This program promises a zen writing experience. With pretty backgrounds and cool fonts (all of which I can get from Pages which I use for word processing on my Mac). They say: “Ommwriter is a humble attempt to recapture what technology has snatched away from us today: our capacity to concentrate.”

Interesting. Does this site miraculously turn off my email, Twitter, Facebook, phone, family and clients? ‘Cause if it doesn’t, then I don’t get it.

Many of you know that I’m in love with Wordpress. After years of searching through typewriters, journals, Word docs and more, it was the day that I logged into this blog that my writing finally happened the way I’d always dreamed it would.

BUT and this is a HUGE but - none of this, and I mean none of this, means a thing if my mind and heart and creative juices are not aligned. All the fancy tools and tricks in the world can only take you so far. There is something indescribable (we – writers – have been trying to define it for years) that has to be turned on in order for the writing to work.

And there’s something that has to be turned OFF – the mind chatter, the self-doubt, the shoulds, coulds and woulds, the what ifs, the desire to eat or clean the toilet or make a phone call – or however you’re choosing to self-sabotage or procrastinate.

Once upon 10 years ago, I thought that if I got a laptop, I would be Carrie Bradshaw. Cut to today. I’m still not her – and know that I’m better off being myself. And it was the getting to know myself and practicing writing and making mistakes and getting things right and trying and failing and continuing to sit down here at my computer – that’s what gets my writing done everyday.

Can OmmWriter turn off the switches I need turned off and turn on the ones I need turned on? Nope. No software or equipment can do that. We’re the only ones that can do that.

I’m not trying to take OmmWriter down (apparently some people just love it), but I can’t just sit quietly while I watch writers get excited about finding the magic bullet. A bullet’s a bullet – they explode and destroy (good things and bad things, granted) – but they’re made to kill. Call me a cynic, but I think I’m being a realist.

Just don’t say anything bad about Wordpress – it’s my unwashed uniform, my lucky bat, the 5 bowls of Wheaties I always eat on game day…and I’m keen not to break this writing streak.

Image credit: RazZziel

But seriously, you know I’m not a big product pusher on this site – but this one, I couldn’t resist because:

1. It’s a NOOK, for Pete’s sake, and therefore, worthy of a giveaway.
2. I get one too.
3. I love you people and I’m happy to get you free stuff.
4. It’s a great opportunity for me to make you do what I say (via my giveaway/contest rules)…and I simply love bossing people around.

If you don’t know, the nook is Barnes & Noble’s eBook reader. It’s pretty awesome:

• It’s not backlit, so it’s easy on the eyes
• Obviously, you can download books instantly (and I’ve been known not to order a book online purely because it was going to take 3 days to get to me – and for some reason I’d rather not have it at all than wait 3 days, I know, I know)
• It’s wifi-connected so you have access to newspapers and magazines (which could give me a reason to read them again!)
• You can share books with friends (and I love sharing books – and clothes)
• And, the coolest part, I think, is that you can make notes for yourself on whatever you’re reading (I’m guessing that I like this function so much because I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut, and the nook isn’t asking me to) right on the digital page…
• More coolness, features and functionality can be found here (including a comparison to the Kindle)

So here’s the deal:

I recently found my very favorite English teacher, Dr. Puhr, on Facebook. I’d been looking for awhile. She’s absolutely one of the reasons I’m here. She taught A.P. American Lit my junior year in high school…and we read the best books ever: The Color Purple, Their Eyes Were Watching God, Catch 22, Catcher in the Rye, Song of Solomon, Emerson & Thoreau…. And she did cool things, like having us listen to Billy Joel’s haunting Goodnigh Saigon when we were talking about Vietnam and the 60’s and reading Waiting for Godot.

I was already hooked on reading (via my grandparents huge library of fat books like The Thornbirds that I started reading when I was 9ish), analyzing the hell out of it…and, of course, writing. But Dr. Puhr came right at the moment that I started to really think about things – about life and how expansive it really was. It was during those prime teenager angst years, you know? And she fed my hunger for knowing. She encouraged my thinking, my learning, my writing. She opened my eyes.

She encouraged me to be me. And that has had an invaluable impact on my writing and my life.

So, do you want this NOOK or what? Tell me your story in the comments below: who influenced your writing, your obsession with words and/or your love of reading?

