Here are the two recipes I promised. I already posted a photo of the salmon salad the other day and of course forgot to take a photo of the chicken last night. So I found this photo online at The Taste of Home website which is where I got the recipe. They serve it with pasta.

Sarah’s Salmon Salad

Ingredients:

1/4 cup of maple syrup (the real stuff not that imitation crap)

2 TBLS Soy Sauce  ( Sarah prefers dark soy sauce because of the richer flavor)

1 clove minced garlic

1/4 tsp garlic salt (we use garlic powder, there’s already enough salt in the soy sauce.)

1/8 tsp black pepper ( I only use freshly ground black pepper. I am a pepper snob)

1pound salmon

Directions:

Mix up the first 5 ingredients in a small bowl. Place Salmon in a shallow baking dish and coat with the mixture. Cover the dish and marinate in the fridge for 30 minutes. turning once. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Cooking  time is about 20 minutes give or take.  You have to use your own judgement to see if it is cooked through.  I cook it with the skin side down. When it’s done I just peel off the skin.

Now those are the actual directions.  My daughter doesn’t measure anything.  She just pours the stuff on and we usually cook about 2 pounds of salmon for all of us.

We make a buffet style salad.  I fill bowls with salad ingredients like:  salad greens, grape tomatoes, avocado, yellow peppers, cashews, dried cranberries, crumbled goat cheese, FF croutons and I put out a couple of different bottles of FF dressing.  My favorite being a balsamic vinaigrette.  Of course, you can make up your salad with anything you want and then I just place the warm salmon on top.

It really is awesome and if you aren’t fond of salmon this might change your mind.

Rosemary Cashew Chicken

Ingredients:

1 whole chicken– I buy a whole chicken, usually a 7 pounder because we have a lot of big eaters and we love leftovers.  I have the butcher cut it up and skin it. They can’t skin the back or the wings so I don’t use them. You can save them for soup stock. I have it skinned because of WW.

1 med. onion sliced thin

1/3 cup frozen orange juice concentrate (do not water down the concentrate)

1 tsp dried rosemary or 1 TBL fresh rosemary

1 tsp salt (I don’t use the salt -blood pressure problems and people eat too much salt anyway.)

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

2 TBLS cornstarch

3 TBLS water

1/3 cup chopped cashews.

Put chicken pieces in slow cooker. Combine in a bowl, onion, OJ concentrate, rosemary, salt and cayenne. mix it up and pour over chicken.

Cook on low for 4-5 hours.  Mine usually cooks for 5 hours because I use a 7 pound or more chicken.

About 1/2 hour before it is finished,  mix cornstarch and water until smooth and add to pot stirring it well into the liquid which there will be a lot of.  Add the chopped cashews.

Don’t be afraid of the cayenne and OJ concentrate.  This is not a “Hot” dish because of the cayenne and the OJ does not over power the chicken.  You just get a hint of citrus.  The meat falls off the bone it is so damn tender. Be careful because there could be bones in the gravy so watch out for kids.  My SIL likes dark meat and my daughter likes white meat which is why I use a whole cut up chicken to make everyone happy.  You could make the same recipe using chicken breasts on the bone.  I don’t recommend using boneless chicken breasts in a slow cooker.  If you cook them even a bit too long they shred.  With a slow cooker you do not want to overcook chicken. I serve this over Jasmine rice and with broccoli.

With a big chicken I use a 7 quart slow cooker.  If you have a smaller slow cooker use a smaller chicken or just use the chicken breasts on the bone or chicken thighs or whatever the hell kind of chicken you like.

I will guarantee that this recipe is very tasty.  Everyone here loves it.

Remember with a slow cooker to not be tempted to take off the cover and stir. Only take off the cover when you have to.  You lose a lot of heat by removing the cover.

The Rosemary cashew chicken is about 7 weight watcher points for one piece of meat and some gravy.

Bon Appetit

Just a quick post to let you know that I took part in a 3 part survey called Women + Blogosphere = Impact.  It was done by Writerchick AKA Annie over at Writer Chick Talks - The Home Planet

I have to say that I have the utmost respect for this woman.  She is definitely not a dumbass.  She did a great favor by letting me do a guest post a while back about some serious things (Yes, I can actually be serious on occasion.) that I didn’t want to write about here.  And at that time she hardly knew me.

