WilloWishesLess

progress, real progress 15 may 2091

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 16 May 2019 20:01:00 +0000

I dont write often or at all. But for those who like an update.

Health:
no more diabetis
more mobile, less trouble with my knee (arthritis)
BMI
weight: 105,6 kg/ 16 st 9 lbs
weightloss since last post: 5 st

Life is different, eating is not a big pleasure any more, neither is it a constant millstone around my neck. A year after the operation life has come back to normal....a new normal, a good normal. a more active normal. biggest challenge, managing my bio energy.

I am back to a full weeks work
I work out 2 hours a week, excercises and swimming
I cycle to work and back; 40km a week

I wi

Still here.. really I am - 4 years an 9 month later

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Wed, 02 May 2018 16:25:00 +0000

Status: 139 kilo and 300 grams = 21 st. 13 lbs
As much as I weighed 10 years ago
Health: diabetis type II, high bloodpressure, arthrosis to the left knee

Hello all who read this. I am still here, And I can tell you despite the status you read above, I am doing well, feel very happy. My weight has been stable, kind of... some up and some down..but never any less than what I weigh today.

And so in december 2017 I decided to start a 5 year program to have a Gastric Bypass. I am close to the operationnow. I have yet to be informed about the exact operation date, but will be within now and 6 weeks. I am in an intese programme of dieticians, psychologists, physicians, suregeons and a personal trainer. Changing how I eat and think. And it makes a difference.

I intend to post more as I go along.

day at work.... challenge, what to do about lunch

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Mon, 05 Aug 2013 13:10:00 +0000

Lunch, healthy, fun, tasty and time consuming, it is always a challenge to me.

Either I think about it the day before, and prepare something, which takes effort and time, and I really don't always want to do that. (Intrinsically I am kind of lazy).

Or

I am smart and find some food items on the spot which tick all aforementioned boxes. Usually a sheer impossibillity. Today I decided to go for a salad at the office restaurant. And here is the result.

Fav beans (broad beans)
avacado pasta (not too much ofcourse)
Chives grated cheese (and again not too much)
boiled egg
tomato
Glass of water

AND, most importantly

a relaxing natter with a collegue/friend.

So it worked today!

For tomorrow I am preparing food today from the july/august WW-magazine (page 31): special fishfingers with chivesdip Yesterday by the way, I did not transgress as far as points go, but....well............erm........ I am not sure they were all healthy choices. Although I did have brown bread with cheese, boiled egg and mustard for dinner. I started out wrong with no breakfast. So that tells me, HAVE MY BREAKFAST. Or I start going wrong from the bat. Will work on the way this posts looks when I get home...promise.

week 1

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sun, 04 Aug 2013 21:11:00 +0000

A quick post, all is well. This week was hot, hard and interesting..... -grins-

Anyways, hot weather, hard work, and interesting with regards to my eating habits. When it gets to be as hot and humid as it was. Eating is not an easy feat. But I made it 6 out of 7 days.

Made sure I took in lots of fluid. And tried to keep to the shade when cycling to and from work. Friday promised to be hottest day of the year so far, so I took a day off, as I think most of the people I knew.

Saturday was much more cool, less humid. So time to do some work in my house, open all the windows, get in some fresh air. All in all a good week.

Weightloss: 2,5 kg - 5,5 lbs

Will post soon!

The Big Reboot - Happy Summer 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sun, 28 Jul 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Today I visited a Weight watchers gathering again (sunday 09:30), and had myself weighed. Pleasant coaches, small group). My weight was not as bad by a long shot as I expected. I expected to be back to 2007 starting weight and even beyond that. But it was a pleasant surprise. As If I had lost 14 kg in one go!

My reboot point weight (a term I borrowed from half man):

160. 3 kg (last weighed 2011-05-30) 343.4 lbs

And so I am on my way again...a little older, a little wiser, and definitely happier. I decided to take stock, reflect and look ahead, as shown below (the following text is not mine! I just copied and pasted it. Here is the link):

1) Carry out an inventory of what you already have in your life. Make a long list of all of the good things you have. As well as material possessions, your list should include the names of friends and family, and the talents and strengths that you have.

2) Look through your list, and be so very grateful for what you have. If you are grateful for the wonderful relationships with your friends and family, tell them. When looking through your list of talents and strengths, are you using these to benefit yourself and others? If not, write down ways in which you can utilise these to their full advantage.

3) Reflect on your life, and write down your major achievements. This is a wonderful way to boost your self-esteem and confidence in yourself. By writing your accomplishments down, you can then acknowledge and fully appreciate what you have done in your life. Congratulate yourself on these achievements.

4) Now that you have your list of what you have and what you have achieved, write down a list of things that you don't have and don't want in your life. This is probably a list that you have never, ever compiled before! Here, you should write down the things that you are grateful for not having in your life. Examples may be that you are grateful for not having a particular life threatening disease, or that you are not homeless.

My 5th personally added point, because I believe taking stock of your life means you also look forward.

5) Looking ahead; write down two major and five minor goals for the year, and beyond, ahead.

1. My life now, what do I have.
My friends Ali, Margreet, Fred, Janny, Pieter, Joke.

My (step)mother Riet
My will and ability to be a good friend to others
My even tempered happy disposition
My willpower to achieve things - long-lasting, seldom short bursts of it
My ambition to be as good a professional as I am, and even better

2. Tell those I love, value, care for that I DO!
Will do this is my "show I care week"

3. Reflection
Much better grip on my finances
Conscious choices about friendships, and how I add to them and what they add to me.

4a. What don't I have
Grip on my health, I never pay much attention to it.
Someone I trust enough to share my most vulnerable very special me with. Untill such time, I am doing fine!
4b. What do I not want
To be obese! I don't care being overweight, but there is a limit.
My business ambitions to take over my social life
Go a day without friends

5. looking ahead
Finances: remortgage my house, cheaper, wiser
Health: feel healthy, fit - be able to walk 30 minutes without pain
House: Get my brand new kitchen installed
WWW, 23 November: make a radio-play with friends (have the script already
Visit the beautician once every 6 weeks
---------------------------

WWW things to achieve this week

1. make my daily totals (which includes drink my water!)
2. measure my body
3. import may weekly food items into the assistant

Having said that it is interesting to know I recently read De voedselzandloper (Food Hourglass - unfortunately has not been translated in english yet) by Kris Verburgh. Top, eat less of, bottom eat more of)

As a result for a few months now I have implemented some changes in my food intake.I use a lot more soy and kefer products, and oat have replaced my daily intake of carbs.

