And with that, my time here at Wicked Whimsy is done, at least for the moment. I might come back and use this website or domain name for something else eventually – I definitely want to keep ownership of it – but I’m starting a new chapter of things and with that comes the new website. I am keeping the archives up for posterity, of course, and out of sheer fondness for this website – it’s taken me a long way!

So if you wanna keep getting updated, head on over to Let’s Radiate and put it in your RSS reader/bookmarks/sign up for the email list.

That’s all, folks!

The one thing, though, that I know for sure is that big changes are coming – exciting, nervous making (but mostly exciting) changes. For one thing, Wicked Whimsy will no longer be my online home. I want to keep the site up for posterity, but the new home of my musings and business will be at Let’s Radiate, as of June 20th. Just a heads up in case you want to jump over there and check things out for a taste of what’s to come.

And with all of these big-picture changes, I’ve got a few other things to change too. Namely: Take Back Your Creativity won’t be for sale any longer once things switch over to the new site. I’m still very proud of TBYC and stand behind it 100%, but one of the things I’ve been craving this year is cohesion, and that means looking at the big picture and seeing what doesn’t fit. (As Danielle said at WDS, innovation means ruthlessly letting go.)

So – if you’ve been meaning to pick up a copy, now’s the time. As of midnight PST on the 17th, Take Back Your Creativity goes back into the vault and won’t be available for purchase any more. Like, ever. If you’re a working mom, a stressed out cubicle worker, or just someone trying to create a sustainable creative practice for yourself, you should definitely go give it a look see.

Testimonials:

From Goddess Belinda:

Michelle OMG where do I start! This is amazing and full of so much amazing hints, tips and suggestions for taking back your creativity.

I love the variety of ways you have approached this. The interviews are amazing. I really enjoyed them as being a mum to a 2 and 3 year old I’m really busy, however I was able to listen to them while cooking tea. It was amazing listening to so many different inspirational women. Their journeys and tips and suggestions were of great benefit.

The e-book really hit home for me. It showed me ways that I do waste time when l could be creating instead. I am now creating more!!! YAY!!!

WOW Creative Block. What a huge insight. Once reading and thinking about it, it made so much sense. Now when it arises I seem to be able to work though it so much quicker and easier. Cannot thank-you enough!!!

What Do You Do? WOW this is me. I completely relate to this. This has actually been life changing. Because it has made me realise when asked this question I don’t give the kind of answer that I truly want to be projecting. I fumbled and said my passion last. Now it’s changed and I stand tall when answering this question and talk openly about my passion first!!! Thank-you so much for opening me up to this, it’s allowing me to open up and be proud.

I loved the workbook. Seeing something written in black and white is just what I needed in order to get more creative things happening. Also it’s a workbook that can be used over and over which is a huge plus for me!! Will help keep things in perspective and on track.

You have done such an awesome job on this, it’s so amazing. It is hugely resourceful. There is so many ways people can take back their creativity in this e-book and that’s what I love about it. You’re not saying there is one way to do it and that’s it. There are so many!! I knew I wasted a bit of time but not that much. Now I have gained so much more extra time and can do what I love ~ being creative!!!

If this is your first e-book I can’t wait to see what else you bring out!!!

From Natasha:

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  At last a practical approach to creating space for and nurturing creativity! The modules are perfectly focused and full of useful information and advice.  I especially appreciated the advice for re-arranging things to maximize creative time; it’s so easy for me to get sidetracked with chores (especially when I’m avoiding something) and this helped me to schedule my time effectively.

The workbook is a fantastic resource and I will use it over and over again to help me keep on top of priorities and to stay focused on projects.

I especially appreciated that everything had multiple formats so I could print stuff out or read it on my Kindle.  I especially enjoyed listening to the interviews while I was driving — so refreshing and inspiring — and then catching the details later in the transcripts.

This is a very useful course for anyone who is feeling stuck and needs some help getting back on track.  I cannot recommend this highly enough!

Take Back Your Creativity is $47 and, again, is only available until the 17th. So, if you want it, then go ahead and…

As always, thanks for reading, and I’ll hopefully see you on the flip side! (And soon, very soon!)

