The Writer's Block::Christian women, devotions, op-ed, commentary, Christian worldview

Screeeeeeech!

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 13:51:00 PDT

Do you hear that?

It's the sound of my blog coming to a screeching halt and making a turn for a new direction.

That's right. If you are still reading here, you may be wondering where I've been. I'm not sure how to answer that except to say that God has used (and continues to use) 2010 to refine me in ways I still don't understand.

Life has been just downright hard these last nine months or so.

Blogging has come in dribs and drabs, yet it has also continued to simmer just beneath the surface of my consciousness as an important aspect of who I am. What's funny to me is that this year, I have grown leaps and bounds as a blogger and social media professional. I've attended fabulous conferences, and I've even been paid to help other people create blogs, write blogs, and get their blogs out to the masses.

Yet here my poor, little The Writer's Block sits. Kind of like—what's the expression?—the shoemaker's child who has no shoes.

Sigh.

I keep coming back to the one thing I know for sure: One of the reasons God put me on the planet is to write.

I know it's a gift, and I know it's from him, and I know it makes me feel alive. Really, when I'm not blogging (writing), I feel like there's a little section of me that's sound asleep.

So, if you're still here and you're still reading and you still have a shred of interest in what I have to say, then I covet your prayers. I need some focused direction myself as to where to "take" my blog. (Again, I am so much better at helping others find this clarity than employing my strategies on my own problems. Is that totally cuckoo?)

I anticipate some changes here soon with regard to content, and I may start another blog (which seems counter-intuitive to my "problems," I know), too.

Stay tuned.

More to come.

~~~

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I Belong

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 07:43:00 PDT

God's been dealing with me lately about the idols of my heart—those things that I tend to value more than him. Those things that tend to thrill my soul when all is going "right." And those things that tend to send me to the pit of depression when all is going "wrong."

I suppose that this self-examination may not make sense to one who is not a Christian, since you probably assign "good" things the attribute of "good" (a new job is "good"; a new baby is "good") and "bad" things the attribute of "bad," right (losing one's job is "bad"; experiencing a miscarriage is "bad")? But in your heart of hearts can you admit that even the "good" things—even when they are cranked up to the highest level—don't ultimately satisfy?

That restless longing is because we were created for more than a superficial affection for "stuff." We were created for communion. And the only way to experience that true, eternal communion is by devotedly loving Jesus.

I belong to Christ. I am his. And since I am his, he doesn't tolerate being second or third on the list of my interests. No. He commands first place. When I deny him his rightful claims on my life and chase after empty idols, I'm left broken, confused, and exhausted.

What does this look like in my life?

I desire comfort and security more than trusting in Christ. I desire accolades and recognition more than glorifying God. I desire equity and self-preservation more than following God through a wilderness experience.

But the Bible tells me over and over that the Christian life is one of ownership, discipleship, sacrifice, and service. Because I belong, I am required to confront those things in my life that cause my heart to wander. Because I belong, I am required to love Christ more than any other earthly thing. Because I belong, I am required to deny my will and embrace God's will.

As my pursuit of Christ intensifies, my pursuit of idols will lessen in its attraction. As my hunger for God deepens, "empty calories" will make me sick to my stomach.

And that peace of God—the peace that passes all understanding—will guard, strengthen, and preserve me because

"I am not my own, but belong with body and soul,
both in life and in death to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ."

—from the Heidelberg Catechism, Answer #1

If you want to read more about this topic, I recommend Idols of the Heart by Elyse Fitzpatrick. It is an excellent study! (Disclosure: I am an Amazon affiliate and do receive a small commission from sales I recommend.)

~~~

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The First Day of School=Relief

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 07:00:00 PDT

One doesn't just wander into motherhood as one wanders into a Starbuck's.

No, becoming a mother is more like the space shuttle re-entering Earth's atmosphere after a voyage. It's bold and loud and fast. It's violent in many ways. It's a bumpy ride, for sure. It's a complete reorientation.

It's life-changing.

Today I took my five-year-old twins to their first day of kindergarten. I know. Moms in my shoes are sobbing, mourning the loss of their infants. Some are in deep reflection about the preschool years.

Me?

I'm just relieved.

Sitting here now in the quiet of the house, the adrenaline, anxiety, and blood pressure levels are down. My body is slowly relaxing from the ends of my hair to the tips of my big toes.

I made it. I made it through the first five years with twins.

I'm so relieved.

I'll confess to you that time and again, I've prayed and wondered silently, Really, God? Why did you give me twins? You know I can't do this job. You know me. You know them. What were you thinking putting the three of us together? Why would you challenge me in this way when I'm clearly not equipped to handle this?

Yet here as I approached this great milestone, God clearly spoke to me recently. As he ordained their teachers for this year, I thanked him. They received the exact teachers I would have picked. God sweetly used their class assignments to demonstrate his love and mercy to me!

God reminded me that, It's not about you. It's about them. I have plans for these two young men. You're just a means to an end. Sure, I'll grow you in the process, too. But you are way too focused on YOU.

I really needed that shift in perspective. My boys (and my girl) are God's.

And it's not about me.

Another reason to feel relieved.

~~~

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A Sure Sign We're Ready for Summer's End

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 07:55:00 PDT

Barbie is bald.

~~~

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Hot Garbage

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:00:00 PDT

It's one of the last days of summer vacation. I can think of few things that would so eloquently capture the fleeting nature of these lazy, crazy, sticky, and sweaty few months we've enjoyed at the Bernard home than this:

Hot Garbage

Allow me to elaborate.

We must contract for trash pick-up service, and guess who stuck the tiny postcard of a bill inside the back of the "to pay" folder? And guess who had no idea the bill had not been paid until it was two weeks past its deadline? And guess who realized this only after the garbage guys did not pick up her garbage on the curb, now two weeks ago?

