On second thought, I decided to write an article on my return to World of Warcraft: Cataclysm!  A friend of mine just got me back into playing, though I’m really pissed about the timing we had.  If you played WoW once, and have been gone like I have for an extended period of time, you should really consider getting back into the game.  I’ll get into what I really like about what they’ve added in a second, but I have to say this: Blizzard must be REALLY scraping the bottom of the barrel for players.  If your friend over there that still plays WoW sends you a scroll of resurrection, s/he gets a spectral gryffin/wind rider (but I mean, please, who wouldn’t want the wind rider?).  Now Johnny, tell them what YOU get for coming back!
That’s right, Ted!  For a limited time only, you get: Seven free days of WoW!  So you can get the hang of things!  You know, that’s cool…But wait, there’s more!
A free character bump to 80!  So you can jump right into Cataclysm content!  But wait, I don’t have Cataclysm because it’s been that long…
Well then, how about A FREE UPGRADE TO CATACLYSM?!  That’s right, for coming back, (supplies limited) you can get the latest expansion for free!
And if your friend doesn’t play on the same server/faction as you?  That’s okay, too, because that free 80 that you just got?  You can transfer faction/realm on that character to your friend’s realm fo’ free.

…I missed this by a day.  I cannot tell you how pissed I was.  $40…/sigh.  Oiy.

Anyways, so, if the scroll of resurrection isn’t enough to consider getting back into the game with, let me get you in on the juicy new content!  Which, you know, isn’t new anymore because it’s been out for 16 months or so…HEAR ME OUT!  COME ON MAN, IT’S STILL NEW TO ME!  /cry

Now that that’s out of the way, I’ll just come out and say it: I’ve never been a fan of questing.  I had my two 80s (a warrior and a dk…and yes, the warrior dinged 80 first), and then really low level alts.  I hated questing, and hated leveling, at least in vanilla WoW.  I liked the beginning of Outlands, but it got monotonous after a while.  Northrend was really fun, though.  And now the 85 content  has truly overcome my expectations.

For my warrior I started in Hyjal, because before I had quitI had just gotten the Mt. Hyjal raid achievement for beating Archimonde, and I was proud.  So I figured, well, I left off here, might as well begin where I left off.  The quests not only kept my attention more, but had a real coherent story line that stayed for the entirety of the zone.  I really felt like I was playing an RPG.  That, and I’ve seen that Blizzard has really stepped up story plots and such, and has added A LOT of new cut scenes.  Which I think is fantastic, by the way.  It feels like you’re actually playing a real game now.  Oh, and one of the daily quests in Hyjal was a 3D version of Joust.

That really appealed to me.  But then, I was all out of quests in Hyjal…dawww.  Well, guess I’ll just have to settle with Uldum next.  I will say, Uldum was a blast, too.  Specially questing with Harrison Ford, wait.  No, I’m sorry, I mean Indiana Jones…wait, that’s wrong again.  HARRISON JONES.  Thank you Blizzard for hitting me in the sweet spot.  I gotta say, I loved the Indiana Jones series…all three of them.  And anyone who questions that or doesn’t like them can go ride a tank off a cliff…or drink from the wrong cup.  Get it?  Damn kids….anywho, that quest line was absolutely fantastic, and keeps you rigid in yet another story line that brought me through pretty much the entirety of Uldum.

"What do you mean there's a fourth movie, Junior? I really have died, haven't I?"

And with the entirety of Uldum quested out, I proceeded to the Twilight Highlands, which I actually didn’t get fully through, because I dinged 85 (yay!  Grats TheScourge!), and I’ll just say this now: I’m a sucker for end game content.  With that, I’ll get into how I went from greens and blues to eligible for 25 man raids within THREE DAYS.  I played WoW for a week, and I went over the gear of my friend who had good gear.  Yes, I’m just that good.

Actually, I’m really not, but having friends in the right places (and the right professions) really helps.  The vicious pyrium set, for example, may be blues, but they’re iLevel 377, and you become eligible for random heroic Hours of Twilight dungeons at…I want to say 353?  Or something like that…after a day of running/getting carried through those, I had enough gear to get me to an average item level to start RAID FINDER.

Mind you, this is an entirely new experience for me.  I had just quit when random dungeons had come into being, but random RAIDS?  This had to be madness.  Turns out, I really like the system.  Yes, they dumb down the fights, but I mean, they really have to.  That, and it’s a great way to get your foot in the door for real raids.

So, if you love questing, I’d say definitely think about coming back.  And if you love raiding?  Well, I definitely suggest coming back.  PVP?  Well, I’m definitely not the guy you’d want to talk to, lol.  But PvE is great!

Yes, this is actually TheScourge, on Elune. He's a little camera shy, so he held up his MASSIVE TWO HANDED MACE in front of the camera. Silly, shy guy.

If you ever want to talk to me/find me in game, I’m TheScourge on Elune.  I’m usually doing random stuff, or truly random stuff.  Like Molten Core.  Or Ahn’Qiraj.  Because I can.

When are YOU coming back?

The Final Countdown

Before you say anything. Yes. Yes it is. Mass Effect 3 is everything that you’ve ever asked for in a Mass Effect game and so much more. So many times in conversations with friends over the past year have I said that I am legitimately scared for Mass Effect 3. I was the guy who was shouting from the rooftops, “There is no way they can make a better game than Mass Effect 2!” But they did, and I am here humbled and astonished at what I have witnessed. The culmination of the most epic space drama I have ever been a part of.

The gameplay you expect from Mass Effect is back with little tweaks here and there. The combat is more Mass Effect 2 brought over to 3. You shoot, you run, you throw biotics/grenades/incinerates, what have you to take down your enemies. This time around, though, you have a dive in which you press X (or A) in a certain direction in order to dive in that direction. Standard stuff for most third-person games.

I find the new leveling system rather enjoyable. You have your seven slots to fill in each of your character’s unique abilities. With each ability you have a skill-tree  in which you are given choices as to what you want to improve: rate of cooldown, how much health and shield power you’ll be given, how much damage you do — it’s all in your hands.

Omni-Blading your face off. Everyday!

