Over the past several years, my paths have taken me to a place that has grown to be one of my favorite locations on the planet. In the city of Castelldefels, Spain, there is a restaurant that is more than a restaurant. It is a love letter to the broken and alone written in gazpacho, paella, and espresso.

This restaurant is called IMPERFECT. It’s a creative and warm environment that serves some of the best food and coffee you’ve ever tasted. It’s an amazing restaurant. But it is so much more than a restaurant.

Imperfect is a solidarity restaurant. That means everyone who visits for coffee or a meal pays what they can. Those who need something warm and dignified to eat but cannot pay enjoy their IMPERFECT meal free of charge. Those who can pay, do. Guests are even able to pay it forward with a little extra to enjoy coffee or a meal and the feeling of helping someone in need.

IMPERFECT began with a dream to create an inviting space where imperfect people could experience perfect love. I’ve been blessed to have a front row seat as the dream came to life. Now, IMPERFECT is a reality.

It is a never-ending fight to keep it a reality.

The heart behind IMPERFECT Restaurant is that everyone is broken, but through forgiveness and love everyone can be restored. The interior of IMPERFECT features reclaimed furniture. Church members salvaged and repaired each piece by hand to illustrate the truth that God restores broken lives.

Through blood, sweat, and tears, a small church keeps IMPERFECT open. This restaurant marries compassion and quality like nothing I’ve ever seen.

That’s why I’m doing something I almost never do. I’m repping IMPERFECT Restaurant this Christmas. Hard. This summer, we had the idea to create Christmas gifts to help raise funds and awareness for IMPERFECT. Now, they’re doing it. My heart is to see every gift they’ve made in the hands of someone who will love and care about their work as much as I do.

The IMPERFECT team has created a limited number of special hand-made Christmas gifts. Every person who donates $20 or more this month to keep IMPERFECT open will receive one of these gifts. It’s a great way to join the cause and feel part of the amazing work IMPERFECT is doing in their city.

I’m collecting the donations and shipping the orders from everyone in the States. I believe so strongly in IMPERFECT’s mission that I’m coving the shipping costs and the work to get the gifts into your hands. I’m also coordinating getting the funds into the right hands at IMPERFECT.

Donations are being collected via PayPal. On the giving page, you will see the donation to “Phosphorus Media Works.” That’s my business name. On the donation form, be sure to give your name, address, and the number of gifts you would like to have shipped to you. Be as generous as you can!

Ready to request your IMPERFECT gift? Click here

Click here to visit my explainer page about IMPERFECT and to see their story.

So, while we sit here and wait for people to check out our home listing, we’re jumping into the WildThoughts time machine.

Side note: If you or someone you know is looking for a nice little house in a growing area of McKinney? Take a gander here.

Here’s the house now:

Thanks to the magic of the WildThoughts time machine, we can travel back to August, 2012 as Lewis roams our first home for the first time.

Invisible Changes

Compare the photos and superficial changes are easy to spot. The trees are taller. And I didn’t kill them. So, that’s amazing. My dad helped install the floors several years ago and they still look great. New windows came a few years later. Sarah added her shabby style.

But, photographs can’t capture the more monumental changes – the changes to us as we’ve done life here. We still love Lewis, but he has been replaced as our most beloved creature by our two boys. There’ve been a couple of seminary degrees that shaped our hearts and challenged our minds. There have been the successes and failures of work and relationships. The late night coffee conversations. The dinner parties. The friendships. The frustrations and triumphs.

This house was not just a place to be. It was a place to become. I could not be more thankful for the grace given here. The grace to live, to grow, and to even learn how to keep plants alive. If anything, I’m learning that it’s people who make a place and not the other way around.

Boxes hold most of our belongings now. The rooms look a bit more empty. But, to me, this remains a full house.

That is why my season at Stonebriar Community Church is coming to an end.

The best kind of change is bittersweet. The pang of nostalgia mixes with the nervous jitter of anticipation. The road behind and the road ahead meet in a pregnant moment. That is the best kind of moment. For me, this is such a moment.

I have accepted a position with a growing church in Prescott, Arizona called Heights Church. I will be taking the role of Next Steps pastor.

Why the move? The Prescott area is “hometown” to both Sarah and me. We met there. Fell in love there. Our families are there.

It is also a place that very much needs to be loved and cared for. It wasn’t long ago that Barna described the Prescott area as one of the least churched cites in America.

Plus, at a mile high elevation in the pines, Prescott, Arizona ain’t half bad to look at!

The road ahead has me jittery with anticipation. Sarah and I have nothing but immense gratitude for the friendship, patience, kindness, and opportunities for learning and growth that have come from our season with you in Dallas.

We are forever grateful. Our lives are marked by our time with you. I hope you all can say the same.

Because of your love and friendship, this season of change is the best kind. Bittersweet.

Now, if you’re in the Dallas area, please come say goodbye at one of our Bye Bye BBQ meet ups.

Read here for more about our next adventure.

But the greatest joy has been getting to know the many people we now call friends – many who feel like family to us. We want to see you before we go!

Come for Bye Bye & BBQ

Think there’s a chance you won’t see the Wildmans before they leave town? Don’t risk it. Come eat brisket!

Come for fellowship and a farewell on April 25th or April 29th at Rudy’s BBQ in Frisco.

Help us say farewell to our beloved Texas friends as we prepare for our new season of life and ministry in Arizona. Come when you can, leave when you must! If you RSVP, we will save you a seat…but you’ll have to get your own meat!

Click here to RSVP to let us know you’re coming on Thursday, April 25th for dinner or on Sunday, April 28th for lunch.

Of course, we’d love to see you for coffee or dinner another time when you’re free, too. Bring moving boxes when you visit!

Here is a look inside the unfinished masterpiece through the eyes of a few of my friends.