Yep. That would be yours truly.

So, I called the company and they said all I need to do is send a check for the balance and the service will resume.

But I forgot. Until Monday. Trash pick-up is Wednesday.

Yea. They hadn't gotten the check yet.

Oh, and did I mention it's been 115 degrees every day for the last week?

When I heard the garbage truck outside on Wednesday morning, I pressed my nose against the glass, like a kid does waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve. I chanted and willed with everything in my being to the garbage collectors walking up and down the sidewalk in front of my house: "Pick up my garbage. Pick up my garbage!"

Rejection set in as I watched Garbage Guy glance to my two large, smelly, stuffed cans and yell to Garbage Truck Driver Dude: "This one? Do we get this one?" He gestured at my cans.

"Yes!" I screamed, my cries muffled against the glass.

Just then the engine revved and inched on down the street, Garbage Guy going on to dump my neighbors' cans.

Thus launched the 2010 Find an Alternative Garbage Disposal Solution because I knew we were now facing another week of piled-up garbage. I knew I was facing a little-more-than-upset husband: ("Didn't you pay them?" "Yes, but the check hasn't cleared yet, dear.")

I Googled the Davidson county dumpsites, only to discover the nearest one was a good twenty-minute drive from my house. I found a very close Williamson county one but couldn't figure out a way to get in since I have Davidson county plates. I quizzed my hair dresser—who generously offered her salon's dumpster for my use. I had one friend staking out her neighbor's can to see if we could squeeze a few bags in Thursday night. We couldn't. It was full.

And then, I had a brilliant idea. The apartment complex where our church rented office space is a veritable dumpster paradise. There's one—sometimes two—on every corner. Technically, we don't still rent there, but I'm believing there's a grace period for after-rental garbage dumping privileges or something like that.

Friday, as I had a sitter with the kids (yes, this was my fun "me" day outing), I carefully loaded Hot Garbage into the back of the van. I don't have to tell you how disgusting it was. Thankfully, I only had to drive less than five minutes down the street. I made two trips and unloaded about 10 bags of hot, stinky, grody, yucky garbage into that absolutely empty dumpster.

What a feeling of accomplishment! I had solved the problem. I had found a workable solution. I had faced the filth and the stench. I got it done.

Nothing like a little Hot Garbage on a sweltering August day to really motivate and energize a stay-at-home mom into action.

photo: ericortner at stock.xchng

~~~

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Political Pondering

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 08:36:00 PDT

Last week was Tennessee's primary election for Governor. We also voted on some other races and positions.

The political fervor and rhetoric reached a fever pitch last week with campaign commercials dominating television locally, California's Prop 8 being overturned, and Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan's being approved and sworn in.

Times like these always get me thinking. My most recent pondering:

Why is it that "Liberals" advocate the increased role and presence of the government in every area of people's lives except those having to do with personal (some may say, moral) matters?

and ...

"Conservatives" fight and reject the government's oversight, regulation, and legislation of anything pertaining to their lives except when it comes to highly personal (some may say, moral) matters?

Just wondering.

What do you think?

~~~

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Pat Robertson Explains the Ten Commandments

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:00:00 PDT

I must begin this post with a disclaimer.

I never watch Pat Robertson on The 700 Club. Never.

But yesterday, as I was unloading the dishwasher in the kitchen, I turned to Channel 4 for something to listen to.

You see, at that time of morning, I would have ordinarily tuned into The View. But in the kitchen, we don't have cable and only have the digital converter box—which, incidentally—doesn't work very well at all. So, the only local channel I get is 4.

Channel 4 is Nashville's NBC affiliate. I cannot for the life of me figure out how The 700 Club got the mid-morning weekday timeslot. But, anyhoo, someone somewhere is paying big bucks to have Pat Robertson relay his particular stripe of theology to middle Tennessee viewers every day.

I just happened to catch the last minute or so of the program. As I reflect upon those fading seconds of the show, I'm amazed at how few words it takes to butcher so completely a fundamental tenet of basic Christian belief.

But Pat Robertson did. Oh, yes, he did.

I tuned in just as he was answering viewer mail.

A viewer wrote to Pat with this question:
What is the point of the Ten Commandments? No one can keep them all, so I don't understand why God asked us to try. What do you think, Pat?

He answered:
That's nonsense. Of course we can keep them all. The Ten Commandments aren't all that hard.

Watch the clip below, beginning around the 53-second mark.

Here's what Robertson should have said (in some form or fashion):

No. We cannot keep The Ten Commandments. Ever.

Even if we don't murder, don't commit adultery, and don't lie—even if we "do" all things "right" and keep all the outward definitions of the Law, we still fail.

Why? Because God demands perfection and complete obedience. We are incapable of that.

Wasn't this topic primary to Jesus' ministry? As I recall, Jesus shot down the rich young man—pointing out the greed in his heart, despite his "keeping" the Law. He taught that hatred was the same as murder and lusting was the same as adultery. Jesus was quick to point out the necessity of the Law but he also told us that he was the fulfillment of it! He did it. He kept the Law and he expanded it.

Now, under the New Covenant instituted by Christ, while believers are still held to God's unchanging standard, that standard is expanded. It's not just an outward motion of "keeping" a ritual or "avoiding" something. No, Law-keeping has expanded to the condition of one's heart, one's motives, and one's thoughts.

Feel defeated yet? Sure, we could stay there in the knowledge of our inability. But, here's the good news that is the Gospel. Jesus kept the Law and possessed pure thoughts, motives, and attitudes. In Christ, we are seen as him: Law-abiders. We are saved from the Law by grace so that we may desire to keep the Law out of worship (we know it pleases God) and gratitude.

So what is the purpose of the Law today? Since Jesus kept it, can we just forget it about it since we believe in Christ?

