Bliss Around

Super Sister

2014-04-30T22:42:00.002+05:30

*Amazing post, love love love..loved it.* she whats-apped me in my office hours.
*How come you liked it so much?* i immediately pinged her back, ignoring the amount of work i had.
*I am happy to know that somewhere is there to take your care and to make your birthday special* she replied with two cute emoticons.

We were talking about one of the blog post which was related to my boyfriend. She was the first one to know that i am dating someone. I don't remember the first time when i saw her but i am pretty sure that she has kept that first sight saved in the bunch of her lifetime memories as she was seven when i was born. She has been everything for me, since beginning. She helped me with bathing when i was three, combed my hair when i was six, taught me maths when i was 10, helped me in applying kajal and lip gloss when i turned 13, gave me tips about shopping during my entire teenage and made me look beautiful in each and every family function. She was no where less than my mom, she was my best friend, mentor, teacher and mom at the same time..she still is.

I remember how she used to pataofy mom to let me sleep till long hours, how she used to let me not enter into the kitchen, how she managed to complete her entire household work before leaving for office in the morning so that i get enough time to watch TV and play video games. Everything was in my favor till she got married and i got a healthy competitor. I didn't cry on her wedding day but on the very next day when i was all alone..i cried my heart out. I didn't know why they did let her go..what was i supposed to do now, will i be her priority..anymore?

Initially i felt a cut off but after she settled down in her new house, we started chit chatting again. He didn't snatch away my sister and I rather found a good friend in my brother in law. Things didn't change and i understood that things will never change. love and affection never fades. no matter wherever i go and whatever i become..she will always be close to my heart and vice versa. We are not siblings but i can bet that even if i would have had one..he/she wouldn't have beat my super sister. :)

I love you so very much, Di !

Blessing

2014-04-30T01:40:00.001+05:30

"I want to write, no matter what time it is. Been a month since i have posted a blog post and all because of this silly laptop, we humans are too dependent on technology but trust me these notebooks are really boring." I caught myself talking to my own self once again. I wasn't amazed as it was my every day's story. I have been in a relationship for straight three months now and since long i have been craving for expressing what i have inside <over there in my mind, heart and soul>. There are three main reasons behind me writing about him:

1. This is my blog and hardly any relatives even know that i write.
2. He is the love of my life and i have all the rights to flaunt.
3. I am bored of writing fictional stuff.

So here comes..

He was sleepy and even i was, we were on the urge of disconnecting the call. we were in middle of a discussion about our careers, in fact his career as mine would be uniform for coming two years, hopefully. There were high possibilities of him going far away from me, as per the conversation. "No matter what, you are never gonna compromise on your career's front", i said and trust me it took all my strength. "I need to do things for us", he replied. I found myself smiling as i heard his statement. he said "us" and that meant the world to me.

When i saw him for the first time i found him too good for a girl like me. I mean, he was decent, innocent and soft spoken and during our first meet he chose to listen to me, i don't know why. I won't say that i never thought about us being together but yes i never got a chance to over think about stuff, our action spoke louder than words and within the span of 15 days we realized that we were falling for each other or may be we just found somebody our sort of.

On a weekend when he was busy with his friends, i didn't get a chance to talk to him. He wanted us to go out for a dinner with two of his close friends and i was in a full mood to deny.
"I think we should give it a thought"
"What??" his voice cracked.
"Let's be friends, I am not sure about being in a relationship"
"...."
"I don't want to go out with your friends"
"Okay, I will see you in the evening and we will talk about it." and he hung up.
I was confused, one more freaking time. i loved him but i hated him because 1. I didn't want to go out with his friends. 2. he had no time to call me on a complete Saturday. I was fuming till he knocked on my flat's door.

"Hey, please hide all the weapons, this girl may kill me today" He pleaded to my flatmates.
Everybody laughed on that PJ except me. I was dressed to go out in spite of the fact that i didn't want to. We came down on the road and took a rick. I was looking out from the window to avoid an eye contact with him.
"Sorry, he said."
"Hey, don't be" <<I don't know why, whenever he says sorry, it reminds me of movie Pyaar ka Punchnama! >>
He kissed my left hand and i melted like a dairy milk silk.
That day, i enjoyed a lot with his friends, now...our friends.

On a Sunday morning when he arrived i was roaming around in pajama. As usual, i was late for a movie show. There was nobody else in the house except we two. He asked me to go get ready fast. I got inside my room and locked it from inside. Yes, he was my guy but he was a guy first.
He didn't make a noise till i got ready and appeared in the hall.
"Should we make a move" he asked.
Hmmm :)
I was not in a condition to talk, out of nervousness. That helpless feeling of being home alone was bugging me inside. Before i could reach the exit, he held me and kissed my forehead. Probably the fifth time, i fell for him.

I can not cite all the moments when i fell for him, his gestures, attires or efforts and the things he has been doing for me, knowingly or unknowingly but majorly he have collected and placed all the broken pieces beautifully. If we talk about the minor stuff, This was the first birthday since i was thirteen, when i didn't cry. He didn't let me, i would say.

So, it was my birthday and we were in the middle of a dinner date when he went serious, suddenly.
"Can i ask you something, Apara?"
"Yes, Please" i said.
"Promise that you won't lie"
"What??" and we giggled.
i thought the conversation is over and got lost in my food.
"Will you marry me" he finally spoke out.
"W...hh..aattt..i mean..what...I mean of course..oh damn, u proposing me" I stammered, spoke, smiled and cried at the same time.

"He is a blessing and I will keep him as one, Forever and a little more ever." I promised myself on my birthday night.

Little Survivor

2014-02-24T00:08:00.000+05:30

Not the morning show please..I pleaded, a long discussion and finally i found myself alone on one side of the battle field. I had to agree, booked tickets and decided to sleep early that night. Not as that I have never been out for cheap morning shows but i hardly prefer them and there are n number of reasons behind that which i will explain some other day.

So, I was woken up by three of my flatmates at 7 am on a "Sunday". They were ready for their dance class and as per our plan i was going to see them at theater directly. Anyways I struggled to get out of my blanket on a cozy "Sunday" morning and walked towards the bathroom. My vision was all blurred when i saw "Him" for the first time. A Cockroch, right there in my washbasin. A blocked washbasin in which he was swimming, joyfully. Can Arthopods swim? I asked myself and being a zoology student, i should have had an answer but surprisingly i didn't have any. He was a medium sized cockroch and i don't think that he had wings otherwise he would have flown, right? he was continuously trying to get out of that small pool but all in vein. I didn't know what to do. It was almost yucks for me to put my hand in that pooled dirty water and in the second place i was really afraid to scare that small living being by my activities. I switched off the bathroom's light and came out.

I gave him approximately 15 minutes to rescue himself meanwhile i roamed around in hall, read newspaper and kept thinking about him.

a. Should i kill him? May be in his next birth he wont be a Cockroch, he will be a human and he will have great fun.
b. No, I think i should give him a chance to live. after all its awesome being a cockroch, no office, nothing.
c. Let's see what does he do, its his life, he will decide.
d. If i try to help him, will he sense that i am helpful or what if he have wings...No no no no no!

I slowly opened the bathroom's door and found him on the boundary of the basin. I don't know whether it was the water level which went down or it was him who came out. I clapped in excitement.

One of my friend who was staying at my flat for a weekend, got up because of my drama and came to see what i am upto.

"Come on baby, now just a little more, this way, this way" She found me guiding.
"Whom the hell are you guiding, Apara?" She asked, irritatingly.
"See, there is a small baby Cockroch" I pointed my finger towards the survivor.
"OMG! seriously" !!!! she gave me a look.
"How come everyone is your baby and you have two more bathrooms in flat, can't you get ready there", she questioned with raised eyebrows.
"Its not about getting ready, see he survived" and i clapped again.
My friend smiled, may be she understood that i am not in a mood to see things from her perspective.

