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Planet Success Strategies – What Are Yours?

Coach Laura — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:14:24 +0000

There are so many things we have taken for granted with the many conveniences of our modern life. Running water, plastic wrappings and containers, our clothing, electronics and fast food. We have come accustomed to throwing away many of these items. We have become a disposable society. The problem is, our landfills are filling up, we are running out of clean potable water and the animals we cohabitate the earth with are dying because of our habits. What can we do?

What if each of us, create one new habit every so often that would care for our planet. Ask yourself, what can I reuse, recycle or regift? Over the last few years, I was encouraged by my husband to start taking canvas bags to the grocery store. Numerous times I left the bags in the trunk of the car. But I didn’t give up. There were times when I left the bags in the trunk and remembered when shopping. So I just went back out to the car and retrieved the bag or I hand carried items out. Over time, I started remembering the bags more and more. My next habit is to use less water.

Please comment here and share what you’re doing for the planet. What tips do you have for others? Why are you passionate about this?

I’m so glad we’re working together on this.
Warm Regards,
Coach Laura

Personal Success Strategies â€“ Beyond Integrity

Coach Laura — Wed, 27 May 2009 08:03:31 +0000

Last week I was sent an email from my Facebook friend Marjorie where she asked what my Personal Success strategies are. What came to mind was revealing and may be somewhat contrary to what others have recommended. Please let me know what you think as you read this.

Youâ€™ve heard that integrity is important. I think so too. I used to think that having integrity, in other words, keeping my commitments and having things in life completed, was the key to having everything I wanted in life.Â Indeed life works and business flows when I keep my commitments. And I do so as a matter of practice. Â I do regularly operate by placing integrity in every area of my life as critical. Without integrity things fall apart. In the world of construction a building must have structural integrity otherwise it will fall apart. Likewise, this principle operates the same way in our lives.

Yes, integrity is powerful in and of itself. Hereâ€™s the kicker for meâ€¦ In addition to integrity, I know that to truly have a life that feeds my soul, I must know myself deeply, be willing to acknowledge and honor my feelings and most importantly be honest about it. Furthermore, I must make decisions and commitments in alignment with my authentic truth.

When I realized the significance of my authenticity to my health and happiness, my whole world shifted. I was able to ease up on the inner critic within me and start listening to the gentler voice of my true feelings and desires. Then I could have integrity serve my authenticity. For example, if I know myself and that museums are exhausting for me and someone asks me to go, I know if I allot more than 2 hours for the visit, I will be grouchy and unhappy. So now I agree to go to exhibits that I know will take less than two hours to go through and ideally my companion doesnâ€™t want to spend more than an hour. If he/she does, then I will let them know itâ€™s not the right event for me to attend. This may sound like a minor thing to you. You may be saying, â€œwhy not just go and sacrifice yourself so as not to hurt the otherâ€™s feelings?â€ I used to do this, but truly I was bummed out by the end of the day and no one was really happy to be there as a result. I guarantee you this, if you try to hide or deny your feelings it will come out some other way that wonâ€™t be positive. Â Instead, when I am true to myself, I donâ€™t wind up being in a bad mood anymore with the people I care about. They are happy too. On top of that there would then be time to do something I might enjoy that I could suggest.

Authenticity is not an excuse for lack of integrity by any means. Rather itâ€™s a way to enrich and enjoy your life more fully.Â I recommend knowing oneself deeply and making sure your commitments are in alignment. Though it sounds easy, I invite you to examine your life and the times you get â€œcrankyâ€ or are in a joy-less state and ask yourself, â€œwhat is it that I need that Iâ€™m not getting in this moment? and â€œwhat did I do that was not authentic that may have gotten me here?â€ Be sure not to beat yourself up. This is a learning process and takes practice.

The Feminine Power Cards have a certain number of cards dedicated to principles centered around making conscious choices. These cards remind you to become an objective observer Â (without judgment) of your life and give up placing judgment on yourself. It is then when you are truly open to what is really going on inside and you have an extraordinary gatewayÂ to new awarenesses, more tolerance of others while not compromising oneself. Here are a few of the cards that invite us to make these conscious choices.

