Continue reading »]]> What is a rebel? By its very definition it simply means; to resist or rise against some authority, control, or tradition. So how does that apply to our faith and exposing others to Jesus? Well for starters Jesus was a rebel. Look at the opening words to Lecrae’s song “Rebel.”

“Jesus was a rebel, a renegade, outlaw/ sanctified troublemaker but He never sinned, oh/ and He lived His life by a different set of Rules/ the culture ain’t approve/so you know they had to bruise em/ that’s the way they do/ man”

When Jesus stepped onto the scene and began his ministry he was a rebel in comparison to the religious leaders of his time. He purposely chose to hang with people the Pharisee’s would never dream of getting near. He lived by a different set of rules; “You heard it said, But I say….” And he turned their culture and world upside down as a result of his rebellion. But Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant. – Matthew 20:25-26

In John 4 we see his rebellion against culture when he spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well. The Jews and Samaritans hated each other. As a matter fact the Jews would purposely walk out of their way just to avoid even walking through a Samaritan village.

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” – John 4:9-10

And in John 8 we see his rebellion against the rules of the Pharisee’s.

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” – John 8:3-7

And in Matthew 28:19-20 he calls us to be rebels by sharing our faith. By making disciples, who make disciple, who make disciples. Something the religious leaders of his time and even the religious of our time are NOT doing.

So, are you ready to become a rebel with Jesus? Are you ready to shake this culture and world by spending time with the lost, the hurt, the confused, the shunned and the rejects? Are you ready to make disciples that make disciples? Are you ready to change the rules?

“I’m in rebellion with Jesus against anything and everything this world tries to throw at me. I will not allow the world to dictate how I look, dress, or eat. I’m an original masterpiece created by my Heavenly Daddy. And it’s time to change the rules.”

Continue reading »]]> **Before moving to Terre Haute, IN to become the Youth Pastor at Agape Christian Church I served with the Christian Retreat Center in PA as the director for T.I.M.S. (Teens in Missionary Service) The following is an article I wrote for them after a building project we did for a homeless women. This is just another reminder that the gospel must be shared all the time. Building homes and providing food is not enough. This is why I love what they do at T.I.M.S.**

Ask me what the TIMS (Teens in Missionary Service) program is all about and I’ll introduce to Mary. I had the chance to meet Mary two weeks before the first TIMS group arrived at CRC. She’s an elderly woman, a widow, a cancer survivor, a loner, and…homeless. I was not really prepared for what I was going to see when I arrived at what she called home.

Mary lives in a camper. You know…the kind you and I would use for family vacations, RV weekends, or hunting trips. Surrounding her camper is five acres of woods with a narrow muddy driveway leading to her home. She has no septic system, water is drawn from a hose leading from her well, and her dining room consists of a small folding camping table with built-in benches. On her property stood a small 24’ x 20’ shell of a house. Mary had put her trust in a man that told her he could build her a home, but once we took a look at what this “contractor” had built we knew something was not right.

A floor was poured and roughly leveled off with foot prints permanently imbedded into the concrete. The only support holding up the outer walls was a tie strap, loosely fit. The dry wall that had been hung on the ceiling had rough edges as if it was cut by hand with a dull blade. Though the roof had been shingled it leaked leaving mold on the roughly installed dry wall. The electrical was installed but made for a nightmare, even to an untrained eye like mine. The windows had been installed upside down and wrong side in..or was it out. I can’t remember. Bottom line the windows had been damaged in the weather due to their improper installation. I could share so much more about the condition of Mary’s home and lifestyle, but it would take more words then I have room to write.

During the first week of TIMS this summer, Carlisle BIC brought their junior high youth group along with several adult volunteers. Just the week before we had the chance to not only fill them in on Mary’s condition, but also show them, and by the time the week got started Carlisle came well prepared. Mary’s poorly built shell of a house was gutted by Saturday, new floor built  and roof repaired by Monday, walls framed by Wednesday, plumbing fixed and new windows installed by Thursday, and the electrical, some dry wall and siding done by Friday. As the teens and leaders sat around the campfire Friday night reflecting and sharing about their week they had come to realize that a group of junior high teens and adult volunteers had built a house. Something myself and the CRC staff didn’t even imagine would happen.

How did it all happen? It happened because of the hearts of each person committed to serving Jesus, sharing Jesus, and showing love to Mary. In John 13:34-35 Jesus tells us; “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another.” Loving others is more than warm fuzzy feelings. It’s an attitude that shows through our actions when we truly love others, it shows we belong to Jesus, and it shows that our love for them is based on Jesus’ sacrificial love for us.

