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Although many of you have already been to Union Square, I assure you that it’s a much more beautiful place around the winter season. The entire area is lit up with well-decorated lighting and Christmas ornaments to really put you and your date in a jolly mood. There are also many things to check out such as city views, various restaurants, events, and shopping opportunities. To make your night extra special, here are few recommendations!

Union Square Ice Rink

Classic and modern buildings create an unique atmosphere surround the Union Square Ice Rink. With festive decorations surrounding the rink, the place becomes picturesque, almost like a scene from a movie. For the best experience, I strongly recommend checking out the rink after sunset. For your convenience, here’s the 411:

Union Square Ice Rink
Open Hours = 10:30 AM – 11:30 PM (until January 16, 2012)
Tickets = $10 per session
Sessions = 90 minutes (starts on every even hour)
Skates Rental = $5
More information at http://www.unionsquareshop.com/UnionSquareIceRink.html

Emporio Rulli and The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf

As the weather gets colder, it is always a good idea to grab a cup of coffee. But, Peet’s Coffee and Tea and Starbucks are getting just too boring. So here are some better alternatives.

Emporio Rullli is located in Union Square. Here, you can drink your coffee, chat with your partner, and watch people ice skate all in one place. Making it the perfect place to warm up and to share some laughter. Although their coffee is delicious, the Venetian Hot Chocolate is something definitely worth checking out. It is rich, flavorful, and simply amazing!

The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is located near the Four Seasons Hotel on Market St. Since most tables for Emporio Rulli are outside, it may be too cold on typical SF day. If the weather turns out to be freezing, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf is a great getaway. This place is cozy, quaint, and most importantly, warm! So it is the perfect place to sit down and enjoy a warm drink. The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf’s Vanilla Latte is outstanding – I assure you that it’ll instantly become your all-time favorite.

Seasons Bar and Lounge and The Cheesecake Factory

When you are out on a date, a restaurant is almost a must. Eating is something that everybody enjoys and a restaurant with delicious food and jaw-dropping interior make for a perfect setting. Here are my top two recommendations:

Seasons Bar and Lounge is located inside of the Four Seasons Hotel. Although the food is bit pricey, the experience will be quite memorable. Their phenomenal interior designs truly reflects their 5-star hotel rating. There’s something about the combination of luxurious marble flooring and an spacious window view of the city that makes this a truly fantastic experience! Their Lychee Martini and Duck Fat Burger come quite highly recommended, so be sure to give them a shot! As a cautionary tip, they do not take reservations.

The Cheesecake Factory is located on the 8^th floor of Macy’s. If either you or your partner has not paid this place a visit yet, then this is the place to check out together! The restaurant embodies an upscale casual dining concept.  It has an older-world ambiance – with dimmed golden lights, making it resemble the likes of a palace. However, it is usually over-crowded, especially when you don’t have a reservation. So be sure to put your name on the wait-list and shop around Macy’s while waiting to dine. It is relatively inexpensive compared to the Seasons Bar, but do not make the mistake of underestimating as your check may quickly add up! The food here is very portionable so be sure to save some room for their specialty – their wonderful cheesecakes! The Tiramisu Cheesecake is by far my personal favorite – it’s deliciously sweet, but not too overpowering.

Try these recommendations to make your night special. Of course, there are also an abundance of things to see and do around Union Square, so whatever you do, be sure to have fun!

Here’s an idea. To spice things up and get out of the city, try taking a night drive up to your nearest skyline. The drive up may have many sharp turns and bring you to several near-death experiences, but that’s all part of the thrill! It will all be worth it once you reach your destination – a beautiful and breath-taking view of the city lights with clear skies, away from the blanketing light pollution, to see the night’s stars.

But what do you do once you get up there? Hopefully you’ve brought some blankets with you. That way, you and your date can cuddle up on the hood of your car, which will already be fairly warm from the drive up. If you would rather not sit on the hood of your precious car, then you can either stand or bring camping chairs. As a fair warning, camping chairs will ruin the intimacy since the both of you will be in separate seats which wouldn’t allow for efficient cuddling, if any at all. Another good thing to bring along with you would be some snacks. Who doesn’t love snacks? There’s no need to bring a full-course meal, but here’s a list of some great food items to bring up:

• A thermos of hot chocolate or whatever hot drink both of you fancy, such as tea or coffee.
• A thermos of some comforting, but not too heavy, soup. I recommend that it isn’t heavy just in case you or your date get nauseous from all of the turns on the drive down.
• Typical snacks such as chips or crackers just as a back up for if either of you get the munchies but aren’t hungry enough for other foods you may have brought.
• Fruits! Fruits are always great at any time. Try chocolate covered fruits if you want to be romantic or fancy.
• Bottles of water.

