Wide Right Radio

Thoughts on Super Mario World

2012-03-16T15:16:00.003-04:00

Before I get down in the weeds, I want to say that this is a great signing. It's great that we're bringing in some serious talent via free Agency. It's great that the Bills are willing to spend money. It's great that they brought in someone who will make current and prospective players believe in the Bills. But remember: We very likely paid Mario Williams more than any other team was willing to pay him. That's true with pretty much every free agent any team acquires. With that, some thoughts on Mario:

Don't expect Mario to turns the Bills into a 12-4 team. One player rarely makes more than a one-win difference. The Bills need a very good LT out of the draft, a healthy Kyle Williams, superb seasons out of Aaron Williams and Drayton Florence, and a showing from their 2011 and 2012 draft classes. I also think the Bills probably need another 1-2 free agent signings to will in depth at WR and along the offensive line. KC Joyner made the point that defenses will attack your weakest link. There's no point in having an incredible left-half of the line if the right-half is porous.
Mario is unlikely to be a locker-room leader. And that's okay. He was known for being quiet in Houston and he'll be quiet here too. Kyle Williams, Marcell Dareus, Nick Barnett, Drayton Florence, and George Wilson are all bona fide defensive leaders.
He'll be lining up at left defensive end. Or so said Nix on WGR and apparently this was one of Mario's requests. I'd imagine he'll get moved around a lot: LDE, RDE, DT, OLB. Still, I'm not a fan of the quarterback being able to see what's coming.
Kelsay will be a lot better. I've never been a Kelsay hater, especially not when he's got his hand on the ground. You have to love Kelsay with double-teams going everywhere but his way and the guy gets to line up on the right side. I think a lot of folks will be clamoring for Carrington, but I'd bet Kelsay has the inside track on the starting job.
This means the Bills are running a traditional 4-3. The good news is that our defensive line is perfectly configured to run this. The bad news is that our linebackers are not. Merriman's a poor fit for the scheme. (Great article on systems here and here.)Sheppard has a lot more responsibility in the middle. And Barnett moves into the Will LB position. I suppose Merriman gets plugged in at the Sam LB. If all this is true, you wonder how guys like Moats, Eddins, and Morrison fit in. My gut says Morrison looks damn good in this system, Eddins is too young for us to care, and Moats is on the outside looking in. I'd love to see Bryan Scott resigned for depth.
Teams will look for other ways to victimize us. We're still a little light up the middle. Kyle Williams always did play bigger than his size, but he's not a prototypical over-center DT and neither is Dareus. Our inability to stop quick slant passes remains and teams will look increasingly to the quick plays.

'Boys and 'Skins Get Spanked

2012-03-12T16:14:00.004-04:00

Kinda awesome. Cowboys and Redskins lose $10m and $36m in cap space over the next two years for improperly front-loading contracts in an uncapped year. That space is distributed to the other teams: Bills get another $1.6m in cap space. It is unclear whether this cap space is contingent upon when the Cowboys and Redskins take the cap hit.

With the Bills in one of the best cap positions in the league, the front office is facing even greater pressure to fill clear needs at LT, WR, and DE/LB.

Brothers Give Bills Thumbs Up

2011-10-29T10:56:00.000-04:00

1) The brothers are back doling out nuts and straps. Fred "The Head" Jahttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifckson is on their list. No surprise there; the guy's nick-name is THE HEAD!

2) Are the Bills destined for the playoffs or just destined to go 8-8 after a hot start? Playoffs? PLAYOFFS???

3) The Bills D has been somewhere between bad and mediocre. So which is it? The brothers debate.

4) Buffalo boy Ron Gronkowski had his photo with some taken with some B-list porn star. Riley feels strongly that Gronko should have realized he's a role model and skipped the photo op. Bennett's just glad Porno Ron has gotten some little kids started early on the whole masturbating thing.

5) Riley cut off half his thumb in a horrific radish-chopping accident. Will he survive? Please, no donations.

