Willow of Wonder

joy of the lord

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sat, 11 Oct 2014 17:29:00 +0000

This past year has been one of

great change,

great growth,

great sorrow,

and great joy.

But most of all

great healing,

and rebuilding.

It has been an absolute surrender of all.

I've likened it to me being moved by remote control.

With God up there holding the remote.

Infinite trust, and a child-like faith.
And a backwards free-fall into his arms.

Because I know he never fails, and is always faithful.
And he just keeps holding me through it all.

Before this experience in a lot of circumstances I'd surrender,

but then I'd return to thinking, researching, you know, not fully 100 percent releasing it.

But in an instant He transformed me and has given me opportunity

to practice this surrender all year long.

I suspect, it'll be all life long.

And it is the most freeing, and beautiful experience.

I am forever changed, and forever grateful.

And my closeness to Christ has gone to a level I wouldn't trade for anything.

He and I together we've dug in and done massive surgery.

And I've felt him building me back together brick by brick, a stronger warrior for him.

Going back and looking over some of my writing here I am annoyed at the over-thinking I see on the screen. But I won't get rid of it, because it's testament to change and growth. And I'll give that girl grace. Because that girl did not yet know, or see the whole picture. And so many things that didn't add up and didn't make sense that she was trying to fix, and repair, and lay at Jesus' feet.
The light has flooded in with truth and now those things have been released.

But back to the title of this post.

The JOY of the LORD.

I know I'm being a tad cryptic. But just know that this year has been so filled with beauty from ashes and restoration for me. And I sorta just want to shout from the roof tops how amazing God is. How he has provided, and paved, and protected, and shown me his great love in small and big ways.

And through it all my friends would say, "Sometimes we forget all you're going through because you just keep holding it together and smiling." And I say it is because I have learned what it really means to have the joy of the Lord as my strength. Truly that has sustained me. And every single night, after getting my kids to bed, and cleaning up I sit down, and I am happy.
I am grateful.
And I do not forget to count my stones of remembrance for all He has done.

In a very random connection I was at a birthday celebration for a sweet friend recently. It was a surprise backyard movie party. Her favorite movie is Mary Poppins. So the stage was set, and we had the most wonderful time celebrating, singing, talking, and laughing.

And speaking of laughing, that scene where they float to the ceiling every time they laugh led to some discussion, and a statement that just confirmed what I feel about finding joy in the Lord.

A friend said, "What if we really did float when we laugh?"

And another replied, "Well if we did, we'd have to get Jackie down from the moon."

Down from the moon.

I like that.

And I think I don't want to come down from the moon.

Happy three-day weekend friends.
I hope you find moments to laugh to the moon too.

ode to summer

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 09:04:00 +0000

As the school year begins I don't want to let too much time go by
without paying tribute to summer.

We have NEVER had this much planned.

It was too much almost to keep straight.
So I had to make a calendar for all of us to visually keep track.

So here is your warning.

This is long.

But for my own posterity, I needed to do this.

Shortly after school got out we headed to the airport, joining two other families

for a much needed trip to Hawaii. I wrote about it a couple of years ago, how

there's just something really healing, free, and playful about Hawaii.

The whole trip was such a blessing, on so many levels.

The trip was filled with swimming, and playing, digging, and skating.

I snorkeled every single day.

I couldn't wait to return to favorite spots and discover new ones.

I love the weightlessness, the light, the colors, the feeling of

awe over this amazing world beneath the surface.

I really don't ever want that to end.

Here I am swimming with the giant sea turtles in Napili Bay.

Being alongside these majestic creatures, it just takes your breath away.

I even was brave enough to jump off black rock with my son.

I went up to help him because he has a fear of heights.

And then I realized why he couldn't quite do it.

MUCH more scary from up there.

We had lots of encouragement.

I would not go back down the rocks,

but my legs would not stop shaking.

So with a literal hand to hold,

I lept off the cliff.

And then so did he.

And we did it.

We did it.

I loved watching them.

And again wanted to freeze this time.

At dinner time, we laughed so hard.

There's a big inside joke behind this picture.

It was beautiful barbecuing most nights, with the sun setting

and the kids playing.

And again, this lady and I laughing so hard I'm crying.

We go back all the way to first grade, and have

literally walked through everything together.

We have each other's backs in a way I can't explain.

We just get each other like no one else.

I could not imagine doing life without her.

The very last day was the most amazing,

I mean amazing display of God's beauty.

No joke, this rainbow that appeared

and kept growing stronger

until it was a double rainbow

lasted about 45 minutes.

It became so normal, the kids

just played with it in the background.

The pristine, velvet sand of Makena beach

with the immaculate lighting,

it was ethereal.

It was one of those moments where I just

soaked in the beauty and knew I'd

remember this feeling forever.

It felt like a glimpse into heaven.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

God is just so amazing.

And it felt like a love letter just for us.

Aloha Hawaii… until we visit again.

Right off the heels of Hawaii I was gifted the opportunity

to attend the Season's spiritual retreat in Newport.

Katherine Wolf, who has become a dear friend

and her husband were on the speaking panel.

I was not only blessed by them, but all of the speakers

and the many moments for quiet and introspection.

Oh, and new friends. My roommates, and a woman

I kept saying I know I know you.

We finally figured out we had been in the same sorority in college.

Small world I tell you!

Our lives have taken similar turns, and she was absolutely

inspiring to me. It was all around a beautiful retreat and

different than others I've attended in many ways.

I'd highly recommend it.

Then it was time to celebrate Independence Day!

It's truly one of my favorite holidays.

No joke, I tear up every year.

And at the stroke of midnight, more celebrating

because it's my birthday.

The next day was spent with family at two baseball

games for my son's tournament.

The younger me would have NEVER thought she'd

ever spend the majority of her birthday at a sporting event.

But this boy of mine, he has changed me.

And I was excited to cheer on his team.

The night was spent with my dearest friends at one of our

favorite restaurants.

And the very next day, we saw my son off

to his week long middle school camp with friends all

the way back to preschool.

And I set off with this partner in crime as one of the

counselors for the third and fourth grade girls camp at forest home.

They are truly a special group of girls.

I knew many of their moms before they were even born,

and it was so neat to hear their thoughts and opinions.

Seeing them push themselves and grow closer together.

I loved our nightly talks after campfire and before bed,

hearing their hearts, and seeing them owning their faith.

While I went to serve them, I also went with the

full intention of just playing like a child myself.

Since I didn't go to a camp like this growing up,

and knowing my son had been here every summer

the four years prior I was so grateful to experience it first hand,

and to hear how serious the counselors and staff are about

showing God's love to these kids.

They are special people I tell you, with some amazing energy.

To see how much they pour into those kids, and to

know they do it again week after week.

I would look around and think, these kids do not know

how blessed they are to be here, to be experiencing this,

to know these truths at such a young age.

And I would pray for them.

That they would hold onto their faith,

what they're hearing, what they're singing,

that the knowledge of God's love and

His word would ring louder than the lies of the world as they grow.

Not long after we returned,

my college roommates whisked me away for a surprise reunion getaway.

It was so special. We're hitting a major milestone year.

And it had been almost ten years since all four of us spent

an extended period of time together.

It took some planning, with three different states,

and literally planes, trains, and automobiles

to bring us to the peaceful town in Santa Ynez.

My one roommate's husband is a wine distributor

so we had private tours.

We laughed a lot.

And talked non stop.

It was a slow, really relaxing time.

We browsed through the shops in town.

And had dinner on the porch.
It was just too beautiful.

There was so much catching up to do.

It felt a bit like traveling back in time.

When we lived together through college, just babies we were.

Now with families of our own.

It was kind of surreal.

And I missed them.

I realized, a lot.

I didn't want it to end.

But we vowed not to let more than two years

go by without doing it again.

Back at home we did lots of local things,

visiting our favorite restaurants, the antique mall,

trips to the beach, hiking, skating, sleep overs,

and more birthday celebrations.

Oh my I know this is photo heavy.

This is what happens when you don't blog for an entire summer.