Â Â Â

Each of these cards is your invitation to explore your authentic feminine nature. The deck contains suggested practices to implement each of these principles. For now I leave you with some questions to use as you contemplate how these principles can be used in your life:

Where are you inconsistencies between what you say and what you do?
Are you willing to say “no” to someone who asks you to do something and put yourself first instead?
What are you feeling?

Wishing you every JOY,

Coach Laura

Peacefully Resolve Conflicts in Relationships

Coach Laura — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:42:57 +0000

My husband said for the first couple of years we were together that things were going so well in our relationship that he was waiting for “the other shoe to drop” when we would have a big fight. I wasn’t surprised that it never happened. Mind you, we have areas of disagreement but they never become big issues.

As a student and coach of communications and relationship development, I am continually learning and practicing skills to enhance relationships. At one point my husband had an aha moment. He said, “I now understand why we are not going to have that big fight.” Below are some points he mentioned that I also believe are the some key elements of peacefully resolving conflicts in relationships.
1. Each partner takes responsibility for his/her feelings and his/her part in the situation. It is imperative that each partner acknowledge and reflect upon his/her own feelings and reactions to things.

2. Have a commitment/intention to put love in the space of your relationship. I will often ask myself something like, “How can I be loving to myself and my partner?” It is especially important to ask this question when you don’t feel like it.

3. Refrain from holding onto expectations of your partner behaving a certain way in order to “make” you happy. The minute you expect him/her to behave a certain way so you can feel better, you’re trapped in a no-win situation. You must make yourself happy and then be in relationship. Expectations will trap your partner into “having” to be a certain way and will lead to resentment on his/her part or disappointment on yours.
4. No assumptions. Whatever you do, don’t assume he/she did something on purpose to hurt you. Instead, give him/her the benefit of the doubt and then seek to verify what the case is. Negative assumptions is like poison to a relationship.
5. Speak the truth about yourself. Use “I feel…” and stick to feelings (not words that imply he/she did something to cause this feeling). For example, feeling words include: sad, angry, depressed, insecure, confused, afraid, jealous, sick, frisky, elated. Words that implicate your partner (that you won’t want to use) include: rejected, pushed, conned, judged. Avoid using the word “you” when expressing your feelings. Stick to “I.”
6. Never lash out. Say nothing instead. And contemplate what you are feeling. Lashing out is merely avoiding facing the truth about what you are feeling.
These take practice. I will admit I am not perfect. What is key for me is staying conscious to these principles and apologizing quickly if I’ve stepped over the line. Thus, I highly recommend keeping them present in your life and practicing them. It will make all the difference.

These principles and many more are incorporated into the Feminine Power Cards which are daily reminders and practices for living in feminine energy and creating juicy harmonious soul-connected relationships.

Wishing you joy-filled connections.

Coach Laura

How the Feminine Influences World Leaders

Coach Laura — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 02:52:20 +0000

On January 18, 2009, two days before the inauguration, a letter from President Obama to his daughters was published in Parade Magazine. What struck me about his letter was his admission that the birth of his two daughters changed his outlook on life, made him a better man and gave his life greater purpose.

He said, “When I was a young man, I thought life was all about meâ€”about how I’d make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn’t seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn’t count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that’s why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation. “

This is the power of the feminine. All his daughters had to do was be present. They were born and this man had a new outlook and vision for the world. Now he is President and making change for a better world.

Let this be a reminder for women everywhere. It’s not what we do. It’s who we are… women. Inherently power-full. Women, take on your joy as innocently as Sasha and Malia Obama. Let go of your anger, release your stress, allow your authentic feminine essence shine and allow the shift to occur.

Wishing you every JOY.

Coach Laura

PS: Feb 2, 2009 we launched the Feminine Power Movement to inspire women to tap into their authentic feminine essence. Check out this little video with more info about the Feminine Power Movement.