Allow me to process with these seven responses to the Sutherland Springs shooting:

1. This shooting is nothing more or less than murder. Murder is wrong. It is an offense to our laws. It is an offense to laws of the Creator God who makes every human being unique and infinitely valuable.
2. My heart goes out to the grieving family, congregation, and friends of the victims in Sutherland Springs. I can’t stop seeing their pain-twisted faces illuminated by candlelight. Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
3. Don’t send thoughts or prayers to the victims. They are ok. They are in the eternal embrace of their Savior. Their deaths are tragic, but they are at rest and in peace. Pray, instead, for those left behind. Pray for the families, friends, and the community. Pray for those who live among us in such darkness and pain that their minds are susceptible to the notion that ending the lives of others can give meaning to theirs.
4. The day of the shooting was also the International Day for the Persecuted Church. Millions of Christians around the world suffer violence for no other reason than that they worship and serve Jesus. The kind of carnage we see on our screens, newspapers, and news feeds today happens every hour of every day but is unreported and invisible to us. Usually, persecution is distant. Today, it is all too near.
5. God allows believers to go through hardships and persecution so that others can see Christ displayed through them. Every follower of Jesus has been entrusted with the life-giving message that the only hope for our broken world is for individuals to be made new at the heart-level by the power of Jesus. We believers carry this message through life in our fragile bodies. Why? As Paul explains, “This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” How could this be the way to share the message? As if sensing our doubt, Paul continues: “Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you” (2 Corinthians 4:7,11–12 NLT). Our persistent hope in the face of hopeless situations, violence and injustices underscores the brevity of this life, the brokenness of this world, and the beauty of the eternal life that awaits all who trust in Jesus.
6. Fear and bitterness are not a long-term option for followers of Jesus. My emotions, right now, are a churning mix of anger, worry, and confusion. It’s only human to react this way. But, the work of God in my heart captures those thoughts and calms them.In the face of fear, I know that God is in control. In the face of anger, I remember the true nature of this conflict is spiritual. We have an enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. If he can twist and torment the souls of human beings to pull the trigger, he will. However, no matter how murderous, people are not our enemy. “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 NLT).Our implements of war don’t fire bullets. We do battle for the sake of our families and neighbors with truth, justice, the good news of peace, faith, a mind that knows Jesus is our only rescue, and a heart saturated in the promises of God in his Word.
7. I am praying non-stop for every believer connected to this tragic event at every level of community leadership that their words and actions will represent the God the shooting victims loved and worshiped.

In Charlottesville, we have a shameful snapshot of what happens when people begin to believe that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are up for grabs.

who decides our value and validity?

What we are seeing is what happens when we tamper with the foundations of our law and liberty. As a nation, we have never been completely Christian. That’s revisionist history. Some of our founding fathers were followers of Jesus. Some were deists. Others were rip-roaring moralists. However, our legal system was assembled with a set of basic assumptions that come from the Judeo-Christian tradition. For example, we all believe that it is good and desirable to seek “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” We have to look no further than our Declaration of Independence to see that “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” is something that our government should protect.

We also see that these “unalienable rights” — that means these are rights that cannot be taken from or separated from any human being — these rights are not granted by our government. They are protected by our government. Where do these rights come from? Every person is granted these rights by their Creator. That’s the foundational claim of the grand experiment of United States government — Creator God has given every person the right to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” simply by the act of creating him or her.

no creator…no holds barred

We have had a fun fifty-year foray into experimenting with this foundation. We’ve attempted to chip away at it and try other arrangements. Partly because this foundation has been misused and abused in blasphemous attempts to justify racism and sexism in the name of God. How utterly harmful those attempts have been. We’ve also wanted to free ourselves from the responsibilities and expectations that rest on our shoulders as individuals created by God. Because, if we are created by God, then we have some kind of relationship with God. That relationship grants us the privilege of life and liberty. That relationship also comes with the notion that we have been created for a purpose and we are obligated to find and fulfill that purpose.

Many of us don’t want to face that obligation. We don’t want the responsibility of a relationship with God. So we have fought and questioned the validity of it. We’ve looked for other answers to our origins. And we have attempted philosophical and biological contortions to deny the facts about us that we cannot choose — things like our gender, race, and family of origin. We’ve picked up an ideological bottle of Windex to erase God’s fingerprints from our identity. We don’t want a Creator. He asks too much of us.

We can attempt to free ourselves from our Creator. And, for a while, freedom from the obligation of a Creator feels like the liberty we crave. We can choose our backstory. We can choose our identity. We can choose our own purpose. Fulfill our own destiny.

We want freedom. And now, we’re getting it. All of it. See, while we free ourselves from the “archaic” obligations to our Creator in order to choose our own identity, we also erase the only real claim we’ve had for freedom in the first place. So, we’ve opened the door for the mob to decide who gets to pursue happiness, who gets to enjoy liberty, and — frankly — who gets to live.

This is not new. As a people, we’ve already been choosing who gets to live based on their value to us. Slavery was allowed to endure at the founding of this nation. And in 1973, we decided that unborn children are expendable in some cases. While we’ve all been flag-waving defenders of democracy in our front yards, in our backyards we’ve been running a small orwellian Animal Farm where: All men are equal, but some are more equal than others.

And now, those animals are coming home to roost and laying rotten eggs of hatred, violence, and racism in the house. We’ve tolerated ranking people based on their desirability and value for so long now that we are no longer able to see the division in anything other than political terms. We’ve sanitized the discussion into “democrats vs. republicans” rather than tackle the matter in terms of honesty, hypocrisy, love, and truth.

why can’t we all just get along?

But, we don’t need God in order to behave civilly toward each other, right? On paper, that’s true. Just like on paper Marxism is a workable system. But theory met facts on the streets of Charlottesville. And theory couldn’t stand to protect us. The fact is, we shouldn’t need the Creator to stand between us and mob rule. The fact is, people should just be nice and accommodate every other point of view. You’re right. They should. But they don’t and they won’t. Because people are self-serving and self-preserving to the core. Every honest student of history knows this. Greed, fear, and pride win the day….the year…the millennia.