Me & Dagmar at the afterparty photobooth

I just spent the last weekend in Portland, OR, surrounded by beautiful weather (weather like we haven’t seen here in Austin since April or so!) and 500 wonderfully creative, inspiring, kind, all-around amazing people, soaking up the energy like a sponge. It was a totally amazing event, my first conference gone to as an official badge-holder, and I’m already looking forward to next year. Whether you made it or not, here’s some of my favorite things from the inaugural World Domination Summit…

(A note: some of the talks were much more hands-on than note taking, so I won’t be quoting them here! I effing loved Pam’s talk and her greeting to all of us, and I unfortunately missed Karen’s talk and the Mondo Beyondo talk, which sound as if they were amazing. I think my word would have been tenacity.)

From the luminous Danielle:

“May as well use it” is the kiss of death.

Innovation ruthlessly lets go.

You need to know the rules to break the rules, otherwise you’re just a flake. What rules are you following that you’re not conscious of?

Claim the decision to act on someone elses’ wisdom as your own. They may have given you the advice, but you need to claim your decision. Owning your choices is about leadership.

“I think we have a responsibility to stop being polite to corporate America.”

(Said to, of course, thunderous applause.)

“It’s about the spirit you bring to it, no matter what container you’re in.”

(In response to a question about leaving a day job – but it applies to so many more things.)

On sleazy sales letters: How do you want your customers and clients to feel? Know how much & when you will deliver. When you are truly selling, you are truly being yourself. Articulate the problem you will solve, well. Come from a place of encouragement, sympathy, empathy. And always assume your audience is intelligent.

From the hilarious + death-defying John Unger:

“Don’t rollerskate down an alp. Bad idea.”

“In a way I’m still doing poetry, just in steel.”

“I wasn’t brave, I was desperate. All I wanted to do was make art.”

His workshop – Business Infrastructure and Creativity – was a great one. Takeaways:

If you’re really good at what you do, you want to work with people who are really good at what they do.

What you’re good at + what you care about = your work. Give the rest of the work to someone else.

Find other people to take care of the details or find solutions that take care of themselves.

Ideas are nothing without execution. Execution is nothing without infrastructure.

From creativity strategist Jonathan Fields:

You can’t have forward movement without feedback, even though we fear it.

The zillion sum game:

Will this benefit me?
Will this benefit them?
Will this help people who may never know about this?

Create a zillion-sum environment, not a zero-sum one.

The brain is capable of focusing for 45-90 minutes at a time – after that, our work quality goes downhill. Take breaks. Willpower is a depletable resource. We need to step away. Explore working in bursts.

We might not be able to change the circumstances, but we can change our story.

From the roundtable:

Anxiety is an anticipatory emotion – if you’re living in the present, you can’t feel anxious. – JF

Everyone in this room is a power broker. Whose “yes” can you be? – DL

My own personal WDS breakthrough

Yup, there was one. It didn’t have a damn thing to do with business or creativity or world domination, though, it had to do with grief. Others have summarized the conference at large better than I could have anyways, so I’ll let you read those instead.

Several times during the weekend, I would mention in passing having moved to Austin two years ago, or people would ask where I was from and I’d say, “Oh, Joplin, Missouri.” Oftentimes I’d say it forgetting that people from all over the country have a reason to know that name now. Every time it came up the other person would immediately ask if my family and loved ones were all right, which just goes to show what a lovely, compassionate group of people there was at WDS.

“You cannot punish yourself for feeling pain.”

Danielle said that in her talk on Saturday. She talked about how we push ourselves through grief, we push ourselves through pain, and we punish ourselves for feeling these things. And as I sat and listened it occurred to me that I had been doing that very same thing. For several reasons, all of them a little bizarre, I’d been trying to convince myself that I had no reason to be as grief-stricken about Joplin as I was/am. I later thanked Danielle for saying that because I needed to hear it and got a little choked up in the process (which she was very kind about – one of the most present, full of grace women I have ever met).