6) The Bills head to Toronto to play the Skins in front of a listless, Canadian crowd. Will they bring it enough to bring down the Skins?

Eagles Predictions

2011-10-09T12:45:00.003-04:00

With the Brothers once again unavailable, here's our predictions for the game.

Bennett: Eagles 31, Bills 27.

Riley: Bills 31, Eagles 27. I admit, I saw Bennett's prediction, so I'm tweaking him a bit. I think that he's right that it'll be a high scoring game. Neither defense has proven any ability to stop an opposing offense. The speed on the Eagles offense gives me pause, as does every single passer's ability to exploit the Bills' lack of a pass rush and inept secondary. But Vick's status as a running QB may benefit the Bills since the Bills have already shown they can't defend against prototypical pocket passers. The Eagles will bring a big pass rush, much like Cincinnati. The Bills must find a way to be effective in the face of the rush. Short passes. Get Nelson open. Use Chandler. I think the Bills have learned from last weeks' loss. They won't let it happen again.

Bengals Predictions

2011-10-02T11:58:00.005-04:00

With the Brothers yet again slacking, here are our predictions.

Riley: Bills 24, Bengals 17. Here's what scares me about this match-up, and it's not this whole "trap game" idea. This team has been through too much to take Cincinnati lightly. The Bengals have a very strong offensive line. The Bills line has been playing out of its mind, by some metrics the best in the league. That's not going to last and the Bengals can bring pressure from all over the place. Fitzpatrick has always been known as a streaky QB and, if like last year, he throws a bunch of picks, the Bills could find themselves down very quickly. But here's what I like: Cincinnati's stadium provides almost no home-field advantage, beyond Hall the secondary is not much to write home about compared with the Bills' depth at WR, Cincinnati's WRs have not yet shown the ability to victimize a weak secondary such as ours, and a rookie QB combined with a mediocre rushing attack give the Bills pass rush the year's first opportunity to tee off. Compared to the first three games of the season, I expect this to be a defensive battle that the Bills win.

I'll post Bennett's prediction when he wakes up. Lazy bum. Edit: Bennett's prediction: Bills 24, Bengals 21. Riley's Comment: And this is why we're related.

Pats Predictions

2011-09-25T11:37:00.002-04:00

In the name of transparency, here are the Brothers' predictions for today's game. Bennett predicts the Pats 31-Bills 17. Riley says Bills 35-Pats 31.

Here's what I'm thinking, other than a blatant desire to be a contrarian. Are the Bills likely to win this game? No. The Pats have a decade of success in their coach and quarterback, who at the outset of the 2011 season seem to be at the top of their game. The Bills have 2 games of this success. Moreover, the Bills victories have come against unremarkable opponents. Kansas City was promptly victimized by Detroit. Oakland won the week before against Denver, who then went on to beat Cincinnati (who is only 1-1 because they mauled the Cleveland Browns who themselves at .500 because they beat up on a hapless Colts team). Those are some objectively bad teams. Here's what I like about today's game: the Bills offense can move the football against bad defenses and New England has a bad defense. When New England loses, they tend to lose away from home. This New England team is not invincible and someone will beat this team by pressuring Brady using their front three to five linemen. I think with a good game from our OLBs and D-line, the Bills can win this one in a shootout.

Bills Opener Stroke of Genius

2011-09-15T23:20:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills went to KC and trounced the reigning AFC West division chamhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifps. Oh man was it beautiful to watch.

2) The brothers hand out the not-so-coveted "Mike Gandy Award," doled out to the Bills player most likely to suck this season.

3) Bennett has been doing a lot of traveling, and wants to know what's up with all the porn in the airport? And is there such a thing as the solo mile high club???

4) If you were heading to The Ralph, which Bills jersey would you don? Riley goes big, while Bennett goes big trouble.

5) The battery chucking Raiders come to Buffalo on Sunday. Will the upstart Bills be able to stop the Oakland running game and move to 2-0? The brothers debate.