Less milk products except yoghurt and curd
Less bread, pasta, potatoes, rice
Less sugar and artificial sugar
No prefab food

I am back, Happy summer all!

hey!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 22:27:00 +0000

What more can I say? I am still here, bigger and better than ever. And that means..... I am as I always was, horribly obese. But I am NOT downhearted, never that.

Tomorrow I will bite the bullet and have myself weighed. Will report back, I promise!

May 2 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Mon, 02 May 2011 17:45:00 +0000

Still here? Heck yes!

Though it feels like an engine attempting to kick start, coughing, huffing, puffing. Now granted, it never stalled. I promise, just a matter of motor running and going an unexpected way, disappearing from the radar, even my own radar. And wondering at times what the blue blazes am I doing here?

I don't and didn't know. What do I know now?

Feeling sorry for myself? Yes.
Feeling angry with myself? Yes.
Feeling disappointed with myself? Yes.
Looking for answers? Yes.
Given up? ALMOST, really ........almost. There have been times in the past weeks & months I wondered, why even try? Why not quit? Just dont pay attention to where am I going, what am I doing, just riding the wave?

But know what? That will not do. It means I accept that we are like a rubber dingy on the sea of life, a dingy without oars or paddles that is. And I know that is not true, is not me! Right at this moment I feel like I have found the paddles again. And even though I know there has been a time when I was not just using paddles, but had even crafted myself a strong sturdy out board motor and was going places, right now I am using paddles. And boy is it hard. Every single day I lose them, not just once but three or four times, and I take a deep breath and just try to cope with disappointing myself again.

On a lighter note:

I have this week off YAY, just to enjoy, to be me, and work on me. No miracles mind you. No kilos and ounces, just focussing. Additionally I have been giving this webpage a lot of thought. I am dutch based and this website is in english, do I really want that? Don't know yet.

Any how....I want to put a link here which is Dutch. It is a recipe, vegitarian, oriental. I have applied for the free digital recipe book "Milk & Honey". I might make this one day soon. If any one is interested, I will translate the recipe once I have it, or order it yourself: Melk & Honing gratis receptenboek

Spinach an treacle with a deep fried egg and potato cream

What is in store for today, well what is left of the day?

Well food this morning, and for lunch is shambles, I admit it. But for diner I will have rice, with stirfried mushrooms, prawns and crab meat, and a glass of cold water.

Tomorrow, I will get up and after morning tea and some breakfast, I will head for the gym, and enjoy some work out with a good friend. I am aiming for a work out every day, however short. will report if it works out.

Have a great monday!

April 1

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 06:14:00 +0000

Yesterday: I started out fine, counting points and all. had yoghurt during the morning and for lunch, some cookies for in between, but not much. Had smoothie which gave me a lot of fruit.

evening is what I woud call dodgy had a premade pasta dish where you just add hot water wait thill the pasta and herbs soak well, and just eat. had some prawn crisps with that. point wise...... no idea.

But I have a start....of sorts

March 31st - 157,5 - 347.2

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 05:58:00 +0000

March 31st - 157,5 - 347.2

A few words, strange how easy it looks and yet how hard it is. Because it spells the simple truth. I have lost ground, so much ground that I find it hard to stand. But it is there in digital print, I have gained weight, have been struggling for a year now.

But the process did not stop. Why? I was asked the question, if you let go now..... then what. And I did not know an answer. Or at last not an answer I liked. SO I go on.

Last two weeks I lost 2.8 kg - 6.1 lbs.
My goal is to reach 150 kg - 330.6 lbs
Timeline: None
Method: live sanely, soundly, healthy, and BLOG

I have been thinking about just usuing my old blogs where I used to print out all I would eat in a day

This is my entry for June 5 2007 (old system of weight watchers) - I will not follow it to the letter, but will use it as a reminder. I invite you to come back, and take a peak at it again. It reninded me of the smoothies I used to have! This morning I will run past the shops and get fruit and yoghurt.

Smoothies
0,0 points
-------------------------------------
0,0 p - 3 dl. dubbelfris light
0,0 p - 50 gr. raspberries
0,0 p - 50 gr. strawberries

Breakfast
5,5 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 p - 2 slices rye bread
1,0 p - 20 gram salami (WW)
2,0 p - 20 gr. goatscheese
0,5 p - 15 gr. linera margerine 25%

Lunch
4,0 points
-------------------------------------
2,0 p - 2 slices rye bread
3,0 p - 3 cs margarine
0,0 p - 200 gr. mushrooms
0,0 p - 2 tomatoes/lettuce

Diner
7,0 points
-------------------------------------
Large green salad
5,0 p - 60 gr. goatscheese
1,0 p - 50 gr. boiled potatoes
1,0 p - 1 cs yoghonaise

Diversen
4,0 points
-------------------------------------
4,0 p - 4 chocolate truffels
0,0 p - 0,5 l. Coca Cola zero
-------------------------------------
6 glazen water, 3 vetables - 2 fruit, 2 fat, 2 calcium
-------------------------------------

Giving up...

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:26:00 +0000

I am so close to giving up..in fact have I not given up already? I have gained a lot of weight, and am struggling to even see the road. There are however some small anchors still keeping me semi grounded to the cause. What makes me sad most of all, is not the gained weight, let's face it I am used to it. But moreso the fact that I really believed I could change my life, my ways, only to learn that I may be able to it, but have in fact NOT.

The small anchors- both positive and negative?

still going to weight watchers. Not every week, but I am still going.
friends who keep being in terested
remembering how good it felt to lug around less weight
having thrown away all clothes way too big for me, noticing the clothes I have now are ill fitting, and in fact some do not fit anymore!
being healthy is important to me.
Looking "fat" again, and I do not want that!
still working out, less but still 4-5 times a week

Yesterday I went to weight watchers for the first time in 4 weeks . I had LOST 0.5 lb. Not much at all, but the important fact was I HAD lost weight,and had not been to a weigh in for 4 weeks; because believe me I can gain 15 lbs in such a period, and have in fact done so.

SO, in short I am on the cross road.....to keep going and view this as a learbing curve, or just stop and work to accept the fact that I am a product of my childhood and past, and cannot change.

This is in fact a cry for help........

Motivation and discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:22:00 +0000

Lost........and having trouble finding it again.