Call for Vision – Feminine Power Creating a World Wide Shift

Coach Laura — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 05:04:46 +0000

Picture thisâ€¦ a world where women have stress-free lives because they are freely living their passions, making a priority to take care of themselves, being role models to their children of loving, nurturing, co-creative, intelligent partners in their families and organizations. Women who lead with a focus of doing the right things for the environment, neighbors and family.When a critical mass of women know who we are, the immense influence we have, and the wisdom and courage to live in alignment with this truth, our world will shift to a more compassionate, cleaner, safer, richer and joyous place to live.

Our culture is at a turning point and so many people are ready for the shift, yet they need help. They need inspiration, courage, and higher self-esteem. They need someone to believe in them and show them the way. You may know women already living in their full power. Perhaps, you are one of them. Those of us who living power-fully have an extraordinary opportunity and responsibility to bring women along into their power.

I invite you to join me in inspiring more women to access more of their wonderful selves and watch our world come into greater harmony, find itâ€™s way to peace and heal itself in so many ways. Women are the conscious of our society and we must take on this role in a bigger way. The consequences of ignoring this responsibility are far too great.

Building Momentum – Feminine Power Worldwide Launch EventÂ
February 2nd marks the start of our Feminine Power Worldwide Launch Event. I am stepping out and sharing this vision and your visions. I have collected the tools that will be the catalyst for this quiet revolution to take place. Women will have access to amazing experts who are standing by to inspire, support and heal our world.

Share and Declare Your Vision and Watch the Shift Happen

Can you imagine the shift? It’s coming. All we need to do is be conscious of it. What is your vision for the healing in your life, your community and the world? What is possible? Please share your vision and comment on this blog…. There’s a beautiful evolution taking place and you’re a part of it. We want to witness your vision.

Want More Joy for the Holidays and Beyond?

Coach Laura — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 08:17:53 +0000

Joy is a very popular word during the holidays. Many people associate it with the upbeat and hopeful music. Others with the opportunity to party. Kids especially get joy out of receiving gifts.Â I am dedicated to joy throughout the year. It is my life’s purpose. To spread and inspire people to have more joy in their lives. So the holidays marks the time when I feel there is an opportunity to remind everyone that joy is accessible any time.

During this time of year, a significant amount of people experience the opposite of joy. It is understandable for there are a lot of stressors that people experience. I’d like to share two items for cultivating a sense of hope and joy during this time.

The first is a video that my colleague, Lisa Mininni, and I put together. We collaborated on this and had so much fun putting this together. I know it will inspire you to think about consciously creating joy. We’ve titled it Up Your Joy… just a little humor in alignment with the true nature of our message.

Embedded video coming soon. Click link to view.

Share the movie link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmZihZiJgK8

The second is another card from the deck of Feminine Power Cards. The card reads, “When you don’t know where to go, go within.”

So what does going within mean to you? When you hear yourself saying negative responses to this. That is not going within. Rather that is an act of avoiding. So stay with me and let your inner critic keep babbling but take it with a grain of salt and go beyond this voice to the quieter more compassionate place. Ask this part of you some questions:

What am I feeling?
What do I need?
What’s important?
How can you get this for yourself with harming yourself or others?
What will bring me joy in this moment?
Practice cultivating joy (no matter what problems you have). Make a list of things that make you happy and bring you joy. I recommend doing this when you are in a positive frame of mind if possible. Do one nurturing, self-honoring, joy-creating thing for yourself.Â Make it something that doesnâ€™t seem like a burden; something that feels nurturing and soul nourishing.
Here are some ideas.
a. Take a walk in a beautiful place
b. Get a manicure and/or pedicure
c. Get a massage
d. Take a bath
e. Light a candle and spend 5 minutes in reflection
f. Sing in the shower
g. Go for a run
h. Go somewhere inspiring in your mind for 5 minutes
i.Â List the things you are grateful for in your life
j. Create something
k. Prepare a nutritious meal for yourself
l.Â Volunteer time at an elderly facility or other place
where people will be healed by your presence
m. Cry (it’s very cleansing and healing)
n. Rent a chick-flick or comedy
o. Take a sauna, Jacuzzi.
p. Take a nap
q. Go swimming
r. Do some stretching or yoga
s. Dance
t. Write your praises
u. Clean your kitchen
v. Listen to a hypnosis or guided mediation Tape or CD
(some available at www.SanDiegoHypnosisWorks.com)

What do you do that brings you joy? Please share your ideas and comment below. You never know when something you share makes a big difference in someone else’s life.