I kept guiding the little one till i realized that he didn't understand human language, he didn't even have ears, he was obviously dumb enough to do not find a way out himself and he was not in a mood of committing suicide by jumping from 4.5 feet. As all i wanted was him..alive and safe, So after his long stupid drama i decided to help him up. I picked a stick and invited him to get on a ride. He ignored. I tried again and he ignored again but when i tried for the third time, he took the signal. Yes, he trusted me. he got on the stick and i made him land carefully.

It was 8:30 when i waved him a final good bye and rushed for my 9am show.

Equation

2014-02-05T22:58:00.000+05:30

Mumbai..I always wanted to be here because of some known or unknown reasons. I believe that we get intuitions. Many a times we keep getting signals, though things might take a little longer to happen. Mumbai is a city of dreams that's what i heard and read about it but for me it was always homely from the very first day when i landed. Sometimes i think, is it only Mumbai or something else which made me feel comfortable after all its a place, just a place, right?

"Wow, TATA !?" Dad asked in excitement.
"The location is Mumbai" I replied and in a minute his face expressions changed from extremely happy to confused and worried.
"Let me go or I am gonna run away" I announced. (yes, i dared to say that as mom was not present there.)
And please you are going to help me in convincing Mom, I pleaded.
He nodded, still confused.

The entire process took time but they agreed, may be because i was too stubborn, may be because they knew it's about my career or may be because they just wanted to see me happy. Parents, i tell you, i don't know about all varieties and types of them but mine have always been an unsolved mystery for me. I am just fond of them and there are n number of reasons behind that.

My life's first flight and the first time being away from home, i chose to be excited over being sad. Out of the Mumbai airport, on the way to guest house, it looked like Old Delhi, more or less. Crowded, so crowded. I liked the people here, simple, straight forward and helpful. Is it place which makes people different or people make a place different, i asked myself but there was lot more to see and i was not in a hurry of being answered.

First day in office after three days of induction was quite good, I was silent because one should always observe and understand people in first place but good people always help you in being yourself, they pull you out in your comfortable zone, they make you speak and yes the same happened.

Mumbai was explored and i found it beautiful. Local trains, Marine drive, Beaches, Markets, Cafe, Bars,Vadapav and much more. Here, everybody replied my useless questions and no body cared about my freaky looks or dirty shoes. Every one was so busy and satisfied. There is less fuzz because people give less damn about other people's life, I concluded.

People and place is kind of directly proportional. Good people make good place and vice-versa but then i think, wasn't it much easier to solve math problems in primary school as there was nothing called directly or indirectly proportional. So, i decided to solve the equation by addition:

My flatmates, friends, colleagues + the surroundings i am in + feelings and work = Happy me.
i.e. People + Place + Things = :)

Its always a mixture which make things perfect <nearly perfect> .

My BFF!

2013-12-08T22:29:00.003+05:30

One of our cherished memories when Neelu went mad and i prepared a sorry card. Its amazing how time flies. the variety of our conversation keep varying all the while. It started from school and ended up at the stuff like marriage. I confess that I have been most selfish among all of us.

At times when i get a chance to move out of my fairy world, i realize that they are the one i can always count on! They are my best friends forever irrespective of everything. Thanks buddies for bearing me all the while, I really really owe you all a big hug and i am so lucky to have you all by me. whatever happens, where ever i go, I will always be there in your tough times (about the good ones i cant promise). Lots of kisses. Love ya!

PS: You can count on me like.. 1 2 3, and I will be there because that's what friends are supposed to do ohh yeahhh !!!


Dec 2009 <Rock Garden>

Dad:My Super hero!

2013-12-08T18:30:00.002+05:30

He used to accompany me to school everyday when i was three. One day unlike all other mornings, i didn't feel like going to school, Kids you see..their mood may swing anytime. I said that i didn't wanna go but they didn't hear. I was dressed, combed and seen off. On the entrance of my kinder garden, I cried, fought and screamed. My demand was simple. I was in no mood of schooling that day but unfortunately he was getting late for his work. Circumstances made him slap me. I cried even more and he couldn't resist, he took me in his lap and we came all the way back home. he bought me chips and toffees on the way.

Another day, I locked myself in the bathroom. I wanted to act like grown ups. Granny and mom tried to help but it was tough to guide a five year old nervous,crying and scared kid. They couldn't explain the procedure of unlocking the door from outside.He was called from office. He first talked to me for some fifteen minutes. he said that i am safe and brave. I have will power and i can do what i want to because i was his daughter. I later succeed in unlocking. He was hugged on the very first glance.

Class VII and i failed in Maths.He was called to school. I don't know what all was delivered to him, he accompanied me back home that day. "What did they tell you dad", i asked. "They said you are too good at English and Science" he replied. "Maths"?? i asked curiously. "Umm..I told them that you are good at maths when you are not scared" he smiled and he made me smile too. "but i failed in maths," i confessed. He didn't revert.

My board results: he announced the same with two chocolates. I scored up to expectation. I expressed my wish to visit a temple bare feet which was quite unusual as i was not atheist type. He agreed and accompanied. I asked him to wear shoes but he didn't. We walked bare feet entire two kilo meters and that is one of the best memories i have with him.

After completing my education when i asked him if i can go out for a job, he hesitated. he wanted me to stay in family. may be he was scared. but this wasn't something i knew him for. I convinced him and he had to agree. I saw him crying for the first time when he dropped me to railway station. I am proud of him and vice versa. Once during vacations i got a chance to sneak into small library, he had at home. He still have the diary in which i wrote alphabets for the first time. All my mark sheets, my school's payslips, my certificates, slam books and much more he have kept safely.

He always trusted me more than i trusted myself. He supported and scolded at times. but i never felt like hiding anything from him. Once when he got too angry he teared my book apart but when i got up in the morning, I found the same book nicely binded and covered. that is how he was, he is and he will always be.

Sometimes i think that i have never given anything to him in return but then probably my smile is enough. My superhero he is and no one can ever replace him!

I love you Papa.

They kept fighting!

2013-12-05T22:30:00.001+05:30

We should better break up, she said in disgust after an argument. Akhil didn't bother to react, he rather uttered, "as you wish, Prachi" with calm facial expressions. He didn't drop her home instead of the fact that it was late for her to travel alone. Akhil knew that Prachi was a short tempered girl, in three years of relationship they have had several fights and he was quite habitual of all these ups and downs. They were working with the same company and that was a kinda advantage to their love relationship. their fights never lasted for long. melting of either one of them in a day or two was a common phenomena.

That day while returning back home Aki went back to the memories, how he met Prachi for the first time, how he asked for her number, how they went on dates, how he proposed her and so on. Prachi was near about a perfect girl, in the start of the relationship. She hardly demanded, hardly complained. she was happy go lucky, charming and lively types but with the span of time jealousy and insecurity grabbed her mind. the recent argument which they had was behind a new female colleague they had in office. How hard is it for her to understand that i love her, Aki thought.

On the other hand Prachi broke down into tears as soon as Aki left the place. She hated the fact that Aki didn't ask her for a drop. she was the younger and immature one in the relationship. Aki has always treated her like a small baby but at times she got scolded too. Prachi hated Aki for all the scoldings and rudeness till date. I just care and I am not insecure, she explained to her inner soul.
Aki at least should have talked about it rather than running away, she further thought. The ringing phone disturbed her suddenly.
"Are you home"? Aki inquired.
"No" she responded irritatingly.
"Stay there, I will com...."
Honks and the break sound...!! Probably an accident he heard.
Hello, hello....Prachi?? hello...
There was no reply.

Aki's heart skipped beats, hands started shivering and tears rolled down his cheeks.questions like What, When, Why bugged his mind. before he could come out of the world of his thoughts, his ringtone buzzed.
It was Prachi, he immediately picked up.
Hello...Prachi said.
he chose to sob on phone rather than speaking whereas Prachi was unable to understand the matter. it was quite UN-obvious to get Aki crying. he was a man kind of !
"Wait, I am coming to see you right now" she ensured and hung up.

