Well, despite the shitty circumstances I’m in, I’m excited to say that I’ll be turning 25 this month…YAY! And already the month is starting off fantastically on account of Jason Collins being the first openly gay athlete still active in the NBA. I commend you, Jason, for being an outstanding influence and role model. I seen in an interview that he did that he wanted to end the stereotypes of what “gay” is, which I think he was referring to the most common stereotypes of gay men as feminine and flamboyant, not that there is anything wrong with anyone’s personal individuality. But he is a perfect example of a masculine man who also identifies as an openly gay man. And not to mention he is so very sexy… (wink wink) LOL. But nonetheless, the LGBTQGNC community thanks Jason Collins for being a leader and help to end the stereotypes and marginalizations that are attached and associated with the LGBTQ-GNC community. Our support is here for you! And the revolution continues…

Now as I mentioned I’ll be turning 25 this month, and for me being in prison for saving my own life is worth celebrating another year, even if it’s in a fucked up environment. I feel blessed–no I am blessed to say that I’ve lived for a quarter of a century. That through my trials and tribulations, through my life’s quarrels, that when I never thought I’d make it past the age of sixteen, I triumphed over all obstacles and that in itself is a victory. So for me, this is a major milestone, especially considering the violence against trans women and the injustices of a faulty “judicial system” and a society that’s been hijacked and distorted by radical-religious ideas. I can say that through all the adversity I faced over the course of time I lived so far, I’ve evolved and accomplished more than I would have ever imagined. And I can only go up from here! And it’s also a blessing to have such wonderful, loving, caring people in my life. I want to take this time to thank those people who have grown to know me and love me as I do for them. I love you all so much, there aren’t even words to express my love and gratitude for you all. Also to all the supporters around the world I LOVE YOU ALL!

I also want to give a major shout-out to my mom, and all moms around the globe in honor of Mother’s Day. I love you so much mommy, and I love both my grannies and all my beautiful aunts. These women are great examples of strong, fierce females and I’m so appreciative of them for being understanding and caring. And for my mom who is supportive and helping me through this tough time, you’ve been a great mom and I love you. Thank you for being a top notch mom.

Before I go I want to leave you with the quote of the month and a poem that was on a card that someone sent me:

“To love is to risk not being loved in return: To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” (Author unknown)

This next piece is a poem titled “Her Journey’s Just Begun” by E. Breneman. I fell in love with it after reading it because it related to me so well.

Her Journey’s Just Begun

Don’t think of her as gone away–

her journey’s just begun,

life holds so many facets–

this earth is only one.

Just think of her as resting

from the sorrows and the tears

in a place of warmth and comfort

where there are no days and years.

Think of how she must be wishing

that we could know today

how nothing but our sadness

can really pass away.

And think of her as living

in the hearts of those she touched…

for nothing loved is ever lost–

and she was loved so much.

Thank you Tracy in El Cerrito, CA for that beautiful card and that significant poem. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you all for hte love and support. T.T.Y.L.!

–

A major problem in the entire world is violence against all women, which also includes trans women. Throughout time, women have been subjected to the cruel “iron fist” of the male species’ ever-inflicting egos. The violence that has been upheld for centuries have affected us all, whether it be a tyrannical leader’s harsh rule over a nation or domestic rule inside the household. Women have a higher rate of experiencing violence in all its forms–physical, verbal, and/or sexual. In most cases we are the victims of murder, and in the act of defending ourselves we are subjected to time, even life in prison. How can society say that it detest and challenge violence against women, when there is very little, if any, real help for us, and the help we give ourselves result in punishment?

Street violence and trans women go hand in hand, and I’m sure that if asked any trans woman can agree that most of her conflicts occurred outside of her dwelling. For me, all of the incidents that I’ve experienced were outside of the home. I, and most trans women, have to deal with violence more often and at a higher rate than any cissexual person, so every day is a harder struggle, and the everyday things that a cissexual person can do with ease are a constant risk, even something as simple as taking public transportation. Street violence has affected me drastically, and I think–no, I know–that if I never learned to assert myself that I would’ve never gained the courage to defend myself against those who have no respect or gratitude towards others in the world, I would have met my demise years ago.