Later, the subject came up with Colleen at the after party, and I mentioned how much I appreciated what Danielle said since I had been struggling with it, feeling almost like a hypocrite for being so grief-stricken since I was in such a hurry to get out of there and have snarked on the town many many times, and so on. And she said (forgive me Colleen, this is probably not an exact quote!):

No, it’s totally understandable. The place you’re from, it’s ingrained on you on a cellular level somehow, it’s a part of you. It’s like your family – there are members that you don’t like and don’t get along with, but they’re still your family.

And that was a total lightbulb moment for me, because it articulated so well exactly what I had been feeling without being able to express it, and erased all feelings of hypocracy in one go.

There’s my serious WDS story – and now I have a funnier one to share:

On Friday, I managed to get to the registration line pretty early (partially because I thought registration opened at 6 – not 6:30!). After I got my badge, I wandered back on down the line, found Tessa, and we started talking. While we were talking, another man walked up & started talking to some of Tessa’s companions. I wasn’t listening or paying attention to their conversation (being rather engaged in my own!) until the man suddenly turned to me and said, “Hey. Let me see your name tag.”

I shrugged and showed it to him. He looked from the name tag, to me, to the rest of the line, and then walked off without saying anything else. I turned to the people he’d been talking to and said, “What was that all about?”

Apparently, the guy had walked up and asked them what was going on. They said, “The World Domination Summit”, and he replied with, “Don’t fuck with me.” After listening to them insist that that was really going on, he had asked to see my name tag. And then he walked off without another word, apparently rather perturbed by the whole incident.

So anyways – thank you Colleen, thank you Danielle for your insight & kindness, and thank you to Chris, all of the speakers, and the volunteer team for putting on such an awesome time!

Other WDS recap posts:

Creativity for Self-Reliance

Highlights of the World Domination Summit

Sketchnotes from the World Domination Summit

World Domination Summit? Or World Connection Summit?

Symptoms of Life-Changing Choices

The World Domination Summit: A Field of Dreams

Thank You (My Love Letter to #WDS)

(if I missed your recap post, please link to it in the comments below!)

500 WDS’ers doing their best to be taught Bollywood dance. Check me out in the lower left corner! (Yes, I’m really that short.) There’s also this video, which we can all watch & be reassured by the fact that not everyone is good at everything

PS: that new thing I’m working on? It has a site now. Go check it out!

Text “JOPLIN” to 864833 to donate $10 to tornado relief via Heart of Missouri United Way.

Current donation needs for Redcross:

Large bottles of shampoo, conditioner and body wash; hairbrushes; razors; deodorant; laundry soap; chapstick; flashlights and batteries; cell phone chargers and pre-paid cellphones; baby powder; lotion; plasticware; D-batteries; napkins; pullups; cleaning supplies.

Please no more bottled water. (So I was wrong on that!)

Here’s a flickr set of photos a friend took.

An article written by a former teacher of mine.

DailyMail article with before & after photos (don’t read the comments, apparently some people don’t know what an F5 tornado is & think it’s the residents’ fault that the buildings were devastated.)

An article on how you can help at the Huffington Post – and here’s a link to the Heart of Missouri United Way.

A post from Jeanie, including video and contact information for local hospitals. (And a place where you can ship donations remotely!)

Here’s what I came up with – the self-care toolbox, I like to call it. Meaning it has all sorts of useful things, and that I can dip into and grab one whenever I need it to help me in solving the problem that I have. The toolbox consists of:

• Meditate for 10-15 minutes.
• Go outside for a walk – long or short, doesn’t matter!
• Read something fun for an hour.
• Unplug for 24 hours.
• Have an at-home spa & prettification day (nails, makeup, you name it!)
• Get a massage, even if a short one.
• Take a nap.
• Eat something yummy.
• Chill out at the library/a coffee shop/a bookstore.
• Immerse myself in the ritual of making & drinking tea.
• Draw or paint.

The Big Guns

If the above is the self-care toolbox that I can dip into when I need a little extra reassurance, these things are the foundation of my self-care practice. Without them, everything else pretty much falls apart.