I’ve chosen three judges to pick the best story…which was hard, because everyone wants a Nook – but I did it anyway. So there. Because picking my favorite story would be like picking my favorite kid and you just aren’t supposed to do that – I love you all equally. (These judges aren’t even web savvy, so it’s not worth me telling you who they are or giving you their urls because they don’t have any…also, I promised to protect them from the masses). I’ll announce the winner on Friday (March 19th – the same day The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo opens. Go. See. It.)

And I’m so curious to know why. Why do some of you ooh and ahh and hyperventilate with joy while reading and send me emails professing your love, while some of you just shrug your shoulders and move on? Why do I wait anxiously for some feeds to appear in my email and hit delete when I get others?

You all know that I have very serious thoughts and feelings and opinions about smell. The power of the nose? It’s astounding, not least because of its use of pheromones.

pheromone |?fer??m?n|
noun Zoology
A chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, esp. a mammal or an insect, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species.

There are some people in this world that smell so good to us that we can’t keep our hands off them – literally. It’s carnal and biological. Their very scent lights something up inside of us. It makes us do crazy things – more hypnotic and tantalizing than a full moon. Much, I’d say.

And there are some people in this world that smell so bad to us that we can’t get far enough away from them. It’s also carnal and biological. Their very scent brings something up inside of us. And it’s usually revulsion. It makes us do crazy things – like run away, it can even make us cruel in our distaste.

So…

Can you smell me? I didn’t think so. Because I can’t smell you. Which leads me to believe that there’s some sort of blogging pheromone wafting about.

What makes us connect, fuse and fall in blogging love? And what make us delete, leave nasty comments and close the window? It must be the words, the sentiment, the emotion, the energy, the shared life experience, the joy (or disdain) of shared humanity.

Image credit: Brouhaha (I could NOT resist this picture)

Warning: this post is kinda gross.

My birth experience was horrid: preeclampsia, 2 lb. baby, NICU (neonatal  intensive care unit). All bad. I also had an emergency c-section. Let me tell you, it is a crazy thing to be awake while you are cut open. Then, it is a terrifying thing to move about the world with your abdomen cut open.

Yes, there were stitches binding me together. But I wouldn’t move without pressing a folded towel tightly against the incision. Granted, I was in a trauma state from the whole experience, but my fear that all-of-my-everything would spill out of me was as real as the hormone induced tears that I couldn’t make stop.

Then, yesterday, I was having a conversation about the fact that you can feel 180 degrees different about the same ‘thing’ depending on the circumstance.

Because when I write – and when I’m on – I feel like my head, my heart and guts are sliced wide open. But it’s glorious. I pray the cut will deepen. I would do anything to keep it open. To plant stakes in the sides and let it all flow without constraint.

Somethings you’re desperate to keep inside. Others you urgently need to release.

Image credit: Martin Clifton

Surprisingly, this post applies to my male readers too – and to people that don’t consider themselves to be pretty (you really are, like it or not).

Writers, freelancers, work from homers – whoever you may be. At some point in your illustrious career, some lovely person has said this to you, “That’s so cool that you work from home! You can just wear your pajamas all day and no one will care or see you!”

Uh huh. It’s true. We could do that. And some days, I’m sure we all do.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and proclaim, superficiality be damned, that what we wear, how we costume ourselves, really does matter. It affects what we think about ourselves, how we act, how we talk, what we say, what actions we take.

When I dress in sweats and running shoes, I’m casual, I slump – sometimes when I look from the work I’m doing on my computer down to my clothes and back up again, it occurs to me that I’m maybe I’m only ‘playing’ writer.

So, I don’t do that anymore. Because when I wear jeans that fit in all the right places, my good bra that erases 3. 5 years of pregnancy and nursing with a single clasp, a beautiful and stain-free sweater and shoes that make me almost as tall as most other people who are on the shorter side of average height – then, I feel it when I’m sitting in this chair.

I’m confident, I’m worthy, I’m an adult, I’m a professional. I’m in touch with my power source. I own it. You can see it in the way I hold myself, in the way I walk, in the way I am and in the way I do. I dare say it’s my pretty girl karma. Because what I put out, comes right back at me – respect, value, compensation for what I’m worth, hotness, good people, great projects.

And in this case, karma is not a bitch. (Unless you piss her off.)

This post is dedicated to the FANTASTIC Kelly Diels who, when I told her that I dressed hot for the big Dragon Tattoo Blog Hunt launch yesterday even though no one saw me all day, remarked, ‘Of course…pretty girl karma’ without skipping a beat – and sparked my brain and ignited this post. Kelly gets it and just so you know, Kelly always looks hot and always shows plenty of Cleavage. I love her to bits.

