I remember that point in which I had swallowed the water…it was utter loneliness and the realization that I am drowning. A terrible moment, and one of the worst of all near-death experiences… an empty, pitch-black darkness and a singular loneliness… when that sinking feeling (stupid pun intended) becomes all too real.

And, when all hope was lost, and the mind was preparing for the final stage – unconsciousness, two hands pulled me up to a raft. Fortunately, there was atleast one raft behind us and they could paddle good enough to come to the proper spot.

How did I end up in this mess? My raft had collapsed after hitting a rock in the white-water course in the Alaknanda River near the Himalayas (Uttarakhand).  This happens if the rafters weights are not balanced or if one group in the raft doesn’t paddle properly to change directions. Usually nothing happens since everyone wears a life jacket and experts are nearby to rescue you.

But in my case it was an improbably unlucky event, as the rafting expert couldn’t see me because I was “under” the toppled raft, head down, legs up, trying to grasp the raft or a rope hoping someone on the raft would pull me up (this was the instruction given to us by the expert before we started the course).

My life-jacket ensured I didn’t sink, but being a non-swimmer, I couldn’t get my head up the water because of the strong current of the rapids near the rock.  Luckily, one raft colleague who got rescued alerted the team following us that there was still one guy trapped below the capsized raft…and finally after ONE WHOLE MINUTE under water, I was pulled out.

Geez. Try holding your breath for one minute. Now try doing the same under water. Next try doing it when the water is icy cold at around 4 – 5 degrees C.  Add some swift water currents to the mix. Now you know what am talking about.

7 rafts along the river, with 6 novices vs 1 or 2 experts in each. I keep thinking, what if my raft was the LAST one and no raft had followed behind us? Worse, the raft behind us (which too had majority first-timers paddling) could have missed me or the river current could have taken it a distance away or they could have collapsed themselves.

It also shows us the futility of life-jackets. They are not foolproof in the case of non-swimmers, as sometimes you can get trapped head-down under the raft and get pulled by the river currents.

Some 10 minutes after the rescue, I could breathe normally after a few heavy burps because of the enormous amount of water I had swallowed. Am I ever going to do white water rafting again? Yes, if there are two experts for every single novice in the raft. Any ratio lower than this is unsafe and reckless, and should be banned by the Govt. (Am defining a “Novice” as someone who is rafting for the first time and doesn’t know to swim).

Am having a painful sinus infection after the river water entered my nose and eyes…and have lost my expensive spectacles. But I can happily live with this for a couple of days…as I feel plain lucky to be alive.

To see how a capsized raft can kill, click on this link: 2001 rafting accident (BBC)

Read on.

Joining vajazzle, ohshatuuuup and jel in the Essex dictionary, we know have the word reem. Invented inside the mysterious empty void that is Joey Essex’s brain, we’re not entirely clear what the term means, but apparently it’s a phrase of endearment. It may seem idiotic right now (and it is), but trust us, you’ll all be saying it in a couple of months’ time. As Joey Essex so poetically put on his Twitter account today, “Look reem… smell reem… be reem… Reem.”

The slang usage is apparently derived from Swedish and is used to describe an incredibly sexy and physically talented individual. A “reem” is always envied and desired by others who are not able to reach “reem status”.  The Telegraph though has opted for a slightly toned down definition calling it a  term of endearment to mean ‘cool’.

Here are some popular clips

But what is the original meaning of the word “reem”?

“Reem” is used as a female name in the Arab world (for example: Reem Acra in Lebanon) and as a male name in Israel (ex:  Reem Aminoach).  As one reader pointed out it is a family name or surname in Dutch (ex: van Reem) and surnames are historically taken after a male patriarch in most societies. In the Arab world, “Reem” is popularly understood to mean  “gazelles” or “white antelopes” (clearly some connection to animals with “horns”). Lots of Arabic words have digressed from their original Semitic roots. Take for example the famous case of the word  “‘houris” which has been misunderstood for centuries as “doe-eyed fair maidens” when they could also mean “white raisins of crystal clarity”.  (Source: The Guardian)

But it’s clear there is some Semitic origin for this word. According to this early 19th Century report of an event which took place in Glasgow City published in the Glasgow Argus newspaper:

Glasgow Argus
MONDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 7, 1835

…Our visitor is of ancient lineage, though we are by no means certain that it can be traced quite so far back as his flatterers have attempted to do. Some have represented him as the lineal descendant of the Reem , of whom mention is made in the Books of Number and Deuteronomy, in the Psalms, in Job, and in Isaiah. The genealogy is not very clearly made out. In the kindred dialect of the Arabic, Rem denotes an antelope. Of course this does not prove that the Hebrew Reem was an antelope; for only from scientific zoologists can we expect critical accuracy in the matter of names, and we know well the carelessness with which colonists apply the names of the beasts and birds of their fatherland to those which they find in their new domicile. On the other hand, the text of the Septuagint favours the identity of the Reem with the rhinoceros, by translating it monoceros . The Ethiopic translation of the Scriptures renders it Arwe Harish , the names of the rhinoceros; this, however, is of little consequence, as it seems now to be admitted that that translation was made from the Septuagint. This latter, however, was effected before the birth of our Saviour, by Jews resident in Egypt, at a time when the rhinoceros was frequently exhibited there as a part of the royal pomp of the Ptolemies.

Read more of the press overage of the great Indian Rhino’s visit to the UK over here: Rhino Resource

Here’s an alternative definition for “Reem” where scholars argue it translates to a “wild bull or ox” and not “rhinoceros or unicorn”: Unicorns and the KJV