WHAT: The Hamilton Behind the Camera Awards celebrates creative excellence in filmmaking by paying tribute to a select group of behind-the-scenes artists whose work significantly enhances the quality of a motion picture and to the lasting impression it has on movie audiences.  In honoring such highly talented individuals, Hamilton and Movieline.com recognize their creative brilliance and ability to consistently enhance the movie-going experience for audiences around the world.

Honorees include Director Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker; Producer Lawrence Bender, Inglourious Basterds; Screenwriters Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber, 500 Days of Summer; Production Designer John Myhre, Nine; Cinematographer Christian Berger, The White Ribbon; Film Editor Dana E. Glauberman, Up in the Air; Costume Designer Ann Roth, Julie & Julia; Property Master Drew Petrotta, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Stunt Choreographer Garrett Warren, Avatar, A Christmas Carol; Special Visual Effects Susan MacLeod, The Twilight Saga: New Moon; Lifetime Achievement Award Sally Menke, film editor.

WHO: Confirmed Celebrities:  Zooey Deschanel, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jason Bateman, Nikki Reed, Diane Kruger, Anna Kendrick, Zoe Saldana, Bill Paxton, and many more

I’m sure the confirmed celebs are the ones presenting the awards. Anyway, last year was a good time so I expect tonight will be the same. I’ll let you all know how it goes.

Brothers and Sisters’ Gilles Marini attended with his daughter Juliana. Entourage’s Perrey Reeves was also spotted on Thursday trying on the new ASICS Hello Kitty collaboration sneakers. Scrubs’ Judy Reyes reported showed up at the wrong place, but finally made it after getting the right directions. The first time mom, 42, is expecting a baby girl at the beginning of December!

Gilles Marini

Judy Reyes

Taryn Manning celebrated her 31^st birthday with a glass of champagne at the ASICS Hello Kitty Lounge.  She picked up the black and gold collaboration sneakers – the best looking ones in my opinion – from ASICS and Hello Kitty and passed the time with two friends. They eventually meandered over to DJ Cobra and played around.

Taryn Manning

Vampire Diaries’ Kayla Ewell made an appearance at the ASICS Hello Kitty Lounge with a girlfriend to pick up new sneakers. The Game’s Stacey Dash also stopped by to pick up the new collaboration sneakers for herself and her son!

Stacey Dash

Fame’s Asher Book showed up with his bandmates from V Factory. Book loved the new ASICS Hello Kitty sneakers so much he got a pair of women’s shoes just so they would have Hello Kitty on them. You can get away with doing that when you’re a celebrity. Robert LaSardo was also seen trying on new shoes. I swear I’ve seen him at some screenings I go to. He usually has his tattoos covered up so I’m never quite sure. Next time I see him I’ll ask him.

Asher Book

Robert LaSardo

A few notable no-shows were Vanessa Minnillo who couldn’t make it to the ASICS Hello Kitty Lounge on Thursday because of scheduling conflicts, Ashley Tisdale, Jessica Lowndes, Jamie Lynn Sigler, and Carrie Ann Inaba. They still got their shoes, though.

Decompression

A friend of mine, Mr. Glass, tells me that it’s good to make time and relax – that I need this time to decompress. Maybe he’s right, but I have to disagree on principle. First, I have to make up for lost time. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been precocious. Moreover, I was advanced for my age without having to try. I simply excelled. I got waylaid after high school with depression and other ridiculous circumstances and anesthetized myself with video games. So now that my life is back on track and moving along quite nicely, I don’t want to squander this momentum. I figure that this is the time to work my fingers to the bone while I still have the energy and youthful foolishness to do it. When I’ve finally achieved my career goal then I can sit back and waste time relaxing. Secondly, while I can’t give you any solid examples, I think other people around me are working just as hard and sacrificing just as much to follow their dreams. If they can do it, so can I.

That’s not to say that I don’t take breaks. I still take the time to distract my mind with short video game sessions. Luckily, my newfound work ethic seems to be making core changes in my life, because I find that guilt is preventing my gaming from turning into a marathon. This is good. As I told Mr. Glass the other night, what I really need to do is find a way to be recharged by accomplishment. Finishing an article and seeing it published should be the thing that decompresses me. In this manner, I’ll become a human perpetual motion machine. Regrettably, I’m still a ways off from that goal.

