Last summer, I had a different goal. I had the opportunity to take a group from Bethesda to Holden Village. They heard all the stories of the months that I lived in the village. And I think they were listening with interest!

Besides sharing the village with a bunch of first timers, I had one thing that I wanted to do when I was at Holden and that was to hike to Holden Lake. It is one of my favorite places on Earth. The truth is that I was nervous if I could even do it. Like I said, I had gained a lot of weight. So I started hiking Mt. Pisgah in hopes that I would be in good enough shape to hike to Holden lake. I’ve included a picture of me at Holden and this was after I had been to Holden Lake. I was able to do all the hikes I wanted to do while I was in the village. My big frame didn’t stop me from enjoying the trip and doing what I wanted to do.

This is an important part of the story. I’m proud of myself. Even though I had sleep apnea, had to take blood pressure medication, and acid reflux medication and a few more meds. Even though I weighed 110lbs more than I do now. One thing that is becoming clearer to me each day is that we are each on our own journey. We can inspire others, we can be inspired by others but in the end it’s our journey.

It was at the end of July or early August that I read a Facebook post that changed my journey. Carol Mauer, who I took piano lessons from years ago, posted about a book she had read called “The Obesity Code.” I don’t remember what all she said about it but I ordered the book and read it during vacation. It was in early August of 2018 when I started my Keto journey. And I have learned a ton over the past almost year. I’ve lost 110lbs and am off all of my medication. But that story is for another post. I should get back to the point of this post.

For the last few years our family has been placing memories in a jar during the year that we read on New Year’s Day. This year we also added a goal for the year. The goal I put in the jar was to run the Butte to Butte. I started the couch to 5k training on February 2, 2019. I finished the 5k training program and had hoped to find a 5k to run but the scheduling just didn’t work out. So on April 11th, I began the 10k training program.

I saw a Facebook post about registration being open for the Butte to Butte. It took me a little while but I finally signed up. (It must not have taken me too long because look at my bib number.) I finished the 10k training a few weeks ago and I was ready to race on July 4th.

I knew where I was in my training that I probably couldn’t break an hour but I have to admit that I really wanted that to happen. But I finished the 10k in 1:07. During the race I was reminded of something that Coach Dave, my high school cross country coach, said to me on the first day of practice. He said, “I don’t care how slow you run but I want you to run the whole time.” As we were climbing the big hill I kept running even when some people walked by me. I kept running even when I was passed by people pushing strollers. I kept running even when the kids dribbling basketballs finished at the same time as I did.

I’m proud of myself again because I set this goal and I accomplished it. I have also been thinking about how to change my training so that I can break the one hour mark next year. But for now, I need a goal. Actually, I’m planning a trip to Holden and another Butte to Butte for next year but I need something to focus on in the meantime.

This is the journey I am on.

Sugars are important for the body

I’m not a doctor but I think he means glucose. Yes, there are some functions in our body that require glucose. The interesting thing is that you don’t have to eat sugar or carbs to have glucose in your system. Your liver can make glucose through a process called gluconeogenesis. I would explain the process but it’s above my scientific understanding.

Puts a lot of stress on the kidneys and the bodyThis is an interesting one because he lifts up the possibility of kidney stones. And from what I have learned about keto and what I have experienced doing keto is this. You might get a kidney stone or in my case, you might get reoccurring gout. But it’s not because I am ketogenic. Instead, it’s because of all the stuff I was doing before I went keto. I had been busy building up gout crystals in my joints and I had many attacks before going keto. I am getting close to the point when I will have cleaned those joints out completely and I won’t have to worry about more flare ups. The same is true with kidney stones. As your body is cleaning itself up on a keto diet, the crystals you have been storing in your kidneys can break free and cause a kidney stone. But this isn’t an extreme state. Humans have known ketosis throughout our history it’s just in these last days that we don’t give our bodies enough of a break from the food to actually let our bodies experience it. I have heard some report that a high protein diet can be hard on the kidneys but that isn’t keto.

Medical benefits for some

The article points to one of the original purposes of the keto diet. In the 20’s it was used to treat epilepsy. It was also used for people with Type I diabetes before the invention of insulin. Insulin became the normal treatment and there are reasons why it is necessary. I’m not qualified to explain that. But, there are several clinics that are using keto to cure Type 2 diabetes. That’s right, full reversal, no medication.