Since that time I have found Annie to be a most awesome writer and blogger.  She is a caring, intelligent woman and I am pleased to call her a friend.  I hope you head over to her blog to read all three parts of this survey about women, men and blogging. She put a lot of work into it so I would like to have it get to the people so they can enjoy the results of her labor.

Thanks Annie for including me.

Humor-Blogs.com

OK, We’ve all decided I’m only human but geez, I still make some dumbass mistakes. And I have the nerve to get a hold of a camcorder to video people doing dumbass stuff.  I wonder who is taking videos of me?  I need binoculars.

My neighbors might be videotaping me at this very moment.  I sit in the picture window and there aren’t any curtains.  The whole world could be watching me. There may already be YouTubes  up of me doing dumbass stuff.  Yikes!! OK, a little too paranoid here.

OMG,  I forgot to tell you,  Sarah’s car was broken into on Monday night.  After bringing all the groceries in the house we forgot to lock the car.  The one freakin’ night we don’t lock it they get in and steal her Sirius Radio worth about $270.

THIS IS WHAT’S LEFT OF THE RADIO.

The stupid dumbasses didn’t even steal her $300 pair of sunglasses.  Yes, she has a sunglasses addiction.

Now here is my theory.  I went to bed at 1:30 AM and couldn’t sleep and got up about 2:30 AM to get on the computer in the living room.  I turned on the light and I wonder if I scared them away.  They even left the loose change in the car (about $10 worth)  and instead of unplugging the radio from the cigarette lighter they just ripped the wire like they were in a mad hurry.

So I went to the police station on Tuesday morning to report it and a woman walks in to report her two cars were also broken into and she lives right around the corner from me.  She said she never locks her cars.  I bet she will now.

I thought of a few more confessions I need to get off my chest which is actually getting smaller.  So before it disappears altogether I should make my confessions now.

My first confession is I didn’t post a Weight Watchers Saturday update this week because Weight Watchers Saturday sort of sucked.  I only lost .2 pounds.  That’s point 2 not to be confused with 2.  I know I shouldn’t let it bother me.  I did lose something but I was on a roll having lost 3.5 one week and then 4 the next week.  WTF happened?  I eat the same damn food every week except for the possibility that I ate too many FF Pringles.

“Olean® allows snack manufacturers to make great tasting, low calorie, zero fat savory snacks – an excellent alternative to full-fat snacks. A diet high in fat and calories can contribute to obesity, increased risk of heart disease and an increased risk of certain kinds of cancers. By reducing calories and fat from the diet and adopting a healthy lifestyle, people can lessen their chances of having to battle the pains of obesity, heart disease and cancer.

Olean contributes zero total fat, zero saturated fat, and zero trans fat and as a result can assist individuals trying to eliminate fat, calories and trans fat from their diets by offering unique health and taste benefits. As millions of consumers have found, Olean snacks are a great tasting option when looking to manage calories and fat. Both Pringles Light and Frito-Lay Light products contain Olean.”

What they neglect to say is that if you eat too much Olean you get diarrhea.  They also neglect to say that you’re never going to look like that woman in their photo and they also neglect to say that if you eat three boxes of FF Pringles in the dark in one week you aren’t going to lose weight. So I have decided to stop eating FF Pringles because I have no control over them.  I already ate two boxes this week so I don’t think I’m going to have a good WW Saturday this week either.

My only other confession I will make today, because this post is already getting too long,  is when Sarah was about 4 or 5 months old I dropped her on her head.

She was in her high chair but I had forgotten to strap her in. I turned around for one second and then I heard the clunk and she’s on the floor crying.  I was convinced she would be brain damaged.  It actually must have done her some good because she turned out so smart but it scared the hell out of me at the time.

Well, I have to go make a crockpot of “Rosemary Cashew Chicken”.  I hope all my good cooking makes up for locking Sarah in a running car and dropping her on her head.

My daughter has Mondays off and we usually do something together. The first thing we did was take Sarah and Obie’s dog Phoenix to the vet to have her nails trimmed.

Phoenix, taking her job of driving very seriously.

Phoenix smiling because she knows she is doing a great job at the wheel.

I swear Phoenix drives better than the woman in this video that I took. Unfortunately I missed videotaping her doing anything stupid but you can listen to me complain about her dumassness.