Currently, I am in a men’s state prison for the death of someone I accidentally stabbed in the act of defending myself. It all started around 12 am on June 4th, 2011 whne a group of racist drunks began to verbally bash my friends and I on our way to a local 24-hour grocery store. After being called everything from faggots to niggers, tempers escalated and I was caught in between the madness. A woman from the other group decided to throw her alcoholic cocktail in my face, and to add insult to injury, she smashed her glass cup in my face which lacerated my cheek and was deep enough to cut a saliva gland which caused painful complications later on after getting 12 stitches. When the police arrived it wasn’t hard to for them to assume who the aggressors were–surely, for them, it had to have been the group of black kids who started all this drama. At least that was the feeling I was receiving by the way they were treating me and my friends. And instead of taking me directly to the ambulance, they made me sit in the back of a squad car in handcuffs while bleeding badly and in very bad pain.

When I was finally transported to the ambulance, I was immediately bombarded with questions, even before I could get the medical attention I needed. And when I got to the hospital it didn’t go any better. I was told to take off all my clothes, after that I was shackled to a hospital bed, and poorly examined hence the large deformity that was on my left cheek from a saliva gland being cut. From there I say in an interrogation room for over 5+ hours. And it all went downhill from there. I can say that I’m so blessed to have such wonderful, caring, loving friends, family, and supporters that helped me through this injustice.

But it does go to show that there is nothing really in place for women to protect themselves–ourselves. We need to unite to make a voice for all those who have become a victim of violence. I want to shout-out all the organizations and programs that are doing just that. To all those who showed up to the 1 Billion Rising event in Pittsburgh on Valentines Day I LOVE YOU ALL! I also want to shout out all the victims of violence that were honored at the event: Patreese Johnson, Charmaine Pfender, Marissa Alexander, and Tanika Dickson. I LOVE YOU ALL!  We are all victims of violence and the injustices and oppression of a faulty legal system and the PIC. And in memoriam of all our fallen sisters, this is for you! Our flames of resilience and tenacity burn bright in the efforts of a revolution for women. We will not give up until there are the necessary changes in this world for better protection and equality. And it is up to us to show that we are concerned and that none of our struggles will go in vain.

I cannot reiterate enough to people how they should get involved. GET INVOLVED! Organizations like 1 Billion Rising need our help, or get involved in local organizations and program. I pray that no other woman should have to deal with violence on any level, and I know that we can make a change.

Thank you all for taking time to hear (or should I say read) my concerns for our women in the world. I LOVE YOU ALL! Please stay strong, live well, and fight hard!

xoxo

CeCe

1. Fight against the proposed Chicago Public School closures.

2. Learn about and advocate for restorative and transformative justice.

3. Join the Mental Health Movement which is fighting to save our existing mental health clinics from closure in Chicago.

4. Interrupt the School-to-Prison Pipeline. Support the Yes to Counselors, No to More Cops in Schools Campaign.

5. Interrupt the School-to-Prison Pipeline. Teach youth how to catalogue police harassment and overdiscipline at school.

6. Support the young people from Fearless Leading by the Youth (FLY) as they organize to bring a needed trauma center to the Southside that will serve EVERYONE.

7. Close Dwight Prison Now – Tell your legislators.

8. Learn about the history of policing, violence, and resistance.

9. Support the efforts of several community organizations to close the Cook County Juvenile Temporary Detention Center (JTDC) and re-direct the funds to community-based alternatives to detention and to programming that will support youth.

10. Support youth-led efforts like the Street Youth Rise Up Campaign (organized by the Young Women’s Empowerment Project) which are documenting and organizing against institutional violence.

11. Join the Chicago Anti-Eviction Campaign.

12. Invite youth members of the Know Your Rights Project to speak with their peers and adults about their rights in the criminal legal system (especially with law enforcement).

13. Join parents across Chicago who are organizing for quality education and against the school-to-prison pipeline through POWER-PAC and Community Organizing & Family Issues.

14. Get educated about the PIC.

15. Host your own teach-in about the prison industrial complex.

16. Support organizations that are fighting against immigrant detention and deportations.

17. Support and join the campaign to Raise the Minimum Wage in Illinois (and everywhere else).

18. If you care about programs that affect the lives of children, become an advocate with Illinois Action For Children.

19. Support and join the Chicago Grassroots Curriculum Taskforce to create and disseminate RELEVANT curricula for young people.