No. The Law is an aspect of God's character. If we want to know how to live a life that pleases God, we are required to study his character. It reveals our sin so that we may confess and repent. The Law also foreshadows our Savior, giving us greater insight into him and his work on our behalf.

I'm really hoping that Pat Robertson wanted to respond with something like that. I single him out because he has singled himself out. He's put himself on a syndicated television show, calling himself an "authority."

The Bible says that teachers will be held to a higher accountability. His answer to a question so fundamental to the proper understanding of law and grace, Christ's purpose, and the sanctification of the believer is an impromptu misquote at best and a theologically bankrupt and ignorant proclamation at worst. Either way, Pat, you got it wrong.

I had hoped you'd know better.

~~~

If you want to read on this topic further, I beg you to check out the Larger Catechism of The Westminster Confession of Faith (Questions 98-150).

I think Question and Answer #149 sums up the point of this post precisely:

Q. 149. Is any man able perfectly to keep the commandments of God?
A. No man is able, either of himself, or by any grace received in this life, perfectly to keep the commandments of God; but doth daily break them in thought, word, and deed.

This historic document—upon which my denomination is based—is an exhaustive, yet easy-to-understand explanation. After reading through it, you'll be confronted with your sin, and you'll never read the Ten Commandments the same way again.

What do you think of Pat Robertson's explanation of the Ten Commandments?
How do you regard the Ten Commandments?

~~~

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Author Anne Rice Quits Christianity

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 07:38:00 PDT

Anne Rice, popular author of the Vampire Chronicles, says she has "quit Christianity."

Rice—for most of her adult life—was a proclaimed atheist. But about ten years ago, she returned to the faith of her childhood and professed her Christianity.

I have followed her story from atheist to vocal Christian with interest for a few reasons:

As a popular author, she's in the celebrity realm. I'm intrigued to see what pop and Church culture "do" with celebrities who profess their faith.
She's an author. In general, I'm intrigued by most of what successful authors do. I just like seeing how they navigate life and how they portray themselves.

A few years ago, Rice appeared on my favorite Christian "talk show," White Horse Inn. I regret that I can't find that interview online now, but the notes are still posted. I remember listening way back then and enjoying it so much.

When I first heard of Rice's ditching Christianity, I was heartbroken. But then I read further. A few sentences into this post, and I was nodding in agreement:

It's simply impossible for me to ‘belong’ to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group.

—Anne Rice

I was relieved to read that Rice still professes her belief in Christ. She claims that she is ditching the organized religion and all the trappings that go with it.

I get her. I really do.

Rice and I have a difference of opinion on the definition of the term, Christianity. She claims it involves following Christ's followers—not just Christ.

I disagree. The definition of Christianity is still "those who follow Christ"—however broad and sullied those in the group make it. And, I'll take the label because I do follow Christ. I think Brian McLaren sums it up well, as he supports Rice but maintains his affiliation with Christianity and all that term entails:

If I were to leave to join some new religion that claims to have – at last! – perfected the way of being pristine and genuine through and through, we all know where that’s going to lead. There’s one thing worse than a failed old religion: a naïve and arrogant new one. In that light, maybe only religions that have acknowledged and learned from their failures have much to offer.

—Brian McLaren

On some level, I wish Rice had chosen a different way to announce her decision, without saying she's quitting Christianity.

But really? I'm sorta glad Rice made her announcement in the manner she did. You know why? Because she is still proclaiming her faith but she's also exposing the legalistic and detrimental trappings of "organized religion." Everyone's talking about this! Isn't that what we "Christians" want? Christ to be discussed in the public square?

What do you think of Rice's announcement?

~~~

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I Am Laundress: Hear Me Roar

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 12:00:00 PDT

As you know, my laundry is my nemesis.

But—not anymore.

That's right. For risk of having to eat my words, I proudly proclaim here and now:

I have conquered my laundry!

I know. I know. It's exciting, isn't it?

Here's my secret: I do one load of laundry every day. Every day. No matter how small.

(I realize that for some of you, this may be intuitive. Not me, though. So, I'm really excited by this epiphany.)

A few weeks ago, we got a new washing machine when our old one stopped draining. Our new machine has an automatic water level sensor and an awesome spin cycle. So, here's the thing: I don't feel guilty about washing a small load because I'm not wasting water.

The smaller load is then spun so well (and it's smaller), the drying time is lessened. The fewer pieces, then, take less time to fold and put away.

I am thrilled I'm finally getting on top of my laundry.

I was thinking about this: a simple method of eating one's elephant a bite at a time, consistently. But, it's not a method set in stone. I think that must be key for me. Schedules become counter-productive for me because I feel suffocated by them. I must have flexibility. So, a routine is important: I may do my laundry in the morning or in the evening, watching HGTV or talking on the phone. I need that tiny shred of control.

I have tried schedules and systems and philosophies, ad nauseum, when it comes to housekeeping tasks. None of them seems to stick.

I have decided that in order to see growth and productivity, I must never feel coerced by my schedule or system. I must have flexibility within parameters.

And I must embrace the "baby step" mentality.

Oh, I'm learning a lot about myself as I wander through adulthood. Who would have thought laundry could teach me so much?

What about you? How do you feel about schedules vs. routines? What works for you in your home?

~~~

Thanks for your response to my survey! PLEASE if you've not yet completed it, will you? It only takes a few minutes. So far, the responses have been insightful for me as I plan the next steps to take with my blog and other online writing endeavors.

Click here to take the survey.

Thank you!

~~~

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Please Take The Writer's Block Survey

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 11:19:00 PDT

I'm doing a little planning for the editorial direction of my blog. Would you please take my survey? Pretty please?

(Aren't the flowers pretty?)

Please tell me what you think. Please take my survey. You can find it here.

Thank you!