So for those of you still with me,

here was our last hurrah to summer.

My best friend (the one I mentioned above) and I

set out to camp with the kids.

First time, just us moms and the kids.

We went in with very little expectations.

And said, well if all goes wrong,

at least we'll laugh…. a lot.

But you know what.

It was a total success.

Their freedom.

I just wanted to freeze this moment in time.

The wind, the salty air, the sand, the crashing waves,

their made up games, their innocence.

I had this yearning to keep them under

my wings, to protect this space forever.

As I watched them play, I prayed they always hold onto their wonder.

We were a bit sleep deprived, but it was well worth it.

We couldn't have asked for a better trip.

And just like that summer is over.

It was truly a spectacular one.

It began and ended conquering challenges,

and making new memories.

At the beginning I felt the Lord impress upon me

two things.

One, to truly grasp how great His love is and to be very intentional in seeing

how He is always pursuing and revealing that love.

And to be expectant, ready to receive.

It isn't easy for me to receive, I'm more of a giver.

But in so many ways I received this summer.

And I am just so grateful.

And the finality of it ending,

I won't lie I was feeling sad.

In the first week of school my son said,

"I like summer mom better than school year mom."

And I know what he means.

There are more rules, more structure, less freedom.

I wish it could always be summer,

but alas they wouldn't learn and grow

and one day be able to leave the nest without the building

blocks of the school year.

So we are getting into a groove.

And in that new groove, I'm shifting gears

and looking expectantly towards all the fall has to offer.

penelope lane

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 01:42:00 +0000

It's about time to do a little recap.

In the beginning of June I joined the Penelope Lane summer boutique.

I always love these fairs.

So many kindred spirits.

My people.

Who all love details, color, and whimsy.

And the owners of Penelope Lane were just the sweetest

and most welcoming. It was such a pleasure.

Here's a link to their review of the Summer boutique.

I find the day goes so fast, from unloading, setting up, chatting with shoppers.

My most favorite part was meeting up with two online friends who have become real life friends.

you can bet I'll be back for their fall and holiday boutiques.

Also.. beginning July 1st there will be a coupon code in the

etsy shop for 20% off in honor of my birthday.

It'll be JULY20!

EnJOY!

a belated tribute

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 28 May 2014 02:43:00 +0000

I recently asked someone if everyone writes in their heads.
As you're walking and sitting, and going about your day
do phrases and thoughts form into sentences and paragraphs
just flowing through your mind.

Because they do for me.

Back when I worked as a documentary producer and then reporter
if I was working on a bigger project that was more in depth I would wake
to realize scripts were forming in my sleep.
The perfect chain of words painting a picture of thoughts.
And I'd have to grab a paper to jot them down.

This friend said, "No, that doesn't happen to everyone."

So I guess it isn't a common every day occurrence.

Because I think I'm in my mind a lot.
Thinking, and praying, and writing these scripts meant for no one
else but me. Is this weird? Please tell me you do this too?
But if you don't that's ok too.

Because as I think and silently write, things are working their
way through me, and I believe God is using it to strengthen
me and grow me, and teach me.

And more is making sense.

Epiphanies and realizations and dots connecting.
And out of all of this I find a boldness is building in me.
And a freedom I personally hadn't known before.
I know much of this is probably confusing.
But just know that it is good.

It is just good.

I could go down a whole rabbit trail now.
But back to Memorial Day!!!

For now I want to pay a delayed tribute to our country's heroes.
To the service men and women who sacrifice so much,
their very lives for us to have freedom.

My dad was a navy fighter pilot in Vietnam. And 45 years ago
this week, knowing the risk that he may not come home he
called my mom during a break (it's called something more formal
than that, but I'll call it a small break) and asked if she'd meet
him in Japan so that they could be married. My mom being a
flight attendant hopped on a plane and before my dad's squadron
they became man and wife.

Some of his friends weren't able to return to begin their families.

And I don't take it for granted that there is a huge sacrifice

military families make in serving our country.

And for that I want to say a very indebted thank you.

To celebrate our freedom and what feels like the official kick off to summer we

battled the crowds to play on the beach.

It was a beautiful day to breathe deeply the sea air,

to uncover treasures,

to chase the waves,

and listen to the laughter of childhood innocence,

but most importantly to honor the brave

and give thanks for our freedom.

queen bee & more

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Thu, 08 May 2014 01:54:00 +0000

The Queen Bee Market in Oceanside was really wonderful.

It was so nice meeting so many kindred spirits and getting

to do what I love, talk about God and share my love for

decorating our homes with scripture.

Getting there was a little stressful, with an accident by LAX,

I was backed up for awhile and not

as ahead of time as I would have liked.

I grew up in the area, so a high school friend met me and she said, "Jackie these are your people."

She's so right.

These creative crafty folk, they are my kind of people.

And I'm ever so grateful for their creativity and that in them I have kindred spirits.

This bracelet I

COULD

NOT

STOP

thinking about.

And that's how I knew it needed to come home with me.

A literal 'armor of God' reminding me of His promise to protect

from psalm 91, a psalm I read every day right now.

Getting ready the second morning, I had to take a selfie because I was having

this very surreal circle of life feeling as I curled my hair in my childhood

home just like I did so many, many years before.

My son says I'm too serious in selfies so I made an effort at smiling.

Sort of.

Cupcake Girl Friday was my next door neighbor.

Not a bad neighbor to have.

And when the day was done, I got to hang with

a childhood bestie for dinner with the sunset.

The fairs, though a lot of work are so very much fun.

And I always walk away feeling so encouraged and with my cup overflowing.

So..here's where you can find me next.

This Saturday at Calvary Westlake

5495 Via Rocas in Agoura Hills

and on June 7th at the Penelope Lane Boutique.

earth day

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 19:11:00 +0000

The most glorious thing happened.

My nine year old requested that we celebrate earth day

with a trip to the beach.

I'm all for celebrations, and all for earth day.

So off to the the beach we went.

First picking up some food for dinner and

my most favorite healthy treat.

And all of a sudden we realized there were whales.

Migrating whales.

These pictures don't do them justice.

It was amazing. And beautiful.

And it felt like a gift.

God was sharing his wondrous creatures

with us right in the middle of our earth day celebration.

We ran along the shore, following

their journey as long as we could.

My tween was slightly embarrassed.

Worried people were noticing us.

I remember those days. The self conscious years.

But I said, "They're not looking at us, they're

looking at the whales. They really could care less

about us and will never see us again.

Just enjoy this moment."

JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT.

I wanted to soak it in forever.

This special visit, by these mighty creatures

so close it felt like you could

touch them if you were brave enough.

And though so many scriptures could fit this moment.

The one that came to my mind was Ephesians 3:20.

"Now all glory to God, who is able,

through his mighty power at work within us,

to accomplish infinitely more than we might

ask or think."

He gifted us with so much more than I could have

ever even imagined to ask or think.

And in the same way, his mighty power at work

within us, can accomplish more than we might

ask or think.

And it takes the weight off doesn't it.

Knowing his power is doing a mighty work.

It's not on us at all.

And what he can do is beyond what we could even imagine.

And to that I say it was a beautiful earth day.

A memory I will cherish.

alone, yet not alone

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sun, 20 Apr 2014 18:14:00 +0000

More than anything I hope you know you are not alone.

He who gave his life to save yours is with you always.

This day we celebrate His defeating sin, and death.

He rose again, and is alive,

with us every step of every day.

Giving strength, guidance, protection, comfort,

faithful love.

Every perfect gift.

I cannot imagine walking through this life without Him.

I hope you know this comfort too.

Whatever you're facing today.

Know that you can walk through it without fear.

His mightiness is your shield.

His love is now revealed.

This song was composed by a friend's dad.

There was much controversy around it.

But that is ok, because in the controversy more heard the words.

Jesus works in even the things that seem unfair, unjust.

We just don't always see the whole story, or the end.

But he does.

And he has already conquered it all.

There is already victory in Him.

This song is sung by Joni Eareckson Tada, her life story alone, and the fact

that she was even able to hit these notes is a miracle.