At the Mercy of Mechanics

I got my PT Cruiser back in 2004 as a college graduation gift. Before that, I was driving a 10-year-old E190 Mercedes Benz with leather seats and no air conditioning. It only ran on the highest octane gasoline and vital parts would malfunction one by one like organ failure. When I looked into replacing the cracked plastic casing of a headlight, I was quoted $500 or something absurd, because it was a unique Mercedes Benz part, handcrafted by buxom, teenage German girls who molded the plastic with their cleavage. You can imagine how much it cost me to replace the radiator and two fuel pumps, which is partly why I’m in so much debt today. Before I finally got my Cruiser, the rubber housing that kept the driveshaft of the E190 in place had disintegrated, causing the shaft to smack into the underside of the car with each (now) elliptical rotation. Before the Benz, I drove a 10-year-old Toyota Camry, which was also falling apart, but at least was reasonable to repair.

The very night I graduated college.

So when I got the Cruiser I promised myself that I would take good care of it since it was my first brand new car. I kept up with my oil changes, did routine repairs and got my car washed and cleaned frequently enough to preserve the “new car” smell for years. In the past couple of years, I’ve been taking my car to my local chain service center. I’ve never had an issue with them despite the numerous service requests and from what I could tell – mind you, I don’t know anything about cars – it seemed like they were treating me fairly and looking out for my best interests. That probably sounds terribly naïve, but I’ll just have to accept that since I have no rebuttal. In any event, I had an issue come up during my last oil change at this place – a stripped oil pan gasket or a stripped oil pan; I can’t remember how the guy phrased it to me. It turns out that the threads that hold the plug that keeps the engine oil from draining out got stripped. The car wasn’t drivable. I asked the guy if this damage would have happened if I hadn’t taken it in and he said no, but it would have happened the next time I got an oil change anywhere. As far as I know, threads don’t get stripped by themselves. Either someone is putting a part in crookedly or they’re over tightening something. The guy told me that this was a common failing on this part on Chryslers. Total cost to replace the part was about $350.

I hate these kinds of situations, because I really don’t know what’s best for me. If I tell the guy not to do the repair I have to find another garage, hire a tow truck, pay for the repair anyway, organize transportation and then sue the first shop. Let’s say I did all that and took them to court. Sure, it sounds like common sense that parts only get stripped by human error, but what if they’re able to prove a history of “thread failure” or whatever just as they told me. Or what if there’s something else I’m totally not considering? Then not only am I out the money anyway, I’ve also wasted a ton of time and energy. So I just paid for the repair. I have to admit that I’m not feeling very secure with my manhood, having succumb to all of my excuses instead of challenging them, especially since I had a “check engine light” scare a couple of days after the repair. Thankfully, it went away after two days, but it certainly highlighted a very weak spot in my role as a man in society, which is knowledge of car mechanics. So I’ve made up my mind to learn engines. That way I can strip my own oil can gaskets.

So Long Cloves

On September 22 of this year some legislation went into effect that banned the sale of clove cigarettes. Cloves differentiated themselves from regular cigarettes by adding clove spice to the tobacco, which offered a sweet flavor to the smoke and a satisfying crackle to each drag. I loved smoking cloves because of their rich flavor, which was a pleasant alternative to plain cigarettes’ acrid taste. Now cloves are gone and it’s hard to deny this feeling of unfair loss in their absence. The reason for banning cloves is silly to me.

From the FDA

“Almost 90 percent of adult smokers start smoking as teenagers. These flavored cigarettes are a gateway for many children and young adults to become regular smokers,” said FDA Commissioner Margaret A. Hamburg, M.D. “The FDA will utilize regulatory authority to reduce the burden of illness and death caused by tobacco products to enhance our Nation’s public health.” (Read the full press release)

For when you need a cigarette that matches your club outfit.

See, when I read that I can’t help but feel like the government is simply paying the anti-smoking movement lip service while still enjoying the revenue that cigarette taxes bring in. Why simply “reduce the burden of illness and death caused by tobacco products” when the government can eliminate it by banning tobacco products outright? Then, of course, there’s alcohol. Flavored cigarettes are no good, gateways while flavored drinks, like wine coolers, are no problem. How is that fair?

Nat Sherman Classic Mints no longer!

What it seems to me is that the government took a look at tobacco sales and picked the smallest product that would affect taxable sales and banned it in a show of progressivism for a cleaner America. In response to the legislation, Djarum – a clove cigarette manufacturer – released its new line of clove cigars, which are different enough from clove cigarettes to go around the legislation, but not so different that the majority of clove smokers can’t adjust to the flavor. Also, Nat Sherman – my personal brand of cigarettes – has renamed their Classic Mint line to menthol, just in case. For my part, I’m still stewing over the loss of true clove cigarettes just to satisfy political agendas.