It also took men like Chuck, Rodney, Greg, Dan, Jamie, JP, Doug and Corby using their skills in the area of home construction. It took the donation of material resources and money. And it’s continuing this week as the Manheim BIC Junior High teens pick up and finish the job so many others have started.

But it doesn’t stop there. Something else happened, something bigger than building a house. Through the hearts and extreme faith of every person that week Mary gave me an answer to a question we had all been asking her; “why is everyone here Mary?” We’ll never forget her reply; “God used every person here this week to show me Jesus. Now I need to get to know him.” The T.I.M.S. program is meeting the physical needs, but its priority is the spiritual needs of people right in our own backyard. It’s about furthering the Kingdom of God by sharing the truth of the gospel.

Now that’s what I call an extreme makeover!

Continue reading »]]> I want you to meet my neighbor…

Four year’s ago my wife Kim and I moved into a townhouse community shortly after I completed an interim youth pastor position. We were eager to get settled in and begin making the house into our home. But after three very busy and long days of loading and unloading, packing and unpacking I was more than ready to crash on the couch and do, well…nothing. I didn’t even want to think, that’s how sore and tired I was from moving, arranging and rearranging until the furniture was in the right place.

Just as I was ready to crash and burn on the couch with a tall glass of iced tea Kim reminded me of one more box out in the trunk of our car. It was then I met my neighbor. Living in a townhouse community means your neighbors are right next to you, literally. As I made my way to the car I heard a muffled voice say; “whasa happen’?” It was then I met Kevin, well his feet I should say. He had himself tucked under his old Chevy van. What he was working on that day I don’t remember. But I’ll never forget his distinct greeting, “whasa happen?” To this day he still greets me with that phrase that only Kevin can do.

Now, I’m going to pause here for a minute and say that my first impression of Kevin was not very nice. As a matter of fact it was down right rude, but thankfully it was all internalized in my head and I didn’t verbalize it. Oh come on now, don’t tell me you haven’t had some not-so-nice-first-impression-thoughts about someone you met for the first time, so don’t judge me. Covered in grease and dirt there he stood with old pair jeans on, baseball cap, a stretched out t-shirt, a cig in one hand and a beer in the other. And all while crawling out from under his old van that looked like something from the movie Deliverance. Yes, if you’re thinking King of the Hill episode you’re right, that was my first impression.

Because I was tired I really wasn’t in the mood for chatting, but I thought better and figured it would only take a second for me to be neighborly. I thought; “I’ll shake his greasy hand, say a few words, and get into my new home and on my couch to catch the season opener of college football.” Boy was I wrong. That late summer afternoon standing between our driveways sparked a relationship between Kevin and I that will last a life time, and I’m praying it will last well into eternity. A relationship that has taught me a lot about faith, trust, doubt, anger, fear, and limits as well as who I am in Christ. You see, at that moment when I reached my hand out to shake his I had no idea what God was up to that day, but he was about to make a connection between a Christ-follower and atheist, a very hard nosed atheist. The thought never crossed my mind that God would use an atheist to impact my life in such a profound way by making it stronger, but then again haven’t we all said at some point; “I never thought God would…”

Within the first year of our friendship as I got to know him I found myself journaling about our “man-cave” times, driveway chats and grillin’/chillin’ debates. If you think this post will be all warm and fuzzy at the end and about how I lead Kevin to Jesus the first day I met him think again. Our friendship was not always about cool high fives and “whasa happen” moments. The words penned in my journal these past few years are also filled with anger, doubt, fear and questions regarding our friendship. And even now as I type out the words to this post, Kevin refuses to acknowledge God or Jesus as the only way to heaven.

Now a year after moving from PA to IN and away from Kevin I continue to share the gospel with him and pray for him. He knows I’m relentless about it as he knows my relationship with him is important. So if you’ve been sharing Jesus with someone and they have not put their faith in him, don’t give up. Be relentless in sharing and praying as well as relational. I’m not giving up on Kevin. So don’t give up on your friend.

Continue reading »]]> **While catching up on Facebook messages, feeds and notification I came across this post written by another youth worker. I think it communicates well the mind and thoughts of many youth worker today.**

I am a Youth Minister.

I am the unsung worker in the unsung field of the unsung harvest. It should be no shock that no one recognizes the work I do considering very few people recognize the kids to whom I have dedicated my life to reach. The world of my kids is a distant land, seldom thought of or journeyed to, and rarely considered. I have sailed away from shore in an effort to reach it, and in doing so, I have sailed, in some ways, away from being recognized and remembered in what I do.