You’ve probably heard the story already: Take Earth Back. I loved the concept but somehow I thought that BioWare was going to focus too much on Earth. Luckily I was dead wrong. You still traverse the galaxy as you normally would with the Normandy. The Normandy has a few upgrades since our last adventure, but the War Terminal is the key addition. It’s used to show how ready you are against the Reapers. Certain things affect your readiness rating, but it will never get past 50 until you do — well, something I’ll get into later. Every race can help you, whether it’s Krogans, Turians, Asari, Salarians, Quarians, Alliance or even Geth. The main function is to see just who is on your side currently in the war to take Earth back. (Yeah that’s a common theme throughout the game, and it’s made very clear during the beginning.) You can also traverse the galaxy and do other missions like N7 missions, things like stopping Cerberus from detonating a bomb, stopping Cerberus from taking a school hostage or… let’s face it, all of the N7 missions have to do with Cerberus. But don’t get the wrong idea: That’s still cool! There are also quite a few Citadel Missions you can do to help out the galaxy as well.

Side Note: I feel it necessary to mention this because of the recent backlash over the ending(s) of this game. This entire trilogy is about the LEGEND of Commander Shepard. You always knew that it would get to this point people. Stop complaining and appreciate the magnitude of what we were given. 

The multiplayer is something I worried about while waiting for Mass Effect 3, and I have to say, they knocked it out of the park. You can create your own characters, earn different races to play, and customize how characters look. There’s also a store where you buy packs (Recruit, Veteran, or Spectre) to better equip your characters. When you first create a character, there is a free Starter Pack, but after that you need credits to unlock other packs to get guns and characters. How do you get credits, you ask? Well, you can pay a dollar or two for micro-transactions, but you mainly get credits by playing the multiplayer, earning extra credits by getting medals for accomplishments like getting five headshots or ten biotic kills.

The multiplayer is a four-player cooperative recon mission in which you have 11 waves of enemies and after the eleventh wave, you are extracted from the point; mission accomplished.

"That was my kill and you know it!"

That’s right, folks, this is a teamwork multiplayer, so look alive and quit being a kill-stealing whore. You all need to have each others’ backs to keep yourselves alive. I find that it’s very hard without having a microphone to communicate, so definitely try it out with some buddies.

Oh, and remember that thing I was going to tell you about? Well, it’s happening now. The readiness in your War Terminal will rise above 50% when you complete all of the missions you need to complete in the multiplayer in order to show your galactic readiness. I personally think it’s an ingenious way to get those of us who bought the game to actually try out the multiplayer and, personally, I enjoy the hell out of it. I must say, though, there were a few hiccups here and there but they’ve fixed those up since I started playing it last Tuesday.

The sounds in Mass Effect 3 are amazing. I usually listen to them with my Turtlebeach headphones, and let me tell you. A bullet wizzing by my head has never sounded more beautiful… Wait, that came out wrong. Every time you fire a gun or dive to dodge a bullet, the sound effects make you feel like you are in the action. Case in point: The Javelin. If you can find this gun (which I’m fairly certain you will be able to), equip it and just listen to it. Every time I shoot that rifle, I get a tingle down my spine.

The music is just as earth-shattering as the sound effects. I can’t help but admire the work of Clint Mansell anymore. Mansell is the dude behind most of the Darren Aronofsky films, most notably “Requiem for a Dream.” He can make amazing music, and I love that BioWare tapped him to compose the soundtrack. It is quite simply music to my ears… God, I hate myself for using that phrase.

Now, with all of that you shouldn’t even be continuing to read this article anymore. I figured by the first paragraph you’d have already gone out and bought the game. No form of media has ever made me more excited, more cold-hearted, more giving, more upset, more emotionally driven than this piece of gold right here. Nothing has ever made me tear up, and then swear at my television two seconds later quite like this. This is gaming encapsulated. I have put myself in the shoes of Shepard. I am Shepard. No video game has ever made me feel the way I feel the way I feel about Mass Effect 3. Go out to your local game store, look around for it and buy it, right there. I can guarantee you that you have never had an experience quite like it. It’s what I’ve been waiting my entire lifetime to say about a game: It is, put simply, a masterpiece.

Rating: Buy it
Final Verdict: Just go. Just play Mass Effect 3.

Though I chose the swashbuckler (Complete Warrior) by chance, I do have some affection for the class. One of my favorite NPCs was a catfolk swashbuckler — who was quickly killed by Incontrol’s character. Consider this sweet, sweet revenge.

So, you’ve decided to play a swashbuckler. Whether it’s because you like pirates, or the word “swashbuckler” just sounds awesome, or you’re just really excited about Fiora, none of that matters. What does matter is this: Does your party stand to face a lot of undead and/or constructs? If the answer is yes, then I’d strongly advise you against taking any of this advice. Well, except that sentence. And that one. And that one. You know what I mean.

When I think of swashbucklers, I think of witty, charismatic combatants, a la Zorro. I’m sure that’s what Wizards had in mind, too, when they designed the class. However, they’re a bit underwhelming in melee, and if you want to focus more on social aspects, your combat prowess is likely to suffer. Or so people think.

Taking a look at the swashbuckler as a melee combatant, two class features in particular stand out: Insightful Strike and Improved Flanking. Almost makes up for your abysmal armor options as a melee combatant. The former adds your intelligence bonus to damage rolls with light weapons, and the latter increases your to-hit flanking bonus by 2. Hm, an ability that does not work against undead or constructs and an ability that makes you more accurate when attacking a flanked opponent. You know what that means? It’s time to SPLASH ROGUE!

No, that's not what I ... oh, whatever.

But we’ve gotta plan things out. We can’t be just diving into rogue levels all willy nilly. Swashbucklers get Weapon Finesse as a bonus feat. They add their intelligence bonus to damage rolls. But in this build, your most important combat stat will likely be charisma. You’re going to be party face and melee DPS. You’re welcome, and your party’s welcome. For more party face goodness, assuming your DM — and you — are OK with your character being a bit skanky, or at least flirtatious, you should ask about using the Wizards-approved Seduction class feature that lets you use your ‘buckler’s charms to sexually attract — and then draw information from — NPCs.

Now, for the completed version of this build, you’re going to want to prioritize charisma, followed by dexterity, constitution, intelligence, strength and wisdom, in that order. At earlier and middle levels (before about level 15), dexterity will be of more importance than charisma in combat.

As you’re starting out as a young, fetching swashbuckler on the go, you’ll want to consider life as a whisper gnome (Races of Stone), if you think you’ll have the charisma to spare. The dexterity and constitution bonuses (not to mention size bonus to armor class) will noticeably improve your survivability — you don’t have access to a lot of armor — and being a gnome also opens up use of the Titan Fighting (Races of Stone) feat, which will do wonders to mitigate your relative lack of defenses. If you’re not going to be a whisper gnome, human is always a good choice.