The second painting of Mary with baby Jesus in this video

has hung for decades in my parent's home.

I would pass it many times a day.

A source of inspiration in my own journey.

"I will not be bent in fear.

He is the refuge I know is near.

In his strength I find my own.

How mighty is his shield.

For his love is now revealed."

"I'm alone, yet not alone."

Amen friends!

another giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 13:52:00 +0000

Happy Easter week, and Holy Thursday friends.

What a special week this is for all of us.

I want to share another giveaway and a little interview about me

over at CAST TEAM. It's the Christian Artists Street Team where

I'm a member. They do a featured artist post, and this week I'm

the featured artist.

I hope to get back on here with more resurrection thoughts before the week is out.

easter giveaway

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:29:00 +0000

RUN..don't walk. Or well, click real fast

to head over to Oh Amanda for her 'un-Easter' basket giveaway.

I'd enter if I could.

But I think it would probably be wrong of me.

Cause in the basket are some goodies from willow of wonder.

(An 8x10 print of your choice and a printed copy of the

Easter subway art in the color of your choice)

AND..there's a coupon code for 20% off in the shop through April.

(click the image above to go to the shop… and the code, it's EASTER)

But look at some of the other fun gifts that are included in the basket...

God Gave Us Easter

Seeds Family Worship

U-NEEKS ::: Alliebird Set and Color Wonder Pad

Yancy

Her newest pre-teen devotional, Jesus Music Box Devotional + a Yancy tshirt (boy or girl version!)

You Can Draw Bible Stories

VeggieTales ::: The newest DVD, Veggies In Space!

spring craft fairs

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Tue, 18 Mar 2014 16:22:00 +0000

You all.

I'm a tad up to my ears in mod podge

and paint

and paper

and printing

and packaging.

Cause it's spring craft fair season.

I wasn't going to do it.

I wasn't.

I kept closing the door.

And God kept opening them right back up.

So I committed.

And here I am.

A little nervous if I'll have enough inventory.

But trusting it'll all come together.

Cause where God leads, he provides a way.

Here's the info in case you'd like to visit me and lots of other fun vendors.

I'm thinking some of these things would be great Easter Basket gifts!

First coming up… Penelope Lane Boutique.

Here are some pictures from a past boutique.

And then the stitched market.

And last, but definitely not lease I will be returning

to the Queen Bee Market.
It will be Friday May 2nd and Saturday May 3rd this year in Oceanside.
I don't see a flyer yet, but I'll certainly post it when there is one!

I would go to all of them even if I wasn't a vendor.

So why don't you join me?…at least once.

And with that brief announcement,
I'll return to my mod podging and packaging goodness.

s p r i n g f o r w a r d

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sun, 09 Mar 2014 22:08:00 +0000

OH it is time isn't it?

For the light to last longer

the days to linger later.

For signs of new life.

Green emerging from barren limbs.

Buds slowly unfolding.

Do you sense the colors,

the sounds,

the energy?

It is springing forth.

And these 40 days leading to the greatest

story of resurrection.

Only it isn't just a story. A parable. A fairytale.

No it's the truth of a God who loves you so very much

He gave his only son to take every last one of your sins

to the cross. Nailed forever and forgotten with His death.

And in his rising again He invites you to follow after him,

to spend eternity in paradise. Who wouldn't want a forever

after with the only one who can be a perfect provider, comforter,

faithful and true.

The beauty is you can feel this today.

Right here on earth. Holding his hand.

Inviting him into your life.

Every step of the way.

He has overcome every last bit of darkness.

The battle is already won.

Do you know that?

Do you feel it?

Do you walk in this truth?

Every trial you face.

He has already overcome.

And the light of the truth will be revealed.

And his strength can be within you.

All because of this season we celebrate.
The grace of the cross.

The blessing of His surrender.
And with His rising
we are offered the gift of the Holy Spirit
and an eternal life with our creator.

He's calling each of us.

Have you answered His call?
If you haven't, won't you consider it.
Shut away all the reasons you're telling yourself you can't or won't.
And just answer his patient, quiet knocking on your heart.
And trust me you'll feel a difference.
It will take time.
Studying his word.
Learning to sit with him
as the greatest friend of all.
But you'll feel him right there with you.
You'll see him acting on your behalf.
And you'll realize you don't know how you ever
did this life without Him.

If you already have and are walking with Him

do you share his testimony?

Your testimony of him working in your life?

Do you shout to the rooftops of all He has done.

All he continues to do.

This lent let's speak the truth and share of His great love.

Let's praise His holy name.

In the small moments, and in the big.

Pointing always back to the one who gave it all.
The one who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
The one who formed us, who knows our days and our ways.
The one who loves us with an everlasting love.

spiritual refreshing

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:15:00 +0000

This weekend I got a chance for some much needed time away.

A retreat for women called

s p i r i t u a l r e f r e s h i n g

And that it was.

Girl time.

God time.

Alone time.

All so needed.

And I knew I would have to go to some hard places.

Places of digging deep towards healing.

And it was the perfect setting.

In the mountains.

The clean fresh air,

dew on the ground,

deer grazing,

and a myriad of colors

painted by God's mighty hand.

There were tears and laughter.

Moments for speaking

and moments for silence.

And lots of clarity

through scripture,

song,

and sisters in Christ.

This is all of us.

These two were my roomies.

Sam on the left is a spunky prayer warrior and new friend.

Kim on the right has quite a testimony that God is using.

You can find it here.

She was my daughter's bible study teacher at Community Bible Study

many years ago. That was how God first brought us together.

And interestingly He divinely knew our stories would be

intertwined all these years down the road.

And these two ladies are so special to me.

Arlene on the left was my bible study leader last year.

A mighty prayer warrior and I love her to pieces.

She was one of the speakers this year.

And Michelle in the middle.

We became friends because of our sons.

God planted the idea

for spiritual refreshing in her heart several years ago.

And she listened.

And it has grown out of her obedience.

I saw her in a new light this weekend.

A role of a loving mother to all these women.

Her encouragement and nudging to get

each of us there.

How we all are connected through

knowing her.

All so different,

and yet so much the same.

Seeing how she and the leadership team

showed such care for each one of us

in both little and big ways.

They were truly the hands and feet of the Lord.

Michelle would always tell me how the Holy Spirit shows up.

And how wonderful it was.

And this year, finally I got to see and feel for myself.

And I promise you, I'll do all I can to

make sure I'm there again next year.

Won't you come along too?

Visit the Facebook page or web page to stay connected.

I want to share all the Lord is teaching me.

But now isn't the time.

I can say for now that

I am being refined,

strengthened,

made new.

A friend recently likened me

to butterflies and rainbows.

I wasn't sure exactly if that was good.

But then a sister this weekend said

Rainbows are promises

and butterflies transformation.

A transformation

through

the

O N E

who

always

keeps

H I S

promises.

For I am about to do something new.

See, I have already begun!

Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway

through the wilderness.

I will create rivers

in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19

Oh and this is a total side note.

But my sweet friend Hillary from capturing motherhood

posted pictures from a photo shoot she did for me and my kids

this fall. Some of the pics I showed you, but here are more.

I love how she captured them so relaxed and happy.

The joy I see in them makes this mama smile.

creative tea time

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 05:45:00 +0000

It's high time for a little recap isn't it!

Back in October one early morning.

I set my alarm.

And had my computer up and running.

Ready to click away.

The - very - second

the creative tea time

tickets went on sale.

And within mere minutes they were gone.

But not before I was able to get three for me and two friends.

I knew that everything about the day would be an absolute treat.

And it did not disappoint.

I loved every second of it.

The tea, and yummy food.

The creative bliss.

Just finishing … finishing...

Can I say that again, FINISHING

four crafts in one day

was so rewarding on so many levels.

And the fun time with girlfriends,

no interruptions…I'll say that one again too.
NO INTERRUPTIONS.
Ahh. Spoiled I tell you.

With all the supplies a girl could ever need.

Wearing a party dress and heels

and rolling up our sleeves to paint and glue gun

to our heart's desire.