On a side note, my favorite brand of clove cigarettes was Sampoerna Xtras. Apparently, their sale in the US was discontinued sometime in 2005 after Phillip-Morris bought them out. If you have ever enjoyed clove cigarettes and you can find Sampoerna Xtras, get them. They’re the best cloves you’ll ever smoke. If you do find them, tell me where and how I can, too.

The Wolfman is also written by competent writers. Andrew Kevin Walker penned Se7en and David Self wrote the screenplay for Road to Perdition. Both of those films are in my favorites list. I’m not too familiar with director Joe Johnston’s work. I did watch Hidalgo and enjoyed myself. I also liked The Rocketeer, but I think that might have been more because of Jennifer Connelly. In any event, Johnston looks like he’s captured the necessary visual style for The Wolfman so his history doesn’t look like it will affect audience’s enjoyment this time around.

From the Official Synopsis:

Inspired by the classic Universal film that launched a legacy of horror, The Wolfman brings the myth of a cursed man back to its iconic origins.  Oscar® winner Benicio Del Toro stars as Lawrence Talbot, a haunted nobleman lured back to his family estate after his brother vanishes.  Reunited with his estranged father (Oscar® winner Anthony Hopkins), Talbot sets out to find his brother…and discovers a horrifying destiny for himself.

Lawrence Talbot’s childhood ended the night his mother died.  After he left the sleepy Victorian hamlet of Blackmoor, he spent decades recovering and trying to forget.  But when his brother’s fiancée, Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt), tracks him down to help find her missing love, Talbot returns home to join the search.  He learns that something with brute strength and insatiable bloodlust has been killing the villagers, and that a suspicious Scotland Yard inspector named Aberline (Hugo Weaving) has come to investigate.

As he pieces together the gory puzzle, he hears of an ancient curse that turns the afflicted into werewolves when the moon is full.  Now, if he has any chance at ending the slaughter and protecting the woman he has grown to love, Talbot must destroy the vicious creature in the woods surrounding Blackmoor.  But as he hunts for the nightmarish beast, a simple man with a tortured past will uncover a primal side to himself…one he never imagined existed.

Production Stills

Visually, everything looks pitch-perfect. The green screen work is serviceable and the creature effects are stunning. Look for The Wolfman in theaters on February 12, 2010.

The core gameplay of Naruto is, of course, the fighting. Anyone who’s played a fighting game in the last decade will instantly feel at home with the controls. Players move the fighters with the directional pad. Moving left and right approaches or retreats from opponents while pressing up or down sidesteps into the background or foreground respectively, similar to Tekken. Jumping is handled by the X button and blocking is performed by pressing the right shoulder button. Fighters have access to strong attacks and weak attacks as well as special signature Jutsu attacks that can be unleashed with enough Chakra that builds up overtime during bouts. Alternatively, pressing the left shoulder button uses Chakra to teleport behind your enemy. With the right, properly timed button presses, you can create devastating combinations that juggle your opponent. Also, as a twist on conventional fighting games, fighters have access to items they pick up in Story Mode or are randomly assigned as in the Singleplayer Mode. The items have different abilities, like increased damage or health boosts that can be used to alter the outcome of fights. Simply tapping the icon on the touchscreen will activate the item.

"Here comes the big one!"

The fights are typically straightforward and don’t last very long. Furthermore, there aren’t that many combos to create and you’ll often see the CPU fighters performing the same move over and over again, telegraphing when you should counterattack. The CPU, however, is hardly a pushover. It will deftly block your combinations and exploit the holes in your defenses. Then, just when you think you have the advantage, the CPU will land a Jutsu move that lays you out.

The Jutsu attacks are a welcome change of pace to the fights. When you or your opponent lands this attack, the fight becomes an in-game cinematic as the attacker performs his or her signature move from the anime. For instance, Naruto creates a mirror image of himself and the two of them pummel the opponent together. Each Jutsu takes a few seconds to complete, but don’t happen often enough to slow down the pace of the fights.

Naruto offers several ways to enjoy the game. Singleplayer lets you fight the CPU or a live opponent via wireless connection one-on-one, letting you choose from 34 fighters. Alternatively, you can play Survival Mode which pits your fighter against other fighters consecutively until your health meter is fully depleted. Finally, there’s Story Mode, which has the player predominantly controlling Naruto as he navigates mazes and fights random enemies as well as boss encounters. Occasionally, the player will have to control one of Naruto’s allies for story purposes.

The story will probably be incomprehensible to anyone who isn’t a fan of the anime. There are just too many names and words that are specific to the show that aren’t explained in the game to newcomers. Furthermore, the storytelling is subpar. The plot unfolds for players via anime stills, but there aren’t enough to really show what’s going on, so most of the action is simply described via text or in dialogue. So when something exciting happens, like an ambush, the game simply tells you that so and so survived or got away while you simply read and press a button for the next batch of text.