I am a Youth Minister.

I won’t fit the mold of the “everyday job”. I might not be in the office by 8:30 a.m., since I probably won’t leave before 9:00 p.m. I don’t wear a tie. I get to wear jeans. My office might look a bit like a wreck, complete with a paper-filled desk surrounded by volleyballs and left-over sleeping bags, old retreat T-shirts and broken guitar strings, dog-eared copies of paperback bibles and crumpled sign-up forms and flyers. Contrary to most, my office isn’t where most of my work happens. My work happens in the bleachers at the high school soccer game, at the local Dairy Queen, at the mall, the arcade, and the dance recitals. My work happens wherever those kids are. Right now they are in second period. So, I’ll clear a space in my office and sit here and wait until 3:00 p.m. when I can see them again.

I am a Youth Minister.

More than likely, I’ll never be “successful” by the world’s standards. I knew that when I answered the call to be here. I can’t forget that. I’ll never be a Gold Medallion level frequent flyer with the ability to complain how much my company makes me travel because they need me so much. I’ll never have a company car. I may never travel out of my neighborhood, and my car will always have face prints on the windows, soda cans rolling around under the seats, and a few teenagers sitting inside. I’ll never be moving up the corporate ladder. I may never get a new title, since there isn’t much other way to describe what I do.

I am a Youth Minister.

I’m not like some other ministers, I can’t simply open up the doors of my church and expect people to flock to me and hear words of wisdom. I must go find them. I can’t afford to stand above those around me or rise above them in image, personality, or ego. I must use all my effort, humility, and character to dive down to where most of where my kids reside, meet them where they are, and work to pick them back up. Glossy, multi-syllable words aren’t a benefit to me. They do nothing more than get me funny looks of confusion. My rule is simplicity. Simple words. Simple ideas. Simple love. I try to love on kids the same way Jesus did.
I am a Youth Minister.

Most of that which surrounds me will be unique. I’ll be the one that submits receipts for reimbursements that include marshmallows, bungee cords, whipped cream, rub on tattoos, massive amounts of pizza, and multi-colored wigs. I’ll be the one that everyone runs to when something around the church gets broken, spilt upon or stained. I’ll be the one that few board members will take seriously. I’ll be taken for granted and overlooked. When my group is going great, I’ll simply be meeting expectations and I’ll hear very little. When things occasionally go awry, I’ll hear it from everyone. I’ll be the one that everyone simply considers a “playmate” to the kids, everyone except the kids, that is. They’ll be just about the only ones that could speak of the depth, heart, and magnitude of what we are dealing with here. Unfortunately, their voices are taken less seriously by the rest of the church than mine.

I am a Youth Minister.

My boss doesn’t yell at me. God is my boss. Some people try to consider themselves as my boss sometimes, but they aren’t my boss. My real boss is one of the few that recognizes what I do. He smiles down on me when my kids smile and cries with us when we cry. He worries about them a good bit, for He truly sees what they are up against each day. My boss never leaves me. I depend on Him in everything I do. He provides for me my every need. He know me. He knows the kids. He is the one at work here, not me. It does me good to constantly remember that. I get overwhelmed when I forget. I am not in charge here.

I am a Youth Minister.

My customers are teenagers. They have little or no money, prestige, influence, or buying power. They are confused and lost more times than not. People seldom listen to them or give them respect. They need to talk, to laugh, to be loved, to be listened to, and to rest. Most adults are always on their case. They hate to see most adults coming. Most adults just want them to turn their music down, cut their hair, quit talking like that, and leave the mall. That is the extent that most folks see out of them. I do not.

I am a Youth Minister.

My job will never be understood by my friends. I can consider myself to them, in some ways, like the nuclear bio-physicist. They have heard of the title, but they don’t really know what I do. Sometimes they will say, “Well, that is an admirable job” or “Well, there is a field that definitely needs some attention” but that is about as far as it will go. To many, they will see what I do as the best that I can do. So they will think that I had to settle for working with kids. To me, I will see it as something that I have chosen to do…and feel that I must do. Many will ask, “What will you do when you are fifty?”
“God willing, exactly the same thing,” I will respond. Many will be jealous of me, because they have noticed that I never complain about what I do, and love what I do.

Plus, I get to wear jeans to work.

I am a Youth Minister.

Continue reading »]]> If dating makes you less like Jesus…you might be a fan. Harsh? Maybe. Truth? Yes. Will this article upset someone? Probably.

