If you’re going to chase a rabbit top speed across the fenced in yard you’ve had for over a year, make sure to stop running or at least slow down BEFORE hitting the fence head on, as the rabbit runs under.

Name the reference. Yes, an 80s Eddie Murphy song “Party All The Time”. I am issuing a TMI alert. This post is about what we think it is. Potty talk.

My husband urged me to write this post and I can’t blame him. Its very valuable information–at least if you live in my area. I’m rating my retail store potty experiences because it seems I can’t resist using the restroom at any store I enter. I don’t know why about 15 mins into the shopping experience, I feel a sudden urge(as I said TMI alert) to use the potty. Immediately. I don’t know why. Doug thinks all of a sudden I become stress free and relaxed in that environment(when kidless). Therefore, blood pressure drops, tensions release. Did I mention the TMI alert? I can only hope this information is fun for you as well. Enjoy!

Wal-Mart SuperCenter Montgomery, IL: Awesome facility, always spotless, warm water faucet, plenty of room and a couple of kid size sinks; drawback-not always open due to cleaning in which case you better have allowed plenty of time to race to the back of the store for backup restroom.

Wal-Mart Aurora: Restroom is in back of Subway shop; just run outside behind a shrub.

Farm & Fleet, Montgomery: Fine, plenty of room, clean, paper towel or hand dryer option; always available and lots of store ads plastered on the walls if you need a pair of mom jeans on sale. Or tack.

Meijer, Oswego: thankfully a restroom at the back of the store because the ones in the front are inconvenient unless you plan well and can walk to other side of store in between door vestibule; clean enough. Family restroom located in cafe. Good for shoppers. A potential bad deal for the cafe diners. Unsettling if you see a deli employee come out of there and return to work.

Target, No. Aurora: Clean, nothing stands out; if you have kids with you though, the Family restroom is a good choice. Plenty of room with a changing station.

Target, Oswego: Need a map to find it–the restroom, not the store.

Woodman’s, No. Aurora: Stalls a little tiny but a dozen toilet paper rolls in each. Best feature? The hand dryer. Must be jet propelled because the force of air actually pushes your skin back like standing in a wind tunnel. Fun for the whole family.

Granted its been a couple years since I’ve had to change a diaper in any of these so my information is lacking in that area. Perhaps I can go back and write a follow up. These are just my observations as I journey through retail.

25 years ago this month, I was in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. I was thrown across the car to the passenger windshield where my head/face hit. Bent the shift bar  (on the console not the steering column) 90 degrees with my left ankle. Had a concussion, crushed left ankle, sprained right wrist, windshield glass in forehead, eyelids, face and across neck. One parked car was sideswiped, 4 mailboxes and posts mowed down, and my car kept from entering a house by hitting the tree in the front yard. I had no idea I hit a tree. I was the drunk. By the grace of God, I survived and no other person was involved aside from the property damage.

Two 1/2 weeks in the hospital, 2 ankle surgeries, plastic surgery, and a cast for 3 months. I was told I would never walk without a limp nor play tennis and softball(my signature sports at the time) again. I did eventually play tennis and softball but only for another 10 years. Man I wish I could still play tennis.

So maybe next time a Chiropractor, Neurosurgeon or Orthopedist asks was there any sort of event that caused the pain I’m in now, I should say, “Yeah. The ingestion of an 8 oz tumbler of Southern Comfort and two beers in less than an hour on an empty stomach before getting into the car.”  Good times.

I haven’t thought about this in detail for awhile. It just occurred to me that it’s been 25 years. There are so many facets and lessons in this thing but honestly I’d only be preachin’ to the choir and I don’t feel like saying much else. Just looking back.