20. Reach out to those currently locked up behind bars.

21. Stop relying on and calling the police to solve any and all community problems.

22. Join the Illinois Campaign to End the New Jim Crow as they organize against police violence.

23. Start a Creative Resistance Project like the Chicago Torture Justice Memorials.

24. Refuse to serve on juries for drug cases or consider nullification if you do serve on drug cases as a juror.

25. Open your wallets and contribute needed funds to local organizations.

26. Pay attention to the laws that are being proposed at the city, state, and federal level. Ask yourself if the proposed law is going to “extend or curtail the reach of the PIC.” If the answer is extend it, then mobilize to oppose these laws.

Another thing I really enjoyed [from the newsletter] was a piece about gender. It said:

Gender IS:

-A spectrum

-A range of expression

-How you relate to yourself

-A personal identity

Gender is NOT:

-Just male or female

-Defined by body parts

-Sexual orientation

-Defined by chromosomes

I really liked it, so I wanted to share that.

Anyways…it’s spring! Unfortunately, it’s off to a bad start here in Minnesota. We’ve been getting snow like crazy, in some parts over a foot of snow. Poor Mother Nature… seems like she’s not in a good mood. Not that it’s her fault. When are people going to realize that global warming is an actual thing, and that if we don’t change the way we care for our planet, it won’t care for us.

I just think about all the energy that is wasted by prisons alone. At any jail or prison I’ve been to I’ve noticed that they leave lights on 24/7! Now think about all the other jails, prisons, juvenile centers, etc., etc. around the world that does exactly the same thing. Now think about how much energy could be saved without them, hmmm… see where I’m coming from? We could save a lot of resources, actually, with abolishing prisons. I can give you a million other things that the resources put into the PIC can be redirected to, that can both build the economy and prevent people from being victims of the PIC.

So other than the DOC and the PIC getting on my nerves, people in general have been really annoying. I’ve never seen people say such dumb shit in my life. A goldfish with a two-second memory is smarter than some of the people of this world, and I say that with all sincerity.

First off, let me start with a comment Mr. Snoop Lion said about gays and the rap industry. He said that gays would never be accepted in the rap industry because rap is such a “masculine arena.” How remedial of a comment was that? Like, WTF Mr. Lion! I like your music, but it’s only dumb-founded, ignorant b.s. like that that will withold the progression of equality in the world, and frankly it was just a dumb-ass statement..

For one, it just goes to show that people still have a stereotypical idea of what “gay” is and that there is no possibility of masculine, or even hyper-masculine, gay and bisexual men in the world. Well, guess what?… THEY EXIST! For two, to say that “rap is a masculine arena” is a underhanded insult to both masculine gay and bisexual men and also to feminine men, trans, GNC (gender non-conforming) and cissexual women who are rappers. It’s clear that women are just as much of a force in the rap industry just as any man is, so why is it so unfathomable that someone that is QLGBT-GNC can’t be such a force in an “arena” that really have no gender “boundaries” or “guidelines”? How can one just say that a person can’t do something because of their sexual identity and/or orientation. That’s like saying we can’t have a black president. Well, you see how that turned out. Twice!

I hate that as time progresses and we evolve, the ignorance and idiocracy of close-minded people keep us, or at least try to, in an unevolutaionary state. At some point others have to accept that diversity exists. And not only does diversity exist, it is what makes us thrive. It is what makes us all uniquely individual. So diversity should be allowed in all aspects of a society. In schools, in the work force, hell, even at home!

As you know, I said that for every month this year I was going to give a quote. But as I mentioned earlier, I was caught in a lot of drama, therefore I didn’t have the opportunity to do so. So I’m still going to give March’s quote along with April’s. Here they are:

March

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

April

“love is the voice under all silences,

the hope which has no opposite in fear,

the strength so strong mere force is feebleness:

the truth more first than sun, more last than star”

-e.e. cummings

As was previously announced, CeCe was transferred  to MCF-Stillwater, at her own request, at the beginning of March.  She was enrolled in the Atlantis treatment program there, which operates in a separate unit from the general population.  She was glad to be at Stillwater for a number of reasons, but was quickly frustrated with the program because of issues ranging from blatant transphobia in the program to the snitching culture that is fostered within it.  We are unclear on the specifics, but she was kicked out and placed in segregation within a few weeks of being there, and received an additional 30 days onto her sentence as a disciplinary measure.  After repeated pleas from her and her advocates to remain at Stillwater and be placed in the general population there, she was instead transferred back to St. Cloud recently.  She remains in segregation.

