Anywho, here’s a list of features you probably already heard about, and a short list of features that may never make headlines.

Probably heard about these:

• Notification Center. More notifications presented in different ways. See what’s going on today or take a peek at tomorrow, see all of your app notifications, or check out the ones you missed.
• Control Center. Quickly access toggles for Airplane mode, Wifi, Bluetooth, Do Not Disturb, screen rotation, AirDrop, and AirPlay. AND, quickly access controls for volume, Music player, flashlight, timer, calculator, and camera. It’s really similar to the Cydia apps, Auxo and SB Settings.
• AirDrop. Share photos (and potentially other files) via AirDrop (over Bluetooth and Wifi).
• iTunes Radio. It’s like Pandora and Spotify only it’s called iTunes Radio (and it’s ad-free for iTunes Match subscribers).
• “True” Multitasking with previews. Apple said they have figured out how to prioritize tasks and keep them running in the background. Their solution looks a lot like the sliding panels from webOS.
• Camera App. Now you can take square photos and use live filters. Or, you can just keep using Instagram.
• Dynamic Clock. The clock shows the actual time and the second hand moves. Just turn on zoom, triple pinch, and squint away!
• Photos app redesign. Instead of having a big long collage of photos, the new Photos app groups your pics into “moments” and allows for better sharing options (including AirDrop, Flickr, and Vimeo).
• Safari redesign. Added iCloud keychain for passwords and credit cards, a password generator, changed the layout of open pages, and removed the limit on the number of open pages (among other enhancements).
• Auto-update. Apps get updated automatically. Great if the update is supposed to be pushed out, bad if an update gets posted that isn’t supposed to get downloaded.
• Unlimited pages in folders. Yep, add as many apps as you’d like to a folder that fits 9 on a page.
• Block calls. You can block people from texting or calling you. Sorry mom!
• This list is getting too long. Go read an even longer one at GottaBeMobile.

Probably didn’t hear about these:

More things to do with photos from the photos app.

Vimeo is available, too

Notifications for AMBER and Emergency alerts.

Not looking forward to receiving one, but hey, good to have.

App Store Wishlist.

Finally!

NO VIBRATE ON SILENT!

Seriously, it took 7 updates for this?

You can put Newsstand in a folder.

Do people use these apps?

iCloud video sharing

[imagine a screenshot of a video being uploaded to iCloud. Pretty sweet, eh?]

Couple more pennies of thought

First. I’m glad to see the new (to) iOS 7 features. Sure, other systems have had similar features for a while, but iOS has ‘em now and that’s pretty cool. I’m not huge on the icons, but they’re a step in the…errr…a direction. Apple is thinking more about how iOS devices will integrate with desktops and laptops (and dare I say the PC). This is both promising and welcome.

Second. iOS 7 is available for developers (like I’m trying to be b/c I’m trying to make my books into iOS apps), and won’t be available for the general public until the fall. So if you do go to a site like imzdl.com, purchase a UDID registration, and install iOS 7 BETA you are not allowed to complain about any app not working because iOS 7 is in BETA! If you want some of the features and don’t mind jailbreaking your phone check out Lifehacker. If you just want to see the features for yourself go visit Apple’s iOS 7 preview page.

Got thoughts on iOS 7? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

post-run

I’ve been running barefoot for coming up on 4 years now. I’ve run hundreds of miles. I’ve run in the frigid cold as a present, the Grinch, and a Christmas tree. I’ve run the Army Ten Miler, have completed a half, and recently ran a full sans zapatos. I’ve run into problems before, but for the most part I’ve run issue-free when going barefoot.

The other day I went out for an easy barefoot 5 miler and the end result was anything but typical.

Let me back up a few days. On Saturday I ran 6.66 miles barefoot at 7:48 pace. It was a cool morning over concrete sidewalk and bricks. The only hiccup was a piece of glass that shot through my arch around mile 4. A little blood, but my running wasn’t impacted.

I ran a few more times including a 5.25 mile run in Vibrams at 7:28 pace two days prior to my barefoot 5. I was feeling good both physically and mentally.

On the day of the run I met up with my buddy, Jim, with the intent of 5 miles at 8 pace. The sun was shining and the temps were in the upper 80s. Nothing I hadn’t done before.

As we began to run I could feel the heat of the greenway against my bare feet. Prior to the first mile I could feel my feet developing a blister. This was extremely odd. I stopped to check and sure enough there was a little blister beneath the callous on the mound of my left foot. Another 3/4 mile later and I could feel blisters forming on both of my “ring” toes. Again, I stopped to check and found a nice red blister on each toe.