Now that's my kind of girl's day out.

(photo courtesy creative tea time

And so many crafty kindred spirits

to teach and advise on things

I didn't know how to do.

The day was perfect.

And coming home to discover all the goodies

from all of the sponsors.

I felt so blessed.

Thank you creative tea time ladies

for all of your attention to detail.

None of it was taken for granted.

And the entire day was oh so therapeutic.

More than you will ever know!

You can bet my alarm will be set

when the next tea time tickets go on sale.

just for fun

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Tue, 17 Dec 2013 01:06:00 +0000

You all… I know I have been so very quiet here.

I have so much to say.

And yet feel it isn't the time.

So for now, these fun pictures capture some of where I am.

My dear, dear friend Hillary from capturing motherhood

has been the hands of Jesus to me and my family

and she gifted us with her time and talent to take some pictures.

This first one, there are many in a series that just make me

smile so very much.

I saw the pretty leaves and said, "Hey lets do this!"

Because throwing my hands in the air

and jumping with abandon

that's right where I am.

Letting go of so very much

and reaching with arms wide open to the God of angels armies

who is always by my side!

The baby whose birth we celebrate,

the man whose life saved ours.

The God who holds us up by His righteous right hand.

I pray this season you're able to strip away the unnecessary too.

To look up and rejoice over the only gift that matters.

"Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign:

Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son,

and she will call His name Immanuel.

Isaiah 7:14

The one to be called Immanuel,

God with us.

Do you feel Him with you?

Because He is.

Whether you sense it strongly,

or in a still small whisper.

Love came down at Christmas

for you, for me.

To be the God who is calling us to

draw near,

to reach up,

to hold onto Him

forevermore.

hard choices

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 20 Nov 2013 20:10:00 +0000

In life sometimes we have to make hard choices.

And we try, as hard as we might to avoid them.

But when God shows you the way,

you must just move.

Putting one foot in front of the other.

And obey.

That is where I've been.

I have been brought to such a place where I equate

it as feeling like I'm on remote control. God is holding

the remote and I'm literally just walking through the

next open door. And He is so clearly paving the way.

Putting people in my path, circumstances before me,

and making it so very clear.

I'm doing none of the analyzing and over thinking that

can be my nature. And it is so freeing.

In this strange and unchartered territory I feel so at peace.

And can count joys and blessings all around me.

I've been sick. Very sick for some time.

I'm still not well. I'm depleted and worn down.

And this led to a decision to make a literal move

for my children to an area where the school district is amazing.

It was a scary leap and one I didn't anticipate making so soon. But God's

hand has been all over every step of the way. And I feel so at peace.

They are thriving.

I see his confidence growing.

And her too.

And this one, well last night she spoke words I thought I may never hear.

She said, "I love reading." For a dyslexic child who has struggled so

very much, this progress is huge.

And I find my joy overflowing.

I am appreciating all the little things.

This neighborhood park.

The light.

The sense of community.

Oh the community.

I didn't even know what I was missing.

When I told my friend how amazing everyone has been here

she said, "It's like you're in the south. That's how they are in the south."

I've never known anything other than the bustle of the city where everyone

is kind of in their own world. I didn't know what it felt like to have people

reach out to help you with your kids, to help you with carpools, to bring over

muffins, and brownies, and give lend a helping hand.

I didn't know how much I was lacking, until it all landed in my lap.

And in this process I'm ever so grateful.

This sign in my very own driveway.

Literally telling me to SLOW

and reminding me that it

is safe enough for my children to play

right there in the street.

The beauty is everywhere.

The kindness of dear friends reaching out to help.

With meals, their time.

A listening ear, and prayer.

I'm learning to say ok to the help.

To admit I need it.

To accept that it's ok to not take care of it all.

And to feel the love of God through others' care.

It's almost too much to bear, but in a good way, you know.

God is speaking to me in so many ways.

Most clearly, that it is time to rest, and to heal.

And so that is where I am.

We are still very much living out of boxes.

And that is hard for me.

But I'm learning to let go of so very much.

To purge what isn't needed.

To peel off the layers of what wasn't working.

And to rest at His feet.

To learn again what it means to breathe.

To rebuild.

To dream.

To rise up.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come,

and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth

and thick darkness is over the peoples;

but the LORD rises upon you."

Isaiah 60:1-2

insta friday - a season of change

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sun, 06 Oct 2013 17:37:00 +0000

Oh how quiet I have been here.

Life has been full.

And though I've been on pause in many facets of my life.

Many others have been far from quiet.

And so my energy, prayers, concentration have been there.

One of the biggest changes is this little lady

went back to school this past week.

I prayed and labored and cried and prayed

and sought the Lord over this decision.

It was not an easy one to make.

But I knew it was time.

Time to admit that I am not the best teacher for her

right now. When we began this school year

officially on August 27th much of what she knew

from the last two years appeared to be gone.

And it was scary.

And I had to face the fact that I am

not trained in how to work around this.

I have help. A wonderful tutor, a language

therapist and an education therapist.

But I had to accept that the few hours a week

of additional help is not getting her where she needs to be.

So there is this very special school just ten minutes from us.

Where every child has dyslexia

or some form of a language based learning difference.

She is not different.

And every teacher is a trained special education teacher.

And they know just what to do when all the myriad

of challenges arise.

Her class size is 4 kids per teacher.

Broken down so that each group is all at the same learning stage.

So no one feels far behind all the others.

I knew about this school.

But I also knew it didn't start until 3rd grade.

However, in my feeling like I didn't know what else to do

I called.

Just to see it.

For the future.

And on that tour I learned this year they

went down to second.

So there's one class that is a 2/3 split.

Which is just perfect for her because

technically she should be in third.

But because of repeating kindergarten

she is doing 2nd grade work this year.

And so it felt like a gift.

I know the whole feeling that if God

calls you to something he'll equip you.

He'll fill in the gap.

But he also sends help.

And so I see this as a gift.

A life raft he has sent to us.

While last year homeschooling was such a beautiful experience.

This year was already proving to not be what's best for her.

I am trusting that great things are going to happen here

this year, and I'm just praying for the Lord to unlock doors.

My education therapist has guided me in decisions for the last three years.

She is on the dyslexia board and I trust her.

When she said this is such a crucial age.

This is when we need to get her over this hurdle

so that she doesn't slip further behind.

So here we are.

And this week overall, I'd say was a success.

There were some tears, and anxiety.

But she is happy.

And was so excited for bring your pet to school day.

She also did something for the first time ever.

Something many kids do years earlier.

She sat down and wrote and illustrated a little book.

And then read it to us at bedtime.

Just for fun.

You see these natural developmental things,

they're not fun when it's all so much labor.

But she did it, just because.

And that is a sign to me that things are working.

To say this decision has weighed heavy on my heart

is an understatement.

So when this little lady out of nowhere told me,

"You know you're a one million infinity times 134 cool mom"

it was just the encouragement I needed.

She is getting used to our days without her sister.

That has been hard too.

My instagram pics have been quiet too, so this will be quick.

We went to a beautiful beach baptism last week.

Played with friends.

I got a super cool Girl Scouts handbook from

1972 from one of the vintage sellers I follow

on instagram. Oh I just can't help myself.

It was 2.00 and I think will be so cute in the girls

room. Not to mention it's slightly sentimental for me.

It was published the year I was born, and I was a

girl scout for years with my mom as the leader.

I'm loving this sweet October owl she's working on

in art class.

And we finally connected with some dear friends

for much needed fellowship.

The kids had a candlelit dinner.

And afterwards we played spades while

being fueled by these yummy pumpkin spice chai lattes!

(the ladies won by the way!! hee hee....

this is like a three year ongoing rivalry)

Cheers to a new week beginning.

New promises.

And His ever present hand in all things.

I'm resting in knowing that I have

a God of angel armies by my side.

insta friday - catching up

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 20 Sep 2013 16:52:00 +0000

Oh it has been awhile hasn't it friends?

I have so much to say.

But for now no time to do so.

So, here is a little instagram recap of the last two weeks.