Bills Weave in Reinforcements

2011-05-22T19:51:00.002-04:00

1) The Bills went 4-12 last season, but at this point Bennett can't even remember that. The brothers take a look back at the disappointing but entertaining 2010 campaign.

2) With the third pick in the draft, the Bills select someone who will suck. Fortunately, the Bills didn't do that this year. (Check out Michael Jasper.)

3) Tom Modrak is finally out as the head guy at One Bills Drive. Good riddance.

4) Donte Whitner, unrestricted free agent and foul-mouthed Twitter nut, is waging a war of worlds with Buffalo fans. Donte, keep up your tweets and go play for someone else.

5) This chick's weave stopped a bullet. Not much to say here other than that checking this Youtube clip will change your life.

6) The lockout. What's it mean for the NFL? What's it mean for the Bills? Let's ask a lawyer...Riley!

Bills, Bills, Bills...Ho!!!

2010-11-27T18:59:00.001-05:00

1) The Bills went to Cincinnati and bitch-slapped the toothless Bengals. Lots of guys brought their nuts, but one DB only brought his strap.

2) The Bills get a taste of the best when they face off with the Big Date Raper and the Steelers. The boys from Buffalo sure have looked good in recent weeks, but the brothers are convinced they'll be coming back to earth come Sunday.

3) After lighting up the likes of Baltimore and Cincinnati, Bills fans are wondering if Ryan Fitzgerald is the long-term answer at QB. Is he? The brothers debate.

4) Thanks to Riley's awesome gift, Bennett's kids are obsessed with the Thundercats. Who's your favorite Thundercat? It better not be Snarf.

5) Chan Gailey has this team playing hard, leaving the brothers to ponder just how good the Bills coach really is.

6) With the holiday season upon us, the brothers give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to some holiday traditions. Caroling anyone? Yeah, didn't think so.

0-7, But Bills McRibbin' Good

2010-11-06T15:08:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills lost consecutive OT games, but the brothers like what they saw.

2) The Bears meet up with the Bills in Toronto, site of some of the dullest games in Bills history. Can the Bills finally get a W over one of the most overrated teams in the NFL?

3) Buddy Nix shocked Bills fans earlier this week when he put in a claim for "Lights Out" Merriman. While he's probably only a rental, the brothers love the pick-up. And hey Maybin, you now officially suck.

4) Ryan Fitzpatrick has energized the offense over the past month, leaving the brothers to wonder if Fitz is the long-term answer at quarterback.

5) Can you imagine if you had nine kids and couldn't remember their names? Talk to Antonio Cromartie.

6) McDonald's has brought back the McRib Sandwich, and Bennett is psyched. Now have you ever heard of McRib DJ Plowman? Yeah, didn't think so.

7) The Bills could have had Randy Moss, but chose to pass on the disgruntled but talented WR. Good call? The brothers debate.

Bills in Toilet

2010-10-23T12:36:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills stunk up The Ralph again on Sunday, and the place was littered with jock-straps. Pick one.

2) What do Fruity Pebbles and porn have in common? Listen in for the scoop.

3) Beloved Beast Mode was finally shipped out of town for a fourth round draft pick. The brothers mourn his departure. Who else on the Bills is likely to get arrested for carrying a 9mm, and hit some chick with his car? The memories...

4) Dave Andreychuck (Chris Kelsey) gets a big-ass extension after proving he can't play for shit. Another brilliant decision by Bills' management. The brothers are pissed.

5) Bennett has fallen in love with what he has deemed "The Supertoilet." Oh, sweet glorious hot water on the anus.

6) The brothers guarenteee the Bills won't lose this week. As for next week, well, it's sure to get ugly.

Bills Stink Up Cheese Country

2010-09-21T22:18:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills stunk up Green Bay, and the brothers struggle to find someone who actually brought their nuts to the game. How 'bout the pilot who got the team there? Done.