~~~

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I Want to Be Famous?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 00:00:00 PDT

I'm mad at Nickelodeon right now.

As if The Fresh Beat Band, Dora's whiney-tail screaming, and the disrespectful dialogue from The Fairly OddParents weren't enough, now I have new reasons to despise the Nickelodeon Marketing Department.

I'm convinced those marketers are simultaneously brilliant and evil, as they plot their next big marketing campaigns:

"Should we play the promo 15 times during each commercial break?"

"No. Let's go for 25. That will really drive the parents bonkers and securely cement the product into the minds of the toddler-something crowd."

Sadly, I don't think I'm terribly off the mark.

The latest to fall under the gaze of my scrutiny? Big Time Rush and their song, "Famous." If you've watched Nick for 30 seconds within the last month or so, you've seen the song. 185 times. Or more.

But in case it has escaped you, I offer it here for you now.

Now, my husband would say the musical quality (or lack thereof) alone disqualifies the band (if you can call it that) from recording songs. He chalks them up to wanna-bes who are programmed and manufactured.

I don't know. I'm sure they are. My ears are not quite that discerning. I just cringe that the bankrupt-of-values song lyrics are set to such a catchy tune that one must hear 185 times a day—which makes mimicking a snap for my five-year-olds.

As I try to teach my kids other-centeredness, humility, and the benefits and blessing of servanthood, these guys are singing about how the object of life is to "see your name in lights." They say a perk of being famous is "cut[ting] to the front of the line" and "tak[ing] a free ride." Being famous is the "American dream" and it means "that you're the best."

I really don't expect Nickelodeon (or any media or culture outlet) to instill in my kids Christian values and ideals. I shouldn't think they'd exercise restraint during a promotional campaign.

But I would hope (stupid of me, I know) that Nick would take its responsibility a bit more seriously. Especially when I don't see much (if any) value in "being famous."

Let's review the price of fame during the last year, shall we? Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Lindsey Lohan, the Gosselins. And those are just the ones off the top of my head.

Nick, you have a greater responsibility than just selling programming or records. Could you find something else to sing about? Something other than one of the main contributors (in my opinion) to celebrities' broken relationships, addictions, and self-destruction?

No thanks, Big Time Rush. I don't think I want to be famous.

~~~

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One Day Sale on Savvy Blogging Summit Sessions

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 19:07:00 PDT

The Savvy Blogging team has announced the location for its next Summit in 2011: the Cheyenne Mountain Resort in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

To celebrate, the ladies are offering a 50% discount on the audio sessions of the 2010 Summit. All of the sessions were terrific, but I highly recommend the ones on SEO, monetization, media kits, and the law. These were areas where I learned the most because I had a knowledge deficit in these areas.

If you want to order the recordings, I'd love for you to use my affiliate link below (and yes, I do receive 50% of the purchase price from sales I refer).

But hurry! This discount only runs through Friday, July 31, noon EST.

Click here to visit Savvy Blogging.

~~~

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5 Steps To Starting a Money-Making Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:26:00 PDT

I've been blogging for about 2.5 years and have learned a lot about the craft. I have people ask me all the time how to begin blogging and about the prospect of making money doing so. I'll share with you my 5 steps to starting a money-making blog.

1. Create.

Find a topic about which you are passionate. I believe that niche blogging can be the most lucrative. Since the web is world-wide, your audience literally spans the globe. Find your passion, focus your mission (why will you write this blog?), then go find your audience. Approach it as a "they need what I'm offering, I just have to find them" problem.

2. Establish.

Technically, the best course for setting up your blog is to buy a domain from a manager such as GoDaddy.com and self-host your site, using WordPress.org and hosts such as MomWebs or DreamHost. From there, you can find templates for design or hire a designer. This will cost you a little bit of money, but it shouldn't be much. I've enjoyed my time on here on free Blogger, but were I beginning a brand-new blog, I'd probably go the self-hosted route.

3. Post.

Write posts that convey your passion. Write often—at least three times a week. Write from the heart.

4. Monetize.

Place ads on your blog using Google Adsense and Lijit (I have these). Sell your own ads. Become an affiliate for other products and companies, such as Amazon. The goal here is to diversify. You must also be prepared to make little to no money in the beginning. The title says, "money-making" not "lotsa money-making"!

5. Promote.

Remember: you are trying to find your audience. Go where they are and draw them in. Use Facebook (my second biggest source for referrals) to create a "Like" page. Use the Twitter search function to find like-minded persons to follow. Be active on communities such as BlogFrog. Send an email to your family, your Sunday school class, your co-workers asking them to check out your blog. Have business cards printed with your blog address. Creatively seek out your audience within all the circles of your life.

The magic formula for a money-making blog is this:

CONTENT --------> TRAFFIC --------> PAGE VIEWS --------> AD $$$ --------> MONEY for you

Keep unique and high quality content first and the rest will follow.