I'll start with school clothes.

They don't really need 'school clothes', but it's still fun for these girls to shop.

They like it much more than me. I am not a shopper.

But their dad promised them a new outfit.

And so it didn't matter that it has been in the 100's.

They're ready for fall and are going to dress like it.

I love their little styles.

And these pants, can I just get a pair in my size already?

Not only are they comfy looking, but the little bows.

School has been rougher this year than I expected. More on that soon.

I documented this moment because it was a peaceful one.

One where no one was upset or crying. Including me.

I'm only kind of joking here.

And this fur-baby of mine she took center stage a bit on my instagram feed.

The Rhonna app was free one day, so I had some fun playing around with it.

Love that squishy face.

And this is how she sleeps, all the time. It cracks me up. Not a care in the world.

She and my middle

one who is quite the animal whisperer they hang together a lot. And when Piper wants

her company, she'll literally bark at her til she joins her. She is super vocal in letting

us know she literally just wants our love. It's pretty sweet actually. Here they're

bird and squirrel watching. Never a dull moment I tell you.

Oh my, it's already starting to be too dark to see the sunrise on my way to my

spinning class. But for weeks I would be greeted by the most glorious display

of God's handiwork in the early morning. You just can't help but feel like it's going

to be a good day starting it out this way.

I've had some super happy mail lately.

I fell in love with these cute and necessary alphabet cards

from cottage industry's sweet shop.

She so kindly included a little surprise.

And you all must know by now that I LOVE

books. Used books, new books, vintage books especially.

And I also LOVE Tasha Tudor.

I follow quite a few vintage sellers on instagram.

And books are my weakness.

So when I happened to log on to see

Tasha Tudor's Christmas book "Take Joy"

just listed. And no one had claimed it yet.

OH I just had to.

She is one of my biggest inspirations

as an artist and a person.

I just think she was one amazing lady.

This book is filled with Christmas stories,

sheet music, recipes and neat little tidbits about

her own Christmas celebrations.

And imagine my delight when I opened it

to discover that inside she had signed the book herself.

It'll be fun to look through this year after year.

On to other things.

My husband takes the girls to run errands.

And texts me pictures like this.

My son tried out for a traveling baseball team

and the season has begun. So we're in full swing

with games and practices.

It's a whole new group of boys and families

and a whole new experience.

So far so good!

And they practice at a park where lots of people

are working out.

So the girls and I have decided to get some

exercise with Miss Piper too.

The table set and decorated by the girls.

And power outages, not so fun.

But making the most of it,

reading by flashlight.

And this truth is speaking to me right now.

"Our hearts are like a sensitive

photographers plate; in order to have God

revealed there, we must sit at His feet a long time."

Sometimes we have hard decisions to make.

I know I can feel at times like I'm not sure

where God's voice is. I don't hear it as clearly

as I'd like.

And so this fact, that sitting, just sitting at His feet.

for a "long time." It's important.

Not to rush or be rash.

But to make sure we're giving God time

to reveal himself in our heart.

It's a pretty beautiful thought

and something I know we need to practice.

And this bridge, it just makes me happy.

As does having kids over for dinner playdates,

with the chaos of racing cars and scooters spinning

through the house.

It takes me back to those toddler and preschool days.

When there weren't classes, and practices,

and homework.

Oh look at their joy.

I just love it.

family camping

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 23:08:00 +0000

We had one last hurrah for the summer.

A road trip, not too far away.

To the city of Carpinteria for some beach camping.

It was my girl's first time ever camping besides the backyard,

our first time camping as a family,

and my first time camping right across from the beach.

They were all pretty excited, Piper included.

Our adventures took us a short walk/bike ride away to the dog friendly beach.

And guess what, it was Piper's first time seeing the ocean.

It was pretty cool for everyone.

Relaxing and downright beautiful.

And then my adventurous boy doing what boys do

started jumping from those rocks, running around

and doing it again. I just said, "You probably shouldn't

be doing that, because you don't know what's under the

water there." He assured me it was fine.

And a moment later was screaming "crab, giant crab!"

with blood gushing from his ankle.

And I suspected he probably stepped on a sting ray.

This child has one of the highest pain thresholds.

He broke his arm clear through both bones without crying.

But he was writhing in pain and barely able to walk from this.

Fortunately we got him to the lifeguard headquarters

where they got the hot water ready and confirmed it was a sting ray wound.

We all learned a little science lesson that day.

The lifeguards informed us that the poison in the sting,

(which is really more of a deep puncture wound by the way)

is a protein and putting it in hot water cooks it like an egg,

it coagulates and is drawn out.

Pretty trippy.

And so for two hours they kept him there.

They let him shower and eat some cake.

Because his bravery called for some kind of treat, poor kid.

They said a fifteen year old girl earlier that day

was going into shock and throwing up from the pain.

And described it as being similar or worse than childbirth.

So he now knows about

the stingray shuffle.

And I think he also learned a hard lesson

that when Mom cautions about something,

she just might have good reason.

The pulling out of the poison took until

sunset, so we got to enjoy it from

the lifeguard station.

And then the view from our camp.

After dinner, the night called for s'mores.

And what they called the roasting wars to find the perfect 'golden delicious.'

The next day, my husband so graciously made a

starbucks run to go with breakfast.

It kind of helps that everything is walking distance away.

Despite not sleeping so super well

due to the family of five racoons climbing up and down the

tree above our heads and the nearby train causing our dog to howl

her head off, we still had a fabulous time.

The kids loved the park just a few steps away.

And I loved the walk through town.

Especially the fun antique shops!

A used book store was calling all of our names.

Each kid got to pick a book, at the price

of a dollar an inch.

I almost forgot to mention,

Piper's favorite part,

Squirrel hunting.

There were plenty just waiting to torment her.

Then we ventured for another trip to the ocean.

My son said he would not go in.

But eventually he did.

And all was well.

And last, but not least the day rounded out perfectly with a gorgeous sunset.

God did not disappoint.

All in all, it was a really beautiful

first time family camping experience

and a wonderful way to say goodbye to summer.

insta friday - alone

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sat, 31 Aug 2013 21:37:00 +0000

Since I last wrote you

the most glorious thing happened.

You see it has been a little dream of mine

to be in my house all alone

over more than a day.

To just be able to dig into

things that need to be organized

and work on those projects that you don't

start because you know you won't have time to finish

because of all the interruptions.

you know well what I'm talking about right.

Well, this dream, it happened.

For the first time in 11 1/2 years!

My husband was able to take my kids away for a long

weekend road trip last weekend.

And this left me

ALL ALONE

for four days.

And you know what.

It was kind of weird... at first.

I thought for sure I'd be doing a happy dance.

But the emptiness was kind of eery.

Until I got into a groove

organizing for the school year

prettying up my side of the office,

and painting away on custom orders.

This one, oh how honored I was to work with this family.

Their daughter has spina bifida.

Her mom contacted me months ago to see if I could

do a print of a girl in a wheelchair.

I pray a lot through these prints

and ask the Lord to lead me to the right

scripture.

This hillsong song just kept coming to me.

So I gave it to her as an option.

Which inspired her to ask for

lyrics from their daughter's favorite Christian band.

So this is the finished product.

I'm so very excited for them to gift it to her.

It's so awesome to be able to be a part of something

you know will just make someone's day and to know

it was all for God's glory.

Meanwhile, the kids were

having a blast in Arizona, riding around,

rock admiring

and collecting.

Oh and killing wasps. That's a wasp zapper

thingy. Youngest daughter was very upset.

Saying wasps are God's creatures too.

Love her heart.

But still don't like wasps.

Especially these Arizona sized wasps.

On my last morning alone I had definitely

gotten used to the quiet.

And was soaking every last second up.

And within minutes, that clean, empty room

turned into this.

So we begin again.

We had one last hurrah for summer

and went to sky high.

They nearly had the place to themselves.

That was pretty cool.

something looks wrong with that picture up there.

And this week..school began....more on all of that soon.

It's a little surreal having all three home this year.