2) Chan Gailey announced that Fitz is stepping in for Captain Checkdown. Riley thinks Fitz will give the team the best chance to win, while Bennett just thinks he gives the Bills the best chance to not suck so much. Either way, Riley can't remember what his name is. Representative...and depressing.

3) Bills fan and longtime tailgater Ken Johnson made headlines when an NFL official threatened to close his tailgating party due to Ken's love for "bowling ball shots." The brothers aren't too pleased. Not only is this is a bowling ball shot much better than imbibing off a used condom, for example, but it's also the most exciting thing to happen at a Bills game all season.

4) They're only two games into the season, but already the Bills are part of the "worst team in the NFL" conversation. The brothers debate.

5) Bills/Pats. It's going to be ugly. How ugly? You might want to avert your glance and just do something else with your time.

Strap-O-Licious

2010-09-18T08:33:00.000-04:00

1) The Bills surprised no one, and stunk it up in the season opener against Miami. With so many jockstraps to go around, who will the brothers choose? Dave Andreychuck, anyone???

2) Clinton Portis uttered some craziness about female journalists in locker rooms. Guess who's coming to Clinton's defense? It's Riley!

3) No matter what the big-wigs at 2 Bills Drive say, Marshawn "Beast Mode" Lynch is on the trading block. But what can the Bills expect to get in return for a guy who carried the ball three times last week and still has some chick's weave stuck in his grill from that DUI down in Allentown?

4) Even in the wake of yet another disatrous performance, Bennett maintains his man-love for Trent Edwards. Will Riley talk some sense into his brother, or will Bennett remain the only Trent Edwards fan out there?

5) Reggie Bush has to return the Heisman. The brothers both think it's bullshit. And can't Reggie just say he lost the damn thing?

6) The Bills travel to Green Bay to get their asses handed to them this weekend. No way the Bills will win, but can they at least keep it close? Listen in for the scoop.

Cutting to the Chase

2010-09-11T19:31:00.001-04:00

1) The Bills got down to 53 by jettisoning former second round pick James Hardy. Goodbye James, we hardly knew ya.

2) Mom and dad pay a visit to Riley and Bennett in their respective cities. What's this have to do with peeing in the sink? Listen in for the details.

3) Linebacker Kawika Mitchell's now out for the season. Bennett was convinced the guy was pretty much done anyway, but it's sad to see the Tweet-master go down for the entire year.

4) It's one thing to have a fear of flying, but a fear of owls? Yeah, that's weird. The brothers discuss.

5) The Fins come to town, and the brothers are ready with their predictions. And of course there's the annual Mike Gandy award, handed out to the player most likely to suck.

Pain in the Ass

2010-08-28T09:19:00.001-04:00

1) Except for that homer from Tonawanda, everyone thinks the Bills are going to blow this season. Could this be the worst Bills team ever?

2) Bennett went down to Mexico and came back with a vicious case of 'rhoids. Ouch.

3) Some pissed-off teens heckled the Bills at practice this week. Is it appropriate to heckle your own team? The brothers debate.

4) Riley's making the big move from DC to NYC. What does this have to do with ben-wa- balls and a Hollywood tranny? Tune in for the details.

5) The brothers drafted their fantasy teams this week, and let's just say one of them has Lee Evans slotted into a starting spot. That can't be a good move.

6) The Bills face off with the Bengals this weekend. The brothers anticipate more hemmorhoids and a beheading. Good times.

Banking on the Draft

2010-04-21T10:18:00.006-04:00

1) The Bills go into this week's draft with plenty o' holes to fill. Offensive line? Quarterback? Nose tackle? The brothers discuss.

2) Donte Whitner, master of the tweet, recently tweeted that he'd just finished up doing his nails and was ready for a nap. Hey Donte, stop tweeting and start figuring out why you suck.

3) Vezina stud Ryan Miller has a hot-ass girlfriend. Riley doesn't get it, but Bennett sure does.

4) The Sabres are struggling, and might be headed for a first round exit. What gives?