I feel like a person lost in a strange land. I am in that place where I feel ike I am blind, quite alone and dismal. I am on a little by road which is hard to traverse, uneven, muddy and wholly unpleasant to be on. So from time to time I rush into the many places alongside it which offer consollation for the weary traveller, and buy masses of comfort food. Which I find I try to eat all at once, in that moment finding solace. Only to feel worse once I have eaten the lot.

I have not blogged in a while, and what I had dreaded, the end of the year blues, slump, detour, horror, has indeed happened to me. I am struggling to get out again. I have gained so much weight again that it is ridiculous. I now weigh 146.3 kg/322.6 lbs

For weeks I have been avoiding the numbers. Seeing them printed is not a good thing, but at least gives me a place to start again. Having said that, I still am 25.9kg/57 lb less than I was when I started in may 2007. This blog post is a way to rearrange my thoughts, get past this feeling of being a total failure, and accept that I am just human and not some kind of "weight"machine, faulty or non faulty.

A way to set out the parameters again, to regain my drive, my will power, my UMPF!

1.   Go to the gym every morning -a total of 5 times minimum-
- go in the morning, or else my work will make it impossible to go, afternoons just don't work out -
  - at least twice power training, twice cardio training, all else is optional.
2.   eat healthy
3.   drink 2 liters of water a day, eat fruit
4.   write down all points, active points
5.   cut down on sugary stuff.
6.   get at least 6 hrs of sleep, 8 is better (weekend are good to get 8 hrs of sleep)
7. do my shopping in time, so I never have an excuse to stray
8. plan my meals for the day
9. when at home cook every evening

BUT MOST OF ALL:

10. be positive, be positive, be positive, be positive
This monring I have slept 6 hrs, just finished my porridge, worth 8 points, have water beside me, and finished two satsuma's munching on an apple.

I was reading my last post before this one. The lat lines and thatb was some 4 months ago were : I AM SO incredibly, unbelievably, undeniably HAPPY. Does that mean I am unhappy now. No, it does not. My job is going well, my friends, my family all is going well. Let;s just say I am disatisfied, slightly disappointed, and find it hard to call out for help. In these momenst I find I cannot reach out and accept help. SO once again I make it hard on myself and force myself to do it all alone.

Weird, isn't it. Well, it is not completely true, I did share all of this with one person. Tears, self incriminations. I talked about it with best friends, my WW coach, and decided posting here is step one. From ther on off it will be all uphill and going strong again.

I CAN

I WILL

I WANT TO

962 WW & 506 FF - Let us snow, let it snow, let it snow!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 19:43:00 +0000

It has been 49 days ago......ergo, I blog very infrequent. I am aware of it. And yet in my lif nowadays I blog when I feel like it, when I need to, when I wish to share something. It is still part of my routine to reach a healthier weight, but moreso than that it starts to be a way of telling you about my life. Because every single day it amazes me how it changes, has changed.

For instance thursday last. I had a day off. SO I left at 9 AM for the gym. Did one hour of swimming, which included 16 laps of breast crawl, with no stopping in between, just turning. I have been building up stamina to do so gradually. 2 months ago I only did breast stroke, then I started to alternate. And have been building it up ever since. The result is that I can do 16 laps of breast crawl within the fat burning zone. My heart beat is around 117 bpm. And afterwards I am nice and tired, but not too beat to cyccle home for 30 minutes. 2.5 years ago walking for 20 minutes was so tiring I had to rest afterwards.

Granted, walking still is not my favorite excercise, I like cycling better. But I have started to walk on the tredmill for 30 minutes or so about 3 times a week, so I am working on that as well. Am now up to 3.5 miles an hour, sometimes with am maximum incline. I sneak in a 60 to 90 second jog now and then, eventhough my personal trainer says I should not. My knees will suffer if I do it too much. Still too much weight on them. Next year when the weight is down even more I wish to have this talk out with her again, as I really would like to jog, or try to jog.

I was reminising, thinking about what was, what has changed, but additionally also where I want to go. I am as of today officially midway.

Goals:

Weigh less than 130 kg/286.6 lbs by christmas 2009
That means that I have to shed 6.4 lbs since my last weigh in on 16th december! A challenge, especially in this christmas season. But I won't back away from this challenge.
Make it below 40 BMI
As of last week I have a BMI of 39.7. I am now no longer Morbidly obese! That is a BIG milestone for me. -grins- Pardon the pun! I lost 12 BMI points.

Bench mark 4. 277.7 lbs - 126.0 kg
No time set then, but now I will! January 31st 2010

Yesterday I was also informed that my security screening for my new job has been cleared. Good news! After 2 months I can honestly say, it is hard work, but challenging, and very interesting to see politics and the way a country is governed this close up. It has been the reason I have been blogging less and less. I will try and blog more frequent. I expect as days, weeks, months pass it will be easier to juggle all balls I am trying to keep up in the air more easily: work, fitness, social enjoyment/obligations, blogging, roleplay and sleep. The past two months I noticed some have been suffering, especially sleep, blogging and even my fitness routine...........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

I best blog this now. I am at a friends place, getting stuck in the middle of my country, with no plausible way to get home. There is a HUGE blizzard which has been raging the country for a day and a half now. Will blog again soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

PS: it is now monday evening 9 PM, after 5 hours of travelling I made it home. Thank God. But I do believe that the window of opportunity to travel home was a small one.; fortunately I made it. My own luscious warm home feels so good. A very special thanks to MARK, my saviour, my wonderful friend who offered me a place to stay when I thought I had no place to go but sleep on a cold drafty rail way station along with hundreds of other people. Instead I slept in a warm bed, feeling safe and secure.

Me in the snow

Just before my attempt today to get home!

Boy, was I glad I decided to put on boots and socks, I NEVER wear socks,

when I travelled to a friend on Saturday!

My feet are still defrosting as I write......

------- * * * * -------

Impressions of a snow covered Netherlands

public transport came to an all out grinding halt on sunday 20th,

and most of monday 21st

trains could not go because of frozen tracks

Trams had trouble with the snow drifts and snow covered tracks

The roads were impossible to travel for anyone with half a intelligent mind,

it was too dangerous

And cycling was...........hazardous to say the least

The famous Kinderdijk, covered in snow

904 WW & 464 FF - Happy, just happy

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:10:00 +0000

Something to share....