Yes it is true. Approx 30 mins prior to a severe storm system passing through our area tonight, my husband watched a tornado feature on Discovery’s “Raging Planet”. With the children. Moments before bedtime. After bedtime prayers, We spent 15-20 mins. convincing children there were no tornados in Aurora, let alone Illinois this time of year. Still, we did discuss where to go if there were a tornado, if Champ would fit in the closet and which neighbor’s basement to run to. The kids picked 3 different neighbors. Then the stern instruction to go to bed.

A few minutes later, thunder came (which I did not hear) and lightning (which I did not see). Annaliese heard and saw and was blown off by mom and dad with yet another “there is no storm now go to bed!”. Beep beep beep from the tv: “The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch for the following counties…” You’ve GOT to be freaking kidding me. We suck.

JD did enjoy watching me run to the car in the downpour with his Lightning McQueen umbrella to close the cracked car windows I forgot about. So that made him feel better. I’m so glad.

Now that all three kids are in school, I have a couple private hours in the morning during Annaliese’s 1/2 day Kindergarten. I just started to take walks around the neighborhood where our kids go to school. I’m already out and dressed, I haven’t started any projects yet, and the homes are cool lookin’. I’m enjoying the 25-30 minutes of quiet in my head. However, it gets me thinkin’. Depending on who you are, that’s either a good or a bad thing!

Today, I had to pass through a group of maybe 10 middle school aged kids. They were grouped in little pockets here and there. Not a smile on their faces. Some looked intimidated. Some looked intimidating. Some looked absolutely bored. So I walked through, smiled and said, “Good morning.” One kid muttered hi. Then I got to thinking. Here are my random thoughts. Enjoy!

What would it take to turn a bus stop situation into a genuine community building environment? Its already a built in small group. They see each other everyday. Couldn’t be a formal outreach church affiliated thing. Shouldn’t be a planned activity. What brings kids(or people) together? Hmm. Something they can make fun of. Something they can talk about. Something that lets their guard down. My dog. If you’ve read anything about my giant dog, you know he is DEFINITELY a conversation starter, the big lummox. Or, what if I did something dumb like tripped and fell or just tripped and looked stupid? That would give them something to laugh over and talk about. Not that that’s a good thing to make fun of someone but come on, its a conversation starter.

Maybe not even something that overt. Brainstorm. Wouldn’t it be cool to have the kids come together as a team than just have them try to survive the bus ride? How do we create an environment for that? I recalled Jeff Shinabarger’s post on the bench project. What simple creative ideas are out there?

I used to be better at accepting bad news that begs the question why or how. Why is this happening to such good people? How can this possibly be of any benefit or for the greater good? My stock answer has usually been, “we may never know this side of heaven” and “who are we to ask why? God will never leave us in this hard time.” But the last year has really attacked my uber-spiritual attitude and I am in the thick of “why, why, why”–more so for others because Doug & I have been amazingly blessed and safe. It is difficult to accept with grace, that even though we prayed and prayed and prayed in many situations, our will was not done.

Below are lyrics to one of my favorite songs about this very subject. Amy Grant performed it live at the memorial service for the victims of the Columbine High School shootings in 1999.

Lyrics to Somewhere Down The Road(Behind The Eyes 1997) :
(Amy Grant & Wayne Kirkpatrick)

So much pain and no good reason why
You’ve cried until the tears run dry
And nothing here can make you understand
The one thing that you held so dear
Is slipping from your hands
And you say

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say is

[Chorus:]
Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Though we cannot see it now
Somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Yesterday I thought I’d seen it all
I thought I’d climbed the highest wall
Now I see the learning never ends
And all I know to do is keep on walking
Walking ’round the bend, saying

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say is

Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Though we cannot see it now
Somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Why, why, why
Does it go this way
Why, why, why
And all I can say is
All I know to say now

Somewhere down the road
There’ll be answers to the questions
Somewhere down the road
Though we cannot see it now
Somewhere down the road
You will find mighty arms reaching for you
And they will hold the answers at the end of the road

Enjoy.