We are still unsure where she will be placed for the remainder of her sentence, but in the meantime we are calling on folks far and wide to write to her immediately!  Send her your love and let her know she is not alone, that we are all watching out for her, and that we got her back!

Chrishaun McDonald
OID#238072
Minnesota Correctional Facility-St. Cloud
2305 Minnesota Boulevard S.E.
St. Cloud, MN  56304

Keep an eye on this website, or sign up for our mailing list, for the latest information.

With many thanks and lots of love,

CeCe McDonald Support Committee

Lucky for her supporters in the Twin Cities, Stillwater is much closer than St. Cloud. Unfortunately, visiting days are a little more limited, and CeCe is only allowed to have 16 hours of visits each month. If you plan to start visiting CeCe, let us know at mpls4cece(a)gmail.com so that we can make sure that everyone who wants to gets a chance to fit in visits each month.

So now it’s our time to shine people! We can get involved! We need to show sage, Sage’s family, friends, and our family in Charlottesville that we got their back@ Please I urge everyone to please, please, PLEASE get involved! Call the Charlottesville Police Department and tell them to get busy finding Sage! Nothing will be done unless we make them! Just think, this could’ve been your brother, sister, friend, cousin, or it even could’ve been you, and I know and you know that if it were us in their shoes we would want all that could be done in our efforts to be done, right?!? Please people again, I urge you to get involved. We can’t let another of our own slip away! Let’s get justice!

Go to https://www.facebook.com/FindSageSmith

GET INVOLVED!

You can get in touch with APOC at:

302 8^th St. Nw

Charlottesville, VA 22903

Additional information and updates will be posted!

I want to thank everyone for their support and their fundraising to make sure that I maintain and otherwise. But now I want you to divert your efforts to our sister, Estrellita, who needs our help. Please help her and show her the same love and support that you all gave me. All the information is posted, so let’s save our girl and get this done for her!

Love, CeCe

***

Queer political prisoner in detention needs your help!

This holiday season, give the gift of helping an inspiring young political prisoner be freed from the confines of the immigration detention center in Florence, AZ where she is currently held. Her name is Estrellita and she is seeking help paying her bond, which she expects to be around $3500. Here is what she writes:

“Hola, mi nombre es Estrellita y estoy detenida en Florence, AZ. Yo necesito de su ayuda. Mi familia me odia por ser homosexual, y no tengo el apoyo de nadie, solamente de Casa Mariposa y Raul. Mi situacion es la siguiente: Ya pedi asilo politico y ya fui a la entrevista y pase. Lo unico que me falta es de la fianza y las cartas de apoyo. Les boy a agradecer toda mi vida si me ayudar con la fianza. Yo se que afuera hay angeles y se los boy a agradecer mucho. Mi corte la tengo para el 31 de energo para lo de la fianza. Ayudenme please please!”

“Hello, my name is Estrellita and I am detained in Florence, AZ. I need your help. My family hates me for being homosexual, and I do not have the help of anyone, only Casa Mariposa and Raul. My situation is the following: I asked for political asylum and went to my [credible fear] interview and passed. The one things left are the bond and letters of support. I will be grateful for all of my life if you help me with the bond. I know that outside there are angels and I will appreciate them very much. My court for bond is January 31. Help me please please!”

The Rainbow Defense Fund will be collecting funds for Estrellita, with the goal of raising $3500 by January 31st so she can be released as soon as a bond is set. Please donate online through Paypal or send a check made out to “Restoration Project, Florence” to: Attn: Rainbow Defense Fund; Casa Mariposa; 127 N. Palomas Ave; Tucson, AZ 85745.

Thank you so much!

Day 1

Help train a service pet by donating $5 to canineassistants.org. This small gift covers the cost of feeding a puppy for a week. These puppies are being trained to aid people with disabilities.

Day 2

Nearly 50 million Americans are facing hunger, so by giving $21 to feedingamerica.org  you can help provide food for a family for two weeks.

Day 3

By donating your old phone to cellphonesforsoldiers.com, they can recycle them and use the proceeds to buy calling cards for our troops abroad. If you think about it, you’re helping the environment and helping a soldier make a call to someone they love!

Day 4

A $50 donation to uniteforsight.org gives surgery to one of 94 million people who are blinded or visually impaired by cataracts.

Day 5

Help rehabilitate women who’ve been trafficked by going to senhoa.org , who hires survivors to make jewelry, and help them safely transition back into society.