The anime stills and the menu look fantastic and are dripping with style. Naruto Shippuden: Ninja Destiny 2 truly captures the artistry of its anime namesake. The in-game graphics are a different story. While they get the job done, the character models are blocky and the arenas are flat and boring. Still, they’re not so bad that they offend the eyes. The biggest disappoint is the instruction manual. It only gives you the bare-minimum of information without offering any insight into the story of the game or how to pull off any of the fighters’ moves. Newcomers will no doubt be perplexed by the plot and grow frustrated with dying over and over again.

Thankfully, the learning curve isn’t very steep. Once you get the hang of the fighting mechanics and simply go with the flow of the story, you’ll discover that this game can be a decent amount of fun for all ages. If you’re looking for a fighting game to satisfy your brawler appetite, Naruto Shippuden: Ninja Destiny 2 is a worthy choice.

I think I was six or seven when I went out on my first real Halloween trick or treat. Sure, I experienced Halloween even younger than that, but it was in the controlled space of kindergarten classrooms and we only got candy from a handful of staff. It wasn’t the same as the real deal. On the other hand, it didn’t matter since I had nothing to compare it to. Anyway, there I was – six or seven – and it was Halloween night, but I was too young to go out by myself and my parents weren’t the type to escort me door to door. Luckily for me, however, I had an older brother.

Somewhere along the line, I believe he needed to dress up as a magician for some school event. That meant we had an old cape lying around that I would wear and imagine myself as a superhero or a vampire or really anything that required a cape. I just so happened to be wearing the cape when someone suggested that my brother take me along when he went trick or treating. Not only was this going to be my first real Halloween, but I think it also marked the beginning of the hell my brother would go through having to drag me along wherever he went – just for the record, those times weren’t that fun for me either. Regardless, my first Halloween was everything I thought it’d be and watching my little pumpkin-shaped bucket with its cheap black handle fill with sweets that I did nothing to earn was an amazing experience to behold.

On a side note, trick or treating at the mall sucks. Sure, you get the full-size name candy, but you also get far less candy overall.

In the third grade, I went to school as a mummy. I have no idea why I thought that would make a good costume. I just remember shopping with my mother a couple of nights before Halloween and seeing a mummy costume hanging from the rafters and I decided that was it for me. Maybe I just liked the idea of having my face covered like a ninja. Anyway, instead of getting the store-bought costume, my mother convinced me that she could make me a better version. So she bought some material and cut it into strips. The morning before school on the big day, I patiently stood there while she wrapped me from head to toe in long white strips of fabric. When a strip ended, she simply knotted the end together with a fresh strip and on the material went, round and round. The costume was good for a couple of hours before it started sagging at the joints, revealing my black sweats underneath. Soon everything started unraveling and I just untied it all and shoved it into my backpack.

Ah, memories of my childhood.

In the fourth grade, I was a California Raisin. I don’t know if anyone really recalls these commercial icons, but they were big in the late 80’s and early 90’s. You’d see them dancing around on tables in all their claymation glory, singing Motown hits, like I Heard It Through the Grapevine. This is one of those costumes that I can’t quite understand why I picked it. It was probably one of those ideas my father had and I went along with because a) I didn’t want to piss him off and b) it seemed like a unique costume. Just to keep your imagination straight, it only barely looked like a California Raisin. The suit was 2-D, made up of two foam pieces with a California Raisin face painted on the front. You’d slide it over your body and your face would attach to the suit via a plastic mask on the inside with its ever trusty rubber band wrapping around your head. It also came with some fabric that you could cut up to make the white gloves. What it didn’t come with, but recommended I get, were tights. I wanted to complete the outfit so I had my mother pick me up a pair.

At school the following day, everyone loved my costume and I was indeed the only raisin to show up. What I didn’t realize, however, is that I have a pretty sexy pair of legs. When I would stand outside during recess and lunch, boys I had never seen before would crowd around me and sometimes talk to me. Then they would scatter like homophobic roaches as soon as I revealed that I was a dude. That experience is probably the reason why I’ve gotten a kick out of cross-dressing the handful of times that I’ve done it.

For several grades after that, I had no costume. I’m not sure why. It’s a shame how spotty my memory is becoming. I do remember that in the fifth grade my school wanted to parade some classes through the lower grades to show off costumes. Rather than simply gather the children that were wearing costumes my school decided to just walk everyone through the classes. I found the whole exercise completely moronic so I would amuse myself by suddenly screaming at unsuspecting children as my line shuffled by.

