Brahmacarya is not an external factor.  It is the first asrama (stage of life in spiritual society).  Thereafter, we progress through the others. We shouldn’t identify with these external designations (eg. student, householder and renunciate).  They are useful for social dealings.  The word asrama is from the Sanskrit word asraya which means ‘shelter’ – shelter according to one’s consciousness.  Brahmacari asrama is a very simple asrama for students.  You can remain brahmacari (celibate student) if you are tolerant.  In this way we can overcome material desire.  Of course, we have to be tolerant in all asramas, but here we are talking about brahmacarya.  

Today’s society is not Krishna Conscious.  Therefore, it is best to remain brahmacari.  By developing tolerance one can remain fixed.  Devotees have to face the material world.  They have to face Maya (illusion) directly.  It is, therefore, difficult to be a strict and true brahmacari.  Consciousness is, therefore, more important than varna and asrama.  We have to identify ourselves as eternal servants of Krishna and see that everything is the property of Krishna.  Over-identification with one’s asrama is also not healthy.  We act according to our asramas, but we identify ourselves as eternal servants of Krishna.

Our first business is to establish a relationship with Madan Mohan, the attractor of Cupid (or lust).  ’We are trying, now, to turn our attraction from Cupid to Madan Mohanji.’  When Krishna and His devotees bestow this attraction upon us, we make advancement.  One is awarded by one’s devotional attitude.  Even Brahman (impersonal) realization is attractive.  The Bhagavad-gita mentions how, upon gaining this, one thinks there is no greater gain.  This comes after anartha-nivritti, when the dirty things in the heart are gone.  Brahman is so attractive that the jnanis and the mayavadis are prepared to sacrifice their own identity to achieve it.  Krishna is always attractive – in any of His features.  Unless you realize aham brahmasmi - ‘I am spirit’ – you cannot understand Krishna’s pastimes.

The Bhagavad-gita further explains that for one who has controlled his mind, the Paramatma (the Supersoul, the Lord within everyone’s heart) is attained.  Ceto darpanam marjanam.  This is where Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s Movement begins. Give up the dirty things in your heart and engage in Krishna’s service.  We must strictly follow the rules of sadhana bhakti so long as we have a material  body and so long as we identify with it.  First, get your spiritual legs.  Understand what is spiritual ground.  Then you can make progress.  Realization of nama (the Lord’s Holy Name) enables us to realize Krishna’s presence.  Later He will reveal His rupa (form), guna (qualities) and lila (pastimes).  Srila Prabhupada taught that we should just surrender to the sound vibration and depend on the Holy Name to reveal Himself.

We should not jump prematurely.  We should first approach Madana Mohana.  There is a progression that has been given by the acaryas.  We come to the point of Madana Mohana by strictly following sadhana (practical spiritual activities, particularly chanting God’s name),  This cleanses the heart.  We should remember that we can’t get Krishna by sadhana.  Persons who are part of the hladini-sakti (the Lord’s spiritual energy) like Rupa Goswami can give it.  Krishna is only achieved by love.

Indra is probably the most desirable position in the material world.  The position of Indra affords the most material enjoyment because Indra is king of the heavenly planets.

The Hari Bhakti Vilas provides a beautiful meditation on Krishna.  It describes how His shark-shaped earrings reflect on His shiny cheeks; the masses of His black, curly hair; how He is lying on a couch, playing His flute.  The demigods appear before Krishna (in his majestic feature).  They are offering prayers to Him.  The Gandharvas are there also.

There are 8,400,000 different types of bodies in this world – all based on different combinations of material desires.

The bulls and the cows come and see Krishna.  That is called santa rasa (love of God in neutrality).  There are also the babies, with bells on their ankles, the cowherd boys and the elder gopis.  The gopis faces are half-covered and their eyes are half-closed.   They are trying to see Krishna.  They are trembling uncontrollably.  They try to suppress their trembling, so the bells around their waists and ankles won’t ring. 

These are meditations for pujaris (priests of the Deity).

The neophyte devotee’s objective is to see the Deity form of Krishna in the Temple.  Ideally, we should also see Krishna in everyone’s heart.

Srila Prabhupada was on Juhu beach with one of his disciples, Dravida Maharaja.  They were looking at the ocean.  Srila Prabhupada asked, ‘What do you see?’  Dravida replied, ‘Krishna.’  Srila Prabhupada asked, ‘How?’  Maharaja answered, ‘I am the taste of water.’  Prabhupada looked a the salty water, ‘See.  This is the energy of Krishna.’