Daily Practices

The daily practices that have the biggest effect on things for me are:

• Meditation – at least 10 minutes a day, preferably in the morning.
• Yoga – again, at least 10 minutes (I know this isn’t a lot and I’m working on adding a few 30ish minute sessions throughout the week), preferably in the morning.
• Morning pages – for some reason, these make a big difference in my stability of mood for the rest of the day. Writing whatever for three pages really feels like it clears out a lot of the mental junk and makes it much easier for me to focus on other, more important things.
• Gratitude journaling – I do this at night, before bed. I really cannot recommend it enough! I started doing it at the beginning of April and about two weeks in was when I started to really see results; it seems to help keep my moods even and tending towards happy, it makes me appreciate the things I have more, it gives me a core of serenity that I can dip into at the end of every day. I don’t do anything fancy or long-winded, I just write a list of things I’m grateful for at the end of every day.

Space

One of my biggest realization is that I need space, both physical and mental. And a lot of it. And the thing with space is that unless you set a container for it to hang out it, it’ll just kind of dissipate, with you never getting to actually soak it up. It’s like fog that way. So my solution is to set a specific structure to give myself more space. Our lease is up in June, and we’re choosing an apartment that has more space (and an actual office for me, glory-be and halle-freakin-lujah).

I’m working on giving myself more mental space as well. Sundays are now days that I’m not on the internet at all and are time to reflect on how the last week went + set goals for the coming week. I’m learning to make consistent space for reading non-internet things as that’s something I really enjoy & benefit from, and to boot myself off the computer because it forces me to write things longhand (which is where I get some of my best ideas). Wednesdays are, as mentioned previously, Matt & I’s date days, and so I’m off the internet from the time he gets up (he works nights right now, so that’s in the afternoon) to the time I go to bed.

The Self Care Game

Here’s something I’m going to try the next time I start feeling a little run down and weary:

Get a notebook and carry it with you. At the start of the day, write down how you’re feeling on a scale from 1-100. After that, write down every activity you do throughout the day – and next to it, write down an addition or subtraction sign, and a number for how much better or worse it made you feel. For example, you might put “Yoga, +10, Meeting with overcontrolling boss, -5″.

The goal: to end the day with a higher amount of self care points than you started it. As an added bonus, this immediately lets you see what activities strengthen and weaken you, so that you can work on increasing the activities that make you feel good.

Do you have any self-care systems in place? If you wrote out a self-care toolbox, what would it consist of?

Just a heads up, my lovelies: posting will probably be once a week for the foreseeable future, unless something really lights a fire & I feel the need to share it immediately. I’m working on something new to share with you all and it’s taking up a lot of my time, energy, & focus right now. If you want to make sure you get a heads up when I’m ready to share it, sign up for the email list below!

One of my favorite blogging comrades is the lovely Ashe Mischief of Dramatis Personae. She’s a kind person & always has an intelligent thought to add to any discussion, as well as being freaking hilarious (and having good taste to boot!). I saw her tweeting yesterday about how she had been getting haterade for this post – apparently the post had been linked to be the Consumerist. The post is the latest of several in a series called Finance & the Fashion Blogger, and it outlines things that Ashe won’t cheap out on (including quality shoes, a quality purse, good fitting jeans, and toothpaste, among others).

Some of the things that were said about Ashe, whether on her blog or on the Consumerist post:

sorry, but you all sound pretty spoiled. obviously you’re still working, and at more than a minimum-wage job.

What a bitch.

This woman seems like she just wants to justify her purchases to herself.

To me, it’s just the epitome of empty consumerism and trying to impress other women with brand names.

Sounds like Dramatis is another one of those snooty and vain people.

Totally judging that woman right now. The way she writes, I have my doubts that she buys one $400 purse to last forever, instead of several $400 purses to match every possible outfit she owns.

There are two things that spring to mind here:

1. Sexism.

Yup, I said it. Sexism. Notice how the commenters don’t bring up certain items on her list, like water, chapstick, or toothpaste. Oh no. They go straight for the feminine things – purses, shoes, jeans. These are what they criticize, splurging on these things is what makes Ashe vain & vapid.