Figuring it would only get worse, I opted to turn around shy of the halfway mark. By mile 2.25 I could barely walk. I now had blisters on both heels, deep beneath my callouses. Jim gave me his socks and the two of us “ran” back to the cars. With a quarter mile to go I had to shut it down and walk gingerly back to the finish.

In all my years of running barefoot, I’ve never had a barefoot run that prevented me from running. My only conclusion is this. The heat of the day warmed up the greenway. As my feet hit the pavement the warmth softened my skin. Our pace and the loosened skin resulted in blistering.

What’s to learn from this experience? If it’s crazy hot and your feet haven’t been accustomed to running in the conditions, go slow or opt for Vibrams (or shoes).

Here’s a shot of my feet the morning after. It’s nothing crazy, but man did they hurt.

Got thoughts on running barefoot? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

SON: How about Jupiter?

He was, of course, referring to a trip we took to a local observatory where he was able to view the planet Jupiter through a telescope.

ME: Sure buddy. What else should we include?

SON: The hot sun. And rockets. And astronauts. And the moon. And stars. And dinosaurs.

ME: Dinosaurs?

SON: No. That’s silly. There are no dinosaurs in space.

So that was that. Our next literary endeavor was to be a book about space we’d aptly name My First Space Book. 

The two of us spent weeks researching everything about the solar system. He wanted to fly in a rocket, but said an astronaut should drive because he was too little. There had to be smoke and fire. And we need to include the dwarf planet, Pluto, because it is a “tiny baby planet.”

Putting it together

Like the other two books, I created My First Space Book using iPad apps iDraw and Brushes for most of the the illustrations; Dropbox and iCloud to keep things organized, and Book Creator for text and iBook assembly. However, because I wanted to make the planets more realistic, I relied more heavily on the desktop version of Photoshop (mainly for its 3D capabilities).

A few tutorials (and several days) later and I figured out how to take NASA’s free planet textures and wrap them around a 3D sphere in Photoshop. The ringed planets (at least the ones I included) took a bit more work, but eventually I was able to create them with the help of a few online tutorials.

The last part was making the book more playful. My son really enjoyed the fun facts associated with each planet. My task was figuring out which one he liked best, and coming up with a way to present them on the page. To keep the book kid friendly, I opted to create an illustration to coincide with a single planet factoid, and use a fact sheet with more specific details that would make the book more useful for the bigger kids.

Publishing

Having learned from the first two books that I need to create my illustrations so they can fit into Kindle and iBook formats, publishing was a snap. The main thing to remember is, draw big first, and resize later.

I submitted the book to the Amazon Kindle Store and the iBookstore. It went live in the Kindle Store within 6 hours and was published to the iBookstore about a week later.

The final version

Have a look at a sample of the book below. If you like what you see be sure to grab it from the Amazon Kindle Store or iBookstore,  , review it, and tell your friends!

Download!

Click to start reading My First Space Book via the Amazon Kindle Store today (available for Kindle Devices, Kindle Cloud Reader, and the Kindle app for iPad and Android)

Click to start reading My First Space Book via the  iBookstore (iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, and iPad mini)

A big thanks (again) to my son for the inspiration and criticism, and my wife (again) for putting up with the process of writing (and for translating the book).

Got thoughts on My First Space Book? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Take a moment and hug your mom (or Skype with her if she’s not close by).

Got thoughts on Mother’s Day? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Today, my smoking hot wife and I celebrate seven years.

Join me as I tell the love of my life and the mother of my son, feliz anniversario!

This is a post from y2kemo

Day 1: I walked the campground and nearby trails with my dogs followed by fishing with a little luck catching sunfish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSQilJENep8

As the sunset I warmed by the campfire to replace the night chill, and took in the full moon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXWEXq7CpBE

Day 2: Essentially a repeat of Day 1. After dinner I threw a tree stump on the fire and sat back to relax. About 15 minutes later an Eastern Bark Centipede popped out and frantically searched for a way out of the firepit. Knowing that some centipedes wield a powerful bite, I lured him off the stump with a piece of wood and turned him loose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VwqNgPv_Kw

Day 3: I moved to a different campground, went for a run up a mountain I ran a marathon on a few months ago, made dinner and shot the breeze. In the morning, as we packed, I rigged up an impromptu rope swing for my niece, and the lot of us closed out our trip swinging and spinning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ys9YOj5LmoQ

Be it by myself or with friends, camping out of a car or backpacking across a mountain range, I love spending time outdoors.