Without the authority of the Creator God as our foundation for our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, our only law is the law of the jungle: survival of the fittest. The weak, the voiceless, the minority, the underfunded and unconnected will be consumed to insure the life, liberty, and happiness of the strong. This is our Creator-less reality. The cliched question, “Can’t we all just get along?” has an answer that’s 10,000 years and one word long: No. We can’t all just get along. Why? Because we all want what gives us our own happiness, liberty, and sustains our own life. Without the authority of our Creator, we’re all in a deadly struggle for our own turf. We are either image-bearers of God or destroyers of mankind.

And don’t make the mistake of assuming that what stands in the way of life and liberty is to remove a few bad apples from among us. There are always more bad apples. If the appalling transgressions of World War 2 — and the violent reaction of the world to them — didn’t put a permanent end to this madness, then no human effort can.

Without the Creator to give us our “unalienable rights” our government has no mandate to protect those rights. Our republic has no standard for the maintaining of those rights….and the mob with the loudest voice, the best funding, and the strongest weapons is allowed to define those rights. And that’s all fun and games until the most influential mob no longer has your back.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are up for grabs when we take them out of the Creator’s hands.

the path forward to life, liberty, and happiness

If you’re interested in being part of the solution to the racism, anger, and violence, here’s where to start:

• It’s time for us to accept that there are some things about us that we cannot choose or change. It’s time for us to accept that aspects of our identity like gender, race, and family of origin are the fingerprint of the Creator. Because, when we put ourselves as our own Creator, we have only ourselves to defend our rights. The only way to for us to maintain love and protection for those who are not like us is to place ourselves under the love and protection of the one who created us all in love and with purpose.
• As a culture, we need to decide where we draw the line at human value. We need to make a clear statement of which human lives are worth defending. To avoid hypocrisy, we need to embrace and defend the value of all human lives regardless of age, race, or gender.
• There is no defensible, biblical position for any form of racism or ranking of value of human lives. According to the Bible, every person is carefully formed by God from the moment of conception with a path and purpose for living. According to the Bible, every person bears the image of God. Every human life is sacred. For the alt-right racists among us, that means skin color is not a basis for ranking worth or deciding value. For the pro-life among us, that means you aren’t truly pro-life unless you go to bat for every human life, not just the unborn. If you claim to love unborn children, but have a problem with races other than your own, check yourself.
• The first amendment guarantees the right to free speech. It does not guarantee the right to free speech without opposition. It’s time to pull out our collective cultural keyboard and hit…. control ALT-right delete.

NOTE: It’s a few minutes before 6 am on Election Tuesday morning as I write this. I’m prepared to make a bold prediction on the results of today’s election. I’m setting the timer on this post so that it will launch at 6 pm CST. Let’s see if I get it right. No edits. No retakes. No back-peddling.

TUESDAY MORNING EDIT. Yep. I was right. No edits necessary.  No election result can change a single thing I’m about to say. That’s the beautiful thing about rock-solid truth. It stands unmoved in the low-visibility dust storm of human events and opinions.

So, back to my original questions: Do you know what time it is? And, do you know what to do about it?

do you know what time it is?

When I ask if you know the time, I’m not talking about the hour and the minute. I’m talking about the season. The era of US and world events in which we find ourselves.

I have witnessed a lot of worrisome behavior on the part of Christians during this contentious election process. The caustic rhetoric has done it’s intended job — to strip away our varnish of faith and civility and expose our frightened and angry core.

The candidates’ campaign teams have wanted to motivate us. Because frightened, angry people are motivated people. They have done their work with devastating skill: A candidate you hardly knew a few months ago has grown to become one of your primary ways of sizing up the intelligence and motives of your friends and family. This candidate may have even become a part of your identity in a way that makes God himself jealous. (I believe there is a commandment about this, but I digress.)

Believe it or not, I see an upside to the fear and anger this election has revealed. Really? Really. I think for perhaps the first time in my lifetime, we Christians know what time it is. We understand the season. We agree with the Bible’s assessment of our times: our times are dark and nearer the end than ever.

We want to do something about it.

When I encounter deep darkness around me, I often turn to a rousing passage in Romans to get me fired up. It’s my go-to pre-game speech:

“This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.” (Romans 13:11–14 NLT) [emphasis added]

It’s like the Apostle Paul is in the locker room pushing me around, chest-bumping, and helmet-slapping me. “It’s now or never! How bad do you want it? Strap the armor on! Let’s go to war! Let’s win this one for Jesus!” I’m ready to run onto the field, into the darkness, against overwhelming odds, and deliver a blow for God or die trying.

That’s how many of us have felt in the ramp-up to this election. Times are dark. This culture is running sideways and upside down. They are coming for us. The numbers and momentum are in the enemy’s favor. We must go to war for Jesus. It’s now or never. We must go to war.

To that assessment, I say, “Finally.” Welcome to reality. Welcome to a view of the world that’s a little less whimsical and a little more biblical. Some of us have seen the storm clouds gathering for decades. Glad you finally know what time it is.

Which leads me to my second question: Do you know what to do about it?

do you know what to do about it?

So, here’s my bold prediction on the results of today’s election: You will feel sick about it.

Late tonight, you will turn off the TV, finish purging your Facebook friends, and put down your phone. And you will feel like a little bit of innocence has been taken from you. You will feel like you need a shower.

Even if your person wins, you will come away realizing once again that this world is dark and we nearer than ever to the end. Your fear and anger will either drive you to burrow deep into the distractions of everyday life, or to lash out against “them” — whoever “they” are.

In the aftermath of this election — this national catharsis of fear and anger — the question is: What’s our course of action in light of the fact this world is dark and closer to the end than ever? What’s our battle plan? What’s our strategy for defeating this sickening darkness?