Don’t limit yourself to these though! Get creative. Bring up foods that you and your date would enjoy.

Once you’ve got all of these things settled, this would be an opportune time to have an intimate talk with your date to find out more about them and become closer. Have talks about your aspirations, tell stories from your childhood, ask about their favorites, or anything to get a conversation flowing. This is a suitable way for new couples to get to know each other better and for couples who have been together for a while to spend time together if you have both been too busy.

Some final tips and pointers:

• Always drive safely. Follow speed limit signs and use high beams if necessary since you will be driving in the mountains. Be sure to remember to briefly switch your high beams off if you see another driver coming from the opposite direction until they are past you.
• There is typically no signal up in the mountains so you won’t have to worry about being disrupted from a phone call. However, because it’s highly likely that you won’t have signal, be sure to boot up your GPS directions before hand or print them out from home.
• To get you more comfortable with the route, you should consider driving up during the day with some friends a couple times.
• Have a full tank of gas, just to be safe.
• Check the weather! You don’t want to drive up there and have it be covered in fog or suddenly be caught in the rain. Also, make sure that it isn’t too cold up there or else the both of you will be freezing.
• Prepare the hot foods right before leaving and package them appropriately so that it stays warm for the drive.
• Remember to bring blankets and dress warmly!
• Most importantly, have fun, relax, and make it memorable.

Related posts:

1. Show Me The Money!
2. Barbecuing Romance
3. Dating Spotlight: A Day in the City

Here’s a brief preview of what you can expect with Wink University:

• Relationship Tips/Advice
• Flirting Tips/Advice
• Dating Spotlights
• Health & Diet
• Fashion
• Beauty
• Wink Reports

• Tall
• Handsome/Beautiful
• Happy
• Athletic
• Funny
• Smart
• Dependable
• Great listener
• Accomplished
• Independent
• Articulate
• Sensitive
• Strong
• Wealthy
• Spontaneous
• Nice
• Charming
• Mature

Do you know what makes the list above and others like it useless? Perspective. One person’s “strong” is another person’s grotesque muscles. I’ve known people who had a list and I’m sure you’ve caught Hollywood’s version — the desperate dater with no luck finding the “one” — and in both cases, successful relationships don’t ever result from a completed checklist. Then how do you know when you’ve met a great match?

Butterflies
Your body will let you know when it feels an affinity for another person. Your pulse will pick up, your hands may get clammy, and you will feel butterflies in your stomach. This is a dump of chemicals that your body releases in reaction to an attraction — we have talked about physical attraction before in Through the Looking Glass. Now just because your body stands up and says YES does not mean that this is your “soul mate” or the “one” but you can use the physical hint as a suggestion to pursue emotional and intellectual connections.

Flying Time
You both had so much to talk about on your first date, second date and even the third date; so much that you cannot seem to keep track of the time. You are blown away by how much you share in common or your ability to compromise and try new things. These conversations challenge and inspire you and make you want to spend more time with this person. Whenever you are together, you are relaxed and enjoy sharing the same space. It is this feeling of being in tune with someone else that allows a relationship to grow as you challenge each other to keep things fresh. No relationship will be without its bumps but it is great when you are able to sail over those bumps together.

Strong Foundation
When you share time together, you feel safe, respected, and cared for in all the ways that meet your fundamental needs. Having a few core values that match up will also help strengthen a relationship’s foundation. Does this mean if you are liberal you cannot date a conservative? Certainly not. This may even lend itself to some interesting conversations. Core values will include things like honesty, trust, respect and how you apply them to a relationship. An example is whether to be in a committed relationship or to date other people. You may each have very specific ideas about how your relationship should look. The trick is to discuss this and other similar topics and see where you both are at. You may even find out something new about yourself in the process. Some other topics related to core values that may come up include: babies, marriage, family, politics, religion, cheating, or drug/alcohol use.

Realistic Checklist

1. Is my body saying yes?
2. Are my core values being matched or respected?
3. Do we share enough in common to enjoy extended time together?
4. Can we work through difficult conversations or arguments?
5. Do I want to introduce this person to friends or family?
6. Am I a respected and an equal member of this relationship?

