Don’t Speculate – Get the Facts

Many times when we are hit with a misfortune we tend to dramatize the problem beyond its real magnitude.  There is no point in stressing out over speculation about how severe the problem might be.  The most effective way to deal with the situation is to stay calm and gather the facts.  Assess the true nature of the damage before you start panicking about how you will deal with it.

Everything is Relative

After you get the facts you may realize that the situation is not really as bad as you once thought.  This happens more often than most people realize and that is why it is so important to gather the facts first before you start worrying about it.  For those occasions where the situation is indeed as bad or worse than you thought, put it in perspective.  Everything is relative and things can always be worse.

Don’t Spend Too Much Time Mourning

Humans are emotional beings.  It is natural to mourn after a major misfortune happens to us.  But be careful about not wasting too much time mourning or letting depression steal your energy and time.  Only you will know how long you must mourn, but be conscientious of the fact that you must move on.

Accept Your Losses

The best way to get past the state of mourning and back to your normal life is to accept your losses.  Don’t think too much about why this happened to you.  Accept it for what it is - some things are just unexplainable – and move on.

Take an Immediate Positive Step

A key component of a fast recovery is to take an immediate positive step as soon as you can.  Even a small step that will take you in the direction of recovery can be helpful.  What is most important is to get a positive momentum going again.

Count Your Blessings

We all have something to be thankful for.  One of the best times to count your blessings is when misfortune strikes.  Think about all the good things you have going for you.  This will help alleviate the pain that comes with misfortunes.

It All Happens For a Reason

In the end, keep in mind that everything happens for a reason, even when you don’t understand the reason.  Many people have found more significance and purpose in life after a major catastrophe.  You never know, a few years down the road you may be thankful for having experienced misfortune.

Besides heading up the INNERCITY magazine, Farrah is the author of the book Reallionaire: Nine Steps to Becoming Rich from the Inside Out, in which he shares his story of how he used his desire to help his family to build his success.  In the book he describes how his resilience and willingness to try different things when faced with rejection made him who his is today – a millionaire, successful entrepreneur and philanthropist.

The video below will get you introduced to Farrah, but if you really want to know his story and get some pointers on how to become a reallionaire yourself, I suggest you read the book.

Without further ado, here is the reallionaire Farrah Gray:

In the article Time is Money we discussed the fact that doing things yourself doesn’t always make economic sense.  But in that article we didn’t even consider the fact that you may end up doing a significant amount of harm to your health and consequently to your finances by following a do-it-yourself strategy.

According to Nick Jouriles, president of the American College of Emergency Physicians, there has been an increase in the last year in the number of injuries from do-it-yourself projects, and he says this is probably due to the current economic environment and that people are trying to save money.

A poll of members of Angie’s List, a web site that that provides reviews of contractors, found that 83% of respondents decided to do project themselves instead of using contractors in order to save money.  The problem is that the savings can be easily wiped out, and the total cost can end up being much higher than if it had been contracted out when homeowners have to pay someone to redo the work that they did poorly, or worse yet, it they end up paying a ton of money to pay for healthcare as a result of their decision.

Health problems from do-it-yourself projects can range from back injuries to cuts to much more serious problems.  Arlo Weltge, an emergency physician who is also a spokesman for the emergencies-physicians association, says he sees injuries from do-it-yourself projects in the emergency room all the time:

“A lot of these things are well-intentioned and not necessarily difficult, but unfortunately we see a lot of these.” 

Angie Hicks, founder of Angie’s List says that homeowners should evaluate their skill level when considering a do-it-yourself project:

“You have to be really honest with yourself about what kind of experience you have for the project.  You should really start with something small and feel your comfort level and to get a success under your belt.”

If you have done your math and still think the risk-reward equation of doing a project yourself is still in your favor, at least wear the proper protection such as gloves, dust mask and eye and ear projection to reduce the risk of injuries.

