Young girls in the 21st century are in dire need of strong female role models. In my native UK, a report from the Girl Guides (equivalent to Girl Scouts) released last week found that 55 percent of young girls feel there are not enough positive role models.  They are more likely to list a character from The Only Way is Essex (the UK version of The Hills or Jersey Shore) as a role model versus a sports star, politician or business leader.  Thank goodness for young adult fiction.

No discussion of female protagonists in young adult novels/ mega movie franchises would be complete without reference to Ms. Bella Swan – the heroine of the Twilight saga. For me, neither Stephanie Meyer’s original character, nor Kristen Stewart’s sulky screen incarnation, present a positive role model for young women. Bella’s entire life is defined by her love for Edward, her overprotective (I would say controlling) vampire boyfriend. She has no interests, ambitions or dreams of her own. Edward and his werewolf rival, Jacob, lie to Bella and make decisions for her, all ostensibly because they want what’s best for her.

Katniss is a fitting idol for young girls and it’s not because she can wield a bow and arrow as well as any of the boys. Yes, she is physically strong, but she’s emotionally strong too. She is the breadwinner in her family and also the provider of emotional support and stability. Further, (spoiler alert) when Katniss triumphs in the arena, it’s not because she’s some badass action hero, it’s because of the relationships and alliances she has built with the other tributes. Katniss is a winning combination of masculine and feminine traits – she shows girls that you can succeed by being yourself.  She demonstrates that you don’t have become “one of the boys” or rely solely on your feminine wiles to get ahead.

The part of Katniss Everdeen’s character that I really hope teenage girls take to heart is the belief she has in herself. She knows her strengths and is not afraid to use them to succeed. This is where the contrast with Bella Swan is really stark. Bella doesn’t believe in herself, she thinks she needs someone else to save her and someone else to make her dreams come true.  Now I’m not anti-love, but if young girls grow up thinking that a man (even Robert Pattinson) is the answer to all life’s problems they are sure to be disappointed.

And finally, a word on Hunger Games’ star Jennifer Lawrence – as an Oscar nominated and critically acclaimed actor known better for her work than her love life or wardrobe and a natural beauty with a healthy, athletic body shape – she could turn out to be a pretty great role model herself.

“There is no work-life balance; you triangulate priorities with the possible outcomes,” says Lazarus. It seems the same attitude that made Shelly successful and indispensable at Ogilvy also made her a loving mother. It is in her character to attack projects (at work and home) with passion, to be decisive, and stay true to herself. These qualities are obvious in the role of a senior executive or dedicated parent, but these are the same qualities that have allowed her to change with the times, innovate, and move up the ranks to be a respected CEO and celebrated leader. She’s excited about the growth and utility of social media, and sees it as one of the next BIG creative movements for advertising.

Shelly looks at the changes and shifts in the advertising world as thrilling aspects of a business to which she has dedicated her career. “Find something you love,” she says, that way it never feels like you’re sacrificing. That is if you consistently act on your priorities and embrace your strengths and let go, let go of your weaknesses. “You’ll never get better at your weaknesses,” claims Lazarus.

What was so refreshing about Shelly’s talk was her honesty and candor regarding one of the most pressing issues women face in the work place, especially in new fields where there is so much potential for growth and leadership positions. “How can we do it all?” Shelly’s take on embracing strengths, letting go of your weaknesses on the job relates to the private sphere: attend field days and birthdays, but you may not be able to have the cleanest house or host a Wednesday dinner party. She describes working late on a Thursday evening, but never attending a conference on a Sunday evening.

Maybe there is no ‘balance,’ but we can learn from Shelly’s confidence and self-respect, and apply her enthusiasm for advertising and life outside the office to our daily routines: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not the outside world imposing these standards; it’s internal. You’re not going to be perfect at anything.” As we close Women’s History Month, let’s take a little bit of that to heart – and practice.

I leave you with the three thoughts from our March Motivator:

1. “I didn’t ask for promotions, but I asked for credit.”
2. “I just did my job, I never had a career plan. I did my job full throttle.”
3. “Put a team together and release them to win for themselves.”

