Write Like No One's Watching

We Have The Date for Surgery

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 12 Jan 2017 16:21:00 GMT

I was sat at our kitchen table this morning, trying to feed a baby porridge that she didn't really want. Mark had just left for work. And I could feel that part of the table had dried Weetabix on it, which made me frown. I was listening to the noise from the television on the wall. Something about that platypus that Bill likes so much. And I saw my phone flash, so I picked it up absentmindedly. And took a sip of my coffee.

And then I felt myself crying.

Our cleft nurse had messaged me the date for Daisy's surgery.

And it has been something we had been waiting for, and counting down to for a while. And we knew it was coming. We had been treating it as a positive thing. That last step for our little girl. And then it would be behind us for the most part.

But when I saw the date, I didn't feel that way at all. I don't want to take our daughter back to the hospital we left behind. I don't want to try and be brave. And I don't want to see her go under, and say goodbye to her and leave her in a white clinical room while people crowd around her. I don't want to surrender my baby. The last time I did that, I had to sign a consent form to say that, if anything happened, they could put a tube through her neck. And change her future forever.

That was when I clung to her still-warm sleepsuit and cried. When I needed Mark to hold me up. And when I sat in a hospital canteen, staring into space, clutching my phone, and a special buzzer that would go off when she was out.

This is different. And I know that. This is a really good thing. Daisy will be able to suck. She will be able to drink from any old bottle or cup. She could use a straw. She will be able to learn more words. And will finally be able to say 'Dada' for her Dada. Which I think would make him happier than she could ever know.

She will be able to go from strength-to-strength. And I can't stand in the way of that.

But I am already mourning those little cleftie noises she makes. The growls. The Darth Vader noises. The grunts. The way she pushes air through her mouth when she is excited. They will be things of the past. They will stay behind with the days of tubes and specialist feeding bottles. And snorting peas through her nose.

I am scared for her to be in pain. I am scared that someone is going to be in charge of my daughter's life. I am scared that they will have instruments and tiny knives and equipment. That they will use to put her back together again, when to me, she is not broken. She is perfect. And I just have to wait in that canteen again. I will most likely have to see her with the tube down her nose, the one that used to keep her alive. And I know I will find that hard. I will want to see my little girl's face when she comes back to me. And instead I will have to gently kiss a taped cheek. And hold her tight.

My sweet girl has been through so much. And I knew that this was going to be hard. It is why I tried my best to start this year with as much positivity and strength that I could muster. But I did not realise quite how quickly the dark clouds of guilt would return. And how it would leave me feeling too.

28 years ago, well, almost 29 now, I was born. And my parents went through this once too. And it didn't stop with me. I passed it on to my daughter. And I still can't believe that she was me. I was her. I was little, and small, and I don't remember much of the pain or the hospital trips. I only really remember a happy childhood. And small parts of my medical history. But mainly I just know what I was told. She and I are cut of the same cloth, but maybe the colours are different, and the way our fabric falls is different. But she is as close as I know to myself, in this world, in many ways.

But to be a parent - it is moments like these that I won't ever forget.

I am so scared to let go of my baby girl and let this happen. But at the same time I am so excited to know that she will have a future like mine, that is free of all of this, unless perhaps history repeats itself again and she has a baby of her own.

I want her to know that I am so proud of her. I cannot believe how much she takes in her stride.

I know that the anticipation of this happening is most likely going to be worse than the operation itself.

And I know that we will come out of the other side like we always do.

But tonight, I am just scared.

I just want it to be over.

I just want her to know I think she is perfect as she is. And that, when she wakes, and she hurts, and she is scared, I will be there.

And I will do anything to help her feel better. To help her recover. And to help her realise how beautiful, strong and utterly wonderful she is.

But for now, when the 14th February 2017 rolls around, I will wish you love and some time with the one you adore.

But in return, could you send a little bit of luck to her?

Dear 2016 - My Beautiful Mess

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Dec 2016 15:34:00 GMT

Today is the 30th December 2016; the penultimate day of this year.

This time, a whole year ago, I was pregnant. I was about 24 weeks or so, if my memory serves me well. Daisy had made herself quite at home in my vastly growing belly. And I was due to celebrate New Year's Eve, and my lovely Dad's birthday, at our house. We were getting a takeaway, and various family members were going to drop-in on their way to something far more glamorous and glitzy. But I was quite content for what the next evening had in store. I could tuck my baby boy in bed, and see in the New Year I had been longing for.

2016 was the year our family would grow by one. We'd be a fearless foursome. Stronger together. Never apart. Bill would turn four. We'd get one last summer of babyhood before he started school in September. I'd finally finish our house. Sort the garden out while my baby girl slept in the shade. We'd go to a friend's wedding in Malta and I'd fit in the dress I bought in the sales. I'd breastfeed again. I would enjoy my maternity leave. Meeting friends I'd made in a postnatal group. Nipping into Manchester to surprise Mark for lunch. Introducing Daisy to our friends and colleagues. I'd spend the early newborn days in pyjamas and I wouldn't put any pressure on myself to be anything other than how I wanted to be in those moments.

I had high hopes for 2016.

And I have had conversations with Mark before about my approach to life. Because I place too much hope into things. And I always have done. I am an eternal optimist, and sometimes I have a habit of making a fool out of myself by believing in things so much, that, when they let me down, fall through, or never materialise, I am left in a heap of disappointment, wondering: "Why?"

Of all of my dreams that I had for 2016, many of them did not come true. And obviously - some of them included getting a body like Beyoncé, and that was never going to happen was it? But some of them were really simple things. Just day-to-day experiences, like lying on the sofa with a newborn baby, while visitors came round with cards and balloons, and hugs of congratulations. Staring at my day-old baby in her crib next to me and marvelling at her as Mark slept beside me and Bill dreamed away in his bed next door.

For a long time, I battled with the cards that I had been dealt. I didn't want them. I didn't know how to play them in this game of life. And I was happy to throw them down on the table, walk away from that table, and refuse to play.

NICU, battling the guilt of passing on a syndrome, fighting a tracheostomy diagnosis, learning how to pass tubes down a screaming baby's airway, feeling isolated, feeling lost, having to be a carer and a nurse before even contemplating being a mum, feeling like I'd let my son down, feeling like I'd let myself down, crying every day for months, worrying my baby would stop breathing, watching the saturations monitor like a hawk, hospital after hospital appointment, watching myself gain weight but not being able to stop comfort eating, feeling jealous, feeling like I've failed - all of it was mentally and physically exhausting. Sometimes I would just pray for sleep. And I would spend most days wondering when it would get better.

Would it get better?

But here and now, at the very end of the year, I realise that, while there was much I had hoped to achieve, but didn't, there was so much that I did.

I had a baby girl. We named her Daisy Nelle. She was and is perfect, and has brought us so much joy, even in the moments of worrying ourselves sleepless over her. She is crawling, waving, kissing. She says my name. She beams at every soul who gives her the time of day. And she has an insurmountable strength that I think will take her very far. Daisy does not believe in obstacles.

My son, on the other hand, is a giver of strength. A sensitive, hopeful soul. In the weeks when his sister was in hospital, he was the only person who could make Mark and I smile. He gave me someone to keep trying for. I learnt to laugh again because of him. He turned four. He started school. He took on brotherhood like it was the role he had been waiting for. I owe him a lot. He kept me strong this year.

I have Mark. Still. Even now. We began on such a rocky course, we met and fell in love in circumstances that neither of us would have chosen had we had been asked many years ago. I didn't envisage having two children by two different men and having to bare my stretched, child-bearing body to someone new who I desperately wanted to love me back. I wanted to give him the best of me and instead it felt like he got the rest of me. But we have overcome so much together. We gave each other a daughter, and when I watched him hold her, in NICU, a tangle of wires, arms and baby, with a tenderness and a visible pain, I promised myself I would love him forever. And I mean it. There is no one in this world for me but him.

I achieved even when I didn't think I was. I made a choice on a whim to join a club to lose weight and here I am, two stone lighter. I look like how I feel I am supposed to. I feel proud. I feel strong. I feel, sometimes, even beautiful. And that's not just because there is less of me to take in, and that beauty is all in relation to size (because we all know that is bollocks), it's because I loved myself enough to do something to make me happy. Taking control of my body was the first step I made in taking control of my life again. I picked up those cards that I was dealt and I thought: "Come on then. I'll play. But I'll win." And you know what? I think I am.

I didn't reach 10,000 subscribers on YouTube, or Instagram, by the end of the year, but I worked hard enough, while everything else was going on, to be able to hand in my notice at work and tentatively make plans to work for myself. I might fail, and that's actually a probable thing. Not just me being coy or modest. I don't have the certainty of a guaranteed wage every month, but I can only promise myself and my family that I will work as hard as I possibly can. The opportunity, as it presents itself, is the biggest blessing. A chance to try - just that chance itself - is enough to make me feel like I have come very far this year.

I didn't finish our kitchen. I have a single pair of white cupboard doors and the rest are still brown. I could try and say that this is a metaphorical thing, but really, it just looks a bit stupid. I should have left them as they were for now, and resolved to do it when things were more steady. I should have probably asked for help. I should stop trying to fix things and leave them as they are most probably. But I tried, and failed, and there is always next year.

And therein lies the point. While nothing is for certain, of course, next year is just two days away. And, as far as I know, next year is mine for the taking.

But, unlike the Charlotte of a year ago, who anticipated 2016 with great enthusiasm, and a whole lot of added pressure, with a list of things that must happen, should happen, would happen, I just want 2017 to be the year that I live.

I don't have a script to follow this time. I don't have lines to learn or a new character to welcome to my story. I am utterly done with writing chapters that life cannot fulfil.

I wrote a story for 2016 and it was a masterpiece. There was a heroine, and she had health, wealth, happiness and love. Every page was filled with details and intricacies. Every chapter had me wanting more. Until one day, it was soaked by rain, and I could not remember the words, or what happened next. The pages stuck together, the ink flooded into pools of black, and it swirled into patterns that meant absolutely nothing to me.

I could not read it anymore. No matter how hard I tried. This was not the story I was expecting when I first opened that book. Instead, in my hands, I had a beautiful, beautiful mess. My story was rewritten. And so was my family's. And it did not, at times, make any sense at all. It was not, at times, fair. But its pages were bursting with life, bursting with love, and bursting with the very essence of me.

But now it is time for that book to be shelved in the dusty tombs of my mind. Placed on a shelf, the last in line for the following year, next to 2015, 2014, 2013 - a long line that dates right back to 1988.

And now, I have in front of me, an empty book, an empty diary, the number 2017 etched on the front. Its pages are new and crisp with promise.

But it shall stay unwritten this time. It can fill itself, while I go and find out what 2017 has in store for me.

I don't even want just to 'be happy'. Because sometimes you need to be sad.

I just want to be.

So dear, dear 2016. You brought me a lot of grief and sadness. But you also taught me a lot about myself. And you were also so very beautiful. And for that reason, I will never forget you.

2016. My beautiful mess.

Sharing Your Children at Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 14:59:00 GMT

I've been coparenting my son for longer than I've ever parented any other way.

His father and I went our separate ways on Boxing Day three years ago, and it was the best decision for both of us. But it wasn't one without heartache. You sometimes have to choose yourself in life, over your children, because, ultimately, that is the best decision for them too. Though seeing that at the time is like trying to see the wood for the trees.

I didn't know that, through the clearing of trees there would be a whole new wood, and Mark, and a new place for us to start afresh. Because I couldn't tell the future. I only knew that, in the present, my son's father and I, were not happy. There was no wood, there was no Mark, there was just me and my son and a chance to take.

The first Christmas was already just over when we were. And then the second I had Bill for Christmas - he was still quite small at just two - and then his dad had him for New Year's.

But, as time passed, both of us, as parents, were not happy to lose out on alternate years. Not seeing your child on Christmas Day is heartbreaking. For me, the magic of Christmas lives on in my children, now I am very much old enough to understand that Father Christmas is usually Neil from the village in an itchy suit, and that the person that ate the mince pie was Mark, and the person that nibbled the carrot was me. I know that the magic is love. And, as corny as that sounds, we all know it's true, and we all know it's okay to admit at this time of year.

So last year, we decided to split Christmas down the middle. I was due a New Year's with my son, so I took Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning, and his dad took Christmas Day afternoon and Boxing Day. And, either way, you can't quite win.

I was pregnant with Bill's little sister, and extremely hormonal. The run-up to Christmas caused me a lot of grief. And it was something I couldn't quite prepare for. I didn't expect it to hit me, cold in the face like a snowball with perfect aim. I cried a lot. And even my midwife kept a close eye on me, because she could see how down I had become.

Maybe it was pregnancy that caused those feelings to heighten. Maybe it was because it was our last Christmas as a family of three. Bill, Mark and I - we had come together and were a real family now. Or maybe it was just that first year of acceptance.

Either way, my Christmas was spent slightly far away. I was present in the gift of the present, of course I was, but my heart was somewhere else. I wondered what he was doing. My smiles took longer to fill my face. And even though my daughter wiggled away inside me, I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't a mum.

We had a last-minute Christmas Day on Christmas Eve, and it was magical. But I never shared the photographs or the footage I captured. And I dug it out today and cried tears of happiness, because it was so special, regardless. And my little boy was so tiny. I edited and posted it live today so I would never lose it.

I think, in the early days of coparenting, it is easier to hate the other parent of your child. Many splits end badly and, to be honest, in our case, I think we both needed to hate each other for a short while. I really do. I think we needed to let out our frustrations that had built up, and work out a new way of doing things on fresh ground, still smoking from the last blazing, fiery row.

During those times of hate, it was easier to make selfish decisions, because you could kid yourself that it was not your responsibility to care about this person anymore. And you want your child for yourself. Of course you do. You are human. It's fine to admit it.

But as time has passed, I very much understand that emotions are often mirrored, and when I hurt, that means his dad hurts. And it means that a lot of other parents hurt too. And I certainly would never use the word 'hate' anymore at all.

This year, I have kept busy and put Christmas in the distance - I can see it if I squint. But it's not been in focus. But today is the last real day of working for me. Even if it is sat in my living room, on a battered office chair, while my baby naps, my son is enjoying his last school day of the year, and Mark is relaxing on the sofa behind me.

But, truthfully, Christmas is not even around the corner, it just a few doors down. And I have had to think and look it square in the face.

And this year? I am okay, you know. I am sad that I won't get to do the excited tuck-up in bed on Christmas Eve, or put reindeer food out, or nibble the carrot and watch Mark gladly scoff the mince pie and give the cats the milk.

But I'm quite happy to pass on the platter we put the treats for Father Christmas and his reindeer to Bill's dad if it helps make it special for him. I'm quite happy to send the reindeer food. And I'm quite happy to do anything that my son might need to feel loved and special.

When I became a mother, I told myself I would do my absolute best to keep the magic of childhood alive for my kids. I would be a mixture of Maria from Sound of Music, Mary Poppins and a touch of Nigella for the festive food. Maybe I just like Julie Andrews too much, but the fact remains - I want this to be about my children.

