When you read articles like this one about a collapsed teenager who received no help from hundreds of people who walked past, do you suppose this is an indication of today’s society in general? Or is there a reason people don’t like to help out?

This isn’t the first article I’ve read of this nature, but it’s always a little intriguing – what makes someone walk past another person without checking that they’re ok?

“The young university student, who did not want to be identified, collapsed to the pavement outside a crowded Perth department store as she was walking to the train station, but received no offers of help from the hundreds of people who walked past. ”
 
“The young woman was described by her family yesterday as slightly built, well-dressed and kind.”

It’s difficult not to notice someone collapsed on the ground – I wonder what goes through people’s heads? Is it judgmental thoughts, like “those teenagers and their drugs – serves em right!” Or maybe “they’ve obviously had too much to drink last night!”

Possibly it’s thoughts of worry or fear, uncertainty of how to help – “I’ll just pretend I didn’t see THAT!”

credit: nyki_m

Honestly I would have thought that most people would help someone else out (particularly in Australia where this happened, where there’s a huge culture of mateship), however this doesn’t seem to be the case in reality. Maybe when it comes down to the crunch, most people avoid getting involved for some reason or other.

I wonder if rather than fear of the situation, it’s more of a selfish act:
“No time to stop! I’m in a hurry to get somewhere. Sorry, can’t really get tangled up with giving statements or wasting my precious time.”

Could we give the benefit of the doubt and say it has more to do with lack of first-aid knowledge? Hardly….

The school chaplain in the article feels it may be a combination of things, stating:

“It was disturbing that anyone would be treated so callously, but a combination of fear and selfishness would have kept people away. ”
 
“My fear (if we don’t change) is that we will become more anxious and more fearful as a society. Then we’ll have to say to ourselves, that if everyone thinks the way I do, if something happens to me, if I have an asthma attack or if I faint or something else awful happens, no one is going to come to my aid either.”

Why are we so worried about helping someone out? Perhaps our good intentions don’t amount to much when we’re actually put in that situation. Would you stop to help someone who’s collapsed? Would it make a difference if they were elderly? Younger? A tramp? Think about it…

Related posts:

1. Stepping outside your comfort zone
2. Dealing with regret
3. Giving and receiving: a new approach

When someone dies does it change how we feel about them?

Do the things that bug us and irritate us about other people always seem insignificant after they are gone?

I was reminded of this thought when reading Lisa Marie Presley’s blog article on Michael Jackson’s death. Lisa says:

After the Divorce, I spent a few years obsessing about him and what I could have done different, in regret.
 
Then I spent some angry years at the whole situation.
 
At some point, I truly became Indifferent, until now.
 
As I sit here overwhelmed with sadness, reflection and confusion… I am truly, truly gutted. Any ill experience or words I have felt towards him in the past has just died inside of me along with him.

This makes me wonder – why do we tend to drop negative thoughts after someone has died? Is it out of respect that we remember the good things about a person? Or is it that we feel stupid for making a big deal out of insignificant things?

Perhaps our intentions are good in retrospect, eg. “I wish they could come back so I can just apologise for acting so stupid”. If we could actually do this however, reverse time and do things differently, I suspect that pretty soon we would find the same things just as irritating to us…

Here’s a thought – how about when we deal with living people? When getting angry at someone, would it make a difference if we knew the person was not going to be around much longer?

When we truly reflect on ourselves, are we really being honest when we say “I would do things so much differently, if only….”

Related posts:

1. Change your stress levels
2. Why change my attitude?
3. Finding the will to change your life

Ever feel like your energy and drive in life is filled with peaks and troughs? This week has been rather turbulent for me with a few different ups and downs. Some song lyrics by the amazing Dave Matthews reminded me simply about something we forget from time to time: having passion in life.

Passion has so many dynamics and can be applied to so many things, with each one often overlapping and spreading to others. The joy and love for life that accompanies passion makes me wonder – why is it that we lose this drive sometimes?

For me, approaching life with fun, zest, passion and love is so fundamental to being happy! Although passion often refers to the smashing together of lips in the frenzied passion of lovers, this same passion and drive can be applied to so many other areas of our lives.

 
Why not be more passionate in our approach to work? To food? To money and finance? How about our fitness? Being passionate in our relationships certainly heightens our appreciation for living. Having more passion can help us appreciate our senses, our bodies, our lives a whole lot more. It can help us have a greater appreciation of our role in the world, recognising where we fit in.