Sometimes you look at Radha-Gopinath (the Deities at the Mumbai Temple) and you see it’s Krishna.  You don’t have to analyze.  The gopis see a black tamala tree.  Radharani embraces the tamala tree.  All Her friends laugh at Her.  It’s not that they don’t see a tree – but they see Krishna (the tamala tree is black like Him).  They see things, but they see Krishna present in them.

The demigiods are not pure, unalloyed devotees.  Even in Vaikuntha.  In Vaikuntha they are pure, but they are not unalloyed.  The residents of Goloka Vrindavan are unalloyed.  The devas or demigods are devotees, but they are thinking of their desires.  Pure, unalloyed devotees only want Krishna’s pleasure.  Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to teach that.

Indra will kill Vritrasura with the bones of Dadici.  Vritrasura knows this.  When Indra drops his weapon, Vritrasura says, ‘Pick up your weapon and kill me.  It is Vishnu’s will that you kill me.’

The demigods fear death because they do not want to lose their position.  Srila Prabhupada, ‘Do you believe in reincarnation?’  The devotees, ‘No.  We are going back to Godhead.’  Prabhupada, ‘Lord Caitanya’s waiting for the devotees with a Sankirtan party.’

The Srimad Bhagavatam will bring out the particular relationship we have with Krishna.  The Bhagavatam gives all the different relationships you can have with Krishna.

The devotees do not want anything.  For example, Hanuman.  If Lord Rama wants Hanuman to have liberation, he’ll take it.  But, if it interferes with his service, he’ll reject it.

Who has come to give this essence of what Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to give? Krishna came 5,000 years ago.  He performed divine pastimes.  He left instructions, sarva-dharman parityajya - just surrender unto Me.  People couldn’t follow such a high standard in the Age of Kali.  So, Caitanya Mahaprabhu came – with no demands.  Just giving.  Freely giving vraja-prema.  Mahaprabhu’s our hero.

There is a prediction.  All the different sampradayas (disciplic traditions in India) will fall under Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s Sankirtan mission.  Caitanya Mahaprabhu declared, ‘I will give them the opportunity to taste vraja-prema.  This is the maha-mantra.’

We are eternal.  We have an eternal relationship with Krishna.  Simultaneously, we have come from Krishna - aham sarvasya prabhavo.  ’Make an eternal change!’   You can change your eternal relationship.  There is the example of Shymananda.  He had a relationship of friendship with Krishna, but obtained a relationship in the conjugal rasa.  He changed his attitude in the association of Jiva Goswami, Narrottama and Srinivas.  His guru beat him with a stick, ‘Why are you crying in ecstasy hearing the pastimes of Radha and Krishna?  You don’t know what pleasure you’re missing in sakhya rasa.  You’re taking something lower!’

You cannot change you eternal position as servant of God or Krishna - jivera svarupa haya krisnera nitya das.  Bhaktivinoda Thakura explains different relationships.  If you want material relationships – even with your own family.  When you’re realized, you can even have an eternal planet with your own family!  This is called satya sankalpa.  When you are pure, everything you desire becomes manifest. If you want to be a friend of Krishna, you can take birth in a family of gopas (cowherds), where their association will draw that relationship out.  You will get the association of nitya-siddhas (eternally perfect souls) and take birth as a gopi with gopis - if that is your pure desire.  The mood has to be empowered by devotees.  Thereafter, you go to the Spiritual World or the Kingdom of God.

You can change your body in the material world, so why not spiritually?

Image of a modern fountain pen writing in cursive script. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Based, in part, on my discussions with a respected and prolific South African author.

It is best not to be too conscious about the process.  Don’t cripple yourself.  Don’t break your own mirror.

The writing of books is like a journey and, sometimes, you reach the end.

Go with the flow.  Let it come from the unconscious.

Don’t get diverted by interesting facts or ideas that are only indirectly related to the task at hand.  Don’t waste time.

Historical novels leave room for details, for example the way servants might kneel at the hearth in 18th century Dutch South Africa would be reasonable for an historical novel.  Such portraits from daily life add to the texture of a fiction or a description of the past.  They do not necessarily fit into a standard historical narrative.  On the other hand, a ‘standard’ historical narrative need not be embellished.

Read classics.