It was 9 at night when Prachi showed up at Aki's place. she found main entrance unlocked. his other flatmates didn't show up. her heartbeats went faster as she was facing all the unusual stuff today. Aki crying, open entrance and silent house were some of them.
When she entered in Aki's room she found him standing by the window, all sad. he hugged Prachi tightly on the very first glance, Prachi gave him a tough competition. Hug went to squeezing and kissing.
"You know i am stupido and we do fight like this, doesn't mean that i will break up or something, specially because of that bitch." she said smiling after getting over her hormones.
"Thank god you are alright but the later part of your statement was quite funny, I only like puppies, nothing to do with dogs and bitches you see "Aki said teasingly.

"I am Hungry" Prachi stated while making faces. This was something which has always melted Aki so far, the kiddish behavior of his adorable princess.
"I will cook Pasta for my baby" Aki responded with a smile.

They cooked and ate together. Aki shared the horror story of that imaginary accident and Prachi laughed on the same.They watched their favorite cartoon series on TV.

"So, drop me home now" Prachi asked Aki.
Stay here, Aki said with a wink.
"For tonight" ?? Prachi gave a naughty smirk.
For all the nights was Akhil's answer.
"Wow, Live-in would be fun and its legal too" Prachi giggled.
Marriage would be a better option, Akhil stated.

And they decided to fight for lifetime as their fights were directly proportional to their love for each other.

Beg !!

2013-11-04T02:22:00.001+05:30

Bring in something ready made for brunch, instructed my mom.

I got out in a pair of slippers and night suit. It was Diwali, an Indian festival. Market area was filled with a huge human rush. I somehow managed to reach till the destination. A group of small kids grabbed my attention. their ages varied from 4 to 15. they were some 6 in number, four gals and two boys and one of the girl who was probably oldest, was carrying a small baby in her arms. On inquiring closely, i realized that they were beggars. From one to another, they were continuously asking people to give them something, mostly money. My turn appeared soon.

What? I asked irritatingly.
"I am a kind of person who can overpay rickvala's but never donate a single penny to beggars."
The girl made a pathetic facial expression and asked for money.
"What would you do out of that?" I asked curiously, just to understand on her part.
before she could answer, an uncle peeped in from nowhere, insulted the tiny beggar girl and asked her to get out from there.

I didn't care much and drove back home. I was wondering if they are the only beggars around. I realized that we all are beggars, the only difference is "they beg us and we beg God to bless us with all we desire." The begging in our case is termed as prayer. Actually, Faith and Prayer should be directly proportional but the scenario here is, fear is directly proportional to prayer and inversely proportional to faith. Why can't we simply thank the almighty for all we own.

Coming back to the track, The beggar girl appeared again, this time on the main entrance of my house. after market, the residential locality was the second target of her gang, i assumed. As my conversation was interrupted last time, i ran to accomplish my goal.

So, did you get money? What plans?, I asked teasingly.
She didn't respond and kept begging.
I kept talking about random stuff related to diwali, crackers and sweets to provoke her interest.
"I don't want money, i want crackers" she started crying.
"But, crackers cause air pollution." i stated, out of my weakness of being educated.
Tiny girl hardly cared, she kept on sobbing as may be she was frustrated out of all day begging.
"Why do you beg"? i banged her with an another question.
"I don't have a home and parents, like you" she answered.
"Then, where do you stay" I asked surprisingly.
"With Aunty" she replied.
"She doesn't even love me, all she want is money or else she don't serve me food" she further added.
"Would you like to stay at a good place and study" i asked.
The answer was positive.

I passed a smile towards her, held her hand and accompanied her to the market. I bought her some safe crackers, candles and sweets. she had a pretty good smile, i noticed. Way back home, i realized how blessed i am to have a family.

She will be relocating to an orphanage, where there will be no need to beg.

People

2013-11-01T15:30:00.001+05:30

There are three kind of people in world. Best friends are first of their kind, Family are of second kind and rest of the world come in the last kind.

I was facing problems at professional level, in spite of being a diligent employee of a reputed organization there was lots more to learn. Nobody can be perfect but very few people accept this statement practically. I will start with rest of the world, My senior was one among that. He explained, he blamed, he harassed, he warned but at the end he said that it was a constructive feedback. I accepted all as i really had respect for that being but with due respect i argued for the issues which were irrelevant. You never know when something you are doing in favor may turn totally against you. I realized that i was overworking and i should not have done that. In corporate, the more you get attached to your work the more you get hurt, there was no need to be emotionally attached with the things i was delegated for, was a lesson learnt.

Now comes the second kind, My family. I burst out crying just after facing the members sitting in the drawing room. i was consoled, i was hugged. They sat around me and asked what was the problem till I vomited out the matter. I was asked to have patience. They said that they are with me but all they expected was a mature decision from my side. My parents were ready to take my responsibility, once again. They didn't want anything but a peaceful life for their daughter. They cooked my favorite dinner that night just to bring a smile back on my face.

Here comes my buddies, I called one of my best friend to ask if we can meet. Both of us bunked our office to see each other. She sensed my restlesness on phone itself. She was the one i share all my secrets with. I explained her the matter and the perspective i had. Without any second thought she asked me to do whatever i was planning to do without any fear, as she said she is always there by me. we bitched about all the things which were wrong, we laughed on the people we didn't like, we made fun of other's perspective without even caring even if they were right on their part. We hanged around, had fun and i almost forgot what i was going through, for that small span of time.

The best part of the people who love you is the policy they carry of do not ever judging you and accepting you with all your good and bad. Your buddies should always be one of them.

There was an another person too. I don't know whether i should count him in my family or in my list of best buddies. He didn't console, he didn't hug, he didn't cook anything special and he didn't even hang out with me to distract my mind. He said that he trusts me that i am capable enough to handle these tiny matters. He asked me to stick to my decisions and to trust my intuitions.He further added a list of my capabilities and how important my smile was. He succeed to bring that smile back and the confidence too.

Needless to state, God has blessed me with the best.
The ironical part " Rest of the world will always help you growing up, with all their positive negative destructive and constructive feedback but other two kinds will try their best to keep your innocence intact." After all, Balance matters!

Bunny

2013-10-27T14:21:00.000+05:30

I called him from behind when he was about to take an exit from the campus. Hey! Which way is this, he asked surprisingly. may be he didn't expect me to be there but how could i let him go without a proper see off. We exchanged smiles. " Please not that guy, he said in disgust. Which kind of choice do you have, have you even seen him properly hmm, you are too pretty for a guy like him." we were talking about my recent crush and being my best friend, Bunny was bothered about my stupid choices. "I doubt if you have a good choice so please for god sake i request you, before you start dating a guy, do send me his photograph." I giggled on his request but i agreed as i knew it is for my own good. I accompanied him till the exit. It was hard to see him leaving, he was probably the best thing ever happened to me till that date and moreover i was not sure when am i going to see him again. He was special,indeed.

Every year 20 new people enters in our life and ten old people take a silent exit, i read somewhere. Though Bunny was not among the ten people, Abhinav entered in suddenly. Till the time i met Abhinav, my idea of a perfect partner was limited to Bunny. Bunny was just like me. When we first met, i was in my initial twenties and he was in his lates. our likes, dislikes, hobbies, idea of fun, nature, background, passions shared lots of similarity. our priorities were little different so we never dated but yes we somehow managed to be the best buddies. Over the span of 5 years, Bunny was aware of the people i came across, somehow i didn't get a chance to introduce Abhinav to him.

