MoonKween’s Kastle

ATTENTION, SHOPPERS!

moonkween — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 01:28:29 +0000

This won’t be my usual foul-mouthed sports posting. (Crucible dude? Penguins fan dude? This shit ain’t for you!).

Oops! OK, so it won’t be my usual *sports* posting.

Instead, it’s about handbags! Specifically, FREE handbags!

If you’re a fan of shopping, handbags, *free* handbags, or just general “stuff”, head on over to Home Shopping Queen’s site and register for a free Iman bag! They’re gorgeous!

Queen Bea is my source for inside shopping scoop, product information and gossip! Oh, and she also promotes products made in America! Ya hear that? MADE IN AMERICA, PEOPLE! By AMERICANS!! Love that!

Aside from being a great blogger, QB’s a great chicky-poo, so go check her out & tell her MoonKween sent’cha!

Peas!

— Oh, I’m hoping to be back to bloggin’ by early next week, foolios! WOOT!

(Photo courtesy of Home Shopping Queen. Well, I didn’t exactly get permission from her, but if she complains I’ll just get it from Google images!)

R.I.P, Grannies

moonkween — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 02:00:02 +0000

I’ve never really written about my own family, but I wanted to take the time to acknowledge the passing of my great-grandmother, Jewel Brewer, on Friday, October 31, 2008.

She was 90 years old and had 6 kids — 3 boys & 3 girls (one of which is my MeMe) — and was married to Rudy for almost 75 years. She gets a gold star for lookin’ at the same man for that long.

She also never learned to drive. Love that about her. Grandpa & other family members always drove her up & down the Ozark Mountains.

Grandma hated Halloween. I think her passing on October 31 was her way of giving the middle finger to Halloween…that is, *if* she were to give the middle finger, which I doubt she’d ever done. Go Grandma!

In other passing granny news, Barack Obama’s grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, passed away in Hawaii today, the day before election day. The 86-year-old had battled cancer.

(Photo: CNN.com)

Nothing but good thoughts go out to the Dunham & Obama families.

And my loves goes to you, MoonKween’s fam — wish I was there! muah!

Fantasy Football Update #2

moonkween — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:18:24 +0000

I lied to you, my faithful Kastle fans. I stated in my last blog that I’d update you all on my fantasy football status for my 11 teams each week, and I’ve failed you. My blogging license should be revoked faster than Nick Hogan’s driver’s license.

Well, I probably shoulda saved this for tomorrow so that I can include results from tonight’s Redskins/Steelers Monday Night match up, but, what the hell…I’m a rebel.

Let me begin by saying this: I don’t suck a big one! I don’t suck — I don’t!! WOOT! My overall record coming into week 9 is 51-37. I’m waaay over .500, bitches!

I’ve managed my key injuries quite well (“Whatchu Talkin’ ‘Bout” Willis McGahee, LaDainian “Turf Toe” Tomlinson, Rashard “Ow, My Arm!” Mendenhall, Reggie “I Heart Kim Kardashian” Bush, and most recently (like, yesterday!) Kyle “Ouch, My Ankle!” Orton).

I’ve also managed my list o’ You-Were-Supposed-To-Kick-Ass-But,-DAYUM-You-Suck-Ass players well enough (Kellen “The Browns Gave Me A Staph Infection and Didn’t Give A Shit” Winslow, Ben “Over Rated” Roethlisberger, Chad “Don’t Let My 15 Points In Week 8 Fool Ya” Johnson Ocho Cinco, and Jeremy Shockey).

A few of my key pickups: Matt Schaub (but now his ass is out for a month with an MCL injury!), “Orange” Julius Jones, Jay “Interception” Cutler, and the aforementioned Mr. Ouch, My Ankle!.

I only have one team that’s in a private league. Private league = $$$$ prizes! In that league, my week 8 record was 3-5 (not so hot) but I think I’m gonna win week 9. Sorry, Jill! muahahah muuuahahahahaah muahahahahaahahahauuuuuahahahaha

OK, so that’s my week 8 update — I’m 51-37. Mmm, yea, that’s all I have to share.

Maybe next time I’ll update y’all on how many points these hos have for the season….until then…

Fantasy Football Update #1

moonkween — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 09:17:36 +0000

Ok, lambs, week 3 is behind us and week 4 is staring down our mullets gullets. Out of 11 teams and after 3 weeks, my total record is 20-13. It may not sound like much, but considering my shiteous team last year finished 4-10, my record thusfar is stellar, bitches!