Do you have a money-making blog? If so, would you tell us how much you make—roughly—each month? What other tips would you offer bloggers?

~~~

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photo: blary54 at stock.xchng

When We Compare Ourselves to Other Mothers

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 09:00:00 PDT

Not long ago, I was in a small group of women, three of whom were pregnant. Inevitably, the discussion turned to childbirth stories. I remember when I was just out of college and in a small group when a woman told her childbirth story and how she had broken her tail bone during delivery. It's a wonder I ever got pregnant after hearing her tale of excruciating misery.

Anyway, we all started swapping stories of how we delivered and the nuances of childbirth rose to the surface of the conversation. In one moment, we were all MOTHERS. In the next, we began discussing the ins and outs of our choices—some made with education, some in haste, some because of tradition or emergency, and so on—but our choices nonetheless.

And so, the conversation soon began to turn to OB's or midwives, natural or medicated labor, C-section, vaginal, or VBAC deliveries. As the conversation progressed, I could feel that ever-so-slight "rift" dividing us. You know the one. My choice versus your choice. My choice is better than yours or I wish I could have/should have/would have chosen as you did, then I'd be right/better and you'd think better of me.

What is it about our mothering choices that drive wedges between us otherwise harmonious women? Why do we love to compare?

Why do we elevate some aspects of motherhood to places of idolatry and "rightness" and either feel shame or disappointment if we somehow "don't measure up"? Why do we look down our noses at others who may have chosen differently, thus perpetuating this vicious cycle?

I couldn't help my stomach doing a little flip-flop when I heard two of the pregnant moms (who have already delivered children vaginally) voice their disappointment that they may be facing C-sections with these babies. They had been advised by their midwives—for various reasons—that a smooth vaginal delivery may not be possible, so they should prepare for possible C-sections.

"I've already delivered naturally. Why can't I do it again?" one of the women said. "I don't want to have a C-section."

And then my guns came out swinging (in my head). Why don't you want a C-section?, I thought. What's wrong with a C-section?

You know what? Had it not been for a C-section, I would most likely not be here today. My mother could have died in childbirth and/or lost me in childbirth. If I weren't here, then my kids wouldn't be here (and incidentally, all of my kids were born by C-section, too!). In my world, C-sections are good things!

I'm not coming down hard on my friends. I know their hearts and believe they don't really "look down" on C-sections or people who have them.

But that conversation served as a reminder to me that I'm still not quite beyond comparing myself to other women, especially in the mothering area. I'm not quite past the feelings of inferiority as I measure myself against other women because I just care too dang much what others think of me. And yes, I'm reminded that my heart still houses thoughts of judgment and condemnation towards others when I think I've got a "better" something—whatever the case may be.

Friends, could we mothers just let go putting others in our preconceived parameters of what's "right"? Can we give each other a little grace to breathe, to occasionally mess up, and to also taste success? Are you with me?

~~~

Motherhood Monday

I'm trying something new. Each Monday, I'll post about one aspect of motherhood. I want you to participate! I'll give a writing prompt then ask you to link up your Motherhood Monday post the following week.

Writing prompt for July 26, 2010: Talk about the role of comparison to others as you mother. What has been the most challenging? How do you overcome it? What advice regarding comparison to others would you give a new or expectant mother?

Come back here next week to link up your post!

~~~

For further reading, check out "The Snare of Compare," a blog post series at girl talk.
I found it really helpful with this issue.

~~~

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photo: bjearwicke at stock.xchng

Around the Block: Saturday Stumbles

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 09:49:00 PDT

I'm still giddy with excitement and my brain is buzzing after last weekend's Savvy Blogging Summit. One of the things I've decided to do more consistently with my blog is to participate in Saturday Stumbles at It's Come 2 This. Visit her site to find some other great bloggers and their recommendations.

What I've been reading this week:

Laundry Schmaundry!

If you're like me, you, too, wrestle with your laundry: finding/making the time to do it, doing it properly, or creating a new routine.

Guess what? One of my new friends, Lauren, has a blog about LAUNDRY! I met Lauren last weekend at the Summit and was really blown away to meet someone who:

loved laundry and
decided to devote an entire blog to the chore!

In Lauren, I had met my match-made-in-homekeeping-heaven!

Mama's Laundry Talk is a super-helpful and practical blog, plus Lauren is a real delight! Go visit Mama's Laundry Talk for tips, insights, and help on all-things laundry.

A Greasy Way to Save?

Who doesn't want to save an extra penny or two? How much you spend on hair products? Well, why don't you consider going shampoo-free? That's right. Just. stop. shampooing. your. hair.

You're crazy, you say? Well, check out this essay on the "no-poo 'do". The post tells you exactly how to care for your "no-poo 'do" and cites the myriad benefits of getting the gunk out of your hair. It appeals to me as a busy mom because that's one less thing I'd have to do in the 10 5 minutes I actually get in the bathroom during the grooming routine.

Let me know what you think and if you'd try it. (If you DO try it, come back here and let us know how it worked.)

Shameless plugs (I am compensated to work on the publicity teams for the following authors and their books. I am also a paid affiliate for Amazon and do receive a small commission on sales based upon my recommendations)

This summer, I'm helping four authors with their social media and blogging efforts. Please check out their blogs, Facebook, and Twitter pages.

Frank Santora has written a book called Turn It Around, which is chock full of encouragement for persons going through tough times (who's not going through tough times?). I know you'll find perseverance in the pages of this book as Frank points you to the hope in Christ.

My Grandmother is ... praying for me is an awesome new daily devotional written by three grandmothers—Kathy March, Pam Ferriss, and Susan Kelton—for grandmothers. It takes the reader through the book of Proverbs with Scripture, prayers, and activities.

Go check out their blogs, leave a comment, and tell a friend!

