I’m feeling a little bitchy today…okay, I’m feeling a little more bitchy than usual today. But since my live- streams of bitchiness only seem to get on the nerves of everyone under the Big Top, I am going to just get it out here. It’s random. It’s real. It’s what is on my hormonal mind today.

• I am so tired of our bitch~kitty, Ginger, gorging herself over her cat bowl and them promptly yakking it back up.
• Today I really don’t feel like fighting over food with Daniel and because I am in such a bitchy mood I let him know that.
• I hate that I made my boy cry over my refusal to fight over food today.
• I am annoyed over the fact that although I have spent the day getting a lot done it looks like nothing really has been done around the Big Top.
• The state of my state just irritates the hell out of me. While the talking heads of Sacramento continue to talk, talk, talk along with a lot of whining, bitching, moaning and groaning, people are losing their jobs, their homes, the programs they desperately need and I can’t get a hold of the DMV today to take care of one of the cars late vehicle registration because it is Furlough Friday.
• And speaking of politics or actually pundits, I challenge each and every male pundit (especially the ones from Fox News) to tell me that they have never, ever checked out a fine piece of ass before checking the girl’s ID. Of course news video proved that the President wasn’t checking out the rear view of a pretty seventeen year old but the pundits still rage on. C’mon guys, admit it. You have looked too.
• While I am so grateful that Bill is working steady again, I miss him so much while he is working these 6-10s to get a project at Stanford done. I’m glad he is staying with his friend, Gary in the Bay Area so I don’t have to stress about him commuting back and forth six days a week. Still I miss him. The kids miss him./ The dogs miss him.
• I just discovered that the reservations I made for a special birthday dinner for Bill is at a “dry” restaurant. I was really looking forward to sharing a nice bottle of wine with him over some fine Louisiana style cuisine.
• As always, I am so over having to always remind my circus clowns to pick up after themselves and show them where the trash can is.
• The fact that the Baby-Daddy is back seriously annoys the hell out of me. The fact that my daughter is irritated and annoyed about it seems to annoy me all the more. I mean she really didn’t have to petition for child support if she didn’t want him around.
• While I have to commend Baby-Daddy for making an effort, I am mystified over his overtures. You haven’t seen the kid since she was 2 months old so wouldn’t you at least ask her mama what size she is wearing these days before you buy a bunch of size 3T clothes…for a 13 month old. Most folks with some sense would have. Lordy, I hope that sweet baby didn’t get her brains from you!
• I think that the Valley Club and it’s members should be ashamed of themselves.
• I hate being the bad guy, the one who has to hold others accountable.
• While I am most definitely looking forward to our trip to Disneyland and Jodie’s dance nationals competition, I am not looking forward to the drive down and back. I imagine that Bill is looking forward to it either. Perhaps he’ll let me drive part way. Then he can hit the imaginary brakes on the passenger side.

World traveling circus clown Zoë is back from her excellent European tour and acclimated to the Big Top’s time zone and her life that is her job at Starbucks, scheduling time for senior portraits, hanging out with friends, driving around in the car she affectionately refers to as Firecrotch and eeking out as much fun and memories out of what is left of her summer break from school as she can. I have to say that she didn’t necessarily come back changed as she is still my wonderful weirdo but she certainly seems to have an air of continental confidence in the way that she carries herself. In other words, my darling Zo-Zo, you don’t seem to slouch as much and that is a very good thing because, my God, you are gorgeous!

Looking at this picture of her on the streets of Paris I have to ask myself why am I not surprised that she would seem to fit in there so well. Paris is Zoë and Zoë is Paris! It was a great adventure for my beautiful girl and I am so thankful that we managed to make it happen for her.

You can read about her travels here and here.

Working and trying to catch up on a few summer projects here under the Big Top means there is no time for blogging but I do have this from a year ago…Enjoy!

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.  You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.  ~Erma Bombeck

Yeah, it sounds like we had a pretty typical Independence Day celebration. This year it was at Jenn’s Pickle Jar.  It’s nice to know the belly-ache and headache I woke up to this morning had nothing to do with all the amazing food I consumed including Derek’s famous fried rice, tri-tip and mojitos. It was patriotism that I was feeling. Thank goodness it wasn’t a hangover.

Hope your holiday weekend celebrations were just as fun as ours was.

God bless the USA!

Well, she’s working on it.