These last couple weeks our church started teaching a series called “Not A Fan.” Everything from our Sunday worship service, to our weekly connect groups, to even our student ministry is going through this series. And as I prep each week I find myself thinking, jotting down notes and marinating on what it means to be a completely committed follower of Jesus in every area of MY life. What areas of my life are or have been off limits to Jesus? So when it comes to students I’ve thought about the same thing in their life. What areas of their life are off limits to Jesus? One of those areas, I believe, is dating.

I am convinced most teenagers today are jumping into a “dating” relationship much faster than ever before and I’m convinced social media is playing a big role. Many students are beginning “dating” relationships within days after meeting the person via Facebook. Yet they have not met face to face nor do they really know anything about the other person accept for what they see on Facebook. How much do you really know about a person from Facebook? Does their profile tell you everything about them? Could they be hiding something? Making some things up? They may say on Facebook they are a Christian, but here’s my question; are they really and how do you know if the extent of your relationship with them has been limited to social media contact and no interaction in the real world around their friends and family? I’m convinced many teenagers today put dating in that “off limits” category.

For many once the dating relationship begins everyone knows because it quickly becomes “Facebook official. Students are defining and labeling their relationship on social media because many students today are struggling with having real relationships with family or others and so the “Facebook official” becomes a sense of security. Here’s the thing though, teenagers need to learn and understand their security of their relationship with Jesus first. They need to be satisfied in their relationship with God, and satisfied being single before thinking about dating.

Phil 4:11-13 – I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

The secret of not chasing continually for a girlfriend or boyfriend, is to be content by relying on God. Don’t allow your pursuit of a boyfriend or girlfriend to be placed above living to please and worship God. If your focus is more on pursuing a dating relationship and not your relationship with God, you’ve just made dating an idol.

So, my dear friends, flee from the worship of idols. – 1 Corinthians 10:14

We are to flee from the worship of idols… But what is idolatry? Idolatry is valuing anything or anyone more than we value God.

We all have flaws and God sent his son to live and die because he loves us. You and I were created and  are loved by God. You don’t need a love of another person to be complete. First realize that your relationship with Jesus is what completes you, then you are ready to think about a dating relationship with another person.

Just because your friends are jumping into dating without getting to know the person doesn’t mean you have to do the same. Wait for God to send the right person along and get to know them the right way. And don’t play games, just be honest about what you think and feel. Have people get to know YOU, not the Facebook you.

Here are some things you should be looking for when pursuing a dating relationship. Are they passionate about God? Do they have a desire to serve God or are do they expect others to serve them? Do they put more focus on what THEY can get out of the relationship or do they have your best interests first? Do they desire to be in God’s Word daily and allow it to transform and rule their life? Do they take time to talk to you and encourage you in your relationship with Jesus? Also, you don’t want to get involved with someone who thinks they know better than God! Do they have a healthy respect for your parents? All too often I see guys not respecting the parents of the girl they are dating. Here’s a tip girls; if the guy you’re dating or want to date respects your parents and their rules then he’s putting what’s best for you first. If he doesn’t respect your parents, his focus is on himself and what he can get from you.

Get to know each other BEFORE you make it official. Become friends first. Spend time outside the virtual world of social media and meet face to face in group settings with other friends. See how they interact in group settings because what you see may not be the person you thought you knew from Facebook. If they treat you or others like garbage in group settings then they aren’t the person you should be dating. If they pursue to be physical in anyway with you (yes, even kissing) on your first face to face interaction (typically guys are pursuing this area), they are not thinking of you, they are only thinking of themselves, and they aren’t the person you should dating. If they can’t or don’t talk about spiritual things, share scripture, or pray with you or for you but instead talk more about how they miss you, need you, and you’re the only one for them and that MUST see you as well as point out to you multiple time throughout your day what they think of your physical looks above who you are as a person then they aren’t the person you should dating. If they are trying to change you, especially your looks, well…don’t even waste your time with them. God created you as a masterpiece and if they can’t see that then they have no right to be pursing you. If they aren’t willing to be held accountable by someone older like your youth pastor or family friend who has a relationship with Jesus, as well as your parents then they aren’t the person you should be dating.

Dating isn’t wrong, but God expects you to be mature about it and put him first above the person your dating. My partner John talks about how dating, for many students, is a distraction from growing in their relationship with Jesus in his article “Relational Resolve in Dating.” If you’re a new believer your focus right now should be falling madly in love with Jesus, not pursing a dating relationship as it CAN become a distraction. Wait to date once you have yourself firmly planted in your relationship with Jesus. Pray and ask God to direct you to the person He wants you to date. Let God be your match maker because He has the perfect person set aside for you.