Day 6

Go to bethematch.org to see if you’re eligible to donate bone marrow, which can save the life of someone battling blood cancer or any other blood or bone illness.

Day 7

By going to cityyear.org and signing up you can tutor and assist in an at-risk classroom for 10 months. Each year, a million teens drop out of school, but the time you invest can take away one less person from that, and help a teen graduate!

Day 8

More than 800 babies are born with HIV daily in Africa, but by donating $50 to m2m.org, they can teach an expecting mom how to avoid tranmission.

Day 9

Donate your wedding gown or veil to bridesagainstbreastcancer.org, and they’ll sell it at a bridal show and help pay for support groups for patients.

Day 10

At projectnightnight.org, a $20 donation provides a blanket, book, and stuffed toy to one of the 334,819 kids in shelters nationwide.

Day 11

Beautify a city park by giving $15 to tpl.org which goes toward playground equipment in a new or renovated green space for boys and girls across the U.S.

Day 12

$50 to nursefamilypartnership.org coaches five first-time moms about healthy pregnancies and smart parenting.

Day 13

Save a life in South Sudan and donate $5 to doc2dock.org which helps them ship unused supplies from hospitals here in the U.S. to remote clinics, where shortages threaten lives.

Day 14

Giving $25 to youngwomenforchange.org donates a desk to the first-ever female-only web cafe in Kabul.

Day 15

$10 to petfinderfoundation.com vaccinates four shelter dogs or five cats, keeping them ready for adoption.

Day 16

Invest in health by giving $50 to actionforhealthykids.org, which buys PE tools for a class in a struggling district. 17% of America’s youth is obese and this can help our youth to be healthy and live longer, healthier lives.

Day 17

Go to stjude.org and donate to help children with deadly illnesses like leukemia and cancer. These kids can use all the help we can give them, so no donation is too small or too big.

Day 18

In honor of Yeardley Love, who was killed by an ex-boyfriend, and all the other countless acts of domestic violence, you can go to joinonelove.org and educate yourself and others to prevent abuse.

Day 19

$25 to givekidstheworld.org helps affected families take a vacation to its Florida resort. You can pay for a terminally ill child’s getaway!

Day 20

Volunteer from your desk and go to sparked.com. The site asks about your skills and passions, then gives ideas for using your talents to better the world.

Day 21

Help fight lung cancer and donate to lcfamerica.org. Proceeds fund research to predict, detect, and treat the top cancer killer among Americans.

Day 22

Take care of amputees and donate $300 to brac.net which provides a prosthetic arms or leg to a Haitian who lost a limb due to the 2010 earthquake.

Day 23

Order a new book from worldbooks.com for your or/and a friend, and they’ll send one to a needy child in the U.S. or abroad.

Day 24

Spend a day at one of Women Build’s 27 sites and help put a low-income family into a home.

Day 25

For $25 to deaeducationalfoundation.org , one girl can attend afterschool dance classes for 10 weeks, which means you’re helping keep an at-risk youth drug-free and off the streets.

Day 26

Help TYSN help our at-risk trans youth by providing safe space, training, education etc. by donating at transyouthsupportnetwork.org  and help the organization I love with all my heart. Any donation works!

Day 27

Spent $120 on a feed tote full of gourmet snacks (deandeluca.com) and, 15 meals go to kids in Africa, Asia, or the Middle East.

Day 28

Soothe a scared kid and send stuffed animals to projectsmile.org; police officers and paramedics will hand them out to trauma victims.

Day 29

For $150, landesa.org secures a plot for a woman in India to live and grow food with her family.

Day 30

teamrubiconusa.org uses your $11 donation to keep a veteran ready to deploy to crisis areas, like New Jersey after Hurricane Sandy.

Day 31

Every dollar to happyheartsfund.org helps rebuild schools after devastation around the globe.

Now! With your heart filled with giving you can start the New Year with a new outlook on life, and feeling good about being a humanitarian. Also, if there is any organization that was not mentioned that you would like to donate to, then donate. What matters is that you’re making a difference for someone out in the world. i love you all, and have a wonderful and Happy Holidays!