This year I have two babies. One will leave my side. And the other will clutch at my hair and grin a two-toothed grin at me with shining eyes, whilst not having the faintest clue what is happening and why her mother's eyes may be slightly wet with held-back tears.

I owe it to Daisy to keep Christmas magical for her too. And I will keep smiling and keep going because she deserves that.

We will start our Christmas missing a very important person.

But he is coming home to us. And on Christmas Day, when the clock strikes twelve, midday, my firstborn will be at my door, grinning, his breath hitting the cold air making whorls around him, and desperate to get inside and see what Father Christmas has left him at home.

And I will hold him close. Breathe a sigh of relief into his fluffy blonde hair. But I will stop and look up, at his dad, and I will try and let him know that I understand.

And I will wish him Merry Christmas.

Because, another year older, and another year wiser, I realise that this is what Christmas is about.

Christmas is so much more than a day. It is a feeling that, if we could bottle up, we'd open it every day.

Parenting is so much more than a day. It is much the same. Except we are a mother, or a father, every day. And whether near or far, happy or sad, nothing in the world can take that away from you.

"What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store? What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more?"
Dr. Seuss - How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Also - if you are having a tough time this Christmas, please watch this video from Channel Mum - it contains stories from me and some other amazing mums. I promise you aren't alone.

You could also watch this one below.

A Graco Christmas Competition

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 13:24:00 GMT

As you may have noticed, I have been part of Generation Graco for December, and I've posted three reviews of some of their latest products. You can read our review of the Nimble Nook, the Milestone Car Seat and the Modes 3 Lite if you'd like, but, in the spirit of Christmas, I have one last, short and sweet post in the form of a giveaway.

Yup, Graco are giving away a Milestone Car Seat, a Swivi Booster Seat, and a Nimble Nook to one lucky winner. That is over £350 worth of amazing parenting prizes for you and your little ones.

When you are a parent, every little milestone counts doesn't it? From bringing them home all curled up in their car seat, or seeing them take their first steps, or that very first tooth, or that first sleepover with Granny while you get to go on a date night. It all matters and it's all worth celebrating. And Graco are celebrating the launch of the Milestone Car Seat this year - their very own baby - which Graco are understandably proud of, which is why this giveaway is taking place.

We've had the pleasure of trying both the Milestone and the Nimble Nook and they are great products that will take you from birth and beyond, and I'm sure the Swivi is just the same.

To enter, all you need to do is like this post on Facebook, before midnight on 31st December. You should easily have time to do that before Christmas!

Good luck to all of you who enter. And Merry Christmas!

Graco Milestone All-in-One Car Seat Review

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 13:11:00 GMT

The final review from our selection of Graco products is the Graco Milestone All-in-One Car Seat. Now, car seats are a very sensitive subject, because the safety of your children is of the utmost importance isn't it? Regulations for children and car travel are changing over time - the UK law now states that children must use a child car seat until they're 12 years old or 135cm (4ft 5in) tall, whichever comes first, as an example.

I also feel it is worth stating that there is an ongoing discussion over the benefits of extended rear-facing, and, as a mother of two, this is something that is speaking louder and louder to me, the more I read or hear of it. And that is something I have taken into account in this review, as I think that car seats are much more complex to review, in comparison to a pram or a travel cot, as I've done previously.

So, now the serious stuff is out of the way, let's get started with the Graco Milestone review.

Suitability

So, the Milestone is a 3-in-1 car seat that converts into three different car seats - a bit like a Transformer, except perhaps less jazzy. And, as I mentioned before, given the new UK car seat guidelines for children, this would be a perfect option to see from birth through to 12 years of age.

I think this is a really key point to make, because having a child is not exactly a cheap option to make in life. And there are a lot of things that are absolutely necessary and unavoidable, especially when it comes to their safety. And a car seat is right up there with a purchase you need to make, if you have a car.

So, the car seat converts in to three stages:

First stage: Group 0, rear facing, ages 0+, suitable for 0-13kg.
Second stage: Group 1, forward facing with harness, suitable for up to 18kg.
Third stage: Group 2/3, high-backed booster that uses the seat belt, suitable from 15-36kg.

So really, this means you can bring them home as a tiny, curled up newborn bundle, and then see them way into high school with school runs all made from one car seat - it could potentially even outlast your actual car!

Ease of use

Now, when you hear that the Milestone has three different stages, you'd probably think that it means you need to keep different parts and pieces safe for moving up as your child grows. But the best thing about the Milestone is that what you see is what you get - you use the red handle at the top of the car seat to expand it, based on height, by pulling it upwards. And the level at the bottom takes it into different reclines (two for the first stage) or stages (1, 2 and 3), best suited for your little one. The only thing you need remove is the padding suitable for younger babies. But that's one thing to look after and keep safe, rather than a whole box full.

The harness straps for the first two stages have a compartment where they can be folded away and stored, keeping them safe, should the car seat go from one child to another over time.

Installation

The Graco Milestone fixes into cars using the seatbelt, which is convenient for some families like us, who have a car that is not compatible with Isofix. This is actually a bug-bear of mine though, and our next car most certainly will have that feature! So, depending on you and your preferences, the seatbelt fix may be a perk or a downside.

Our experience

So, we've been trying the Milestone out with our daughter Daisy, who is currently eight months old. We have had the Milestone for a couple of weeks and I have to say that it has been a real joy to use. It seems so sturdy and secure and I love that about it, I also find it really simple to strap Daisy in and out, because of where the seatbelt lies in the base of the seat. There's no double-buckling needed and, once it's in, it's very permanent.

What I will say, on that note, is that getting it in was quite tough! We have a Ford Focus, which isn't a particularly small car, and I had to move the front passenger seat (usually my seat) forward a notch, just to squeeze it in! This is obviously due to it being such a big seat that caters for a 12 year-old, as well as a baby under one like Daisy, but it did make me wonder how smaller cars would fare in the rear-facing position. I don't think forward-facing would be an issue due to the opposite angles, but it's really worth noting. I also found that it was very hard to get our seatbelt all the way around the seat and into the buckle, but we find it quite tight with all car seats that we use, so it could well just be our car. Definitely ask if you can test the seat in your car first though, or check the returns policy wherever you purchase your car seat from. This goes for all car seats though, not just the Milestone.

Safety-wise, because of the sheer size and how secure it feels, I felt really happy for Daisy to ride in this. And it is so padded and comfortable for her, that she seems really quite happy. You often wiggle a car seat to make sure there isn't much give when it's installed don't you? And the Milestone barely budges, and I feel quite confident in its ability to keep Daisy safe.

A few perks for Daisy include the fact that, as a rear-facing seat, she is has a much better vantage point as the Milestone is slightly higher up so she can see out of the rear window nicely. She's also at a better level with her brother now, which I like for them both, as it means they can interact much more easily when riding together. It also has a cup holder which is great for drinks, snacks or dummies!

I obviously can't comment on what it's like in the following stages, but I can say that my little boy is able to fit in the Milestone very comfortably indeed, though we have tried not to encourage that in case he feels left-out of having a brand new seat to use!

Things you will probably love

So, as a really quick recap, I've listed the perks of the Milestone and what you will most probably love about it:

3-in-1 car seat from birth until age 12. What a bargain.
Two recline options in stage one. Perfect for newborns who need to be extra comfy.
No extra parts needed.
Easy to change between stages.
Uses seatbelt installation, which is perfect for any car.
Great design - nice neutral colours that will most likely match your car.
Extremely padded and comfortable.
Arm rests that are great for older children.
Compartment to store harness straps when in the third stage which utilises the seatbelt instead.

Things you might not like

So, I always like to be honest in these sorts of reviews and I will always highlight things that could pose an issue for you, even if they don't for me. I think, overall, the Milestone is a brilliant all-rounder car seat, which is a great investment considering that you can keep your child safe from birth to age 12. But there are a few areas that may cause a few bumps in the road (pun completely intended!)

The Milestone is not suitable for rear-facing past the first stage (nor is it compatible with new iSize regulations), and I know this is something that is now on more and more parents' radars at the moment, including mine. I think, by my son's age (he is four and probably the height of a five year-old) I don't think rear-facing would be comfortable, or even possible for him, but for Daisy (who is eight months) I feel like I'd like to look into her being rear-facing for longer. I believe that Graco are looking at this for future models though, which is great that they are so switched on to parents' needs and concerns.

As mentioned before, there is no Isofix option with this car seat, which isn't really a big issue, but it may be something that can be a let-down for you as it's so convenient isn't it? But it's worth noting again that you need to prepare for plenty of buckling and installing, which can be a pain if you switch cars frequently.

The final point to make is that it isn't compatible as a travel system, which can be a huge selling point for parents of newborns in those early days. The convenience (and peace) of being able to take a sleeping baby from the car and out and about, without waking or disturbing them, is the difference between being able to do a grocery shop, or simply just get a coffee, in peace, and feeling stressed with a screaming baby in the middle of Tesco. But, this has got to be expected with a model that goes from birth to 12 years - it's an extremely sturdy car seat, and there are always some things you have to sacrifice for a relatively short-lived perk.

All of these issues, it is worth noting, do not affect the usability or the safety of the car seat (according to the latest UK regulations) in any way. So, it's absolutely based on your preference as a parent. But I hope it helps you to work out whether the Milestone would work for you.

Cost and conclusion

It retails at around £149.99, which considering it takes you from birth to age 12, is great value for money. If you purchase from Halfords, they can teach you how to install it as well, which is a plus for overall safety and satisfaction (and checking it fits with your car).

I think it's a great choice for families who want something built to last, that fits all current regulations, and keeps your child safe and supported. I do wonder if, in time, safety regulations may change for car seats again, but for now, this is a great option and it's sturdy, well-made and very good value for money. We're really happy with it and I think you will be too if it ticks your boxes!

You can find out more about the Graco Milestone All-in-One Car Seat over on the Graco website. I hope you found this review helpful! Why not read our Graco Nimble Nook review and the Graco Modes 3 Lite review next?

*PR Collaboration. We were sent the Graco Milestone for review, but, as always, all thoughts are my own.

Graco Nimble Nook - Best Travel Cot?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 18 Dec 2016 13:50:00 GMT

As I mentioned in my review of the Graco Modes 3 Trio Lite Travel System, we have recently been sent a few of Graco's latest releases to try. The next one I'm sharing today is the Graco Nimble Nook, which is a travel cot.

Now, I think, when you are expecting, most of us don't really consider a travel cot. It's one of those things that you realise you need later down the line, and then end up panicking over as you don't know which one to buy or which one would be the most suitable.

A lot of the time, most travel cost we have used seem to drown a newborn. They seem really big and, if your little one is used to sleeping in a Moses basket, or a crib, they can struggle to settle. Which is probably one of the best points of the Nimble Nook. But more on that in a second!

Assembly

Before I get into the general perks of the Nimble Nook, I think a really important part of products like this is the storage and assembly. There's no denying that this is not an everyday kind of product. It's something you get out and use as you need it. And a lot of the time, travel is involved.

I've snapped a photograph above, which shows the general size of the Nimble Nook when dismantled and placed inside its storage bag. Daisy is an average sized eight month-old (well, as of the 21st of tis month - time has gone so fast!) and you can see that it's really quite compact in comparison. You could fit this under a bed, or in the bottom of a wardrobe if space is tight, or in the loft or a garage, if you'd prefer. The storage bag protects it from damp and dust, and also means that everything is safely kept together.

What I also love is that you can see how to assemble the travel cot on the side, so even if instructions did go missing (which always happens eventually), you will always know what to do.

I actually find setting-up travel cots a nightmare usually. There are some that pop-up and unfold, much like a tent, but storage-wise they are quote bulky, and usually larger when assembled too. The Nimble Nook is really quite simple to set-up, and while there are a few steps involved, it doesn't take too long at all. And I did it alone, just fine.

The same with dismantling - it was quite easy to do, and the best part was that everything folded back and easily went in the storage bag again. I sometimes find that a lot of products never fit bag in the bag properly, unless you spend a lot of time folding it all perfectly and shoehorning it in. This was a big bonus for me, because I could just take it all down, fold it up, and stick it back in.

Bassinet Mode

Now, as I mentioned earlier, one let-down to many travel cots is their size in relation to your baby. Some babies find the transition from a small Moses basket, co-sleeper, or crib a nightmare. It all just feels too big and they don't feel as snug and secure.

But the Nimble Nook actually has two modes - a bassinet, or a regular travel cot.

And the nice thing about this is that the parts of the Nimble Nook are multi-use, so there aren't lots of extras to carry around with you. The mattress fits both modes, as an example.

The bassinet mode is suitable for use up to 9kg, which is just over 19lbs. But I would say that you shouldn't have a baby in this mode if they can pull themselves into a sitting position, for safety reasons, as they could easily topple out, due to the bassinet's height. On that note however, the height is great for scooping out a smaller baby, without damaging your back, which is great if you have recently given birth.

Daisy would last a little bit longer in the bassinet mode, but she is quite long and almost fills it out completely. She also now sleeps in her cot, so she would be fine in the normal travel cot mode, but the option of having both is brilliant. Especially as we'd like a third one day, and we could use this from birth next time around.

One lovely added extra is the little toy bar, which includes two gorgeous, stuffed, grey stars for baby to play with or watch as they drift off to sleep. The toy bar is sturdy enough to add a couple of other toys on too, so long as they have a little ring attachment. I love this addition as it makes it feel much more homely for baby - travel cots can sometimes seem quite stark and cold - and Daisy absolutely loved trying to reach for them.

Travel Cot Mode

Now, fortunately for us, about 90% of my family live in the very same village that I do, so I rarely need to pack up the kiddos to visit them, and I rarely need a travel cot for its primary purpose - to travel with.

But, Mark's family live about an hour away in Preston, and while we can visit in a day, there and back, there are times that we stay over, and there aren't any spare beds for the kiddos, so travel cots are really necessary! We are actually heading there on Boxing Day and staying over, and we didn't have an extra travel cot for Daisy (Bill still fits in our old one thankfully) so I was so chuffed to have this to bring along with us.

In the meantime however, it's working out as a great play pen. Daisy is not yet crawling, but she prefers to roll around and drag herself like a very pretty slug. Any parent knows that you need eyes in the back of your head once they are mobile, and I also work from home, so sometimes, in the interest of safety and productivity, a play pen like this is a brilliant idea.

One thing I really like about the Nimble Nook is that the mesh sides are not too thick or obscuring. So I can see Daisy very easily, and she can see me, which means she is quite happy to play in there while I do a few chores, or quickly reply to an email or two. Another brilliant thing about the Nimble Nook is that it is narrow enough to fit through doorways when assembled, so moving from room to room is so helpful. I really do love this part as I rarely stay in one part of the house all day.

Another perk of letting Daisy play in the Nimble Nook is that she is getting used to being in there, which will be good for our Boxing Day celebrations. And she is well supported, so if she should topple from sitting she is cushioned and has four mesh sides for support.

I love how versatile the Nimble Nook is - more than just somewhere to sleep, but something incredibly practical too.

It was that enjoyed, that Daisy's big brother had to join her too - and the travel cot mode is fine for weights up to 15kg, so there were no issues there! They spent a good hour just playing together and we enjoyed the peace and a brew. Thanks Graco.