And I haven't quite found my footing yet

with our schedule and how to manage it all.

Can I be quite honest, I've already shut myself

in my room and cried.

Cause this isn't for the faint of heart.

My oldest is actually being so surprisingly good and independent

and going the extra mile.

The girls are sweet and hard workers too.

But having a struggling learner with dyslexia

and working memory problems.

It's just hard.

Hard for her.

And hard for me.

And we've had some hard days.

So if you think of it,

keep my sweet middle girl in prayer.

I'm praying the Lord will break through walls in a big and mighty way.

Oh and endurance for me.

Endurance and good health.

Cause with God's help

I gotta keep this ship running!

is it friday already again?

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 23 Aug 2013 18:35:00 +0000

I know I shouldn't complain.

Fridays are fun days.

But my oh my, the weeks are just speeding by.

School begins for us on Tuesday.

I'm excited.

And nervous.

And in full planning mode.

Trying to wrap my brain around schedules.

And three.

Three kids at home for school this year.

And how to attend to their needs.

And one on one time.

And how to keep the others occupied

while one or more need that one on one time.

Without losing their attention.

It's enough to send my heart racing a bit.

Cause I have one who if you lose her, you lose her big time.

And the emotions and the reeling back in. It's tough.

And it triggers anxiety in me.

Which is good for no one.

So I try to keep it to a minimum.

And then I realize that I may not be able to wrap my

brain around how all of this will work until I'm just in it.

And I find my way as it unfolds.

Because so often we can plan and schedule and map out

and then we realize our plans don't really work.

But my tendency is to map out.

Because my brain needs a map.

I like guidelines.

I'm a rule kind of girl.

Tell me the directions, and I'll see it through.

Every last detail.

And right now, with our new curriculums

and adding a SIXTH grader.

My brain is feeling a bit like it needs to read the map.

But I've learned I need to be flexible with that map.

Because life happens.

And life very rarely stays the way you imagine.

And that I think has been a very important lesson in my life as a mom.

In learning to let things go, and to go more with the flow.

So my planning nature is planning, but with the caveat that

all those plans have wavy margins and wiggle room.

Cause with three young-ish wigglers, a dog, a trio of chickens,

doorbells, spills, hunger, fights, tears, make ups, you know, life.

With interruptions galore we need lots of wiggle room

so that my well laid plans can be a guide, but a guide

with breathing room.

And space to play, so that prayerfully we have margins in our schedule

to keep that peaceful pace I so desperately want to hold onto this year.

So ... here is a little bit of my insta friday update.

I didn't do much posting this week I've realized. But it's ok.

Life has been busy getting organized!

And making things pretty.

I think I mentioned a bit ago that I am loving

the vintage sellers on instagram.

I came in at the very end of this insta sale.

And these were the last vintage postcards being sold.

I initially thought that I'd put a couple in my daughter's

room. But that girl with the bird in the bonnet.

She just felt too right in this little spot on my side of the office.

I can get completely side tracked in organizing with making things pretty.

And you know what, I'm ok with that. Because having little bits of inspiration

fuel my creativity and help me be more productive. Yea, I may be justifying a bit.

But it's true, don't you think?

Soon I'll share our curriculum choices for this year.

Things have evolved and changed a bit even from where

I thought we were heading.

But that's ok.

It's all part of that unpredictable life thing.

Here's one thing I'm super excited about for my son.

A study for just him and I and to do together.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that

at the end of this, it'll be powerful and he'll have

learned a lot. And that is what he is hungry for.

He loves studying the bible and sometimes

gets so frustrated when things are dumbed down for kids.

So that is part of why I chose this.

I know it won't be dumbed down at all and it'll

equip him with solid backing for when he is challenged.

And if I have one goal for him out of homeschooling.

Well, I have two.

One is to regain his love of learning.

The second is to channel his already attorney/lobbyist

strengths into being a warrior for Christ.

There are things about his personality that can be exhausting

as a mom.

But I've always said I know God has made him

this way for a purpose.

And it's my job to stand strong,

unemotional,

and to channel his strengths and determination

in positive directions.

Oh that and I also always pray

Lord help me train him well for his wife.

Let me help him see the hows and whys women

need what they need and why they work the way they work.

Because we are confusing creatures I know.

But being understanding and compassionate to all of that.

It's important.

But I digress.

Let's get back to insta friday!

My sister lives in New York.

Sigh.

And we see her now only a couple of times a year.

She came out for a visit with her son, husband, and his brother and sister.

My parents came up and we made a trip to the Getty

for their family concert and a picnic.

It was a beautiful day.

And my kids LOVE playing with their cousin.

Little discoveries around my house... a baby

hawk making lots of noise.

And a mama swooping around

quite a bit.

Commotion in the kitchen led me to

find her where she very much knew

she shouldn't be.

Busted.

Look at her trying not avoid eye contact.

And this guy has begun physical therapy for his

wrist. From the break and the sprain that

they thought could have been a fracture or

a torn ligament (praise God it wasn't) he's

just a bit weak. So he has to strengthen it

before he gets the green light to play sports.

Which I know is killing him.

But should be motivation to

do the work!

Meanwhile she's trying to show me

how strong her hand is.

Putting your face into it,

that seems to help.

Happy Friday everyone!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

insta friday

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 21:41:00 +0000

Since I left you last week..

We enjoyed the beach with my sweet friend

Hil from capturing motherhood

and her gang.

It was a later in the day kind of trip.

While most were leaving,

we were just arriving

for a picnic dinner and plenty of play.

I couldn't think of any place I'd rather be.

We took a trip to the Getty

as the sun was setting.

I loved this exhibit.

And coming out to the beautiful crescent moon.

I start every Monday with a very early morning

work out.

This week many schools began and so

the LA traffic has increased dramatically.

Sitting at the light I was thinking about

two mottos I want to hold onto right now.

You can't be comfortable and courageous.

So here's to

UNCOMFORTABLE COURAGE!

And as all of the hustle and bustle picks up,

don't get caught up in the race.

Keep the pace of peace.

Remember my getaway alone?

My pace of peace.

I don't want to lose it as the

school year starts and the schedules fill in.

In fact, I'm really trying to look at how

to simplify our routine.

And cut out where we can.

Especially being on the road.

This week has been filled

with playdates, and sleepovers,

coloring,

and swimming.

And really super creepy discoveries.

Which led to a call to an exterminator.

Who'll use natural oils.

But will help me get rid of these buggers.

That are literally giving me the creepy crawlies.

And I've been educated on all kinds of things.

Like that is a brown widow.

I've been finding and killing these eggs since the spring.

The discovery of this one when a friend went

to put on our goggles. ACK.

NOT GOOD.

They had been hanging on the pool fence

for only a few days.

That's how fast this happened.

Ok. Moving on.

Cause I'm gonna start itching if

I talk more about this.

We've been running errands.

Gearing up for the school year.

I'm not gonna lie.

Sometimes it's hard seeing pictures of the kids

my older daughter started kindergarten with

as they begin third grade.

I loved that school.

And I had no idea at the time that we'd

be saying goodbye to it.

No idea that two years later I'd be homeschooling.

And even though I know we're where we're supposed to be.

Sometimes my heart aches for the fact

that things are so tough for her.

And that it all didn't turn out in the traditional way.

But then her younger sister will bust out

with the most profound statements.

And my heart melts a little.

Here's what I posted with this instagram pic.

==================================

This sweet girl is always sharing her thoughts.

This morning her take on homeschooling.

Of course she doesn't know any different.

But I love her take on it.

"I love homeschooling because you're

learning the same things,

but in a more easy kid way.

Like you learn in little steps

instead of big steps that are too much.

But then all those little steps make big steps

til it's one humongous step

and you know a lot."

I've never relayed anything like this to her before.

I think it's her interpretation of what her sister

experienced in school vs. homeschool.

===================================

Each Monday this summer her sister has had an appointment with

her old ed therapist. Her office is half way to the beach

so we've made it our routine to head there afterwards.

It's a routine I'll be sad to see go.

I finally got my printer back from the shop.