Another fundamental choice you’re going to have to make is alignment. If you’re evil, you can take an Assassin (Dungeon Master’s Guide) dip later on, bumping your sneak attack by an additional d6. If evil’s not your thing, that’s fine; you can just take an extra level of swashbuckler to beef up on that juicy d10 hit die. The extra level in ‘buckler will also net you an additional +1 dodge bonus (for a total of +2, not counting the feat) and an extra point of base attack bonus.

So, if you’re evil, you’ll be taking nine levels in swashbuckler. If you’re not, or a level in assassin doesn’t appeal to you, go for the full ten in swashbuckler, have a blast. Swing around your rapier, cut your initials in things. You know, live life.

Whoops. Did I say rapier? Well, I mean, you can use a rapier, but if you want to fully realize your potential, I’d advise switching over to dagger(s), punching dagger(s), or kukri(s). I personally prefer the kukri for the larger critical hit range. You may be thinking, “But whyyy can’t I uuuse a rapieeeer?” Well, first off, stop whining like that; it’s annoying. Second off, unwad your panties and I’ll tell you that it’s so you can qualify for Invisible Blade (Complete Warrior) later on. Also, having two hands to fight with is just better. Also also, those weapons still apply Insightful Strike. And besides, you can still cut your initials in things with a kukri, you big baby. Anyway, before we get to those sweet, sweet Invisible Blade levels, it’s time to splash rogue.

You literal bastards. Just because he's doing a jump kick doesn't mean he's ... You know what? No. I won't even dignify this with a response.

I’m thinking five levels in rogue. Yeah, I guess it’s a bit long for a splash, but it provides a solid sneak attack base (+3d6) and, more importantly, Uncanny Dodge. As a low-armor melee combatant with a lot of dodge buffs, the ability to rarely be caught flat-footed is pretty frickin’ helpful. The swashbuckler’s Improved Flanking and free Weapon Finesse make your flank-induced sneak attacks more likely to hit. With those levels taken care of, you can end your rogue splash…

… and continue on to Invisible Blade. There are some skill requirements, but having taken levels in rogue and prioritizing your intelligence attribute, they shouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, you’ll also have to have taken Far Shot, Point Blank Shot, and Weapon Focus (dagger/kukri/punching dagger). While this build isn’t focusing on ranged combat, I suppose those feats couldn’t hurt your secondary weapon choice. Once you take your fifth level of Invisible Blade, you can feint as a free action. Essentially, you get a Bluff check on any attack you want, and if your opponent fails, they’re treated as flat-footed, a.k.a. sneak attack food. This is where all those points in charisma — and, by the way, you should be maxing your Bluff skill — pay off.

God f*cking dammit. I hate you, Pictures Guy.

You may be asking why bother with the ‘buckler levels if the point is to get consistent sneak attack damage out of free-action feints. Well, not every enemy you face will fall for your feints. In fact some — like nonintelligent foes — won’t even be susceptible to them. That’s where your swashbuckler flanking bonus comes in. If you’re flanking an opponent, you’re already getting sneak attack damage. But you have to hit your opponent first, so that little boost to your to-hit rolls during flanking make a difference, more so in earlier levels than after 12. Your class-feature dodge-to-AC and Reflex save bonuses also help make you an effective melee combatant. The d10 hit die and full-progression base attack bonus certainly don’t hurt, either. The Reflex bonus also dovetails nicely with the rogue’s Evasion class ability. These potent combinations work well with the swashbuckler’s free Weapon Finesse to cut down on melee sneak-attackers’ problem with MAD (multiple attribute dependency).

After your five levels in Invisible Blade, your final two levels are really up to you. I find dipping into Assassin and Nightsong Enforcer (Complete Adventurer) for the sneak attack bonus boosts particularly nice, which would bring it to a healthy +8d6 damage on successful sneak attacks.

If you happened to not listen to me and still wanted to play a swashbuckler in an undead-heavy campaign, first off, hey, screw you, too, second off, you could switch to a Swashbuckler 8/Cleric 1/Rogue 3/Invisible Blade 5/Skullclan Hunter 3. You’ll miss out on Evasion, and you’ll have to have put eight ranks into Knowledge (religion), and your sneak attacks will only deal 6d6 bonus damage, but you can deal sneak attack damage to undead. Oh, and you get the benefits of a level 1 cleric, so, uh, I guess that’s something.

This is what happens when you don't listen.

So, to recap, the Card and Dice Preferred Build (TM) for the ‘buckler based party face and melee slasher goes as follows:

Whisper Gnome
Swashbuckler 9/Rogue 5/Invisible Blade 5/Assassin 1 [or Nightsong Enforcer 1]
Feats
1: Dodge
3: Two-Weapon Fighting
6: Far Shot
9: Point Blank Shot
12: Weapon Focus (kukri)
15: Titan Fighting (Races of Stone) [or, if going for Nightsong Enforcer and you’d rather exchange damage for defense, Craven (City of Ruin)]*
18: Improved Initiative [if going for Nightsong Enforcer. Otherwise: Craven]

*Craven adds your character level to your sneak attack damage. That can be pretty serious business.

I didn’t cover magic items or weapons in this guide, because, frankly, those are so subject to DM fiat I feel I wouldn’t be quite useful. My advice? Pick magic kukris that hit hard.

Well, that’s all for this week, folks. Until next time, stay smart, stay safe and, I really mean it, do not play a Truenamer. Even I can’t save that class.

Let’s BEGIN!

Engarde!

Passive: Duelist: Fiora regenerates health over 6 seconds each time she deals damage.  Striking champions will cause this effect to stack up to 4 times.  This passive…oh boy.  This passive.  Yo dawg, we heard you like regrowth pendants, so we gave you a regrowth pendant fo’ free so you could grab a regrowth pendant and have a regrowth pendant so you could regen while you regen….but you won’t.  Because damage is where it’s at with this chick.  Having a regrowth pendant without actually buying one seems a little unfair, though.  Just sayin’ (P.S.-It really is).

Another Fiora skin! Yay!

Q: Lunge: Fiora dashes forward to strike her target, dealing 40/65/90/115/140 (+60% attack damage) physical damage.  Fiora can perform the dash a second time within 4 seconds at no mana cost.  Cost 60 Mana.  Range 600.  This is nice, an AD melee carry with a gap closer.  This is really similar to irelia’s bladesurge, but without the stun.  And you can use this twice.  I’ve found that a really effective way of utilizing the second lunge and gaining the max distance is lunging to a minion first, then tagging the champ.  With Fiora’s next abilities, you’ll deal quite a bit of damage, and just heal off whatever they did to you via your passive.