I’m gonna try to do these updates to MoonKween’s fantasy teams every week, time permitting. I’ll let you know of any pickups and/or drops and I’ll also admit how these homos did for me every week. Let’s get it on!

Week 4 will be a rough one, since 6 teams are on byes, and the players we *thought* would be PLAYAS! have turned to dust (Ocho Cinco, I’m talkin’ to yo’ ass!). I’ve had to make many moves this week and I hope they pan out.

Adrian Peterson‘s supposed to be at 100% but Usher’s LaDainian Tomlinson‘s still nursin’ that jacked up piggy, so we’ll see…….we’ll see.

I don’t have a ton of franchise type guys, so it’s come down to playing the lesser of the two evils at a particular posish this week 4.

A few of my tough drops/adds have been (and I say “tough” because other desperate bitches in my leagues have tried to pick ’em up — too bad, so sad, yo’ dad!…what am I sayin’, my teams suck!):

Justin Gage (WR, Ten) and Reggie Williams (WR, Jac) for Hank Baskett (WR, Phi) – 2 different leagues
Derrick Mason (WR, Bal) for Brandon Lloyd (WR, Chi)
Todd Heap (TE, Bal) and Jeremy Shockey (TE, NO) for Anthony Fasano (TE, Mia) – 2 different leagues
Chris Brown (RB, Hou) for Bo Scaife (TE, Ten)
Ron Dayne (RB, Hou – what the HELL happened to *this* dude!!??) for Le’Ron McClain (RB, Bal)
Jeff Garcia (QB, TB) for Kyle Orton (QB, Chi) – I tried for Trent Edwards (QB, Buf) but some other ho scooped him up before me!

There were several more moves I made (such as pickin’ up J.T. O’Sullivan — top o’ the mornin’ to ya!) but I don’t have time to talk about ’em all here.

If you’re a football fan, *kindly* let me know what you think about how these 2nd & 3rd string players will do. Opinions are like…..well, you know…..so be nice, bitches!

I’ll leave you with these twits. I kinda like ’em cuz they drop a few F-bombs, they have that typical Bros Before Hos, frat-boy-douchebag, kinda thing goin’ on and they said “Jerricho CROTCHERY“! That being said, their fantasy picks suck a big one. Kellen Winslow? Seriously?!?! She can’t catch *herpes*, let alone a football!

First Presidential Debate Tonight

moonkween — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:17:19 +0000

I don’t consider myself to be a “political” person — I have other (smarter) blogger friends to cover the heavy shit. But this presidential election will go down in history and I’m pretty excited about it. I’m not “thrilled” about either candidate, personally, but I can’t wait to see how it all plays out.

Of course you’ve got your “less-experienced” African American candidate, Barack Hussein Obama II, for whom millions of rednecks won’t vote because “he’s black” (stoopid!). Then you’ve got your pepaw candidate, John Sidney McCain III, who chose Sarah Palin as his running mate (why, God?).

I may not be the most politically inspired American, but I sure as hell ain’t votin’ for McCain just because his VP running mate has boobs! If he chose Palin in an attempt to lure away the Hillary Clinton voters, it was lost on me.

I don’t know what to think about either of these yay-hoos, but I’ll be tuning into the debates at 9 p.m. EST tonight to witness the fireworks.

No matter where you stand on voter issues, peeps, read up, get educated & REGISTER TO VOTE!

Let the games BEGIN, America!

First Real Post On WordPress

moonkween — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 14:59:09 +0000

As I said here, I’m in the process of gettin’ this new joint up & runnin’, which means learnin’ the lay o’ the land on WordPress. It’s very different from the Blogger site so hang in there with me, fans & loyal readers.

Some older posts here might look a little wonky — that’s due to the fact that I had to import my entire list of posts from Blogger into WordPress. Some formatting got jacked in the process, but I can live with it if you can.

Like with every new project I start, I want to completely immerse myself in the fabulocity for hours on end until I learn everything I possibly can. But alas, I cannot do so today. Why? ‘Cause it’s FOOTBALL SUNDAY, hos!!!! Woot!

For now, I’m off to set today’s lineups for my 11 fantasy teams (anybody else hate “game-time decisions”?)! I’ll see what I can do with this hot mess I’ve got…wish me luck!