Afterward we went to the beach.  I haven’t been to the beach in maybe 17 years.  We brought our lunch.  I got a grilled chicken wrap and I didn’t eat the cole slaw that came with it.

That was a lousy picture because I couldn’t  see what was on the screen of the camera in the sun until it occurred to me to use the viewfinder. But before I realized you could look in the viewfinder and actually see what you were taking a photo of I took this picture of a kite.

I wonder where the kite is?

Sarah took this video of me as I was walking back from the water. I went in all the way to my ankles.

We stayed at the beach for almost 3 hours.  It was so nice and relaxing.  There was a nice sea breeze. It was cloudy at first and it was later in the day when we got there but soon a hazy sun came out along with more tourists.

We went to the grocery store next and I spared Sarah the embarrassment of bringing in the camera.  We came home and Sarah made Salmon Salad, one of her specialties.  She even bought the good Wild Salmon.

And of course now I am blogging after making Sarah 2 breakfasts ( yogurts and Vitamuffins), 2 lunches (one sandwich and wrapping up the stuff for her to make one more sandwich)  and one supper( leftover Salmon Salad ) for her overnight stay on the Island tomorrow night.

And that was my day and a very good one at that.

I was tagged by Thoughts From An Intoxicating Mind to do this meme. I do love me a good meme.

Ten movies you’d watch over and over:

1. Anne of Green Gables
2. Anne of Avonlea
3. The Man From Snowy River
4. The Stand
5. Taken
6. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
7. The Last of the Mohicans
8. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
9. L.A. Confidential
10. Gladiator

Nine people you enjoy the company of:

1. Sarah
2. Damon
3. Barry
4. Barbara
5. Craig
6. Emily
7. John
8. Cindy
9. Nancy

Eight things you’re wearing:

1. Birkenstocks
2. jeans
3. undies
4. t-shirt
5. bra
6. glasses
7. 5 rings
8. bracelet

Seven things on your mind:

1. my son
2. what to blog about next
3. what to cook for supper
4. should I actually get up and water the plants or not
5. should I bother to figure out how to do all the crap my cell phone is capable of or just be happy I know how to talk on it
6. should I do the dishes now or later
7. when should I do my grocery shopping

Six objects you touch every day:

1. mouse
2. keyboard
3. toothbrush
4. kitty boys
5. food
6. steering wheel

Five things you do everyday:

1. blog
2. brush my teeth
3. drink water
4. eat
5. drive to town

Four things that you see when you turn your head to the right:

1. window
2. bird feeder
3. flower boxes
4. chickadee

THE DAMN CHICKADEE FLEW AWAY! OH, NOW THE LITTLE SHIT COMES BACK. DUMBASS BIRD!

Three of your favorite things that are red color:

1. cell phone
2. one of the gems in my mother’s ring
3. my coffee thermos

Two people who have influenced your life the most:

1. my wasband (I’ve know him 40 freakin’ years. He’s bound to have had some influence on me.)
2. my sister ( I tell her everything and she helps me to see things right)

One person who has been nice to you today:

1. the wasband  (I was supposed to pick up the kids at the boat and he did it for me)

I JUST FOUND THIS PHOTO OF THE WASBAND TAKEN MANY YEARS AGO. IT WAS ON A BANK ID CARD.

As usual I’m not tagging.  I’m just not a good tagger.

I’m sorry to keep posting about dumbasses.  I should just call my blog  “The Dumbass Blog”.  Anyway, in my last post I told you all how I recently locked my keys in the car while it was running. This is my dumbass confession:   This is NOT the first time I have done it.

The other time was much worse.  My daughter, Sarah,  was about two years old.  I put her in her car seat and started the car.  I realized I had forgotten something which now I have forgotten what it is that I had forgotten.  Confused yet?  I made a very dumbass move and left Sarah in the car while it was running to go in the house and get whatever it was that I had forgotten.  You guessed it.  I locked her in the car.  Obviously the keys were in the ignition.  I panicked.

Fortunately she was happy with some toy she was playing with, smiling at me through the closed windows.

I COULDN’T FIND A PIC OF WHEN SHE WAS TWO SO THIS WILL HAVE TO DO.

Also, it wasn’t summer and the inside of the car was cool. In my panic I was going to break the window but I tried to calm myself and figure out a way to get to her without wrecking the car.  This was all before cell phones. So I did the first thing that came to mind.  I ran next door and called my Daddy.