You can add any questions that help you understand what you are looking for or that line up with cultural or religious values important to you. Just remember that if you are expecting to meet and date Ashton Kutcher or Scarlett Johansson, you will be spending a lot of time flying solo.

Dating is a lot like looking for a job in a crappy economy — you look for all the best traits in a person or job and then try to sell yourself as a good fit but can end up feeling frustrated and depressed at all the un-returned phone calls. You’ll need to be more innovative and think outside the box to find that “perfect” connection. Ditch the list of adjectives and keep the Realistic Checklist in your pocket instead!

Related posts:

1. Becoming the Center of Attention
2. The Gloves are Off
3. Every Exit is an Entry Somewhere

Monkeyin’ Around
The easiest way to get to the SF Zoo is by car but you can take public transit and get a discount on your ticket into the zoo when you present your bus ticket. If you do drive you will need to be prepared to pay $8 during weekdays or $10 on the weekends to park or splurge on valet parking. Tickets into the zoo are $15, general admission, making this not a cheap date but not super expensive, ether. You can save money by packing a picnic lunch, which will not only save you money but also save you from the not so great food sold at the many fast food eateries inside the park.

If you plan on busting out your photographer skills, make sure to bring backup batteries because purchasing in the zoo stores means you will be shelling out an arm and leg. Some other things to remember:

1. Wear comfy shoes
2. Be prepared with layers (it can go from cold and cloudy to sunny and hot quickly)
3. Put on sunscreen or a hat

How you see the animals is up to you but the zoo provides you with a map and schedule of when zookeepers will be at a specific spot speaking about the animals. If you want to learn more about the lemurs or the anaconda than what is provided on the brief plaques, check the schedule and meet up with the zoo keepers. The zoo hours are straddling the middle of the day, which means many of the animals may be in their napping mode. However, even while sleeping many of these animals are still magnificent.

Must see exhibits:

• African lion and lioness are breathtaking!
• Gorillas with the Silverback male poised as the man in charge and his son, Hasani, romping about, is a wonderful contrast in family roles.
• Nile hippopotamus, when snoozing in the pool, can be right next to the fence which will give you an up close view of this amazing animal!
• Lemurs are a special exhibit and adorable when they are all snuggled together under the heat lamps.

Another World
Tucked away in the city is an oasis of yummy food, delectable teas, and a relaxing atmosphere. Om Shan Tea is a five minute walk from the 16th Street Mission BART station and there is metered parking on 14th street, if you are driving. The food menu is classified as organic, raw, vegetarian/vegan, and absolutely tasty! You can build your own salad, mix sides, order soups — all prepared from scratch when you order. Remember this is a space where people come to relax and recharge so if you are in a hurry you will want to come back another time. While you are waiting for your food you can enjoy the tea you picked from their large selection. If you are a newbie to the tea scene be sure to ask the friendly waitstaff for some tips.

They have a variety of board games you can play while enjoying the slower pace or check out the selection of books if you are alone. Om Shan Tea also hosts live music, dance, poetry, and other events in their space — a schedule of events can be found at their website. We had a great time playing Mancala, sipping our scrumptious tea, and did I mention the food was yummy?

Cherry On Top
Our final destination was our hunt for a dessert that was light and sweet. The Fraiche Yogurt in the city is over a mile from the Civic Center BART station so hopping a bus if you do not want to walk that far is recommended. If you are driving, there is street parking or public parking lots nearby and Pacific Heights has great window shopping opportunities to keep you entertained on your way to get some dessert.

Once you arrive your biggest decision will be what extras to pile on top of your frozen yogurt. They also have baked goods and regular yogurt, if you are not in the mood for a cold treat.

There you have it; an entire day full of interesting people, animals, and spaces to share with a date. You can pick and choose whatever suits you and mix in your own favorite haunts. Keep checking back because we’ll be bringing you more ideas with our Spotlights!

Related posts:

1. Dating Myths Debunked – Part II
2. 5 Essential Dating Tips
3. Barbecuing Romance

Statement of Meaning
Hot indicates a reference to a woman’s body or the clothing she is wearing. The group felt this was possibly a temporary state not something permanent, “She’s hot in that dress.” “Those heels are hot.” “She’s hot tonight.”

Fine is the ultimate compliment and refers to the whole package — brains, looks, personality, and clothing.

Good looking is describing just the face and is a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10.