What have you read this week that's insightful, interesting, or surprising?

~~~

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The Savvy Blogging Summit 2010 Saved My Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 18:30:00 PDT

I went to the Savvy Blogging Summit this past weekend, prepared to come home and shut down my blog.

Yep. You read that right.

I was half-way expecting to leave the Summit, feeling soberly deflated from my crazy notions that this blogging thing could ever be a business for me.

But that didn't happen.

In fact, just the opposite is true.

Let me back up a minute, though, and tell you how I approached this trip.

For the first half of 2010, I've felt my life has been topsy-turvy: the unprecedented Nashville flood, losing a friend in the Haiti earthquake, watching my church shut its doors, leaving Blissdom with little more than a handful of business cards and some groovy swag as my "take-away." Because I've always been a "big vision," idealistic person, these losses have chipped away at my grandiose ideas.

When loved ones die, when cherished items are destroyed, when the unthinkable happens, when expectations are never realized, dreams are obliterated.

Such disappointments cause me to reconsider everything in life and become a bit stingier with my dreaming.

Sure, I had always salivated at the thoughts of my blog making money. But I had also ballooned those thoughts to the point of worship, blurring the lines between authentic calling and my own assertions in the pursuit of success.

Going to this conference, I did my best to dismiss me and my ideas, opening myself to God's ideas instead.

I had all but decided that—although I would continue to write—I would most likely abandon the idea of trying to make money with my blog.

Nevertheless, I went into it prayerfully that God would use it to show me "yea" or "nay." Keep it or close it? Pursue it or leave it? I wanted to know. I wanted God to show me. I was so tired of striving for my own idols in my own strength. I just prayed God would show me how to do well that which he had created me to do.

The fact that I even got to go was a wonderful sign to me of God's validation (thanks to the three women behind My Grandmother is ... Praying for Me). The fact I found three other Christian bloggers for roommates was another. The fact that there was no traffic to the airport on Thursday morning? Well, what better sign could I ask for?

Seriously, God gave his favor on every aspect of this trip. I am reminded that God says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. I think of so many of my previous pursuits and how HARD they've been. Obstacle after obstacle. Dead end after dead end.

But God confirmed that this blogging/writing endeavor is an "easy" and "light" place for me to be. What freedom to simply walk the path God has laid!

My "Take-Away"

I came home with a notebook full of scribbles of nuggets of wisdom. I made lots of new friends and have a small stack of business cards to file away. I have a to-do list and a to-read list that spans a couple of pages.

I "took-away" much in terms of practical, legitimate, immediately usable information to make my blog more readable, more easily discovered, and—ultimately—more profitable.

But, by far, for me, the biggest take-away from this conference was that I am meant to do this for God's glory. He will equip me to do that which he calls me to do. Will it all come overnight? No. Will I become an instant millionaire? Probably not.

I am simply called to follow step-by-step in faith and watch God's plan unfold.

And I have a bunch of like-minded Savvy Blogger friends watching with me, cheering me on every step of the way.

~~~

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon affiliate and make a small commission based on purchases that I recommend. I am also working on the publicity team for My Grandmother Is ... Praying for Me.

Finding God in the Routine

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 10:14:00 PDT

I've always had a problem with the monotony of motherhood: the I-do-this-everyday sameness of meals and laundry; the watch-setting consistency of household tasks. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, so will my laundry basket full.

But in the last couple of years, I've tried to embrace the rituals of motherhood and home managing. I want to see God's hand in all of it. I know God's ways are to use the ordinary means to offer his grace. He's a God of bread, water, and fire, after all. He has taught us much and shown us much through these basics of human existence.

He probably has something to tell me through filing coupons, scraping dinner plates, and navigating the school car line, huh?

Well, friend and author Jen Seger is a few steps ahead of me in the sanctification process. Her new book, Routine Revelations, is a touching collection of these types of moments all mothers experience. Jen humorously takes us through the ups and downs of motherhood as she reflects on the ways God teaches her his truths during the routines of everyday life.

Routine Revelations is not only about errands, school projects, and church; but it is also about God's love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. How many of us mothers have said that parenting shows us more vividly our sin and God's mercy? How many of us know that—having been a parent—we have a new dimension of understanding for the ways our heavenly Father loves us? Jen beautifully weaves all of these themes throughout the forty-six short devotions in Routine Revelations.

I found myself chuckling, nodding my head, and whispering, "Amen, sister!" throughout this delightful book. I'm certain her insightful writing will resonate with you, too. It's an easy "pick-up/put-down" kind of read (perfect for busy moms!) but leaves you with something to "chew on."

Need a book for the beach or a long flight? Need a hostess gift or Christmas (it's never too early!) gift? Want to brighten your best friend's day?

Get Routine Revelations by Jen Seger.

~~~

WIN! WIN! WIN!

Jen has graciously offered an autographed copy of Routine Revelations to a reader of The Writer's Block!

The contest runs from Monday, July 5 through Monday, July 12, midnight (central time). One winner will be chosen using Random.org from all eligible entries. The winner will be notified no later than Wednesday, July 14.

To enter: You must complete #1. You have the opportunity to earn SIX additional entries, but you must leave a separate comment for each one completed.

Leave a comment here telling me about your most challenging aspect of motherhood.
Subscribe to The Writer's Block.
"Like" The Writer's Block on Facebook.
Follow me on Twitter.
Leave a comment on Jen Seger's blog (any post).
"Like" Routine Revelations on Facebook.
Follow Jen Seger and Routine Revelations on Twitter.

~~~

Disclosure: I received no monetary compensation for this review. The author donated one copy of the book, Routine Revelations, to me for review and then to offer as a giveaway for a reader chosen at random.

~~~

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Seasons

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:00:00 PDT

"This is a season, honey."

I've always had a negative reaction to that sentiment (usually offered as a well-meaning response to one of my whiny-tale complaints that I can't do such-and-so).

A bristling. A knee-jerk. A restrain-myself-from-slapping-you moment.

Why? I've often wondered.

Oh, sure. It must be that control issue I have. I don't want there to be a season. I want to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it.

If anything, though, lately, God's been teaching me the value of fluidity. The benefit of ebb and flow. The recovery that comes with restful barrenness. The truth of Ecclesiastes.

The season for watermelon, flip-flops, and lemonade is summer. The season for mittens, hot cocoa, and fleece is winter.

The other day, one of the kids said, "I want some hot cocoa!" I said, "No! You don't drink hot cocoa in the summer. Here, have an ice pop instead."

It's plain to me that seasons in the other areas of my life are sensible—even beneficial. It's only fitting, then, to embrace the seasons of my life when it comes to home, family, work, hobbies, church life, and so on.

The season of having young children is not the season to pursue a leadership position for a Fortune 500 company (at least not for me; some women do it with ease, but alas—that's another post: embracing who God made me and not comparing myself to others). The season of caring for aging parents is not the season for world travel. The season for establishing a career is (perhaps) not the season for marriage and family.

It is different for all. But wouldn't it be a great tragedy to stuff myself into some mold of self-created "expectations" of what I should or shouldn't be doing right now?

I see now that so much freedom exists in begging for God's guidance—rather than fighting the inevitable—in the various seasons of life.

So, I may now be entering the "summer" of my life, as I turn 40 and have all my kids in school this fall.

I'm anticipating many "summer" days sipping that lemonade in prayer and reflection.