If you’re a completely committed follower of Jesus your conduct and attitude about dating will reflect Jesus not you. If dating makes you less like Jesus, then you’re not ready to date. David Platt recently posted the following on Twitter; “Beware self-gratification…the temptation to fulfill your wants apart from God’s will.”(Mt. 4:3-4) If you’re focus on dating is to fulfill YOUR wants then you’re not focused on God’s will and you aren’t ready to date.

Below are some articles posted by the X2J crew that discuss the topic of dating, boys, girls, etc.

Relational Resolves in Dating – John Curiale

Distractions: For Girls Only! – Why do we craves boys attention – Janel Weyant

Distractions on the Internet – Brian Ford

Guys + Girls =? Confusion? – Janel Weyant

Continue reading »]]>

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

Making a major transition in ministry to another state means everything is different. The local news channel personalities are not what you’re used to listening to and seeing every night at 11:00. Radio stations even seem to play different music as you drive unfamiliar streets finding your way around. The barista at the Starbuck’s isn’t your regular barista that knows your name and what you drink and the regulars are not…your regulars. And on a night you’re expecting God to move through your new students, something doesn’t go quite right and you’re left feeling discouraged and defeated.

Yes, everything is different and sometimes even a little scary. I doubt for a moment that any of you who have had to make a major transition in your ministry and life can say you never felt a little scared of what’s ahead, unsure of yourself and slightly discouraged no matter how long you’ve been in ministry.

It’s these scary, frustrating, discouraging and sometimes confusing moments that I have the privilege to share my own experiences with youth workers from all over the country who are facing transition in the ministry. For my second year in a row I’ll be leading the Surviving Transitions Connect Group at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference being held in Louisville, KY from March 2nd to the 5th.

This year I’m particularly excited about it as I’ll have my wife by my side for the first time. She’ll be available to share her experiences about surviving transitions from the stand point of the spouse.

How does transition impact our families? So often when we talk about transition in ministry we only focus on how it impacts us in our ministry, but we rarely discuss the impact it has in our homes and on our families.

So as I prepare to lead the Surviving Transitions in Ministry Connecting Group at this year’s SYMC, I’ve been giving a lot of thought about the personal care of youth workers that are in transition based on my own experiences. I am looking forward to connecting with you and other youth workers who are or will be facing transition of some sort in ministry to hear their stories, pray and be an encouragement to them.

Continue reading »]]> Are you taking time to ask WHY, not just WHERE? I believe the biggest mistake a youth worker can make when planning a mission trip for their students is by NOT asking WHY.

As youth worker’s, we’ve all received in the mail brochures and postcards from short-term mission organizations asking us to bring our teens to their mission trip. And for many of you, you’re still looking for ideas as to where you’ll take your students this year. As a youth pastor my primary focus is leadership and youth spiritual development and my desire for each youth worker and student in our ministry regarding missions is for them to truly understand the WHY of mission trips and not just the WHERE.

When I speak to youth workers about planning their summer mission trips many times the conversation starts with; “I’m praying about where, when,and how much.” It’s not often I hear; “I’m praying about why to go on a mission trip.” Of course location is very important as you don’t want to load your students on a plane bond for Afghanistan to minister to the Taliban hiding in caves (though they need Jesus also). I’m sure you’d have parents knocking down your office door because they want to “have a chat” with you. But location and cost should not be the first and only factor when planning your mission trip. You need to consider why you’re taking your students on a mission trip.

Recently I had a conversation with a youth leader who told me they’re going to Haiti for their youth mission trip. When I asked why he chose Haiti and why he’s doing a mission trip he responded with, “it’s where all the youth groups from our denomination go.” Basically he chose the location and the reason why for one reason…it’s what everyone else is doing. This is just one of many answers I’ve received when I asked youth workers for their reason “why” on the subject of mission trips.

So why should I take my youth group on a mission trip?

• Unity: As your students are placed in situations that pushes them to work together it builds strong bonds that carry over once you return home. Jesus’ desire for your students is that they will become unified as a powerful team as they unleash the gospel wherever they go. When your students are united they will pray for others, encourage others, work together in humility, and glorify God. “I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” – John 17:23

• Compassion: Mission trips are a great way to have your students become more aware of the needs of others. Whether overseas or right in their own backyard there are people with spiritual and physical needs. Their motivation for going on a mission trip should NOT be based on location (“they have awesome beaches!”). They should be motivated by compassion. Jesus knew that people needed what he brought them, both the message of the kingdom and physical needs; he came for our good, not his own. “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.” – Matthew 9:36

• Grow Deep: Many times I have heard stories of teens that shared how God became more real and personal to them as a result of the mission trip. Also, many teens have put their faith in Christ as a result of attending a mission trip. “Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” – Colossians 2:7. Will your mission trip have a spiritual impact on your students? Will they come home talking about how God worked in their own personal relationship with Jesus? Or will they only talk about the beaches, the hangout time and/or the site seeing?