Got thoughts? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

My First Fire Truck Book and Mi Primer Libro de Camiones de Bomberos are great read alouds for toddlers, and both are awesome first books for beginning readers learning to read English or Spanish!

Descripción del Libro en Espanól

¡III UUU III UUU III UUU! ¡Ahí viene el camión de bomberos!

Mi Primer Libro de Camiones de Bomberos es un libro informativo infantil bellamente ilustrado para niños que aman los camiones de bomberos y otros vehículos de extinción de incendios. Mi Primer Libro de Camiones de Bomberos es ideal para leer en voz alta y como primer acercamiento de los niños a la lectura.

Incluye 23 páginas de ilustraciones y descripciones de camiones de bomberos y lo que hace cada uno de ellos.

¡Responde al llamado de los bomberos y aprendamos juntos!

Where to Purchase

The two books are available in the Amazon Kindle store and can be viewed on the following devices:

Kindle Fire
Kindle Fire HD
Kindle Cloud Reader
Kindle for iPad
Kindle for Android

My First Fire Truck Book (Kindle Store link)

Mi Primer Libro de Camiones de Bomberos (Kindle Store link)

Got thoughts on My First Fire Truck Book? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

This is a post from y2kemo

We did have moments of civility. And when we did, we talked about our lives outside of work. Traveling, the housing market, programming, idioms, and our kids. I met her son when he was a wee fella, and welcomed in her second child around the same time she welcomed in mine.

Then the unthinkable happened.

On Monday, Yan was murdered by her husband.

Since learning of her death I have been holding back the tears. Yan was an awesome person. She was a great colleague. She was a great mother. She was a great friend. And she will be missed.

Rest in peace Master Wu

This is a post from y2kemo

Boston Marathon bombing via nydailynews.com

Around 3:30PM this afternoon I started receiving a string of text messages. Concerned that something was wrong with my wife or child, I glanced down and peeked at my phone. “Boston Marathon…WTF?” the first message read. The next several messages asked me if I was OK, if I was in Boston, and if any of my friends were in Boston.

Given the range of people that were sending me messages I assumed something was up. So I got up, left the meeting, and Googled “Boston Marathon.”

WTF indeed.

Immediately I thought of a friend whose 70-year-old dad was running the race. Did he make it? Was he safe? I started thinking about other runners I knew who were running. Were they OK? Surely they finished by 4:09. Then again, it is Boston. I sent out inquires and waited.

As I did, I began to think of my 9/11 experience. I attempted to make connections between that day and today. I tried to provide a rationale for the violence. The Boston Marathon was a world event being held on Patriot’s Day on tax day in a city where one of the 9/11 flights originated. I thought of the thwarted Times Square bombing attempt. Could these factoids be related? Does it matter?

Then there are the emotions. To be honest, the bombings and those responsible do not make me angry. They do not make me vengeful, or hateful or filled with rage. No, they fill me with disappointment and sadness. Disappointed in the fraction of humanity that felt it necessary to convey a message through violence. Sadness, not only for them, but for what will inevitably follow—more humans behaving badly to “get even” with humans who already behaved badly.

Then there were images which filled me with hope. If you look at the photos and videos taken just after the bombings you will see random people acting selflessly as they risk their lives to help the victims. That is how people act when humanity is at its worst.

Every marathoner knows how much work it is to go the distance. I only hope the good of humanity is willing to put in the effort to run the good race.

This is a post from y2kemo

Almost as soon as the book was finished my son started talking about writing another book about fire trucks. He started naming off truck after truck. Who am I to discourage a child from reading and writing. So, we set off researching fire trucks and other types of firefighting vehicles.

After a week or so we had a list of vehicles. I laid some sketches on the ground and let him put them in order for how he’d like them to appear in the book. Then, after he and I talked about each vehicle, I asked him what each truck should do, and he told me exactly what he wanted them to do. As for the characters…

SON: Where’s the fireman?

ME: I don’t have one yet.

SON: Why?

ME: Because I haven’t decided on one yet.

SON: Why?

ME: Because you haven’t told me his name.

SON: Fireman Joe!

And that was that. Fireman Joe was bebeJosito’s co-star in our book.

Putting it together
Much like I did with My First Train Book, I created My First Fire Truck Book almost entirely on the iPad with the apps iDraw, Brushes, and Photoshop Touch for the illustrations; Dropbox and iCloud to keep things organized, and Book Creator for text and iBook assembly.