So why is it that we fail sometimes?

I believe it has a lot to do with living in the minute rather than having that broader vision of life. Worrying about things that are of immediate importance to us takes away our passion, our energy. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be concerned by the here and now, just not to let it take over your life, and certainly not your love for life! Don’t lose sight of the bigger picture, I guess you could say.

Help! I want my passion back!

To be honest I think the answer to maintaining a passionate life is similar in some ways to the reason why a lot of people go to church every week. You don’t need to go to church to be a Christian, but there’s a lot to be said for being reminded regularly about certain topics, and hanging with like-minded people.

In the same way, to approach life passionately and retain that zeal, drive and focus, we need to be reminded regularly about it’s benefits and importance, make a decision to live our lives with passion, and listen to like-minded people (both in real life and in the form of books, movies, web sites etc).

What do you think?

Related posts:

1. Get excited about life!
2. Are you ready for big changes in your life?
3. Love Life: just a slogan?

The best seller “Think and Grow Rich” has been around for a looooong time. In fact, it was first published in 1937!

I finally bit the bullet and read think and grow rich for the first time just a few months ago. Everywhere I turned I seemed to hear about this book! It features time and time again as one of the highest regarded books on finance, money and personal growth on many websites, reviews and testimonies I’ve read.

The book itself sums up it’s contents well, describing how Napoleon Hill developed a simple but powerful 13-step formula to help you to:

• identify your goals
• master the secret of true and lasting success
• obtain whatever you want in life
• join the ranks of the super-successful

Sounds pretty exciting, right? I mean, are these things that you would want to happen in your own life? You’d think these claims were quite wild and unachievable, however Napoleon puts things into perspective in very real terms and backs his statements up with research, analogies and real-life examples.

There are many great chapters in this book, and it’s a book I’ve found myself going back to and re-reading. This is quite unusual for me – I don’t often find myself doing this with many other books in the same genre.

Here’s what Napoleon has to say on opportunity:

If you just skimmed over those quotes, do yourself a favour and go back and read them again, slower this time! Words of wisdom lie within….

NB – If you’ve not read the book before, it can be found all over the place in online PDF format, click here for the free version.
- If you’re like me however and a PDF just doesn’t quite cut it, let me highly advise you to spend a few bucks and grab the actual book from Amazon.

Question: Are you taking advantage of opportunity?

Related posts:

1. Make money doing what you love
2. Richard Branson: Secrets of a global icon
3. Are you ready for big changes in your life?

I’ve often thought of integrity in fairly broad terms.
“Doing what is right” for instance, or “having high moral standards”. On reflection, I guess it is and it isn’t.

Let me ask you this – is integrity important in your life?

How high does it rank?

When you think of the concept of integrity, do you think it has more to do with being true to your word? Or is it more about having high personal standards regardless of what other people see or hear you do?

“Integrity may be seen as the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one’s actions.”

~ Wikipedia

Integrity is an interesting concept. When I think of my own life, I’d like to think that I live a life of integrity. But I know that I don’t hit the mark 100% of the time.

An article featured on the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy page elaborates a little on the complexity of integrity as a concept, saying:

Integrity is one of the most important and oft-cited of virtue terms. It is also perhaps the most puzzling.
 
For example, while it is sometimes used virtually synonymously with ‘moral,’ we also at times distinguish acting morally from acting with integrity. Persons of integrity may in fact act immorally—though they would usually not know they are acting immorally.
 
Thus one may acknowledge a person to have integrity even though that person may hold importantly mistaken moral views.

So what is integrity, really?

Is it important, or even necessary? And if so, why??

While integrity can be distinguished from morality as seen in the quote above, I’d like to think that at the very least, integrity and morality go hand in hand.

What is integrity?

Integrity by definition is:

The quality or state of being of sound moral principle; uprightness, honesty, and sincerity

~ YourDictionary

1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness
- synonyms see honesty

~ Merriam-Webster

Integrity means walking the talk when it comes to living one’s true values – being authentic.

~ Peter Vajda

So really, it’s about being honest… upright… sincere in our intentions, and maintaining firm adherence to our values and beliefs. Staying incorruptible, sound, complete and honest. Walking the talk, practicing what you preach…. Phew! Sounds tough!

credit: JustinLowery.com

Why should we bother living a life of integrity?

