WikiFictionary

Donkeymail (n. or vb.(tr))

Chasman — Sat, 19 May 2012 21:31:26 +0000

noun: A specialised sub-genre of blackmail where the blackmailer obtains or fakes pictures of the victim in compromising position with a donkey, pony or sheep. alt: a slightly slower, yet much more reliable form of message based communication.

Bullshit Bingo: Old People

Chasman — Fri, 18 May 2012 21:29:07 +0000

For rules of play and other versions click . You will notice there are fewer to choose from than the other versions making this the hardest version… I got you two for wash ‘n’ wear… I’ve bought you two hideous bath mats. Are you all alright? I want to talk about medical procedures and recent deaths. [...]

Bullshit Bingo: The Rules

Chasman — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:25:21 +0000

A simple game where you pick six items from the appropriate list then write them down, print them out. This forms your bullshit bingo card… During a TV or radio interview with a politician, a meeting or “core brief” at work or while talking to an elderly friend or relative tick the phrases off when [...]

Drunkenness (vb.(tr))

Chasman — Wed, 16 May 2012 21:15:02 +0000

There are five distinct kinds of drunk (click to see definitions): And before anyone else points it out I know there’s a Snow White gag here somewhere… it’ll come to me.

Corbettian (adj.)

RosieB — Tue, 15 May 2012 21:14:35 +0000

A tendency to tell a story with frequent, lengthy, self-imposed digressions, but always returning unerringly to the original topic.

Thai Food

Chasman — Mon, 14 May 2012 21:12:42 +0000

GAI GOR DON – a deep fried Mars bar accompanied by bagpipes and dancing. KAO PAD GUM – a delicious deep fried cow pat garnished with well chewed bubblegum (which should still be warm and moist). PED RON – Thai version of a Mexcican dish from the East end of London. LAB GAI YANG – [...]

FDS

RosieB — Sun, 13 May 2012 21:11:22 +0000

FDS – Fact Deletion Syndrome – The uncanny ability of a newspaper to delete all relevant information from a news story

Bumulet (n.)

RosieB — Sat, 12 May 2012 20:22:43 +0000

An elaborate protective pendant for your bottom.

Duck a la Range

Chasman — Fri, 11 May 2012 20:22:05 +0000

A popular British dish where Free Range (hence the name) duck is blown to shreds with a shotgun, threatened briefly with a candle then ruined with a sickly sweet orange treacle. Usually ordered with chips. Not to be confused with the classic French dish .

Bendidorm (n.)

RosieB — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:19:36 +0000

A dormitory full of inflatable bunk beds.

Somerset Thrush

RosieB — Wed, 09 May 2012 19:53:59 +0000

Arguably a very plain looking bird which more than makes up for its humdrum appearance with some spectacularly unusual behaviour. Drinking Habits: Fond of bird baths but only if filled with cider. Eating Habits: An exclusive diet of earthworms which it brings to the surface by headbutting the lawn – usually after drinking a [...]

Klingon Geese

RosieB — Tue, 08 May 2012 19:52:41 +0000

Sometimes you make things up and they actually turn out to be real, who’d a thunk it?

Computer (n.)

RosieB — Mon, 07 May 2012 19:44:57 +0000

A machine which vastly increases the speed at which you can make mistakes while exponentially increasing the trust you place in the erroneous answers it gives you.

bull bacon

Chasman — Sun, 06 May 2012 19:40:42 +0000

bull bacon (n.) This is a genuine excerpt of an overheard conversation at a barbecue: “Oooh is that bull bacon…” “Errr…no, just normal bacon. By the way, the other kind is called beef…” Well done Lisa Rowe!

NTBFW

Chasman — Thu, 03 May 2012 19:19:49 +0000

NTBFW (abbrev.) Not to be f****d with. A term which applies to anyone older than about 12 who hasn’t got over burning ants with a magnifying glass, shooting toy soldiers and model aircraft with an air rifle or pulling the legs off a spider, shouting orders at it and believing it doesn’t move because it’s [...]

Alcohove

Chasman — Wed, 02 May 2012 19:19:45 +0000

Alcohove (n.) An alcove with a drunk peeing in it…

Beanoitis

Chasman — Tue, 01 May 2012 19:15:15 +0000

Beanoitis (n.) A sudden propensity for using the word “cripes” accompanied by an uncontrollable urge to make a big heap of mashed potato with sausages sticking out of it. PS Those of you who, due to age or geography, have no idea what I’m talking about, may wish to go to Beano Town It’s genteel [...]

Sorry ’bout that…

Chasman — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 18:52:29 +0000

Aardvark Snurging

Chasman — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 18:18:37 +0000

The act of sniffing an aardvark’s bicycle saddle.

YHCA

Chasman — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 18:11:18 +0000

You Have Crap Analysts – do some weeding.

Units of Measure

Chasman — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 18:04:36 +0000

Timothy Clunge-Martle

Chasman — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:50:26 +0000

An explorer in the same vein as Indiana Jones… in high heels and a skirt. Born in 1831 in the village of in Somerset, to and Mary Myrtle Martle. He first came to public notice during the Great Gin Drought of the 1850s discovering a gin lake – complete with juniper bushes – in Guatemala. [...]

TFC

Chasman — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:50:20 +0000

Too F*****g Complicated – either reduce the scope (it’s the only thing you usually have any control over given finite people, money and time) or break it into smaller projects, appoint an extra team to address the interfaces between them.

struttenparker

Chasman — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 17:49:02 +0000

struttenparker adj.: Someone who revs their convertible sports car ostentatiously during a parking manoeuvre.

Senso Unico

Chasman — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:39:03 +0000

The Senso Unici (for there are two – one in Rome and one in Florence) are hidden art galleries behind hinged wine racks in the wine cellars of modest restaurants. Discovered by the famed explorer while looking for a bottle of Chianti that didn’t remove all the skin from the inside of his mouth. The [...]