~~~

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photo: ilco at stock.xchng

Greetings From the Middle of Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:47:00 PDT

This summer is proving to be one of shattered expectations. Now that I think about it, though, when does my life ever turn out as I had planned?

I can't believe how busy I am. I am shuttling children hither and yon—and we really aren't even THAT busy! Still, I'm in the van quite a bit: loading, unloading, packing, unpacking, and so on.

And that makes me tired.

I have created a master work of art in Susanna's room, which I will show you as soon as I get about $100 to buy a new digital camera (our really nice one got rained on in the flood and now won't work). Our washer of 12 (or so) years finally konked last week. The in-laws graciously offered to buy a new one. We accepted.

I continue with my study of the Enneagram. I'm pretty sure I'm a Type 3, which is the type that has the need to succeed. I'm learning quite a bit but have yet to be able to distill it all into words.

I find that: I think I have some things to say but don't have the time or presence of mind to put it down intelligibly and sincerely (thus, this rambling post).

And who knew? I have planter pots on my porch. They've been planted now for one week, and they aren't languishing! I'm kind of surprised since I fully embrace the fact that I'm not a gardener, yet I rejoice that I have 7 days of keeping these plants alive behind me. (And I'll post some pictures when I get that camera.)

I'm headed to a social media/blogging conference in about two weeks. I'm so excited, but it's kind of sneaking up on me. I guess that's better than pining for it, huh? And I'm so thrilled to report that the authors behind the fabulous devotional book, My Grandmother Is ... Praying for Me, are sponsoring my trip. In return, I'll be doing some social media work for their book and their brand.

That's a little bit of a catch-up for now.

~~~

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I Will Not Break in the Wilderness

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 19:41:00 PDT

I love Charles Spurgeon.

And when I get to heaven, I'm going to hang out with him. I am going to love talking to him about writing. He's one of my favorite writers. (And, yes, I know I'll be worshiping Jesus, but I'm hoping part of eternal bliss is allowing us to have relationships with other saints. So, permit me this idea that Charles [can I call him, Charlie?] and I will be BFFs for eternity, mkay? ;) )

Anyhoo ... as I've been thinking more along the lines of the wilderness experience, I remembered a devotion by Spurgeon in his Morning and Evening. I hung it on my bathroom mirror when I was struggling with infant twins, post-partum depression, and sleep deprivation. ~~Some~~ Most days—truly—these few words from Spurgeon's pen were my only connection to the Gospel.

From Spurgeon's Evening devotion for July 19 (public domain, bold emphasis mine):

Evening, July 19

“A bruised reed shall he not break, and smoking flax shall he not quench.”

Matthew 12:20

What is weaker than the bruised reed or the smoking flax?

A reed that groweth in the fen or marsh, let but the wild duck light upon it, and it snaps; let but the foot of man brush against it, and it is bruised and broken; every wind that flits across the river moves it to and fro. You can conceive of nothing more frail or brittle, or whose existence is more in jeopardy, than a bruised reed.

Then look at the smoking flax—what is it? It has a spark within it, it is true, but it is almost smothered; an infant’s breath might blow it out; nothing has a more precarious existence than its flame. Weak things are here described, yet Jesus says of them, “The smoking flax I will not quench; the bruised reed I will not break.”

Some of God’s children are made strong to do mighty works for him; God has his Samsons here and there who can pull up Gaza’s gates, and carry them to the top of the hill; he has a few mighties who are lion-like men, but the majority of his people are a timid, trembling race. They are like starlings, frightened at every passer by; a little fearful flock. If temptation comes, they are taken like birds in a snare; if trial threatens, they are ready to faint; their frail skiff is tossed up and down by every wave, they are drifted along like a sea bird on the crest of the billows—weak things, without strength, without wisdom, without foresight.

Yet, weak as they are, and because they are so weak, they have this promise made specially to them. Herein is grace and graciousness! Herein is love and lovingkindness! How it opens to us the compassion of Jesus—so gentle, tender, considerate! We need never shrink back from his touch. We need never fear a harsh word from him; though he might well chide us for our weakness, he rebuketh not.

Bruised reeds shall have no blows from him, and the smoking flax no damping frowns.

When have you felt like a bruised reed or a smoking flax?
How do these words encourage you?

~~~

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Adorable Card Holders

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 21:08:00 PDT

You need one or two or ... ten of these adorable business card holders from Megan Dunham at Half-Pint House.

One of the first times I read Megan's work was over at the World magazine site. I then found her blog and started following her on Twitter.

I'm excited that I'll get to meet Megan in a few short weeks at the Savvy Blogging Summit.

BUT.

She needs your help in raising money to pay for her trip. So go buy some of these adorable, handmade card holders from Megan.

And if you're feeling extra-generous and want to throw some money my way, I still need some additional funds for my trip. I can't sew. But I'd love to barter writing or blogging services in exchange for travel money. If you'd like to sponsor me for part of the trip, we can talk about publicity I can bring you (or your company) through this blog and through other online outlets. Let's talk.