If sugar isn’t why you are fat Keto won’t help

He’s right that there are many reasons why our bodies can be out of balance and gaining weight. It isn’t just the sugar. But there is more an more evidence that the problems he listed, hormonal imbalance, depression, adrenal problems, thyroid problems, inflammation and illness, can actually improve by eating keto. Especially the inflammation which causes so many other problems.

Can cause muscle loss

If this were actually true, none of us would be here. Think about for a minute. During a long winter when food was scarce if our bodies at the muscle first how could we hunt when spring arrived? We would be too weak. Humans worked to put on a little extra fat during the summer and fall so that they could survive the winter. During the winter their bodies would get energy from the fat so that their muscles would be ready to hunt. Prolonged starvation can cause muscle loss but that isn’t keto. And, more and more endurance athletes are finding keto as a great way to gain an advantage. No need to stop and refuel mid race. You’ve already got the fuel you need around your body. There was also a woman who hiked the Pacific Crest Trail while being keto. She hiked longer each day because she didn’t need to stop and eat all of the time.

Exogenous ketones are stupid

This one I agree with completely! There are only a few circumstances where they might be necessary.

Your keto diet might be filled with allergies

I don’t get his argument. Your standard diet might be filled with allergies. My statement is as true as his. Besides, there are plenty of things to eat if you are allergic to something. And, he’s obviously never made ketones in his life because it is the best anti-inflammatory out there. It’s funny because some say that people lose weight quickly an keto because it’s all water. Well, you will pee a lot in the first week or two of going keto. But really, you are just peeing out the inflammation. How do I know this? My ankles don’t lie.

It is not sustainable

If it were as hard on the body as suggested then he would probably be correct. But the mental clarity, the reduced inflammation, the weight loss, the energy boost, the better sleep, and many other benefits don’t seem as dangerous as he would make them out to be. Oh and did I mention that I am off one prescription and I am weaning off of two others?

My takeaways

The real reason why Keto gets such a bad rap is that no body makes money off of it. This is true as long as you don’t follow the fads that some would try to sell you. Everyone is making food items that are “keto friendly”. If you processed it, I’ll guaranty you that most people who have researched keto won’t come anywhere near your product. Keto is whole natural food. Low carbohydrates, moderate protein and high fat. The healthy kind not something made in a lab. When you have been keto long enough, your body will find it’s happy place. That’s what I am looking forward to. In the meantime, I’m not going to worry about what the naysayers are saying.

When Your Heart Feels Full

Sometimes your heart feels full.

Full of love, full of fear,

Full of anger, full of nothing.

It happens in the midst of life.

Sometimes it is expected,

Sometimes it is a surprise,

Sometimes it is a long time coming,

Sometimes it just is.

It is ok if your heart is full.

Full of love, full of fear,

Full of anger, full of nothing.

Because a full heart means you’re connected to life.

What Ashes Can Not Hold

Ashes can not hold life

They cannot hold love

Ashes can not even hold death.

Ashes can be scattered

They can blow free in the wind

But Ashes can not hold themselves together.

Ashes can be filled with remnants

They can hold bits of what was

But Ashes can not find their old form.

Ashes show us mortality

Life replaced by dust

But Ashes can not blot out our identity.

Ashes can not stop Jesus

New life in the midst of death

But Ashes can hold the shape of being marked and remembered.

It reminded me to set a goal and keep it. Even if it took a little longer than Ihad hoped.

For the last few weeks, the scripture we have read on Sunday morning has been filled with images of love. Now, I’m a firm believer in the idea that you will find in the world that for which you look. And, honestly, I’ve been been looking for love in the world but I’m just not seeing it. Yes, I understand that there is much love in the world and it hasn’t suddenly disappeared but the hate and the fear and the prejudice seem  to be more apparent to me at the moment.

What seems clearer to me is that what is written in Romans is true “that we are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God.” But, I am reminded that Paul doesn’t stop there. He goes on to write, “24 they are now justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.” And Paul keeps going as only Paul can. So, I’m holding this along side of Christ’s death and resurrection because it is Easter after all. And, I’m holding this along side what we read this morning–John 15:12–14 (NRSV) — 12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

With all the hate and the fear and the prejudice it seems that we are failing greatly at loving one another as God has loved us. But, I refuse to stop trying to see the love. Because when I see the love, I see God.

The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version. 1989 (Ro 3:24). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.

…and not something that happens in a day.