Believe it or not, this is one of those rare times when there is a clear-cut, universal, rock-solid, dirt-simple solution. And, it’s even in the Bible, so you know it’s good.

an urgent strategy

The strategy has been staring me in the face for years, but I missed in until just a few weeks ago. The answer is hidden right in that passage from Romans that has been my go-to pep talk to go to war against the darkness of our times. Look at it again. Look closely. It’s right here:

“This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.” (Romans 13:11 NLT) [emphasis added]

The answer is in the “this.” I feel the urgency. I hope you feel that urgency, too. We’ve GOT TO DO SOMETHING. TIME IS RUNNING OUT. WAKE UP. Ok. But, what do we do? What, in heaven’s name, is the thing that is “all the more urgent”? What is “this”?!?

The secret lies just a couple of verses above. This is going to be a bit shocking, so hang on. Are you ready to strap on your armor? Ready to go to war for Jesus with urgency and desperation against the deadly forces arrayed against our faith and our nation? Ok, then here’s the urgent plan that we must execute:

“Owe nothing to anyone—except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God’s law. For the commandments say, “You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet.” These—and other such commandments—are summed up in this one commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.

This is all the more urgent, for you know how late it is; time is running out. Wake up, for our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed.” (Romans 13:8–11 NLT)

Are you sick and tired or watching our nation crumble around us? Are you keyed up for a fight? Are you ready to storm the gates of hell, sword drawn to fight for all that is good, right, holy, and just? Good.

Love. Your. Neighbor. Bottom line. Love your neighbor.

the small answer to big problems

The answer to the big problems we face is surprisingly small. From God’s perspective, the way you choose to carry yourself among the people you encounter everyday could not be more important. This is everything. And, “this is all the more urgent” considering the time. We are deep into the night. It’s late. It’s time to wake up, to strap on the armor of light, and carry the presence of Jesus into our immediate circle.

This flips the script. Instead of framing the people around us — the other party, the other group, the other side — as the enemy we must see that in God’s battle plan we’re actually fighting for those people against an insidious spiritual enemy.

This is also a deep source of hope. Just when we begin to think that “little ol’ me” can’t possibly matter in the struggle, we learn that God’s plan for addressing the darkness of our world has involved the little people all along. That’s the strategy. That’s the urgent plan: We see and address the joys, sorrows, pains, and pleasures of the people in the place where we stand right now.

This is our protest. This our sugar in the gas tank of a corrupt system. This is our stick in the spokes of a wheel rolling downhill to destruction. This is our resistance. This is our bold act of defiance.

This is our deeply drawn furrow in the sand. This is where we stubbornly resist until the sunrise.

Love. Your. Neighbor.

the one remaining question

We know what time it is. We know what to do about it. There’s only one remaining question: Do we have the faith and courage to execute the plan?

Let’s direct the fear and anger exposed in this election to it’s proper, spiritual targets. Let’s abandon the nagging sins that have us running a low-grade spiritual fever. Let’s get focused and go to war.

Love. Your. Neighbor.

Here’s how I wiggled into and back out of that hundred-dollar Uber mistake — and a few other lessons I learned as an Uber n00b.

The Cab Cartel

I was on a turn-around trip to Chicago Wednesday for an afternoon meeting. Flew out of DFW at 6:30a. Flew back just after midnight. My game plan was to land at O’Hare and score a cab to the meeting location. Then, if I had some extra time, maybe I’d grab another cab and wander down to the lake shore for a few hours then catch my flight back to big D.

I rolled up to the taxi stand O’Hare. It was a muggy morning — in more ways than one. The August morning weather was humid. Also, I was about to experience a near robbery. I had done my research and knew that the cab fare to the Chicago suburb I needed to reach should cost about $45-50. When I informed the taxi maitre d of my destination, he laughed. “These are city taxis. If they leave the city limits, they’ll charge you double time. It will be at least $120.” One way? One way. It was my turn to laugh.

The taxi stand man stepped around the corner of his booth. “I know a guy.” He pulled up a number on his phone. “It’s ringing.” He hands me the phone. I’m pretty sure we’re skirting some rules at this point. But, anything to save a few bucks.

Long story short, a Middle Eastern man in a black suv picks me up about 100 yards from the taxi stand. The taxi maitre d pretends not to see as I slip into the back seat. At this point, I’m guessing there’s about a 20% chance I’m in chapter one of an international spy thriller novel — the chapter where the sympathetic but stupid murder victim makes a fateful decision that puts him in the middle of a plot that’s far larger and more sinister than he could imagine. The bad news is that my body will wash up on the shores of Lake Michigan tomorrow morning. The good news is that Jack Ryan will be the one to discover my corpse and he will disrupt the global terrorist network’s plot before it’s too late. You’re welcome, America.

Well, turns out that I did not get murdered. But, I did get robbed. The fee for this 40 minute ride from the airport? $89. Ridiculous. But, in the process I did discover:

Uber Lesson One: Most people are not murderers. They are normal, hardworking people trying to make a living. In this world of fear and hyper-cynicism, I forget that.

But still, there’s no way in the world I’m going through that taxi / limo robbery scenario again.

Chicago skyline from Grant Park

Uber. Cheaper.

So, when my meeting ends and I’m ready to go downtown to check out the sights, I do what all the cool kids are doing and download the uber app. And, I’m shocked. My John Grisham inspired ride from the airport to this hotel in the western ‘burbs cost me $89. Uber says it can take me all the way back past O’Hare to the Field Museum on Lakeshore for… $43. And the car can be there in 2 minutes.

My first instinct is that this low price is somehow a trap. But, I’m trying to be a little less cynical (see lesson one). With a few taps, the car is on it’s way. I see the driver’s name and picture and the car’s license plate number. A late model Honda pulls up and checks out. In about 2 minutes, I’m in my first Uber.

We glide down the freeway as I calmly search the back seat for signs of criminal intent. It’s clean. Then, I slip into my trademark interview mode with driver Jose and pepper him with questions about my first Uber ride.