This morning I went to fitness, did my usual, an hour of good clean work out, Nothing too strenuous, nothing too special. I worked up some decent sweat, sat in the steamroom, always a treat to my skin. Then showering, using my usual body oils, perfume, little make up, dressed casual, a jeans skirt, white t-shirt, tartan print tennis shoes. I took care of some small things afterwards, which meant I had to cycle to some places. Autumn was all around me, her cold crisp golden colored promises heavy in the air. Now and then a droplet of forboding rain grazed my face. I cycled home, the whole proces took about three hours in total, I left at 9 AM, and came home some time after midday.

As I was close to my home, listening to celtic music on my MP3 player, it suddenly hit me like a tidal wave, strong, vibrant, like vivid colors all round me, in me, with me, causing my skin tingle, my face supporting a the smile bright, brilliant, a smile I could not stop, it had to escape, show itself, fed by my heart, my soul. There, then, with the wind in my face, my feet and legs working to take me home, moving the pedals of my bicycle, for no special reason, not one special reason, I was happier than I have ever been in my life.

I marked the time on my watch: at 12.38, November 1, 2009 I realised I was truly a happy, healthy, fortunate woman. And as I felt that way I extended that feeling, and as I did I realised that within the cosmos there is this small speck of a sphere which we call Earth, enveloped in a layer of gasses, which we call air. On it there is an abundance of creatures, both flaura and fauna, which try to co exist, and one of the species is mankind, and one of that species is me. And I was, am truly, deeply, unrefutebly HAPPY.

And so this blog is not just, or only about losing weight. It is about me, my journey to grow, and excell, to be more, better, stronger than I was. And the miracle is, that I AM. And that I am the one doing it, I am the one facilitating my own happiness. My choices, my efforts, my emotions.

I AM SO incredibly, unbelievably, undeniably HAPPY

885 WW & 435 FF - A weekend without..........

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 09:06:00 +0000

Saturday 3rd October, a day without going to the gym! Yes, they DO exist! And I feel just a smidge guilty. I spent some quality time talking to a friend on the phone, and then just......decided not to go. I have a dinner guest this afternoon. Still have to pick the menu, and clean up my house just a tad. It is not that bad.

Main focus will be shopping and cooking. Oh yes, and putting light bulbs in the lighting of my room. ALL are broken, and so no electric light. Not that I use much of it anyways. I just adore candles (puts them on my list).

This weekend will be a slow all about me weekend. The week has been hectic, manic, and fantastic. New job, lots of people I talked to. Planned a short trip to Ireland, where I will meet my brother and his wife, a very dear friend and some one I know on line, and we will have coffee and meet face to face. That will be nice.

I try to do that more and more; change on line contacts/friends into full fledged contacts and friends. It is a great pleasure usually. Been trying to find an old friend who I used to know when she lived in Amsterdam. So if any one know Gini Visser, by all means contact me! Been trying to find the lady for some years now.

OK, what else.............? Well, nothing really. Oh yes, will have to buy a card for my weightwatchers coach and my nephew. The first has a neck hernia, the second a birthday (adds that to the list as well)

Sunday 4th October, ANOTHER day without gym? HELP! -grins- I am doing just grand, though I celebrated my new job with white port, chocolate and some male attention (....... *fill in the dots yourself*). I saw my guest off at a little after Mid day and then went floating with a friend.

Floating, to just float, seemingly weightless in salt water basin of your own; a small cabin where the temperature is equal to your body temp, there is no light, and far as possible, no sound. Just your own heart beat and breathing. It has been a year ago since the last time I did it. Did it feel different. Not really, but for one thing, I was too active to stay in the water longer than 25 minutes, so the remainder of the session I had a royal POWER shower, and waited for Fred. It was his first time floating. But as he said "not for him". He finds it impossible to relax enough. Now granted if he would wish to, he could learn to relax like that. But he does not want to.

We had coffee at my place, and when he left I did my own thing until I went to bed. Oh yes, I tried some zumba moves, still having trouble with the que ve meuve, or whatever it is called. I am fine with the diamond step, and the meringue march though!

Went to bed early, and when ~I woke I decided to wear my brand new chocolate brown suit. Me in a suit - power dressed for the occasion. I had to shorten the trousers and will have to take in the waist at the back just a little. My derriere is not big enough any more. And as such I note that I am disproportionally shaped; to accommodate my belly and stomach I need 1 or 2 sizes bigger in trousers. However there is too much material which lovingly encases my arse! That or it is too small! Same with jackets, when they fit around my waist, I do not have enough chest material to fill up the rest of the jacket -grins- BUT if that is the worst of my problems, I am a happy bunny! I'll just nip and tuck at the material, same as I nip and tuck at my biological material. I will ask Fred to make a photograph!

Active-person-re-creating-her-life!

Went to the gym and worked hard, very hard. had fun, so much fun sweating my buns off. I find myself moving into an involuntary jog at times. Just because I am having so much fun. My walking speed is so fast that I might just as well jog. I mean at 3.5 mls/hr is is easier to jog than to walk. Now I don't make it past 1 minute at a time but, I do make it!

Now Sayre, now there is a woman I admire! My wonderful blog friend Sayre featured my end of years resolution in her own blog on Monday 21st September: http://becauseimfat.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-i-want-for-christmas.html. I am honored, chuffed, grinning from ear to ear that she did. In it she quotes my goal for Christmas 2009 which is 120kg/264.5 lbs.

And I am still hard at work to make it. This week I will be reassessing that aim and I feel I will have to readjust it to 125 kg/275 lbs. I am moving slow these [past few weeks, and so busy socially that I am having trouble keeping on the straight and narrow. mind you the path is still narrow, but not all together too straight.

Have a nice day you all, and to those who need it, an extra warm and energizing hug.

882 WW & 437 FF - The Day After, and perservering (a few days later than that due to slow posting)

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 15:32:00 +0000

The day after WHAT, I can hear you ask?

Well the day after I heard I have been selected, for a job which I consider to the crown on my career, an interesting and challenging job. I was extremely nervous, and had been anxiously awaiting the results from my interview, when I received a phone call. I picked up too late, got a voice mail and had to redial 4 times as I dialed the wrong number 3 times. Finally I spoke to a lady I did not know, the replacement of the one I did know who was on a holiday. Her initial approach to me did not make me very feel very succesful. But to make along story sort, after one additional question, she informed me I had the job.

I am a very controlled and structured person, which means I do not jump around for joy. And boy is that a handicap. Inside there was this burst of energy, a smile a mile wide, and outwardly there was little to show for it. I shared embraces with some of my colleagues, but still now, up to now 3 days later, it is still very ..........unreal. I have informed family, friends, work associates, and all are happy for me, wish me luck, tell me how they feel it is the job for me.