W: Riposte: Fiora’s Attack Damage is increased. When activated, Fiora parries the next basic attack and reflects magic damage back to the attacker. Works against champions, monsters, and large minions.
Passive: Fiora’s Attack Damage is increased by 15/20/25/30/35.  Active: Fiora parries the next basic attack within 1.5 seconds and reflects 60/110/160/210/260 (+100% ability power) magic damage back to the attacker. Works against champions, monsters, and large minions.  Cost 45 Mana.  Range 20.
This is the ability that makes her pretty cool/dumb/awesome/good.  Passive attack damage on an AD carry?  I’ll take it.  Being able to counter a hard auto attack by, say, Tryn?  Awesome.  And, this is the ability that let’s her jungle.  But, let’s talk about her last ability that will pull all her abilities together to make one stupid carry.

But not before another awesome skin! =D

E: Burst of Speed: Fiora temporarily gains additional Attack Speed. Each basic attack or Lunge she lands during this time increases her Movement Speed. Killing a champion refreshes the cooldown on Burst of Speed.
Fiora gains 60/75/90/105/120% additional Attack Speed for 3 seconds. Each basic attack or Lunge she lands during this time increases her Movement Speed by 7/9/11/13/15% for 3 seconds, stacking up to 3 times.  Killing a champion refreshes the cooldown on Burst of Speed. (Assists reduce the cooldown by half of the base amount.)  Cost 55 Mana.  Range 500.
This ability is haus.  Just…freaking…haus.  Oh, you want yi’s passive?  We’ll give it to you, along with a counter.  You want yi’s ultimate?  Oh, we’ll up the attack speed and lower the duration.  And still let it come off of cooldown when you kill a champ.  That, and for jungling at least, it allows for a much faster clear.  I level this first, and then riposte, but most prefer the damage.

And here's a cute picture of Teemo.

R: Blade Waltz: Fiora dashes around the battlefield to deal physical damage to enemy champions. Successive strikes against the same target deal less damage.  Fiora dashes around the battlefield striking random champions 5 times for 160/330/500 (+120% attack damage) physical damage. Successive strikes against the same target deal 25% damage.  The first and last attack will be against the same target. Each strike applies on-hit effects.  Cost 100 Mana.  Range 400.
This ultimate is insane…the actual ultimate itself/mechanics, the in game animation.  It’s made of pure awesome.  First of all, it’s Yi’s alpha strike, but on so much steroids it’ll make Arnold Schwarzenegger in his hayday look like little anemic kittens.   Huge damage all around, or twice the amount of damage stated on one target.  And it applies on hit effects.  And you can’t be targeted during the process of the pointy, omni-slash dance of death.  And looks boss to boot.

Combine all of these abilities, and you have one potent AD melee carry that puts most of the other AD melee carries to shame.  While I don’t really recommend jungling, she definitely can if you have to.  And I will say (and yes, I’ve done this several times myself) that she has quite an early dragon and a very early baron.  She can even solo baron if need be if she’s slightly fed (which can happen easy enough).  All you really need is a wriggles, bloodthirster, and infinity edge.  Yes, I know that’s quite a bit, but still.  Soloing baron is no easy feat for any champ (well, mostly), and doing it as early as 12 (though I will admit, that was a bot game) with four items is just insane.

Essentially, build her like you would any AD carry.  Except you don’t need phantom dancer.  The movement speed is nice, but you really don’t need anything else.  I mean, if you wanna go overboard and kill stuff, by all means. Do it.  You don’t need my permission, I can imagine it would do well.

And, speaking of imagining things, I’ll now leave you with what I imagine happening to Teemo when I play in the near future…

Le MMO is also acceptable, for all those anal retentive linguists out there. At least Google translate tells me so, and who am I to argue with them? I don’t have a logo or anything to my name. Anyway, the topic of the day is the newly released MMO Wakfu. Figured I’d give my opinion on it so anyone interested can get an idea of what it’s all about. No half-assing this though. I feel I should give a nice thorough article at least once. Next time it’s back to superfluous crap and base humor, I promise.

First and foremost, some background info about the game’s developer and what’s currently going on. The game is currently being distributed by Square Enix, but the actual producers are a company called Ankama. Because our audience is largely American, I’m just going to assume no one has heard of them; as far as I can tell most people get their knowledge of other countries from TV.

International relations as taught in America.

Ankama was founded in 2001 with its subsidiary Ankama Games opening its doors two years later. In the short time they’ve been around they’ve released games, comics, and an animated series, which is also conveniently titled Wakfu. All in all they’ve been fairly successful and one of their previous games, DOFUS (Pronounced Dough-foos), has enjoyed a rather active player base on both sides of the Atlantic. Knowing all this I actually hopped into Wakfu back when it was in closed beta, and let me tell you, it’s been one hell of a ride all the way up to release… But I’m getting ahead of myself again.

Let me break down “The World of 12” for you, starting with the name. There are 12 classes in Wakfu, each gaining their respective powers from one of 12 gods. Wakfu takes place in the same world as DOFUS, just years in the future. There was a flood a la Noah but with fewer giant boats, and now the world is getting back on its feet. That’s where all the players come in. The world went to hell in a hand basket, and now it’s time to restart civilization. In other words, time for money, xenophobia and war. Huzzah!

Now a few things should be noted before continuing. The big thing is that Wakfu is a turn-based tactical mmorpg. It’s a rare breed of game that isn’t for everyone but can be really fun if it’s your thing. Think something akin to Final Fantasy: Tactics. It’s not a perfect parallel but it’s close enough for government work, so if you’re a fan of that type of game play then have I got a game for you. The other big thing is that Ankama love puns. My god do they love puns. Inside jokes too. This will become readily apparent in the class descriptions.

THE CLASSES

These are going to be in alphabetical order and give a brief intro to what each class is and what they do. Also, feel free to enjoy the official artwork. It’s quite pretty.

Cra

If you can’t tell by looking at them, Cras are the archer class. Their deal is long range attacks and battlefield manipulation by way of “beacons” or tiny things that push people around when you hit them. Just like any ranged class, they’re pretty much useless if you manage to get in close to them. But if you play them right, anything will have a hell of a time closing the gap.

The pun: Backwards, Cra is Arc, French for bow.

Ecaflip

The resident cat-people Ecaflips are a chance based class. Specifically their abilities revolve around gambling and have a decent chance to either do jack or wedge your boot firmly in your opponents’ colons. The class also randomly draws a tarot card at the beginning of each round with effects ranging from being reduced to 1 life to a 100% increase in damage for yourself and allies. It’s wacky as hell and has serious potential, so for all those lucky people out there, this may be the class for you.