Additional Perks

To quickly list them, my favourite parts about the Graco Nimble Nook are:

Easy to assemble.
Compact for storage.
Bassinet feature.
Fits through doorways even when assembled.
Breathable mesh and easy to see baby.
Practical for play.
Additional toy bar.
Vibrating feature.

What was that? Vibrating feature? Yes, one thing I have yet to mention is the fact that the Graco Nimble Nook has a two-speed vibration unit built-in, which means it actually helps to soon your baby to sleep. I wish that cots came with this in all honesty, as it's such a brilliant idea. I can't say for certain that it works yet, as we've not needed to use the Nimble Nook overnight, but I will pop back and update this post after Boxing Day and let you know how Daisy got on in terms of sleep.

Any downsides?

The only thing I find with most travel cots is that the mattress never screams 'comfiest place to sleep', but then it is a portable and temporary place to sleep, and I don't think it would cause any issues or discomfort to your baby. It's just perhaps not as cosy or comfortable as a cot mattress, but that's to be expected. I always wonder if the next step would be some sort of rollable memory foam? But then I'm not a product inventor!

Would I recommend?

The short answer would be yes!

The Graco Nimble Nook retails at £109.99, which is not the cheapest you can buy, but given the features it's great value, I've seen some for £200.00 that don't include the features that the Nimble Nook does. It is currently on offer at Mothercare, with £20 off, so it's worth snapping up in the sale I think!

I think travel cots very much depend on your needs as a family. If you travel a lot then this is compact, has some extra perks that your baby will love, and it means you can ensure that your baby is sleeping somewhere clean and safe. Which I think beats using the travel cots that you can use or rent on holiday - as sometimes they can be very basic or even damaged.

I think it's perfect for visiting family with, and doubles up as a way to keep baby safe too. For example, all of our families have dogs, so it would be handy to pop Daisy in when visiting, if she wanted to play and the dogs were hyperactive.

I love the design - I'm really into grey at the moment, and I love that the fabric is wipe-clean too.

Overall, if you're in the market for a travel cot, I'd really suggest the Nimble Nook, definitely worth giving a go as you can keep baby happy from birth onwards, and you can't argue with that!

*PR Collaboration - all thoughts are, however, my own.

A Christmas Home & Christmas Magic

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Dec 2016 07:30:00 GMT

I really do love this time of year.

When the seasons change, I'm always saying: "No this is my favourite." But when I'm really pushed to think about it, and even though I hate the cold, I love the spirit of Christmas more than I could express.

I may have mentioned this before - the mind forgets. But when Daisy was very poorly in hospital, I would sit back in my battered leather armchair, that was pulled close to her cot, and I would feel the rise and fall of my baby's breathing as she lay on my chest, and I would close my eyes, and, amidst the beeps and the whirs of monitors, I would imagine Christmas.

I would imagine my daughter breathing on her own. I would imagine her eating a Christmas dinner, in a little red dress. I'd imagine my son zooming around in a flurry of festive delight, with toys that flashed and danced, or stacks upon stacks of toy animals.

And so, now we are here. Almost at least. And I feel a strange sense of relief, anticipation, excitement and a little melancholy too. I don't know why exactly, but I think I am realising that, as a fast as Christmas arrives, it will be over.

And I always feel like looking forward to something is just as good as the event itself. To be excited. To be thankful. To be appreciative. To be lucky enough to have something to look forward to at all.

Anyway, I am rambling, but I just wanted to share a few snaps of our home, as it is, right now. Well - at least, as it is when I've tidied it and the little ones give me five minutes or so of domestic bliss before they trash the joint.

I keep collecting things over time. I have decorations of my grandma's, things passed down from my mum, commemorative ornaments for every year of Bill's life, and Daisy's too. And then these little traditions are slowly forming and growing, and I realise that I am the magic of Christmas for my children. I am Father Christmas, I am Rudolph, I am the elves on the shelves (or I will be if I ever take that up). I am fairy dust, I am magic, I am make believe.

And I think that is possibly the greatest role I've ever had. Life is so short, and these baby days pass us by so fleetingly. So if you are making elf mischief, reading Christmas books, finding the perfect toy for pounds more on eBay when they are sold out everywhere else, planning Christmas Eve boxes, making footprints in the snow, taking bites from mince pies, and nibbling on carrots, then I salute you.

You make Christmas for your kiddos. And from one exhausted parent to another, here's a nod of understanding from me. You're magic.

Enjoy our festive home. And Merry Christmas.

Graco Modes 3 Lite Trio Travel System Review

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Dec 2016 01:52:00 GMT

I think, as a parent, when you are expecting a baby, naturally one of the first things you think about is which pram, or travel system, you will choose. And my goodness - the options out there these days are overwhelming. And, admittedly, very expensive.

A few weeks ago, we were sent a few new Graco products to try, including the Graco Modes 3 Lite Travel System. We have actually tried the Graco Metro Stroller before, which we loved, so I was quite curious to see what the Modes 3 Lite would be like.

Now, having had two children, I know what matters to me the most when it comes to choosing a travel system, and I like to focus on the following:

Comfort for baby.
Easy to steer.
Not too bulky or heavy.
A good-sized basket.

So how did the Graco Modes 3 Lite Travel System live up to my expectations?

Well, let's start at the basics.

What is it?

The Graco Modes 3 Lite is a travel system that comes all together - no separate car seat, or adaptors, you buy it and you get it all. It includes a carry cot, a stroller seat, a car seat, and a foot muff, rain cover and cup holder too (I always like things like this).

The Modes 3 Lite has seven different options when it comes to how your child can ride. The car seat, carry cot, and stroller seat can all ride both front and parent facing, depending on your personal preference too, which makes it incredibly versatile, which I love.

The box, considering what was in there, was surprisingly compact, so if you were buying this to store until baby was born, you could quite easily do so without taking up too much space.

Assembly

Assembly was relatively simple to do, aside the rear wheels and the carrycot.

There were some rather bizarre looking pins to add in, to secure the wheels to the bar, and it was quite fiddly for me, on my own. Plus - I am used to just slotting wheels in the place. But, in all fairness, once assembled, there has been no issues whatsoever.

The carrycot was quite hard to push into position - there are two metal bars that need sliding into position to keep the carrycot sturdy, which I found really hard to do! But I was building this on my own, with a baby at my feet, so it probably wasn't quite as productive as I'd of hoped!

Aesthetics

We have the grey colour way, which was perfect for us as it's gender neutral and it just so happens to be one of my favourite colours. I believe there is also a black and cream colour way as well, but I'm not sure if there are any more vibrant or gender-specific shades.

In terms of 'looks', it's not the most beautiful travel system in the world, which is a fair comment to make, I think - but it is extremely practical and the material seems to be wipe-clean and will withstand many an adventure.

Carrycot Mode

Now, Daisy is coming up to eight months old, so we had no use for the carrycot - I think she would have been a rather unhappy little thing had she of been put in there, so we mainly focused our review on using the Modes 3 Lite as a stroller, along with the car seat.

That said, first impressions were good. The carrycot, once assembled, looked great, and was spacious enough for a baby up until six months. I would say it was more narrow than some I have used, but this would make it good for getting out and about and navigating tight spaces.

Stroller Mode

As I mentioned before, as a stroller you can choose between forward or parent facing and there's a five-point harness to make sure your child is safe and nice and snug in there. As Daisy has only ever faced me up until this point, we decided to give her a go in the forward-facing position and my goodness did she love it. I found it quite hard because I am so used to seeing her little face smiling up at me, but that's the beauty of something like this, as you can switch it back again if you get too emotional like this mama did!

The recommended weight of the Modes 3 Lite is 15kg, which is roughly around three years of age. As Daisy is so little, she has a lot of growing to do before she is too big, and I love how it suits her perfectly, but other reviews I've seen, like Alex's or John's review, show their children to be just a comfortable, which pleased me.

The stroller seat also comes with a foot muff, which was one thing that disappointed me a bit. Daisy is only tiny but she had no problems kicking it off, and it wasn't very snug and is quite thin, but, as an extra, I wouldn't complain. It would be nice to see it with some sort of attachment to keep it in place a bit better, because I didn't feel like it was going to keep her warm and dry unless I really tucked it in.

One brilliant perk though, is the basket. You can fit plenty in there, along with the rain cover, just in case, and a big basket makes me happy! I can fit plenty of bits in from a supermarket trip, along with book bags, changing bags and toys too.

Car Seat Mode

The Modes 3 Lite includes the SnugRide car seat, which is such a brilliant addition considering that items like this are usually a bolt-on with additional adaptors, which aren't very useful if they go missing or you forget to bring them with you when out and about. The SnugRide utilises Graco's Click Connect™ technology, which means you can just click it into the chassis and off you go.

I tend to walk most places, so I don't always need a chassis in the boot for trips out and about, but the option to have this, especially when Daisy has fallen asleep, is brilliant. And I think, for a new parent, this is a God-send, as you make one purchase and you're all prepared.

It also features an ergonomic carry handle, lightweight shell design, side impact protection and five-point harness offering a lightweight, yet sturdy infant car seat to protect your baby. It's suitable for up to 13kg, so Daisy could probably use this until she is about one I'd expect. Then we will move on to the Milestone Car Seat - review coming soon!

Manoeuvrability

The Modes 3 Lite has a three-wheel design and it is incredibly easy to steer. And this is one of my essentials when it comes to travel systems - I really struggle with ones that are tough to manoeuvre, especially on school runs where I need a free hand for my little boy, Bill, when crossing the road. And I really don't enjoy using prams or strollers that don't handle terrain well, given we live in a countryside village that can go from pavement, to field, to cobbles, to hills, very easily!

Collapsing and Unfolding

This is one area that the Modes 3 Lite comes into its own, with the Graco FastAction Fold technology. If you're stuck in the rain, with an unhappy baby on your hip and you need to get baby and the stroller into the car as quick as possible, then all you do is pull the clearly marked strap and you have easily collapsed your stroller, one handed. It's absolutely brilliant and I wish all strollers and prams featured technology like this. Some feel like you need a degree just to get them set up!

Another important point to note is that it fits into our car boot absolutely fine - we have a Ford Focus if that helps, and there's still a bit of room for changing bags and shopping, more so if you rely on the SnugRide car seat when out, instead of the stroller seat, but it's worth noting that car seats shouldn't be used for too long a period of time for baby's posture and comfort.

Cost and Value

The Graco Modes 3 Lite Trio Travel System is very new to the market - I think Daisy and I were one of the first to get our hands on it to try, which was quite exciting. So far, the only place I can find it is on Babies 'R' Us, where the stroller and car seat retails at £389.99 and the carrycot is an additional £119.99, which is a total of £509.98. I'd say that this is a brilliant deal for something that is so functional and versatile, without compromising.

Daisy certainly liked it anyway!

*We were provided with the Graco Modes 3 Lite Trio Travel System for the purpose of this review. I hope it helped. All opinions are my own.

Making It Work

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 21:10:00 GMT

I haven't written a post on here for a while. And admittedly, that's because life has been so hectic. And I have so many things I want to update on, and I hope someone is out there reading this still - or am I back to writing like no one's watching again?

Either way. I will write.

A couple of years ago, additionally to writing my socks off and taking too many photographs of my life, I started a YouTube channel. And I think, mainly, I did it to challenge myself. My then relationship was falling apart, and the comfort of speaking to the camera when I was on my own at night made me feel a lot less alone.

I started doing weekend vlogs, which I loved. And I would try and share my memories, wherever we went, and whatever we did, and I still watch them back today, when I'm wistful, or missing my old cat, Gatsby, who was hit by a car last year. I know that sounds daft, but people often ask why I do what I do, and honestly - those memories are priceless, and I know I wouldn't stick with it if I didn't have the support from everyone who likes to watch. The same with my blog - the photographs and the notes would stop, if there was nowhere for them to be.

When I started maternity leave earlier this year, I hoped I could have a bit more of a go of doing these two hobbies I loved. Or three, if you consider that photography isn't just an add-on. I had all these grand plans. I just wanted to enjoy my time with my baby, and have fun with my cameras. Have fun. I just wanted to enjoy it.

When Daisy was born, that all changed. And I actually found YouTube was the place I gravitated towards, because I found it much easier to say what was happening and what I was feeling than write it down. I grew weary at the thought of writing - being eloquent, phrasing things just right, remembering my grammar, which I am ever such a stickler for. And so, I found myself living over there more, when I did feel that I was ready to start sharing what had happened.

Can I be honest? I found it extremely hard trying to explain that this long awaited baby was poorly in hospital. I felt like I had let everyone down. I had so many people wishing us well, and I found it heartbreaking to say that my baby was poorly. I can't really explain that properly, but I just felt like shutting the world out and stepping away, because it was almost too painful to admit it all aloud.

In time, of course, my poorly girl transformed into the cheekiest little flower I know. I feel she is so true to her name because she is tiny and sweet, but so strong and grows quickly and fiercely, come rain or shine.

But it was only when our Daisy turned around five months old that I felt that my maternity leave started. In the months previously, I had been working as her nurse. Her advocate. Her voice. Her carer. And, lastly, her mother. It is exhausting. I can't explain what tube feeding is like, or how horrible using a suction machine is, or what the sound of sats monitor is like at 3:00am when your baby's oxygen levels drop.

And it was at around five months that I realised that I could not go back to work. I could not do this. I couldn't leave my baby. I left Bill at eight weeks and that was heart-wrenchingly painful. He started school in September, and I am wholeheartedly throwing myself with gusto at every school run, every book bag letter, and every reading book. I want to do this for him.

When I went away a couple of months back, Bill turned to me and said: "Mama? Are you going to work?"

"Kind of," I said. It was a blog event.

He looked troubled. "Are you going to work every day on the train now?"

"No sweetheart. Just today."

"Okay Mama. I don't want you to go back to work every day. I want you to stay here with me and Day-Day."

And I think, for any parent, that is heartbreaking to hear. We have crafted a society around ourselves that relies on money and work for survival. And I have often said to Mark that it seems so sad when life is really circled around love. And of course, part of that is to love what you do, and everyone loves different things. But I sometimes wonder if we are all working towards a golden ticket that we had in our hands all along? Our family.

When I heard my son's words, I knew I had two choices. I could go back to work, to a great job, leaving my children with my own mother. Or I could take a leap of faith.

And believe in myself.

In January, I'll have been writing this blog for six years. And that's a bloody long time. I started because I was bored and needed an outlet to write. As a young childless girl, who fancied herself the next Carrie Bradshaw. If Carrie Bradshaw was overweight, ate too much mashed potato, couldn't actually walk that well in heels and lived near Manchester. So not at all, but you know what I mean.

And slowly, over time, I would get invites to review things, or attend events, and only really, when YouTube came along, did I stop and think this year that I could actually afford to stay at home.

Daisy has surgery in the New Year, and I feel like I owe to her to be there. On that day, and every day going forward.

I owe it to Bill to keep my promise. So I can keep supporting him and holding his hand on that walk home from school.

I owe it to Mark, because he never stops encouraging me and all he wants is for me to be happy.