Abhinav was my family's choice. I was totally against the arranged marriages but unfortunately, one can not force herself to fall in love. I was on the peak of my career and at the same time my parents were on the urge of retirement. i melted down in front of my mother's all time emotional drama and my parents arranged a date for me and him in a posh restaurant. Strange na ! How dad always guided me to do not talk to the strangers and now he himself was forcing me to meet a guy and probably the same stranger will turn out to be my priority for lifetime. I spent a sleepless night to the next dawn. Dad dropped me to the restaurant. He was waiting outside. Blue shirt- baze trousers,spectacles, black shoes and a decent haircut was all i noticed. he touched my dad's feet and i almost hated it. C'mon you are still not his son in law, i said to myself. he was not my type, i never wanted a traditional type of guy but i decided to be patient and do not react. I was missing Bunny all the time but his freaking phone was not reachable.
"So,What would you like to have?" was the first sentence i heard from Abhinav's mouth.
"Anything"
"Hey, Two plates of anything please" he stated and giggled
"If you are not hungry, we can go for a long drive rather than getting bored here, I am not foody sort of", he explained.
I smiled in agreement.
Abhinav was well mannered, we talked about most of the important stuff we had in our lives. In further meetings we talked about our past relationships but all that hardly mattered to our present. I was falling for him and i wanted my best friend to know about this. Abhinav knew all the main things about Bunny and my relationship with him but Bunny was still unaware of all, i was going through.

"Meet me on Sunday for lunch, have a surprise for you", I left a text to Bunny.

More than me, Abhinav was excited to meet the person i was most close to, totally opposite to what i expected. Bunny was already waiting when we entered in the decided venue. I introduced them. Though i was a little nervous, these two guys were enjoying each other's company. most of the conversations were either related to cricket or business they respectively had. I was feeling excluded as i really assumed myself to be the center of the conversation but things usually turn out to be different than imagined. It was a nice meeting altogether but i didn't get a chance to ask Bunny if Abhi was a right choice me.

It was eleven at night of the same day we three met, i got a call from Bunny.
"When did you grow up?" he asked after greeting.
"Hahaha, i am glad if you mean this" "Tell me, did you like him"?
"Do you want me to be genuine" he asked in a serious tone.
My heart skipped a beat, i really didn't want Bunny to say anything against Abhinav.
"He is too good for you" he stated and giggled.
huh! how could i forget that Bunny is famous for his poor jokes.
"Though it is hard to judge people in a single meet, Abhinav seems to be a mature person and most of all he loves you." he further added.
I felt like hugging Bunny then and there.
"So,You kept your promise to make me see the one you fall for, before you commit" Bunny stated.
"Yes, because you are still special and you will always be" "Even Abhinav is too much influenced with you, he was continuously talking about you on the way back home" I replied.

Stay blessed and happy, he said.
I love you too was my answer before we hung up.

Anything for Him

2013-10-17T00:43:00.000+05:30

When will we be meeting next?
Probably after 6 months.

I waved him a good bye and rushed towards the exit as i avoid crying in public. we were dating each other from last two years. things were quite fine but then suddenly one day he got a call from Delhi and he decided to switch his job. I was not willing to settle down too early so we mutually decided to give a chance to the distance relationship. it was easy to decide but it was tough to let him go. I hardly had any other friends in this huge city and moreover i was worried about Aniket. he was used to my presence around him.

I remember how i hated him when i saw him for the first time. His t-shirt ate most part of the burger he was holding in his right hand, his hair all messy and i could hear Akon shouting out of his big blue color headphones, he was my colleague and that was the first day of training session in our new company. He was not my types but he was interesting. he was humorous and charming. So, you are from Mumbai? I initiated the conversation on lunch table. He nodded while concentrating on the spoon which was on the way to his mouth. I didn't like the way he responded so i backed off, deciding not to bother him. He was more comfortable with the guy friends he made in group. Soon, we got to work on the same project as team mates. we shared a good chemistry at work but we never tried to peep in each other's personal business.
Weather was fine when we left office on a Friday evening but then Mumbai is famous for sudden rains. we both got drenched. his house was nearer than mine so we ended up landing there. His parents were out as his neighbor informed. Aniket looked at me with curious eyes, may be he was wondering if i will be comfortable being with him, home alone. we entered inside and he went straight away to one of the rooms. I was shivering out of cold till he hand overed me a towel and a large t shirt while pointing towards the bathroom. I relaxed for a while after locking myself up in that tiny area and when i came back in the drawing room i found him waiting with two mugs of coffee. we sipped together and started talking about office stuff. I was ignoring an eye contact with him all the time, because of some unknown reasons. I don't know whether it was his t-shirt, that rain or the coffee we shared, we fell for each other.

My phone rang, it was him. "Landed"? I asked as soon as i picked up the call.
"Yes baby and i missed you so much" he replied.
I wanted to act strong so i changed the topic to how his flight was, what did he eat and all the stuff.
He hung up after providing me all the details.

Initially he called everyday but soon we started skipping days. he was too busy in his office and i was in mine. months passed. communication gap left us irritated. I found him too demanding and at the same place he complained about my short temper. skype couldn't help us much and our relation was on the urge of break up after facing the same situations for 4 months but he was not worth loosing so i contacted his flatmate and planned a small trip to Delhi.

It was Sunday morning when i pressed the doorbell of his Delhi flat. He opened the door and stood still. I had to hug him to make him realize that it was not a dream but reality. for the first time i could feel him sobbing. he was overwhelmed with my efforts but i had something more for him. I knelt down and proposed him there itself for marriage.
"Oh god! i should be doing all this" he stated, laughing.
"Please say yes, please say yes." I begged.
"Of course its a yes, stop embarrassing me you tiny creature." he took me in his arms to all the way inside, after locking main entrance of the flat.

Tiny Li'l Things

2013-10-16T00:59:00.001+05:30

Nobody is perfect. In spite of having everything i once wished for, i am not satisfied. Small things make me happy but not repeatedly. I concentrate less and expect more out of myself. May be, I was brought up that way. Let it be parents, teachers or colleagues, they all had high expectations and various guidelines, i don't know when while following all that, i was on the urge of turning out to be a kind of person i would have never liked.

How much did your friend achieved used to be parent's first and fore most question after announcement of results. I was forced to hate my best friend this way. Comparison with a different person never makes one perform better, rather it acts the exactly opposite way.

How careless you are. Don't give her water in the glass we use, she have her separate glass.
Is she suffering from some contagious disease, i asked.
No, she is low class was the answer i got and i was too young to think over it so i accepted it as a universal fact.

A guy and a girl can not be good friends, there are many girls in the class, Why Himanshu then? i was being questioned to be with the person i felt most comfortable with. I didn't have any answer or may be i was not supposed to have one.

Eat what you like, wear what others like. My grand mother taught. I did wear what she liked to make her happy at times but seriously i couldn't accept what she meant.

Don't gain much weight. don't even loose more. Weight is like a universal problem and trust me others bother about it more than you do. I truly get irritated when someone talks about it.

If I wear too much of western, I show off and if I don't care about what I am wearing, I have no fashion sense.

I am not supposed to talk much as that makes me over friendly and i am not supposed to talk less either, that may make me sound rude.

How much are they paying you. oh! this is too less. you are not supposed to work too hard on such a low CTC.

Things went on and as people say the best lessons of life are never taught but they are earned by experience. I understood what matters and what doesn't. What is worth worrying and what is not. What should be accepted and what should be declined, with due respect. Somebody will always be better. somebody will always be prettier, somebody will always be smarter but they won't be you. people will always bother, they will always pull your leg and they will always inter vein but all these tiny little things hardly matter.

Be Blessed.

Tween Soul

2013-10-10T22:41:00.002+05:30

Going crazy behind a song and listening it over and over again.
Acting wild when best friend is around.
Expecting too much out of yourself.
Loosing temper every now and then.
Feeling satisfied after spending a hectic day at work.
Cursing people when they are rude to you but being unable to hate them.