If I drew something that my son couldn’t recognize, I would either fix it to his liking, or scratch the drawing completely. He wasn’t too tough on me, though he did have suggestions for Fireman Joe’s helmet.

Publishing
I published the first book and its Spanish translation on both the iBookstore and the Kindle Store. This time around I wanted to add some interactivity to the iBook so I’m holding off on publishing to the iBookstore until I can figure out the best way to do this be it iBooks Author or Book Creator. That being said, the book is only available in the Kindle Store until I can get the iBook version finalized. (That’s your cue to go and download it!)

Celebrating
The day we published the book it just so happened that a local fire station was having a fundraiser. So, to celebrate, my son and I ate hot dogs and played on fire trucks.

The final version
Have a look at the book below. If you like what you see be sure to download it, review it, and tell your friends!

Download!
Click to start reading My First Fire Truck Book today (available for Kindle Devices, Kindle Cloud Reader, and the Kindle app for iPad and Android)

A big thanks (again) to my son for the inspiration and criticism, and my wife (again) for putting up with the process of writing (and for translating the book).

Got thoughts on My First Fire Truck Book? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

On my first try I made the perfect poached egg. Since then, I have repeated the process and can now enjoy Eggs Benedict without having to hit up a culinary establishment. The worst part? It is so friggin’ easy to make poached eggs I’m kickin’ myself in the pants for not trying sooner.

Now it’s your turn. Break out the eggs, a pot, some vinegar, and a few other things and let’s get to the good part!

A Few Things
1-4 eggs
1 tsp. White vinegar (per cup of water)
1 salt (to taste)
Pot or skillet with a lid and enough room for 2″ of water
Slotted spoon
Mason jar lids (optional)
Cooking thermometer (optional)

The Good Part
1. Fill your pot or skillet with 2 inches of water, add white vinegar (one tsp. per cup of water), and let the water and vinegar boil. If you have mason jar lids, drop one in to the water for each egg you intend to poach. This will help the eggs keep their form.

2. Crack your eggs and place them into a measuring cup or small bowl, and set them aside so they can warm up to room temperature.

3. When the water reaches 180° SLOWLY pour your eggs into the water (or into the mason jar lids).

4. Remove the pot/skillet from the heat, cover, and set your timer for 4 minutes (or 2 minutes if you like your yolks runny).

5. When the timer goes off, use a slotted spatula to remove each egg from the water, and place them on a towel (so you can soak up excess water).

6. All that’s left is for you to decide how you want to enjoy your poached eggs. By themselves, on toast, in Egg McMuffin form, or as Eggs Benedict with Hollandaise sauce. That part is totally up to you.

From the Chef
Poaching eggs couldn’t be easier. Don’t feel intimidated by the process. It takes about as much time and a little more effort than making plain old scrambled or fried eggs. You just have to be willing to try.

Cooking Deets
Prep Time:  2 minutes
Cook Time: 4 minutes
Cost: $3
Difficulty: Easy
Taste: ★★★★★

If you end up poaching eggs as I’ve laid it out above, let me know how it goes. Leave a comment and/or photo below, or just send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT8rEg1vttU

My robot son attempts to rise up and take over humans one parent at a time only to be thwarted with a secret code. Look out mom, you’re next!

Got thoughts on my robot son? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Given my background in elementary education, my current status as new dad, and the fact that writing is hard, I decided I’d create a children’s book.

Having no idea what I needed, I figured that at minimum I needed stuff like words, pictures, tools, and a means to publish.

The Story
The story came together with relative ease. I asked my toddler-sized railfan son for input, and he suggested I write about trains. He told me the exact cars and the places they would travel. The hard part was taking our conversation and turning it into a story.

It took several attempts to get the story just right. I ran it by my niece, son, wife, sister, brother-in-law, son, and co-workers before I finally got it to its finished, edited form (and by edited form I mean my son wanted to read it over and over).

Pictures
I am not an artist. In fact, I have limited ability when it comes to doing anything of the graphic design variety. The Internet has loads of images, but one cannot simply walk into the Internet and use images for personal gain (ahem, copyright laws). There are stock photo sites that I could buy photos, but the sites often have limited and confusing licensing. So, the best alternative for me was to find images I could use as references, and create my illustrations by hand using digital tools.