I owe it to my mum so she can keep being my mum and their granny, and not have to be a go-between for everyone.

And I owe it myself.

I love to make content. I love to write. I still desperately want to write a book, but time, courage and confidence are things I am short on right now. But here, I can run away with myself, lost in a land of thoughts and letters and metaphorical sentences that dance at my fingertips.

I can take photographs whenever I'd like to. I used to do this thing when I was younger, where I would try and blink really hard to capture a memory. Sort of like a mental photograph. And I still do that now. I will squeeze my eyes tight and beg myself: "Remember this, remember this." And hopefully I live life through my eyes, but my lens will back it all up for me, when the memories start to fade in time.

I can create videos of our lives, like the ones I used to replay over and over again as a child. Me and Mummy and Auntie Julie at the park. Me dancing to Say You'll Be There by the Spice Girls. Should anything every happen to me, my children will always have my voice to listen to, they will hear me saying I love you, singing to them, laughing with my head thrown back, eyes crinkled. They will see me holding them close, kissing their dad, or their little noses.

It all means so much to me. And the fact that I am in a place where I can jump off the edge of this safe little precipice and into a world that I don't quite know or understand, is exciting and terrifying for me. I could soar, I could waver, I could fall from dizzying heights.

I know that hard work got me to this point. I think there's always an element of luck, of course I do, I'm lucky to be where I am, right now. But I have spent so many late nights working at this, with no promise of it leading to anything.

I still don't understand why brands would want to work with me. Why people follow me and like my photographs. Why I have succeeded at all.

I am just a really average mum who puts her life on the internet. And that is it. It really is.

This is not some 'humble brag'. It's genuine amazement at the path I have found myself on.

I owe you a thank you for talking to me, supporting me, thumbing up, hearting, commenting, watching, reading, listening.

I don't really know what the future is going to bring, but I am really hoping you will stick with me.

Thank you for helping me make this work. For me and for my family.

When Daisy Got Mail & Giveaway #FrugiFamily

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 8 Dec 2016 10:45:00 GMT

There's a bit of a running joke with my postman and the delivery men around my way, because they say I keep them in work. And I do like a bit of online shopping, I must admit, but it's usually items we are sent to review, and that's the nature of the work I do. But the other day, a parcel arrived for Bill and Daisy. Bill was at school, and Daisy was a little bit too eager to see what was inside, so we took a peek.

Inside the box, was a gorgeous Frugi gift bag, which are nice and sturdy and survived the post well! What I also love about this is that you wouldn't need to wrap your gifts. Genius idea for busy parents in the run-up to Christmas.

Now, we've worked with Frugi this year, and they have been so kind in sending us some gorgeous clothes for the kiddos to wear. They are all extremely well-made with the softest organic cotton that lasts washes so well. And that always surprises me as Frugi's items are so rainbow bright and lovely, but you would expect some wear over time, especially when you wash things as much as we do in this house. But no - we still have our sleep suits from last time and they are just as colourful as the day we unwrapped them.

Inside was a message for Bill and Daisy, wishing them a Merry Christmas. Which Bill loved when he got home from school - he always asks who parcels are for and his face lit up when I showed him what had arrived for him and his sister.

Inside, was a gorgeous (and I mean gorgeous) Charlie Romper for Daisy. It's red, with white stars and a fluffy Christmas polar bear on the front. I squealed because it's perfect for Christmas pyjamas, if you have a tradition like we do where you buy a new pair of pyjamas every year for Christmas. The cotton is so thick and Daisy was so snug while she watched her big brother in his nativity that day (you can see a vlog of that here if you like - I'm doing Vlogmas this year!).

Also inside was a Froogli Soft Toy for Bill - we have Dash the Leopard and Daisy loved a quick cuddle while her big brother wasn't looking. But she needn't have worried as, after Bill had a good play with him, he walked up to Daisy and said: "Here you go baby girl, you can have him. You don't have as many toys as me, so we can share." And it might be a bit unrelated, but isn't that what Christmas is about? A time for giving.

Speaking of giving, Frugi are also holding a giveaway, where you can win this gorgeous Frugi hamper, pictured below.

All you have to do to enter is visit Frugi Family Competition and enter your details to be put into the draw. Simple! The giveaway is open from today, and ends on Thursday, 15th December at midnight, and the winner will be drawn on Friday, 16th December. The lucky winner will be contacted by Frugi and the hamper will be in the post in time for Christmas for you to enjoy.

Before I go, I want to say a big thank you to Frugi for this year. When Daisy was poorly, they sent us some presents to make us smile, and they have been so supportive and kind. We all buy on quality, but I think it's nice to know that some brands also have integrity and kindness at heart too.

Also - if you want to know what else I'd pick for Christmas presents, then this rainbow striped blanket is gorgeous for babies, and I love this Kneepatch Snowman Dungarees too!

Now, if you'd like something to read next, why not pop over to Dear Beautiful to see what Lucy and her gang were sent!

What I'd Like For Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 7 Dec 2016 11:29:00 GMT

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck - Everyone seems to recommend this and it's a technique I dearly need to learn.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - I still haven't read this and since many a childhood Christmas was spent reading Harry Potter, I see no reason why that should change.

Olympus PEN E-PL8 - I don't think it would be a Christmas list for me unless a camera featured in some way. I have lusted after the PEN for so long and the latest model in tan is just pure love. I'd take any shade to be fair though!

Jamie Oliver's Superfood Family Classics - I love food, I love Jamie, I love cookery books.

Cath Kidston Pyjamas - I have wanted a pair of soft Cath Kidston flannel pyjamas for so long. One day. One day.

Charlotte Tilbury Scent of a Dream - I seem to be a bit of a perfume hoarder, but I'd love to try something of Charlotte's.

MAC Velvet Teddy - My old one is running low and I love the new packaging for the Shadescents launch.

Lush Christmas Range - Anything from this range, but definitely a bottle of Snow Fairy and a bath bomb or two.

(Not pictured) Some super soft cosy lounge socks - I really want some and need some suggestions (or possibly a family member to surprise me with some!)

The lovely Lucy of Capture by Lucy has launched a Backdrop Store for photography and I would absolutely love one for Christmas. I think the white floorboard backdrop is for me. I am so proud of her - she's a genius and this would be brilliant for my work.

...

But yes. This Christmas, I would really just like some quality time with my family, fifty pigs in blankets and some Prosecco. But, failing that, I would quite like these.

I was saying to Mark the other night that, since becoming a mother, I have pretty much always asked for money towards furniture and DIY, or vouchers towards the house. And that has been such a big help. Because we had so much to do and couldn't have done it without those gifts over the years. Last year I remember asking for IKEA vouchers, and we went in between Christmas and New Year and bought all of Daisy's furniture for her nursery, and some bits for Bill's room and elsewhere too - like our kitchen sofa. And I was so excited. I couldn't wait.

But we are, for the most part, done now. Well - our hallway is diabolical, and our kitchen is half-done even now. But I have just turned a blind eye to it recently, as it doesn't matter and I'm not a wizard. I have two kids and I work from home and I can't do everything. And eventually we will get there. We have a roof over our heads and that's really all that matters. Plus - it gives me a project for next year doesn't it?

Anyway, I ramble, I would really just like to have a few gifts under the tree for me this year. I have put myself last for a long time and I would like to change that next year. But that's more for a reflective 2016 post isn't it?

The collection of things above are very much if every member of my family won the lottery. Really, I'd be made-up with a book, some cosy lounge socks that are super soft (really do need some recommendations there), a candle and a couple of bath bombs.

What about you?

How to Make Christmas Chocolate Bark

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 5 Dec 2016 07:30:00 GMT

We made this at the weekend, and it's an absolutely brilliant way of doing some really easy, festive 'baking' (there's no baking involved really) with kids.

It's festive Christmas Chocolate Bark. Basically a mix of chocolate, melted, poured out and sprinkled with toppings of choice. And it's really rather good. I'd go as far as to say that Father Christmas might like a side of this with his mince pie.

Ingredients

Chocolate - we used a big bar of dark chocolate and a big bar of white chocolate, which we marbled together.
Toppings - we chose mini gingerbread men, shattered candy canes, and peanut M&Ms, along with some silver edible balls.

You could choose nuts and dried fruit to make it a bit more 'adult' like a Florentine. Or keep even top with leftover chocolates from your tin of Quality Street, or leftover Matchsticks and Terry's Chocolate Orange. It's a fun way to use up Christmas chocolate and keep the littles happy too!

Method

Melt your chocolate. We used the microwave. I would microwave for 30 seconds. Stir. And repeat until melted.
Pour your melted chocolate out onto a tray lined with greaseproof paper.
Swirl together to give a marbled look if you are using two different chocolates. But one will be fine on its own!
Top with your toppings. We smashed the candy canes with a rolling pin to leave lovely shards and peppermint dust. It was so nice!
Pop the chocolate bark in the fridge (make sure it is level) and leave to set for around two hours - may be quicker, but it's good to get a nice snap to it!
Break apart into shards and chunks and share.

You can watch Bill and I making it in the video below. We are doing Vlogmas this year and I would LOVE it if you came and said hello and subscribed.

Watch the video:

The One Where We Made a Pet Bed

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 5 Dec 2016 06:30:00 GMT

So, for the past week or so I have been really quite poorly with a chest infection. I don't know what is up with my immune system recently, but I seem to have everything going at the moment. So, when the weekend rolled around, I was feeling pretty relieved because I had my right-hand man back, in the form of Mark, for two whole days. And I hoped I'd be able to rest a bit.

But the thing is with littles, is that they don't really like to do 'rest'. Especially at Bill's age - since he started school in September, he is used to having someone to play with all the time, so now we find ourselves having to step in much more than normal.

Energizer® has teamed up with Secret Life of Pets (which, as an animal lover, you can imagine Bill absolutely loves). And they sent us a big pack of goodies, with one request in mind - that we get crafty and make a creative pet bed for Bill's new friend, Max.

And this is, admittedly, sometimes the sort of stuff I dread. I had ideas of paint everywhere, glitter in my hair, and stickers on my face. But we all sat around in the living room, on Saturday morning, still in our pyjamas, and Mark and I nursing a warm brew, and we made a brilliant pet bed as a family.

Bill chose a Zoo theme, so we fashioned a big cardboard box into a cage, and made a sign from animal print fabric. And we stuck gems everywhere, made some fuzzy snakes with googly eyes. All of his stuffed animals lay on a bed of feathers, and bubble wrap (it's so comfy apparently!) and he took so much care over placing each and every animal sticker in the right place. We had a lot of fun doing it, which really surprised me.

We've had such an up and down year that I have honestly forgotten the last time I properly sat and focused on family, without other things troubling my mind.

I thought this would be a great idea with all of those leftover Christmas boxes too - you know the saying that you buy your children presents and all they want is the box! At least you can have some fun making them into pirate ships, racing cars, castles and spaceships too.

Plus, Bill is absolutely thrilled with his new Max plush toy. He's now permitted into bed with him at night, along with his faithful old Teddy, which is saying something!

The Energizer® team were so lovely that they sent us that much craft stuff that we have plenty left for more adventures to come. And, if you pick up a special promo pack from major participating retailers you could be in with a chance to win a plush toy.

And let's face it - it's only a couple of weeks until Christmas and one thing all parents have to remember is:

DON'T FORGET THE BATTERIES.

*PR Collaboration. Thanks Energizer® for our goodies.

Christmas, Stripes & Thank Yous

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 30 Nov 2016 21:17:00 GMT

This year is coming to a close, and part of me feels a sense of relief over that. It has been a very hard year. Tomorrow marks the start of the final month. And a year ago, I was just 20 weeks pregnant and desperate for 2016 to just hurry up and get here so I could meet my daughter.

And that was magical. I still sit here sometimes and I can't believe I have two children; a little boy and a little girl now. And we are about to celebrate our first Christmas as a family of four. And that feels absolutely wonderful to imagine. I've been collecting presents and hiding them away, and the advent calendars are out for tomorrow morning. Though our house is still tree-less because we didn't put it up this weekend just gone as we normally would as we didn't have a day where all four of us were here. And all four of us have to be here for something like that.

I am already getting excited for those little Christmas traditions. I am looking forward to Christmas movies - and convincing Mark that it's not too soon to watch them. I'm looking forward to Christmas books at bedtime. Watching festive cookery programmes with a glass of wine. The same ones I watch every year. Nigella. Nigel Slater. Jamie Oliver. I want to wear my Christmas jumpers, I want to wear red lipstick. I want to pull Mark towards me under the mistletoe that will hang in the archway in our living room. I want to play the special Christmas playlist that Mark and I made a couple of years ago. We called it Christmas Tay. Because we are sad. It's okay - we know.

But mainly I just want to be thankful for my family. I want to sit back and watch them all laughing and smiling, rosy-cheeked in front of me, and be grateful for the biggest gift I've ever had. Them.

Daisy and Bill thankfully already have their Christmas pyjamas sorted. We have the Matalan Get Your Stripes set. And I'm sharing this - not because I have been paid, because I haven't - but because 100% of the profits go to Alder Hey Children's Hospital & Charity. And that is the hospital that helped us get our baby home. That was the one bit of hope we had when we were told the only option was for our daughter to have a tracheostomy. If she did, I wouldn't be here right now writing this I don't think, as our lives would have been very different. When the consultant turned to me and said: "She is fine with her NPA, she can go home." And the next day. She came home.

Until this year, and bearing in mind I work within the charity sector, I don't think I truly appreciated or understood the value that donations make to people's lives. I have a past as a child born with a syndrome, a sequence and a cleft, and I've received so much support that I was too young to understand, let alone appreciate. But now, as a mother, I see the difference that hospitals and organisations can make to people's lives. To our lives. To my baby's life. To my life.

And so I thank you. Every time I see a family clad in these little stripy pyjamas, I thank you. Because that hospital does some amazing things because of the support of people like you.

You don't know how much that means.

The Wild Outdoors + Vlog

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 19:09:00 GMT

We live in a quiet village, and I love it. When I was little it used to remind me of the village in Beauty and the Beast. And to be fair, it still does, if the village in Beauty in the Beast had a Costa.

I love it regardless (especially because I do a enjoy a Gingerbread Latte like the next person), because of where it is. As a child I would play out for hours on end, rambling around in the fields near our house, playing at 'The Brook', and swinging on a rope swing. I'd walk our dogs with my little brother. We'd even go as far as Lyme Park. And we were just kids, and so we didn't appreciate it all at the time, but I remember moving to a city when I went to university and I didn't feel the same. And it was then that I realised that, while I love the bustle of city life, and the different cultures that exists wherever you turn, I am, and forever will be, a village girl. I am not great in crowds, I am rubbish at crossing busy roads, and I don't know how to navigate trains half the time, let alone anything more complex than that.

When I found this house, I knew it was going to be another doer-upper, and I gulped as I walked around and made a mental checklist of the things that I'd need to do before it was anything near to feeling like 'home'. But what I loved the most about it was the stream running through the garden, and the paths you could walk around the village pool, which is just at the end of our road. In the other direction is a park. And so, within five minutes of leaving our house, we can find an adventure waiting. Of course, that is the case wherever you go, but these are the sort of muddy-knee adventures I always imagined my children would have. Involving ducks and conkers, or picnics and looking at the shapes the clouds make in the sky.