Be mindful of mistakes when reading languages that are not your first language.  You will avoid embarrassment and (possibly severe) criticism.  You will earn the respect of those proficient in those languages.

Get feedback from other writers, friends, acquaintances, the man in the street.

For historical novels, familiarize yourself with the historical setting.  Visit museums, historical places, look at books on costumes etc.  Speak to experts on the field.

Write with a pen or pencil or fountain pen.  Write on paper.  Computers tend to give writing a cut-and-paste effect.

‘Fiction is not wholly the creation of an imaginary world, any more than history is the total description of a real one’ – Phillipa Gregory (Historical Novelist)

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 8,800 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 15 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

What is life?  A newborn child displays the symptoms of life.  You can hear the sound of it and feel its warmth.  Sometimes a newborn baby is awake and sometimes alseep.  The child will grow, then die.  Where did its life force go?  What did its short stay in this world mean?  Do we have no choice in this world?

‘I am confident that there truly is such a thing as living again, that the living spring from the dead, and that the souls of the dead are in existence’ – Socrates.

‘The soul comes from without into the human body, as into a temporary abode, and it goes out o it anew…it passes into other habitations, for the soul is immortal’ – Emerson

[From Steven Rosen, The Reincarnation Controversy]

VERSE

kvacic caturbhujatve ‘pi na tyajet krsna-rupatam/ atah prakasa eva syat tasyasau dvibhujasya ca

TRANSLATION

‘Sometimes even in a four-armed form, Krsna does not give up His nature as Krsna, the son of Yasoda.  That form should be considered a prakasa of the two-armed form’

COMMENTARY

‘But should not the four-handed form that Krsna showed to Rukmini when she fainted in fear that he would leave her be considered vilasa, since the shape is different?  This verse answers.  According to Medini-kosa, rupa means ‘nature’ and ‘beauty’.  Thus krsna-rupatam [quoted in the original Sanskrit verse translated above] means ‘He does not give up his nature of Krsna as the son of mother Yasoda.  Because His nature remains he same, he should be considered the same, prakasa, instead of vilasa.’  The two-armed form is the basic form in that situation.  Thus in the smrti it says yatravatirnam krsnakhyam param brahma narakrti:  amongst the Yadhu, the supreme brahman called Krsna appeared in a human form (Visnu Purana 4.11.4).  There is no disturbance of the two-handed form if sometimes for joking there is a prakasa of four hands, because even then Krsna’s nature remains that of the two-handed form.  The same explanation can be given for Krsna’s four-handed appearance when He was born in the prison house, where it is said babhuva prakrtah sisuh:  he then appeared in His original baby form (SB 10.3.46)’

English: Rupa Goswami (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I rushed to get ready for the flight to Mauritius.  Ronnie and Bertha called to wish me a safe flight. We met a girl called Margaux at the airport who happened to be going to the Kumbha Mela and bade her join our party.

I re-read Sikhi’s letters of recommendation for initiation and to Shymananda prabhu, the Temple President of Chowpatty Temple, on the plane. .

Ranchor was the consummate host.  His spiritual master, Giriraja Swami, had instructed him to take nice care of any visitors who came to Mauritius – a service he executes with great aplomb.  I was impressed by the way he had called the airport, double-checked our expected time of arrival and was waiting for us there.  Mr Raghunandana, his wife and daughter made up the rest of the arrival party.  A porter passed by and, noticing our dhotis and neck-beads, proudly informed us that he had met Srila Prabhupada in Mauritius in 1974.  Ranchor spoke animatedly about the devotee community and the history of the island as he drove us to his house.  He invited Margaux to join us for the night, and assured her he would help her find accomodation the next day.  He offered us a drink, then showed us to our rooms.

The next day we visited the ISKCON Temple in Quatre Borne.  The horizons of the Temple are flanked, on the one side, by jagged volcanic mountains; and a Continental Supermarket, Toys ‘R Us and a Phoenix Beer warehouse on the other.  The devotees want to build a large Temple on the present Temple grounds.

We had a beautiful darsan of Sri Sri Radha-Golokananda and spoke to Sundarlall, Govinda Charan and another devotee.  We also met a devotee called Sudama Vipra who lives in Rosebelle.  Two matajis with bright, smiling faces – Shahini and Radha-Bhakti – gave me a sponsored copy of the Ramayana in the Temple book room.  Radha-Golokananda were exquisitely beautiful.  Srimati Radharani held out Her lotus hand, and showered Her blessings on everyone.   Margaux was gazing on the Deities with wonder and devotion.  She kept on saying, ‘They are so beautiful!  They are so beautiful!’  Later on, I showed Margaux how to chant the maha-mantra on japa-mala.