Even the great achievers in difference facets of life plan for a period of rest.  The world’s greatest athletes understand the importance of the off period to let the body rest in order for the muscles to recover and maintain a healthy state.  The same concept applies to mental activities.  Whether you are a business person, an artist, or a professional that uses your intellectual capacity as the main thrust behind your success, an occasional break where you can get away from your day-to-day worries will help restore the “brain muscles” that you count on everyday.

Besides the physical benefits that come from a period of rest, taking a break from your current set of activities has additional psychological side benefits.  One of the most important side benefits is the new perspective often gained by stepping aside and recalibrating your thoughts.  In your search for success you will likely be deeply engaged in detailed activities that often keep you from reflecting upon the big picture.  A period of rest is an excellent opportunity to clear your mind of the day-to-day distractions so that it can focus on what is really important. 

During this period of inactivity it is helpful to engage is activities that you not only enjoy, but also exposes you to experiences and concepts that are not familiar to you.  For instance, during your break, try a new activity that you have always wanted to do but never had the time.  It could be something as wild as sky diving, or as simple as visiting a museum in town that you haven’t been to in a long time.  Going to another country is an excellent way to get exposure to different ways of doing things that will certainly stimulate your brain cells.

You may also find that getting exposure to something not related to your field my open the doors to new opportunities in the field that you are in.  It is not uncommon to find answers to difficult issues or questions in a totally unrelated area.  The brain sometimes has mysterious ways of arriving at answers.  Opening a new pathway in the intricate network of brain cell connections may be just what you need to achieve the next level of success.

Since we believe in walking the talk, we are going to follow our own advice and take a break for about 3 weeks.  During this period of inactivity on the site, we hope that new inspirational ideas will brew so that we can continue to share with you fresh content that you can use in your success journey.

Talk to you again soon.

Loss of Focus

Loss of focus is perhaps the most common reason for not achieving success or experiencing relapses or setbacks on previously achieved goals.  Maintaining focus is absolutely critical, but it can be easier said than done, especially when it involves intense mental strain.

One example that clearly illustrates how lack of focus distracts from success is the challenge associated with maintaining weight loss.  Thomas Wadden, director of the Center for Weight and Eating Disorders at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, says that the fact that celebrities like Kirstie Alley and Oprah Winfrey, who have financial resources not available to most Americans, still can’t keep the weight off is an indication of the formidable challenges of this popular goal.  He described his sentiment in a recent USA Today article:

“Keeping weight off is one of the most significant accomplishments you can do in modern America.”

Given the magnitude of this challenge, it is fitting to look at weight loss maintenance as a case study for what distracts people from success.  In this case, as in many other aspects of achievement, success requires constant effort and vigilance.  You are fighting natural biological tendencies, the abundance of food, and food related messages all around us.  Disappointments are quite common in the field of weight loss due to unrealistic expectations and the desire to achieve instance gratification which is not likely to occur in a weight loss effort.

So if you ask people that have experienced difficulty in either achieving their weight loss goal or maintaining their weight loss after achieving a desired weight target, why that is the case, the one common element you will hear in their response is that they lost focus on their weight loss effort as other aspects of life demanded more of their attention and energy.

Mary Gavila, of Ocala, Florida who weighed 133 pounds a few years ago but now weighs more than her desired weight succinctly describes the problem:

“I lose my focus.  It’s the same thing with Kirstie Alley.  She lost her focus”

When describing her troubles with fluctuating weight, Oprah Winfrey explained in her magazine that she gained weight because her work-focused life lost balance.  In other words, her focus shifted from weight loss maintenance to other elements of her life that, for whatever reason, took higher priority.

Keeping focused on your goals requires concentration and motivation.  When you start getting off track it is absolutely critical that, first of all, you recognize the problem and not let it go unchecked.  With all the other issues in life fighting for your attention it is very tempting to want to “let go” of your goal and effort.  But the price you pay later is not worth the temporary psychological relief that you may feel at the time.