• Change their View: Whether overseas or stateside, your student’s will experience a new culture and their view on the world and perspective on life will change and grow. “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” – Acts 1:8. The media, schools and yes…sometimes even churches can paint a wrong picture of the world. Our teens need to see the world as Jesus does, a world with lost and broken hearts. For most teens their perspective of the world is based on bottled water instead of muddy water gathered from miles away, violence is seen only on TV shows and videos games instead of on their streets, and bibles can be freely bought in a variety of colors and designs instead of smuggled in a variety of methods and people.

• Kingdom Building: “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” – Matthew 28:19-20. Some times we can lose track as to the purpose of a mission trip. If we’re not careful it can become all about meeting physical needs, but at the core of every mission trip we are called to bring the gospel wherever we go. We can build houses, collect food and clothes, but if the gospel is not presented then our mission has failed. This is why at TIMS we say; “The physical work is secondary to the primary spiritual work of the gospel.”

Location and cost are important but I believe if we start focusing first on the “why,” God will honor our decision making process by sending us where he calls, whether it’s overseas or stateside. So as you start planning your youth mission trips begin by asking “why” before thumbing through the pile of brochures looking for the right place.

Continue reading »]]> In my last 3 years as a youth pastor- I would say the number 1 killer of revival in the students heart’s would be getting into a relationship with the opposite sex, second to that would be the strong desire to be in one.

Let me say this first- I don’t want to sound like I’m against all kind of dating or desiring to be married someday- otherwise I would be a hypocrite- being someone who dated in their freshman year of college and 4 years later married their girlfriend.

Here is the problem- when I see someone passionate about pursuing Jesus with all their heart and then the certain “someone” comes along- whether in physical form or in desire- the passion for God seems to wean.  Why?  Is that the way God designed it?  No.

Here is the scenario- a student’s life will change and God will give them the encounter of a lifetime and heal them from their past hurts, set them free from old habits, hear Gods voice for the first time, desire for worship, praying for others, sharing their faith, and spending time with Jesus daily!  Yep revival at its finest!

Here is usually how the conversation goes once I find out the relationship has begun on Facebook.  Let’s say their name is Peter.

Me- so I hear your in a relationship.
Peter- yep, she is amazing.  I know what your going to say.  It probably won’t work out, right?
Me- not necessarily.  Have you even prayed about it?  Is she a Christian?  Do you have relationship resolves?  Does she have the same values?  Does she share the same passion you have for Jesus- that you had for the last few months?
Peter- I think so.  Well actually I’m not sure?  Well if she isn’t, I’m sure I can fix that!  I can just help her know God like I do.
Me- I know it’s a little bold- but what is your parents relationship like?  And what’s hers like?
Peter-  why?  They are divorced.  Why does this matter?  And hers are about to be. They are always fighting and want out.  I can’t believe it- they even go to church occasionally.

It’s sad to watch students follow in the footsteps of their parents and the culture.  Why do we date?  Is it to fill a need, a void we have, a promise to ourselves to never be lonely?

And how much of the dating relationships are even healthy?  Godly? Inspiring? Or Pure?

Do we have healthy relational resolves?  What are our standards and do they align with what God says?

If we do not have resolves, I see how the devil will use dating as an immediate distraction to someone’s passionate relationship with Jesus!  I see it time and time again.

And when you lovingly confront them about the relationship in the context of discipleship- the person flares up in pride- saying they got it under control.  We will be together and I can maintain this relationship with God and her.

And that rarely happens!  Which is God’s grace!

I believe that in order to have a healthy God-honoring relationship with the other sex- you will need relational resolves to guide you throughout the relationship.   Let’s start with hunger.  I believe you will also need humility, grace, honor, and excellence to be successful!

If people are beginning a relationship based on a human need- what they truly have is  nothing more than a human blanky comforting them in their neediness.

I will be real bold here!  If you are going into a relationship not satisfied in God- the relationship will fail.  We can’t look to people to fulfill our most basic need- to feel loved, accepted, fulfilled, purpose, and significance.  Only God can meet those needs.