I took Maddie and Annaliese to The Disney Store in the mall to get a present for a friend. I secretly brought their wad of birthday money in case they saw something. It was like watching Michael Jackson shopping in Vegas during the Bashir interview “I’ll take one of those, and one of those, and some of these”. BOGO stuffed animals; 75% off sunglasses; 40% off Ariel shoes for Annaliese; 50% off Tinkerbell Fairies collection for Maddie. It was dizzying. It was a dangerous position to put myself in. Cash. Girls. Store. SALE. But I showed restraint and reined them in as well.

For instance, I know Maddie and Annaliese have had their eyes on certain toys for awhile. So, when they saw something new, I reminded them of what they’ve been wanting and gave them a choice between that or the new thing. For Annaliese, it’s an addiction to stuffed animals which she names right there in the store. For Maddie, it is an Island Princess Barbie Karaoke Styling Head. Yeah, I know. She saw it at Toys R Us after Christmas on clearance but we just couldn’t get it then. Over the next six months, she would talk about it as a prospective birthday present or chore money purchase. Now she had her birthday money. It was time. Once the girls paid for their loot, we rode an escalator down then back up, watched a fountain and threw in a few pennies. Then off to Toys R Us with a mission.

No way this thing is still there. I’d never seen it advertised and Island Princess Barbie is SO 2007. I’m not kidding she ran through the store to get to the display. Of course it wasn’t there so we went to the Barbie aisle. Thumbelina Barbie’s were 50% off. Score! Um, except Island Princess Barbie Karaoke Styling Head was on the opposite shelf. Just sitting there. Unpriced. Squeals and jumping up and down and clapping(both girls). Annaliese was so happy for Maddie. They may have hugged. I didn’t see. Now the other issue–price. Off to find a scanner. Meanwhile, IT’S in the cart, growing attached. I was so afraid she wouldn’t have enough money left. On top of her previous spree, she’d promised JD a new light saber(green) since he didn’t have his own birthday money yet.  Found the scanner. Scanned. Why didn’t I bring the TUMS? One second, the beep. 40% off. 

Are you freakin’ kidding me?

This was either God’s reward for her generosity and patience, or a searing of her woman’s heart with the thrill of the Bargain Find!

In either case, she is enjoying the thrill of finally getting what you wanted after waiting, working and planning for it. She doesn’t know she’s learning but we have a good memory to build on. Heck of a day with a couple of girls at the mall don’t you think?

Great gathering at The Orchard tonight. Loved hearing from our guest speaker Mark Miller tonight.

I’ve learned when listening to speakers that if something catches your ear, eye, or heart, run with it and don’t worry about getting all the other points written down. Went there tonight. Mark was talking about how we can make “God deposits” into our heart otherwise its going to be very difficult to make wise choices. He mentioned we could receive deposits by coming to a church gathering, reading God’s word, praying, loving…  And then I didn’t hear the rest. I recognize those things as disciplines or practices that can help our spiritual growth but I’d never heard “loving” listed among them.

As a new believer in Jesus 20 years ago, I met one on one with a friend who led me through a “Discipleship 101″ book. It listed all the things to do to become a more mature believer: Pray, Read the Bible, Memorize Scripture, Give, Share the Gospel. And then it gave lessons and exercises on how to do these things. No one ever told me until MUCH later on my spiritual journey to love other people without agenda as a way to grow in Christ. My heart expanded quickly and exponentially when I began looking out for others more than myself.

So to help new Christ followers along their journey, what if we communicated simply that one of the richest things you can do to become closer to Jesus, is to treat people the way he did? To see others as intentionally made by God, with a purpose, and as recipients of His grace. How would that change your journey if the spiritual practice of loving one another was given just as much attention as reading, praying or memorizing?

When searching for an odd smell in the kitchen, be sure to check underneath the over-the-sink cutting board to see if its the dish soaking on that side of the sink. The dish that held the chicken breast from last week.

I’m pretty sure Kristen Jones just threw up a little in her mouth reading this.