What about you? Do you have power clothes? A power look? Are you affected by your threads? How?

Image credit: AlyssssylA

Here’s the official hooha on the social media campaign:

In anticipation of the March 19th U.S. theatrical release of Dragon Tattoo, Music Box Films will launch a clue-based Blog Hunt around the web on March 10th. Top bloggers will publish articles about The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with an embedded clue leading readers to the next site in the Hunt. Readers will follow these clues for prizes including film tickets, books and posters. The contest will focus on blog topics covered in the film including technology, writing, violence against women, and tattoos. The Blog Hunt will begin on the movie’s official website where the first clue will be published.

And because I love all of YOU so very much, I’m giving you an exclusive clue – or rather to the answer to one of the clues.

Yours truly wrote one of the blog posts for the Blog Hunt and it’s published on Copyblogger. So, if you’re playing along and you get to the clue that talks about ‘copy’ and ‘blogging’ you’ll know right where to go. And now on to the post:

Blogging Lessons from The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

A 40 year-old unsolved murder mystery. Strange cryptic codes in a bible. Sweden, sandwiches and many, many cigarettes. The badass-est female protagonist since…forever. And an author who has, posthumously, caused quite a ruckus in the book world and in the minds of conspiracy theorists everywhere.

Yes, I’m talking about The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. If you haven’t heard of it, the rest of us are inviting you to come out from under your rock. Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest) is topping bestseller lists as we speak and the theatrical release of Dragon Tattoo hits the U.S. next week.

I had the good fortune of screening an advanced copy and, of course, my mind went blog, blog, blog. Because that’s what blog obsessed people like us do. It’s almost like we’re wearing blog colored glasses as we look out onto our worlds. Here are the blogging lessons I learned from this tattooed ‘girl’…

Gasoline feeds a fire, but first there has to be a spark

At one point in the movie, a man lays under a car. Having just flown off the side of the road, both he and the car are demolished, gasoline is spilling out everywhere…and he waits, watching, trapped. Finally there’s a spark…and then fire, total combustion.

So often we have all of the ingredients, right? The design is just right, the writing is perfection, the research says that there’s a need for the content….but then, nothing. No traffic, no comments, no buzz. Why? What’s missing?

There has to be a spark. Maybe it comes in the form of a new partnership, a referral or an outside event (like a shortage of light bulbs) that makes your product (candles) suddenly burst into high demand. Or maybe you have a life changing event that triggers your passion, maybe you read a book that causes something to click in your brain or your heart.

And then, there’s no stopping the heat….

Read the rest of the lessons on Copyblogger’s slice of the sphere and get the next clue in the Blog Hunt!

FYI, depending on where you work, this might not be totally appropriate. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

(And, Jon – my love – I’ll be in the City at the end of the month, if you want to grab a drink. I take my vodka on the rocks with as many olives as you can fit in the glass. Oh, and, I love you.)

I had a physiological and emotional reaction to Sunday. I named it – in true writer fashion – when I was about 7 years old. I know that my mom (who reads this blog) won’t remember this, but I do. I was trying to tell her how I felt, because it was so, well, sad and intense. My interpretation was that I had my ‘Sunday Feeling’. Eventually, this became the term that I used to describe that particular brand of sadness whenever it happened – Sunday or not. Clinically, I think it would be identified as depression. The Sunday Feeling feels bottomless and lost, a little bit scared and incredibly still. And it still creeps up on me every now and then.

See how I’m a classically tortured artist?

I like to name things, always have. Like the time I told my 1st grade teacher, Miss Carragher, that I was carsick. She told me I couldn’t be carsick sitting at my desk – but it was the only reference I had for nausea at that point, being in the car. It made perfect sense to me. That woman never understood me.

But, Friday, glorious Friday. It held so much possibility, you know? It was the day you spent planning and dreaming up the weekend, the expanse of the two days to come spread out hugely in front of you. And, just like the Sunday Feeling, the Friday Feeling also and quickly became unattached to the actual day.

The Friday Feeling happened on the last day of school, and on the first. The Friday Feeling happens at the beginning of a relationship. The Friday Feeling happens when you get a call about a great project. The Friday Feeling happens when you can’t stop writing and everything just works. The Friday Feeling feels topless (as in the opposite of bottomless, not as in shirtless – though sometimes that could apply), full, purposeful, gleeful. The Friday Feeling has butterflies attached – they fly around in your gut, your chest, your throat.