And if we go into the relationship trying to get our needs fulfilled by the significant other- then that will produce insecurity in us.  And being insecure can be dangerous in the relationship because you are trying to fulfill a need they can’t fill.   And expecting that from them will cause strain on the relationship and produce insecurity in them.

Be satisfied in Jesus!  He will meet every need you have.  He will never reject you, he will always affirm his love for you, and he will always give you purpose to keep moving in life.

People forget that Jesus is actually a person.  He is someone you talk to. All those thoughts you have roaming around in your head can be turned into conversation with Jesus- instead of anxiety or worry.

When you spend time with Jesus daily- he will give you the confidence and security you need.  You won’t have to go and look for others to fulfill your need.  Allow Jesus to be that significant other in your life long before you get into a dating relationship.

That is why I believe that every relationship must be marked with HUNGER.  A hunger for God (for both partners).  Not just one.  Missionary dating (winning the other to Christ) will never work.  God says not to be “yoked” together with an unbeliever.  Do we trust His words in this?

When my wife and I were dating I would draw out a triangle and put God on the top and put my wife and I on each side of the bottom.  I would draw arrows moving from each person toward God and draw and arrow moving toward each other.  My prayer everyday would be- “God I pray that Nicole and I grow closer to you in love and passion and also that we grow together with you in love.”

Almost 12 years later- God has honored that simple prayer!  We had hunger for God first- a huge desire to know Him and spend time with Him. And that love and passion for God overflowed in our love and passion for each other!

When my wife and I were dating our desire for God got greater!  We knew we needed God more than ever because of the stat of divorce among Christians.  If we wanted to go the long haul- we needed marriage mentors (even when dating our freshman year- 4 years before we got married).

God led us to many great marriage mentors and also led us to couples that we didn’t want to be like.  We learned so much about each other and about God’s heart for marriage.  Our mentors throughout the 4 years challenged us and were able to speak into our lives (yes, even stuff we didn’t want to hear)!

I’m amazed at the pride today when people try to share the truth with people (even out of love and right motives).  How do you expect to grow in your relationship with God, others, and in your relationship with your significant other if you can’t hear correction or receive advice?

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  HUMILITY is key to healthy relationships (and our next resolve). We need to find a marriage mentor or someone that will speak truth into our lives so that we can stay healthy and submit to their authority in your life.

In college while I was dating Nicole, I met with my college pastor once a week to pray and talk about life.  He would ask me honest questions about my relationship with Nicole.  I remember one time he spoke boldly in my life about worship.  He asked how much I was getting out of worship when I had my arm around Nicole.  I was a little taken back by it at first.  But then he explained that it was a distraction to both us and others and it also sends a message to others.  I got humble and received this truth.  And that year we ended up having so much breakthrough in our worship!  We realized there was a time and place for physical affection.

We were hungry to know more about God’s heart for marriage and about honoring Him and honoring each other in it.  Our desire to please God led us to submit to the authority of others who have been in the trenches of marriage and have endured the challenges.  We were always surrounded by wise couples who spoke into our lives.

That is what it means to HONOR those couples who have gone before you.  We would tell them how much we appreciate their influence in our lives.

I remember when Nicole and I were dating, we had joined a financial class on stewarding God’s money and a marriage class.  We were the youngest couple there!  Our hunger to learn and grow brought us to these classes.

We told the other couples we want to learn from them- but they in turn said -we want to learn from you.  They were so impressed.  They all said- if we would have had this class when we were first dating- we wouldn’t be here!   Wow, what a lesson!

Not only did we want to honor those couples before us but Nicole and I also wanted to HONOR each other.  We both believed that each other was their own person with their own boundaries.  We were learning to be One- yet we were 2 different people pursuing God.   This was important when my wife would say- hey, John I can’t talk right now, because I just need some time with God first.  I would honor her boundary as a person.

So many couples use manipulation and anger/guilt to control  their partners.  We have to honor them.  And honoring them means honoring their boundaries and appropriate space.  This is why you have to be secure as a person and know who you are in Christ!

The 4th relational resolve in dating relationships is GRACE.  This means receiving grace and giving grace.  You won’t be able to give what you don’t have.

Your relationships must be founded on grace.  It is grace that empowers us to live right and be in healthy relationships.  We mess up all the time as humans and our partners need an atmosphere of grace to live in.  The opposite of that is harshness, judgement, and powerlessness- an environment of destruction.

Nicole and I have resolved to make our house an atmosphere of grace!   We realize how much mercy and grace God has given us that it would only make sense to give it to each other.