Sexy is reserved for the body or an exotic feature, which could be a behavior. This is a permanent feature and someone who is sexy is not necessarily pretty. For most of the men in the group, they felt strongly that they would not bring sexy home to meet the parents.

Gorgeous represents symmetrical, appealing features in the face. It is a 9 or 10 on the scale.

Pretty symbolizes a good effort, landing as a 7 or 8 on the scale. It can reference the face or clothing and is reserved for youthful women. Pretty is definitely meet the parents material.

Cute means there is something about her that catches their attention not to be confused with pretty. This is really a combination of personality and looks.

Elegant is from a good background, dresses well — high class, formal, high fashion, conservative — like a country club daughter (their words). She is graceful and the guys said it is rare for them to use this label as they may think it but may not say it.

Beautiful is another label for the face, an 8 or 9 on the scale, and is the old-fashioned term for pretty. It feels more special than other labels, which is why these guys only use it to describe their girlfriends.

Attractive is very much a general term describing the overall face and body. Nothing about this label stands out as either bad or good.

Seductive is a behavior, generally associated with sexy, but can represent an entire separate group of women. The guys implied that this would be the behavior of a more mature woman.

Stunning represents a change from the normal look or behavior and is a temporary state. It takes away the breath of anyone who bares witness to the change.

Sweet is all about personality. She is nice, friendly, and all those happy adjectives.

Adorable means cuter than cute and can be in action or physical looks.

Sophisticated simply put, is intelligent and beautiful. A combination of brains and looks that is not often used but certainly appreciated by this group of men.

Classy involves a woman’s ability to display good taste in her fashion and social skills. Another label not often used but talked about with reverence from the group.

Fly denotes an awesome personality and her ability to be agreeable in both behavior and looks. She is the type to hang with his friends and have fun.

What I found most interesting about this discussion was the agreement between all those involved about each definition and how they felt really strongly about each one. It was important to have clear delineation between each definition and they could not impress upon me enough how much value they have for these labels. It was, obviously, not the first time they have covered this topic and it will not be the last.

Matchmaker
See if you can match the famous women that the focus group of men associated with each descriptive label.

1. Hot
2. Fine
3. Good looking
4. Sexy
5. Elegant
6. Cute
7. Pretty
8. Gorgeous
9. Fly
10. Classy
11. Sophisticated
12. Adorable
13. Sweet
14. Stunning
15. Seductive
16. Attractive
17. Beautiful

• Anne Hathaway
• Eva Longoria
• Natalie Portman
• Megan Fox
• Penélope Cruz
• Charlize Theron
• Drew Barrymore
• Nina Dobrev
• Meryl Streep
• Julia Roberts
• Halle Berry
• Beyoncé
• Jessica Biel
• Angelina Jolie
• Scarlett Johansson
• Jennifer Aniston
• Jessica Alba

1. Hot = Megan Fox   2. Fine = Beyoncé   3. Good looking = Jessica Biel   4. Sexy = Angelina Jolie   
5. Elegant = Anne Hathaway   6. Cute = Jessica Alba   7. Pretty = Jennifer Aniston   8. Gorgeous = Scarlett Johansson 9. Fly = Halle Berry   10. Classy = Julia Roberts   11. Sophisticated = Meryl Streep   12. Adorable = Nina Dobrev   
13. Sweet = Drew Barrymore   14. Stunning = Charlize Theron   15. Seductive = Penélope Cruz   
16. Attractive = Natalie Portman   17. Beautiful = Eva Longoria

Related posts:

1. Surefire Ways to Attract a Woman
2. 5 Essential Dating Tips
3. Every Exit is an Entry Somewhere

His name is Joe. That’s right, a cup of Joe.

I’ve recently begun a love affair with coffee. If you’re a caffeine aficionado, you’ll understand my newfound passion. Not only is coffee a tasty escape, it’s a pick-me-up. I’m not a coffee snob. I like a doughnut shop coffee every now and then. I also recently invested in a Keurig Platinum Coffee Maker, so I can have coffee on-the-go to get me through almost any zombie-like state. It proves magic in the wee hours of the night when I have a late night blog idea and it becomes absolutely necessary early mornings when I am embarking on my adventure that is a new day. When I am not toting my to-go cup with Keurig-produced coffee in hand (because we all know it isn’t the best quality), I can be found making a quick morning stop to Starbucks. It’s on every street corner, making it every San Francisco worker’s quick resource. But truth be told, I’m not too big a fan on taste when it comes to Starbucks, Pete’s or Tully’s. So where does one go when they want to enjoy a “good” cup of coffee, especially with someone special?