The thing is, as it gets colder, I tend to switch into hibernation mode. I encourage puzzles, and board games, and we make hot cocoa with cream and marshmallows (only the mini ones will do in Bill's case). We watch movies, old and new, and we stay tucked away. And that's all well and good. Especially at this time of year - it's what Autumn and Winter are made for.

But Bill received a parcel in the post recently and it was from Vertbaudet - a brand my kids have both worn from birth. I absolutely love them and still have the sleepsuits Bill wore when he was a newborn. They had set Bill a mission - to get outdoors and find the magic of Autumn.

We were sent a mission list:

Collect colourful leaves
Feed the ducks
Play hide and seek
Hunt for bugs
Climb a tree
Roll down a big hill

Vertbaudet have a new range of hard-wearing kids clothes that last - the Indestructibles range. When children are always on the hunt for adventure, their wardrobe can sometimes look tatty from trying to keep up with the rough and tumble of playtime. Vertbaudet’s Indestructibles collection has been designed specifically to withstand weekends of exploration with reinforced knees and ankles, and made using hard-wearing fabrics.

You can save your own version of the mission list over on the Vertbaudet Facebook page, and do it with your littles too. Bill loved ticking it off as we went.

He was as giddy as a kipper and we actually vlogged our whole adventure, which you can see just below (I'd love it if you subscribed while you were there!).

The reason why I'm writing this post is that it was just the kick-up-the-bum we needed to get out and about. We haven't done this for a while. Just walked around and had fun with no purpose other than to explore. No iPads or telly. No toys. Just our family. Plus - it didn't cost us anything. And when soft play and lunch can set us back almost £50 sometimes, it was amazing to do something like this and get some fresh air in our lungs.

I sometimes worry that, in our children's generation, they are so much more immersed in technology and all the positives it brings. But there are some negatives too. And I want to try and help them to create memories away from a screen, whatever the reason, whatever the season.

And it's probably one of very few challenges that brands have set us that have been far more than a thing to complete. But it was actually a source of some brilliant memories, and I'm really glad we did it.

Thanks Vertbaudet. You wonderful bunch.

I would love to know if you and your littles put Mission Indestructible to the test! Let me know if you do!

*PR Collaboration.

What it Feels Like to Pass a Syndrome on Your Child and Moving On From It

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 12:53:00 GMT

I have wanted to write so many posts about our experience having a Stickler, cleft palate, Pierre Robin, NICU baby. But every time I start I get this weird sensation come over me and I begin to get writer's block and I mentally dig my heels in and then I shut my MacBook and push it away from me.

I remember when I used to write a post every day sometimes. Every day. Do you remember that? I do. I don't quite know how I had the passion for it sometimes. I certainly don't have it now. Since the birth of my sweet little girl, I have found this is often the last place I want to come. I find making videos easier. I just grab a camera and capture. They don't seem to ask as much of me. I can do fun things, or document memories, but here, with a blog name like I have, I have often poured out my soul into a puddle for you to read. And it turns out I don't enjoy doing that as much anymore.

On Saturday, a post was published on Buzzfeed. About being a parent of a baby with a cleft palate. And I wrote it. I found it hard to write. I'll be honest and admit that my first draft came back to me because I'd been to generic. And I had, on purpose. I was not willing to talk about our story and our experience at first. Not intentionally. I just couldn't get it out of me. But I sat, one night, and worked through it. And then I was told it was perfect. The response I have had has been quite humbling. It was posted on the UK and US site, and is now on the front page of Buzzfeed Parents too. It's had over 10,000 views. And I've had messages and emails to thank me for writing it.

I didn't realise that sharing something like that was actually much bigger than me and Daisy. It was for many babies, young and grown, and their parents too. And now I'd like to try and keep doing it. And hopefully that will help me too.

Today Daisy is seven months old. And last night, Mark and I lay side-by-side in bed. Huddled together because the sheets are always cold when you get in them these days - that sign that Winter is on its way. And we were lit by the light from my phone screen, and we were mesmerised looking through old photographs and videos of the last seven months.

Now, part of me is extremely grateful that I am the capturer that I am. I have always been the type to collect memories, whether for scrapbooks, diaries, memory boxes, blogs, videos. It started from when I was tiny and it has never stopped, or faded, in fact, most likely it has gotten worse with age. I love to be able to look back. I always have done. It's not that I live in the past so much, but I don't want to lose what happened yesterday, because my past and my present are the only guarantees I have in life. The future remains a mystery and, one day, the future simply will not come for me. Or all of us.

However, some of the memories from the last seven months are hard to look back on because it's like unlocking an old diary and watching old emotions flood over you and you sometimes feel as though you are drowning in them.

But every month that passes, brings us a happier and stronger baby girl. And I think that is important to focus on and remember.

As we flicked through our past last night, we watched tiny clips that we haven't looked at in a very long time. We heard the wheezy sound of our baby breathing with her airway down her nose. And it was actually shocking to hear that sound. And see her with different eyes.

As Mark told me last night: "I find it harder to look at now than I did back then. Because I was getting to know that little baby and all of that was our 'normal'. But looking back I see my Daisy and see her struggling and it hurts."

And he is so very right. She was so brave. And I don't think we realised at the time how big a deal all of this was. Of course we knew we were her carers. And we were trained in medical emergencies. And we did things we never expected to do. But, to be blunt, we brought home a baby who could not breathe on her own. And that was serious. But at the time. We just managed.

I have tried to be very open about the way I have felt. Because I think it's important to share as much as you can, with as much honesty as you can manage. But I was very unwell in my mind and in my heart. I can't tell you what it was that was troubling me. I can't give it a name. But as I have said elsewhere, just because I can't name something doesn't mean it wasn't there and it didn't happen to me.

I am a brave person. I know that now of course. I didn't before. I thought all the crying and the hiding away made me weak. But I did everything I could to make sure my daughter thrived. I wanted to do that job. I didn't want her in hospital anymore. I truly believed that we, as a family, were better for her than any doctor or specialist. And I think we were right. But we took on a lot of responsibility at the same time.

And I think, for a while, I took my time in learning to stop being her nurse, and start being her mother.

It took me a while to stop waking up in the night and panicking - expecting to see her sats monitor shining numbers at me in the darkness.

It took me a while to stop declining when people asked me if I'd like to do something. I couldn't let myself be distracted from her care. And very few people were let in. And I feel I should work my way through a list of loved ones and friends and say sorry. Sorry I didn't let you in. I couldn't let you in. And if you read this, please know that I am sorry.

It took me a while to move the leftover tubes, syringes, PH strips, saline solution, and catheters from the house to the garage, it took me a while to give Mark the okay to take it from the garage to the tip (hospitals won't let you return it - such a waste). And even then I would panic and think, what if she needs all of that again?

When the community team came to take her machines away, I closed the door on them, smiling goodbye, and then I burst into tears. With relief. But also a small bit of fear that my safety blankets had gone.

Now she just needed us.

And it was something that I wanted for so long. But it took me a long time to accept that I was enough now. I didn't need to be anything but good at cuddles. Or making her smile. Or loving her. That was all she wanted from me.

I said to Mark last night that part of me would like to go back. To relive those early weeks and months with hindsight, or foresight, or both, I don't know. Just to live them and enjoy them and not be frightened of them. I remember flicking through my phone as Daisy slept on my chest in NICU. It was always so warm in there so I had to keep my mind busy or I would fall asleep. I used to see other little babies at home in their mother's arms. Or families out being families. And I would force myself to like those photographs or updates. Or comment when I could. Because I did not want to be bitter about what had happened. And while I wanted to trade places with my friends, for the moments they were having, I didn't because I could not have loved my baby daughter more.

We aren't free of everything just yet. Daisy isn't gaining masses of weight, but then she isn't losing either, so I am trying to stay positive about that. I haven't really spoken about it, because I am sometimes worried that I come across as a misery guts who always has problems. Like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Or just The Mama Who Cried, in general. She eats plenty. And I know she uses a lot more energy managing her cleft and coordinating her breathing, and she likes to roll around now too. So I'm hoping my quiet confidence will be enough to get us through that. The thing is, I understand that the worst outcome would be that she has to have high calorie milk. But my more frightened irrational side worries that these made-up evil doctors in my head will come at us with a feeding tube. Like a nightmare. They are my bogeymen. And yet they don't actually exist.

She has surgery in February 2017. I don't know when exactly yet. When I think of it I get a slow prickle of fear. I know she will be okay. But part of me just doesn't want to go back to Manchester. It's a great hospital, of that I am sure, but we had a bad experience and we know we were caught in a particularly awkward, almost political situation regarding the course of action for Daisy. And I don't want to see those familiar corridors ever again in all honesty. I really don't.

We've also been warned that Daisy may have to have an airway put back in overnight for surgery, just because of swelling. And it's fine. It is normal. It's okay. But for us it will feel like ten steps backwards, because just seeing her face covered with Duoderm and a tube obscuring the baby girl I know - it will be very difficult to see without getting flashbacks I think. But to know for sure, we'll have to wait until it all happens.

I do sometimes struggle with guilt, even today. I went through this as a parent with Mark by my side. And my parents understood what we were going through too. But the guilt? Well, I am going through that on my own. I can't share it. Offload it. Blame someone else. And it's hard because I am sat here and I know I am okay, and I know my daughter is too. And will continue to be. But when I think back to the first five months of her life, I know that we all went through that because of who I am. My genetics conquered our lives and one day, my little girl will be a woman and may want a child of her own. And I am going to have to sit her down and tell her, it will be okay, but you need to know what might happen. And I feel like I will have to say sorry again. This time to her face when she is old enough to understand.

I think I just need to accept that I haven't done anything wrong. I didn't do anything bad. I didn't make a mistake. I simply was born this way and I wanted to have children more than anything in the world. I don't think I understood the extent of what was going to happen. It was hard to be me now, and look back on a history I don't remember, and be worried for the future. I just had faith. And my faith may have wavered, but we have come out of the other side and the phrase: "The days are long, but the years are short" could not be more apt.

But what now? Well, now we just enjoy that period of quiet. We do have a hospital appointment on Wednesday - a paediatric check-up to see how Daisy is doing - but other than that, it should be a quiet Christmas for us. Which is all we could want for at this time of year.

Just to enjoy our daughter. Our son. To put this magical and challenging year in that box of memories. The year that tested us. The year that pushed us to the limits. But the year that our beautiful daughter was born. And the year that we became a family of four.

It is going to be okay.

25 Signs That It's Nearly Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Nov 2016 07:30:00 GMT

1) Even though your Christmas tree was practically collapsing last year, under the weight of the hundreds of decorations you already own, suddenly you need LOTS MORE.

2) Having a theme for your Christmas gift-wrapping is definitely a thing.

3) But the thought of writing Christmas cards feels like homework.

4) You don’t normally buy that much coffee, but all of a sudden it is your quest to hold a Starbucks red cup in your hand with a suitable background from which to photograph it from. *Uploads to Instagram: "Red cups are finally here! Woo!"*

5) The Christmas emojis are out in full-swing, Because everything is better said with a Santa face.

6) You’re ready to fight your corner over the best Christmas song of all time. Ahem...Mariah Carey...

7) The one present your child wants is the one present that is out of stock everywhere. Hatchimals - I'm looking at you.

8) You spend about three hours of your life (that you'll never get back) untangling fairy lights.

9) The Christmas deals always seem to be on when you have exactly 61p in your bank account.

10) Your weekly food shops start to contain random additions such as chestnuts and After Eights. The latter of which will need repurchasing because you ate them absentmindedly while watching X Factor last weekend.

11) You begin to panic that all of the turkey will be sold out and you’ll ruin Christmas. Even though this has never happened before, ever.

12) You wonder just how many pigs in blankets is too many pigs in blankets and realise that there is no such thing as too many pigs in blankets, and buy 50.

13) You wear red lipstick. Because it’s dead festive. This also goes for glittery nail varnish and sometimes tinsel.

14) The work Christmas party suddenly becomes the social event of the year. Until someone suggests a seating plan.

15) The battle of the Christmas adverts is on. A boxer on a trampoline, a carrot, Mrs Claus (my personal favourite).

16) Ah, mulled wine. Drink it because it is officially the beverage of Christmas. All the time. It’s warm so the alcohol is pretty much burned off right?

17) Suddenly, festive prints have never been so appealing. Must buy Christmas socks. Snowman leggings. And find the perfect Christmas jumper that is both stylish and correctly defines me as a person.

18) It’s the only time of year that you ever Google: “Things to do with sprouts.”

19) It’s socially acceptable to hang fairy lights off everything. Like beds, windowsills and toddlers.

20) The idea of buying Christmas outfits for your pets has crossed your mind more than once.

21) You buy a ridiculously festive pair of Christmas pyjamas for your kids to open on Christmas Eve, with full knowledge that they will still be wearing them come June. We just won’t Instagram that though.

22) You wish for snow, every day, until it snows, and you’re blissfully happy when it does. But because you’re British you start whinging two hours later, because you’re cold, traffic is a nightmare and you’ve just fallen over.

23) You have sudden urges to watch Love Actually, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Holiday, Elf, Miracle on 34th Street and Home Alone 1 & 2, but not 3, because that kid is not Macaulay Culkin.

24) Suddenly everything tastes better when it tastes of Christmas. You buy Christmas sandwiches on your lunch-break. You seriously consider a Christmas dinner-themed pizza. Mince pie cookies? I shall buy them all. Coffee that doesn’t taste like coffee but actually cake – YES.

25) You remember that there are two types of people in the world – clearly defined by whether or not you have ever uttered the phrase: “But it’s still November!”

10 Things Every Mama Needs for Winter

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 15:53:00 GMT

Slipper Boots / Cecilia Ahern's Lyrebird / Tom Ford Black Orchid / Rimmel & Kate Super Gel Rock & Sparkle / Candle (Homesense instore) / Mummy and the Munch Bobble Hat / Turtleneck Jumper / Monogram Mug / MAC's Whirl and Sin Lipsticks / Next Supersoft Fleece Bed Set

So, I haven't done a post like this in yonks. I think it's because I have - after a long time of being pregnant, postpartum, and finding myself again after everything that has happened - only just started to take an interest in myself and the way I feel and the way I look. Plus, this time of year is a tinker for convincing you that you need a few new 'treats'. Must be those cosy evenings.

All of these things I have been loving recently, mainly for obvious reasons. The fleecy bedding from Next is now a holy grail when it comes to being warm in Winter. It makes getting in bed even more of a luxury when you are a knackered mama. Admittedly it also makes it harder to get out of bed, but beggars can't be choosers.

The perfume is a spicy/sweet mix that I find really sexy and festive. I've switched over to this for a bit, after using Marc Jacobs Daisy all Summer. I quite fancy getting a bottle of Thierry Mugler's Angel as well at some point - perhaps one for the Christmas list!

The nail polish is basically Christmas in a bottle, and I think I'm allowed to mention the C-word now, so hopefully you don't hate me for that. It's so sparkly and festive and the formula is great too, if you're on a budget.