The key to maintaining focus is staying motivated.  Only you know what your source of inspiration and motivation is.  So the moment you start getting off track, seek that source.  Even an occasional break is OK, as long as it is a conscious effort to give yourself a rest that will not take you too far off track and that will have a definite beginning and an end.  Once that rest period id over, you must get back on track and start focusing on the goal at hand again.

In your success journey you will likely lose focus occasionally.  Don’t worry too much about it - it happens to everyone.  What is important is to recognize when you have lost focus, and to quickly get back on the road to success.

Starting your own business at a young age can be very advantageous later in life.  You will certainly learn a lot more by trying to be successful in your business venture than flipping burgers at a fast-food joint.  This opportunity will also give you a taste for what it is like to be your own boss, and the experience can help you decide if entrepreneurship is for you.  Experimenting at a young age, when you have few commitments and responsibilities is a great way to discover if this is what you want to do in life.  The risks are low, and if things don’t work out, at least you have that experience under your belt.

As reported in the USA Today, the Small Business Administration’s Office of Advocacy says that in 2006, which are the latest figures available, there were 492,000 people under 25 who were self-employed.  An this year entrepreneurial programs geared towards youth groups such as Junior Achievement and the National Foundation for Teaching Entrepreneurship are seeing a higher level of interest from kids that are discouraged by the difficult employment market.

Junior Achievement USA president Jack Kosakowski describes that kids are seeing parents and other adults being laid off after being loyal to their employers and going through financial turmoil, so they are starting to think that being their own boss may be the right move for them.  “It might be out of necessity, since there aren’t a lot of jobs out there”, he says.

In the article Teenager Entrepreneurs Become Millionaires we shared with you the success stories of Cameron Johnson and Ashley Qualls, both of whom built very successful businesses as teenagers.  Other famous entrepreneurs that started their businesses as teenagers and grew them to multi-billion-dollar enterprises include Bill Gates and Tommy Hilfiger.

But even teenager entrepreneurs who have achieved more modest success can serve as examples to other young people.  Take Leanna Archer as an example.  At the tender age of 13, she started to sell all-natural hair-conditioning pomade which is made from a family recipe.  The business did so well that she expanded to more than a dozen other hair and body products.  She started the business from her family’s home in 2005.  By 2008 the business had generated $110,000 in revenues and is on track to generate more $150,000 in 2009.

Similarly, Jasmine Lawrence started Eden Bodyworks at the age of 13 with savings from her allowances and a $2,000 loan from her parents.  Today at age 17 she sells more than 20,000 units of her body-care products a month through her website alone.  Dun & Bradstreet estimates her annual revenue at more than $700,000.

These teenager entrepreneurs are great role models not only for other young people looking for some direction in their life in these tough economics times, but also for all who would like to take a chance with an entrepreneurial venture.  The fact that these young and inexperienced people can be successful in starting their own business gives all of us hope that success as an entrepreneur is within anyone’s reach.

1. Write down your goals, dreams and aspirations.  Don’t let anything limit your imagination, just write down all your dreams regardless of whether you think they are realistic or not.  This should be a pretty extensive list with dozens of items.
2. Mark each item on your list with A, B or C based on the following criteria: A. This is really important to you; B. This would be nice, but is not necessary to make you happy; C. Don’t really have to have it.
3. Take the items that you marked as A and prioritize them as 1, 2 or 3, in order of importance to you.
4. Of the ones you marked as 1, or highest importance, select 3 items.
5. Write down why you want the 3 items that you selected – don’t worry about whether you can achieve them or not, just be clear about why you want them.
6. Put a date next to these 3 items.  The dates should be within the next 1-5 years.
7. Start working on these 3 items immediately and make them the top priority in your life.

The main points of this method are to:

1. Make sure you are focused on what is really, really important to you.
2. Make sure you understand why these things are important to you.
3. Set a date when you will achieve them, setting a sense of urgency and setting the stage for you to take action.
4. Not worry about how difficult these goals maybe.  If they weren't difficult they probably would not be worth that much to you anyway.