5) Bennett hit the sperm bank this week, and he's here with all the juicy details. Naughty Latinas #38 sound good?

Looking Back...In Anger!

2010-03-26T08:10:00.001-04:00

1) With the draft quickly approaching, the brothers take a look back at the 2009 draft. Aaron Maybin, are you officially a bust yet?

2) Bennett had his first bowl of Count Chocula and he's pretty excited about it. Anything better than The Count? Maybe some Little Debbie snack cakes.

3) With the decade having come to a close, many fans are putting together their all decade team. For the Bills, how about the worst of the past decade? Mike Gandy, anyone?

4) Time for a little Price is Right. Would you trade Beast Mode for a 4th round pick? Would you trade Demetrius Bell for a case of beer and bucket of chicken wings? Yeah, tough one. Think about it.

5) The Sabres are sitting in first place in the division, and look poised for a solid playoff run. But are they ready for a run at the cup? The brothers debate.

Bills Need Rehab

2010-03-13T11:39:00.002-05:00

1) The season ended months ago, and just now are the brothers finally able to speak of THE HORROR that took place over those sixteen games.

2) Tiger Woods is still in rehab over his "sex addiction" issues. Is there such a thing as sex addiction. Riley and Bennett debate.

3) Chan Gailey was brought in. Riley liked the hire. Bennett's horrified. And what does Chan Gailey have to do with picking up chicks at a bar? Listen in for the scoop.

4) The highlight of the year for every Bills fan is coming soon: the draft. Should the Bills look to secure a quality QB, or just go big?

5) Due to his unkempt facial hair and hippie hair, Bennett's wife placed him in a no-sex situation. Solution: bring on the hawk!

Countdown to Colonoscopy

2010-01-01T23:55:00.002-05:00

1) The brothers took last week off, and the Bills did the same. Stinky, stinky jockstraps everywhere, even upstairs.

2) Ralph made his big hire for the GM position. Bill Cowher? Mike Shannahan? Bill Parcells? Nope. Some old dude no one's ever heard of. Great. Thanks, Ralph!

3) Dick Clark helped ring in the new year, stroked out and all. Dick, please stay home December 31; you're killing our buzz.

4) Rookie sensation Jarius Byrd is heading to the Pro Bowl, but Riley's not sure he deserves it. Listen in as the brothers debate.

5) Indy comes to town with zippo to play for. The brothers smell a W for the home team, and a nice slide down the draft order.

Bills Bad, Chiefs Worse

2009-12-19T11:49:00.002-05:00

1) The Bills went down to Kansas City and came back with a victory. Yes, the Bills are still bad. But at least they're not as bad as the lowly Chiefs.

2) Reports out of New England allege that the man best known for his work as the Patriot mascot was arrested in some kind of prostitution ring. Just the thought of that guy in his suit getting worked over by some Thai hooker makes the brothers smile.

3) Instant replay is boring. Really boring. Listen in as Riley and Bennett discuss some ways to make it more, uh, interesting.

4) The Thurminator on Twitter wants to know who the biggest asshole in Bills history is. Paging Bruce Smith.

5) The Hoodie and his boys come to town looking for a victory and a strangle-hold on a playoff spot. The Bills shouldn't put up much of fight, but on any given Sunday...

Canadian Crap

2009-12-11T17:08:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills went up to Toronto and for the second straight season bored the brothers to tears. Nice business move, Ralph. When will the frozen head do something right?

2) With only a few games left, Riley and Bennett are clamoring for a on-field glimpse of the young guns. Paging Aaron Maybin. Maybin? Maybin?

3) Yes, that Toronto game sucked. Let's go over it again.

4) Pictures have surfaced of a naked OJ toweling off in the locker room sometime circa 1977. Dude is hung. Check it out? Don't worry, you're not gay--just curious.

5) With so many injuries out there these days, Riley and Bennett ponder which one they'd care for the least. Hmmm...groin pull anyone?