So what’s the point anyway? I mean, isn’t it enough to have good values – most people don’t steal from other people after all… Most people have fairly good intentions, don’t they?

For me personally, I guess I have to break up the concept of integrity up a little – consider what things I’m doing right in life, think about what I’m doing wrong and and then make the decision to work harder on some areas.

Let me give you a snippet of a self-assessment tool from Peter Vajda, titled The importance of integrity to leadership:

1. On an integrity scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high), how would you rate yourself when it comes to the following workplace behaviors:
   (a) gossiping
   (b) bullying
   (c) viewing or downloading porn
   (d) stealing physical materials
   (e) stealing intellectual property
   (f) stealing time
   (g) telling the truth
   (h) taking responsibility for your piece of your team’s projects
   (i) making excuses
   (j) being direct, open and honest in your communications
   (k) respecting others
   (l) living your values
   (m) keeping an honest set of books and following appropriate accounting principles.

 

2. Who or what stops you from acting with integrity?
3. When you’re not acting with integrity, what kind of self-talk do you engage in?
4. Do you lie to yourself about acting with integrity? If so, why?
5. Does it matter to you that you are not acting with integrity?
6. Do you use the same definition to define integrity for yourself as for others? If not, why not?
7. Do you respond if others act without integrity and their actions directly affect you?
8. Do you ever excuse, justify or rationalize acting without integrity? If so, when and why?

How did you go? A little sobering?

How do we life a life of integrity?

So, if living a life of integrity is something you might be interested in, how do we go about it?

The Abundance Company makes the following interesting suggestions:

• A person lacking self-esteem, friendships, and financial stability, has a higher than normal likelihood of acting without integrity.
• A person with high self-esteem, a strong support system and a balanced life will most likely act with integrity.

 

Therefore it stands to reason that we need to regularly remind ourselves of:

• what our values are,
• what is important to us, and
• what kind of life we want to live

In order to act with integrity in our lives, we also need to ensure we have high levels of self-esteem, have strong support systems and live a balanced life.

Bob Czimbal and Michele Brooks elaborate on some Signs of Integrity as follows:

• Be open to feedback
• Accept personal responsibility
• Balance one’s needs with the needs of others
• Practice understanding and compassion
• Seek the advice of others
• Be respectful of views that are different
• Act with integrity even when it is inconvenient
• Keep agreements
• Know the difference between humor and hostility.

Let me close with some interesting thoughts from Chris Hidalgo from Definition of Integrity:

• Integrity is a skill which can be practiced and improved over time
• Integrity can help define you by acting as a binder that keeps your words, thoughts and your actions honest, worthy and admirable
• The guideline or benchmark of integrity means acting with truth and honesty in all thoughts, decisions, actions and reactions
• Just as a house can be rebuilt, you can also rebuild the foundations of integrity in your life if you fall away from it’s blessings
• Leaving the past behind, picking up the pieces and moving on is critical.

* What do you think – does integrity count for anything?

Related posts:

1. Do you practice what you preach?
2. Energy and cutting corners
3. Do opinions of people change after they die?

Recently I was contacted by Kelly Sonora from Select Courses who published an article containing 100 links on self-improvement and lifehacking. She says in introduction:

These days, it’s hard to get motivated enough for anything. The economy is down, your savings – if you had any to start with – have probably dwindled, and it’s still easy to get depressed about the housing market, the environment, foreign policy, and even the possibility of sending your kids to college.
 
But that’s exactly why we need inspiration and mood boosters at any cost. Luckily for you, these are free.

Certainly it seems she is correct in summing up the mood of many people at the moment. It’s difficult to get excited and passionate about things when other things are looming over your head, particularly when you introduce money (or the lack thereof) into the equation.

In saying this, I’m still a big believer in the concept that we are what we make of ourselves. If we don’t like our current situation, we can work hard to change things up, make things better. This might mean enduring blood, sweat and tears while we try, try and try new things, and require some thinking outside the box, but at the end of the day life really is what you make of it.

I just caught the end of a TV show when flicking the other night so am unable to credit the source, but a documentary was playing where an elderly guy was giving some advice to what I assume were his grown up sons.

He said something to the effect of:

“The earlier you focus on something that’s meaningful and fulfilling to you, the sooner you’ll become a happier individual”.

I love this statement, and what’s great about it is that this concept transcends our current worries or predicaments. Whatever situation we are in now, the sooner we change our focus on things that are meaningful and fulfilling to us, the sooner our mood (and therefore our levels of satisfaction, happiness) will improve.