And was able to get my orders off in the mail.

It's always such a good feeling getting caught up.

Although I'm never really fully caught up.

I discovered this cracked egg ...

which made me look up.

Didn't even realize there was a nest there.

Just hoping that baby cracked out himself

and didn't die?

My youngest wanted me to find a couple

of old pictures for a locket of hers.

Scrolling through iphoto.

Coming across these pictures and more,

it just made me ache.

How has the time gone so fast already?

Oh I just want to squeeze her.

And this.

My son has been through many phases.

This was the cut paper, use wrapping ribbon,

tape and scissors and create.

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

And you know what.

He was mighty creative.

Seeing this reminded me

that he has always been 100% into

whatever he is into.

Hmmmm...

Hoping to channel that into school this year.

Have I told you all that he's

joining us in our homeschool adventure this year???

I dont' think I have.

The decision has been made for quite some time.

But I think I haven't had the energy to really journal about it here.

So I'll be doing first grade, second grade and sixth grade with them.

Eventually I'll fill you all in on curriculum choices etc.

I'm excited, and scared.

But God will equip.

I know that.

It will be an adventure for sure.

School starts August 26th for us.

The countdown is on.

But before I leave you today.

I must share this show our girls presented for us.

We were given tickets,

were given our opening greeting

which included the rules of picture taking.

"Two during the show and three during the finale."

And then the rose fairy and snow fairy

serenaded us with God songs and interpretive dance.

Do you remember putting on shows for your parents?

I do.

It was fabulous.

And this was her stance when telling her dad,

"Yes he could take a work call,

but he must hurry up and come back

for the finale."

Here's to a happy Friday and weekend!

insta friday - summer

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 16:58:00 +0000

Oh insta friday.

I have neglected you.

So this is two weeks in one.

Sort of all jumbled together.

First up.

Creative summer boredom busters.

Fort building.

Run, Roll, Repeat.

Again, and again, and again.

Swirling chalk and water together.

Some kind of art therapy.

Parties and celebrations.

Two in one day.

A super fun hawaiian theme birthday

with a candy shop and water play by day.

To a beautiful baby dedication

in the evening.
My dearest friend from childhood puts
on the most personal, and special
baby dedications in her backyard.
Moved to tears I was.
The good kind.
The joy and blessing of a baby.
And the miracle of everything.
With readings, prayers, song.
The Holy Spirit was so present.
And I'm just so happy for the joy this little boy has
brought their whole family.

Next up, hiking with that special baby, his brother, and mama for a picnic dinner at sunset.

Honestly, one of the most beautiful skies I've seen in a long time.

My instagram feed was filled with evidence that others thought so too.

Thank you Lord for your glorious artistry.

Your wonders never cease to amaze.

My husband and son spent a few days away.

A boys trip.

Doing all those things boys like to do.

While they were away, the girls and I spent the day

in Newport and headed out to sea in hopes of spotting a blue whale.

It was a sort of final field trip to our

year long study on sea animals.

The day was pretty amazing.

It took a long time to find the whales.

But dolphins.

Hundreds would swim and play around our boat.

My pictures do not do it justice.

It was absolutely magical.

And then finally, six and a half miles from shore.

We found them.

Two great blue whales.

The largest animal in the world.

Again, my little cell phone pic

doesn't quite capture the awe.

The day rounded out perfectly with more

shell collecting on the beach and a big fat

slice of New York style pizza.

Some random bits of the last week.

Happy Mail!

This bracelet, reminding me of

one of my favorite scriptures

Romans 15:13.

May the God of hope fill you with all

joy and peace

as you trust in him,

so that you may overflow with hope

by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I had been waiting til the day

farm girl paints re-opened her shop.

Etsy sent me an email she had.

I quickly placed my order.

And alas, it was actually an etsy error.

She really wasn't open yet, but she still

honored the order.

And although I was in no hurry to receive it.

It made for a happy mail day that it came so quickly.

This mail makes me almost as happy too.

Printer ink.

It's a constant necessity for my etsy shop.

And when one runs out, the whole thing shuts down.

I can't get it locally, so the mail is my friend.

This little lady and her perch.

This is her favorite spot in the house.

I just love how lanky her legs are

and how cozy she looks in such an awkward way.

And more randomness.

Can I just say, I hate my home phone.

Really, truly.

Drives me crazy.

Half the time it's not on the base.

So when I actually find it, it's dead.

And this dog,

it sets her off.

With a high pitch howl.

So the chaos that ensues while I'm trying to find

it and she's bellowing at the top of her lungs.

It's enough to make me want to just get rid of it.

Pallet randomness.

It's a pretty one isn't it?

My daughter spotted it for me.

I have them trained well.

But alas I'm not allowed to bring anymore stray pallets home.

I'm still waiting for help with the others I've scavenged.

But this one, she sure was pretty, and it was hard to leave her behind.

We began this week with the beach

and are ending it with another trip to the shore.

I think I've said it before.

It's my happy place.

So I'll take every chance I can to

soak in these summer days.

broken

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Fri, 02 Aug 2013 16:54:00 +0000

The interesting thing about being broken is it isn't a once and for all thing.

It can happen again, and again, and yet again.

I typically am a cheerleader for the broken.

Professing to friends, it's good. It is.

Because from the broken, God is so near.

It's where you stop striving.

You hand it all over.

And you are built back up so much stronger.

Have courage, I say.

This is a good place to be.

At the end of yourself.

I don't say it quite this abruptly.

But you get the picture.

I've walked these roads.

And I've come through the other side.

Stronger.

Better.

Closer to God.

The problem is.

That broken place,

when you're right smack in the middle of it.

It doesn't feel good.

Not one bit at all.

The hope.

The joy.

The peace of the Lord.

In moments it can feel far away.

This summer I hit that place.

That absolute end, broken place.

The I can't take one more issue, one more fight,

one more problem.

The little, the big.

All of it, piled one on top of the other.

This past year has been a marathon of sorts.

A race of endurance.

Problem is, the summer has been the same.

And my resources were dwindling.

Down to nothing.

I had nothing more to give.

And I hit the wall.

The messes, the chaos, the fighting, the unresolved everything.

There were so many things making me feel like I was unraveling.

Things that have felt unstable, uncertain, overwhelming.

I'm the first to profess turning it all over.

Resting in God.

But there are times when you collapse and you forget how.

I texted my husband, who has been away working.

I'm breaking.

Breaking.

Really, truly, I am depleted.

When you get home I need to be alone.

I need to get away.

And so he said ok, Monday you can go.

With just a couple of days notice

I started thinking, where would I like to go.

Where could I go.

What do I want to do?

Topping my list was Ojai.

A place of rest for me.

One of many memories.

One where I prayed that I could quiet my soul.

And where the Lord would meet me.

Right where I was. Ugliness and all.

The minute I rounded into town I felt it.

Like a deep breath.

A sigh, an exhale.

A washing over me.

Beckoning me to calm.

And I made a self-imposed rule,

not to check my email,

instagram,

facebook.

Ok I slipped a little at first.

It's hard decompressing when we're used to this

everything at your fingertips pace.

I also forced myself to not be too friendly.

That sounds bad I know.

But so often I start talking.

I love meeting people.

Learning about their lives, their stories.

Listening and caring.

But I knew the more I did that,

the more I'd prevent myself from going deeper

into the quiet I so desperately needed.

So I sort of made myself a recluse.

Creating my own silent retreat.

Just me and Jesus.

Because it takes time to be still.

And time to hear.

Lately at home, in the little moments where I try to refuel.

I'm too often, too soon pulled away by the needs,

the dog, the chicken coop,

the early waking child, the laundry, the dishes.

I'm not focused.

And I can feel it, the absence of the quiet.

The absence of oneness with the One who gives strength.

And it's my own fault.

Life circumstances.

Not His.

Because He's always calling.

Each day, this devotional was absolutely

so fitting for right where I was.

I know full well, this was not an accident.

"Your mind will wander from Me,

but the question is how far you allow it to wander.

