My name is Heidi. I was born Yung Ah Hwang, in an unknown place, (supposedly) in 1972. Found in Chuncheon City Hall (Kangwondo), brought to Ohsoonjul Baby Home, run by Mr. Chung Ha Boo in February. I stayed there until August, when I was brought to Holt-Seoul, Korea. This information is new to me, since I just received my paperwork from Holt.

I was adopted into my family in December. My parents are old school, who were told to raise me American. I have 2 adopted (Caucasian) brothers. My father was a pilot in the Air Force. We traveled ALOT.

My family is originally from NY. Mom from the Bronx, dad from Queens and grew up in Long Island. My family is a mix, but mostly Italian. I spent most summers with my Aunt, Uncle and cousins in Deer Park, so it’s just easier to say I’m from NY.

Fun Fact for you northerners, I was on Dance Party USA for 3 episodes with Kelly Ripa-before she became famous. I literally had to go to therapy, because I did not want to go on National TV. Looking back, it was because I was different…and my greatest fear came true, they made a racist crack about me during a spotlight dance. Anyway, I digress.

Childhood…was rocky at best. Not a great student, but not horrible. But my parents were loving and did the best they could. They never made us feel like we weren’t loved or theirs. I don’t have many memories before the age of 6 and also from 8-16. I blocked a lot of bad things that happened out apparently-or I just have CRS (Can’t remember Shiat). I remember always being curious and asking questions-never to my parents, just to my oldest brother. I knew so much more about my brother’s adoption then my own. My whole life has been an identity crisis…but don’t let me fool you, I was quite content in my own little world for the most part. I had met 3 other Asians before the age of 21-but no lasting friendships. I had some Vietnamese friends in Va. Beach, but that was when I was 15-16 and the memories are pretty blurry. (my parents briefly separated and I had some other unsavory incidents occur during that time-but I’ll save that for the book ) I never knew of the world that I’ve come to know in the last 3 months. I never knew there were culture camps and ‘gatherings’-specifically for people like me, there are groups of hundreds and thousands of other Korean adoptees, and that we’d all had the same issues-from identity crisis’, to being lactose intolerant and a multitude of other issues.

When I moved to Florida- it was the first time I had any real ‘asian’ friends. I befriend 2 half Thai women-who I am still friends with. They taught me how to be Thai, since I had no one to teach me to be Korean. Long story short, I eventually met my husband and had my son (now, 11). When he was born, I decided to change jobs and went to work for Rosalind. Rosalind was the first KAD I ever met. We were the same exact age, and as of today…confirmed that we were at the same place, and what we thought was at the same time…turns out that we missed each other by 47 days. She was adopted early in July and I, after being in the baby home, finally made it to Seoul in late August. Immediately after meeting Rosalind, we met another girl-Kristin. Same story, same age. Blah, blah, blah. She disappeared. I then met Jodie a few years later, another KAD-younger. That was it until this past June. That was my first gathering for the unofficial OKAG (Orlando Korean Adoptee Group). I stumbled onto Korean American Adoptees on Facebook about 4 months ago. I saw all of these groups meeting…and wondered if there was a group here in Florida. There wasn’t. So, I decided to form my own group OKAG. I was lucky enough to meet 3 amazing women. One of the adoptees told me about a culture camp-Moo Gung Hwa- she was a counselor at, and it was starting in less than 4 weeks. So, I immediately enrolled my son-whether he liked it or not and we hit the road to Raleigh. It was surreal. (I hate that word), but it was. Very emotional… I came back with a renewed inspiration of doing more. I immediately expanded OKAG to Tampa and Brevard County, with the help of another amazing KAD woman, from Holt. Whom, I can’t wait to meet in person one day

So, here I am today. We have our first meeting in Tampa next Saturday and the third meeting for Orlando/Brevard County the following week. Where do we go from here…not sure, but excited for the possibilities.

I have received my file from Holt, awaiting the International version and any results of a birth family search. I have also applied for the GOA’L sponsorship and awaiting the results of that as well. I’m not sure that I’m necessarily wanting to find a family out there, or so that’s what I tell myself; but I do know I want to know more. Where did I come from? How did I get here? …you know all the usual questions. I’m desperate to see the place I was born in and to learn just a little bit about the country that let me go. At the age of 39-and knocking on 40’s door, I feel a sense of urgency. Is it too late? Will I find out I waited too long to ask these questions and there is no family left? I don’t know…so we’ll see what happens, so stay tuned folks!

Heidi Jaehne | OKAG | Orlando Korean Adoptees Group | FloridaKADS@groups.facebook.com  |hid0127@gmail.com

Chinese Adoptees in Sweden

Growing up surrounded by blond, blue-eyed children in Sweden, Chinese adoptees Alice, Mimmi, Nanna and Linnéa always felt different. The girls were adopted on the same day from the same orphanage but — having moved abroad as babies — they don’t speak Mandarin and have no concept of their native country. Now ten years old, they are returning to China for the first time. What will they make of their homeland? A moving look at identity.

When I Was Younger and Saw my Friends Hugging Their Parents

I recall feeling so jealous because people weren’t so judgmental when they saw them hug.  People didn’t burn their eyes into them.  I wasn’t ashamed of looking different in my family, being the only brown one.  I was upset from the way I was treated from the constant stares.  I was jealous that people knew that they were related and when I was in the presence of my parents and another child who was also white Caucasian, people thought they belonged to them.

During an adoption lesson, we had to choose whether we relate more to our birth country, being American, or being an adoptee. The majority of us, including myself, chose adoptee. For us, that category is right in the middle between birth country and American.

While we’re being raised in the American culture by caucasian parents, a lot of us still don’t feel like we actually belong in that category. The same goes for birth country. It doesn’t really matter if I look Asian or not because I know that I’ll never really be fully “Asian/Chinese” either.

I really cannot wait until next year when I can give back to Holt what it gave me. I’ll be old enough to be a CIT, and then after, a counselor! Poor kids. That will probably be one of the best experiences ever, especially since it’s so special.

The Adopted Koreans – Diaspora Politics and the Construction of an Ethnic Identity

Leading theorists in ethnicity and diaspora studies, such as Thomas Hylland Eriksen or Robert Cohen and William Safran, would not consider the adopted Koreans neither as an ethnic group nor a diaspora in a classical Western meaning. The group lacks everything from a common language to any serious attempts to endogamy, which Hylland Eriksen talks about while defining an ethnic group, and the existence of a myth of a homeland as both Cohen and Safran put great emphasize on. ²⁴

Instead adopted Koreans are considered a part of their host countries with no relation at all to Korea or their Korean families. The result is that adopted Koreans are expected to be loyal to their adoptive parents and assimilate fully to their host cultures. Those who are showing an active interest in Korean culture or want to reconnect to their Korean family are accused of exposing nationalism and biologism, which is considered un-acceptable for a typical Western left-liberal adoptive family.

‘the art of the real’ project for ART 250.

EXTENDED VERSION COMING SOON!

Thanks and much appreciation to Mica Swyers and Charlie Hedeen for all your help and participation in this project!