English: Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This is one of my favourite classes by the founder of the Hare Krishna movement, Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada.

manusyanam sahasresu/kascid yatati siddhaye/yatatam api siddhanam/ kascin mam vetti tatvattah

‘Out of many thousands among men, one may endeavor for perfection, and of those who have achieved perfection, hardly one knows me in truth’ [Bg. 7.3]

‘To understand Krsna is not very easy.  Krsna says manusyanam sahasresu: ‘Out of many millions and millions of persons,’ one tries to become perfect.  Who is going to become perfect, especially in this age?  Everyone is working like cats and dogs.  The whole day is spent working for eating, sleeping, sex and defense, that’s all.  People are not living as manusyas, as human beings.

ahara-nidra-bhaya-maithunam ca/samanyam etat pasubhir naranam/dharmo hi tesam adhiko viseso/dharmena hinah pasubhih samanah

‘Both animals and humans share the activities of eating, sleeping, mating and defending.  But the special property of the humans is that they are able to engage in spiritual life.  Therefore without spiritual life, humans are on the level of animals [Hitopadesa]

What is the difference between my eating and the dog’s?  He is eating according to his taste, and I am eating according to my taste.  The eating business is there in the dog also.  Don’t think that your eating is different because you are eating nice preparations on a table, with a chair and plates.  It is still eating.

People say, ‘Because I am eating nice preparations on a table, I am civilized’.  The sastra, scripture, says that although your food may be different, your eating and the dog’s eating are the same.   You are not civilized just by eating at a table.  Similarly, the dog can sleep on the street without caring for anything, and we cannot sleep without a nice apartment, but both we and the dog are sleeping.   And for sexual intercourse, the dog has no shame.  It can enjoy sex on the street.  We have some restrictions, but the sex is there nonetheless.  And bhaya means defense, to take care of our fears.  That is there in the dog and in you also.  It does not make any difference.  Because you have discovered the atomic bomb for defense, that does not mean that you are better than a dog.  He defends himself according to his intelligence, and you defend yourself according to your intelligence.

Human beings and animals have these four businesses in common: eating, sleeping, mating, and defending.  Then what is the special advantage of human life?  That advantage is athato brahma jijnasa: You should be inquisitive to know the value of life, the Absolute Truth.  The dog cannot do that.  That is the distinction between a dog and a human being.  In the human form of life there should be inquiry about Brahman and Parabrahman, spirit and the Supreme Spirit.  When you attain brahma-jnana, knowledge of the Absolute Truth, that is your perfection, not competing with the dog in eating, sleeping, mating and defending.  That is not civilization.  That is not perfection of life.  Foolish persons who are animalistic, like dogs and cats, do not know the aim of life.

na te viduh svartha-gathim hi visnum/durasaya ye bahir-artha-maninah/andha yathandhair upaniyamanas/te pisa tantryam uru-damni baddhah

‘Persons who are strongly entrapped by the consciousness of enjoying material life, and who have therefore accepted as their leader or guru a similar blind man attached to the external sense objects, cannot understand that the goal of life is to return home, back to Godhead, and engage in the service of Lord Visnu.  As blind men guided by another blind man miss the right path and fall into a ditch, materially attached men led by another materially attached man are bound by the ropes of fruitive labor, which are made of very strong cords, and they continue again and again in materialistic life, suffering the threefold miseries’ [SB 7.5.31]

The aim of life is to understand Visnu, the Supreme Lord.  People are trying to become happy in the bahir-artha, in the external energy of God, the material energy.  And the so-called leaders, politicians, philosophers, and scientists are all blind.  They do not know the aim of life.  Still, they are leading the whole society.

Uru-damni baddhah.  Uru means very strong, and damni means rope.  If I tie you with a very strong rope, it is very difficult to untie it, and you are put into difficulty.  Similarly, we in this material world are tied very tightly by the laws of material nature.  And still we declare, ‘I am free.  I am independent.  I can do whatever I like’.  That is called imperfection.  As long as we are in the bodily concept of life and think ourselves free to do whatever we like, we are in ignorance, darkness, tama.  Tama means darkness.