The Savvy Blogging Summit is a small gathering of social media professionals. We are going to learn in an intimate setting from the best in the areas of technology, media, law, photography, design, and more.

I absolutely. can't. wait.

~~~

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~~~

In The Wilderness

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 20:30:00 PDT

I grew up on a farm. My parents still live there today, and my dad is still farming: mainly beef cattle and crops.

I am not afraid of spiders or ticks or worms. I credit my country upbringing with this strong constitution. I find it incredulous that my husband screams at chirping crickets and is quick to deliver the death blow, while I carefully shoo them out the back door. (It's just a cricket. Why should he die? He didn't do anything wrong.)

A creek runs behind my parents' house. As kids, we'd play in the water. Most of the time, we'd remember our old shoes for wading; but sometimes we didn't, and I can't recall our ever stepping on broken glass or nails or anything. Occasionally, we'd go camping out on our farm. We'd fish in the creek and cook our catch. We'd sleep in a camper in the middle of nowhere. Dark and chilly. Without boundaries of time or space or safety or predictability.

And we loved it.

Sure it was just little more than a "backyard camp-out." I mean, we weren't being all Bear Grylls or Survivor Man or The Blair Witch Project or anything.

But it was just enough outdoorsy-ness that now, as an adult, I look at that and think, Um, yea. That doesn't sound like so much fun.

Ewwww... wading in a creek where hundreds of cows have pooped? Catching and eating fish from that same creek? No electricity? No bathroom?

No Internet?

I got to thinking about this because I've been mulling over "wilderness experiences" lately. Think of the Israelites and their wilderness wanderings. So much can be gleaned from their years in the wilderness. In upcoming posts, I want to explore some of those ideas: their grumbling, God's provision, and others.

Chris and I believe we are being led through a "wilderness experience" of sorts right now. I find it terribly difficult some days to take the next step through the density of the brush and the tangle of thorns that characterize my heart. Still, I know it's necessary and important and good and will ultimately bring me through to the other side.

When have you experienced a time of wilderness wandering in your life?
How did it affect you?

~~~

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~~~

photo: xandert on morguefile.com

And This Day Is Done

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 19:32:00 PDT

Now?

Now: I decided I didn't like this day very much. Dinner was a Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade and a slice of birthday cake.

And that's about all I have to say about that.

Around the Block: Favorite Blog Posts This Week

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 19:07:00 PDT

As I continue with the NaBloPoMo theme of "Now" for the month of June, I thought I'd really get with the ballgame and participate in Saturday Stumbles with Mandi at It's Come 2 This.

I actually sat beside Mandi on a shuttle bus for a Savvy Blogging Dinner excursion at this year's Blissdom. She may not remember (it was oh, so brief and in the dark), but I enjoyed our little conversation.

Anyhoo ...

For Saturday Stumbles, I'll be highlighting for you some of my favorite blog posts that I read this week. I'd encourage you to:

Check them out and leave them a comment.
Go to the Saturday Stumbles list and read some other good posts recommended by those bloggers.
Leave me a comment telling me what you think and/or what you found interesting this week on the web.

It's always fun to find new friends and new blogs!

Around the Block This Week

My sweet friend and fellow blogger, Rebecca at Toothwhale, wrote this great post about preventing dirt in your home. I find it so simply profound; I just love it! Maybe it's because I'm such a ~~mediocre~~ rotten housekeeper? Anyway, I love Rebecca's simple tips for keeping the house tidy when dirty kids are roaming throughout.

I love. love. love. this beautiful post from Jennifer at Surprising Joy. A transparent and honest seeker of God, she lays it all out. It inspires me and convicts me at the same time.

What a great post about blog content from Social Media Examiner! This is a hugely practical and helpful article, full of great tips for creating GOOD blog posts consistently. I printed this one and stuck it in my "blogging" reference folder.

Rena from AllPersonality.com is a new The Writer's Block reader. She left a comment on one of my posts and asked me to visit her site. It's all about the Enneagram. I've just begun studying it, so of course, my interest is piqued! Her site is full of interesting insights about the Enneagram and the personality types. I could get lost reading there for hours. ;)

What were your favorite posts this week?

~~~

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~~~

My Greatest Fear

noreply@blogger.com (Mary @ The Writer's Block) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 06:59:00 PDT

Fear is a great motivator, eh?

I figure that fear, for me, drives the majority of my behavior. My greatest fear must, then, also determine my sin.

I'm not afraid of being alone, of being unloved, or of being exposed.

No. I'm afraid of not being in control.

I crave control. Control of my stuff, my possessions, my home. My life, my schedule, my bank account. My hair, my dinner menu, my laundry.

My day can be chaotic. My weight can climb higher and higher. But if the outcome (any outcome) is part of my doing—even if it's ultimately sabotaging—it's OK with me. I was DELIBERATE when I ate that Big Mac. I'll eat it if I want and I'll put on 5 pounds if I want, by golly.

Being in control trumps the dysfunction of the bad decision/bad result cycle for me.

Why in the world is this so important for me? Why would I settle for control and dysfunction rather than freedom and health?

I don't know. But I'm hoping to find out this summer. I'm studying the Enneagram with a group of Christian friends. We're going through the book, The Enneagram: A Christian Perspective. (Disclosure: I am an Amazon affiliate and receive a small commission based on sales I refer.) I want to confront my sin head-on (I think! That's scary!), and I'm hoping this study will bring me to that point.

Ultimately, I want to repent of it. Providentially, my friend Jennifer has posted about the role of repentance in her life. Her post—plus the inner work and reflection of the Enneagram exercises—brought me to ask the question today, "What is my greatest fear?"

Repentance and seeking God—not control—are my my heart's cries right now.

What is your greatest fear? How do you cope with it?

~~~

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~~~

photo: orchid at morguefile.com