O: How long have you been driving?
J: “About 6 months. I’m leasing this car and trying to pay for it with rides.”

O: Why Uber?
J: “We men have our pride,” he says. “I got tired of asking my wife for cigarette money.”

O: What do you consider a successful week of Uber driving?
J: “We’re from the Philippines,” Jose says. “I drove big trucks with cargo for 5 years to pay my wife’s way through nursing school. Now, she works and I’m at home. I get bored and I want to buy stuff.” “Like cigarettes?” I chuckle. “Cigarettes…beer…maybe a new TV. But I don’t like stress. I only drive a couple of days a week. When I feel calm. I want to stay calm and get out of the house.”

O: Any lessons learned as a driver you’d pass along to other drivers?
J: “I learned this hauling for the fashion industry in LA — always carry snacks. You never know how bad traffic will be.” He pops the glovebox open to reveal his stash. “You want a cracker? They’re from the Philippines. They are amazing.”

(TLDR: My driver is nice, gives me some Uber tips, and offers me a pack of Pilipino crackers.)

I take the pack of SkyFlakes crackers he hands me. Minutes later, we arrive at the Field Museum and he drops me at the door. No money changes hands. The Uber app charges my card automatically when the ride is over. Clean and classy.

Uber Lesson Two: Unlike the Cab Cartel, Uber is straight forward, you know the cost ahead of time, and the pick-up and drop-off system is infinitely more human and convenient than going by cab.

Uber’s Secret Dark Side: The Surge

I do my thing in Chicago for a few hours. Then, a storm starts to roll in across the lake. The light’s perfect. I snap a few photos. Fat drops of rain slam into me. I pull on my rain jacket and scramble down Michigan Ave. where I take refuge in a coffee shop as the rain drops turn into slanted sheets of water rippling down the windows.

It’s all good. I’m feeling confident. Uber confident. I’ll pop open the app, dial up a ride, and get back to the airport with time to spare.

I pinpoint my location in the Uber app. I type in the O’Hare airport address and wait with soggy smugness as Uber calculates the fare…….. $158. Say what? I check again. Yup. Just hours ago, I took an Uber for twice the distance than I want to go now. That ride cost me $43. Now, I want to go half that distance. And Uber is quoting me a price 4 times higher. And my blood pressure goes 4 times higher. I quickly imagine several ways I can explain to Sarah why I spent $200 on cab fare for one day in Chicago. Every way results in an ER visit. Uber, what’s the deal?!

Turns out I’m a victim of something Uber calls “surge pricing.” Apparently, when Obama authorized the Surge in Afghanistan in 2009, there was something in the fine print that allowed Uber to jack up their rates in areas and times of day that are in high demand.

What that means for me is: 1. I have 2 hours to get to the airport. 2. It’s pouring rain. 3. And I’m beginning to wonder if Uber a double agent of the Cab Cartel. They’re shaking me down for an extra $100. What to do?

I begin scouring the web to research this surge pricing model and how to work around it. Here’s what I learn:

1. Uber surge pricing is only for limited times when demand increases. They say their motive is to lure more drivers into these temporarily lucrative areas.
2. Uber divides the cities where they operate into smaller geographical areas. Surge pricing is only applied to these smaller areas, not to the city as a whole.
3. According to driver forums, many Uber drivers don’t like surge pricing either. It often slows business because no one in their right mind pays $158 for a ride to the airport. Drivers will actually leave the area under surge pricing and head for nearby areas with less expensive fares.
4. You can use your feet to beat surge pricing. Use your Uber app map to see where drivers are clustering up for a clue where lower fares can be had. Or, you can download one of a handful of free apps that will show you the shortest route out of the surge affected area where you’re standing. (I used this one.)

And that’s just what I do. Thanks to the app, I see that if I walk about a mile south, I’ll cross out of the Uber surge zone. Sure enough, I see about 4 Uber cars on the map in that general area. So, off I go.

It’s about a 10 minute walk in the rain, but the further I get away from my first location, the lower the Uber fare becomes. Soon, I’m standing on a street corner in a random neighborhood across the street from a small college and Uber says they can give me a lift to O’Hare for $52. I’ll take it.

Uber Lesson 3: If you’re a Uber noober, be prepared for Uber surge pricing. When Uber tries to take you for a surge fueled ride, let your feet do the talking.

Surge pricing isn’t the end of the world for short rides, but getting slapped for 4x the normal fare on a 30 mile ride is no bueno.

Thankfully, I was picked up by a fascinating guy. An immigrant from Guatemala who is so proud that his son is going to college. As it turns out, it’s the college where I was just picked up. He has helped his son with his homework every night since first grade. He learned so much with his son that my driver decided to take his GED at the same time his son was graduating high school. So, they both got their diplomas this spring together.

Which brings me back to:

Uber Lesson One: Most people are not murderers. They are normal, hardworking people trying to make a living. In this world of fear and hyper-cynicism, I forget that.

The price I pay for a clear conscience.

Feel the Frenzy? Take a Breath.

Anyway, with the concerning barrage of news and options about the COVID-19 outbreak swirling on our screens and phones right now, I feel like I need to offer a look behind the curtain and into the minds of newsmakers and marketers in order to help us all to catch our collective breath.

COVID-19 is a real thing. It is a legitimate concern. It is wise to stay informed and be prepared. However, it is easy upshift from precaution and preparation to wide-open panic. You need to be aware that what you watch and read today can push in your emotional clutch and send your fears into high gear.

I want you to understand how that dynamic works and what you can do keep your mind and heart navigating the curves of our uncertain road at a safe speed.

Odds are, you have spent your life passively consuming news and little time considering the fact that what you see on your favorite news channel and your social media feeds are not pure, simple facts. The content delivered to the screens around you is a carefully curated collection of stories that are crafted and delivered to you with specific goals in mind. If you don’t know these goals and make yourself aware of them as you scroll through twitter and Facebook and flip through the channels on TV, then you are susceptible to being swept along in the current of the 24-hour news cycle.