Know what?

My process of "health watching", life changing, weight changing, perspective changing has led me to this, because the job I have applied for is not something I would have applied for 288 days - 126 weeks ago - 29 months ago. I am a stronger, more defined, self aware person, highly aware of my qualities, my weaknesses. Strong enough to face both, to exploit both to the maximum. And so I know that I CAN do this. Every day my strength, perseverance, and stamina amaze me. It is not just a phase I am going through, but a different life, a different me. And I am genuinely proud of myself.

Still .........

there are days I wonder how in the world will keep going, because I won't be finished in a week, a month, even a few months. It makes me, in a way, sad at times that there is no one, just for me, to share this with. Having said that I am never lonely, and rarely experience the sense of being alone. I have great and wonderful friends, wonderful colleagues, a family I can turn to when I wish. And this life changing process is easier on my own, I have no one to explain myself to, or even answer to. No battles over food items I would not wish to have in the house, or complaints about spending as much time at the gym as I do. I have seen too many try and succumb to the lure of loving partners who say enough is enough, or simply demand to finally have a normal meal, or a decent bag of crisps in the house.

At present in my life there is no room for any one else but myself. Changes like the one I am undergoing demand time, so much time, demand energy, so much energy, demand attention, so much attention. There would be nothing left for any one else. At this moment in time, dividing my time, effort and attention between me and another on a daily basis would be detrimental to my perseverance. I am sure of that. And so as I have said before EGOISM is a big part of the change in me. The one thing I have to guard against is for the egoism, healthy as it is right now, to take on proportions which drive away precious friends. But I am sure they will warn me in time...............right, guys and gals?

And thus for now persevering does mean being egoistic, joyfully, gracefully egoistic. I like that phrasing:

Willow
excels at

graceful egoism

Now for the humdrum: no weigh in this Wednesday. I had a dinner do, with opera with the office colleagues, so ou will have to wait for next week. But going well, doing well I think. Time will tell. Exercise wise, I am on fire. I drive myself harder, deeper, stronger, faster every day!

Last Sunday I purposely chose not to work out, giving myself a day of rest, just like the good Lord did! Creation is a tiring business and in a way I am creating myself all over again.

Anyways, have a great week, a great day, and remember you ARE the most important person in the world, for without you there is no "your world".

877 WW & 432 FF - Murder, bloody MURDER!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 09:19:00 +0000

There should be a law against people like Nanda!

Or at the very least a law against the torment she puts people through in personal training. I mean it gets to be ridiculous when muscles ache I did not know I had, er even needed! -grins- on the inside of my leg, where the leg joins the body, there are muscles. Really there are, and they hurt! -points at Nanda- Her doing, drinving me to it!

yesterday I had a very important interview, so "sensitive" I will not even write down what it is untill I am certain I get the job. I am one of two candidates so keep your fingers crossed. Anyways, after the Interview, I was really worked up, I could feel the stress levels simmering in me, and as I had a personal training about 3.5 hour later and the gym was practically next door, I decided to go work out.

Of course I had forgotten, or rather chosen, to leave my swimming gear at home, so.......... I HAD to do the cardio and muscle thing. Swimming always seems so much easire. Problem, or rather challenge, was, I am still on the mend of a HUGE blister on my left heel. SO Making sure my shoes were secure and tight, not allowing the shoe to move even a fraction and start it all up again, I did some power walking, muscle machines, and rowing.

First time I did rowing, as I have always been anxious about my belly being in the way. But it was OK, not too bad at all. Not sure I actually like the excercise, but as it is an all round excercise, using many major muscle groups, I am sure I will be making it a part of my regular routine anyhow!

Then after 2 hours, I did rest some in between, of my own personal torture, I had my own personal coach torture me. Some really high impact excercises, involving my stamina as well. In short, by the end of the session I could not even perform the last exercise very well. Not enough umph left to keep my abdominals contracted, and as a result I could not keep my balance.

Today, I am planning to go to the gym in about an hour or so, and will be designing my own 4 sets of exercises. After about 25 personal trainings I kn ow I can make a set of excercises myself. Will be showing them to Nanda. SO she can decide on the wisdom of them, and the combination of them. An interesting new phase, me as my own personal trainer.

1. squat with 55 lbs/25 kg on shoulders, top of my back, lunge and squat alternately - legs, ?? 2 x 10, 2 x 5
2. kneel at resistance wall, high hand helds, pull waights down while kneeling - shoulders, upper back, abdomen 1 x 15, 2 x 10
3. lay down on step, with dumbell and pully weight - training, biceps, triceps 2 x 10, 1 x 5
4. sit on front of bose ball, 4 crunches, keeping only one foot on the ground, then pick up wightball (about 20 lbs) come to a full stand. abdimon, back, legs, arms 4 sets
5. resistance wall, lower hand holds, lunge step out, point

Oh as for weight? - makes a sad puppy eyes face- I GAINED 2 lbs. But know why, way too much partying and eating out! Will make up for it, I always do! GYM time now, I will report back.

870 WW & 426 FF - 200 Plus Baby (day count adjusted) - WIllow's a 200 BABY!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 18:40:00 +0000

It is official, yesterday I was weighed at 135.6 kg/298.9 lbs.

I am no longer a 300 Lady, I am a 200 Baby!

So...................Remember this post?

Challenge 2009

"I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it means I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bit too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!"

I am actually behind schedule: I have now lost 4.4 kg/ 9.7 lbs. This means I am 2.6 kg/5.7 lbs behind schedule! I will rethink my efforts in 3 weeks and may re adjust the end total if need be!

Looking back, counting my blessings again

The last 10 months has been a difficult period. I gained 20 kg/45 lbs (where my total weightloss was once 32.8 kg/72.3 lbs) over a period of 10 months, setting the achieved weightloss back with 60%! And then decided I would not let it happen and lost it all again!

May this year was a special month for me, I visited a man who has been my friend on line for 10 years, and for 13 days I was in heaven, very selfishly, extremely selfishly, only thinking of me, of what I needed, what I wanted. My friend was there to cater to my every need. It made me realise that I AM SPECIAL. Made me realise how special HE is. And so renewed my self esteem batteries. When I travelled back home by plane for 17 hours, I had so much time to think. I painted the full picture. For the past 10 months I may have become an athlete of sorts, going to the gym as much as 4 times a week, but I had greatly neglected my health eating regime, geared to loosing weight. Just the gym was not enough, weight watchers, and a personal trainer were needed. And so I did both, I went to the weekly Weight Watchers meetings again, and found myself a personal trainer, Nanda.