It makes everyday life in our house easier to live in.  It created a cycle of freedom in our thinking.  The grace Nicole would give me would free me up to live in a more loving, honoring way toward her.  But I knew that I didn’t have to be afraid to fail.  I didn’t have to live walking on eggshells around her- because if I messed up- I knew I would receive forgiveness and grace!

This grace and love from God and my spouse would give me the power to pursue the relationship with EXCELLENCE.  This environment of grace, honor, love and humility empowered us to live a life of influence among many!   In other words, God used us to inspire other couples (older than us)!

One year when we were dating, our pastors (and marriage mentors) asked us to speak at one of the marriage conferences they put on that year in the community.  Other couples in our church felt that we should speak because we had lived these resolves before them- and that was inspiring them to a higher standard of marriage and dating in their own relationships.

So if you are pursuing a relationship right now or you are already in one- ask yourself- do you have certain values guiding your relationship?  What are they.  If not, may I suggest some?  Hunger, humility, honor, grace, and excellence!

I believe your relationship with God and with your significant other can be fulfilling and life changing if you have these resolves in place.   Your passion for God should never weaken when you are dating someone- it should be the opposite- it should only get more intense!

When I’m weak, God’s grace allows Nicole to be strong and she encourages me to win the race!  She is secure enough in her relationship with God to want me to win strong!

Continue reading »]]> How To Spend Time Alone With God

Every great relationship requires time in order to grow, and it’s the same for our friendship with Jesus. God wants us to spend time with him! Here are some ideas to help you connect with God on your own:

1. Choose a TIME when you are at your best. If you are a morning person, spend time with God in the morning. The idea is to be with God when we are most alert and ready to hear him speak.

2. Pick a PLACE where you won’t be distracted. Our world is FILLED with interruptions. Disconnect from the world…Facebook will still be there when you are done.

3. Set a GOAL that’s realistic. Building the habit of a regular quiet time is difficult, so start with what you can handle. You may start with five minutes a day, two times a week. Eventually, it would be great to spend time with God once a day!

Ok. So. Now What?

Pray.

Prayer can be defined as “simple communication with God.” You don’t need to know anything special to be able to talk to God. Anyone can! So share what’s on your heart. When we pray, we have more peace and less anxiety. We find more wisdom and make better decisions. God wants to hear what you have to say, and he wants to speak to you, too!

Read your Bible.

The Bible is God’s love letter to us. By reading it, we learn how God wants us to live and his purpose for our lives. Sometimes it’s good to read just a few verses, other times you’ll want to read multiple chapters. Do what’s best for you. We suggest you begin with the Gospel of Mark, so you can learn about Jesus. After that, check out Genesis, then Philippians, and John. After that, if you need some more suggestions, ask your small group leader or another leader in HSM.

Journal

Express your thoughts, feelings, learnings, prayers, questions and anything else about your spiritual life. Writing helps us explore what we’re learning from God. If you don’t have a journal, we’ll gladly give you one at Impact on the weekends.

Continue reading »]]> I can’t believe it’s almost 2012. It seems like 2011 flew by way to fast.

Remember thinking at the beginning of 2011, “Wow, okay, lets do this!” You had plans you were going to do, promises you were going to keep, and you were going to live for God all year long! Well, to tell you the truth, I didn’t finish all those plans I made, I didn’t keep all those promises and it was a bumpy ride for God and me. But guess what? I can say I overcame it. I got through my graduation, I got through my first semester at college, and I overcame some personal struggles of my own.

So what did you overcome this year? Think for a minute and pat yourself on the back if you overcame something that you were fighting, if you haven’t, you have this year to conquer it. With God, all things are possible, even the hardest things that you’re having problems with. Nothing is too hard for Jesus. He is also a very forgiving God and it doesn’t matter what you’ve done this year, He will always accept you whenever and wherever you are.

Remember as 2011 swings past and says goodbye that you praised God even when things went wrong. Learn from the hard times and keep pressing on.

“Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:13-14 

Making a New Years resolution is so cliché. Instead of making a resolution let’s make a promise to God. Make a promise to try to share your faith with one family member who doesn’t know Jesus or maybe to a school friend. But most importantly, make a promise to yourself about staying close to God and praying everyday. I know it’s hard with a busy schedule. Some of you will be graduating this year, getting jobs, getting a driver’s license, just starting high school. As stressful as it will be, remember you need a relationship with God and to be close to Him. When you do, you will be more confident and ready to face whatever comes your way this year.

On this day (New Years Eve) my promise to God is that I will stay strong in my faith, even if the world looks down on me, and help kids, youth, and even adults find Jesus.

So what’s your promise going to be for 2012?