To me, the butterflies are the drive behind the Friday Feeling. Their movement, after all, is the surest sign that you’re leaving the despair-filled stillness behind.

Image credit: Laura Burlton

So, back in junior high, calculators were forbidden. They were seen as cheating tools. But, did you know that today they’re considered learning tools? They’re included on school supply lists along with pencils and 3-ring binders and White Out (which is another cheating tool, if you ask me).

The Writer’s Calculator

When I’m doing math and I have to add up a receipt (4.29 + 2.79+ 3.39 + 5.99), I’m all about using my calculator (the one on my computer, the one on my Blackberry or the one sitting on my desk). And, I have to admit, I always feel like I’m doing something wrong when I whip out my computerized math-brain. It’s like the guy on Sex and the City that has to take a shower immediately after sex because 30 years earlier the nuns told him intercourse was dirty. Calculator use sets off a reflex that kicks the ‘you’re cheating!’ button in my head.

But, it’s different when I’m writing. We (writers) have our own ‘calculator’ – it’s called a Thesaurus. And just like my calculator, it also lives on my computer, on the web, on my phone and on my desk.

I love my Thesaurus.

I’ve tried many…but am firmly and deeply head over heels for the one that lives in my MacBook. Apple does a lot of things right and this is one of them. Personally, I don’t think it’s cheating to use the Thesaurus to find words because (and tell me if you can relate) I know the word I want to use, I just can’t remember it. But, when I’m adding up those decimally pointed amounts on the receipt, the calculator isn’t reminding me of the answer that I already know, it’s telling me the answer plain and simple.

My thesaurus, if you will, is like an artist’s pallet. I have the vision in my head, and I look to the thesaurus (from time to time) to see what colors will help me bring it to life.

Image credit: FranKaño

It was from a recruiter. Offering a very (very) high paid job at a company in Boston. For those of you who read this blog regularly and saw yesterday’s post, you can join me in a good laugh here: the position was to create and manage the social media department – wait for it – for a PR firm.

I know. As an old friend used to say, you just can’t make this stuff up.

It turned out that the job wasn’t right for me, the company’s looking for someone with strong social media experience and hands-on programming experience (HTML, Javascript, AJAX, XML, etc.) Which would be like asking me if I could write and do chemistry…which I couldn’t, can’t and, quite frankly, won’t. (If this is YOU, let me know and I’ll guide you right to this recruiter!!! And don’t let the Boston thing scare you, they’re even willing to pay for relo.)

Even though that particular job wasn’t for me, we got to talking – and said recruiter was very excited about what it is that I do, how I do it and why I do it. To be honest, I was excited about my answers too. And this confirmed that it would be sorta hard to woo me away from my present situation – owning my own company, being my own boss, freelancing and the randomness that comes with it.

Let’s be honest.

An actual job has some things going for it: a steady paycheck, health insurance, VACATION TIME, SICK TIME               sorry – I’m back, I think I just fainted for a minute there.

But, and it’s a big BUT – how secure would this job really be? As it stands, my success is entirely dependent on me. It’s a lot of pressure, but at least it’s mine. I do well when I work hard, seize opportunity, smear my gumption all over people…and things like that. I do poorly when I don’t do those things. And I have no one to blame but myself. Really. Even if I get screwed over or let down by a client, it’s up to me whether I cry about it and sling responsibility (and we all deserve at least 5 minutes of this) or whether I just get up and go find another one, a better one. Companies fold all the time or it’s just not a good fit or…there are so many things that could make this opportunity crumble.*

So, what I told her was, “Of course, I’ll send my resume, but:

• I’d be more interest in working as a contractor,
• Or as a consultant,
• Or on a special project for a few weeks to several months,
• And I’d need to telecommute,
• But I’d be happy to travel in on a regular basis.”

I’m not closing any doors. If a job-job came along that was just perfect (and had a sizable signing bonus), I would heavily consider it. As always, there is no definitive path…but there’s a helluva lot of excitement and possibility.

What about you? If you had your choice, would you go it alone or pull your chair up to a cubicle?

*I’m really not a pessimist. The other night, a loud truck with flashing lights woke me up in the middle of the night – my first and only thought was, why are they cleaning the streets at this hour? When, in fact and of course, it was a snowplow and we were in the middle of a snowstorm on March 1st. I think this is a sign of my deeply embedded optimism. (Which is why, for now, I’m putting my chips on Writing Roads.)

Image credit: Lokner