I lost all the weight I gained, and by now a little more even, 8 kg/17 lbs. It is inn essencenot all that much.BUT, have a loook at my measurements!! Most of my weight is around my belly, my arms legs, upper body are by no means proportionally as big as my stomach. Compare the second and the third set of measurements. And you will see I lost 10 cm./4 inches MORE off my waist and hips.

It means that eventhough the weight last year august and this year august is almost identical, my measurements are not; it means I have considerable less fat!! I did not just lose 20 kg/45 lbs as I did the year before as well, but I lost it in a different way. May waist and hips have gone down! YES!!

Below is a comparison between May 3, 2007, August 9, 2008, and September 19, 2009. The first period was my Weight Watchers period, minding my food intake loosing weight that way, and a careful start with Fitness; the second was my Fitness First period, trying to shape my body by being an active sportive woman, however losing track of my weight loss efforst, only to veer back on track again in the last 4 months.

---------_--- -2007-2008-2009------------------------

\
Weight-- _________---380.9 lbs. ___315.7 lbs (17.0%)-____ 298.9 lbs (21.6%)

Desired w.loss_ _____ 184.3 lbs______64.8 lbs (35.1%)______ 82.0 lbs (44.5%)

Upper arm___ ___ 16.1 inch____ _14.2 inch (12.1%) ___ __14.2 inch (14.6%)
Waist_______ ____ 59.1 inch._____54.3 inch (8.0 %)VV __V50.4 inch (14.6%)

Hips ---------- ____ 66.9 inch______61.4 inch (8.2%)_______57.9 inch (13,5%)

Right thigh_________ 29.9 inch__ ___27.2 inch (9.0 %)__ _ _ 27.2 inch (9.0%)

And me in photographs

4.6 kg/10.6 lbs to go, to have lost 50% of the desired total!

835 WW & 383 FF & C25K 1.1 - first day C25K challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 23:40:00 +0000

Week from Hell

Ok be prepared for something like a whine. I am not eating well, not drinking well, not sleeping well. I miss talking to my special one and I am working way to hard. BUT having said that I am not doing half bad.

Not drinking well: I am struggling to make my two liters. Why? Because I do not fill my bottle every morning when I am at work. BAD Willow!
Not eating well: I skip breakfasts, and thus start the day really really wrong. Why? Have had no real time for groceries. BAD Willow!
Not sleeping well: Take work home, finding there are not enough hours in a work day, and then end up sleeping less hours Why? Have my priorities all screwed up. Health comes first, Sanity too, work fifth............sixth even! BAD Willow.
Don't talk to my special one: I just cannot find a time that hea stime to spend with me. Why? Timezone problems! ~makes puppey dog eyes~just one of them there things I cannot change.
Working way to hard: take work home, feeling things should be finished, feeling deadlines breathing down my neck. Why? Because things have not been organised well, and frankly, the team I work in is not a team! BAD Willow...........erm.....no.

So summarising the solution:

Fill my bottle of water in the morning
Go grocery shopping, and lay of the easy, nearly pointless sweet cookies!
Find time to spend with Mr. wonderful, priority........four, after food, drink and sleep
sleep at least 6 hours, preferably 7.
Take no more work home!

Ok, problems detected, and solutions found. Now........live up to them!!!

C25K week one, day one

I did 5 minutes at 5.5 km/hr, then the remaining 15 minutes alternately at 5.5 km/hr jog, and 4.5 km/hr power walk. I was alittle scared actually running on the treadmill,, so first try I held on to the handles, second try I tried without, sort of half half the remaining 4 I did without any support. And I did it. Odd thing, though I sweated like an otter, It did not challenge me to the max.

I know now I will have to do this first one again as I did 15 minutes alternating. It should have been 20 minutes. Silly Willow!

Though I was very hot after, and my legs were like lead. I managed only 5 mins on the cross trainer. And as it was nearly 09:15 PM before I was finished and my body desperately needed some sauna and steamroom TLC, I just relaxed for about 45 mins, and went home.

Oh and another thing I noticed. I have been taking these hot and cold (really cold) alternating power showers, each lasts 20 seconds, and I can feel myself loving the cold one. I don't know why, but I actually enjoy the cold more than the hot ones.

All in all it is late again, and I should be in bed, because at this rate I will manage just under 5 hours of sleep!! BAD Willow. Oh yes and tomorrow is weigh in day again. I am aiming for 2.2 lbs/1 kg, but I have grave doubts!

Subtitles to my post titles

What does uit all means? 835 WW & 383 FF & C25K 1.1

835 WW = 835 days of WeightWatchers
383 FF = 383 days if Fitness First (the gym) - 150 odd vistis by now
C25K 1.1 = Couch to 5 KM jogging challenge week one day one

-grins- the girl behind the front desk just matter of factly said. See you tomorrow. And I thought "WOW, they have noticed. I am an every day gym girl!"

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

Want to understand hat C25K is all about? Read THIS
Have a great week. hope it is not too warm! will be checking up on all those familiar blogs again soon!

831 WW & 379 FF - Following FLG's blog

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:48:00 +0000

A Jogging Challenge. - Saints preserve us!

I read up on many blogs, and one of the in FLG's blog. he kept on talking about a C25K challenge, and dilligently I kept reading about it. And frankly I had no idea what it was. So, I decided to look it up, and it the Couch to 5 Kilometres running plan. As I was reading through a page explaining it, I noticed myself getting more and more exited.

You know what, I think I can do this. For 8 weeks in a row you follow a sort of training programme. If you fail to finish a week, no problem. You just repeat the week untill you can do it. The end result is being able to jog 5 km/3 mls!

Week one
On three seperate days, preferably allowing one day of recuperation the following jogging/walking schedule: Brisk five-minute warm up walk. Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

There is even a lady who has made podcasts to make it easier. The music will guide you on. It will be interesting to see if all my working at the gym has resulted in some stamina. Will let you know!

830 WW & 378 FF - Weigh in

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:52:00 +0000

Personal training and weigh in

I believe in before and afters. I have become brave enough to show me, the old me, the new me, the ME me.

The left photograph was taken two days ago 12 august 2009, the other was taken about 5 years ago, may be 6 years ago. No idea what I weighed but it was...........massive.