Sincerest love,

Honee Bea

]]> http://supportcece.wordpress.com/2012/12/04/31-days-of-giving/feed/ 0 unicornsresist http://supportcece.wordpress.com/2012/11/16/on-trans-day-of-remembrance-a-proposal/ http://supportcece.wordpress.com/2012/11/16/on-trans-day-of-remembrance-a-proposal/#comments Fri, 16 Nov 2012 02:54:38 +0000 Support CeCe! http://supportcece.wordpress.com/?p=1706 ]]> In light of Trans Day of Remembrance, this letter is more of a proposal to the LGBTQI community, specifically to my wonderful sisters of the “transnation.” My objective of this letter is to share ideas and ignite a spark in the women (and I use the term woman broadly to express all women and not having to put “trans” in front of the term. We are all WOMEN, be it that that’s what you identify as, and I don’t speak for all women but those who identify as such) to change our perspective of our communities (be it our neighborhoods, abroad, and the LGBTQI communities) and ourselves.

I want all my beautiful people to take the time to process this proposal, and take an initiative to better our communities and ourselves. To put forth an effort to have our voices heard and to let the world know we exist and the issues that affect us aren’t being acknowledged, nor solved.

This all came about from a letter that I received, followed by some paperwork for review for the Trans Youth Support Network‘s (TYSN) Leadership Development Program, and a Tarot reading I gave myself. But it all made sense when I was trying to sleep, which is usually when I have these epiphanies, and the word “collaborative” steadily flashed in my head and it continued until it was clear to me, as in it I opened my mind’s eye. I sat up and pieced it all together and there bloomed the inspiration to put this together. I want to share these series of events that led to the light-bulb going off over my head, and my proposal to people all over who want to make changes and have OUR voices heard.

It all started with a very artistic letter (which I’m sure took a while to write) from Alexander K. out in Philadelphia. I’m going to share this with you all, then I will incorporate my feelings of what I read in my conclusion of this proposal:

Dear CeCe,

I am writing to you from the City of Brotherly Love—Philadelphia.

Last Saturday, I marched alongside 300 of my brothers and sisters, neighbors, family, and friends at the second Philadelphia Trans March.

It was amazing to see such a display of strength and solidarity from our community and allies in the wake of tragedy. Last month, we lost a young (trans)woman of color to violence. Her name was Kyra Kruz, and she is remembered as a bright and truly beautiful person—already such a vital force of good in Philly, and taken [my emphasis] from us too soon, as it happens too often.

My time with Kyra was brief, yet her impact was priceless. As a teenager the first time I really came out as trans, as much to myself as other people, was at a group for trans and gender questioning youth Kyra revived and breathed new life into as a leader.

 The trans community in Philly, like the whole, is large and diverse, and I’d be lying if I said we’re one big happy family. But we are a family. Even though, at times, we might treat each other poorly, our time together brief, even if we’ve never met. Sometimes we forget about it. But it can be such a source of profound joy, and the only was to get through the worst things in life. I was remembered of this during a vigil held for Kyra at our LGBTQI community center, where the service had been delayed to allow the entirety of staff and young people from the youth center. In particular I was incredibly moved by the presence of the Center’s trans and questioning youth, and words from Kyra’s co-visionary and co-mentor. He spoke about his decision to bring them to show them the importance of standing together in pain as well as celebration, instilling hope and an earnest call for love and support.

I consider you a part of our family.

A sister.

My sister.

I have heard your story from close friends and strangers, and although in many ways distant, it is a blessing beyond words that you are still with us.

Solidarity,

Alexander

Now, prior to this I’ve had many conversations with my lovely friend and colleague Katie Burgess (Executive Director of TYSN) about my future beyond the “concrete chaos,” which includes my position at TYSN and how my position of leadership can bring a change to TYSN and how the “world” views (trans)women, for the better. And after reading the letter from Alexander, having this feeling of anger and sadness from the death of Kyra, it felt that I wanted to take on this challenge of being a leader now more than ever. It was fate that at the moment of having these feelings, I received a review packet of TYSN’s Leadership Program with all these wonderful ideas and solid policies. And of course, me being the optimistic and sometime overly-anxious person that I am, I was so charged to get to business.