Inspiring and supporting own-self at times.
Getting emotional at small stuffs.
Falling in love with someone you have no chance with.
That crave and craze of growth.
Finding lectures and advices boring.
Carrying a long wish-list along.
Wishing if college would have last forever.
Missing your first love.
Talking to new people.
Understanding what matters the most.
Knowing what your goals are.
Being happiest at times.
Being mad at other times.
That mood which swings.
Being stucked in some old memories.
Feeling, how much parents care.
Running away from commitments.
Wanting to meet that someone special someday.
Wishing things that are hardly possible.
Giving wrong signs to people,inadvertently.
Hating, when they judge you.
Ignoring social gatherings.
Million unanswered questions.
Watching different dreams every night.
Eating so much.
Hating responsibilities.
Blushing without reason.
Realizing, patience is the only thing you can have at times.
Crying your heart out, alone.
Having a new crush, every month.
Spending 30 percent of the time on social networks.
Loving people, you can act kiddish with.
Hugging a teddy bear.
Asking pardon from your pet as if they will beg you one.
Loving everyone by heart.
Wishing to look perfect.
Waving to unknown people.
Conversing with the people, no one else talk to.
Advicing friends on their relationships.
Being single and independent.
Loving yourself, over and over again.
Moving towards the goal, Small step ahead-everyday.
Being happy.

What If ?!

2013-10-09T22:45:00.001+05:30

She was my neighbor. Independent, fun loving and smart are perfect three adjectives i will use for her, a perfect combination of beauty and brains. She used to work as human resource manager in a reputed MNC. Her parents were well educated and rich. She had two brothers, both younger. My parents always compared me with her instead of the age difference, so basically i never liked her that much. she was fun though in social gatherings, a kind of personality everybody wanna turn into but I hardly bothered to initiate a conversation with her, it was limited to Hi-Hello.

Once i saw her in metro, she was giggling with a guy, probably her boyfriend. I could figure out relationship between the duo by their body language. They were looking adorable as a couple, while i was busy in preparing a long list of observations, i noticed her walking towards me. The guy followed the beautiful lady he owned. "hey, she waved" I responded with a smile. "Early today?" she further inquired. "Yes, i said." By the way "He is Kabir, my colleague", she ended up introducing the guy who chased her generously till me. We exchanged smiles and general conversations started. I noticed them glancing in each other's eyes. They were madly in love..i guessed and out of nowhere it was a blissful feeling to see them together.

I liked her and we started spending time together in social gathering and evening walks. She was a mentor to me, more than a friend. she shared her career stories, school affairs and everything else with me. i was more like a younger sister to her now but nothing lasts forever. One evening while i was getting ready for a walk, my mother asked me to do not meet Raavi. "Why, i immediately argued" "She doesn't carry a good character, my mother concluded in a single line." strange it was to me. They always wanted me to be like her and now suddenly they thought she is characterless. I went to see her that evening, ignoring what mom stated.

"My dad wants me to get married to a stranger" Raavi started the conversation.
"Why don't you explain him that you like Kabir." I suggested.
"I tried everything, Pari. My parents are more concerned about the society, Kabir is a Muslim" Raavi continued.
"So, what will you do now?" i was curious.
"She smiled and said, nothing."

She got married after 2 months. Her husband was perfect. Hindu-Brahmin, Rich, handsome and educated but probably not a right choice for her. we always think that everything happens for good but sometimes its not that way.Anyways, I got engrossed in my own life after she left the society and moved to a different city. I didn't even had her updated contact details. I used to meet Kabir in the same metro every second day but I decided to don't hurt his feelings by raising Raavi's topic.

Months passed and one fine day, i saw Raavi sitting on the park bench in evening. I ran towards her, we hugged. Her face was all pale, she was weak and bruised. The charm and gloss was gone. i tried to make her comfortable. On inquiring she told that her husband have a drinking problem and he got married to her under family pressure, he love someone else and he asked divorce after a month of marriage. I couldn't believe my ears. life is just too rude to some people. She got nothing even after compromising on her own happiness for parent's sake. I got more amazed when she told that her father knows everything. Raavi's dad had a good image in society, he didn't want Raavi to come back home, he wanted her to manage. as per his typical Indian mentality, this house was not Raavi's house,anymore.

Raavi was forced to go back to her husband's house. It was 7 March,2013 when i heard that she was no more. She committed suicide exactly after five months of her marriage. As far as i knew her, she would have fought to survive, i believe. I heard her parents crying their heart out. Probably, they will never be able to forgive themselves for what they did to their darling daughter. I heard some people gossiping in her obituary that she had an affair with a Muslim guy and probably that was the reason she couldn't adjust with her husband. I left the place in disgust. She didn't commit suicide, she was killed. Our society was her killer.

What if she would have married Kabir?

Bestie

2013-10-07T17:58:00.001+05:30

"Did you visit 975 recently?" My sister inquired.
"I hardly go there Di, you know i don't do hookah and all." "But, wait! what happened?"
"Some retard called, I scolded him like anything." she stated while making faces.
I hugged her in response. after all she trusted her teenage sister more than the one who called and complained.

"Your sister smoke, drink and dope." He called and complained. He was a so called friend. Don't know whether he was jealous or he had too much complications in his own life. He was too much interested in me and moreover in Neha, my Bestie. *Winks*.

After having a conversation with my sister, i went way too mad. How dare he to call my sister and how did he even find her number, i was wondering. Next day we bunked the very first lecture to discuss the recent hot topic. Neha lost her temper after knowing the matter, Neelu blamed me to be in touch with him. Prerna was a keen listener though. After mingling the ideas of different brains, we decided to talk to Gaurav. I called him and before he could say anything, i banged him with questions. "how dare you to call my sister, who do you think you are, you better stay out of my life or else I will call police and then i will not be responsible for your ruined life." I was not in a mood to hear a single word of clarification so i just hung up. I was calm now and so were my friends. He kept calling back but we didn't bother to pick up.

It was moreover a zoo than a class. One of our lecturer was on leave so basically people were celebrating the independence. We took our seats on the back. I got a buzz. " Pick up the phone or i will call your dad. he should know how much fun you are having." without a second thought i threw my phone, it hit the wall and fell down. The entire class went silent. everyone knew that we four were the best buddies from the first day of college and they assumed that probably we had a fight. I left the class in disgust to avoid unnecessary questions and arguments. I rushed down on the stairs where Neha held my hand from behind and asked me to stop. In response, I just hugged her tight and cried. I am a very impatient kind of person, it becomes hard for me to handle things alone at times, she knew all this very well so she tried her best to be there for me. We cried together. Today, when i go back and think about that moment, I realize, that was the best hug i ever received from anyone.

We came back to the class and decided to meet Gaurav after college. Neha dropped him a message and he agreed. Me and Neha reached at the decided place some 15 mins prior, we ordered stuff and sat in peace. He entered, Courtesy wise we asked him to sit. I continued eating my burger and sipping my ice tea as it was pre decided that Neha will be handling the problem "LOL". They kept on arguing and Neha kept on talking in my favor. We didn't offer him anything to eat. He didn't to deserve to eat on the same table, anyways. He left in some 15 minutes after getting insulted properly and we kept laughing for next 20 mins.

He left a text, late at night, " I am sorry to bother you and your friends. Take care."

Though it was not the last text i received from him and that was not the last issue he created, he went silent for a year or so.

Shoes & Emotions

2013-10-04T23:49:00.000+05:30

I didn't like my old shoes anymore. It had been six months since i was wearing them everyday. All my friends at school had better looking pair of shoes unlike me. Though dad used to polish them every second day, the original beauty of the shoes were lost long ago. I had strict instructions to do not demand for things as mom was quite concerned about my right upbringing. I was 7 years old, Class II i guess. I was quite afraid of my mom that time and even today she is the only lady who can shut me up and make me do what she wants.