This is what I work for so hard, so dilligently. It is not just losing weight. It really ia not. It is also about gaining confidence, gaining serenity, peace of mind and soul.

Hard work, but worth every minute I spend to achieve it.

Yesterday my personal trainer Nanda was having a ball. She drove me hard. sweat was pouring down my face, my back, even my lower arms. It still amazes me to see beads of persperation on me, "Miss lazy extra ordinaire", "Miss couch potato", "Miss I am not going to budge from my bed", "Miss sports? Please get away from me".

As for Nanda driving me hard? I noticed she especially focussed on stamina and upper legs, tri and biceps. In the process she also demanded much of sense my balance. She had me do an exercise I could not do well when I tried it about 12 weeks ago. With a weight of 11 lbs in each hand make big steps, making sure to bring the weights close to the floor, the knee of the front leg above the foot, the back leg supported just on your toes, so in essence a squat, then take a step, without support step in the middle, doing the same with the other leg. Each time keep the weights down for 2 seconds before taking the new step. About 15 steps one way, 15 steps back. I hope you people understand what I mean, describing these things somewhat intelligently is hard.

Other exrcises involved arms and again upper legs, quads, abdominals. In short I felt good but dead tired when I stopped. I had done 50 laps (about 1 km/0.6 ml) in the morning, so when it came to the cross trainer I was really beat. I made it for about 7 mins, then caved in and just went to the locker room. I enjoyed jusT sitting and relaxing before I set off to the weight watchers.

AND The grand total for this week is............tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........................
2.2 kg/4.9 lbs

Which means I am ahead of target by 1.2 kg/2.7 lbs! Week ONE is done!!

This morning when I came to the office one of my colleagues had left an envelop on my desk, in it was a very nice incentive, a token of her support; a gift certificate to buy something nice for myself at a perfume shop! And for a moment she brought me to tears. I did not know what to say. How special it is to have people who are willing to support me, cheer me on. It humbles me to know that what I am doing, a very egocentric thing, which at times meakes me choose for me above the people around me, still makes people wish to be as ssupportive as they are.

free translation:

"Willowisheslessline present....going strong, keep it up!"

Because believe, I know loosing weight, getting healthier is in a way a very ego centric process. Unafraid to put myself at the centre of my universe very often. To choose for me-time, me-food, me-activities. And you know what, I think it is/was actually the heart of many of the problems I have faced, not just weight ones. To look out for number one, ME, was never my strong suit. But I can tell you that has changed.

So, without further ado, all my friends, family, neighbours, colleagues

THANK YOU ALL!

828 WW & 376 FF - Compliments, and hard work

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 08:41:00 +0000

Going strong, on target - weigh in wednesday

I weigh myself quite frequently. Something I vowed I would not a two years ago. And yet I find I need it. In the morning after fitness I weigh myself. Why? Well if I am doing well, it will help me to stay focused. If I am slipping it will help me to get focussed and slide any further. Both have the same result, to know where I am going, and why I am doing all this. Any views on this, post them in a coment I would love to know your views on this.

I was talking to one of my colleagues who has been dieting most of her life. Why? Well reasons for following a diet are usually highly personal. I mean that not every one may agree with your reasons. My colleague could be argued to not need to loose the lbs. She always looks wonderful, well dressed, hair done to perfection, lovely make up, accessoiries to match. However it is not about what we think, it is what she thinks and feels!

But that was not what I wished to discuss. We got to talking about loosing weight, and how the loss of the same amount of lbs was acclaimed and praised by every one around me, but that same weightloss was not even noticed when she lost it. Which means that the effort, dedication and perseverence were noticed in my case but not in hers. In which case I feel it is so much more commendable for her to achieve it than it was for me, for despite voices telling her she need not loose the weight, despite very few people cheering her on, she DID DO IT.

My olleague has chosen a different way of loosing weight. She follows a programme of powders which can be transformed into muesli, omelets, dough for a small bun, potato mash. These items of course also contain minerals, vitains and various other nutrients. With it she is allowed to eat lots and lots of vegetables, but no fruit, sugar or fat. Granted it would not do me, I would go nuts. Her daily intake is not more than 500 kcal. I am amazed that she can actually make it work, I would faint after 2 day!!

But the core of the discussion was this: losing weight is hard, dedicated and seemingly endless task . It is not a process where you can take time out, relax. Praise, smiles cheering and interest in the process DOES help. I should know because all the comments I get sure keep me motivated!

Anyways, today is personal training day again. This morning I swam 50 laps , and will try to do another 50 after my training. Weigh in is today as well. I will let you all know. Justifiably so I should be punished because I sort of binged on ice cream yesterday! It was sooooooooooo good, but having said that I feel bad now and wonder why it is I could not stick to just one or two scoops.

Photograph for August will follow soon, but when Fred tried to take one last night I looked horrible. I looked tired, fat and well.........not me. I will also post a "just after working"out photograph soon. I saw it in FLG's blog and was determined to do so myself. I know I look like...........bleagh, but it is an honest recount of the hard, dedicated and seemingly endless task I have taken on!

My Charms

I don't know ho many of you remember my Pandora charm bracelet. It helped me along the first year and a half. Every 3.5 kg/7.7 lbs weightloss I was allowed to buy a charm. I have by now 22 charms (and 10 more for birthdays and the like occasions) and 17 spacers. At the moment I am on hold with the charms as I gained weight of course. When I reach 288.4 lbs/130.8 kg, I am back on schedule. I will award myself one golden charm at 127.3 kg/280.6, as it will have been ONE hard struggle to regain my stride again.

Planning ahead

I am already planning for a challenge ahead; 24th-27th august I will be part of a huge seminar circus, which emans I will not be able to go to the gym for 4 days, and will have to practice restraint food wise. You know how it is in these 4 star conference places, there is food in abundance, and not all of it healthy.

I must admit the thing which bugs me most is not being able to work out. I am looking into an alternative close by, ill keep all of yous posted!

825 WW & 373 FF - My personal tormentor, errr trainer, is back!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 06:56:00 +0000

Muscles, I still have them!

Nanda is back! My personal trainer had 4 weeks of holiday, and now she is back. Wednesday last was the first time, the one training which is really personal, one on one. Yesterday was a training which was one on two, me and my fitness buddy Margreet.