And like any person with optimism, sometimes it can be scary and overwhelming, especially when it’s a job or craft that one enjoy and cherish, like this is for me. And I don’t know how to handle it, all these ideas and feelings and wanting to go all in. So I felt a little lost and had all these questions that felt unanswered. For me, I go to my faith which is anything spiritual. From prayer to yoga, I do it all. For this, I was drawn to my Tarot cards (thanks Kat!) and it seemed like they read into my soul and hit dead on. I asked the deck: “How does leadership and my future come together and how do I handle it, and is this where I should be (referring to being a leader)?” After I asked, I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I pulled four cards and laid them out. I opened my eyes and there was the Two of Bones (ed.: this card speaks to the magical  nature of change, and life as a series of decisions to be made), the Instructor (aka the Hierophant) (ed.: this card reflects on institutions, hierarchies, and tradition; the image is of an instructor who has “created or inherited her institution and … is now devoted to maintaining it”), Mentor of Bottles (ed: The Mentor of Bottles represents a leader who acts with responsibility, mastery, experience, calm, and tolerance.), and The Code (ed.: This card speaks to the rules and structures that hold power in communities, which can benefit us as well as constrain us.).

After giving myself such a relevant and accurate reading, I know that this is where I belong (referring to being a leader). That most times in our lives we question our greatness, and sometimes feel that we won’t or can’t deal with the pressures of being leaders, to own the power to have authority and make changes, even if it’s what we want the baddest in life. And from the Leadership Development Program review, I know that our beliefs can be passed on and taught to our future leaders of the LGBTQI community. To have rights and a voice. To be able to walk  in this world, not afraid and actually feel like a human being and not a shadow in a corner. At TYSN, we believe that our trans youth know themselves, believe in each other, can create the basis of respect by understanding our fears, are all teachers and learners all the time, that we are all mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, daughters and sons, but most importantly we are all worth it, worthy, beautiful, strong, more than a binary, are able to become self-actualized, can and have already succeeded as a person, and of course, leaders. We need to understand this now more than ever. We need to not only celebrate for Trans Day of Remembrance, but also become self-aware and ready to put an end to our community being the focus of violence. Of course it is more than important to recognize and pay homage to our fallen, but we also need to put our feet down and start being real leaders and making this stand. And personally speaking, if it’s true that this is my personal journey as a leader, I want to lead my troops to victory. I can’t continue to say “how bad” that another brother, sister, mother, father, partner, friend is gone from blind-hatred. From ignorance and discrimination.

I would have rather been punished for asserting myself than become another victim of hatred. No, I’m not saying violence is key or all people should react the way I did, but our communities, whether here or abroad, have become the victim of malicious and hateful crimes. We need to start now. Make your voices heard. Reach out to the lawmakers, hell get it to the president if we have to. But we need to stop and work from inside out. We need to find strong leaders who can handle the pressures of being just that. Also we need to stop “throwing so much shade” to each other. All that anger that we direct towards each other should be directed at its true source, the people who treat us badly. The politicians who act like we don’t exist and don’t focus on the rights and safety of the LGBTQI people, especially (trans)women. I would be lying if I said that I once wasn’t a shady girl, but now I am a woman who wants to be a role model and a leader for the (trans)woman of the 21^st century. To be unmarginalized and recognized for who I am, and who we are: strong, wonderful, loving women, and that we are people. That femininity can be as, if not more, strong and resilient than masculinity. That we deserve the same rights as any heterosexual, cissexual, or any person who objects against our being. It kills me to know that a man, or any person with a penis, can get a “genital pump,” with medial insurance, but we as (trans)women have to struggle with costs for GRS and other trans related medical issues, some of which hare not even considerable for insurance coverage. Crazy, right?

So my proposal is for all the organizations who are for growth of the (trans) youth, for the growth of OUR communities and such, to now take a collaborative into effect. To connect and extend to other organizations. To start building leaders and making changed for the better. At TYSN we believe that we can bring the (trans) community together, that we can foster the creation of POWERFUL art, that we can change the world, that we can create empowerment, that we can work with existing systems and outside systems to create resources for self and community and importantly, that we can overcome adversity and build a whole, balanced, and successful life. And I know we want that for all our (trans)women around the world. We need for our mission to promote racial, social, and economic justice for trans youth, with freedom to self-define gender identity and expression. I love my people and I want us all to succeed. It won’t be long before I’m out and I want to be involved with all those who are willing to step up and get ready for a revolution, and it will not be televised!

Before I go I want to give a shout-out to Janet Mock, for shouting me out in her wonderful interview about trans issues and her life from Marie Claire with Colorlines. Thank you for being such a strong, successful, positive (trans) women and showing us in a non-typical and stereotypical idea in the media. Much love to you lady! xo

This will be it for now, and I’ll be sure to follow up on this and on my future leaders. TTYL my lovelies!

“If you can achieve the thought, you can make it happen!”

Sincerest love,

CeCe

aka

Honee Bea