Why is it that I constantly hear people say that they’ll only buy Apple products without any fear of criticism, aside from good-natured ribbing, but someone saying they won’t cheap out on shoes merits vitriol? In fact, in the very comments of that consumerism post, people who criticize Ashe’s spending habits say in the same breath that they will only buy Apple products! Which one of these purchases is explicitly associated with a particular gender, do you think? Why is buying one more frivolous than buying the other?

2. Sustainability.

People called Ashe a snob, but the fact is this: if you buy cheap, low-quality things, and expect them to last, you’re in for a sad, sad surprise. Do you think that the $20 particle board bookcase you get at Wal-Mart is going to last as long as the $200 bookcase made out of actual wood with actual nails? No? Okay, we can agree on that at least.

So if spending money on a $200 bookcase isn’t extravagant or stupid, why is spending $200 on a pair of shoes that will likely last ages? (Obviously, quality varies depending on brand.) Both of them will get heavy use. Only one of them will actually be on your body for that heavy use.

You can buy the $20 shoes that wear out and fall apart after a month of heavy wear (if you’re an all-day, every-day kinda person, and yes, I’ve had this happen), and have no arch support or padding to boot, or you can buy the $200-300 shoes that will be with you for five years and have arch support/padding, or you can do somewhere in between. Whatever makes you happy. But if economics is your issue, do the math: $200 for one pair of shoes for five years, or $1200 for 60 pairs of $20 shoes over five years?

Which one is better for your wallet? Which one is better for the environment? For that matter, which one is better for your body?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

(And this is before we even touch the materials used to construct that $20 pair of shoes, and how good they are for the environment – or the people constructing them, or the livelihood of the people constructing them.)

My won’t cheap out on list:

1. Quality shoes.
2. Quality purses.
3. Tea.
4. Bras. Oh my god, bras.
5. Haircuts & some hair products.
6. Jewelry, to some extent.
7. Makeup, to some extent.

(I was going to include reasons but then decided that that defeated the entire purpose. It doesn’t matter what my reasons are or how stupid you think they are; I’m an adult and I make my own priorities, thankyouverymuch. Same for you.)

Does this mean I pay full retail price for all of these, all the time? No. I hunt for sales, I watch eBay, I’ll snag a discount when I get one. But if I have to, I will pay full retail price for any of these and not regret it one whit. Because those are my priorities.

And I’m picky about brands with all of these; $300 on one pair of shoes is not necessarily the same as $300 on another pair of shoes. There are so many layers to dissect here,  but I’m trying to keep this simple.

Your priorities might be different, & that’s okay; but the next time you start to judge someone elses’ spending, take a deep breath and think about the factors that are making you think the way you are. Do you think that spending on some items is frivolous, but spending on others is not? Why? What factors influenced that? Was there something that you wanted to buy at some point, until someone told you that spending money on that was stupid? How does that affect your spending patterns now?

Reflect. Examine. And when in doubt, mind your own damn business.

So here’s the deal, y’all:

There is this course. And it is run by this awesome woman who makes amazing things. And as I was watching the launch activity for the course, my head was spinning with thoughts of “This is exactly what I need right now! This will help me take my business to the next level and rock it hard!”

But I was also tempering these thoughts with “I shouldn’t get my hopes up. We have to move next month, and that will be expensive. And we still need to book our flight to Portland for WDS.”

So when I saw the scholarship announcement, I was positively ecstatic. I created a video to submit:

The winners were announced today, and I wasn’t one of them. Which I totally do not have sour grapes about – all of the entries were really fabulous and I knew that choosing would be nigh-impossible. And the ladies who won are all people that I admire and love and would give a big congratulations hug to if I could!

But I am still bound and determined to get into the studio.

So here’s where it involves you and you getting awesome things for great prices.

I am so confident that Action Studio will help me produce an amazing new service that, if you buy Take Back Your Creativity today before Sunday the 8th at midnight CST, I will include a session of that awesome new service for free, to be scheduled in June.