Pun: Backwards, Ecaflip is similar to the French phrase “Pile ou face” or “Heads or Tails”

Eniripsa

Heals, heals, and more heals, Eniripsas are the primary support class, specializing in healing allies while still being able to do alright damage. There isn’t much more to say. If you like hanging back and making sure everyone survives, well there you go.

Pun: Backwards, Eniripsa is Aspirine, or Aspirin: ye olde headache medication.

Enutrof

To put it bluntly, the loot-whore class. Specializing in the “prospecting” skill and having a passive that helps drop rates, this is the class for all those people who want awesome loot…which is everyone. As a damage dealer they aren’t too shabby, and they scale pretty well. Basically think of them as a secondary support. They do damage, but their real worth is in helping the group get those hard to find items.

Pun: Backwards, Enutrof is Fortune. *Insert crazy prospector laugh here*

Feca

One of the semi-tank classes in the game, Fecas can actually be built in a few ways. While they can be built for damage, they really shine as a tank. From passives that reduce damage to abilities that can stack resistances they can kind of just not care about things hitting them. Again, they also deal a good amount of damage.

Inside Joke: Feca rearranged is Cafe, or coffee. One of the first three classes developed, Ankama decided to name these three after the stuff they ate and drank while working on the game.

Iop

Warriors, in simple terms. They’re the go-to “run my face into the enemy until it dies” class. They’re currently one of the best damage dealers, and while they lack defenses for the most part, the sheer damage output is enough to offset that weakness. For once, a melee class isn’t getting the shaft, so for all those people who like to crack skulls and do it barehanded, this one’s for you.

Inside Joke: Iop, shortened from Yoplait. This, too, is one of the first three classes developed.

Osamodas

For a slightly less close up approach, this class has the wonderful option of taming animals and using them in fights. The ability to spam creatures makes it a surprisingly effective class if only because of the veritable torrent of creatures it can throw out. While it can only have one of each kind of creature, there are more than enough different monsters in the game to make up for this.

Pun: Backwards, Osamodas is Sadomaso or “sadism/masochism” which fits spot on with what they do. If you’re young and impressionable, refrain from Googling that.

Pandawa

See that giant bamboo shoot? Yeah, that’s alcohol pouring out of it. Sweet, sweet alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems… Which actually sums up Pandawas. Get drunk, beat some face, do it again. They’re another brawler class, kind of like the Iop but with less damage and more wacky gimmicks like creating a giant barrel of booze and then being able to teleport to it. Also they can pick up and chuck allies. Good times.

Pun: Short for Panda warrior, and most likely poking fun at the panda brewmaster in Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne.

Sacrier

The tank of tanks, this class is an HP juggernaut. Able to pop around like a mad bastard and still deal decent damage, the Sacrier is a great class. With the ability to switch places with a target, pull things toward them or just spring across the battlefield, their mobility makes them invaluable. Turns out being able to toss yourself in front of enemies is useful as a tank. Their damage also increases as they lose life, so if the job is done right their companions are safe and they’re now powered up and beating face. Fans of brick walls on legs, this is your go-to class. Incidentally, back in DOFUS, that black stuff used to be blood. Yeah, their abilities were powered by their own blood. It was changed to tattoos because the god of Sacriers decided it may not be the best idea to have them all, you know, bleeding out constantly.

Pun: Combining the words “Sacrifice” and “Crier” (not the sad kind) in English, it’s appropriate. Their French name is a tad more bad-ass. “Sacrieur”, a combination of “sacrifice” and “rieur” or “One who laughs.” Meaning they jump into a fight, save their comrades pain, and then laugh at your pitiful attempts to hurt them.

Sadida

Similar to Osomodas in that they’re a summon-based class. The difference is that they don’t tame animals. Instead they bring to life dolls with a variety of abilities. Think “The Puppetmaster”…assuming anyone here even remembers that movie. Regardless, they’re a solid class and there’s a puppet/ability for every occasion. Totems can also be summoned and linked to an enemy like a giant wooden voodoo doll for fun and profit.

Pun: A play on the full name of the Class – Sadida’s Shoes. Flip it and you get Adidas. No real relation to the class; I guess Ankama just loves its footwear.

Sram

Assassins with the ability to go invisible, make a double, and lay traps. They get bonuses from attacking enemies from behind and have a few solid mechanics to do so. They’ve got good damage when attacking from behind and in PvP the invisibility is amazing. PvE they’re still decent; they just rely on other classes to tank a bit, which is to be expected of the squishy DPS class.

Inside joke: Sram is an anagram for Mars (company that produces candy/chocolate). This is another one of those first-three, food-based class names.

Xelor

Pretty frail, what with being mummies and all, Xelors are temporal mages. Their specialty is in lowering initiative and removing AP. In other words, they screw with your bonuses from going fast (initiative) and take away your ability to do things (AP). While damage isn’t too shabby, I think they’ll shine late game when decked out for AP removal. What better way to assure a win than making your opponent just sit there and take it?

Pun: Xelor backwards is Rolex, so you know Xelors are all about the time and money. Bling bling and all that.

Hope this has given a good idea of the World of Twelve and gotten some people interested in the game. In Part 2 I’ll go over the game play, general info and finally what I think about the game as a whole.

Round 1 Against Kyle with Affinity:

Whether or not he remembered it, I’ve actually known Kyle for a long time. He used to work at the game shop where I learned to play Magic “for real.” Where I learned that my mono-green Thorn Elemental deck couldn’t stand up against U/G Madness and Cunning Wake for reasons other than “I was mana screwed.” Kyle was the guy who built my first competitive deck. Needless to say, I was shaking in my boots.

Game 1: Kyle gets the typical Affinity start of Bad Guy, Bad Guy, Vault Skirge or something like that. I’m able to hold off the board with Squadron Hawks into Moorland Haunt tokens, trading when applicable and chumping when not. Keeping up is NOT easy. I’m forced to Snapcaster Mage twice at end of turn, flashing back absolutely nothing, just to keep warm bodies on the field. I live long enough to play EOT Snapcaster, untap, play and equip Feast and Famine and swing. For one of the few times that tournament, I’d get to take advantage of the Feast mana, adding a Geist of Saint Traft to my board. Kitchen Finks would come down a turn later to keep me just out of Galvanic Blast range, and I’d ride fleeting white Angel tokens to victory.