I am trying not to go on social media too much at the moment. I find it can be bad for me sometimes. So I've been stocking up on books - perfect for under a blanket, on the sofa, I think. I love Cecelia Ahern's books, so Lyrebird had to be mine when I spotted it. Thank goodness for Mark and Amazon Prime. The mug I shouted about in a recent Christmas Haul over on my YouTube channel (would love it if you subscribed), as are the slipper boots.

The bobble hat is a thing of beauty - especially because Bill and Daisy both have matching-but-not-matching ones too. I don't know if everyone on the school run thinks they are as cool as I do, but I absolutely love seeing our reflections in shop windows as we walk along. A woolly, cosy, turtleneck jumper is an essential and does a great job of making my chin look more contoured (always a winner). And those two lipsticks are favourites for when it gets a bit cooler. I love a vampy lip more than a red at this time of year I think!

Stokke Trailz Grey Melange Review

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 28 Oct 2016 11:26:00 +0100

When Daisy was in hospital, I remember a huge van pulling up outside our house and I had no idea why it was there. Then, when a delivery man came to the door with box after box, I spotted the Stokke® logo and I was so touched.

I want to be honest outright that I was sent this pram for the purpose of this review, and the generosity of Stokke® is so very much appreciated (we also have the Stokke® TrippTrapp, which I'll be reviewing in a separate post.

We were sent the Stokke® Trailz™ in Grey Melange, which is probably the most beautiful shade for a pram that I have ever seen. It's a gentle, soft grey and a perfect neutral shade to boot, which is handy as we would like a third child one day and it would suit a little boy or a little girl, as in Daisy's case.
I remember putting it together in our hallway. We'd just got home from hospital when the delivery arrived and I remember being really quite upset, and this gave me such a boost at the time. I remember thinking: "One day, I will get to push her around in this." And building it couldn't have been simpler really. You just need to attach the wheels and choose either the carrycot, or the adjustable set to sit atop of the chassis. I was only a week postpartum and it wasn't difficult for me at all.

As it was, I only really got to use the Stokke® Trailz™ when Daisy came home. She was six weeks and one day old when she finally came home to her family, and, admittedly, in the beginning, we didn't go out much as we had a lot to adjust to with all of her care.

When we finally felt confident enough, I remember plucking up the courage to go out for lunch with my family and the Stokke® Trailz™ was an absolute God-send. Why?

Two reasons:

The basket - I think you would honestly struggle to find one as large as the one on the Stokke® Trailz™. Because of the height of the seat, it isn't just big, it has a lot of depth too. And, when Daisy was smaller, she had a lot of a equipment that we needed to bring around with us. And the Trailz was the only pram we could use to accommodate all of that easily. It's a very personal preference - not everyone has to cart around a huge suction machine and a sats monitor - but it was a saviour for us.
The height - I think this is a bonus for all Stokke® owners, as I see this point raised a lot. But the height of Stokke® prams are just amazing. You baby is right in view at all times, and you can make eye contact easily and keep a close watch on them too. This last point was a big deal for me, because when I was out and about I needed to know that Daisy was okay. I needed to be able to see if she was breathing, and managing. And the Stokke® Trailz™ gave me a way to do that easily, and for that I am truly thankful.

As it is now, Daisy is absolutely fine. My baby girl is thriving and we moved up from the carrycot to the proper seat when she was around the five month mark, which was around September time. I loved this even more because I really could interact with my baby who was starting to show off her little personality, and while the equipment that we once needed is long gone, I still adore the basket.

Why? Well I'm not a very confident driver to tell the truth. I don't mind driving around my local village or the nearby towns, but that's about it. And I would honestly just prefer to walk. I have everything on my doorstep anyway, so a basket is key for me, which makes the Stokke® Trailz™ a great fit for our family, as I can load it to the brim with shopping, a changing bag, my son's book bag from school, toys, rain covers, coats. You name it. And it all stays in too, which is an extra bonus.

Now, I couldn't talk about the Stokke® Trailz™without talking about its primary purpose.

Built for adventure, Stokke® Trailz™ takes you wherever you want to go – in all seasons and in all terrains. That's the general gist of it. And it's absolutely great on rough terrain, hills, countryside etc. It handles mud brilliantly - this would always be my pram of choice in bad weather hands down - and with the colder months creeping in, I'm certain it would be brilliant in snow too. In fact, I reckon it would probably stop me from falling over it's that sturdy.

We took the Stokke® Trailz™away with us to Centre Parcs, and while it is large and did fill the majority of our boot space, we still managed to pack everything a family of four needed for five days away, and that included a baby bouncer, countless toys and two massive holdalls, plus food. And we only have a Ford Focus, so I reckon that you'd happily be able to take this on a shopping trip and not struggle if you have a similar sized car.

At Centre Parcs, it was perfect for walking around and also using as something to carry all of our things - whether that was the changing bag, or our swimming gear, or even just toys for the kids. One perk we also found while we were there is that the Stokke® Trailz™is the perfect height for eating out with a baby. If your baby isn't yet big enough for a high chair, the Stokke® Trailz™is a life-saver. Daisy was comfortably positioned and at eye level while we ate, so she didn't feel left out and was much happier, which meant we could eat away in peace.

And, like all Stokke® strollers, the seat positions of the Stokke® Trailz™ lifts your baby higher to encourage that connection between you and your child.

The attention to detail with any of the Stokke® products I have used is second to none. Everything is so well made and nothing is overlooked. And the brand is incredibly stylish too, which I think is a great thing, because if you are going to invest in a pram, you want to be happy pushing it around. It's just as much for you as it is for baby I think.

The only downside for the Stokke® Trailz™, at least for us personally, are that the wheels, while great on an adventure, can sometimes stick out and about on pavements or firmer terrain. I have tried the wheels both looked, or on swivel, and I tend to get the same issue from time to time. I am going to try and inflate the wheels a bit more soon to see if this helps, but I wonder if it is just me, or if other parents find the same thing?

Either way, it hasn't stopped me using it at all, and I do love the compliments we get when we use it, as it's a firm favourite with other mums from what I've seen!

And Daisy certainly loves it too!

You can find the Stokke® Trailz™ for around £1,200 at the moment. And while dear, I would happily repurchase should ours not last, thought I don't doubt for a second that it will!

Daisy's Yellow, White & Grey Nursery Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Oct 2016 20:30:00 +0100

I've been asked for a tour of Daisy's room quite a lot over the past few months. And I really wanted to get it done, but initially she wasn't sleeping in there at all, and then it was a case of getting a last few bits. I won't ramble on too much in this post, because I have a video tour at the end, but I thought I would include any links to things that are still available, so you can purchase them yourself if you like them!

So in terms of a theme, I don't really suppose that there is one in a strict sense. I just knew that I wanted to create a calm space that used yellow, grey and white as the predominant colours. We went for white walls because Daisy may not be into yellow and grey when she gets older, so we have the opportunity to change out the colours easily then.

I also wanted it to be a really calm, dozy place. So like a warm, hazy, sunny day. Or a bit like that sleepy feeling at dusk. That sounds really silly doesn't it? But it started off the introduction of the warm yellows and the twinkling stars. And counting sheep. And dreams. And just...happiness.

I am really pleased with how her room has turned out. It's a lovely, happy little space, and I no doubt imagine it will grow and change as Daisy grows and changes too.

I loved finding little bits here and there, and I think I will continue to find little touches to add as time goes on. That's part of the fun though isn't it?

So, the star of the show is always the cot isn't it? It is the piece that you centre the rest of the room around. And, while Daisy's room isn't huge (it used to be our bathroom actually, if you remember our renovations when I was pregnant!) we did manage to make an area that makes the cot the centre-piece and somewhere lovely for her to sleep!

And as you can see in the photograph above - she absolutely loves it. And yes - we need to lower that cot soon. She can't pull herself to sitting yet, but can pretty much sit unaided. It's nearly time! Sob!

We have the Izziwotnot Bailey Cot Bed, which we were sent to review back when I was still whale-like and pregnant. I remember Mark building it and listening to The Weeknd's Beauty Behind the Madness album, while I just tried my best to look like I was doing a good job. It was a lovely memory actually and I love that it's triggered by music, because I know I will never forget it now.

I really wanted a sturdy white cot bed for Daisy. Bill's cot bed was second hand and it was perfect at the time (have a blast from the past at a very old-school nursery tour of his in my old house if you'd like, back when I used my phone for photos), but it was missing a screw after we moved and while we found one to replace it, I felt really panicky that it wasn't safe enough.

So the Bailey Cot Bed is perfect. It's got structure, a little curve to it, with that sleigh style, and it also has a large draw that you can store (hide) lots of things in. We stuffed ours with blankets, muslin cloths and nappies. And it's so nice to have that extra bit of storage, which we need in a room of Daisy's size.

We also have a lovely firm mattress and Daisy sleeps so much better in her nursery than she did in our room in the end. Initially, we had the SnüzPod (read my review of the SnüzPod here), which we absolutely loved and have dismantled and stored away for baby number three, should we be lucky enough. But when Daisy got to around five months, we went away to Centre Parcs and put her in a travel cot and she seemed to enjoy spreading out. She is also a very long baby, so she started to outgrow it around that time too. So the move was great for all of us. The first time we laid her down to sleep in her cot, I got all emotional and jittery, (we even had two baby monitors on) but I needn't of worried as she slept so well, and having her in her own room has given us some of our time back too. We have more time as a couple and I can lounge around in bed at night and watch YouTube or read a book without being terrified of waking a baby up!

The Bailey Sleigh Cot Bed comes in white, oak or mahogany, and even a limited edition grey too (so on trend), and the brilliant thing about Izziwotnot is that you can buy bundles, so cot and mattress bundles, or even matching wardrobes and chests of drawers from the Bailey range, which is great way to save money. I think this cot bed will last well through Daisy's baby and toddler days (in fact, let me know if you'd like an update when we use this as a cot bed in the future and I'll do one!) and we'll be saving this for our third too!

So let me get into the rest of the nursery and let you know where things are from!

The cloud cot mobile is one of my favourite things. I love how it ties in with the room and it was one for the first things I purchased, back when I was pregnant. It's made of stuffed felt and the stars hang from the cloud by invisible thread. It seems to sway and swirl with the heat in the room and Daisy always looks up and coos at it. I bought it from this eBay seller, and she does custom colours too!

I don't suppose you'd believe me if I said that JellyCat bunny was only six months old, just like Daisy, would you? He accompanied her around both hospitals, and I washed him regularly to keep the bugs at bay, and also when Daisy went through a sickness stage, old Dave (that's his name) was a victim on many occasions. He is so loved though. She always pulls him to her and nuzzles into his body. Very cute!

The milk bottle rattle is cute isn't it? I bought that from The Milk Collective. They have a grey one now too. I want it. More than I should admit!

The felt ball garland is from a lovely Instagram and Etsy seller, who goes by the name of SausageandMissus. Gosh, I must have bough this about a year ago now! I've had it for so long. And I used to get it out of its bag and peek at it every once in a while. It sort of helped me to imagine a finished nursery and not a building site, which it was at the time. The seller, Mege, is so lovely and I recommend her lots and lots!

So this little guy is the most recent addition. I had some notonthehighstreet vouchers that my Channel Mum family saved up for and got me when Daisy was in hospital. I had been keeping them until a few things caught my eye. And this little sheep's head definitely caught my eye. We actually have a wooden stag's head in our living room, and Bill has a stuffed teddy head (sounds far more morbid than it actually is) in his room. So when I saw him, it seemed a good idea. Especially because, well, you count sheep before bed don't you? And yes, Daisy can't count, and nor does she know what a sheep is (yet), but he was added to the basket and that was that! He's fair trade too!

This custom dreamcatcher was another Instagram find, and I also had one made for my friend's little girl too. Daisy and Thalia were both born with Pierre Robin Sequence (as I was), so this is to symbolise them both chasing their dreams and not giving up. I chose a white, gold and yellow theme for Daisy's, and Thalia has pink, silver and white. They are beautiful and so intricately delicate. We have ours hung to one side of Daisy's cot, on her wardrobe, which not only fits perfectly, but it also ties her wardrobe in to the rest of the room more.

I had to add another sheep touch in the form of this little guy, LEKA, from IKEA. If you pull his woolly bum, he plays a lullaby. He's absolutely lovely. The rug is actually from George at Asda, as I wanted one with a warmer tone to it. We have a cool white one in our bedroom from IKEA though, and both are cheap.

Just had to include a little snapshot of my little flower enjoying her bedroom for you here. Little poser.

The window may not seem like much, but it has a lovely view of Lyme Park if you look to the right and I love watching our sleepy road stretch out beneath it. While Daisy is at the front of the house, it doesn't matter because it's so quiet here. It also means that we have a baby either side of us too, as our room is at the front, and Bill's is at the back, next to ours.

The blinds may not seem like a normal choice, but I love them. We haven't got blackout blinds or curtains with either child because I try my best to encourage them to sleep, regardless of the light outside. And it might seem daft but it works for me! These are actually Swish Cordless Venetian Blinds and they are in both kids' rooms and they are ridiculously easy to fit and don't have any dangerous cords, so we can have that clean look, and no kids hanging off the curtains, and I can adjust the level of light that comes into the room too, which I find really useful.

I have three sets of Cable & Cotton lights in our house. Some on our mantlepiece, some in Bill's rooms and the last set in Daisy's. I custom-selected the two sets in the bedrooms, to match the colours of the rooms. And Bill's are bright and funky and Daisy's are soft and serene. They work brilliantly as a night-light and create a lovely soft glow, which I like for dream feeds.

This cloud hanger (there are a range of colours to chose from) is just a little touch to display some of my favourite clothes of Daisy's. Especially as she grows out of them. Or gets something special. This zebra playsuit from John Lewis (sadly out of stock now, but there are matching sleep suits!) has hung there for a while because it looks so cute and it was one of my favourite things that Daisy wore over the Summer.

Ah! So cute! Sorry. I had a moment while writing this just now, but just look at her. The rocking horse was an old eBay steal. It's vintage and a bit battered but doesn't that just make it better? It's in her room as it once was in Bill's and she's only just starting to enjoy it. And I love little touches like this that I can pass down through our family.

You may just notice that I have little, tiny yellow stars suspended from the ceiling through the nursery. I made these myself, finding wooden stars on eBay (similar), spray painting them, and attaching them to the ceiling with invisible thread. They are perfect and look so lovely when the light hits them. I sort of feel like the spherical lampshade from George at Asda seems like a moon or a sun, depending on how you look at it.

This battered, old-school thing is 28 years-old. It's Dozy Daisy - sheer coincidence - and she was mine as a little girl. I adored her, and Bill did too, and now it's Daisy's turn. She squeaks when you pull her plant pot and wakes up. And that's often how I wake in the morning now, just the same as my parents did.

The sheet is from eBay (seller no longer in action, sadly), the star cushion from Molly Meg, the tie dye sleep suit is from The Dye Emporium (I asked them to make this for Daisy and they have added it to their line now!) and the Pandemonium GroBag is from the Gro Company.