More to come at the new Kastle!

OK, Folks, Here We Go – Fantasy Football!

moonkween — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 22:19:00 +0000

My only 3 fans have emailed me wantin’ more, more, more. Just like little newborns who want to suckle every half hour. Dayum! I’m doin’ the best I can!

Between the realization that my Braves are the worst team in baseball (65 wins as of today, so pretty much true) and back-to-school craziness, and work, and soccer and every other parental stressor, I’ve been MIA. For that, I apologize to you faithful fans. Both of you.

I can honestly say that I haven’t watched an entire Braves game in about 2 months (it’s bad, folks) but the fantasy football bug has sure as hell bit the shit outta me.

Last year I had 1 team — this year I have 11. Obsess much?

Needless to say, I can’t give you the blow-by-blow on every player that I own, but let’s just say that after week one, it ain’t lookin’ too pretty.

I did have a few wins last week, but I don’t think I even have a .500 record between all those teams of mine. Sad, sad.

LaDainian Tomlinson was a let-down. Willis McGahee = nothin’. Chester The Molester Taylor was pitiful. Kellen Winslow, Santonio Holmes, terrible, terrible.

I’m lookin’ forward to my match-up this week with my private league’s commish. She talks a lotta shit ’cause she’s got Romolicious, but I’m rollin’ the dice with Jay Cutler this time around. Screw Eli Manning!!

I have no idea who that bitch is, but I did an image search for fantasy football and there she was. You’re welcome, Marky Mark. I’m sure she has a great personality, is really smart, and knows a lot about football. Mmm-hmm. I’m convinced of it.

Anyboobs, if you’re managing fantasy teams this year, good luck, bitches!!

Nothing To See Here

moonkween — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:25:00 +0000

I’ve been out of it for a few days, lambs. “Down in the dumps”, as MeMe would say. Feelin’ just BLAH.

Since I’ve last posted, Manny became a Dodger, Brett became a Jet, the Braves are 9.5 games out of first..and most grievously, our beloved Skip Caray passed, taking my childhood and most of adulthood with him.

Suffice it to say, those last two happenings have just about done me in. I feel like my head’s not on straight (like, when has it *ever* been on straight, right??)

I’ll pop back on the blog soon, I hope. Just too much goin’ on right now to crank out a quality post.

Junior Off To Chi-Town

moonkween — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:27:00 +0000

Ken Griffey, Jr. has agreed to be traded from the Cincinnati Reds to the Chicago White Sox.

As a 10/5 player (10 years in the bigs, 5 with the same team), he had the right to thumb his nose as the Sox’s offer. Griff’s in his 9th season with the Red Legs.

Full deets forthcoming, but as it stands, he’s going from 4th to 1st, so good for him! The White Sox lead the AL Central by 1.5 games. The down & out Reds are 7 games below .500 and 13.5 out in the NL Central race.

We’ll see how the Sox shuffle the defense since they’re already at full capacity in the outfield with Jermaine Dye & Carlos Quentin at the corners and Nick Swisher in center. Speculation is that Swisher would platoon with Paul Konerko. Nicky’s only hittin’ .230 with 15 HRs and 50 RBIs.

Griff would then man the CF spot, a position he hasn’t played in 2 years.

Welcome back to the AL, Junior!

Manny The Marlin?

moonkween — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:17:00 +0000

Reports are circulating that the Red Sox, Marlins & Pirates are working on a 3-way “blockbuster” trade that would land Manny Ramirez in Miami (for 2 months), Jeremy Hermida in Pittsburgh and Jason Bay in Boston.

Florida’s Josh Willingham may also get shifted, but nothing’s confirmed.

What a strange twist of fate for Manny Being Mouthy. He would go from perennial sell-out Fenway Park with an annual average attendance of 36,000+ to Dolphin Stadium where the average 2008 attendance is less than half that — 15,463.

Granted, having the 2-month rental of this dingleberry would probably greatly improve attendance for the Marlins, thus skewing attendance results for eternity. But the Fish *are* involved in a pennant race, so one would hope that fans would head out to support their hometown team.

The Marlins are only 1.5 games out of first place with a big Philly series opening on Aug. 5 and the Mets 3 days later.

Lots o’ baseball left, lambs. Anything can happen!