According to the article, Black women are less likely than women of other ethnicities to get breast cancer, but are more likely to die from it.  Death rates are 41 percent higher among African American women than among white women.

A separate study published last Wednesday in the International Journal of Cancer Epidemiology, Detection and Prevention compared mortality rates of black and white women in the nation’s 25 largest cities. The study found nearly five black women die per day from breast cancer.

The article provides the following factors that may contribute to these alarming rates:

Black women are getting their diagnoses at later stages

Black women are more susceptible to aggressive tumors

Lack of information about the importance of breast screening

Lack of access to high quality care

A sense of hopelessness and fear

As a communicator, I have to ask myself with so much information available on breast cancer why are so many Black women dying from it, and how can we turn this around?

One solution the article identified is the power of word of mouth marketing – in other words, simply hearing stories from other Black women who have had breast cancer would make the difference.

Many Black women interviewed said after they were diagnosed and shared their experience other women began revealing their experiences with the disease. The energy and collective strength that empowers women to boldly participate in breast cancer events, such as Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure, is not being translated into the Black community.  Messages about early detection and images of other women, who look like them, who had the disease and survived, are not being shared.

Black women are suffering in silence.  And their silence is deadly.

After careful thought and a lot of discussion, we decided that my husband, a small business owner, would scale down his work schedule to be home two days a week with our children and that I would return to work full time. This was not an easy decision as my husband’s business has been successfully growing despite a poor economy and he has worked hard to make that happen. However, for our family, this is what works right now.

Needless to say it was perfect timing when the March 26 issue of TIME magazine arrived last week. The cover story, “The Richer Sex,” is centered around the fact that women are overtaking men as America’s breadwinners and men are playing a stronger role in the home. According to the article, married men have almost tripled their weekly household contributions since 1965 and are more involved in the child rearing than ever before. Research shows this is a positive thing for a number of reasons:

• Studies show that the paternal style of child rearing is beneficial for a child’s physical, cognitive, emotional and behavioral development. For instance, mothers reassure toddlers when they become frustrated while fathers encourage them to manage their frustration. This helps the children learn to deal with stress and frustration.

• A long-term study proved that a father’s active involvement with his children, from birth to adolescence, promotes greater emotional balance, stronger curiosity and self-assurance in the child.

•While the stay-at-home mom often feels unappreciated, working women tend to go out of their way to ensure their stay-at-home husbands get the message that their contribution is noticed and valued, which makes for a better relationship.

One would think this shift in roles would result in a change in how we market products to families. Does the traditional focus on mom as the “CEO of the household” need to change? According to the research, probably not.

A Pew Research Study found that in households where the husband brings home more income, the buying decisions are made equally. However, in households where the wife earns more, mom is typically making twice as many buying decisions as the man. At the end of the day, dad is more of a target than ever before, but mom is still educating herself on the options and deciding what products are best for her family.

Regardless of who is making these decisions, we as a society are evolving to a place where roles in the family are based on the individual needs of that family rather than gender and that is a good thing for everyone.

Every time I spar or roll (generally with men), I tell my opponent not to treat me like a girl. I can tell when you’re taking it easy on me, even in the slightest way. It could be the look in your eye, the half-second pause before you execute an arm bar, the lightening up of your weight on my ribcage. Frankly, I hate it. Don’t treat me like a girl. I’m a fighter.

There has been a slow uptake of female cagefighting—there is no female UFC division, but women do compete in Strikeforce and with lesser-known organizations. Women are hindered in part by the attitude that training females in martial arts is acceptable, but “I don’t need to see ladies pummel each other in a cage.” Ladies playing soccer, basketball and tennis? Ok. Ladies going all out; no holds barred; tap, nap or snap? Not so much.

There are two issues here. One, are women interested in watching cagefighting at all? The answer to this is easy—yes. UFC President Dana White quoted a stat that in 2011, 45% of the UFC fanbase was female. So, we’ll certainly watch men fight. But, the second and more controversial question is, does this audience want to see women fight?