One evening while dad was out, i gathered all my courage and asked mom for a new pair of shoes. I don't know why i didn't demand the same from dad, things would have gone easier that way. Mom smiled and said, "Next month for sure". It was mid month. I didn't like the response. I wanted new shoes at once, i didn't want to wait and what so special will happen next month, i thought but i couldn't dare to argue with her. Even today, i argue with mom only in dad's presence, he is my savior.Anyways she got me indulged in some other activities and i forgot about the shoes for some time.Dad arrived home late at night and i was asleep by then.

"Don't polish them" i said angrily to dad while getting ready for school the very next day. Dad hardly responded back but "mom" didn't like the way i talked to my father. She asked me to beg a pardon immediately. "I want new shoes or else i will not go to school, i get embarrassed when i see everyone wearing new shoes in the assembly, you guys just don't care", I concluded and as an award i received a tight slap on my left cheek. No need to mention that mom was the one who honored me with the same.

Day went okay after that, i didn't bother to talk to mom till i left home with dad to school. Dad consoled me a little by buying me chocolates and a set of pencils on the way, but all that hardly mattered.I wanted new shoes on priority but after the scene which was created back home, i knew the chances of getting them were quite low.

Dad came to pick me up from school and while walking back home he stooped at a shoe shop. I was surprisingly happy. He helped me in selecting the brand and the size. we bought a new pair of shoes. " Let her keep wearing the new one and place the old ones in the box" dad guided the shopkeeper. He paid 200/- bucks and he got a priceless smile on my face. "So, shouldn't we celebrate the arrival of new shoes", he asked with glittering eyes. How could i deny, we had a small ice cream party on the way and dad instructed me to do not tell mom about the new pair of shoes. I agreed.

Days passed and i kept the secret to myself. I don't know how dad manged to handle mom's endless questions about me being happy and not demanding all the time. My relationship with mom has always been a unique one. I am obviously more close to dad but i can't live without mom. Doesn't matter how harsh and rude she go at times, i love her and she is the reason of my survival. Coming back to the track, new month arrived and on the 1st day itself i got an another pair of shoes.

Mom is still not aware that once i donated my 10 days old pair of shoes to a poor girl.
Dad advised as he couldn't afford to hurt mom's emotions, strange my parents are.

Undefined

2013-10-02T22:52:00.001+05:30

"You are not talking to me, will call you later Bye bye bye bye!!" and he hung up. I was like..Damn! he was in a mood to talk, I should have utter more out of my freaking mouth. Magnetic power Aries people attain. He is one among my best friends, one among the people i am most close to. He was fast. He grabbed his place in my life..all of a sudden. When i first met him i never thought that i will end up meeting myself in a different anatomy.

He kept on talking and i kept of listening. I had no plans to interrupt his sentences but he somewhere had a feeling that i have been hiding something. Though it was our first encounter, he knew that i can not be so silent. So, he tried to pull me in the comfort zone and without much ado, I flew in his flow. Our likes, dislikes, hobbies, past, present and future, we talked about everything endlessly for the entire day. At the end he said, "so,we can be good friends." "Yes, we can be, i replied." I didn't know that i am going to mean it pure heartily.

We kept talking endlessly when ever we had spare time. We knew that we can not be each others priorities so there were no expectations and no demands. we shared all we felt like, including our emotions, feelings and secrets. we discussed our perspectives and at times he guided me like a mentor. He is differently awesome. I don't understand why people always end up defining a relation, some relations are best,undefined.

P.S.- Words won't be enough :) God Bless!

The Companion

2013-09-30T01:15:00.002+05:30

"Why do you keep so much of teddies on your bed, there is no space left to sit."
"Sit on couch then." I replied to my cousin. Like everyone else he was being rude to my toys. I was 17 and had 6 teddies with me. One of them was my favorite. "Nonu" i used to call her. She was bought to me by my best friends on my seventeenth birthday. Yes, it was a girl teddy as she had a pink outfit. After Nonu's arrival, my other toys had to face my continuous ignorance and slowly slowly they drifted apart. I didn't care much as i had Nonu. I shared almost everything with her. Her small eyes and light colored hair used to look perfect.

That day when everyone was at our place for a small get together, My 4 year elder cousin threw Nonu in air as he was irritated of the drama i used to do with my teddy. I stared at him for 5 seconds and then i threw a boul full of curd on his shirt. He couldn't respond back, in fact being the youngest member of the family, everyone supported me and scolded him for his ill behavior with Nonu.

Nonu was so close.I shared my secrets with her, i cried hugging her, i laughed with her. I talked to her endlessly at times in spite of accepting the fact that she was deaf and dumb. I used to feel happy after vomiting out my frustration in front of her and moreover i knew that first she wont get irritated or bored and second she won't pass on the matter to someone else. Trust worthy she was. On small trips, i carried her inside my bags as she was not that huge. I carried it to my college twice, just for fun. For four years every night she slept next to me, though i never found her eyes closed, i believed that she sleeps with me. The time when i relocated to Chandigarh, I made her accompany me.I had a friend there who had a blue color teddy. I didn't like the way he used to sit next to my princess. As I was over protective towards her, i used to lock her up in cupboard to save her from that devil blue teddy. Locking up was a little rude but there was no other way around. My feelings never changed for her from 17 years of age till 21.

Where is Nonu?? I asked in disgust as soon as i returned back from office in the month of July,2013. I searched her every where but all in vein. On inquiring i found that a kid came and kidnapped her.The kid liked her and and my family members were too generous to deny and snatch my Nonu back. "How could you guys let her go like that" I shouted. I lost her. I lost the best companion i had. I was sad. No one ever imagined that i will take this matter on heart. They consoled and said "Start loving living things dear rather than crying for the non-living ones." May be, it was so easy for them.

I cried my heart out, when i didn't feel her sleeping next to me that night.

Crush

2013-09-27T16:10:00.001+05:30

I get to see him for 15 minutes daily, during lunch. He is colleague, from a different department. I have never even waved him a Hi! but his colleague is my friend so basically we have a mutual friend. Though he have never expressed what he feels, he couldn't hide either. His expressions and body language say it all. Some 5'10, wheatish, smiling and you will find him wearing a shirt with jeans 90 % of the times. Dashing he look.

That day when i entered in the canteen, he was sitting alone. His phone ringed and i heard him for the first time. He was good at conversing.I hardly go to his department but when ever i go, his eyes make me feel conscience. Why does not he say anything, i don't understand. He can as we cross paths many a times in a day. The worst part is, i am unable to gather the courage to even say a hello to him and the funny part is, i don't even know his name. In day to day life i am a kinda girl who can talk to everyone and anyone. may be, he is an exception. Let's let him be one, i think at times. I will wait for him to initiate or else he may repent. *Winks*

By the way i could not see him during lunch, today. I unknowingly started looking for him. He was sitting on my back. I turned around to see him and he smiled.

Hope, this is not the end of the story.

Random

2013-09-26T18:16:00.000+05:30

She was crying when i picked up her call. Yes we hardly talk now. Family, job and difference in priorities lead us here. she was my best friend but now i think i am hardly bothered about her life. She was having a hard time in corporate and she called me for some guidance. "Let it go dear if it is not serving you anymore" I stated in short. she was confused. thats how we are, we get attached to things and then it becomes hard for us to leave them and move on. let it be our personal relationships or career.

I have a very good friend who was stucked there in memories of his ex girl friend for long. finally he moved on but still he says that he will go for an arrange marriage as he have already concluded that love is not his cup of tea. That is how our generation is..We reach to the conclusions very soon. We keep ourselves so much stressed up. we expect too much out of ourselves and then when we fail, we get hurt.

I learned from my three years old relationship to don't take anything for granted. he was perfect when i started dating him but one day he suddenly left, saying he wanna move on. Infact he got a better opportunity. he found some one better to spend time with. Yes he was good at heart as he didn't hide his feelings, let it be a proposal or a break up..he was true to me and himself. I got hurt but i realized that its fine to let people go if they want and never keep a hope for them to come back.Time heals almost every thing.Expectations hurt real bad. When i was small i couldn't wait to grow up but here we are..grown up idiots.