As a side note, I often tell people that I hate children. The most common rejoinder is, “You were a child once, you know. Did you hate yourself then?” The answer, of course, is no, but as an adult I can certainly say that I hate how I behaved when I was a child. One Halloween I remember standing at the door of one home, ringing the bell, waiting for my candy. No one answered in the expected amount of time, so I rang again…and again. The TV was on. I could clearly see it through the window. Someone was home. WHERE WAS MY CANDY? I knocked to add a human touch to the whole event. I wanted the homeowners to know that there really was a live person here waiting for them. I knocked a little more incessantly. Finally, a woman approached from the hallway and answered the door. I announced trick or treat in the friendly, upbeat manner I usually did and the woman dropped a handful of candy into my pillow sack. She wasn’t upset with me. She wasn’t annoyed. She looked preoccupied. For a few minutes after I left I felt like a jerk. For all I knew she had just gotten off the phone with someone informing her that someone she knew just died. Or maybe I pulled her off the toilet. I don’t know and that’s the point. I felt so selfish and the guilt weighed on me until the next house.

I used to live in Moreno Valley, CA before moving to Corona, CA. During the last Halloween I can remember having at the Moreno Valley house someone knocked on our door at a very late hour for trick or treating – like around 9 p.m. or so. I think my father answered the door and I stood just behind him and to the right to see who was there. It was a teenage girl – probably 14 – dressed in a standard red and white cheerleader outfit. Her father stood just behind her and to her right. I can’t remember exactly what her face looked like anymore, but I can clearly recall the sense memory of seeing her. She was gorgeous. Beautiful. Stunning. It was like seeing a unicorn or a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. I saw beautiful people on TV, but nothing in my real life experience ever compared to those images until I saw this girl – living, breathing and only a few steps away from me. When she left, her blond ponytail swayed with each step.

In the seventh grade or maybe it was the eighth, I was a pirate. Not much else to say there except that I was wearing glasses now and my costume required an eye-patch, so I walked around without my glasses. I didn’t realize how much I needed glasses until I got turned around in my own neighborhood and people looked at me quizzically when I knocked on their door twice in five minutes.

In the ninth grade, I was in high school now and beginning to put together a school wardrobe that matched the persona I was affecting, which was a dark and brooding character. As such, I took to wearing black and I decided I would go as a vampire for Halloween. I went to a local costume store and picked up a pair of prosthetic fangs. They weren’t the really cheap ones that cover all of your teeth, but don’t actually stick to them. Instead, I got the semi-cheap ones that only cap your canines and are supposed to stick via some included sticky fabric that activates when it gets wet…or something? I don’t know, because the fangs never stayed stuck for too long. They also looked terrible when I smiled because the fangs were pearly white and my real teeth were dingy white.

Not bad, right? (Click to Enlarge)

No costume my sophomore year mainly because my best friend at the time called dibs on the costume I wanted, which was the Crow. We’d both seen the movie together and when we walked out the first thing he said was, “That’s what I’m going to be for Halloween.” There are few perfect moments in life, but that moment was one of them. What an awesome idea for a costume – and simple too! Plus, my friend had the long hair to complete the outfit. Granted, he was blond, but he said he’d dye his hair.

On Halloween night we agreed to go trick or treating together. When I got to his house he was still assembling his costume. It was the most ramshackle outfit I’d ever seen. The Crow wears electrical tape around his waist and forearms, but my friend didn’t go out and buy any so I watched him scrounge around for used tape to unravel. The black dye he said he would use for his hair turned out to be – I’m not sure – black shoe polish? It simply made him look like a dirty mechanic or maybe a coalminer. Lastly, he had his older sister do his makeup and she obviously had never seen the movie, because what was supposed to be black lines on his face were instead smudgy finger smears. When his costume was complete he looked at himself long and hard in the mirror and his expression was heartbreaking. Though we never said it, we both felt that he had wasted a costume. He wasted perfection.

Our trick or treating took twice as long, because he had to explain who he was at every door.

So I took over the Crow mantle the following year. I now had pretty long hair and felt I could do the costume justice. I also had a badass coat that fit the part. It wasn’t perfect, but it got the point across. By the next Halloween, however, I knocked it out of the park. Sure, it doesn’t compare with more “professional” costumes, but it’s not bad at all for a kid with no money and relying on clothes, material and makeup from friends and family.

If I could have, I would have worn the makeup everyday. (Click to Enlarge)

After school, I went over to my best friend’s house to cheer him up since he was already graduated and just sitting around, listless. He was very impressed by the getup and we took a few gag shots.

Even undead avengers like edged grass!