Wishing you a joy-filled holiday.

Coach Laura

Heart Of A Woman In Business

Coach Laura — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:48:43 +0000

Once again sparkling speaker and author Sheryl Roush has compiled a beautiful collection of wisdom for women in business. Recently, her book, Heart of a Woman In Business was released. If you want to be inspired and informed, pick up this book because it may have just the tip you need. I found this little book has so much to offer from how to take a better photo, be a more effective leader, learn to cultivate abundance to simply reminding you why you are an incredible woman.

It is an honor to be a contributor amongst so many other brilliant women. This is an incredible book. Once you have it, you’ll want a copy for each of your friends. So check it out today…

Heart of a Woman in Business: Stories, Strategies and Skills for Business Success

Why Do I Hurt When I Left An Abusive Relationship?

Coach Laura — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 21:20:36 +0000

Dear Coach Laura,

I was emotionally and physically abused in my last relationship of 8 years. I know I made the right choice to leave. Yet, I have some many questions… why did he even bother to come back all those times when he knew he didn’t want us? Why is he happy and I am not? Why do I feel I got the short end of the stick and never did anything to deserve it? If you can shed some light on this matter that would be great.

Signed, Hurting

Dear Hurting One,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It takes courage to share yourself with another and I want to acknowledge the tremendous strength you have.

First of all, I recommend bringing the focus completely to you and your healing. It no longer makes sense to focus on him – whether he’s happy or not. Whether he is happy or sad will not help you in your healing and recovery from this long and painful journey. He cannot help you and never has been capable of that. That being said, can you see how much strength you have? You have put up with so much in order love another. You are a power-full woman. You have an opportunity to live life much more fully and create your own happiness now that you are free from a destructive relationship.

By the way, your perception of getting the short end of the stick is just that, a perception. After all, he’s the one who no longer has you as an option. You are obviously intuitive, smart, and very caring. You have so much going for you and so much to be thankful for which you are gifted with.Â Sure you’re in pain now. It’s called grieving. You are grieving a relationship that you relied upon as a familiar place to hang out. That’s ok. Explore your feelings here. Take responsibility by accepting the past and focusing on what you want going forward.

I also will warn you not to place him in the villain role because that then makes you a victim. Victims are powerless and can only stay hurt and stuck. Healing is the direction you can choose to go instead. So a change in perspective is warranted. He was in your life to teach you many lessons and make you stronger for it. If you can be so brave and self-compassionate, then explore what his presence in your life has gifted you with. I’m sure he did things that were wrong and very hurtful and as a result you’ve made a choice to leave. So don’t let him have any more power over you. Also, blaming yourself for not letting go sooner does not serve a positive purpose. Again, it puts you in a victim role to your fear. Rather, trust that the timing is fine and for the best. You may not have been ready prior to the time it happened.

Be kind to yourself. Know that you deserve love that is honoring and harmonious. If you remain in a state of sadness and feeling like “why me,” then reach out for some therapeutic help. Lord knows I’ve done my share and with a good counselor I’ve made incredible breakthroughs.

Also, surrounding yourself with people who celebrate you, lift you up and admire your strengths is a great way to build your esteem at this time. Be careful not to play the victim around others. Give up complaining. You can share your feelings but do not blame anyone (not even yourself). Be with your feelings purely. Blaming is merely way of avoiding the truth. You are strong. You are a phenomenal woman. Imagine our community encircling you with love and adoration. We see you as a vital happy woman.

In Joy,
Coach Laura

PS: For some self-coaching, the Feminine Power Cards give tremendous support. Visit http://www.FemininePowerCards.com

Best Friends Don’t Give Advice

Coach Laura — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:42:02 +0000

Have you ever had a friend go on and on telling you about how you “should” approach a personal situation? How did you feel afterwords? Most likely you felt drained, unsupported and more worked up about your situation than before. Well, maybe you’re like me and you’ve been on both sides of that conversation. I admit it. Yes, I have done the unthinkable here. I was regretfully the cause of some rather uncomfortable feelings on the part of my dear friends.