(As a side note to all my media and marketing friends, I’m not throwing shade on the profession. I think it’s honest work. Like running a carnival game. Everyone knows the milk bottles are weighted so that you can’t knock them all down, but people pay money to try anyway. Media and marketing is a fair game as long as the masses understand that it’s rigged. If they want to play all night and empty their pockets for a giant stuffed panda bear, that’s their business.)

Why Does Tragic News Go Viral?

My decade-long pursuit of crafting stories for the purpose of manipulating people into parting with their time and money for things they don’t care about or need has left me with some perspective. And boy do we need some perspective right now.

I’m going to offer three reasons why tragedy goes viral and why you need to resist the urge to immerse yourself in it.

But first, let me set up these ideas a bit getting down to the basics. The bottom line is that you are being influenced by the words and images you look at everyday on your feeds, timelines, and TV in ways you don’t even realize.

Now, I’m not talking about some global conspiracy or a sinister plot by the illuminati to take over the world through the media. Global domination is not the goal. Yes, there are movers and shakers in powerful places who plan and scheme what we see and hear. But, these are not clandestine fraternal orders. These are business people. They want something much more personal and lucrative than a new world order — they want your eyeballs. They’ll do just about anything to get them. And, as cynical as it sounds to say it, there’s nothing like a good, gory tragedy to deliver your eyeballs to them on a silver platter.

One Story to Rule Them All

When it comes to the news, it’s all about stories. Who did what? Where? When did it happen? Why? How? These questions are the scaffold on which stores hang. But, more important than any single news story is the one story that interprets all the other stories — your story. Your personal narrative. As twitter, Facebook, and broadcast media feed you stories about events going on in the world, they are also subtly and powerfully shaping your story like a slow drip in a cave builds a stalactite.

See, we each have a story we tell ourselves about the world — our personal narrative. Our personal narrative is a construct of our culture, experiences, beliefs, and emotions. This story exists mostly beneath the surface of our everyday thoughts, but it is immensely powerful because our narrative tells us the genre of story we believe we are in. It’s part of why some of us believe we can do anything we put our minds to while others of us feel like life sweeps us along and we have no control over where the current takes us. It’s why some of us are confident and others are fearful. It’s why some of us are suspicious of new ideas and others are exhilarated by them.

Mind & Heart On a Movie Date

Let me explain it this way. Deep down in our subconscious, our mind and heart are on a date at the movies. They are munching on popcorn and watching everything you see, hear, do, and feel unfold on the big screen. They are trying to figure out what kind movie this is. A romance? An action movie? A horror film? Every moment they watch, they’re making a guess on the genre of your story based on what they’ve already seen, what they’re seeing at the moment, and what they anticipate will happen next.

It’s as if they’re in the theatre yelling at each other. Heart says, “See? See that scary guy? I’m telling you, this movie is about to get crazy!” While Mind says, “Yeah, but we’ve gotten out of tough scrapes before, it’s an adventure story and the hero in adventure stories never die. We’ve got this!” Then Heart might reply, “You’re right. We’re ok.” It’s an on-going fluid review of your story.

What kind of story your mind and heart think you’re in deeply influences you. It’s a phenomenon called Narrative Confirmation Bias: In simple terms it means that we each notice and hold on to events that support what we think our personal story is about and ignore and reject events that contradict our story.

A Movie That Writes Itself

The interesting thing about this movie is that what your heart and mind are currently guessing about the plot actually has an influence on how the story will unfold by influencing your future actions and emotions. The phenomenon of Narrative Confirmation Bias doesn’t change reality, but it changes our perception of reality. When it comes to our minds and hearts, what we believe is happening is a powerful force. Not only does what we believe about ourselves and the world shape how we act, it also shapes our personal narrative. Soon, we develop a cycle of thinking — a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy where what we think will happen to us kind of comes true. Again, not because our thoughts shape reality, but because our perception of reality shapes how we respond to it.

There are some real positives to this subconscious cinema-for-two. For example, we can pick up confidence to tackle new problems because we remember having success with a similar problem in the past. And, if our story includes examples of God’s grace and provision in difficult times, then when hard times happen again, our heart and mind will expect God to be a strong recurring character in the plot.

But, there are some real downsides, too. When our story features repeated emotions triggered by exposure to tragedy, our heart and mind expect us to experience more tragedy in the future. Soon, we see and feel fear, sadness, and anger in a self-perpetuating cycle. The inner dialog we have can go something like this:

“I have my suspicions that this world is a scary, dangerous place. See? The news is on and there is another tragic event happening in the world. I’m right. Better head to twitter and #prayforXYZ. Wow. So many people on twitter are panicking. Look at all the retweets this tragedy is getting. This many people can’t be wrong. The world is a scary place. I need to turn on my news notifications so I can get up-to-the-minute info to confirm my fears. CNN says that terrorist attacks can happen anywhere at any time. I’m in a place and time, so I must be in danger.

“Yup. Look, my friends are all talking about the death of another 1980s celebrity. I knew it! Everyone is dying! This world is so unstable. Uh oh… the presidential candidate I hate is having a rally. Look at all the people who agree with them. They will ruin the world even more. I’m so afraid of what will happen if they get elected. The world is already so dark and dangerous. Since the world is a scary place, I need to take steps to attack the people who are my enemies and protect myself. Just look at this video on Facebook — people are using Pokemon Go to murder people. Anything can be used to murder people these days. I bet there are people on my street who want to murder me. I better lock the doors and not talk to anyone. It’s ok, I have the TV and internet to keep me company and help me stay informed.

“Oh look…another terrorist attack…”

Narrative Confirmation Bias

Narrative Confirmation Bias. It’s how we’re wired. Media and marketers knows this and they use it to their advantage. Once you are convinced that the world is a fast-paced, conflict-driven, dangerous place and you feel the compulsion to stay informed they have you hooked. You keep watching. You keep scrolling and clicking. You keep coming back for more. A small part of you hopes that if you check again, your feed will give you something heartwarming or funny (thus, the cat video was born). But, for the most part, we’re checking back to make sure that our version of the story — our personal narrative — is still correct.