(That session will most likely normally be valued between $200 and $300, by the way.)

If you can’t use it, go ahead and buy a copy to send to a friend. I’m sure you know someone who could use it – busy mom? stressed out office-drone-by-day, artist-by-night? Then, email me with your receipt and notes – I’ll send a copy to the lucky recipient, and put you down as one of the people to get the service when it launches.

I have waffled quite a bit on how much to promote Take Back Your Creativity because I don’t want to be a concussion grenade launcher, but I have heard some seriously great feedback from readers and I know that this is a damn good product. Here’s the latest feedback, from just a few days ago:

Michelle OMG where do I start! This is amazing and full of so much amazing hints, tips and suggestions for taking back your creativity.

I love the variety of ways you have approached this. The interviews are amazing. I really enjoyed them as being a mum to a 2 and 3 year old I’m really busy, however I was able to listen to them while cooking tea. It was amazing listening to so many different inspirational women. Their journeys and tips and suggestions were of great benefit.

The e-book really hit home for me. It showed me ways that I do waste time when l could be creating instead. I am now creating more!!! YAY!!!

WOW Creative Block. What a huge insight. Once reading and thinking about it, it made so much sense. Now when it arises I seem to be able to work though it so much quicker and easier. Cannot thank-you enough!!!

What Do You Do? WOW this is me. I completely relate to this. This has actually been life changing. Because it has made me realise when asked this question I don’t give the kind of answer that I truly want to be projecting. I fumbled and said my passion last. Now it’s changed and I stand tall when answering this question and talk openly about my passion first!!! Thank-you so much for opening me up to this, it’s allowing me to open up and be proud.

I loved the workbook. Seeing something written in black and white is just what I needed in order to get more creative things happening. Also it’s a workbook that can be used over and over which is a huge plus for me!! Will help keep things in perspective and on track.

You have done such an awesome job on this, it’s so amazing. It is hugely resourceful. There is so many ways people can take back their creativity in this e-book and that’s what I love about it. You’re not saying there is one way to do it and that’s it. There are so many!! I knew I wasted a bit of time but not that much. Now I have gained so much more extra time and can do what I love ~ being creative!!!

If this is your first e-book I can’t wait to see what else you bring out!!!

Yeah. It’s that good, people. Really.

Now, I’m not 100% for sure what the service I create will look like – I have several ideas right now and want to shine and polish them and get feedback and create something truly beautiful and unique. (Something the Studio will help me with.) But, if when the service is created, it’s not up your alley, that’s cool – we can still talk on Skype for an hour about the progress you’ve made with Take Back Your Creativity, and how you can make more progress with creating a creative practice and making time for that practice.

That’s my offer. Let me know what you think. Stay tuned for more updates, as even aside from the services, I’m working on a new project that I think will rock your socks off.

As always, thanks for reading & thanks for your time!

(Psst! I’ll be drawing a winner for the Find Your Strongest Life book tonight, so why don’t you go enter while there’s still time?)

Take Back Your Creativity

The good words just keep flowin’ in about TBYC! It’s enough to make my heart all a-flutter. Here’s some recent things people have said:

I finished reading the Take Back Your Creativity course and I think that it offers so many tools for the creative person who wants to thrive in their creativity. I really love that you have included so many tools and alternatives. … I think you did a great job with this! Many people can and will be the better for your course! Wonderful, wonderful work! – Donna

And then! There’s this amazingfabulouswonderful video from Scylliane Mohan:

Take Back Your Creativity: Video testimonial from Michelle Nickolaisen on Vimeo.

Your interest piqued? Then why don’t you go take a peek? (See what I did there?)

Link Love

Less than usual this time, as I got super behind on my readin’ after SXSW and ended up hitting “mark all as read” quite a bit. But there’s still diamonds to be shared!

Inspiration

“Be grateful. The rest will follow.” Sandi, as always, brings the inspiration supernova to the table.

The Goddess Project makes my heart happy.

You know what else makes my heart happy & my eyes tear up a little? Bolivia enshrines natural world’s rights with equal status for Mother Earth, that’s what. See also: Breaking News: Earth Has Rights!