DADDY DEAR!!

I also got a coat hanger from the neighbors and ran back to the car.  I knew my father would be there in minutes and handle the situation.  He was the kind of Dad that always knew what to do. While I was waiting for him (as tears poured from my eyes for being so stupid)  I somehow managed to get the coat hanger through a tiny crack in the window and lifted up the lock and got the door open before my father even got to the house.

The funny thing is as soon as he arrived and I saw his face I burst into tears even though I had gotten Sarah out safely.

That was dumbass confession number one.  The second one is even worse.  I was driving with the kids.  Sarah was about 6 years old and Damon about 4 years old.

SHE LOVED HIM THIS DAY BUT SHE BAILED OUT ON HIM SOON AFTERWARD.

I stopped off at the little store down the street and left them in the car. I didn’t leave the car running and took the keys with me.  The car was parked on a small incline and Damon decided to touch the stick shift and put it into neutral. I heard Sarah scream as the car started rolling  down the incline toward the main road.  Sarah actually jumped out of the car while it was slowly moving leaving her brother to suffer the consequences.  I ran to the car, literally trying to hold it back from reaching the main road and at the same time pulling up the emergency break and saving Damon from what I thought was near death. I never left them in the car again. It’s amazing what can happen in one minute when you turn your back on young children.

SARAH AND DAMON, ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF US.

Now we come to dumbass confession number three which I still have nightmares about.  My daughter was in first grade and I would drive her to the bus stop with Damon and wait with her until the bus came.  I tried to be a good mother and would never have left her at the bus stop alone.  Damon was in the back seat.  He was about 4 years old again, evidently a bad year for him. I always made the kids wear seat belts.  The bus came and Sarah went off to school.  Damon and I headed into town taking the back road through a housing development  to get to the main road.

Thank God I was driving very slow because all of a sudden I heard a scream.  I looked in the rearview mirror and Damon was in the road about 15 yards behind me getting up off the ground  I slammed on the breaks and jumped out of the car (not even putting the car in park) running to him as he ran towards me.  His sweet little face was bleeding.  I was hysterical and so was he.  I checked all over his little body to make sure he was OK.  All he had was a scraped chin.  What I didn’t know is when we were parked waiting for the bus he had undone his seat belt and opened the door of the car and not closed it.  The door must have opened as I was driving and he tumbled out.  I can only thank God I didn’t run over him. I can still see his face in that rear view mirror.  It haunts me to this day.

IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE THE SCAR ON HIS CHIN.

So I gave myself this award

It just goes to show you how no one is perfect and we can all be dumbasses sometimes.

Hopefully as a Grandmother I will have learned some lessons.

So I finally get a video camera from my daughter (her old one from2003) which works fine for me. I have taken it with me everyday since I got it and guess what?  That’s right folks, not a dumbass in sight EXCEPT when I am at the wheel of my car.  Then, every dumbass in town is out.  Only I don’t multitask when I drive.  NO, NO, NO, not a good idea for me.  It takes all my concentration to drive and not be a dumbass myself.

I could have gotten great footage this week because town is packed.  There are tourists everywhere. I have seen people do things with their cars that I didn’t think were possible.  But I don’t dare drive and film with all the traffic. I barely talk on my cell phone while driving.

I THINK WE PROBABLY DIDN’T NEED ALL THAT RESEARCH DONE TO FIGURE THIS OUT. YOU LOOK AWAY FROM THE ROADWAY AND BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN.

This is a true story.  I saw one woman go up a one way on the left hand side with her right blinker on and go straight. WTF?

Now we come to Dumbass confessions.  I locked the keys in my car with the car running when I went to the grocery store with my brother. I still don’t know how it happened.

NOTICE HE CALLED HER MA’AM AND DIDN’T EVEN SPELL IT RIGHT.

I had forgotten to return a propane tank so I told my brother to wait in the car and I would go do it.  I decided to start the car because it was really hot in it and I wanted my brother to have the air conditioner on.  My brother hadn’t gotten into the car yet.  He was returning his shopping cart.  I leaned into the car, started the engine, closed the door and all the doors to the car were now locked. I went into the store to get a broom and sneak it through the window, which I had left cracked.  My plan was to use the broom handle to press down on the lock on the opposite door and it would open.  My brother decided he could fit his arm through the window faster than what I was doing and he managed to get his arm in and unlock the door.  Only now his arm was stuck in the window.  Talk about a dumb ass.  He asks me how is he going to get his arm out.  Well I said ” Duh, I’ll open your door and roll down the window”.  He said “Oh”.