Game 2: I’m feeling a little more relaxed as Kyle labors over his keep. As he shuffles he complains about not having seen a Cranial Plating or a Ravager at all the previous game, and I can tell that he’s weighing keeping a less explosive hand with Plating over the need for a faster start. Eventually he elects to keep, and I look at my hand. I see three lands, Mana Leak, Mana Tithe, Hurkyl’s Recall and Spellskite. Not too shabby. I elect to keep and Kyle plays Darksteel Citadel…then passes. I struggle to keep my poker face. This is it. I’ve got the win right here so long as I don’t punt or make any serious mistakes. His Plating-empowered draw takes a few turns to get out of the gate, and I get to make him pay life for Vault Skirge twice by Recalling his field. Invisible Stalker with War and Peace makes it elementary after that.

Games: 2-0

Rounds: 1-0

Round 2 Against Jon with Tron:

I know, right? Seriously. That was his name, and that was his deck. TheScourge has been warning me all week what a house this deck is, so even with the rush of a first round win under my belt, I’m leery as I shuffle up for this one.

Game 1: I can summarize the first game like this, without sacrificing any relevant data;

Turn 3: I Geist of Saint Traft.

Turn 4,5,6,7: Hit you with Geist. Opponent concedes.

Oh, and at some point I counter an Iona.

Game 2: Needless to say, the jitters are gone. Although they’ve been replaced by the gut-wrenching excitement that comes with the thought of being up 2-0 for the first time ever at an event of this magnitude. Then I mulligan to 4. On my way down to 4 I have to pass up a hand with Geist + Sword. I hatehatehate doing that. As a testiment to Invisiblade’s pure scrappiness, I draw the game out to like ten turns, but come on. Four cards.

Game 3: The openers are always the same. I counter a spell or two early game trying to disrupt his development, but the Tron deck has a certain admirable level of inevitability that only the Gifts engine can bring. His first real action is Gifts for Gifts, Wurmcoil Engine, Elesh Norn and Unburial Rites. I make a mistake. I’m holding multiple Phantasmal Images and Path to Exile, as well as Mana Tithe. I should play it safe, Path his Wurmcoil and hold up Image for the inevitable Elesh Norn’ing. But I decide to go for the throat, casting double Phantasmal Image before attempting to Path his Wurm and catching a Dispel. To be fair, it would be the first and last time I’d see any countermagic out of Jon’s deck. He gets to keep his Wurm and it becomes an 8/8, while mine become 4/4s, when the Norn hits the field. Turns out he has more big guys than I do, and I’m forced to pack it in.

Round 3 Against Anonymous with Affinity:

I’m actually excited to see this deck again. Who would have thought? There isn’t actually any particularly relevant information to be gleaned from this match. The guy had a bunch of basic land and no real potential for explosion, so I’m convinced his list was not so good.

Round 4 Against Anonymous with Fauna Fishing:

This is probably the coolest rogue deck I saw all day. It was kind of like a Pod deck without the Pod, instead relying on Fauna Shaman to hunt for Myr Superion and an assortment of awesome guys like Geist of Saint Traft and Skaab Ruinator.

Game 1: ‘Fishing starts out with Forest into Aether Vial, and after my land drop he Vials out Dryad Arbor. Wow. Did NOT see that coming. Awesome play. Over the next few turns he adds Birds of Paradise and Myr Superion. Fauna Shaman follows and starts tutoring up more Superions, and with no Path to Exile I’m quickly overwhelmed.

Game 2: My strategy here is to go up to maximum Phantasmal Images and Oblivion Rings and just pray for the best. I’m able to copy a Superion early and try to stabilize, but he follows up with another. At the end of my turn he Vial’s out a Geist. That’s the game.

So that’s that. With no shot at Top 8 contention and a prize pool not going any deeper than 8 places, I decided to cut my losses and go get subs with Scourge before trekking back home.

Overall, it wasn’t a total loss. It was nice to be reminded that I can be a halfway decent pilot when a halfway decent deck is put in my hands. Also, it was great to learn that there’s a deck out there that can pretty reliably beat Modern Affinity.

Thanks for bearing with me on this one. Next week I’ll talk about my exploits to build the lulziest Standard deck I possibly can. Peace, gamers!

Sooo, I’ll admit: when Nautilus came out, I thought he was pretty neat.  Nothing special, but kinda neat.  I wasn’t sure where he would fit on a team, and (as usual), I wondered if he could jungle.  Well, a lot of players try to fit him in as a tank, or even as a solo top…and yes, he can jungle.  Decently fast, but nothing astonishing, but I’ll get to all that later.  Right now, I’m sure you’re itching to know what he does.  If not, well, you’re gonna get to know anyways.  So there.  Mleh.

Passive: Staggering Blow: Nautilus’ first basic attack against a target deals bonus physical damage and immobilizes the opponent briefly. Staggering Blow cannot trigger on the same target more than once every 12 seconds.

Well, I’d say that’s pretty useful.  Get into teamfight, swing wildly, snare E’RRYBODY!  Okay, maybe not, but that’s seems like a powerful passive to me.  Let’s see what else this big guy’s got to offer.

Q: Dredge Line: Nautilus hurls his anchor forward. If it hits an enemy unit, Nautilus drags himself and the target together dealing 80/120/160/200/240 (+75% of ability power) magic damage and stunning them briefly.  If the anchor hits terrain, Nautilus will drag himself forward and the cooldown is reduced by 50% (7/6.5/6/5.5/5).  Cost: 60/70/80/90/100 mana.  Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 seconds.  Range: 950.

Essentially, it’s a blitz grab, except it moves you and the target.  And it can latch on to terrain for some awesome initiations or escapes.  Sounds cool to me.  Grab a target, snare them in place, watch team obliterate.  Alright, so far he seems pretty cool.  Moving on…

W: Titan’s Wrath: Nautilus surrounds himself with dark energies, shielding him from the next 80/130/180/230/280 plus 10% of his bonus health (+10% of bonus health) damage for up to 10 seconds. While the shield persists, Nautilus’ basic attacks apply a damage over time effect to all units around his target. The effect deals 30/60/90/120/150 (+40% of ability power) magic damage over 2 seconds.  Cost: 80 mana.  Cooldown: 26/24/22/20/18 seconds.  Range: 350.

Not sure how well you can see the picture, but his anchor is red and he has little faceplates floating around him.  That’s the shield.  And honestly, this is a pretty big ability for Nautilus.  His health scaling is pretty decent, and 10% of his health can be quite a bit.  Not just that, but that passive actually allows him to help push the lane, not to mention actually deal some decent damage to the target.  Not much, mind you, but most likely enough to get your intended target really hurting for your carry to finish off.  Thus far, we’ve got a champ who can initiate against a single target extremely well, snare them in place, and protect himself.  Overall, good abilities.  Going on…

E: Riptide: Nautilus slams the ground, causing the earth to explode around him. Each explosion deals 60/100/140/180/220 (+50% of ability power) magic damage to units in the area and slows them by 30/35/40/45/50% for 2 seconds. This slow diminishes over time. A unit can be hit by more than one explosion, but they take 50% less damage from additional explosions.  Cost: 60/70/80/90/100.  Cooldown: 10 seconds.  Range: 400.