Problem is, down deep in the part of us that we can’t rationally control, we WANT our personal narrative to be correct. Being right about the world brings us subconscious comfort. When we start thinking the world is a tragic, dangerous place, in a twisted way, we actually want what happens to confirm what we believe about the world around us. So, we start to look for evidence that supports our view. When we find evidence that supports our view, we share it. Add to that media and marketing’s goal to keep your eyeballs on their content by filling your life with more stuff you want to see and before you know it, your world is a dark, tragic, dangerous, murderous place. They feed us the negative news, we crave it, we share it. Before we know it, everywhere we go online is filled with tragic stories about a world going haywire. And, we feel strangely good about that. Not because we want people to suffer, but because we want to be right.

There’s a term for this condition. It’s called Mean World Syndrome. It’s a scientifically demonstrated fact that the more media a person consumes, the more likely they are to overestimate the amount of violence there is in the world.

See, the facts are that that the world is actually less violent and dangerous than it was 50 years ago. Don’t get me wrong. We’ve got problems. Big problems. But, despite what we’re hearing from world news, we are actually less likely to experience violence against us or people that we know than any time in my lifetime. Despite what you’re seeing on your social media timelines, the odds of you or someone you love dying from a viral outbreak are low. Surprised? That’s because cable TV news and Facebook won’t make money if your anger and fear aren’t driving you to tune in or click on their content. You’ll almost never see a headline on buzzfeed that says: “10 reasons the world is nicer, calmer, and safer that we all think.” No one clicks stuff like that. It doesn’t generate add revenue.

Don’t misread this as an attempt to shame you for being afraid, to minimize the value of caution, or dismiss your emotions. How you feel is real. Just keep in mind that cascading fear stacked on top of fear can be fueled by what you read and watch. And what you read and watch is crafted for the purpose of enticing you to keep reading and keep watching.

Do you find yourself in the emotional state where you are always waiting for the other shoe to fall? When you see news of a distant tragedy is your first thought, “here we go again, I knew it?” Then it’s time for you to detox from the news a bit. These are sure signs that you are being influenced in unhealthy ways by the words and images you look at everyday on your feeds, timelines, and TV and you don’t even realize it.

3 Reasons Why We’re Seeing More Bad News Than Ever

So, the question is why? Since the real world is not nearly as dangerous and deadly as it appears to be on broadcast news and social media, why is everywhere we look filled tragic news stories? Here are three reasons:

1. Tragic and shocking stories drive ratings and snag viewers

Media providers thrive on presenting conflict. They need advertising dollars to stay in businesses. They get advertising dollars by getting our eyeballs on their content. They get our eyeballs on their content by telling stories about conflict. Nation vs. Nation. Idea vs. Idea. Your naive sense of general well-being vs. the latest threat to what you hold dear.

Next time you see or read the news, look for the language they use to ramp up the conflict and hook you in. Conflict is how they create a sense of urgency (see below) to get you to read, watch, and click. The most skillful news tellers are able to connect a distant tragedy with your deepest, personal fears. That’s “compelling journalism.” In other words, the best news makers are able to convey to you notion that what is happening now conflicts with and threatens the health, happiness, and safety of what you hold dear. Why? Because when you’re afraid, you care. When you care, you watch. When you watch, they win. After all, it’s called the “news.” The “olds” — all the the time-tested, stable, usual, ordinary people and events that make up most of our lives — doesn’t catch your eyeballs.

2. Tragedy inspires a sense of urgency and motivates action

Tragic news is so emotionally powerful that demands attention. Urgency also drives us to take action. Urgency and legitimizes the efforts of those who promise to speak out and work against the perceived threats. So, leaders of organizations and governments of all shapes and sizes peddle tragedy as a magic motivator. If they can tap into our “fight or flight” instincts then they can then suggest their agenda as the necessary steps for survival.

When you give the people you’re talking to a sense of urgency, it’s much easier to ask them to make a personal sacrifice to support your cause. To generate urgency, media and marketers will post and broadcast tragedy as confirmation for why they are important, and why you need to support their agenda with your attention and money. This is one reason why you need to collect your information from a wide variety of sources. Your favorite niche news outlet is likely selecting and slanting their coverage of events to support their cause or worldview.

We live in a noisy, cluttered, world where everyone’s attention is fractured by phones, kids, work, relationships, and a dozen different screens demanding our attention. Organizations leverage tragedy to cut through that clutter and motivate you to listen to their message and give them something you hold dear.

3. We crave tragic stories

Sounds crazy, right? No one wants to hear bad news, right? Sadly, we do.

We know junk food isn’t good for us, but we eat it anyway. What does that say about us? Despite what we tell ourselves, we are not, at our core, rational creatures. We crave unhealthy stuff. It’s true for our physical diets. It’s true for our emotional diets, too.

We are beings that long to ride the waves of emotion. Emotion unlocks chemical responses in our brains that sharpen our senses, motivate our actions, and fuel our relationships. We’re addicted to those chemicals. We’ll do anything to get a fresh hit. Best case scenario, we’ll have pleasant experiences in our lives that we can rely on to give us the emotional bump we subconsciously long to enjoy.

But, life is hard and we are too lazy to invest in the kinds of decisions and relationships that result in our long-term happiness. The good things in life are complicated. They require attention and nuance to understand. So, starved for emotional calories, we prefer to not fiddle with preparing a healthy emotional salad of good news and hope from the garden that is sprinkled with bits of bad news like crumbles of bleu cheese. Instead, we’d rather hit the drive-thru and feed on quick and easy emotions like fear and anger. Why? Because it’s easy. Sure, fear and anger make you feel bad, but at least you feel something.