Then I thought, why wasn’t I filming all this drama.  Duh, my camera was locked in the car.

So I guess I should just start filming myself doing dumbass stuff.

ME AT THE BEACH.  YOU CAN SEE THE BRIDGE IN THE BACKROUND.

PRACTICE VIDEO #4

Well, we’ve decided I’m not elderly and I don’t need a face lift.  There are some things I do need.

1. A new laptop
2. A garden statue
3. A Flip video camera ( I still want one)
4. A new car
5. An HDTV
6. A bigger house

I can’t ask the keepers and the wasband for all this stuff.  It just wouldn’t be right. I’ll never be able to save for them and I have nothing to sell to get any of these things.

My answer:  I need a Sugar Daddy!

Now I could run into some problems with this. In a year I will be close to my goal weight so I, hopefully, won’t look too bad.  I can hide the saggy skin.  Actually, maybe I should add “remove saggy skin to the list ( just minor surgery) “.  In a year I will also be 60,  not the usual age of a Sugar Baby.  So this means I have to find someone very old so that I will seem young and he probably should be blind.

Of course he will have to be very rich without a family.  I don’t want to hassle with his family over the will which I will force him to make once it is understood that I am his Queen.

I also don’t want to live with him, marry him or have sex with him.  I know I’m asking a lot here. Basically I just want him to buy me stuff and leave me all his money when his heart gives out from laughing at my jokes.

I will hang out with him. I might even cook him a meal once in a while.  Since he’ll be so old I’ll probably only have to make him broth.  I won’t spoon feed him.  I’ll hire someone for that with his money.  I will entertain him when I have time which won’t be often because I will be blogging on my new laptop.

Now, the question that remains is where do I find him?  There are many online Sugar Daddy sites but I am sure the Sugar Daddy Men are looking for young hot Sugar Babies.

A SUCCESSFUL MATCH!

I’VE EVEN PICKED OUT AN OUTFIT TO WEAR TO SEDUCE HIM.  HOPEFULLY HE WILL BE BLIND AND WON’T HAVE TO SEE IT.

I value your opinions.  You’ve convinced me I am not elderly and don’t need plastic surgery.  So what do you think?  Should I move forward with my plans of finding a Sugar Daddy or just go without the material things and keep on cooking?

I was thinking that when I lose the rest of my weight I am going to have some extra sagging skin.  The worst offender, because it will show, will be my face and under my chin.  Everything else I can cover up. So I have two photos here.  Which way do you think I should go, the first or the second?

You can read about her here.

Maybe I’ll just not worry too much about any extra skin.  Both of these looks scare the hell out of me.

ELDERLY

Yea, you heard me. Is it when you start getting mail from AARP?  I won’t open up that crap.  I chuck it. Is it when you get barraged about buying life insurance?  Is it when you have to say “WHAT” four times before you actually hear what someone is saying?  Does it have to do with a certain age?  Like when you’re 62 you are automatically elderly because you can collect Social Security.  Is it when your memory starts failing you?

I want to know if I am freakin’ elderly.  Is it when young dudes call you Ma’am?

Noun

1.

ma’am - a woman of refinement; “a chauffeur opened the door of the limousine for the grand lady” gentlewoman, madam, dame, lady grande dame - a middle-aged or elderly woman who is stylish and highly respected madame - title used for a married Frenchwoman adult female, woman - an adult female person (as opposed to a man); “the woman kept house while the man hunted”

I would rather be called almost anything other than Ma’am.  And if anyone ever offers me a senior citizen discount I’ll cane them. I’d rather pay more than be called a senior citizen.  Oh, and then we come back to the politically correct term, get this–a citizen of advanced years. WTF?

I wonder if you are considered elderly when you have to wear paper towels as a bib cause you spill on your T-shirts a lot. Oh, please tell me no.

Or is it when you start wearing clothes that are a little inappropriate.

Or is it when you are willing to spend $150 on some cream that’s supposed to get rid of fine lines and huge wrinkles.

Or is it all in your head?