Area of effect slow that can stack (particularly against running enemies), and his highest damage dealing ability aside from his ult.  Good stuff.  Now we’ve got a champ that can pull a dude in, snare him, protect himself, AND slow the target?  Sounds like a great champ to me, chock full of CC.  Sounds like a decent support.  Oh, we haven’t discussed his ultimate.  Well, let’s do that now.

R: Depth Charge: Nautilus fires a shockwave that chases an enemy champion. This deals 125/175/225 (+40% of ability power) magic damage to enemies it passes through and knocks them into the air. The shockwave explodes upon hitting its target dealing 250/350/450 (+80% of ability power) magic damage, launching them into the air and stunning them for 1/1.5/2 seconds.  Cost: 100 mana.  Cooldown: 120/100/80 seconds.  Range: 825.

So now he’s a champ that can snare a guy every 12 seconds AND pop up the entire opposing team if done right?  Huh.  Greatest support champ EVAR.

But seriously, let’s get into the nuts and bolts of Nautilus.  I’ll admit, I wasn’t really feeling too much into this champ, but I’ve been reading up on how others have been playing him lately, all for you guys (awww, aren’t I great?  Oh you shut up.  Yeah, you in the back.  With the face.  I see you back there…).  Seems like everyone likes taking him tank.  Which I don’t find too bad.  Good initiator, has a shield based off of health, his AP ratios aren’t great for damage dealing, and can peel opposing carries off your carry?  I can definitely see this guy going 0/21/9.

But, I found an article on Solomid.net that says otherwise.  Yup, they want him to go support.  Which, I can also see doing very well.  He’s kind of like a blitz support, which goes GREAT with carries.  However, this guy brought up some math (which I’m glad he found…I wouldn’t have mentioned it at all): Nautilus’ mana regeneration is through the roof.  Yup, you heard it right: He can spam his abilities from here to kingdom come with the right build (here, let me get this out of the way, here’s the article I’m referencing: http://www.solomid.net/guides.php?g=17737).  And I quote: “What’s great about Nautilus is that he has 7.45 (+0.7) mana regen on base +3 from faerie charm,  also another +3 from masteries. (For all of you lazy people that’s 13.45 mana regen/5 at level 1) Not only does he have the best base mana regen, but, he also has the best scaling mana regen. This allows him to literally spam Q and E.” Mind you, this guy is going 0/9/21, and is going full support.  But, with stats and CC like that, why not?  Go ahead and take a look at the guide, it’s pretty good.

So, whether you want to take this guy as a tank, a tanky support jungle, or a pure support bottom lane, I’m sure you’ll find him pretty fun.  Oh, and he swims. Which is pretty awesome ;p.

I’ll probably run this report in two pieces just to save your precious attention spans. This section will be all about the deck I chose to play and why I made the decisions I made, and the next section will be about what decks I faced and how well I did, what I would have done differently, etc.

After collaborating with some of my colleagues, including The Community’s very own Scourge, here’s what we came up with:

Gatherer Link (for convenient card searching)

Invisiblade

PTQ Barcelona, Rochester, NY

Cards (60)

Lands: 22

4x Seachrome Coast

4x Glacial Fortress

2x Moorland Haunt

7x Island

4x Plains

1x Pendelhaven

Creatures: 18

1x Dungeon Geist

3x Geist of Saint Traft

4x Squadron Hawk

3x Invisible Stalker

3x Kitchen Finks

4x Snapcaster Mage

Spells: 20

4x Mana Leak

2x Dissipate

2x Mana Tithe

1x Sword of Feast and Famine

1x Sword of War and Peace

1x Sword of Fire and Ice

4x Path to Exile

4x Gitaxian Probe

1x Elspeth, Knight Errant

Sideboard: 15

1x Sword of Feast and Famine

1x Sword of War and Peace

1x Sword of Light and Shadow

1x Batterskull

1x Hurkyl’s Recall

1x Spellskite

1x Angelic Destiny

1x Kitchen Finks

1x Invisible Stalker

3x Oblivion Ring

3x Phantasmal Image

So like I said, the whole decision to go to the PTQ came about because a buddy decided to lend me his U/W Spirit Delver from Standard. After playing around with the deck a little, I decided that the token plan was just way too slow for a format dominated by ‘Tron and Affinity. Having Drogskol Captain in play with some Lingering Souls hanging around seems pretty good, the only problem is that windmilling either card into play alone on turn 3 was just awful. And even against Modern variants like American Delver, you’ll probably be put in the situation where you HAVE to block the turn after you play either card, or risk falling too low to go on the offensive anyway.

Then I came upon the StarCityGames Caw-Blade list by Ahubbard from the MtGO PTQ.

I was surprised, after getting stomped so hard, at how similar this looked to my build. So, I decided to do my best to replicate it. I labored over the decision to run Squadron Hawks over Delvers, but the bottom line was that the Hawks, while only marginally better, were consistently better. They let you set up your endgame, which is effectively “Evasion Guy + Random Sword”, by giving you 4 guys to chump with. Likewise, Kitchen Finks lets you stay on the longevity plan with a fairly stable frame for blocking and a little bit of lifegain to help reverse any early clocking your opponent does. Path to Exile was an obvious choice over softer answers to creature threats such as Vapor Snag.

But that’s all elementary stuff. Let’s get to some of the more interesting choices:

Mana Tithe – Quite frankly, having started playing the game as 7^th edition was dropping, I can’t believe this card doesn’t see more play. It’s a freaking Force Spike, in a color you wouldn’t expect to get Force Spiked out of! Basically, I knew that I was going to have to control the game until I could get a Hawk or a Stalker down with a sword on it, and the potential Mana Tithe opener locked up another turn for me where I could just play Draw-Go instead of worrying about matching threats once they hit the board. Also, the sheer lack of this card in the format let me walk a few players into incredibly bad plays simply because they had no idea it was coming.