There are hundreds of stories everyday of people doing good, things going right, human triumphs, and victories for the good guys. There are a handful of stories about tragic events. The good news sinks and the tragedy goes viral. Why? Tragedy confirms our personal narrative that the world is bad. It also slakes our craving for emotion and brings us all together. We feel a morbid sense of unity with our friends as we all grouse about how bad the world is together. Like rounding up all your college buddies for a midnight run through an emotional Taco Bell.

Are You Hooked on Tragedy?

How do you know if the tragedy manipulation efforts of media and marketing have their hooks in your brain?

The symptoms are pretty clear: You feel intense emotions about a news event that you have no personal connection with, those emotions subside quickly and don’t result in any action on your part other than #prayforXYZ. Or, if a real potential danger is a slim possibility, you binge watch the news and buy out everything your local grocery store has to sell.

See, what our broken world needs is sustained, meaningful compassion to address real problems. Your despair and desperate tweets aren’t helping anyone.

I know the emotions you feel are real. But, if your only response is to stay glued to your preferred sources of news and commentary for more confirmation that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, then you are just hooked on the quick emotional hit of tragedy. And, media and marketers have your eyeballs. You feel something and they get ad dollars. The plan is at work.

Don’t like the direction things are headed in this world? Put your phone in your pocket and go talk to someone. Learn about their life and their story. Band together with others and solve the very real problems that are within your reach.

Why You Need to Stop Feeding On Tragic News

Don’t get me wrong. The heartbreaking events happening in our world are very real. Those effected need our prayers and empathy. Sometimes, tragic events hit close to home, too. When ugly things happen to the people we know and love, it is appropriate to respond with feelings of fear and anger. But, more often that not, these events are not happening to you and the people you love. So, if the emotions you feel in response to a tragic event in a distant part of the globe equals the same response you would feel for a deep personal loss, then you might be suffering from the subtle effects of tragedy overload. You may be hooked on the self-fulfilling prophecy that this world is a dangerous, tragic place.

If that’s the case, you need a little media detox. Do the thing media and marketers fear most — unplug and tune out. Gorging on tragedy is not good for you.

How do you stop the cycle?

Step one: Take a break from the screens. This countermeasure for our frantic, fearful, angry outlook is simple to say and very, very hard to do — step away.

Watching the 24-hour news channels and scrolling for hours through Facebook and twitter is like buying a ticket to a haunted house thrill ride. Everything is staged in such a way to create uncertainty and fear. The more you watch, click, scroll, and immerse yourself into the artificially dark and dangerous world of media and marketing the more you believe the haunted house is an accurate representation of the real world. Step away. Put the phone down. Go outside. Have coffee with friends. Volunteer. Talk to your neighbors and family. Read a good book.

When you turn on the lights, haunted house doesn’t look so scary.

Take a break from Facebook, twitter, instagram, and TV. Start with one day. Then, go for a week. You’ll be surprised at how pressing pause on your media consumption will start to alter your personal narrative — the story of how you see yourself and the world around you — in a very healthy way.

Step two: Ask a deep question: Who do you allow into your mind and heart to shape your story? What you believe about God, yourself, and your place in this world are the key to how you see your life and how you respond to it. Maybe you don’t need to spend hours every day scrolling through the echo chamber of curated bad news. Maybe you need to turn off the TV so you can hear the still, small voice.

This idea isn’t new to me. “The heart is the well-spring of life.” And, “As a person thinks in his heart, so is he.” What you believe about your story doesn’t change reality, but it shapes what you choose to see and how you choose to act. Your heart and mind are so valuable and impressionable. Your heart and mind experience everything you see, hear and feel with great force. They are being influenced by the words and images you look at everyday on your feeds, timelines, and TV and you don’t even realize it. Be careful what you see. Be careful what you share. Make sure what you see and share reflect the complex ups and downs of life. Make sure they reflect the nuance of the situation – including the fact that God is loving, compassionate, powerful, and in control.  Serve up a healthy emotional meal to your own mind and heart as well as to the people who read your feed.

Who’s Writing Your Story?

Most importantly, let your personal narrative be influenced by the greatest Story. The Story that moves and shapes all others. The Story of God’s love.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:6–8 NLT)

Your heart and mind are down there in the movie theatre of your subconscious, watching your life unfold and making decisions about how you will respond to what you see. Let God’s peace into the theatre and give him a front-row seat. Let him guard your heart and mind. If you have Jesus, then your story is not a dark, dangerous, horror film where you are at the mercy of crazed lunatics hell-bent on your demise. You know how your story ends. So, look up. Stop stressing. Start reaching out into a world where some people do live in a very dark story. If you believe you are in a story of adventure and redemption, you’ll begin to see that story confirmed in dozens of ways every day.

Then, you’ll be emotionally free to think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Your personal narrative will involve you in the middle of a story of God love, faithfulness, and redemption. And, you be more ready ready to respond when things go wrong in your part of the world with strength, truth, compassion, and grace.

Deeper Than Bullets, Bombs & Bugs

Why am I spending time on this topic with you? Because I want you to stop spinning your wheels on tragic events that are outliers and invest yourself in problems you can actually help address in the real world. We need you out here in the real world.

Our problems run deeper than bullets, bombs, and viral bugs. We have serious spiritual, social and economic challenges that are literally ripping our families and communities apart at the seams. It’s happening all around the world. But, as long as we think the most urgent threats are “out there somewhere” toting guns and wearing explosive vests we will waste our time and energy on things we can’t fix. Our own neighborhoods and cities will continue to deteriorate if we remain hooked on the emotional high of unfocused fear and anger. And, this fear and anger will continue to drive us to do the exact opposite of what we need to be doing.

When our personal narrative tells us that we are in a dangerous world, then we build walls to keep others out. When we step away from the tragedy hype, then we can have the peace we need to be part of The Story of grace and truth. Only then can we build bridges instead of walls. Only then can we be free to reach out to the hurting people around us with love and compassion.