An anchor on a short rope

lets a boat drift only slightly

before the taut line tugs the boat back

toward the center.

Similarly, as you drift away from Me,

My Spirit within you gives a tug,

prompting you to return to Me."

(excerpt from Jesus Calling 7.29)

My breaking was bringing me back to the center.

The spirit was tugging me back to Him.

This mom journey, it's an interesting thing.

The more my life has turned to caring for others

I realize it takes getting away for me to remember what it feels like to just be me.

Just me.

A woman, a child of God.

Not a mom, a wife, a teacher,

not a chauffeur, a scheduler, or a chef.

Not a researcher of all problems presented,

not a planner,

nor a keeper of appointments.

Just me.

A girl who likes nature and tea,

sunsets and poetry.

A girl who thinks deeply and feels strongly.

A girl who studies colors

and subtle songs.

A girl who sometimes feels like a bird

who wants to fly, but is caged by

all the emergencies.

A girl who feels guilty even writing these words.

But this day. This day I woke to think,

what would I like to do today?

This one full day, dedicated to just the things that fill my soul.

Briskly hiking through town up into the hills,

a glorious way to welcome the morning.

The views of the valley below, the rows and rows

of neatly lined orchards

revealed as the foggy layers dissolved away.

Breathtaking beauty.

He called again.

"Worship ME in the beauty of holiness. I created beauty to declare the existence of My holy Being. A magnificent rose, a hauntingly glorious sunset, oceanic splendor - all these things were meant to proclaim My Presence in the world....How precious are My children who are awed by nature's beauty; this opens them up to My holy Presence."

(excerpt from Jesus Calling 7.30)

I felt the opening to His holy presence.

This hike lasted over two-hours.

I just kept going, higher and higher.

My muscles stretched, blood flowing strong, the swift walk breathed life into my lungs.

And I returned hungry, just in time to make breakfast at the charming B&B.

I like learning about the history of a place.

That brick wall behind the stove, it's original to this historic building.

This site, was the location of the town's first one room school house in 1874.

Then belonging to the mayor, then an extended stay hotel before

becoming a bed and breakfast.

To think of the heritage, the lives lived out inside these walls.

I splurged on a day at the spa at one of the most beautiful Inns.

A place that holds many memories.

Through the years we've celebrated anniversaries,

early ones to milestones,

trips with our four legged first baby bella,

and babymoons.

I didn't anticipate all these visits, snapshots of time gone by to come flooding in,

flashing before my eyes.

It made me both sentimental and sad.

The passing of time.

But I tell myself you're making new memories today.

A prayerful retreat alone.

Bathing yourself with healing balm for your soul.

To spend the day

walking the grounds,

breathing in the lavender,

drinking the infused water,

to read, to nap,

to draw.

To think, to dream,

to be inspired.

To just take care of you.

Peace.

We're promised it

by our Heavenly Father.

But why sometimes is it so hard to find?

The swirling and whirling of life's demands.

It takes pulling ourselves out of it all sometimes.

Giving space for the quiet.

In order to hear.

To really hear.

What was happening to me

is I couldn't stop the spinning.

I couldn't be still long enough

to hear.

And I was starving.

I was trying.

And striving.

But it wasn't sinking deep enough.

Or lasting long enough.

But in my wandering

through the old and new,

the quaint and quirky

I found without an agenda,

my only goal was to go where God would lead me,

and to rest in Him.

And I felt more free.

I drove to a place I had been before.

Many years ago.

It's called meditation mount.

It's all about quieting the spirit.

Being that this is Ojai,

I know that this mount isn't dedicated to the Lord.

But rather all kinds of meditation.

That doesn't mean I can't claim it for Jesus.

And rejoice in His beauty, His creation.

And seek Him right there in the peace of meditation mount.

I know that He is well acquainted with mounts.

And the need to withdraw to quiet places.

And I just wanted to sit and seek Him.

I once was told by a bible study teacher to practice

just being with Jesus for 15 minutes.

Don't talk to him.

Don't think.

Don't distract yourself.

It's so much harder to do than it seems.

To remain completely blank.

To stop your mind.

But I sat for a long, long time.

I listened

to the whir of the hummingbird's wings,

the rustle of the lizard,

the chirp of the birds,

their varied voices,

the buzzing of a bee,

the breeze of the air.

I felt the pressure of the warmth on my skin

shift to the bristle of the cool wind.

I took in the large expanse,

and the minute detail.

And He called to me again.

Right where I was.

Do you see the shadows from the tree's leaves

dancing on the page?

Smiling with this message, meant just for me.

"Slow down your pace of living for a time.

Quiet your mind in My Presence.

Then you will be able to hear Me

bestowing the resurrection blessing:

Peace be with you."

(excerpt from Jesus Calling 7.31)

I dug deeper and deeper into the Truth,

starting with those readings listed, and the ones all around them.

I saw things with new eyes.

"being strengthened with all power

according to his glorious might

so that you may have great endurance and patience."

Colossians 1:11

Lessons to bring back with me

for myself,

for my family.

A fresh word of hope and healing.

"all things have been created through him

and for him.

He is before all things,

and in him all things hold together.

Colossians 1:16

And I walked away from there

with a palpable feeling of Peace.

An enveloping.

A slower step,

a calmer breath,

a warmth of protection.

I didn't,

I don't

want it to end.

Driving down from the mount,

the one lane road that led to two,

and then the highway to the freeway.

I didn't want to accelerate.

It was almost painful to reach the speed limit.

I didn't want to go the pace of the world.

I wanted to keep this pace of rest, of breath.

So the question is,

how do I keep this slower speed

in the middle of a city, a time

where everything is racing?

How do I hold onto that mount feeling of enveloping peace

while my circumstances are swirling.

How do I keep centered in Him.

In the every day, minute to minute chaos that can ensue.

For one, I know it's holding onto this feeling.

Drawing on it.

Remembering it.

And getting on my knees every time I feel the swirling

taking over.

To pull back to center.

To invite Him into every single challenge.

Every single detail.

To pray, and pray, and pray some more.

To carve out the quiet space I so crave.

To give myself enough time to quiet my mind in His presence.

Enough to really experience His resurrection blessing.

"Peace be with you."

insta friday - time for a little catching up

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Sat, 27 Jul 2013 05:17:00 +0000

Oh insta-friday, what would I do without you reminding me to blog.

Hello to those of you still checking in.

And happy mid-summer.

My it is going too fast.

Too, too fast.

I'm needing to plan

for the upcoming homeschool year.

Lots of decisions.

It's exciting, and scary, and overwhelming all at once.

And I don't think I'm rested yet.

I will be sneaking away for a break shortly.

A much, much needed break.

the trail of life

noreply@blogger.com (Jackie) — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 01:18:00 +0000

Some times, well lots of times,

most of the time.

I need to get outside.

My kids need it too.

So on this day we hit the trails.

There's so much I don't take the time to write.

Thoughts. Feelings. Ponderings.

My mind is always working.

It's both a blessing and a curse.

But so often I think in metaphors.

And this trail.

It's a lot like life.

There are ups and downs.

Sometimes it's nice to be alone.

And sometimes it's fun to be together.

Sometimes it's your turn to lead, to teach, to blaze the open trail.

And sometimes it's your turn to follow.

To learn.

And sometimes you just need to take a rest.

Even dig your heels in awhile.

And stay.

When you're thirsty, drink.

Both literally and spiritually.

Even pour that refreshment right over you.

Soak it all in.

And once you've rested awhile,

when you know it's time.

You get up and you start climbing again.

Making it to the top,

it's always worth it.

But the high of the mountain top,

it is never meant to last forever.

And it's time to head back down.

Sometimes it's slippery.

Sometimes it's hard.

It helps to think positively.

Tell yourself you are strong.

You are brave.

You are courageous.

You can do this.

And sometimes when it gets too hard.

Friends are there to help.

To hold you through tough times.

And see you through to the finish line.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded

by such a great cloud of witnesses,

let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles.

And let us run with perseverance

the race marked out for us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus,

the pioneer and perfecter of our faith."

Hebrews 12:1-2