Geist of Saint Traft – A lot of the Caw-Blade lists I’ve seen run Vendillion Clique in this spot, but I was anticipating a LOT of Affinity. I hadn’t done much relevant testing, but Clique just felt terrible to me against Affinity. It’s a small body, and the ability to strip a card is irrelevant in the mid to late game unless the Affinity player hasn’t exploded yet, which means they’re probably already losing anyway. Also, the redundancy of Affinity’s threats means the replacement card might be just as good or better than the card you strip, in a lot of cases. My plan was to out-aggro the aggro by chumping with Hawks and then running out a Geist for the win. Geist, as it turns out, is a lot spicier than Clique during the attack step.

Pendelhaven – With a LOT of offensive 1/1’s in the deck, ‘Haven was worth its weight in gold. Again, this was especially true against Affinity. As it turns out, while Hawks make themselves useful chumping big offensive threats, they’re even better when they can trade with those threats. With a ‘Haven in play? You’re actually winning the combats. Unless they can stick a plating on something and out-evade you, they don’t last long like that.

As for the sideboard, if any of the choices are mystifying you, it’s probably because they’re just there out of a lack of cash. That’s the case with Stalker and Finks and Destiny. The O-Rings and Phantasmal images were there to help out against Pod and Tron. I thought the Tron matchup was effectively a race, a race that would be much easier won with a “Destroy target Elesh Norn” card in your hand. Spellskite, Hurkyl’s Recall and Batterskull were there to help against Affinity. I would have had more Hurkyl’s Recall in a perfect world, for the fairly obvious and fairly heinous atrocities it commits against Affinity decks. The only thing I would definitely have added if given the chance would be 3 Dispels. I think I lost my ‘Tron matchup because I severely underrated how important it is to counter Gifts Ungiven. Adding Dispel in place of the honestly quite dead Mana Tithe (In this matchup, at least) would have helped me turn the corner in that regard.

That’s all for the deck breakdown. Keep on the lookout for my next update, in which I’ll talk about the actual games I played, individual plays both good and bad, and how I feel about the format in general.

Since this just got announced yesterday, I just HAD to put my two cents in about how I am going to joy puke my face off for Borderlands 2. Coming from someone who enjoyed giving Gearbox his $100 for Duke Nukem Forever (Balls of Steel Edition) it comes as no shock that I’m stoked for Borderlands 2. But before I get into why I’m excited about Borderlands 2, let me give a little detail on why I feel massively more interested from just seeing the new trailer.

Man...I wish that was real...

I’ve definitely got a complaint about the lack of variety when it comes to enemies. There are skags, psychos, midget psychos, bruisers, etc. And they had “badass” versions of themselves (man what is it with me and the word badass lately?). And they were all fun, even goofy at times, especially when you blew their bodies to bits. But Borderlands was marketed as a HUGE RPG/FPS hybrid. I don’t know if I’m the only one, but I felt that Borderlands lacked in its enemies department for a game claiming to be an RPG. And sure the four DLC Expansion packs helped but not enough for me to really enjoy Borderlands to the fullest.

Brown...and gray...Dullfest...

However, one of the biggest complaints I’ve heard about the original Borderlands was about the graphics, and that was rightfully so. The game was cell-shaded, which is good. Cell shading definitely belongs in the world of video games, but if you’re going to use it, use it correctly. Gearbox was a bit color-blind (in the literal sense) when they were making Borderlands, because it was a barren wasteland, with no color … but it was cell-shaded. That’s truthfully the only thing that REALLY irked me about Borderlands. It’s just my opinion. I know tons of people who absolutely LOVED Borderlands, and I was right there with them. Those were just my two biggest beefs. Now, lets shift our focus from the negative to the positive.

Borderlands 2 originally leaked (accidentally) by Randy Pitchford at Gearbox Community Day in Dallas Texas. It was then officially revealed on August 2, 2011. For those unfamiliar with Borderlands, you pick from four different character classes — this time around four new characters — and you start your adventure in Pandora. The new characters are Salvator, Maya, Axton and Zero. There are similarities to characters from the previous title, but the only one that I can’t seem to place is Zero. However, when the time comes for me to strap in, he will be my first character to play through.

Zero...What did I say about stabbing people in the dick?!

Why you ask? Well if cutting a robot in half with a sword and then stabbing a man with said sword in the dick isn’t awesome, then I don’t know what is. One other nifty thing about Borderlands 2 that I find delightful is that the previous characters: Roland, Lillith, Brick, and Mordecai, will all be included in this installment as NPCs. We found this out around Gamescom when roughly 14 minutes of leaked gameplay footage was shown for Borderlands 2.

I'll cut off every robot limb!

The graphics and the new enemies are also looking awesome. Yeah, the article is coming full circle now. The graphics look to be very vibrant and colorful. If you’ve read previous articles and reviews of mine, you know that I am a huge supporter of color in video games. Sure, I like playing some Call of Duty or Gears of War now and then, but I’m all about using everything that is given to you. Randy Pitchford actually joked in the aforementioned leaked footage saying that his developers “found out what a color palette is,” which I find to be hysterical. The graphics look more like a colorful world that I am dying to explore, rather than just a desolate wasteland. The aesthetic choice is brilliant for Borderlands 2 and I think they’re going to capture it to a tee.

The new enemies also look quite badass. If you watch the newest Borderlands 2 trailer (which I conveniently added into this article. How ‘bout that?) you notice that there are what looks to be some new robot enemies, as well as giant worms, some sort of arctic enemy and a giant cloaked guy, annnnd … some other things I’m really just speculating about. They all look like they’re going to be so fun to kill. To help you out, they’ve given us a whole new talent tree with a bunch of new choices to create the ultimate killing machine.

Pay thine bills

Speaking of new things, there are also what look to be new aerial vehicles and a new four-seater truck: one person drives, one mans the turret and the others ask if they’re there yet. I’m just looking at all of this new content and I realize my excitement is at critical mass. Then in the beginning of the trailer, I remember it reads “87 bazillion guns, just got bazillionder.” So I’ve been given a gun that shoots incendiary bullets, one that shoots lightning, and guns that are affected by gravity and create a mushroom cloud when they hit. And you tell me I’m going to get even more than that?!   I cannot believe I didn’t put this game on my Top Ten Anticipated Games list. I feel I have very good reason to have done so.

I'll hold your head in my hand...

Borderlands 2 looks even more promising than its predecessor. With more guns, more enemies, prettier graphics and new characters and a (what seems to me) revamped Pandora, things are only looking up for Gearbox and Borderlands. The series is a blend of action, RPG, a little bit of sci-fi and a whole lot of goofy, and it definitely doesn’t hide it. Borderlands 2 knows exactly what it wants to be, and I believe it will end up being just that and much more … with 96.5% more WUB WUB.