I could spend hours arguing the justice of whether there should be a female division in the UFC. Do I think it’s fair that there isn’t a female division? No. Can my opinion influence change? Maybe. Is there a more efficient way to strengthen female MMA’s hold on the market? Yes: combat the barriers.

White says female fights don’t generate revenue. It’s an understandable concern—the UFC is a business after all. So, let’s demonstrate that female fighters can draw the numbers. Let’s address how we get people into seats, how we get them to engage with fighters, how we get the potential audiences to want our “product”?

Another barrier is that there will be too much negative media around women “beating each other up.” To the casual viewer, it may look like two people are stepping into the ring and simply throwing punches and kicks until the other guy gets knocked out. But, the truth of the art is that there are intense levels of skill needed, intricate techniques, an understanding of anatomy and which way your body should/shouldn’t bend, an incredible sense of timing, an eye for openings and a control of your own breathing and pace. A little bit of education will go a long way here.

The question is not whether we are capable to fight in and own this space, it’s how we entice and market ourselves to gain the support needed to create and sustain a female UFC division.

This is (was) my dirty little secret. But the REALITY of reality TV is how poorly women are portrayed across the board. The ‘famous’ moments include the RHNJ fist fight at the christening party or the mother who showed up on “Dance Moms” yelling obscenities at Abby Lee while Abby called the police. Who can forget June “the Coupon Queen” and Alana, her daughter, who “hollers for the dollar” from Toddlers & Tiaras? Their behavior has earned over 2,440,000 views on YouTube. And what about the seemingly endless wave of women vying for a coveted spot on “The Bachelor,” desperate to get a rose from a complete stranger and then shattered to tears when they aren’t chosen. What is that all about? I could go on and on, but I won’t because it would lead the reader to believe I watch more of this form of entertainment than I do.

The truth is women aren’t the only one watching these shows. The number of tween and teen girls enjoying reality TV is on the rise – 43 percent are regular viewers and 30 percent said they sometimes watch. Teen Mom, a show that follows the lives of young pregnant girls—many of whom have trouble with drugs, alcohol and the law—is one of the most popular shows among this set. My 14-year-old daughter now loves “Dance Moms” and this new found excitement has led her to ask if I can encourage my younger 9 year old daughter to go into dance. I’m not sure I follow why she thinks it would be interesting to see her mother join the ranks of angry dance moms. Maybe she has a mature and ironic sense of humor for a 14 year old girl. It made me wonder what kind of effect this is having on her (and what kind of mother am I to allow her to watch this crazy show).

This question and concern led me to a recently published survey conducted by the Girl Scout Research Institute and I was surprised by what I learned.

“Girls today are bombarded with media – reality TV and otherwise – that more frequently portrays girls and women in competition with one another rather than in support or collaboration. This perpetuates a ‘mean-girl’ stereotype and normalizes this behavior among girls,” states Andrea Bastiani Archibald, Ph.D. Developmental Psychologist, Girl Scouts of the USA. “We don’t want girls to avoid reality TV, but want them, along with their parents, to know what they are getting into when they watch it.”

According to the survey, girls who view reality TV regularly are more focused on the value of physical appearance. 72 percent say they spend a lot of time on their appearance vs. 42 percent of non-viewers, while more than a third (38 percent) think that a girl’s value is based on how she looks. In addition, the study found that the vast majority of girls think reality shows pit girls against each other to make the show more exciting (86 percent). Also, viewers of reality TV versus non-viewers (78 percent vs. 54 percent) felt that “gossiping is a normal part of a relationship between girls.”

Interestingly, there are some positive attributes associated with girls who watch reality TV. For example, girls who watch reality TV are more self-assured than non-viewers when it comes to a number of personal characteristics, with the majority considering themselves mature, a good influence, smart, funny, and outgoing. (This would certainly describe my 14-year-old daughter and her confidence levels!) Reality fans are more likely than non-viewers to both aspire to leadership (46 percent vs. 27 percent) and to think they are currently seen as a leader (75 percent vs. 63 percent). In addition, they are more likely to see themselves as role models for other girls (75 percent vs. 61 percent).