I could hardly recall that i like writing till someone came in and made me realize. Its fine to do not have all you want. It's fine if you can't shop endlessly. Its fine if you have been dumped. Its fine if you are still dependent on your parents. its fine if you scored less in exams. its fine if you didn't hit the appraisal this year. But. it's not fine to leave small smiles in sake of big achievements. There is no fun if you get promoted on the day of your break up. No fun in shopping if your head is aching so its balance which is mandatory.

Increasing the level of acceptance and decreasing the level of expectations may help. Doing something everyday which satisfies your soul, may be singing or cooking or reading or roaming, may help too. Giving a less damn to what people think can solve 90 percent of problems.Other 10 percent will get solved if we start chasing the path to our happiness. We are here to be happy and make others happy leave everything else on almighty, its fine to do not have all the answers.

Live to the fullest. Have faith. Fall in love. Have fun. Get hurt and try again. That is how life is..it make us learn in it's own way.

Walking Tooth-brush

2013-09-24T17:36:00.001+05:30

"Dad see this toothbrush walks" I screamed in excitement pointing my index finger towards TV. I was 5. Dad acted surprisingly.."Is it..wow!!" I instantly demanded for it. Mom asked me to calm down. Dad bought me the walking brush very next day. Though it was good at brushing teeth but i never found him walking. I was disappointed. "Dad, the shopkeeper didn't give you the right brush, see it doesn't walk, the one which is there in the TV walks, runs and even plays hide and seek." I stated one night while laying down next to him. He didn't say anything in revert. he pecked my forehead and hugged me to sleep.

One morning, Dad woke me up in excitement "I caught your brush in the corridor." he said. Hawww where was it going ?? i asked with curious eyes. "Don't know sweets", he responded. It was a mixed feeling, though i wanted the brush to play around but i didn't want it to get lost somewhere. Dad asked me to do not worry, he said that when he bought the brush, it was small, now as it had grown up it started walking, running and playing. I realized, he bought the right brush for me and now it was my responsibility to keep it safe.

Every night I slept with my walking pink toothbrush and every morning i hunted for it. Sometimes i found it in another room, sometimes on stairs and sometimes in the bathroom. It loved to walk around in nights, I believed. The suspense was continuously increasing. I shared my problem with the friends i had in school but no one had a solution of such a serious problem. Finally i approached mom. She thought over the matter and came up with a solution, as expected.

"So, the toothbrush have feet and it roams around in night" she asked while demonstrating. Yes, i sadly replied. "What if we detach its feet in night?" It wont be able to walk, I jumped in excitement and trust me that worked, the brush was always at the right place after that.

But I still wonder, Why did my brush never attempt to walk in mornings.

Destiny

2013-09-23T17:49:00.000+05:30

"Will you go on a coffee date with the person who commented above you" One of the testimonials in a community called "I love my Dad", introduced us. I was 17 that time. College going fun loving backbencher. we got in touch on orkut. It was a mutual understanding rather than an infatuation. I talked a lot to him about everything including my college, family, friends and boyfriend. He was mature, some 24 years old. i always found a good friend in him. He supported me psychologically at each step, let it be my career or personal relationships. We were good friends till i completed my post graduation but then things changed. In the span of those three years we never exchanged numbers. We chatted, we wrote mails or we posted on each other's walls. Our frequency of chatting used to vary. Sometimes everyday, sometimes once in three days and sometimes once in a week, based on his availability and my convenience.Once he didn't ping me for an entire month, that was something unusual.

I wrote him a mail asking his wellness and providing my contact number. We texted for some days before i heard him for the first time. It was a long conversation and only i was uttering. He was a keen listener, same as he was on chats. He was silent and soothing. I found him mature and understanding, once again. His writing skills were ultimate. his long texts made me feel special, like i never did. All this was happening to me for the first time, he was actually treating me like a princess without expecting anything in return. It was blissful.

One morning from nowhere i texted, "Why do you treat me like a princess?" "You deserve to be." he replied. I was not convinced with the answer so i provoked him to vomit out the fact. He was falling for me from last many years and genuinely, i felt bad for him. I knew i will not be able to help it. I was still not over my previous relationship. I tried to explain him things several times but he proved me wrong. He was very stubborn or may be he was so much in love with me. After trying for quite a some time, i couldn't resist and started liking his deeds. We talked for long hours in night, hoping it to last forever.

One fine day when i was enjoying my weekend with my friends in a disc, he called. He proposed me for marriage. "I will wait till your career stabilize" he promised. Being daddy's little girl, i conveyed all the matter to dad. He took time to think over it and didn't come up with a positive response. I knew this will happen. He was fine with my parent's decision. We will be friends always, we thought but its tough to keep yourself away from something you love for real so we started again, the more we tried to back off the more we fell for each other. I was bothered about him. he was emotionally weak though i was quite fine. Fortunately or unfortunately our horoscope didn't match and finally i got a solid reason to give him a peaceful future. I wanted him to be out of the mess. i wanted him to settle down and be happy because happiness was all he deserved and anyways i had been hurting him since long.

"How are you?" I whats app-ed him after two months of break. He was engaged and i was really happy for him. He did sound happy and satisfied and that was quite sufficient to kill my guilt consciences. Everything happens for good, i concluded. It was all destined.

I am glad that he owns one of the most beautiful chapters in the book of my life.

And somewhere in-between, I "somewhat" grew up.

2013-09-22T23:28:00.000+05:30

"I want to be a doctor. I will marry someone who will fight with gangsters to save me. I will never leave my parents. When i will grow up and will get married, my husband will come to my house to stay with me. I will always be the class topper. I love to dress like a boy. School is so boring. When will i switch to a pen from pencil? Will i be selected for the dance competition? " Age-Nine

"I hope my parents won't get to know about the test in which i scored less. How will i introduce my dad to maths teacher in parents teacher meeting. Being a doctor is probably not a good idea. I think that he have a crush on me. Why the hell does my class teacher always stand me up to read the news in assembly. Why can't school canteen have some delicious food. Why the hell is mom so irritating. Why can't i hang around with friends. Why can't i wear short skirts rather than boring jeans, all the time. I love my best friend. Long nails look good. I wish i could go to school with untied hair. Extra classes, wow !! i will get to wear casuals. Finally, he bought me a scooty. Awww' my dad is the best."Age-Thirteen.

"They deny me for everything, I hate my parents. I neither wanna study science nor commerce, probably literature will be good for me in graduation. I wish school gets over soon. When will mom allow me to go for a night out. why can't i keep a phone. I hate diagrams. Practical files are complete waste of time. I hope our bunking plan to work. Physics teacher is so irritating. My class is full of witches. How does my hair look. How much will i score in boards. A kajal pencil is must and most importantly when will i grow up?? " Age-Seventeen.

"Phew! I hope the cut off to be lower this time. Any college in north campus will work. Any course, i just wanna be a graduate. Who wants to live with parents. He is my first and last love. Whom should i ask for proxy. College trip wow! it should never end. My friends rock but they rarely help me with studies. I wanna loose weight. I hope to get a job soon. I will marry him, we will a small house on the beach side, he will love me more than his life. I love texting and social networking. How many likes did my picture get on facebook. Online friends are interesting to chat with. I hope i somehow clear all papers in one go. Money is a must. One day i will earn so much and i will buy everything i crave for. Friends are not everything, i have to have a job. After getting a job, i will go on a long vacation." Age- Twenty.

