The Wigglebrick Intercepts

Mother Russia’s Conception Day

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 15:19:38 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, It’s been several weeks since the Russian Government sent their citizenry home to “make babies” for Conception Day. This twisted September 12 holiday is nine months before their national holiday, Russia Day, on June 12 and new mothers are discovering they are pregnant. Oi vey, their joy makes me miserable. This is a [...]

Time Will Tell if the Pope Misbehaves

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:09:57 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, Time is wondering if Pope Benedict XVI will behave during his trip to Austria. What a scream! I love the imagery of a misbehaving pope. Such a juicy little seed to plant in your patient’s mind. Especially since it blames the Holy See for the murder and mayhem following his “provacative” lecture a [...]

Hypocrisy: The Greatest Sin

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 00:05:37 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, Senator Larry Craig’s resignation following his arrest for cruising an undercover policeman in the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport restroom presents a golden opportunity to win points through hypocrisy. He’s been pummeled in the media during a week’s worth of news cycles, so his guilt in the public arena is assured. Let’s accept his impropriety [...]

Sanctity of Parenthood

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 18:17:35 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, Have you ever wondered why the Enemy’s Church considers “openness to life” to be an essential disposition for a couple discerning a vocation to marriage? There are many reasons, but primarily it is because children help orient their parents toward the Enemy. It is commonly understood that parents sanctify, or make holy, their [...]

Mercy and Web Permanence

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 19:24:16 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, As you’re fully aware, the Enemy’s Church is founded on mercy, forgiveness and compassion. His entire mission on Earth is redemption (I say is, not was as his mission is unending.). He loves his creation so much, he gave his only son in exchange for their salvation. You never want your patient exhibiting [...]

Clearasil Gives Admen Confidence

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 03:44:47 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, Check out the new Clearasil commercials airing on prime-time. They’re perfect fodder for your patient, especially “Mom” showing a teenage boy hitting on his friend’s mother, followed by the tagline, “Clearasil gives you confidence.” Brilliant! I can’t decide what I like better: the boy-chases-mom phenomenon going ultra mainstream or knowing that people will [...]

Mobile Loaves and Fishes

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 02:20:54 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, I’m sure you recall the parable of the sheep and the goats (Matthew 25:31-46) from your studies of the Enemy’s Handbook. The sheep are praised for feeding and clothing the King while the goats are condemned for ignoring him. Neither recognized the King when he revealed himself to them. The story foretells Parousia [...]

Michael Moore: Master Marketer

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 00:53:24 +0000

Dear Bunglehorn, I note that your patient has been a subscriber to Michael Moore’s email newsletter for almost a decade, since his college days, when the regular missive offered thoughtful tidbits he observed on the human condition. Around the release of his book, Stupid White Men, Moore altered his disbatch into a clever propaganda vehicle [...]

Fireworks Fun in Philly

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:07:13 +0000

Bunglehorn, Did you hear about the Philadelphia fireworks fiasco last night? Due to rainy weather, city officials canceled their Independence Day fireworks show after people waited for hours to see it. Then, as the crowds departed, so did the clouds. The officials launched the show, but most spectators had left. The news accounts how everyone [...]

No Amnesty for the Aborted

Prof. Ernest Thornberry — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 22:17:05 +0000

Greetings Bunglehorn, The US Catholic Bishops are urging Amnesty International to reverse their abortion policy. Thankfully, we can count on the MSM to ignore their plea. This is important because many people may not realize Amnesty International’s policy has slid from allowing abortions in cases of rape, incest and the jeopardy of the mother’s life [...]