As I eluded to in this article it often takes time sticking with things to see measurable results, but certainly the earlier you make a start the better.

Related posts:

1. Why change my attitude?
2. Finding the will to change your life
3. Do opinions of people change after they die?

I was inspired this week by Paul Piotrowski’s e-book article on exponential growth as it relates to not only elements of nature and cell growth, or business and finances, but also things like the power of exponential growth in effort and results, motivation and returns, and a whole host of other real world applications.

From the e-book “Mastering The Most Powerful Force In The Universe”:

The study of success is a multi-billion dollar business. Self help books, courses, coaching programs, home study courses, websites and hundreds of other resources have been created to help us study success so that we may experience it in our lives.
 

However, there is a slight problem with all this wonderful self-help “stuff”. The problem is that IT doesn’t work, unless YOU work IT. I would venture a guess that 95% of the programs out there would work to achieve the results we want, but 95% of us don’t work the programs long enough to get the results. The problem is not the programs. The problem is our philosophy in life.
 

We are masters at ignoring the little things. We hate the words “long term”. All we want is the quick fix, the quick pill, the dramatic success story that happens right now. Get rich quick. Make money fast. Lose weight now – 40 pounds in 40 days!
 

We are surrounded by a culture built on this whole concept of the quick fix. We are mesmerized by movies and stories of instant success. How many movies have we seen where an athlete decides to go for gold and the movie breaks into a 2 minute montage of him working out and getting into the shape of his life and then we watch him go for gold!
 

This is great, however, in real life we don’t get into top physical shape in 2 minutes. It can take months or years.
 

Does this mean that we have to take a slow, boring, conservative route to success? No, it’s not about that. It’s all about understanding how exponential growth affects your life.

It got me thinking about sticking with things, dedication and the like. I’ve always been pretty consistent with jobs, a fairly stable long-term employee if you will… But I have also found myself jumping from one new idea to the next in other areas of my life particularly when I’m bored or uninspired.

One of the key points I took away from the article is that this tendency to give up on things in life is really because we’re not seeing the results we want or expect within an initial time frame. Whether this is a few days, several weeks, months or whatever – the point is that often the first 80% of effort will often produce little result. It’s what we do after this point that really counts. Sticking with things potentially allows us to tap into massive powers of exponential growth, available to us in a whole host of areas in life.

I also think there’s a lot to be said for starting things now, today rather than regretting never starting them earlier, or lamenting the time already lost…

** Just as an added disclaimer, I have no affiliation with Paul’s site Inspired Moneymaker – but check it out sometime, he has some interesting thoughts and ideas. The e-book is available for RSS subscribers.

Related posts:

1. The tragedy of amazing success
2. Q&A with Leo Babauta of Zen Habits: Success
3. Richard Branson: Secrets of a global icon

 
I’ve always been interested in the meanings behind song lyrics. Songs that make you think, or songs that tell a story as they unfold seem to be a lot more interesting than those that are highly repetitive or have fairly shallow lyrics.

One song in particular that has always made me stop and reflect on things is Belief by John Mayer. The version I’ve embedded below (in case you haven’t heard it) is kind of an extended instrumentally version.

 
This song’s lyrics make me think about what I personally believe on a whole range of issues but puts things in perspective with the rest of the world. I think I’m right about what I believe. What about you? Well, when it comes down to it, we all think we’re right in what we believe, don’t we?

Something else it makes me reflect on is the way in which we as individuals and in groups impose our beliefs on others. If we want to stand up for our beliefs or impress our beliefs on others there are ways to go about it, yet so many times we seem to get this wrong.

Belief is a powerful thing.

 
A snipped version of the lyrics look kinda like this:

Is there anyone who ever remembers
changing their mind from the paint on a sign?,
is there anyone who really recalls
ever breaking rank at all
for something someone yelled real loud one time?
 
oh, everyone believes
in how they think it oughta be
oh, everyone believes
and they’re not going easily
 
we’re never gonna win the world
we’re never gonna stop the war
we’re never gonna beat this
if belief is what we’re fighting for
 
what puts a hundred thousand children in the sand?
belief can, belief can
what puts a folded flag inside his mother’s hand?
belief can, belief can

Related posts:

1. So you’ve heard it all before? Part 2: Confidence
2. On religion and man-made belief: “my last prayer”
3. How to be a (healthy) skeptic

I’ve always liked Richard Branson, for a variety of reasons. Part of this is because he has been remarkably successful in most of his ventures, and is an entrepreneur at heart. I also like his philosophies and business models, the way he places great value on people and building networks of like-minded individuals. He is an adventurer, a traveler, someone who appreciates life and lives it to the fullest.