And I think that is everything! I've done a room tour on my YouTube channel, which you can see below if you'd like (please subscribe!). Let me know if you'd like to see Bill's room next and I'll tidy it for you and show you around.

Watch the room tour:

Affording the future #ad

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 Oct 2016 09:09:00 +0100

*This post is in collaboration with the new Aviva Shape my Future tool. The Aviva Shape my Future tool uses simple inputs to give a basic idea of retirement income. Details of assumptions are available at Aviva.co.uk.

So, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I have partnered up with the Aviva Shape my Future tool, looking at my future and my pension. And before you switch off and think I’ve gone into boring territory - hear me out.

The Shape my Future tool essentially helps you to work out what you can expect to live like in the future, once you start to receive your state pension, and use any personal pensions and savings you might have to. And yes, I’m 28, and my pension will kick in in forty years, so it’s a long way away. But after taking the tool I’m all too aware that I haven’t been saving enough for what I expected my retirement to be.

And I do want to live for now, but the future is always there in the back of my mind. And I want to be ready for whatever it has in store for me.

So, the Shape my Future tool told me that I can expect to live on £273 a week. And so, I wondered how far that would go if I lived on that today.

So let’s look at my spends for the week.

Family Spends

Food - £80 per week. Though this does cover a family of four.
Formula - £10 per week. I won’t have a baby daughter at 68, but I will hopefully have some grandchildren that I’d like to spoil.
Nappies - I’m lucky that a family member is able to get me nappies for Daisy, but that would be a huge cost otherwise.
Slimming World - I pay £4.95 per week to attend a group, though I can save money if I buy in bulk which I will do.
Swimming Lessons - I pay monthly for Bill’s swimming lessons, but that would work out at around £5 per week.
My Phone Bill - £40 per month, but around £10 per week if you average it out.
Treats - Only yesterday I paid £11 at Costa for a couple of drinks and some cake for Bill. And I like to do special things now and again, because what is life without cake and coffee and companionship?
Mortgage - Our mortgage is higher since we took extra out for our extension, so we’d be looking at £200 a week there.

And that means I’m already at £320.95 and I haven’t even considered other bills, internet, television licence, insurance, fuel, clothes, toiletries, toys, trips out, holidays, or any of the little extras we forget about. And I’m over budget by almost £50.

So yes, by the time I’m 68, I probably won’t have a mortgage to pay, and my children won’t be eating me out of house and home, but I will have Mark and I know we’d like to see more of the world as we had our children young, and I’d like to do that. I’d like to travel. I’d like to spoil my family and my grandchildren.

And it’s not going to be possible unless I start to put more away.

So, while it’s not exactly the best news I’ve received this week, I’d suggest giving it a go. You may be pleasantly surprised, or you may just be inspired to start saving up a bit more, and contributing to your pension more.

Just so your future, is a little bit more like the way you’d hope it to be. At least this part we can control. So we might as well give our 68 year-old selves a hand right?

A visit to the Kenyon Hall Farm Pumpkin Patch

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 23 Oct 2016 20:27:00 +0100

Half-term started this weekend. And we were pretty determined to have a week that was fairly full of things to do, because we didn't want to waste it. Because of paternity leave and shared parental leave, Mark still has lots of holiday to use, so we've got nine days of family time.

And even though I am excited for days in my pyjamas (I'd like at least two), no one can stay in the house for nine days straight. Not with kids anyway.

I love this time of year. Not necessarily Halloween as such, but the whole sense of Autumn. The leaves and the coffee and the woolies and the wellies and the whole Harvest Festival vibe, with plump squashes and pumpkins.

I really wanted to find a pumpkin patch this year. But I sort of expected there to not be one up North, because the North can take a bit longer to catch on with things sometimes. The Costa in our village has only just started promoting flat whites, as an example. But then that's village life for you I think!

But I was beyond wrong, because there are a fair few places around here that are getting in on the pumpkin action - and Kenyon Hall Farm is one of them.

We did weigh-up going last weekend, but then we ended up hitting IKEA instead - because we know how to have fun with two kids - so I was really anxious to go this weekend before all the pumpkins were snapped up.

And I'm so glad we did.

Kenyon Hall Farm is near Warrington, which is about 40 minutes away from us in the car. It wasn't too bad a drive because both kiddos fell asleep. Which left us with a good half hour of adult quiet before the fun began.

We managed to get a parking spot right next to the shop and cafe, and I bundled Daisy up in the wrap because I didn't fancy our chances with a pram in the mud and I like baby-wearing a lot now Daisy is tube-free (we have the We Made Me Wuti Wrap if you wondered which wrap we use).

I wonder if you can guess why we took a photograph of this sign...

It was about 10:30am, by the time we got there, and it was already filling up, with people already leaving. I took the advice of a lovely lady I know who said to go early (thanks Alice!) and I am so glad we did, because it meant we had our pumpkins picked and we could nab a table outside the café while everyone else arrived.

I didn't really do much pumpkin picking myself - squatting with a baby in a wrap makes me feel what I imagine sumo wrestlers feel like. I can't really see my feet and I feel a big like a pregnant Weeble again, which is the nice thing about it really. It's nice to be back how we used to be, close and snug.

Mark and Bill rambled around and took a good half hour picking two pumpkins - one for Bill and one for Daisy. I love the wonky, muddy, rough and ready look of the ones they chose. Makes you realise how all the perfect ones are picked for the supermarket shelves, but these felt even more 'Halloween' as they will look brilliant when they are carved. We haven't carved ours yet - we'll save that for a day this week as an extra something to do.

The sky was beautiful that morning. It felt earlier than it was somehow, like just after sunrise, or maybe even a touch of dusk. It was blue and purply-grey and the way it looked above the garish orange and bright Autumn colours was beautiful.

There was also a Maize Maze and a park too, which we didn't try, just because of how busy it was and how hungry Bill was. But it could be more than just a short trip if you wanted it to be. Especially with the lovely farm shop and cafe.

I love this photograph. Mark is deep in concentration, navigating his way back to me and Daisy. And Bill is busy trying his best to lift a pumpkin. He kept dropping it and falling over because it was too heavy for him. It did make me laugh.

Yay for dinosaur wellies that match your pumpkin.

It was so nice to be outside and surrounded by lots of families and friends laughing. I loved seeing parents taking photographs of their kids sat in wheelbarrows or holding their prize pumpkin. And seeing little ones toddle around, unsteady in wellies, and little babies looking like Pumpkin Patch Dolls (see what I did there?) - all round and fat next to these giant orange vegetables, with no clue what they were doing and what they were.

I like being in places like that. Places where people are happy and you can feel it in the air.

I also managed to get a few photographs of our own too. I couldn't resist. And Mark even got a couple with me in too. I'm never really in photographs. I am the one with the cameras around my neck, or spilling out of my pockets. And this is my hobby, not my family's. When we are out and about I try and be as discreet and natural as possible because we don't go to these places so I can get photographs. If I can, then it's great. But a lot of the time I only take them last minute as I get too wrapped up in the experience. Which is a good thing I think!

Plus, I've lost over a stone now, and sort of felt a bit more comfortable being in front of the camera, rather than behind it. It was strange seeing photographs of me while edited them this weekend. I didn't realise how nice it would be to see a proud mother and her babies together. Me, and my babies together.

I do love my little boy. He didn't really understand what on earth we were doing at first, I don't think. I think he thought it was an awful lot of effort just for a pumpkin. Especially when his hands were getting cold and he couldn't carry them. But he soon warmed up. And found it more exciting picking one for his baby sister than anything else.

I kept Daisy wrapped to my chest most of the time as it was cold that morning and I didn't want to sit her down in the mud outside, as she's still quite dinky bless her. We did let her have a feel of the ready-picked pumpkins in the big tent though. And she was fascinated by them - patting and stroking them and generally looking baffled.

There was the opportunity to have faces painted, and carve pumpkins and listen to spooky stories. But hell hath no fury like a hungry Bill, so we headed to the farm café for proper bacon and sausage barms, and a piping hot brew, or a Fruit Shoot if you were Bill.

The sun actually started to come out then. And it was lovely to be out in the Autumn air, eating our food and chatting, while Daisy tucked into a little rice wafer after her bottle. She's loving moving into the baby-led weaning territory now. Though it would be helped if she had a tooth or two!

Before we left, we had a mooch around the farm shop, buying some fresh bacon, olives, ground coffee (which I'll be all over tomorrow morning), and a toffee apple for Bill.

I got a little bit over excited in there - I always seem to do that around fresh produce and artisan bits and pieces. I know that sounds a bit daft and poncy, but I love to cook and I find myself running my hands over bottles and reading labels and smelling vegetables. It's ridiculous but it makes me so happy. Luckily I am trying to lose weight at the moment, or I would have spent a fortune (mainly on cheese and olives).

I'm ending this post with this photograph, because it makes me so happy to have one of me and my boy and my girl. I feel like this is my favourite so far. I look happy, and content and proud. And you can see how much I love these little pumpkins of mine.

I really, really do.

If you're around my way, and you fancy doing the same, the pumpkin picking is still on for half-term. But I noticed on the Kenyon Hall Farm Facebook page that they are running low on pumpkins and they will have more ready on Tuesday, if that helps! If you go, I'd go early and I'd take a baby wrap, sling or carrier if you have a little one.

Our Review of the Doona Car Seat

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 22 Oct 2016 07:30:00 +0100

I am really excited to do this review, because it's rare that I'm blown away by something these days. I think it comes with age doesn't it? Bill finds a pretty pebble on the floor and it's the best thing he's every seen, but when you're a grown-up mother of two, the best thing you can usually think of is sleep!

But this is one of my favourite baby products that I have used with Daisy in the past six months, and I will honestly be a bit gutted when she grows out of it.

If you hadn't already guessed, this is the Doona™ - the next generation car seat. And I think it can own that claim quite well actually.
Now, we all know that, when we are pregnant, one of the key things we need to buy before the baby arrives is a car seat. In fact, they don't tend to let you leave the hospital without one, for safety reasons. And I think we can all remember how it feels to finally leave hospital with a car seat holding the most precious cargo you could imagine.

And then there's that first car journey home, where your other half will drive as slowly possible, wincing at every bump in the road, while you sit lovingly in the back, gazing at your tiny baby.

And that's just the beginning isn't it?

But the one issue with car seats is that they are heavy things, and can be difficult to use out and about. You usually need to make sure yours will adapt and work as a travel system, which means, as well as the car seat and all of your baby items, you need to fit the chassis of your pram in the boot as well. Which doesn't leave room for much else if you're planning a shopping trip or going away for the weekend.

And this is where the Doona™ comes into its own.

So what is the Doona™?

The Doona™is a car seat that is not only approved and safe for your baby to use, but it also comes with inbuilt collapsible wheels, which convert it from a traditional car seat, into a mobile one. So you can take baby from car to wherever you like - it's with you from A to B.

Not only is it extremely functional, and designed with the needs of parents in mind, but it's also gorgeously designed, and you know it's a Doona right away when you spot one, even when the wheels aren't in use.

The specs

The Doona™also features a five point harness, is made from approved baby-safe materials, complies with the highest EU, US and even some local standards. And, in frontal collisions (the most common type of crash) it scored a high, five-star rating.

If you would like to know more about the safety of the Doona™ I would recommend visiting the Doona™ website as they have a lot of safety information available to put your mind at ease.

Suitability (EU)

Rearward facing infant car seat
Group: 0+
Infant Weight: 1.8-13Kg (approximately 28 pounds - so that could be from around nine months to a year or even more, depending on your baby)
Product weight: 7kg

Installation

You can secure and fix it to your car by using the seat belt, as with many standard car seats, or the Doona Isofix Base, defending on whether or not your car has isofix points.

This is really simple to do, either way, and we've had no issues fitting the Doona™into our car - we have a Ford Focus if that helps! It fits easily with plenty of space.

Comfort

The Doona™ was developed over several years, with the key focus of making sure that baby was comfortable and safe, both inside, and outside of the car. The Doona™ is designed to achieve maximum protection for baby when in the car, performing to all safety regulations. It also has a design that is inspired by the position of a baby in its mother's arms, making it much more comfortable for quick trips out and about in the stroller function. It also comes with an infant insert, to make sure your baby is safe and secure from birth onwards. This supports your baby's posture by mimicking a natural position - which is useful to know when they seem so fragile in those early days.

While the key thing about the Doona™ is the ability to go beyond the car, it's worth noting that, as with any stroller, car seat or other such device, medical professionals agree that a baby should not be restrained for long periods of time. So this wouldn't be the choice for a long day trip out, unless you were planning on taking the baby out for a break, regularly.

Colour options

It comes in seven colours (which I've included below), and despite being a total grey lover, I decided to go with Sky, as it was the colour that stood out to me the most, and I liked that it was nice and bright. Someone also once told me that paramedics prefer bright car seats in the case of a crash as they can identify a car seat straight away and help the baby or child. Not the nicest fact in the world but worth noting all the same.

Usability

So, is it easy to get those wheels up and down with no issues? Yes. Surprisingly actually.

The handle of the Doona™has three positions:

Anti-rebound - while in the car.
Upright - as a carrier.
Push - extended handle, while the wheels are down and in use.

You just set the handle to the upright position, and release the white lever at the back of the Doona, and, in one simple motion, the wheels come down and click into place. You can then move the handle into push mode and off you go. To collapse the wheels, move the handle back into the upright position, compress that same lever as before, and use one foot to guide the wheels backwards and up into the Doona body unit. Simple.

You can see a rough example below of these various stages.

Accessories

The Doona™ comes with a range of accessories to make using it even more convenient to use. We have the Snap On Storage, Rain Cover, and Seat Protector. The Snap On Storage for me personally is a genius idea.

If I know I'm not going to be out long, I toss in a couple of nappies, some wipes, a toy, a muslin cloth and a change of clothes and I don't have to lug about my changing bag as well and I've got my hands free to concentrate on pushing the Doona™or keeping an eye on Bill (who is four and obviously walks!). It can actually hold up to 3kg of items - and we've had my phone, camera, wallet, toys of Bill's bottles, snacks, you name it. It fits on really easily and blends into the design too, which is a perk. I also keep the Rain Cover in here when we are out and about.

Which brings me on to that - I love that it has a Rain Cover that fits properly. It's so useful for those drizzly days and it's really well made - not the sort to tear over time. And it has a bag to keep it in as well. We always have ours to hand so we are never caught out. The Doona does have a canopy attached anyway, that could offer a little protection if you were caught in a drizzle while getting back to the car, but I would really recommend getting the Rain Cover as well.

And then there's the Seat Protector. This is useful, but it can slide about a bit in our car, so I wonder if that could be a tweak for the future - just to make sure it's properly fixed to the seat so it can protect them better. I would suggest that you could just lie an old blanket underneath instead, but I wouldnt' want to risk that in case it lessens the effectiveness of the Doona's™ installation and safety. So in that case, it's worth buying if you have a nice new car and are precious about the seats!

I can't comment on the other accessories available, as we've not used them, but I think it's great that there is so much choice.