Tools
I created My First Train Book almost entirely on the iPad. I used iDraw, Brushes, and Photoshop Touch for the illustrations; Dropbox and iCloud to keep things organized, and Book Creator for text and iBook assembly.

• iDraw for iPad (iTunes link). It’s a vector drawing and illustration app. Think of it as a portable Adobe Illustrator. It can export as PNG and save directly to Dropbox. Also integrates with iCloud so you can sync your iOS iDrawings with the desktop app.
• Brushes 3 for iPad (iTunes link). Paint by finger (or stylus), or pull in an image and re-create it. I purchased the in-app layer upgrade to add 10 layers to make outlining and filling easier. Exports as a PNG, JPEG, or PSD. Added bonus, Brushes saves to Dropbox.
• Photoshop Touch for iPad (iTunes link). A smaller version of the desktop counterpart. Really quite good and easy to use. Exports as a PNG, JPEG, or PSD and save directly to Dropbox.
• Book Creator (iTunes link). A really simple way to create iBooks on an iPad (square, landscape, and portrait books supported). Exports as PDF and ePUB. Saves to a number of places including Dropbox and the iBooks app. Downside, no easy way to add an audio version of an iBook.
• iDraw for Mac (iTunes link). Everything the iPad app can do and more. Seriously. Very easy, really intuitive, and feature-rich. As noted earlier, it syncs with iCloud which means you can access your desktop iDrawings on your iPad.
• Photoshop for desktop. I already had this one. I used it on occasion for my book, but relied mainly on the iPad version.

On occasion I used the iDraw and Photoshop desktop counterparts, but not often. As for hardware, I used a combo of Mac and PC, but mostly relied on an iPad and an iPad stylus.

Means to Publish: iBookstore and Amazon’s Kindle Store

Creating my book was the “easy” part. The harder part was figuring out how to publish it for multiple platforms.

iBookstore
I set up a paid iBookstore account via iTunes Connect. After a few days my application was approved. I downloaded and installed iTunes Publisher (Mac only and available only after the application is approved).

With iTunes Producer, I had to enter a bunch of stuff to describe the book. Stuff like metadata (publisher, categories, and description), a book sample, screenshots (that have particular dimensions), and an ISBN number. FYI, be sure to read the iTunes Publisher manual for filling out the details.

Quick aside. The ISBN isn’t necessary, but if you get one for your book it’ll be added to the international list (making it more visible). The downside to getting an ISBN is they aren’t cheap.

Once I had all the stuff, including an ISBN, I used iTunes Producer to deliver my book to Apple for review. Six days later my book was in the iBookstore. Even better still, I submitted the Spanish version of the book and it was published the same day as the English version even though it was submitted the night before. Excelente!

Amazon’s Kindle Store
To prepare my book for Amazon’s Kindle Store I had to reformat all of the pages as full-width images (1024 x 600), drop them into a fixed-width template, do a bunch of copying/pasting and a little bit of coding, and use a combination of Mobipocket eBook Creator and Kindle Previewer before I was able to upload my book for review.

The process was a huge pain in the rear. Partly because the iBook ePub didn’t convert well to mobi. And, partly because I had to dig deep into forums to come up with band-aid approaches until I eventually found the template of choice.

The Kindle Store made the English version of my book available within 8 hours. The Spanish version took about 16 hours.

The Book
To recap, to publish my first ebook it took time, tools, cash, and a lot of patience. Check out the samples below. If you like what you see please download:

My First Train Book (iBookstore | Amazon Kindle Store).

Or, if you’d rather have the Spanish version, check out:

Mi Primer Libro de Trenes (Amazon Kindle Store).

A big thanks to my son for the inspiration and criticism, and my wife for putting up with the process of writing (and for translating the book).

Got thoughts on My First Train Book or on writing and self-publishing ebooks? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Lucky for you I’ve gone through the process and documented it along the way, from start to finish. So, get your iOS device ready and let’s get cracking.

First off, you’ll be restoring your device, not upgrading. The difference being that you have to wipe your device clean and restore it using iTunes as opposed to just tapping the button in the Settings app to install the update over-the-air (OTA).

1.  Before starting, make sure you’re running the latest version of iTunes.

2.  Install PKGBackup ($9.99) from Cydia, set it up to save your back up to Dropbox, and run it to backup your apps. You can choose Sky Drive, Sugar Sync or to your contacts, but I favor Dropbox because it’s part of my workflow. When you backup, you have the option to backup everything, but I recommend just backing up the files associated with jailbreaking. This can be done by drilling down into the individual settings from within PKGBackup and selecting the files. For more on backing up using PKGBackup read their user guide.