The study revealed that reality TV has many upsides as well: 68 percent of girls agree that reality shows “make me think I can achieve anything in life” and 48 percent that they “help me realize there are people out there like me.” Seventy-five percent of girls say that reality TV depicts people with different backgrounds and beliefs.

When I read these survey results I must admit I was stunned that girls can receive such a positive benefit from reality TV. Who would have thought that these programs actually raise girls’ awareness of social issues and causes? I’m still finding it difficult to accept that the reality of the impact these shows have is actually the opposite of what I imagined among young girls. I suppose I’ll be needing to find a new reason to trumpet when I want my children turn the box off. I’m curious to see if these results would be echoed if a study were done comparing adult women who watch reality TV to those who do not. What do adult women get out of reality TV?

Well, other than giving your brain that vacation, of course.

• • Crying. It’s not The Bachelor without running mascara and unintelligible love-declaring sob-snorts for a man that’s dating lots of other women.
• • Tons of alcohol. We have yet to see anyone eat, but these ladies are never without a triple chardonnay.
• • Women overcoming their fears – primarily heights, deadly sea life and/or salsa dancing.
• • “The most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Chris Harrison has the best job in the world. All he has to do is memorize three lines and put on a suit.
• • Hot tubs. Duh.
• • A predictable cast of characters including, The Good Girl, The Vixen, and The Hot Mess.


Season 16, featuring winemaker Ben Flajnik, has certainly delivered all of the above. Between the cattiness and painfully awkward moments, I spend entire episodes cringing, sometimes even covering my eyes, and feeling really bad for the women. They’re adults going on “group dates”, skiing in bikinis, and spearing live lobsters for dinner … all to literally “win” a guy they barely even know. Finding love shouldn’t make women act this ridiculous, right? But, it’s hard to turn away from a reality TV train wreck. And we just can’t seem to get enough of this cultural phenomenon … or the key players:

The Good Girl

Although cute 24-year-old Kacie B. recently started cursing while under the influence, she reigned supreme as The Good Girl. The sweet administrative assistant from Tennessee scored the first one-on-one date of the season, impressing Ben with her baton twirling skills (yes, really) as they walked the streets of Sonoma. She even declared she’d move anywhere for a man, because that’s how she was raised in the South. Aw, shucks. Let’s just say a second bout of baton twirling was the beginning of the end for her…

The Vixen

This season’s beautiful, pouty, mean girl is Courtney, a 28-year-old model from California. She enjoys quoting Charlie Sheen (#winning!) and pretending to shoot the other girls with her finger guns. (You can watch a musical autotune mash-up of her most offensive lines here.) Despite her unusual social skills, she’s made Ben all googly-eyed by luring him into the water for a secret skinny dipping session in Puerto Rico and letting a gigantic tarantula crawl up her arm in Belize. Well, she seems like someone to bring home to mom!

The Hot Mess

If you’re watching this season, all I have to do is say the word “scrapbook” and you’ll know where this is going. There’s always one woman who engages in creepy childish behavior to show her devotion to The Bachelor. In a recent episode, Blakely, a 34-year-old “VIP Cocktail Waitress” presented Ben with a junior high style scrapbook to convey her excitement about their potential life together in San Francisco. By the look on Ben’s face, he clearly thought she was one sticker book and a Pound Puppy shy of a mental institution. Bye-bye Blakely.

We also need to give major props to this season’s original Hot Mess, NYC blogger Jenna. The poor girl couldn’t say a coherent sentence around Ben; cried under the covers during a cocktail party, and then was promptly sent home.

Between all the sobbing, conniving, and sheer desperation (one contestant quit her job and bailed on her BFFs wedding to win Ben’s heart), The Bachelor can be hard to stomach. But, whenever I get fired up about the way women appear on the show, I have to remind myself that they signed up for this. This isn’t The Hunger Games. They voluntarily went into battle against their most feared enemies: other perfectly tanned, toned women. Plus, the show has been airing long enough for them to count on having to jump out of a moving aircraft (why do they always act surprised?). If they think competing for a flower every week will lead to a healthy relationship, there’s not a whole lot us viewers can do for them from the couch … except eat ice cream and scream at the TV. We’ll just have to make it to the final rose ceremony and hope for the best.