Who doesn't like a manicured lawn?

These days I don’t even bother. I think it’s because I don’t have anywhere to go. With that said, I hope everyone had a safe Halloween. Mine was fairly quiet since I stayed in to write this blog.

My favorite picture of this costume. (Click to Enlarge)

From the Official Synposis:

In the supernatural thriller Season of the Witch, Nicolas Cage stars as a 14th century Crusader who returns with his comrade (Ron Perlman) to a homeland devastated by the Black Plague. A beleaguered church, deeming sorcery the culprit of the plague, commands the two knights to transport an accused witch (Claire Foy) to a remote abbey, where monks will perform a ritual in hopes of ending the pestilence.

A priest (Stephen Campbell Moore), a grieving knight (Ulrich Thomsen), an itinerant swindler (Stephen Graham) and a headstrong youth who can only dream of becoming a knight (Robert Sheehan) join a mission troubled by mythically hostile wilderness and fierce contention over the fate of the girl.

When the embattled party arrives at the abbey, a horrific discovery jeopardizes the knight’s pledge to ensure the girl fair treatment, and pits them against an inexplicably powerful and destructive force.

IGN has a teaser. From what I can glean, the film looks like it’s going to be action-packed or horror-packed or a hybrid ala Pandorum. Come to think of it, the monsters in Season of the Witch kind of look like the monsters in Pandorum. That’s just a random observation.

We’re still a long way off before the film is released next spring, but I guess now is as good of a time as any to start generating some buzz. We are near Holloween after all. The current target date is March 19. I’ll post more information as I get it.

Our name guy at Buzzine – Emmanuel Itier – was invited to watch the UFC 104 fight at the Staples Center this past Saturday. Emmanuel’s been in the celebrity interviewer business for years and has racked up over a thousand interviews by now, so everyone in the industry knows who he is, which is why he gets invites to big events like UFC. He couldn’t make it this last Saturday so the drippings were offered to the poor and I was lucky enough to be first in line with my tin plate fully extended.

Lost in Los Angeles

For a while there I thought I was doing pretty well with my Los Angeles navigation skills. Unfortunately, it turns out that if I haven’t been to a particular part of LA, I’m going to get lost my first time through it. Such was the way with getting to the Staples Center. I think I’ve been there before, just not on my own. It’s not like I don’t go prepared or anything, either. I always make sure to Google Maps my route to a new place, especially because it helps me scout out parking lots. The problem for me is that as I’m nearing crucial interchanges I start second guessing Google. After all, it’s not always up to date and I’ve personally experienced incorrect driving instructions before. Of course those times are few and far between – maybe as low as 3%. When you’re in the moment and a possible freeway exit is coming up on you at 75mph, however, it feels like 50%. In the case of Saturday, I picked the wrong side of the coin in the toss and got dumped somewhere just east of the Staples Center, which apparently is a maze of one way streets. On the way home, I’d get lost in the same maze trying to find an onramp to the 10 freeway east.

VS.

Nevertheless, I got there on time, especially since I had to wait in the Press Media line with all of the sports journos. It’s interesting to note that sports journalists seem to be a little more matter of fact about their jobs than entertainment journalists. Their questions appear to be less fluffy and less clever. They’re not trying to elicit some kind of response that’s going to make for good copy; they’re just looking for simple, direct answers.

Security is also much tighter for sporting events than it is for film junkets. It’s not as harsh as, say, TSA. They don’t make you take off your shoes or anything, but they do rifle through your bag and sweep the handheld metal detector over you a couple of times. Also, they really pay attention to your media credentials. They don’t even let you eat at the hospitality buffet until they get a good look at it. At film junkets you pretty much just walk in and grab whatever you want, though the spread isn’t as nice.

One thing that’s similar in both camps is a certain level of professional courtesy and eagerness to walk newbies through the process. One journo I met was more than happy to give me the skinny on how everything worked and where to go. It was very reminiscent of my first roundtable interview with Wes Craven. All of the veterans at the table acknowledged me as the new guy without being condescending.

Might as Well Watch It at Home

I don’t know why anyone would want ringside seats at an octagon match. It’s sometimes difficult to see anything. When the fighters fall on the mat and grapple – unless they’re near the fence that you’re near – forget about watching anything in the ring. I think I spent at least a third of my time watching the giant telecast on the screens around the stadium just so I could follow the fight. Also, Press seats for sporting events like this are (as the journo to my right cleverly pointed out) the equivalent of flying coach. Not only is there literally no elbow room, but the guy in front of me might as well had been sitting on my knees. Then of course there was the fat dude who had to get up and take dump every ten minutes, forcing everyone in my row to scrunch up in their seats to let him by each time. The one upside is that I got a great view of Natasha Wicks – the new UFC round girl – every time she circled the ring. She’s easily one of my favorite models and I’d never heard of her before Saturday.