Hazel is standing and walking…walking five to six steps before she stops as if to exclaim, “Oh, screw it!”, and then embark on her typical Mowgli-type crawl. It’s so much more efficient, you know. But it won’t be long now before the girl is walking and then, oh God, running everywhere.

One-two…one-two-three-FOUR!

Daniel and his best friend, Ryan, has the cure for the summertime (boredom) blues. Start your own livingroom rock and roll band and they demonstrated that you don’t even need the Wii Rock Brand, just the instruments.

Rock on, boys!

Sure The Bewbfest accolades are great but they are nothing compared to the latest and real achievements here under the Big Top.

Holly (the correct way to spell my child’s name and I would know since I signed the birth certificate) has completed the course work, the hours and all the operations to receive her cosmetology diploma! At last! Congratulations my sweet girl…now get out there and take the State Boards already so you can make the world prettier.

But wait, that’s not all…

Abby passed the written exam for her California learner’s permit and is raring to go and get behind the wheel and drive! The added bonus is that she took a great license photo.

Congratulations to my girls! Mommy~Dearest is so proud of you both.

No, I am not that mom who will put up with her children screaming or running amuck in public places where good behavior is expected…anymore! But I am the mom who will gladly, proudly celebrate that which makes me an awesome, phenomenal woman and joining Lotus of Sarcastic Mom and other equally phenomenal, awesome women and mothers in the Bewbfest ‘09.  It was all good, clean fun as we celebrated all the glorious shapes and sizes that we are. It was all the more fun because I am the second runner-up in this year’s Bewbfest. I have to thank everyone who voted for me…repeatedly including my darling hubs (nice to know he still appreciates the girls) and my older kids. It’s nice to know that the average sized, over forty, mother of five, grandmother of one rack can stack up to the 20 and 30-something mom bloggers out there. Thank you!

Of course right about now I am imagining my mother and her fellow “bra burners”  are cringing over what might appear to be blatant objectifying of my physical self. Perhaps it is a little objectifying but I see it more as celebrating and reclaiming a little bit of our physical selves. It seems that much is measured  in our physical selves as women, particularly our breasts: what is considered to be the ideal size and shape, our sexuality, our ability and decision to nourish the children we give birth to and how well we “hold up” as we age. No wonder so many of us complain about and dislike our own bodies, including our breasts. To me, The Bewbfest and The Boob Emancipation do a little celebrating and reclaiming the right to celebrate part of our own physical womanliness. There’s nothing dirty or tasteless in that. It’s just boobs, our boobs and we are pretty damn proud of them. I don’t see that as setting us back but rather liberating us even further. Being the mother of four daughters and grandmother of the most amazing grand daughter it is a big deal that I model confidence and a little self-love in the body that God has given me for my girls.

I have to say that I owe my size and shape not only partly to great genes (thanks Mom and Dad), a pretty great bra but also to my joining that cult that is the Shredheads. Remember when I posted my pre-shredding picture at over 180 lbs? Yeah, I’d like to forget it too. But I’m glad I did post it and share the beginning of my shredding experience. I am even more grateful for the accountability, support and beginning friendships that the Shredheads has offered. Most of us have moved past Jillian’s 30 Day Shred and Bob’s Yoga finding running, weights and other forms of exercise equally challenging in our quest for fitness. The results among my fellow Shredheads has been amazing and inspiring.  For mepersonally I have seen a significant amount of weight and inches lost and currently I am just 10 lbs shy of my personal goal. I’m not going to make the mid-July, family vacation date I set for myself to achieve that goal but I have to say that I am going to be very close. I couldn’t be prouder of that achievement too. Even better, the added bonus of all of this shredding and now jogging/walking/weights/yoga is my darling hubs is now heading to the gym working with a trainer and it is beginning to show.

Looking good in jeans,that little black dress, a swimsuit, and when I am brave enough, a bikini is pretty cool. Looking great for a forty-seven year old woiman and being told so, especially by my husband and kids is wonderful. Feeling good physically and mentally, feeling strong and feeling incredibly energetic so that I can do the juggling that I do is the best of all. Yes, I am THAT kind of mom. I am doing this for me, my hubs, my kids and my grandkid. I can’t think of a better reason.

How is a kid supposed to enjoy her dinner when she has the grandmamarazzi snapping pictures of her every move?

Enough already, “Bamma”!