How Childhood Sexual Abuse Made Me a Better Coach

the cave, the ringmaster, and the loch

Facets

A mysterious red button – do you push it?

Lifestyle

Slashers Unite!

I just discovered this blog the Hairy Edge & it is fabulous. Here’s my favorites so far: Swallowing Vomit: Say What You Mean, & Dreams Are Sexy, Goals Are Work: Part 1 & Part 2

I love the idea of zillion-sum.

Fear: Examining the Evidence

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.”
- Walt Whitman

two articles with the same theme that both make me go “yes!”: living in contradictions (on purpose) & you’re a mess of contradictions. how very beautiful.

the most courageous choice you’ll ever make & inherent goodness and the playground of acceptance

Creativity

Uncanny Ways to Free Creativity

How to be More Creative by Being a Slasher

Inside the Mind of an Unrepentant Slasher

move through the creative gap (all the way to the power of awesome)

Etc.

Peter Thiel: We’re in a Bubble and It’s Not the Internet. It’s Higher Education.

Me Around the Blogosphere

At CustomerLove: Be you. Everyone else is taken.

& Belinda, from Goddess You, featured me as a goddess guest in her interview series! She also had some kind words to say about Take Back Your Creativity: “I am reviewing Michelle’s ebook “Take Back Your Creativity” and wow!! It’s amazing and a must have!!! I loved it so much that l wanted to interview Michelle…”

What’s Rockin’ My Socks

As I mentioned earlier, I was pretty sick last week. I tried a bunch of things to help – here’s what did the trick for me:

• elderberry cough syrup with vitamin c, zinc, and echinacea
• ginger-lemon-honey water – chop up fresh ginger, pour boiling water over it, add a squirt of lemon, and add a spoonful of honey. It’s kind of naturally fizzy, which is sort of a weird sensation, but it actually doesn’t taste bad.
• tea tree oil + boiling water = tea tree steam
• gargling with sea salt water
• oil of oregano

These were, of course, on top of “normal” medicine (Mucinex & Nyquil/Dayquil) but I didn’t start to see any marked improvement until after I started the regimen of “dammit, I am not going to be sick any more”.

I’m working through the Right Brain Business Plan book with other Goddess Circle members & it’s a lot of fun – I am SO enjoying the exercises! My favorite so far has been the values cards, which I scanned and uploaded to Pinterest. My values lined up almost perfectly into pairs, so I did a series of double sided cards. My favorites are artistry/aesthetics, imagination/whimsy, & alignment/integrity. (Gee, do you think that says anything about me? Anything at all?)

And the last lovely thing I want to share with you is that Goddess Leonie just launched her Business Goddess course. Goddess Circle members got a sneak peek, and so I can already tell you that it is fabulamazing and chock-full of goodness. If you want a gentle, uplifting business course that isn’t all “CRUSH YOUR COMPETITORS” and “DO IT THIS WAY OR YOU WILL DIIIE” (and uh, really, who does want that?) I would highly highly recommend it, with an exclamation point to boot. You can buy the Business Goddess course for $79 or you can enroll in the Goddess Circle & get an amazing community + access to everything Leonie has made & will make for only $20 more. Your choice.

Currently

I’m writing this on Saturday so I can schedule it for Monday without having to worry about it on Sunday. Which is not only a switch-off Sunday but is Matt & I’s second wedding anniversary! He has a scavenger hunt planned, which I’m pretty excited about. No lie. (And very, very glad that I’m feeling better for.)

I hope that if you had a turbulent April, things have settled down some, and that at least you had some epiphanies to help balance it out. Also, happy Walpurgis or Beltaine if you celebrate either of those!

Refreshingly, I was very much wrong. I saw someone mention it again a few weeks ago and decided to bite the bullet and give it a go; taking the Strong Life test first so that I could skim my profiles and see if it was worth reading after all. (I’m something of a Creator/Equalizer hybrid with the supporting role of Motivator, in case you’re curious.) After reading that information, I was totally hooked and started reading the rest of the book.