Spotlight on Philz Coffee (Website, Yelp)
Philz has a devoted cult-like following, and I’m one of those followers. If you’re with a date in San Francisco (the original Philz is in the Mission District) Palo Alto, San Jose, or Berkeley, stop by and try a cup of one of their twenty handmade coffees. Philz knows a thing or two about the art of drip coffee. If you’re not in the area, you can have their coffee shipped to you (how convenient)! When I want a refreshing beverage, the Mint Mojito Iced Coffee really hits the spot and the Mocha Tesora will put any chain coffee store mocha to shame. If you’re a coffee noob and want to get something sweet and safe, try Philtered Soul. Boy is it good! The baristas will make your coffee individually, one cup at a time. They’ll ask you how sweet you want your drink to ensure the perfect amount of cream and sweetener is in there, just the way you like it, and they’ll have you take a sip before you commit, to make sure it’s to your liking. Philz Coffee doesn’t have that air of arrogance that some high end/designer coffee shops exude. Its décor isn’t the most romantic compared to other coffee shops and cafes, but the ambiance is friendly, relaxed, and very local — the perfect casual spot to go to when you’re in the beginning stages of getting to know someone or are already comfortable with someone you’ve been seeing on the regular. Because of their unique blends, convenient bay area locations, and customized service, Philz is number one in my book.

Café Trieste (Website, Yelp)
Blue Bottle 
Coffee (Website, Yelp)
Graffeo Coffee Roasting Company (Website, Yelp)
Ritual Coffee Roasters (Website, Yelp)
FourBarrel Coffee (Website, Yelp)

I know you’ve all got local java joints you frequent, whether by yourself or with a date. Let’s hear who your favorite Bay Area coffee shop contenders are!

Find the Beat
The club scene is full of DJs creating amazing beats for the crowd to bounce to and you will not need any special skills to thrive in this environment. It is usually loud and the lighting is low, edging towards psychedelic with the colored light shows, so you can usually jump up and down, wiggle your hips, or do the q-tip without attracting too much attention. Because it is loud, finding the beat should be easy and that is all you need to know about any type of dancing — stick to the beat. It is okay to mimic others and keep it simple. You do not need to rival the back-up dancers for some pop star but simply moving up and down, side to side in one spot is sufficient.

Hey, Teacher! Show Me Some Moves
There is a recent fad, especially in cities, to go country western dancing, which makes me laugh a bit since that is what I grew up with in a tiny western town. However, it is a huge hit and you will need to know how to maneuver through this land of ten-gallon hats, big belt buckles, and shit kickers (boots!). If you will be country western dancing, it will be with a dance partner or you may end up line dancing with a whole group. For the most part, you will be moving around a dance floor using a western swing dance or two-step. The easiest way to learn is to do, so find a willing teacher and get moving! While you are learning, remember to laugh at yourself and have fun.

Two Left Feet
Another great adventure in dancing is the resurgence of ballroom classics like the waltz, tango, cha-cha, swing, or rumba. There are dance halls all over offering lessons before the band arrives or community centers that offer classes with experts. Ballroom dances teach you some basic steps that you can hijack into whatever style music you love and it also provides the skills of leading a partner, making eye contact instead of staring at your feet, and how to move around the floor with other dancers. Whatever you’re shaking your booty to, find and follow the beat, laugh at yourself, and savor being close to your date.

Dancing will happen at some point in your dating journey and taking full advantage of the opportunity to get up close and personal is not a bad thing. If you can’t channel your inner Albert Brennaman from the movie “Hitch” and move however you want, then try keeping it simple, smile at your partner, and don’t take the whole thing too seriously.

Related posts:

1. Come, Talk With Me!
2. One Down, Two to Go
3. Every Exit is an Entry Somewhere

For those of you who are more interactive and prefer a condensed version of questions asked by the community for Professor Pandwink, our series of video blogs are your best bet! Check out our second episode of Q&A on relationship advice, dating tips and first dates featuring Di, Shirley and Irina!

If you would like to have any relationship and/or dating questions answered by Professor Pandwink via either a blog post or vblog, simply submit your questions by clicking here.

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1. Ask Professor Pandwink!
2. Professor Pandwink VBlog – Episode 1
3. How wrong is it to be attracted to more than one person?