6) The Bills head for an exciting showdown with Kansas City, a team that just might be more pathetic than the Bills. Ready for a 9-6 thriller?

Fewelled Up

2009-12-01T18:10:00.000-05:00

1) The Bills finally came through in the fourth quarter, thanks to the likes of Fred Jackson and Ricky Williams. Stick to passing the blunt, Ricky!

2) P. Fewell's 1-1 as a head coach, and everyone's ready to hand the guy the head coaching job. Riley and Bennett aren't quite convinced.

3) Riley headed in for a CT scan this week and got a bunch of crapped pumped into his ass. What gives? Listen in for the horrifying details.

4) With the Bills heading to Toronto for a Thursday encounter with the Jets, the brothers ponder Canada's cool factor. Brian Adams? Bacon? DeGrassi Junior High? Hmmmm.

5) Former first round pick Marshawn Lynch had only three carries on Sunday. Is it time to trade Beast Mode, and what could the Bills expect in return?

6) The Bills face the Jets up in Toronto, and the brothers are sure hoping it's not the pathetic affair it was last season when the Bills ventured up there.

Bills Can't Turn Corner

2009-11-25T14:52:00.003-05:00

1) The Bills went down to Jacksonville, played okay for about forty-five minutes, then lost. Sound familiar? Oh yeah.

2) You know you're a Bills fan when you: A) Make love to your woman in a Don Beebe jersey B) Have a podcast and blog devoted to the Bills even though they let you down year after year C) Pee in the sink D) All of the above

3) Bothered by all the knee injuries in the NFL, Bennett wonders why they just don't make knee braces mandatory. And while we're going there, why not jockstraps?

4) The brothers quick-hit a few topics. Fewell as head coach? Fitz as qb? Peeing in the sink?

5) Cowher and Gruden said no. Do the Bills have a legit shot at bringing in a big name, big money coach, or are we destined for some lowly re-tread?

6) Miami comes to town. Remember when this game actually meant something? Yeah, it's been awhile.

No More Dicking Around

2009-11-18T13:40:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills laid another fourth quarter egg, but you can't put the blame on Fred "Head" Jackson. The guy always brings his nuts.

2) The frozen head (that's Ralph, for those of you playing at home) finally got rid of Dick, even though "he's such a nice guy." The brothers don't care how nice Dick was, they're just glad he's gone.

3) Titans' owner Bud Adams flipped the Bills and their fans a bird. Classless. And it cost the guy 250K. So why are the brothers thanking Bud? Tune in for the details.

4) The 4th quarter has been unkind to the Bills, and even more unkind to their fans who have to watch that garbage? What would Riley and Bennett rather be doing during the fourth quarter? Toenail clipping and potty training top the list.

5) The Bills head to Jacksonville with a new coach and the same tired old assortment of players. Look for MJD to pile up the yardage, but somehow Bennett thinks the Bills will come out on top.
- Show quoted text -

Houston, We Have a Problem

2009-11-03T19:35:00.004-05:00

1) The Bills D stood strong, but the offense was more than a little offensive. Another signature Dick Jauron loss. Thanks, Dick!

2) The brothers are up and tweeting, but Bennett's not sure if he can figure this whole thing out. And does he really still have a VCR?

3) Caron Butler just kicked his Mountain Dew habit, complete with withdrawal and the shakes. What???

4) Some NFL Network "gurus" have labeled Jarius Byrd a "freelancer" who doesn't play the run. Who cares when you've got a handful of picks in just a few games.

5) The Bills are 3-5, which means it's time for some mid-season awards. Drayton Florence, there's one coming your way!

6) At the mid-way point, the brothers ponder which injury derailed the Bills the most during the first half of the season. Poz's arm? Mitchell's knee? Riley's groin? Oh, and don't miss hearing Bennett wax eloquent on all things Marley and Me.

7) The Bills head to the land of Vince Young. Will the Titans lay down for the Bills, or will Vince prove he still belongs in the NFL?