The worlds of work and home and friends and hobbies and special interests are now so interwoven, both technologically and practically, that all high performing organizations must reach beyond the workplace and address the whole person.

How can I not love a book that starts off like that? After all, that’s what I’m all about – realizing that our lives are interwoven & we can’t box off one part of our life to try and fix it without addressing the things in other areas of our lives.

He starts out with the advertised research about how women today are less happy than they were 50 years ago, but then goes on to say that it isn’t progress that’s at fault. Instead, the root of the problem is double sided: one, that women have been given more and more responsibilities without ever having any of their original responsibilities fully taken away, and two, that we now have so many choices & responsibilities, it’s easy to end up overwhelmed, and can be nigh impossible to make choices that actually help you as a person and make you happy.

The rest of the book works at addressing these issues. The overall focus is in a career/life purpose direction, although there’s advice that applies equally to relationships and family and even some specific information for those areas at the end of the book. Buckingham goes through several philosophies I agree with – he says to screw balance, and instead go for fulfilling imbalance, and to ask what’s working instead of what’s not. He shows you how to figure out what you find fulfilling (the strong moments in your life) and how to actively seek them out.

The book isn’t perfect by any means – it gets repetitive at times, and it’s very heterocentric. He actually says something at one point about how the one constant in a woman’s life is relationships with men, and many of the examples and case studies are of women with children – the unstated assumption is that if you don’t already have children, you’ll want to at some point.

However, despite these flaws, I would definitely recommend this book without hesitation to anyone feeling confused or frustrated with their life at the moment. It caused several epiphanies of varying sizes for me, and I’m pretty damn glad I came across the chance mention that made me want to pick it up again.

In fact! I liked it so much, I bought a copy so that I can host a lil’ giveaway here for you wonderful people. All you have to do is leave a comment below, with a recent strong moment for you – something that made you happy or fulfilled or put you in the flow state – from this last day or week. Winners will be chosen randomly one week from today. Go go go!

I mentioned that Matt and I had a big fight at the beginning of the month. I went into a bit of a panic afterwards, looking up relationship/marriage self-help books on Amazon and websites and yada yada. (Which is what prompted this tweet, in case you were wondering.) A lot of the advice started out with figuring out what each person was doing that wasn’t working, and talking about why it wasn’t working, and what one person does that annoys the other, and things along those lines. Just thinking about this made my chest hurt a little bit. Really? The best advice you can give me is that we should sit down and have a conversation where we point out each others’ flaws? Yuck!

What did we do instead? We decided to declare Wednesdays (free days for both of us) date days, where the entire day is dedicated to spending quality time together. We decided to spend more quality time together in general – no roommate, no computers, just us. We decided that in addition to doing that, we were going to do something every single day – no matter how small of a gesture – that shows the other person how important and cared for they are.

I’m no relationship expert, but I’ll bet that these changes will be better for us than sitting down and pointing out each others’ flaws and how they hurt the other person. They’ve already made me feel a million times more secure in our relationship.

This tactic works everywhere; to great results. Want to eat healthier? Don’t beat yourself up about eating junk food, just make it a rule to eat more good things – and come up with a list of those good things that you can refer to when stuck. Don’t focus on being less lazy – focus on being more active. Don’t focus on spending less, instead try to save more.

By all means, get rid of (or delegate) the things about your work that you don’t love – but put more of your attention on making sure that the things you do love fill your day. Otherwise, you might end up with a workday lacking the things you loathe, but also lacking an abundance of the things you love to do, creating a rather mediocre experience.

Keeping your focus on adding instead of subtracting keeps your mindset open and expansive. It keeps your brain from freaking out about losing item X forever – but chances are you’ll be doing or having much less of it anyways, if not stopping entirely. That’st he wonder of focusing on upping the good, instead of worrying about subtracting every last bit of the bad. As Buckingham notes, by not paying attention to the problems, you’re taking away their fuel, leaving them to whither and die; which in turn creates that much more room for the parts that you’re focusing on – the amazing, strengthening, life affirming moments & actions.