Our experience

We have had it for over six months now and it's been an absolute life-saver for us. And I'm aware that sounds dramatic - and it is, this is me we are talking about here - but I'd like to explain.

Example one - hospital

When Daisy first came home, we didn't really get the chance to sink into family life, close the door on the world, and enter a bubble like we had hoped and intended to, after so long of waiting. We were on a limit as to how far we could travel by car while she had a breathing tube in, and the furthest we could go is hospital. Which is just as well, as we went there a lot.

The hospital where Daisy was born (and where Bill was born) can be notoriously bad when it comes to parking. And no matter how early you arrive for your appointment, you can guarantee you will spend ages looking for a space. And you end up flying through the hospital doors, a blur of baby, muslins and dummies, rushing to get to the right department on time.

But with the Doona™, even if I only had minutes to spare, I was able to just lift Daisy out of the car and let the wheels down, and I was good to go. There was no faffing with the boot, fiddling around with the chassis and adaptors, and I just went on my way.

It also meant I was able to fit easily in waiting rooms, and wasn't taking up too much space, and I was even able to collapse the legs and go up and down stairs without hanging around for the busy lift.

This was outside the hospital on one of those many trips! Look how tiny she was!

Example two - school run

There have been quite a few times where I have had to go out and about before the school run (usually to hospital ironically), so instead of walking to collect Bill with our pram, I would instead have to find a parking spot and park up and take Daisy with me.

You spend a lot of time rushing to school and then waiting about for the children to be ready, so while I could have carried Daisy or popped her in a sling, she was able to stay comfortable, dry (if it was raining) and asleep too. So I didn't have to disturb her, and it was so much easier than what I would have to do otherwise. Plus - the Doona™ is incredibly compact and those wheels are nippy and move really well - which surprises me - so I find navigating in and out of the crowds of parents and children much easier than I do with a pram.

This was a nursery run actually - before Bill started school - but you get the idea!

Example three - public transport

The amazing thing about the Doona is that it is so public transport-friendly. I have yet to go and visit work - which is based in Manchester - but it's something that I want to do soon. And when I do, I will be taking the Doona™, purely because I can always collapse the wheels and sit her next to me on a seat, rather than lurk by the doorway of the train, which can get very busy. Plus, it's compact enough to get around Manchester easily and I can manage the stairs up to work with no problem too. Definitely taking the lift up to our floor though because I don't think I want to carry her up three flights of stairs!

Example four - visiting family

I know that this applies to most car seats really, but when I do go out and about and visit family, and someone suggests an impromptu walk, or to sit outside, I love the fact that I can say: "Yes! Why not?" Daisy can get out and about with me, and I don't have be prepared with an entire pram in the boot of the car all the time. Plus, it means Daisy can also be brought inside if she has fallen asleep in the car, and I can put her at eye level; raised up off the floor and out of the way of pets and bigger children too.

What's the verdict?

So, I think it's clear that I love the Doona™. And I'll be honest actually, I didn't expect to love it this much when I was offered it to review, back when I was pregnant with Daisy. I thought it may just be useful now and again, but it has proved me wrong. I will be sad when Daisy grows out of it - I really will. I was talking to Mark about this review and he says, hands-down, it's his most favourite baby item that we have used so far. So you get both of our approvals on this one!

In terms of cost? Well, the Doona™ will set you back £299.00, and the accessories range from £9.99, to £99.00 as well. That's a lot. But then a decent 0+ car seat will cost you from around £100.00, regardless, and they don't have the additional functionality and flexibility that the Doona™offers. And, if you bear in mind that the Doona™removes the need for a travel system, you could save money elsewhere, depending on the type of pram or pushchair you buy.

I'm not saying I wouldn't gulp when I passed over my debit card exactly, but if you tried to take it off me now, you'd have a fight on your hands!

Happy Half Birthday Daisy

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:46:00 +0100

I set this to publish at 04:46. The exact minute she was born, six months ago.

I remember when my tiny girl was first born and she was placed on my chest and she was squinting and adjusting to the light of being in my world.

And those first couple of hours were beautiful. Just mother and father meeting a little person who they had dreamed of for many months.

I found my head running away with itself and trying to work out who she looked like, despite being puffy and pink from birth. And I was already in a dream land of having two children and my future was being paved before me, by my mind, a yellow brick road of love and opportunity.

When she was diagnosed with a cleft palate, and later my syndrome, that yellow brick road started to grow dirty, and soon it fell away, brick, by brick, and I was left wondering what our path was now. Where would we end up? Where do I go from here? This isn't where I expected to be.

I used to sit by her incubator, and I would feel empty, aside from a stinging, searing pain that manifested itself in heartache and tears that I worked very hard to stop from falling. She was so tiny and her chest would rise up and down sharply. She was struggling. And so was I.

So I would start to allow myself to imagine a better day. I would wonder about next week at first, but those better days came very slowly. And the change was small. So then it became next month. And then soon, it was the month after. Eventually, I found myself thinking ahead to Autumn because, by then, it was the only time I could realistically hope that things would be better.

Don't get me wrong. The Summer of 2016 was a beautiful one. Our daughter came home. We had six weeks of Bill before he went from babyhood to boyhood, and started school. And Daisy started fast proving us all wrong. Hitting milestones early and getting rid of her tubes, one by one, far earlier than expected.

And as the Summer drew to a close, our little girl grew stronger, and those better days became more frequent.

The weather started to turn. A cool breeze at first, a few fallen leaves, conkers, petals gone, green being joined by yellows, oranges, reds, woolly things, hats, coats, scarfs, high sun, darker evenings enveloping around you as your houses glow on a dusky street.

And they call it Fall. And it doesn't sound like a nice season. To fall. But I have fallen. The Summer was where my Spring Daisy grew, and flowered. And the Autumn is where the problems are falling away and I am falling more in love with my daughter each and every single day.

She is now six months old.

Halfway to returning back to the day she was born. Although I know that, when 21st April 2017 rolls around, she'll be entirely different to how she was the year before.

Daisy is the most fascinatingly wonderful creature. I know she is mine, but there is something about her and I think there always will be. From what she has endured she is a very tolerant little thing. She isn't bothered by much at all, unless she isn't part of what's going on - and then you will know about it.

She has slotted in perfectly. She makes life busier for us, but she is very good at adapting to our pace of life. She doesn't ask for much, except that you might hold her and talk to her and let her see everything that you do.

Despite her easy nature, she is feisty at times. But it's easy to tell when it's all for show. She's brilliant at crocodile tears, and the minute she is with you her face turns the right way again and smiles burst through.

Her eyes are possibly the most beautiful ones I have ever seen. They are identical to mine, but somehow brighter. Better. And blue like her father, to my green. Both of my babies seem to have blue eyes, and I wonder if I will always remain the odd one out.

People say eyes are the window to the soul and there is so much soul in Daisy's. They crease when she smiles and they sparkle and dance with the light.

She has her father's brow line and forehead, and her thinking wrinkles are the cutest. Particularly when they are together and both deep in thought. They are so similar it makes me heart hurt.

Her nose is a miniature of her dad's too. But with the telltale signs of our syndrome and sequence - a little button-like for now like mine was, but it soon grows and catches up like mine did.

She has my mouth and smile and we both have that sort of wide-mouthed frog, Wallace smile that I hate on me but adore on her.

She has our colouring - darker, with skin that you can tell will like the sunshine as she grows older. Her hair is like mine, mousey, and will grow lighter for a while, and then darker, settling on what I expect will be a warm, conker brown.

She has no teeth as of yet, but it hasn't stopped her from enjoying her food. We have started baby-led weaning this past week, as she has been on puree for a while (as medically advised by her team to get her nasogastric feeding tube removed). She has been brilliant at food from the get-go, which soothed my worries about it being earlier than normal. She has three meals a day and has started snacking and takes more milk than ever.

Both of my children are long and slim. I was once upon a time, believe it or not. She isn't the chubbiest, but sits just above the 50th percentile line, and weighs over 16lbs now. She moved into 6-9 month clothing around the five month mark as she needed the length, and now she is starting to fill them out width-wise too.

She can roll from bath to front with ease, and seems to travel the floor quite quickly given the chance. She can't yet crawl but has been pushing onto her knees now and again, but usually in anger - we are still in the floor-swimming face-planting stage for now.

She is almost sitting - in fact, she can most definitely sit, but needs to work on her strength so it lasts a bit longer. It's been nice seeing her doing something new and enjoy a new point of view. In fact, Bill asked the other day if Daisy had finished her tea so she could come and play, and while they are a while off playing together, it made me well up as I watched them together, absentmindedly eating spaghetti.

Her physical, mental and social development is right on track, which is a great relief when our syndrome presents some difficulties with sight, hearing and muscle development (and subsequently mobility).

I didn't have any problems that have lasted into adulthood, so I'm quietly confident she will be the same. We now know that we both have Non-Ocular Stickler Syndrome (once known as Marshall Stickler Syndrome), which we have characteristics but our sight isn't affected. She has also passed her hearing tests thus far, but that could change as having a cleft can cause the build-up of fluid in the ear (which is rectified after cleft repair usually).

She won't have surgery until next year. We've been told February, so we're putting that to the back of our minds now and we're hoping to enjoy the next few months as we always hoped to - stress and worry free, aside from the every day struggles and ups and downs of life.

Daisy's favourite things are to try and swipe any electronic device. Phones, iPads, controllers. You name it - she wants it. She loves to be spoken to and will smile at anyone who gives her a moment of their time. She chews a lot - muslins, toys, your hands, her hands, clothes, fabric, spoons. Anything she can get her hands on. I am sure those teeth will appear soon. Bill got his first when he turned exactly seven months old.

She loves to be sang to and to copy your facial expressions. She loves the bath. To get out and about. To be cuddled. To stand on your lap. And to pull my hair or stroke her own hair absentmindedly. She loves her brother and finds him fascinating. Her face lights up when her father gets home from work. Mark is so loved by her, and he is more smitten that I can explain.

One of my favourite parts of the day is when she wakes. Early morning - it could be earlier, or later, I don't much mind - and I get to open the door to her smile and relief when she spots me. I set her free of her sleeping back and bring her too me, as she flaps her arms and kicks her legs excitedly. In my arms, I hold her close, and I can feel her tiny warm body as she nuzzles into my hair. She smells like home. Warm, sweet, soft. That strange sort of intoxicating perfume, the faint smell of wet nappy and bananas from the night before. A slight reminder of her brother, and her father. And the washing powder and fabric softener I always use. And when she snuggles in bed bedside me, just to doze, and turns into me and clings to me, I feel luckier than I thought I ever could. Her dad sleeps next to us, and we are next woken by my Bill and then it's all of us in there together. Absolute perfection in cotton sheets.

She has been our great joy. She has taught us our own strength, and the power that you have when you have love.

We adore her in every way. And I am so blessed that I get to watch her grow.

Daisy - you changed my life. And I will be by your side for as long as you'll let me. I will be your friend, your fighter, your voice while you are small. And you will never know a day without love, because we couldn't love you anymore if we tried.

Happy half birthday little flower.

What does the future hold? #ad

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 04:00:00 +0100

*This post is in collaboration with the new Aviva Shape my Future tool.

The Aviva Shape my Future tool uses simple inputs to give a basic idea of retirement income. Details of assumptions are available at Aviva.co.uk.

I’ve always been the sort of person that strives for the future. And sometimes I have to remind myself to focus on the present, because, truthfully, that is the only thing we truly have. This moment. Right now. The one guarantee. So I do try and live life, day-by-day, but then I can’t help but prepare myself for what might happen next.

I remember when Daisy was born, and I went from asking when we could go home, expecting an answer of that day, to “not today”, to “not tomorrow”, and in the end it was six weeks.

One day, I remember quite clearly. It was boiling hot outside. William was with his dad. And I was sat with Mark. And we were finding that day especially hard. Because we just wanted to be outside. To breathe. To feel the sun on our faces. And to take our baby daughter beyond the hospital walls, and see something new. But we couldn’t. We sat inside the baking neonatal unit, a pale yellow, and a background of beeps, whirs and tiny baby mewling cries. We sat companionably, in silence, taking turns to hold our baby, or to read, or think, or daydream, which I often did.

And I would always imagine now actually. I would imagine the Autumn months. Because, in my head, that was the only time I could imagine us all being home. I imagined Daisy might be okay by then. I imagined that things may be more ‘normal’, and I would look forward to looking forward.

And now we are here, she is six months old today, and it is exactly as I thought it would be. Though different too. Different because the past does still haunt me. And I’m not sure how long that will last, but I am working on it and that’s what counts.

Now I have two children, who are growing at an alarming rate, I find myself wondering what the future holds for us. What will Daisy look like when she gets older? How will Bill do in his first year of school? Will we ever finish this house? Do we need a new car soon? Will I ever lose all of this weight?

And beyond all that - will I get as many years as I hope with Mark, until we are old and grey? Will we do okay on our pensions? Will we ever get a dog? What will I look like as an older lady?

What if? What if? What if?

We already have life insurance in case anything should ever happen to us. We chose all of that when we remortgaged again. And for the first time, it actually felt like a real thing to prepare for. Will our babies be okay without us? How much is enough?

But then, on the other side, we have so much future to look forward to. We are shaping our future every day, in the present. We don’t always realise it. Already we are wondering if we will be blessed with a third child, if we will stay in this house and squish in together, whether we’ll always do the jobs we do or if that might change, and wondering when the fun really starts - when we retire!

I became a mother at 23 years-old - well, I fell pregnant then and that’s when my journey began. I’ve spent the majority of my 20s growing and caring for my children. And if I’ve not been doing that, I’ve been working, saving and doing up houses. I love my life. And I am so pleased with what we have achieved. But I am also looking forward to a future when our kids are grown, and Mark and I can discover the world together, just with a few more wrinkles!

I have a pension, and I’ve had one since I was 21 - I know, I was organised wasn’t I? But the Aviva Shape my Future tool helps you work out what you can expect to receive when you retire, and how to budget and plan ahead. So if you haven’t got a pension, it could spur you on, or at least encourage you to put more away. It also helps you to envisage your future lifestyle and what you would like for yourselves. Think holidays, trips out, meals and food, and even spoiling grandchildren with Christmas presents.

You can select what you would like to see for yourself and then see how that compares to your expected budget. I have realised I need to start saving more if I’d like to live the life I want further down the line. State Pension, at the moment, is £156 per week from when you turn the age of 68. And that may be 40 years away for me just yet, but I already know, from living on Statutory Maternity Pay, that that’s not a lot of money. According to the Shape my Future tool, I can expect to have around £270 to survive on per week in the future, if I continue to pay into my pension. But even then - that doesn’t seem like a lot when you factor in things like bills, and experiences, and even just healthy fruit and veg.

In my next post, I’m going to see how much that weekly allowance would last me and my family for the week and see how achievable that actually is.

I think, as parents, we spent so much time wondering about our children and their future, and whether they will be okay. But I think we also need to remember that we deserve a future to look forward to too. I’m hoping my future includes Mark, three grown children, a Labrador, a holiday once a year, and perhaps a grandbaby or two.

But I’ll make the most of what I’ve got, for as long as I have it.