A Vedic injuction is tamasi ma jyotir gama: ‘Don’t remain in darkness; go to the light.’  Darkness means thinking, ‘I am this body, and fulfilling the necessities of the body is the highest perfection of my life.’  Everyone is trying to have a skyscraper and three Rolls Royces, and so on.  They think this is the perfection of life.   They do not think to ask, ‘How many years shall I have this skyscraper?  And what is my main business? My main business is how to become perfect.’

There are many animals within the skyscraper.  There are human beings, dogs, cats, worms, rats – so many things.  So the right to live in a skyscraper is there even for worms, cats, and rats.  Then what is the difference between these animals and me?  The difference is that I can become perfect.  I can ask, ‘What am I?  Am I this body?’  This should be the question.

Krsna says here, ‘The ultimate goal is to understand me.’  Vetti mam tattvatah - to understand Krsna in fact, in truth, not superficially.  That is required.  Vedais ca sarvair aham eva vedyah [Bg. 15.15].  If you are a great scholar studying all kinds of Vedic literature, then you must know Krsna.  If you do not understand Krsna and simply study the Vedas, it is a useless waste of time.

dharmah svanusthitah pumsam/visvakena-kathasu yah/notpadayed yadi ratim/srama eva hi kevalam

‘The occupational activities a man performs according to his own position are only so much useless labor if they do not provoke attraction for the message of the Personality of Godhead’ [SB 1.2.8]

You are executing your occupational duties very nicely, honestly.  That is all right.  But if after executing your duties very honestly and nicely you do not awaken your dormant Krsna consciousness, then srama eva hi kevalam: You are simply wasting your time.  Useless.  When you understand Krsna, that is the highest perfection.  But nobody is interested.  Therefore Krsna says in today’s verse, manusyanam sahasresu…: ‘Out of many millions of persons’, one may be interested.  Otherwise, all are in darkness.

What is siddhi, as mentioned here?  Siddhi means to understand my constitutional position, what I am.  I am trying to lord it over material nature in so many ways.  Is that my position?  But I am a failure.  I am trying to lord it over material nature as a big man – as a minister or a zamindar or a big business magnate.  And when I am a failure, then I want to become God.  That is another ambition.

This is not self-realization.  Self-realization means to understand, ‘I am trying to lord it over material nature in so many ways, but my attempt is becoming baffled.  Why?  With great endeavor I become a head of state, and I do not wish to die, but death comes and takes away everything – my political position, my wealth, my family, everything.’  Mrtyuh sarva-haras caham [Bg 10.34].  Who is taking?  That is Krsna.

When you realize, ‘I am trying to accumulate so many things but Krsna is taking everything away,’ then why don’t you surrender to Krsna so that He may not take away your position?  That is siddhi.  ‘I am not independent.  I am trying to be independent, but it is not possible.  I am dependent.  I am an eternal servant of Krsna.’

That is self-realization.  That has been taught by Caitanya Mahaprabhu.  Jivera ‘svarupa  haya – krsnera ‘nitya-dasa: ‘It is the living entity’s constitutional position to be an eternal servant of Krsna.’ [Caitanya-caritamrta, Madhya-lila 20.108-109].  Brahman realization - aham brahmasmi - is liberation from the material conception of life.  ’I am not matter.  I am not the body, but I am spirit soul.’  Aham brahmasmi.  That is the first step of self-realization.  But that is not final.  The final realization is ‘I am an eternal servant of Krsna.’  As long as you do not come to that position – the final, consitutional position that ‘I am an eternal servant of Krsna’ – then knowledge is lacking; there is no perfection of knowledge.

Therefore, Krsna says in Bhagavad-git [7.19], bahunam janmanam ante…vasudevah sarvam iti: ‘After many, many births, when one is actually self-realize – in awareness, fully in knowledge – then he understands that Vasudeva [Krsna] is everything.’  ’Vasudeva is the supreme everything.  I am simply part and parcel of Vasudeva, an eternal servant of Vasudeva.’  Sa mahatma sudurlabhah.  One who thinks in that way, that kind of perfect person – a mahatma - is very, very rare.  A mahatma understands, ‘I am an eternal servant of Krsna.  My only business is to serve Krsna.  That is my constitutional position.  I am part and parcel of Krsna.’