I think most of all however I appreciate his personality and character. Obviously I don’t know him personally, but by watching him in his Rebel Billionaire series and reading several of his books, I get the gist of what kind of guy he is. The Virgin brand appeals to me, too – it’s quirky and fun, and doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Virgin seems to stir up a bit of controversy at times, such as with it’s 80’s retro Virgin Atlantic video shown below. I have to admit I laughed my head off at the World’s Best Airline Complaint Letter which was sent to Virgin, and smiled at Richard’s response.

Setting aside the playfulness of the brand and all of Richard Branson’s boyish larrikinism, you have to admit that even if his character or business practices don’t appeal to you, the level of success he has achieved makes you sit up and take notice. When Richard takes a moment to offer some advice, it’s probably in our best interest to at least listen to what he has to say!

Lessons in Life

A great little quick reference book I have is titled Screw it, Let’s Do it: Lessons in Life. If you haven’t read it, let me encourage you to do so – it’s one of those books that is both inspiring and encouraging, and you can easily (as I do) refer back to various chapters when you need a bit of advice on something.

I wanted to give you a snippet of some of the great suggestions found in this book, check it out:

“I don’t deny that I have done well and had success. It has even been said that I turn what I touch into gold. People ask me what my secret is. How do I make money? What they really want to know is – how can they make money? Everyone wants to be a millionaire.
 
I always tell them the same thing. I have no secret. There are no rules to follow in business. I just work hard and, as I always have done, believe I can do it. Most of all, though, I try to have fun.”

• Here are some of the truths Richard has learned along the way:

“My motto is, ‘Never do anything if it means you can’t sleep at night.’ It’s a good rule to follow.”

• Have fun, work hard and money will come
• Don’t waste time – grab your chances
• Have a positive outlook on life
• Chase your dreams but live in the real world
• Have no regrets
• Keep your word
• Make a difference and help others

Sure it’s great to have a list of ideals, such as the one above, but what’s great about Richard is that he expands on each of these with real world examples and tips, making them not only great words to live by, but ones we can actually apply to our own lives.

Related posts:

1. A route to success with massive potential
2. Opportunity
3. The tragedy of amazing success

 
Is it just me or does the daily news seem to be grim these days?  There are so many sad things that happen in the world. While I’ve never wanted my kids to be overly sheltered or have a false sense of security, lately I’ve found it’s increasingly difficult to even listen to the news in the car or on TV and be comfortable with my girls listening in. Horrible news.

I’m not talking here about an avalanche or flood (although that can also be horrible news), I’m talking about stalkers. Child molesters. People who commit malicious acts which are premeditated and calculated. The only way I can describe it is evil. What on earth drives a father to throw a child from a bridge?

It’s got me thinking about the heart of life.

Are most people ‘good’ at their very core? Do people who hurt other people ever feel love? Joy? Emotion?

I’ve had some exposure to mental illness and drug/alcohol addicts, and have seen the complete lack of insight in their eyes. But what of those who are aware of what they are doing?

What is at our core?

I’d like to think that at the core of humanity is care and respect for other people. Yet the world may be changing. For instance, there were fights that happened when I was at school, but to video those fights with a phone, post them on myspace then belittle and mock the student to the point of suicide – this is something entirely new. What have we become!?

credit: Kevin Tiqui

Maybe it’s simply that there is more exposure to these acts, that we are becoming better at exposing people rather than sweeping things under a rug. Abuse in churches for example is particularly disturbing, and was formerly mostly covered up and not talked about.

On the flipside, it’s brought about a public paranoia that makes people feel awkward and embarrassed when they are taking photo’s of their own kids! A recent news article describes an amateur photographer who was thrown off the beach for taking photos of an adult volleyball game.

Let me hit you with some lyrics by John Mayer:

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

So my question: is the heart of life good? What do you think?

Has there been a shift in society?
Or is it just that our awareness, exposure and population has increased?

Related posts:

1. The fragility of life: a wake up call
2. Love Life: just a slogan?
3. Get excited about life!