3. Sync your iOS device with iTunes. Do the full backup. Depending on how much stuff you’ve got on your device or when you performed your last backup, this step could take a while. Don’t interrupt the backup. Let it do its thing and proceed to the next step.

4. Restore your iOS firmware. In iTunes, click the Restore button and let iTunes download and install the latest iOS. If you want a different firmare version visit Big Boss and download your desired iOS.

5. Don’t restore your device, jailbreak it.  Seriously, don’t restore your backup in iTunes yet.  Instead visit Evasi0n and download their jailbreaking program for your platform.  I used a Mac, but the process on a PC is quite similar.

6. Open the Evasi0n file and let it run. Evasi0n will ask you to plug in your iPhone, iPad, or iPod touch. This should be a no brainer, but I’m just telling you what you need to do.

7. Once Evasi0n recognizes your device click the Jailbreak button.

8. Evasi0n will run its course and eventually ask you to unlock your device and tap on the Jailbreak icon. The icon will be located on the last page of apps. Tap the icon ONCE (and once only).

9. Evasi0n will do a few more things and then your jailbreak will be complete.

10. Restore your backup from iTunes. Exit the Evasi0n program, plug your device in to your computer, fire up iTunes, and click Restore in iTunes. Choose your latest backup (or whatever backup  you want).

11. iTunes will restore everything (settings, contacts, notes, pictures, and apps) you backed up. Depending on the number of apps you have, this could take a while. Read some other blog posts and let it finish.

12.Fire up PKGBackup. On your device, open Cydia, click Manage Account, enter your credentials, click Installable Purchases, and select PKGBackup. Install the app. Respring and launch PKGBackup. Because you backed up and restored your device, PKGBackup will remember that you chose to save to Dropbox. All that’s left is for you to restore your Cydia backup.

13. Restore your Cydia PKGBackup. Tap View Restore then select your backup. Tap select, tap close, tap Restore, then reboot your device when prompted.

14. If you used a Cydia folder app like FolderEnhancer you’ll be prompted with the option to restore your layout or go with the default iOS layout. Choose Restore (unless you want the default).

That’s it. Your jailbroken device is now the way it was before you upgraded the iOS. Enjoy.

Got thoughts or tips on how to upgrade iOS and restore Cydia apps for jailbroken devices? Have additional tips to add or an experience to contribute? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Pilot Mountain

If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I’d love to run a trail marathon up and down a mountain in the dead of winter” then I have a race for you. It’s called the Pilot Mountain Payback, and you can expect your bum handed to you when you cross the finish line.

The course is a mixture of technical single track, rocky bridal trail, with a bit of roadway for good measure. There are six stream crossing, and just so you don’t get comfortable, calf-burning climbs and quad-busting descents (check out the elevation profile: 3,588′ gain and 3,584′ loss).

Well, because I tend not to consult common sense when choosing a race, I decided to sign up with a buddy of mine, John. Together we would conquer this little North Carolina hill.

Race Week

I was on my way back from a trip when I received an email from John with a photo of the forecast. Oh, looky there, snow. Whatever, forecasts change. Mid-week snow was out and sunshine was in. See! I told you. By Friday, snow was back in the picture as was sub-freezing temps. Doh! By race day the chance of snow dropped to 30% and the temps were predicted to be in the 30s. That’s more like it.

Race Day

Pre-race photo op

Up at 5:45AM, I was out the door an hour later wearing shorts, two shirts, a winter hat, Vibram Bikilas, Zensah compression leg sleeves, and gloves. I picked up John and we headed to the start line. An hour of mingling, getting rid of “extra baggage”, and we were seconds from the…wait, was that the gun?

Forty yards down the trail, and we were already crossing/dodging our first stream. For serious, I’ve got 4+ hours to go and I’d rather not start off with wet feet. Mission accomplished. Next up, a ridiculously steep incline, followed by a straightaway, then a single downhill trail.

The plan was for John and I to stick together until we reached the summit and then we’d part ways. Still, John insisted on me leaving him earlier. Probably because I kept telling him not to walk, or take shorter walk breaks (or what he calls “being pushy”).

“stairs” is a four-letter word

The first 5 miles weren’t that bad. Some hills, but nothing crazy. I’d even say they were pleasant. Once we passed the 5 mile aid station we hit the 2.25 stretch labeled as “Strenuous.” Holy F$%*! Strenuous was a misnomer. That bit of the marathon went straight up a rock-covered trail where every step was one step away from snapping my ankle. Needless to say, we walked/jogged the duration.