How do you feel about the way women are portrayed on The Bachelor?

How can women in the profession come together to both support each other, share experiences and best practices was the topic of a panel lead by Mo Krochmal, editor of Social Media News NY at this week’s Social Media Week, taking place in New York, February 13-17th 2012.

I was honored to be on that panel, and in preparation worked with the Social@Ogilvy team in New York to crowdsource our tips for women working in social media. These experiences were then part of the content discussed by the panel – a full report of which can be seen here from Amy Vernon.

Our six tips for women in social media-based professions in 2012:

1. Show off your [digital] assets! Priya Kapoor (@priya_kapoor) advised that the social media “chamber” echos more so than the real world at times so what better place to publicize your voice or original thinking than a place always craving for more? Women should find a topic they are passionate about, research existing discussions and showcase their subject matter expertise  to the online community.

2. The importance of mentorship and community. Kelly Ferraro (@kellylferraro) advised social media and the new information landscape  are creating new opportunities for a strong mentor network among women – a point the #womenlead panel all agreed upon

3. Remain a student stated Rose Reid (@RoseEReid) highlighting the importance of always staying on top of trends in an ever-changing space

4. Have fun stated Sophia Aladenoye (@prettysongbird3). A positive attitude makes it that much easier to engage with new people, build relationships, pitch business and shine in daily work.

5. Recognize your network was something the entire team agreed upon. Women should recognize the power of their network and engage with them to continue to share stories and successes.

6. Don’t be afraid to go powerfully in the direction of your dreams - Layla Revis (@JauntMagazine) added, and ask for what you want or deserve, in all areas of your life. The worst that could happen is that they say ‘no’, but a ‘no’ is much better than an ‘I don’t know.’

What are your tips for women in social media professions? Share them in the comments section below. And be sure to check out Social Media News NY for more updates on the #womenlead movement.

The majority of people with whom I have celebrated Valentines Day with over the years are parents, grandparents, siblings, and my girlfriends: we exchange cards, cook meals together, toast ourselves to champagne, and devour flourless chocolate cake. Maybe it wasn’t particularly sexy or glamorous, but I represent a large and active market! Cooking classes, girlfriend getaways, restaurant deals, deliverable wine/cheese/chocolate baskets, nice gender neutral valentines stationery, not those ugly cards, would be great gifts to advertise and tap into this demographic.

Until then, I’ll continue to “give and receive,” in my own way.

Click photo to view commercial

In last week’s Super Bowl Ad-Stravaganza Recap, Layla Revis and Nikki Copas shared thoughts on ads from Teleflora and H&M and touched upon an interesting marketing trend: Marketing to Men through Women or vice-versa. Regardless of your opinion of the ads’ content and tact, the marketing approach is worth reflection.

Click photo to view commercial

Marketing products FOR women does not necessarily mean marketing products TO women. Strategies like these usually pop up around Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and other times when significant others are tasked with purchasing items for one another. Think Kay Jewelers or Zales ads.

Last Sunday’s commercials from H&M and Teleflora tell men “what women want.” If you want to be in the good graces of women, you should either wear underwear like David Beckham or buy flowers for Valentine’s Day.

Teleflora targets men directly, while H&M appeals more to a female audience. However, if all goes according to plan, the end result is the same: a purchase.

Teleflora is more overt in their targeting of males, blatantly telling men they should purchase this item and their significant other will act like Adriana Lima. On the other hand, H&M takes a more surreptitious approach by appealing to women.

Knowing a barely clothed David Beckham, a multi-time Sexiest Man Alive, would incite near riotous reactions in the female community, H&M allows the ensuing fanfare to speak on the brand’s behalf. This type of marketing grows stronger as time passes.

While the ad does not appeal to all males directly, a man may be more inclined to dress the part when he sees his significant other or female friend swooning over Beckham.  Some women with high hopes may even purchase a pair for their husband or boyfriend on their own.

Is this a smart strategy? Time will tell, but let us know your own thoughts in the comment section. Men, will you be sending flowers this Valentine’s Day? Ladies, have you already made a trip to H&M for the hubby?