WikiFictionary

Alaska

The really cold one above and a bit the the left of Canada where everyone is constantly drunk on tequila from a bottle with some blokes toe in it. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this [...]

Canada

The one above the USA. This is, in fact, where all the Americans are born. First they learn the basics by practising not saying please or thank you. Next they they learn to shoot things, execute people and drive pickup trucks. A quick course in “How to Increase Your Carbon Footprint” and “How not to [...]

Mexico

Mexico is the the cute warm little country below the USA. It has really cool bullet ridden mud houses. The main import for Mexico is fugitives and main exports are domestic staff and donkeys. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to [...]

America (USA)

The bit above Mexico but below Canada. The main difference between Canada and the USA is that more male citizens of the USA have had sex with an animal than have a passport. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping [...]

I’m a Celibate – Get Me Out of Here!

The idea was an extremely promising one with all the usual winning ingredients: Z-list celebrities, a predictable format and a telephone vote. Each week famous celibate celebs would be taken to some temptingly erotic location and titillated until they gave in – last one standing (or unencumbered by furry handcuffs) was the winner. However, the [...]

Diggle Tunny

Nestled in the Mendip hills near the river Piddling it has a chocolate box look with no roads signs and very few street lights. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to [...]

Punchy Drunks

These fall broadly into three sub-categories: Comedy – lurch about swinging wildly and can’t hit a thing and can amuse you for hours but if you’re a good friend make sure they don’t hurt themselves. Professional – can hit really hard and are what Tasers were invented for. aka “twats” or “psycopaths”. Literal – they [...]

Kanelpyu (n.)

A terrible condition which afflicts anyone whose job involves repeating a breezy greeting or repetitive and insincere offer of assistance to people they really don’t give a crap about. This results in the creation of a whole host of new fictionary words like: Jawonanysawses? Jalykadrink? Pastrywivat? Enthintweet? Pliskallmibakon<incomprehensibly babbled phone number>by. Wojjalyke? Kannagajennything? Crispynutsothersnaks? Galarge? And the eponymous kanelpyu… diagnosis is relatively straightforward as the [...]

Grumpy Drunks

Ok, you’ve got me, I put this in because of the 7 dwarves thing and can’t think of a gag… Grumpy drunks… they’re grumpy, don’t invite them to parties… Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to [...]

shaté (n.)

The end result of eating paté which has passed it’s sell by date. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon something good? Share it on [...]

Giggly Drunks

Prone to laughing at absolutely nothing until their eyes look just as red as . Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon something good? Share [...]

Sleepy Drunks

Very cute when they fall asleep, mildly annoying when they snore, yucky when they dribble in your crotch. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon [...]

Cuddly Drunks

Depending on your mood and their attractiveness they can be great fun or a total liability. If attractiveness is the deciding factor – have more punch! If your mood is the deciding facor and you are any of the other types – apart from – drink more punch! Highly likely to become with the rapidity [...]

Cucumber Trumpeting

The act of Cucumber Trumpeting involves hollowing out the fruit and, by adding the appropriate holes, playing it like a trumpet. Honestly this sounds more like a flute or penny whistle to me, but I just have to go with the reasearch and trumpeting appears, at present, to be the popular term for this activity. PS [...]

Blubby Drunks

Blubby Drunks careen around your party all evening crying and talking in that strange way where all the words run together until abruptly swinging into one of the other drunk types when they aren’t getting enough attention. Don’t let them near the punch – unless it’s our very own – because they’ll cry [...]

ANNY

Analyst Needs New Yacht – someone is padding the task with impressive presentations and protestations of complexity – do some more weeding. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this [...]

bialance (n.)

bialance (n) : A combination of bias and balance. A media technique which appears to add objectivity to an item but actually allows the creator to twist the result to their preferred outcome. Technique 1: Ask a person you disagree with to come onto the program to “express their viewpoint” or “set the record straight” then [...]

Insecurity

If you can give someone a false sense of security – can you give them a genuine sense of insecurity? Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg [...]

Wimborne (n.)

Wimborne (a.k.a Wimborne Pants): Originating near the Dorset/Somerset border this is a completely non-contact, defensive art practiced principally in public houses. Scenario: Having accidentally jostled a fellow customer you are confronted with a very irate “Oy mate! Did you spill my pint?“ Escape Phase 1: You turn 10 degrees towards the assailant, widen your eyes, opens your mouth [...]

Love Eggs

Well you have to don’t you – their just so damned versatile… scrambled, boiled, omeletted. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon something good? Share it [...]

Orangutang

An Orangutang is an strongly flavoured orange sweet which has been in your pocket without the wrapper for a minimum of one month (the duration of a UK Summer) picking up all the fluff. This results in a fluffy orange object which can still be absurdly appealing after a night of heavy drinking. Subscribe to the comments [...]

Dog Gin & Tonic

Dog Gin & Tonic That’s a finger bowl because of the starter you ordered you idiot… Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon something good? Share [...]

Bovril Punch

5 litres of boiling water 1 Jar of Bovril 1 litre of cheap Vodka PS If anyone out there is insane enough to actually make this thing, can you let me know if it’s any good? Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping [...]

Sangria

A wine punch popular in Spain and Portugal. When made for local people it contains: red wine, chopped or sliced fruit (often orange, apple, and/or peach; occasionally kiwi or banana), a sweetener such as honey or orange juice, a small amount of added brandy, triple sec, or other spirits. carbonated water When made for irritating British tourists the red wine, orange juice [...]

boozeburn (n.)

That unmistakable all year round ruddiness of the raging alcoholic. Subscribe to the comments for this post? Blog this on Blogger Share this on Facebook Share this on del.icio.us Post this to MySpace Tweet This! Post this to Posterous Ping this on Ping.fm Add this to Google Bookmarks Clip this to Evernote Share this on Tumblr Digg this! Stumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUpon Share this on [...]