This finger is part and parcel of my body.  Its business is to serve the whole body.  I ask the finger, ‘Come here,’ and immediately it comes.  That is the normal, healthy condition of the part and parcel.  My leg is part and parcel of my body.  As soon as I ask the leg, ‘Please take me there,’ it does so.  That is normal.  And if the leg cannot take me there – if I have to take help from a stick – that is not normal.  It is a diseased condition has to be treated.  Similarly, as soon as we find that we do not abide by the orders of Krsna, we must know that we are in ignorance and in an abnormal condition, madness.

To serve Krsna is my duty.  Krsna does not require my help, and still he asks me to surrender to his order.  That is for my good.  If I surrender to Krsna, then that is my benefit.  Krsna does not require my service.  He is omnipotent.  But we are such rascals that we think, ‘Why shall I surrender to Krsna?’  That is perfection.

When you come to the point that you abide by the order of Krsna and surrender to Him, that is perfection.  But people do not do that. 

na mam duskrtino mudhah/prapadyante naradhamah/mayayapahrta-jnana/asuram bhavam asritah

‘Those miscreants who are grossly foolish, who are lowest among mankind, whose knowledge is stolen by illusion, and who partake of the atheistic nature of demons do not surrender unto me’ [Bg. 7.15]  

Why do they not surrender?  Because they are duskritinah, always performing sinful activities, and they are mudhah, rascals.  They do not known their own interest.  And naradhama means the lowest of mankind.  Krsna says, ‘This human body was given to him by material nature to understand me, to surrender to me, but he will not do this.  Therefore: lowest of mankind.’

Someone may object, ‘No, he is so educated.’  No, this is nonsense.  If he does not understand Krsna, what is the meaning of education?  There is no education.  Mayayapahrta-jnanah: his knowledge is stolen by illusion.  Why?  Asuram bhavam asritah: he’s defying Krsna, defying God.  

‘What is God?  I am God.’  This is the position of everyone in the material world, and especially in this age, Kali-yuga.  In Kali-yuga, people are all first-class fools.  That is described in the Bhagavatam [1.1.1o]:

prayenalpayusah sabhya/kalav asmin yuge janah/mandah sumanda-matayo/manda-bhagya upadrutah

‘O learned one, in this iron age of Kali men have but short lives.  They are quarrelsome, lazy, misguided, unlucky, and above all, always disturbed’

Kali-yuga is a very difficult age.  In ignorance people fight, quarrel.  Kali means ‘fight’.  Therefore it is called Kali-yuga.  In this age especially, the inhabitants are manda.  Manda means all bad.  Nobody is good.  And sumanda-matayah: Everyone has his own conception of perfection – all bogus.  Why this is?  Manda-bhagyah: because they are unfortunate.  No one knows what he shall eat the next morning or in the evening.  Everyone is in need.  There is scarcity all over the world.

And people are disturbed.  With the progression of Kali-yuga, people will be disturbed by two things especially: taxation and scarcity of food.  That is stated in Bhagavatam [12.2.9]: durbhiksa-kara-piditah.  Kara means taxation.  People will be embarrassed for want of food, and at the same time, every year there will be an increase of taxation.  They will be so disturbed that they will give up their money, wife, children – everything.  They will be disgusted: ‘Now it is impossible to maintain.  Let me go away.’

This is our position in Kali-yuga.  So five thousand years ago, when Krsna spoke Bhagavad-gita, at that time the position was manusyanam sahasresu - ‘one among thousands will try for perfection.  Now, on account of Kali-yuga, it is ‘one among millions.’  The percentage has increased to one in millions and millions.  

Therefore nobody is interested in this Krsna consciousness movement.  We are trying to give the highest perfection of life, but people are not interested.  They want to remain like cats and dogs and suffer the consequences.  That is going on.

This Krsna consciousness movement is very difficult to understand, but by the grace of Krsna it has been made very easy.  That is stated in the Srimad Bhagavatam [12.2.51]: kaler dosa-nidher rajann asi hy eko mahan gunah.  Sukadeva Goswami described the faults of Kali-yuga to Parikisit Maharaja, but he encouraged him with one verse.  ’My dear king, Kali-yuga is an ocean of faults, but there is one very nice gain.’  What is that?  Kirtanad eva krsnasya mukta-sangah param vrajet: ‘Simply by chanting the Hare Krsna mantra one can become free from all the troubles of Kali-yuga, become liberated, and go back home, back to Godhead.’  So take Krsna consciousness very seriously and make your life perfect’

Thank you very much.’ [Back To Godhead Magazine, March/April 2006]

Sometimes I beautified my room with a vase of cornflowers or purple irises.  There were prints on my wall.  Pink harlequins in the Spanish desert.  A woman bent over an ironing board in a navy blue dress.  An old man with a guitar against a pale blue see.