I remember, as a child, that I was the fat kid. I was always the biggest in my class and I always weighed the most. I hated the Presidential fitness testing because it was just more proof that I was fat. When I started High School, I played three sports a year. I was 6’4″ and I was not fat but I never really realized it. I think that many still saw me as the fat kid they had known since kindergarten. I do remember that the lowest I remember weighing was 212lbs. during cross-country season my senior year. I also remember having my wisdom teeth pulled at the end of my senior year and my resting heart rate was 47. Almost too low for them to do the procedure. I was healthy; I was an athlete.

Fast-forward to 2004 when my daughter Evelyn was born. I was almost 31 and 320lbs! It was the heaviest I had ever been and I knew that it was time for a change. I started doing weight-watchers at home and the pounds started disappearing. I got all the way down to 240lbs. I felt a lot better about myself and I was much healthier. In 2005, I started a new call with new stress and I had let myself gain weight back again. I think I made it to 290 when I realized once again it was time for a change. I started a new “lifestyle program” and again the weight came off easy. Too easy if you ask my wife! And I dropped down to 220! My high school football weight. But the problem was I wasn’t emotionally ready to be at that weight. I never dropped below 220 because for some reason it absolutely freaked me out. And life got busy again and both times that I have lost a lot of weight, I thought I was smart enough to control what I was doing.

Well, just recently I stepped on the scale and I was 250lbs. Of course, I could see it. But, I didn’t want to see it or believe it. I read the book “If I am so smart why can’t I lose weight” and I began to understand that this whole weight loss thing is truly a journey because it’s not simply about food but it’s about all the baggage of life that we carry with us. We do so many things out of emotion and so often we don’t even recognize that we are doing it.

I’m back to running three days a week and what 25lbs. does to your body is that it makes you hurt more when you run. I have had more sore joints and other problems because of the weight. I’m trying to focus on the emotional eating choices that I tend to make and I am trying to get back on track fully. But I’m struggling. I’m a closet eater and I can put away a lot of calories in a short amount of time. I tend to feel guilty after but it doesn’t stop me in the middle of a binge.

I feel awkward about even writing this blog post because I’m not looking for sympathy. And , I’m not sure that I am asking for anything but I guess I want to share my struggle because we could all be more honest about our struggles. I need to find a balance for myself because I need to be healthy and I need to set a good example about what it means to live healthy for my kids. But, sometimes I feel like I am changing a lifetime of behavior and journey isn’t easy.

I included the gallery of pictures above to give you a little idea about what those different weights look like on me.

we are dancing in the light of God.

We are dancing in the light of God,

we are dancing in the light of God.

We are dancing, (dancing, we are dancing, dancing,)

we are dancing in the light of God.

We are dancing, (dancing, we are dancing, dancing,)

we are dancing in the light of God.– Text: South African traditional; tr. Freedom Is Coming, 1984

I’ve been trying to pay attention to the moving of the Holy Spirit in my life, and it’s amazing what you discover when you pay attention.  On Transfiguration Sunday, the confirmation class had a lesson on miracles and their task was to find miracles in the Gospels. When it was time to judge the two teams I had the fun job of exclaiming what was truly a miracle, and what was not.  Little did I know that lesson was the perfect segue into worship.

Because some may say (including me) that a miracle happened during the late worship service that Sunday morning. But first, let me describe the scene at the first service:  worship ended with the hymn We are Marching in the Light of God, and it was played wonderfully on the organ; and of course, we all stood in place and sang the hymn. We sang about marching, sang about praying and sang about dancing…acting out that age old joke about Lutherans that they are the only ones who will sing Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus sitting down!  We sang beautifully, but indeed we only sang…

But at the late service the mood was a little different; Bill was playing the guitar and kids were being kids throughout worship—praising God in the only way they know:  with their voices and their movement.  And then the miracle happened when I announced the sending hymn We are Marching in the Light of God. I invited the kids to follow me around the sanctuary as we literally marched in the light of God. The second verse came and I had them fold their hands and we prayed in the light of God; and then the third verse came and I couldn’t believe the words as they came out of my mouth:  “Let’s dance!” I said, and during the third verse, we danced in the light of God!

The truth is I felt like a dork the whole time and I was a little disappointed to see that I was dancing (or whatever you might call it) the most. But it didn’t matter because we were out of the pews and doing and living what the song was suggesting. And it felt alive and it felt full of energy and I believe it was a miracle. Today, I’m thankful that the Spirit moved because it is good for us to step out of what is comfortable and do things that may feel a little crazy once in a while. And who knows, maybe as we continue to listen to the Spirit, we will find ourselves dancing in the light of God once again!

(This article will also appear in the newsletter of Faith Lutheran Church in Rochelle, IL in it’s March issue.)