Thinking it couldn’t get worse, but knowing we hadn’t reached the summit yet, we made our way up another rocky section, followed by a dirt trail until we hit the stairs. Yes, stairs. Let me pause for a moment. If park service felt it necessary to put stairs on the side of the mountain it’s because the incline is so insane that walking up a flat surface is just not a good idea. Long story longer, we walked the stairs.

Eventually, we reached the aid station at mile 12.5 just before the summit, and after an hour and fifty-five minutes of climbing. We loaded up on fruit and cookies, grabbed a beverage, filled our bottles, and hit the trail to the loop around the knob.

Some 40 minutes later we lapped the summit and were on our way down. And by down I mean rock steps precariously placed at an outrageous decline causing my knees to shoot back into my legs with every step. BTW, I just grew my toenail back after losing it nine months earlier. It’s now holding back the blood caused by blunt force trauma on the “quad-busting descent.” RIP toenail.

Eating an orange mid-race

At the bottom, we hooked back up with the dirt trail that took us to the stairs, rode it down for a little ways and then, after 2 hours and 49 minutes of running together, John and I parted ways.

The next aid station was at mile 17.5 at the campground parking lot. I grabbed some bananas and water, and refilled my Gatorade. Starting back up I could feel my legs asking for a break. Sorry legs, we have a race to finish. I would regret that decision later.

Around mile 19 (and I’m going off of what the runner package said because my Garmin 910 gave up on accuracy) I stopped back in at the aid station I hit up at mile 5 before the “strenuous” climb. All that was left now was a familiar trek back to the parking lot. Just one thing. My legs had just taken me up and down a mountain, and they were anything but happy. In fact, my left hamstring and glute were screaming. So every time I hit a hill, I walked the hill and massaged me bum.

With 40 minutes to go I passed a bearded dude. And every time my hamstring flared up, he passed me. And when I could get it under control, I passed him. The two of us continued to exchange positions, and eventually were met by “Texas”, a dude I had passed back at the summit. Together, the three of us pushed one another to the final road crossing which lead to our final mile.

All that was left was an easy downhill and two calf-deep stream crossings. After the second crossing, Texas took off like a rocket, followed by the bearded guy, and me.

Finally, after 4:41 I was done with the PMPB. Thirty minutes later, John joined me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfBMHS3xvNA

Final Thoughts

PMPB finisher’s mug

The PMPB was a brutal run. I knew going into the race that there was going to be a steep climb. I knew about the descent and the stream crossings. Still, it was a doosy.

My hat goes off to the race organizer and the volunteers. The aid stations were manned and stocked. The trails were very well marked. Everyone knew what was going on, and I couldn’t have imagined a better race.

So, if you’re dying to kill yourself for 4-5 hours then you need to register for the next Pilot Mountain Payback Marathon. Maybe I’ll see you there.

Got thoughts? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

This is a post from y2kemo

and it starts to stink, you best be giving a courtesy…

and following up with…

And dudes, if you use…

Don’t do …

As for the ladies, if you have to swap out…

don’t put the used one in…

Ladies and gents, when your business is finished, regardless of whether you hit a single, a double, or for the cycle, you best be using…

with some …

And when you’re finished washing use…

or ONE of…

And after your hands are dry, put your trash in…

Thank you.

This has been a Public Bathroom PSA brought to you by y2kemo.

This is a post from y2kemo

Nowadays, the town and the railroad are the perfect destination for a daytripper with a car and a free afternoon.

A bunch of us made the drive from BsAs to Luján and arrived mid-morning at a local asador where for about 80 pesos ($13 U.S.) we experienced parilla at its best. OK, let me pause for a moment and restate that. The food was delicious. The atmosphere was great. The flies were ridiculous.

Given that the restaurant was on a farm, and animals roamed freely, flies were aplenty. For the most part the meal and the flies co-mingled fine. It wasn’t until the meat arrived that the flies swarmed in the hundreds. Apart from that, it was excellent.

A few hours later, after gobbling down our desserts, we drove to Carlos Keen Station to drink a little mate and let the kids run around.

The old brick train station stands in the center of town. While it is closed now, you can walk the grounds, the tracks, and peruse the visitor center.