I was trying to develop an understanding of a historical period on the one hand; and, on the other, I was coming to terms with the present and that had a lot to do with the lifestyle I was leading.  The magnitude of what I was trying to achieve seemed endless.  It was frustrating trying to blend the minutiae of research with the philosophical vision I was developing.  How could the two be combined?  Was I being practical.  The fact that I did not have the support of my immediate family was soul-destroying.

I sent all my worldly belongings up to Johannesburg in a blue steel trunk.  The same trunk I had used to transport my things down to Cape Town when I had embarked on my studies.  I returned to Cape Town at the beginning of 1997 with a bundle of clothing and some computer disks.  Seven painstaking years at UCT were drawing to a close.  I was at a watershed in my life.  What would I do now?  I needed a change.  I felt like I was just wasting away, ‘I am twenty-three years old, but I am waking up tired.  My peers are at the peak of their physical and mental powers.  And I am just wasting away!’  I began to exercise, read holy scriptures and work more consistently on my MA thesis.

I would scuttle out of the bakkie, off De Waal drive, and walk along the footpath that flanked Newlands Forest.  I sometimes walked past the abandoned zoo, overrun with creepers and grass, where Cecil John Rhodes kept his lions.  I sometimes rested on the gardens outside the Arts Faculty, until the sprinklers were released and woke me up.  Devil’s Peak loomed majestically in the blue sky.  UCT was a mix of modern and classical architecture.  The train ride to Fishoek flanked False Bay from Muizemburg.  I liked to look over the sea – now turquoise, now silver-grey and deep blue – and let my mind settle on some thought or other.  Andrew’s house was a ten minute walk from the train station.  It was dark by the time I got home.

‘You are a real non-coper, Michael.  Don’t you know, there’s no room for the weak’, my mother’s harsh words rang over in my head.  Why did I have to participate in your madness?  Why did we have to have highways and shopping-malls and cars, cars, cars.  All I wanted was to be happy.  To live a life of peace.  The parables of Jesus Christ inspired me.  Jesus said: ‘The Kingdom of Heaven is like this.  A man is walking in a field and he finds a treasure.  What does he do?  He goes and sells everything he owns, and buys that field’.  What was that treasure?  The Kingdom of God.  By giving up our material attachments, we can purchase our heart’s true treasure – the Spiritual Kingdom.

I began to identify with the young prince, Siddhartha.  His father, detecting his leanings towards spiritual life, sheltered him from the sufferings of this world.  He lived in the penthouse of the palace in a room with a ceiling like the sky and many beautiful young women.  He asked the driver of his chariot to stop when he saw a man squirming at the side of the road.  His driver said, ‘This is a man with a terrible disease’.  On another occasion he saw a very elderly person and his driver said, ‘This is someone who is afflicted with old age’.  On a third occasion they saw a dead corpse in the road.  ’What is this?’, asked the young prince.  ’That is death’, responded his driver.  One night he passed the sleeping beauties of his harem and climbed over the walls of his father’s palace and left for a life of introspection in the forest.  Seeing the rotting leaves on the ground, he determined that there must be more to life than sensual pleasures.

My personal victories seemed limited to the restricted goals and expectations of both family and teachers.  Life was bigger than my little world.  There was a deep need within myself for personal improvement, but I didn’t know where to begin.  By slowly giving up bad habits like drinking and smoking and eating meat, I realized that there was more to life than studying and hanging out in pool-bars.  I remember seeing a film about an alcoholic footballer who pulled his life together  with my father when I was eight years old.

I liked to read philosophy when I woke up in the morning.  Afterwards, I’d read from the Bible or from Buddhist writings.  I would bath, take a light breakfast and get ready to go to Campus.  I lived like a monk: no TV, no music or social life.  My only recreation was exercise.  I found that I only really needed potatoes, pasta and rice for energy.  I was slowly phasing meat out of my diet.  I took cold showers and practised celibacy.  I developed an ethic of exercise, morality and self-improvement.  Around this time, I remember driving back from a party from Teena and Andrew’s house.  I slapped my hands against the steering wheel of my red Volkswagen Beetle and said, ‘Enough! This must stop!’  From that moment, I quit drinking completely.