The key with this method, just like any other, is to take action.  Follow through and see your dreams become reality.

Here is how Buffett describes Kilts and his book:

"Jim Kilts transformed Gillette. Before his arrival, the company was a study in self-deception. Great brands were being mishandled, operational and financial discipline was non-existent and fanciful promises to investors were standard practice. In record time, Jim excised these business pathogens. I've learned much from Jim. So, too, will readers of this book."

Although the focus of the book is on business, the success concepts described by Kilts can be applied to just about any facet of life.  Here are the key principles of success taught in the book that you should apply to your own success journey:

1. Growth. It's healthy to have a "continuous dissatisfaction with the status quo"

2. Relationships. Don't underestimate the value of mentors.

3. Loyalty. Treat colleagues with respect, and you will gain credibility and trust.

4. Small moments. Small actions on your part stay with subordinates and with people you deal with in general.

5. Timely decisions. Don't delay action when a team member doesn't fit.  In other words, it’s they ones you don’t fire that will keep you awake at night.

6. Do what you enjoy. The more you like your work, the more you'll excel.

7. Life's early lessons. Do the right thing, always.

8. The right team. Find good colleagues and keep them around you.

9. Confront reality. Sometimes the best manager can't fix a situation, but the worst thing you can do is go into denial.

If you take the advice above to heart and do the few things that really matter, you will likely achieve the success you are looking for. 

The list below shows how market recoveries have occurred shortly after the events that caused the crisis:

And here is the stock market performance one year after the last six bear markets:

If history is to repeat itself, as it usually does, this bull market will likely be for real.

Stretching the Truth

Every time you stretch the truth to get credit, recognition, or any other type of reward you are running the risk of ruining your reputation and credibility.  It is very easy to fall into the trap of justifying in your own mind making certain assertions that may not be complete lies, but that are not the whole truth.  Don’t go there.  If you make any sort of public assertions or provide a professional opinion on a particular matter, make sure you put it through the litmus test of being able to state it without a shadow of a doubt. Otherwise, you may be challenged by others, putting you in a defensive position that is extremely difficult to get out of and that can have very negative consequences.

Not Keeping Commitments

Commitments should be sacred.  Once you make a commitment to someone, no matter how small or trivial it might seem, follow through.  If it is not possible to follow through on your commitment, offer you apologies and make up for lost ground.  If you make lots of promises but never deliver on them, pretty soon you will get a reputation of being flaky.

Conflicts of Interest

One area that you should be extremely careful about is conflicts of interest.  Never put yourself in a situation where your true motives may be questioned.  Your actions or decisions should never have even the appearance of being influenced by personal interests that are in conflict with that of your employer, client or other parties that you have a relationship with.  If there is ever a question about a potential conflict of interest, full disclosure is the best policy.

Betrayal of Allegiances

When you are in an alliance with another party it is very important that you don’t betray that allegiance.  Your actions should never put in doubt who you are truly allied with, otherwise you may develop a reputation of being a traitor.

Compromising Your Values

Any time you compromise your values you betray your allegiance to yourself.  Stay true to your values and principles even if it hurts someone else’s feelings.  Sometimes you have to take a hard stance against a position that a friend, a co-worker, a boss or a subordinate has taken, and this can be hard, especially if you tend to avoid conflict.  But the short-term pain will be a lot less harmful than the long-term consequences of taking a position that conflicts with your values.

Mishandling Confidentiality

When something is shared with you confidentially you have an obligation to keep the information confidential.  If you have a lose tongue, very soon people will realize that you are not someone they can confide in, and you will quickly develop a negative reputation.  Be careful with confidential information, especially around a circle of “friends” that are sharing confidential information with you and expect the same in return.

These are just a few of the many potential traps that can damage your integrity.  There may be shortcuts to achieving success, but they tend to be short-lived.  Keeping a watchful eye on maintaining an undisputable reputation will help you sustain you success for a long time to come.