Gorgeous and height appropriate! Can you dig it?

Everyone’s Got Two Jobs These Days

As a guy who does the entertainment journalist thing part-time, I’ve always felt just a little deceptive in telling people that I’m a journalist. Sure, I go to events and I write features and editorials and reviews, but I don’t do it for a living, which is how I think people take it when I tell them I do it. For my part, I go ahead and let them believe it, because sometimes I need them to. Other times, I just like people thinking it. In any event, I thought I was alone in my part-time capacity, but it turns out there are more journalists with separate day jobs than I thought. The guy to my right during the fight does BSD for an animation company. The woman to my right during the Press conference – a beautiful, red head Brazilian lady who kissed me on the cheek to illustrate how affectionate Brazilians are – is a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas. The woman to my left during the fight was a full-time journalist, I think. I only mention her now, because she had an Australian accent (big plus for me) and stunning legs (another big plus).

After the event, I was put on the list for the after party at Club Nokia across the street, but I was nursing a growing headache and I was exhausted, so I just drove home. All in all, it was a great experience. Look for my feature soon.

Despite having the “2” in the title, it’s hard to imagine Ong Bak 2 as the sequel to Ong Bak since this film seems to have nothing to do with the previous movie. Ong Bak 2 takes place in 15^th century Thailand, during a time of political and social upheaval as the ruthless warlord Rajasena (Saranyu Wongkrajang) seeks to conquer all of Asia. One of the many obstacles in his way is Lord Sihadecho (Santisuk Promsiri), so Rajasena sends assassins to eliminate him and his family. Sihadecho’s 10-year-old son, Tien (Tony Jaa), barely escapes with his life only to fall into the hands of bandits, where he learns to fight, steal and kill ruthlessly under the tutelage of Chernung (Sorapong Chatree). At the height of his ability, Tien is asked to become the new bandit leader, but before he can accept, Tien must avenge his family, which leads to discoveries he isn’t prepared to face.

In many ways, Ong Bak 2 resembles your standard “fightal.” A fightal is like a musical, except instead of the characters breaking out in song to express themselves, they break out in fights. Such is the way in Ong Bak 2 where characters fight for extended periods where a stern word or a quick kill would suffice. In fact, the fights last so long that screen time for fight scenes probably takes up the majority of the film. Those craving a good ol’ fashioned brawler first and a satisfying story second won’t be disappointed here. Like other films in the genre, however, Ong Bak 2 suffers from the logistical drawbacks that come from staging complex fights. Some movements are sped up to achieve the pace audiences expect, but here they’re done blatantly and it looks unnatural. Other times, when Tien is fighting several attackers, those not being immediately engaged are forced to “keep busy” by flourishing their weapons until Tien is available to kill them. For some inexplicable reason, the bad guys don’t attack Tien en masse. Instead, they send weak attackers in small groups, special fighters in couples or solo bouts and principal characters in special one-on-one duels. As a bad guy, wouldn’t it make more sense to send everything you have at once instead of letting the good guy pick off your best men one at a time?

Tony Jaa’s physical performance in this film is second to none and he never fails to impress in every scene he’s in. If he’s not leaping from one elephant to the next in a moving heard or kicking the asses of 30 guys in one fight sequence, he’s performing a beautiful, exotic dance just to throw a curve ball at the audience. Jaa’s fighting performance is also brilliant, showcasing his ability to use varied weapons and move fluidly between different styles. The inclusion of Muay Thai boxing gives Jaa’s fighting a unique look and feel that Bourne- and Transporter-weary viewers will find refreshing. Jaa even takes on a bit of drunken boxing, but it’s still a long way off from Jackie Chan’s virtuoso performance.

Jaa’s acting unfortunately leaves something to be desired. He’s rarely emotional and doesn’t speak his lines with conviction. He also can’t hold a long closeup without blinking. It seems like an intentional choice to cut Jaa’s lines down to almost nothing in order to minimize his weak points. American audiences probably won’t mind this aspect though, since the entire film is subtitled.

Ong Bak 2 is Tony Jaa’s third lead role in a major film and also his directorial debut, which may explain why Ong Bak 2 has a little more cinematic appeal. The story is a little thin and doesn’t even resolve itself entirely, which leaves room for a sequel, but plot isn’t why you should watch this film. Watch Ong Bak 2 to witness the beginning of a new era of visceral martial arts movies and the making of a new star. If that isn’t enough, the movie is also entertaining in its own right.