The advice giving response is so automatic. You can relate right? A good friend comes to you and it seems like she wants your advice. She may even say the words, “what do you think,” “what advice do you have,” etc. So you dive right in and share your greatest wisdom. You feel like you’ve given her the keys to relieving her situation, only she sheepishly leaves this conversation feeling worse than she did when she “asked” you for your advice. Well, I have learned over the years to tread very carefully in the advice giving arena. I am nowhere near perfect. However, I am more aware than ever. And I have some really honest friends to thank for that.

What I realized is the underlying motivation for giving advice is to make myselfÂ feel better about her situation. In other words, I was hoping that my advice would help her alleviate her pain so that I wouldn’t have to be subject to it. And on other occasions giving advice just made me feel smart.Â Think about that this week or the next time you’re in conversation and you want to come to the rescue. Who’s pain are you really trying to lessen? Who do you really want to help feel better? Giving advice often becomes a selfish act.

During our virtual girl tele-gathering this month we will discus alternatives to advice giving. What does being supportive mean? How to be supportive and bring light and joy into your life and how to avoid the traps that will drain you and not help your friend.

This month appreciate your girlfriends and listen more than you talk and notice when you want to give advice. See if you can refrain from that. Join us on Oct 21st bring your stories and hear others. You’re not alone. Come to our safe nest and nurture yourself by being a safe place to learn, open up and receive the gift of having conscious girlfriends.

FREE Virtual Girl Time: Being Supportive & Joyous
In celebration of my 11th Year Anniversary of being on the Journey to Feminine Power, you and your girlfriends are invited to share this sacred time and space on this live tele-gathering for FREE. Come and let your hair down, open up and connect with other like-minded women. I will be doing a guided relaxation process and you will have an opportunity to cultivate your feminine energy in this supportive atmosphere.
Date:Â October 21st
Time:Â 4:45 pm Pacific
Call Details when you Register at HeartCenteredWomen.com
Our topic this month is Being Supportive in Joy. Women tend to give a lot of support in every area of their lives. This can be wonderfully fulfilling and lead to much joy or it can be a draining activity that leads to resentment, disappointment and failed relationships. In this tele-gathering we will discuss

The traits of supportive girlfriends who create joy.
The top mistakes girlfriends make that will drain any relationship and how to avoid them.
How to identify why you are so hurt and heal this hurt.

Reserve your space today… visit http://www.HeartCenteredWomen.com

Are men put off by powerful women?

Coach Laura — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:38:34 +0000

Many women over the years have commented to me or asked about being powerful and how men respond to a powerful woman. My response is it all depends on how you define powerful. Some womenâ€™s ideas of what a powerful woman is would be off putting to men. The characteristics of bullying, competing directly, trying to force or manipulate people or situations or using demeaning remarks that criticize are all traits that turn men off.Â A woman in her feminine power, however, is a magnetic force that most honorable men canâ€™t get enough of.

These power traits that are compelling includeâ€¦

A woman who knows how to make herself happy and expresses her joy.
A woman who takes responsibility for her life and financial well-being. This doesnâ€™t mean you have to be rich (though you could be) Rather you come from a place of stability. The minute a man senses you â€œneedâ€ him, heâ€™ll be running.
A woman who communicates her needs and desires directly.
A woman who honors her emotions and takes responsibility for having them. She never resorts to blame, shame or guilt.
A woman who makes choices that honor herself and her well-being.

Recently, a 60 year old extremely successful woman client of mine relayed to me that she has realized that over the years men have really appreciated her and been drawn to her work as a financial advisor because she is a woman who could match them intellectually and competently, and yet have a gracious quality to her client relationships and delivery of her work.

The Feminine Power Card that says, â€œA Woman In Joy is a Radiant Womanâ€ really says it all. A woman in joy makes herself a priority. She takes care of herself to the point where she consciously creates joy in her life. When you create joy in your life, and you freely express it you are living authentically. Most likely you have all the power traits that are compelling. So I urge you to create more joy and live power-fully. Please share how you live power-fully.

Hereâ€™s to power-full you.

Coach Laura