I am not sure, but I think she was easy on me. We did train every possible muscle you can think of, with emphasis on stomach, biceps and triceps, chest muscles. I was OK afterwards, just some burn in the day to follow to make clear I had been working out.

Yesterday we did the 1 on 2 routine, and it was........challenging. I notice I have come to the point where it has become easier for me to do coordinated exercises which combine, balance, stamina, and muscles. I don't fall all the time, or have to stop because I am so out of breath I cannot think straight. I try to do them as focussed as possible and do not allow myself to slack. Every time Nanda says "another 8", I push myself to do the extra 8, to not just stop and give up. I am actually starting to enjoy them, and am challenging myself to go slower, drive the muscles harder, go deeper, add an extra two when Nanda says we are done.

Yesterday I put the weights on a resistance wall exercise up because I felt it was too easy. But instead of 2 lbs, I made a mistake and upped it 4 lbs. Nanda noticed half way through the exercise, as did I. I really had to put my all in it. But I refused to stop, and just completed the set, muscles trembling and all. Come to think of it that might be the reason why my arm muscles, chest and shoulder suffer most today.

This week I plan to make a very good one weight wise just to get my challenge on the right track. The goal is 2.2 lbs/1 kg a week. A friend of mine is worried that it is just too much. It is not; 2 lbs a week is something my body can do, without any adverse effect. I wish to build more muscle, that way up the calorieburn during "rest" periods. I am trying to bring my fat percentage down to below 40%, and it is already working, I am sort of struggling around that marker now.

So all in all. All is well. Food wise I am being creative, healthy and at times a little indulgent. weather wise we are warm, hot, warm, windy, hot. In short a typical dutch summer. Oh, and after fitness thhis morning I am going to the movies. Something with ghosts and girlfriends, and Matthew M.

823 WW & 372 FF - Christmas challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 13:46:00 +0000

Setting myself up for a fall?

No flippin' way!

Christmas Challenge 2009

And I quote from my on blog:

"I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it means I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bit too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!"

I am setting myself this target, and will document on it in my blog. I have lost 28.2 lbs/12.8 kg in last 10 weeks, making up for 3.3 lbs/1.5 kg weightgain in those 10 weeks. So a total effort of 31.5 lbs/14.3 kg. If I take that up to 20 weeks, it would mean a possible weightloss of 63.0 lbs/28.6 kg. That would leave room for some error. Because 20 weeks is a loooooooong time not to slip up, veeeeeeeeeeery .long!

In numbers it looks like this, 1.0 kg/2.2 lbs a week. That should be possible.

WEEK KG LBS TARGET MADE

wk 0 5-8 140,2 309,0

wk 1 12-8 139,2 306,8

wk 3 19-8 138,2 304,6

wk 4 26-8 137,2 302,4

wk 5 2-9 136,2 300,2

wk 6 9-9 135,2 298,0

wk 7 16-9 134,2 295,8

wk 8 23-9 133,2 293,6

wk 9 30-9 132,2 291,4

wk 10 7-10 131,2 289,2

wk 11 14-10 130,2 287,0

wk 12 21-10 129,2 284,8

wk 13 28-10 128,2 282,6

wk 14 4-11 127,2 280,4

wk 15 11-11 126,2 278,2

wk 16 18-11 125,2 276,0

wk 17 25-11 124,2 273,8

wk 18 2-12 123,2 271,6

wk 19 9-12 122,2 269,4

wk 20 16-12 121,2 267,2

wk 21 23-12 120,0 264,9

I need all the support I can get, so keep following me, comment, and keep sending the good vibes. I am on my way, ready to rock and roll! Any one care to join me in their own christmas challenge? With 20 weeks to go, now is the time to set that target!!

Come on, be bold, challenge yourself to the max!

.......................as my weightwatchers coach says,
we'll be in sexy slinky black by Christmas!

822 WW & 371 FF (both corrected as of this date) - Bounce, bounce, bounce!

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 14:19:00 +0000

Bouncing back after a hard week

It has been a full 10 days since I blogged last. The week before this one was a confusing one. I gained 3.7 lbs/1.7 kg. In part this was due to a nasty jaw infection. One of my molars, actually one my dentist is trying to save was giving me grief, painful grief! And she is/was on a holiday! No way was any one going to touch that molar. So the one solution was pain killers in massive doses. It helped but gave me a numb feeling, and eating was no joy. So I did not pay too much attention to food. Hence weight gain.

I promised myself I would not slide more than I did, and this week I lost 2 lbs/0.9 kg again. Still a week of hard struggling, and would you not know it I started my period. -grins- those of you who are male, and don't want to read about these female things, just skip it! When I started to loose serious weight, I also started to have serious pain issues when it was that time of the month. Never had much trouble before! The cramps were much more severe. But well, I just take the good, losing weight, feeling great, with the bad, temporary discomfort.

Also I get eating cravings. Never really noticed I had them before, but now I do. Choccolate is one of my favorites, but basically anything will do. Had some disappointing news, which almost made me go into an emotional binge. But I resisted both, the period and emotion eating, and in the end lost 2 lbs! Hurray for me. See I am learning, or have learned. By now the tricks, advices, rules and regulations have morphed into healthy living and a different me. Does not always work, but in many many more cases than none, it does work!

The hunt is on for the illustrious 299 lbs/136 kg is on. FLG has already made it and I so long to get there as well. I won't make any predictions as to when I will have made it, but I will get there and finally break through the 140 mark, once and for all! Today my personal trainer is back and I will see how much I have retained conditionwise. I can tell her that I lost about 11 lbs/5kg in the mean time!

I am aiming to be 264 lbs/120 kg by christmas. A BIG challenge, it emans I want to loose 45 lbs/20 kg in 18 weeks, may be a bot too presumptious. Will give it some more thought. I might set myself up to fall!

More to tell soon! Gotta get ready! Will make my comments round tonight if I can squeeze it in.

816 WW & 326 FF - one of them there days

noreply@blogger.com (Pandora Woman) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:16:00 +0000

Hanging in there!

Not even a very bad day. I transgressed on Ice cream, and croissants, but that is about it. Though mind you that did bring my points balance out of kilter. My toothache is improving, and I am sticking to my excercise regime.

Though the scales did put me off balance. It said I gained 5 lbs. I reminded myself the new skirt IO was wearing was considerably heavier that amything else I had worn, also I am gearing up for the dreaded time of the moon month. But whatever it says, I WILL not let it floor me! No flippin' way!

Hope you have a grand day, mine will be a busy one again, with lots of cycling!