Endless summer at The Dragonfly

So how does one take a big budget movie that’s set on the beach, featuring a car chase and sky diving and bring it to the stage in a believable manner? You use practical effects and rely on a whole lot of imagination on the audience’s part. The production value is very low, but that’s half of the charm. The stage is basically bare, with only a few functional set pieces to get the point across for particular scenes, like a plastic palm tree for the beach and a toy bench for the front seat of a car. Otherwise, everything else is just acted out and done so remarkably well.

You too can be Keanu!

As a pleasant twist, all of the parts of the film are already cast except for Johnny Utah. As such, audience members who want to play the part can get on stage and audition for the crowd. The director of the film Point Break, Kathryn Bigelow (played by Amber Hubert on stage), joins the prospective Johnny’s and puts them through three rounds of acting-related tasks, like line-delivery, flexibility and speaking while moving. Afterwards, the audience members clap for the Johnny they like the best.

Christi Waldon as the PA

As another pleasant – and probably logistically necessary – twist, Point Break Live! isn’t simply a staged reenactment of the film; the show is presented as a filming of the movie. That means Bigelow will occasionally walk around, giving direction via a bullhorn. There’s also a production assistant (Christi Waldon) on hand to hold cue cards for Johnny Utah since he can’t be expected to know the lines. Waldon also doubles as the stunt double for the fight scenes. The result is utter hilarity.

Fine acting all around

It’s obvious that the cast is full of comedic actors experienced in improv, because their timing is tight and their choices are clever, like how they refer to the Johnny Utah for the evening based on his looks – on my night they called him “chubby Hugh Jackman” and “Emilio Estevez mixed with Corky.” They also know how to work the audience members, involving them in the show while flawlessly staying in character. Everyone in the ensemble cast does an excellent job – even the actors playing smaller roles manage to carve out a memorable character that’ll have you genuinely laughing – but a few standout performances come from Bodhi (Tobias Jelinek) and Pappas (George Spielvogel). The actors are almost polar opposites in their portrayals. Jelinek is reserved and enigmatic, bordering on mystic, which is perfect for Bodhi, while Spielvogel is manic and cartoony, which won’t necessarily remind of Gary Busey’s version, but is fun to watch just the same.

Tobias Jelinek waxes poetic as Bodhi

You don’t need to be familiar with the film Point Break to appreciate the live version, but it certainly helps in the way that knowing The Rocky Horror Picture Show helps when you go watch a live screening. There are choice lines in Point Break that everyone inexplicably knows and loves, like “I am an FBI agent!” and “Utah, make it two!” It’s not necessary to memorize the film, but watching it at least once is recommended, especially if you get picked to play Johnny Utah.

Johnny Utah gives the "Keanu Look"

The actor that does play Utah is one of the two factors of the show that could heavily affect the enjoyment of the production. While I’m sure that the cast is talented enough to present a good show regardless of who plays Utah, it definitely helps when the person has a modicum of acting ability and knows the movie. The Utah on my night struck the perfect balance between fish-out-of-water and hammy amateur actor.

The other factor that could absolutely ruin your night is whether or not you buy a poncho sold at the show and/or if you’re wearing something you care about. To help deliver an authentic beach experience, the actors sometimes squirt water into the audience, which is fine. When characters get shot, water with food coloring is squirted into the audience, which is tolerable. To help illustrate some dialogue about masturbating, some kind of sticky substance is squirted into the audience, which sucks. A lot. Especially when you’re not wearing a poncho – like me – because you had no idea corn syrup would be thrown on you. Full Disclosure: I was given a free poncho, but I didn’t use it because I thought the show was only going to use water.

This is how Point Break Live! feels about your clothes

Worse yet, at one point the bank robbers will assault the audience with super soakers and it seems as though they will target anyone not wearing ponchos, like my photographer. Thomas Blake, who played Roach, soaked her with impunity, screaming, “You’re date (meaning me) is so cheap! It was only a dollar (meaning the poncho)! You couldn’t afford a dollar?!” All the while, my photographer huddled with me to protect her suede leather purse. We failed. With that said, buy the poncho. Or don’t buy the poncho and bring someone you hate.

Whatever you do, don’t miss Point Break Live! It’s unique, it’s cheap and there’s alcohol. It’s easily one of the better times you’re going to have in Los Angeles.

This is how Point Break Live! makes you feel

*Photographs by Scrappigeon.com © Anela Bence-Selkowitz

Point Break Live!
Every Friday & Saturday @ 8 p.m.
The Dragonfly
6510 Santa Monica Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90038

Tickets: $20 @ TheaterMania.com