And here i am. some 21 year and 6 months old. Independent. I work from 9:30 to 6pm. I agrees on whatever my manager says. I love to sleep on weekends. Shopping..yeah i do, if i need something. I stay far from my parents and i miss them a lot. Relationship is for losers. I am not planning to get married till 27 at least. I have a huge group to hang out with. I have few best friends. Social networking is fine till i don't see any recent updates from my ex boyfriend. I have more connections on linked in than friends on Facebook. Once in a month, i eat out. My bag should always carry some basic cosmetics for touch up. My skin should be glowing, all the time. Movies are the real bliss. there should be a day between Saturday and Sunday.I am allergic to spices. I have no savings in my bank account. I have a long wishlist which includes a studio apartment and a car. Though i don't want to be in a relationship, i am waiting for a perfect one. Hobbies..what are they? I don't easily trust people. i wish to spend a long vacation with my mom and dad. I love to be a part of get togethers, let it be of college or school. I miss my college like hell and schooling was the best phase. I have nothing to wear. Everything is so expensive. My salary is not increasing but my wishes...they have no end.

And somewhere in between, I "somewhat" grew up.

To be continued..

Scary House

2013-09-22T11:36:00.001+05:30

Why don't you understand i can't live without you, please be with me Pari. I wanna spend my entire life with you, Will you marry me? "C'mon, I am just 21 and i am with you as a friend, why do you want us to be in a relationship, don't complicate Rahul, for god sake." I can wait baby, just say yes. "I don't know, probably i need some days to think over it." Finally, he nodded in agreement without arguing. Let's not spoil our today's plan, he said holding my right hand. "Where are we going but?" i asked in excitement.

Rahul was a good friend, we met in a family party for the first time. Today, he proposed me for the seventh time in last 8 months, every time i came up with a different excuse...talent you see *Winks*. I was commitment phobic and he accepted the fact. I don't know what Rahul was, even after all the mess, i could see him loving me unconditionally, as a friend. We spent almost every weekend together. we both liked exploring new places, so in short he was a good company.

"So Pari, Have you ever been to scary house?" he interrupted my thoughts. "No and i don't even wanna go, Rahul." I gave a tense look. "You never say yes to me" he concluded while making faces. Okay we will see, i said. He bought two tickets of scary house as soon as we entered in the mall. Stubborn he was, i knew. Lets get in, Pari. nothing will happen, i am here by you, he said while rubbing my arms.

We entered in, it was all dark with some scary sounds in the background. I held Rahul's hand tightly... you are here na? he didn't reply. Rahul, i shouted and shaked the hand i was holding. OMFG! it was a witch's hand, i saw her in the dim light. She had long teeth and messy hair. What made me hold that hand i don't know. I screamed in dark, closing my eyes. I could feel someone giggling behind and then he hugged me tight. "My dumb Pari, he stated." I was too afraid to move an inch, forward or backward. I could feel his entire body next to mine. We chose not to talk. He tried to loosen up after 3 minutes, "Let's flow, i said." "You sure, you wont repent this"? Rahul asked, being caring. "This way sir, someone peeped in." we hummed. I kept clutching his hand tightly, more over i was swinging on his arm. I hardly opened my eyes till we got out. We were in out house now, where they gave people space and time to get back to the reality, i hardly cared.

Rahul was continuously laughing on my bad performance in the scary house. "Irritating it was, I asked you to do not go there", i said in disgust. He kept laughing his lungs out in response. I turned over to move, ignoring him. He held my hand and hugged me from behind. "I love you, he confessed." I couldn't respond, I could feel his warm breaths on the back of my neck, tickling. By slightly touching the end of my shoulders, he made me turn. we were facing each other, now. I could feel the butterflies in my tummy. There was no one around and for the first time since we knew each other, his presence made me feel helpless. He leaned in and kissed my lower lip. I closed my eyes in surrender. He further tasted my upper lip and we carried it on. we kissed, in passion. I could feel his hands on my waist while my hands were clutching his shirt from behind. Heavenly it was, my first kiss. We broke the kiss after 4 minutes. I was breathing hard by then and so was he. we exchanged smiles. I hugged him tight saying "I love you,too."

An Encounter with Physics

2013-09-22T00:45:00.001+05:30

I think i am done with packing, what say papa? "What else would you like to carry except biscuits and waffers", Mom interrupted. "Nothing Mom, Chill! I will not be starving there and i will be coming home every weekend anyways." It was my own decision to get into a boarding school, after spending 10 years in the same damn day boarding. Dad didn't want me to stay away from home, mom was fine but then i was always stubborn enough to convince him anyhow. I opted for biology in 11 standard against my mom's will. I had no idea how will i manage in a new atmosphere, I knew that my new school is going to be little different but life gives you big surprises at times, much much bigger than you expect.

You sure you want to be here?, dad asked. Hmm..I will manage, i replied. I waved him a goodbye and entered into my all new classroom. All new faces, i saw. I was quite famous in my old school but here i was an alien...they were staring at me like that. "What is your good name"? someone asked from behind. "Aparajita" i responded with a smile. "What is the Newton's third law of motion, dear?" he asked ignoring the entire class which was still standing on the right in their class teacher's honor. I didn't know the answer or may be i knew but i couldn't respond. "How much marks did you obtain in class 10th?" he further questioned. "80 % sir, I replied while looking at the marble flooring." No one ever talked to me like this, how could he insult me like this in front of the entire class, that too on the very first day, I was offended. I hated him for no reason. "Unit tests are on head, be prepared, if you fail i will transfer you to the commerce stream, he warned, insulting further." I just nodded. I was never too good at science and i had almost nil idea, what was physics about and then an outstanding introduction to the entire class, hell demotivated i was.

"Don't worry, he is like this only to everyone." The girl sitting next to me on the last bench stated with a smile. I hardly cared. Only thing in my mind was clearing the upcoming unit tests. I didn't want to study commerce, i said to myself. I was afraid once again. Rest of the day went well. other teachers were quite polite and normal unlike my rude class teacher, i thought. Days passed. Everyday i struggled with physics. I hardly understood the lessons, he taught. Probably i was too afraid to even concentrate. Unit tests arrived and i did really bad. The question paper had 4 numericals and 3 theory questions. I hardly knew any of the answers.

That morning, I didn't get up for physical training. It was the day of results. My mind was all prepared to face the insult. he entered with the answer sheets in hand. One by one he announced the name of student along with the marks obtained. My heart beat was increasing with every announcement he made. Everyone got their answer sheets except me. I was pretty sure that i failed the test. "Aparajita, he finally called." Please meet me in person after class, he further added. Now this was completely unexpected. i was expecting a great insult and a switch in my stream however it was not the end of the story, i knew.

"You are quite good at biology and english, what is the problem with physics then?" he shooted as soon as i met him in the staff room. I had no answer. "Please concentrate or else you will not be able to pass the exams, we do not spoon feed here like other schools." he handed me over my answer sheet. i got 9 out of 25. i left the staffroom in disgust. That's it, i thought. i am not taking it any further, by hook or crook i will perform better in next unit test. Time passed really fast. Another unit test arrived, i was ready with all gulped answers and fortunately i did better this time. I got 18 out of 25 but my teacher was least bothered about praising my efforts. he kept on insulting me for other reasons, he always tried to demotivate, he was always sarcastic. I accepted the fact that its his nature and that's not gonna change. Entire year, i kept hiding from him, let it be the classroom, assembly or games. My mantra of staying away from him and his harsh statements was attaining good marks in physics, anyhow. My image was quite good with other teachers so somehow I managed to pass an year over there.

My dad accompanied me on the day of final results. My class teacher was eagerly distributing respective results to students along with his expert comments. Rude he was, we all knew. Once again, my mind was ready to bear the harsh reality he used to utter. I reached his table, dad followed. "Hello Sir, he greeted my dad. Your daughter is such a fighter, Her name completely suits her personality, she is really gonna do very well in her career, a little impulsive she is, nervous at times. the only problem is, she keep waiting for an ignition to get started, the more she get insulted, the better she performs, she coped up well, she is quite good in extra curricular too, here is the report card, she obtained grade B in physics but she is brilliant in biology and literature." I couldn't believe whatever i heard. I gave my teacher a smile, probably the first time in an entire year. He stood up, patted my back and said, "Keep it up girl, I hope to see you with flying colors in next session."