Click to view Carlos Keen as a 360 panorama

Carlos Keen was my son’s favorite part. I know because I asked him. To be fair, he said the “tracks” were his favorite part. But whatever. The kid loves trains. Whether he’s choo-chooing along with a refurbished Lionel train set, or dressing up as a conductor, he can’t get enough of the railroad.

Seriously, if you’re in Argentina, and you have an appetite for some asado with a hankering for trains, then head over to Luján just west of BsAs.

Got thoughts on Carlos Keen? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Upper management dumps work on middle management who has to manage a mess that underpaid and overworked employees must clean up.

Got thoughts on the organizational workflow ? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

You can teach a toddler to refer to farts as “barking spiders.” Just don’t ask them where they came from ’cause they’ll show you.

Got thoughts on barking spider? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Just me flexing like a doofus

2012 was a busy running year. Two new PRs. Two new barefoot milestones. Loads of miles. Lots of improvement.

And if this trend continues, 2013 will be busier, longer, and faster.

So, if you’re sitting at the doctor’s office or on the toilet with a few minutes to kill then feel free to read all about my 2012 running highlights and 2013 running goals.

2012 Highlights

Mileage: 1,237 miles (1,991 km)
Time: 167:53:37 h:m:s
Avg pace: 8:08 min/mi
Calories burned: 179,541
15 5Ks (PR: 18:54)
2 marathons (PR: 3:31:25)
First barefoot half marathon and full marathon

2013 Goals

Mileage: 2,000 miles
Average pace: 7:45 min/mi
sub 18 min 5K
1 ultra marathon
1 barefoot trail race
BONUS: Boston qualifying marathon time

Wish me luck!

Got thoughts? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Each trip we show up to the airport three hours early, take an hour-long flight to a 3-hour layover in an overrun terminal where everyone is in a fantastic traveling mood. Then we board a 10 hour butt-numbing flight where passengers range from ecstatic to insane.

This trip wasn’t all that different. As usual, Delta kicked off our trip with a challenge. Today, contrary to our reservations, they put my wife and son in a different row than me on both flights. And as usual we attempted to get us grouped together.

ME: Can you help?
AGENT: Probably not.
ME: Figured as much. Would you mind pressing the keys on your keyboard and make it look like you care? Seriously, you can post to Facebook about how much of a pain it is to do your job. Just give the ruse some effort.
AGENT: What the hell. I’ll bang on these keys for a bit if it’ll make you feel better.

A few tweets and a couple of emails later and he was sticking to his story.

AGENT: There’s nothing for you guys this flight, and you’re next one is booked pretty solid. You’re going to have to talk to an agent in Atlanta about your next flight. Maybe something will open up.

And after an hour-long flight pressed up against a window because some people are clueless when it comes to personal space, we did. It took all of two minutes before we moved from rows 15 and 17 to row 40. FORTY! Well, at least we were together.

Here’s the kicker. By the time the plane reached cruising altitude, and I had an opportunity to get up and walk around, do you know what I saw? Twenty some odd passengers sprawled out across two and three seat sections. Multiple seats vacant. Including three by our previous row. WTF Delta?

Back on the ground, I’m settling in to my newfound seat in the plane’s cargo hold. I shoot off some last minute texts and emails before the plane takes off (man I really hope the dog sitter showed up). Things are going fine. Safety check. Number one for takeoff. Headphones plugged in. Seatback TV is on, wait, no it’s not. It’s stuck.

Looking around every other passenger is already deep into the opening credits of their chosen movie. Me, I’m watching some pixelated Chinese cartoon holding an unresponsive remote. I know, quite the first world problem.

Sidebar. On the previous two flights from Atlanta to BsAs my seatback TV was broken. Not anyone else’s. Mine! I know because I asked the flight attendant both times. What kind of luck is this? Anyway…

I press the call button. Flight attendant one promises a reset. Nada. Call button. Flight attendant two promises a reset. Nada. Call button. Flight attendant three promises a reset. Nada. Call button. Finally, after three broken promises the fourth flight attendant shows up, walks to the back (which is like one step ’cause I’m in row 40), flips the switch and 10 minutes later (the time it took for the TV to reset) I’m watching the Bourne Legacy.

Eight hours into my journey, things are going as they always do. Poorly.

Well almost. My son is asleep. Sure wish the Argentine soccer team behind me would follow my son’s lead.

This is a post from y2kemo

This is a post from y2kemo

Let us rebuild!

Got thoughts on the apocalypse? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Today, the NYRR has decided to make it up to runners by offering three options: 1) Refund; OR 2) Guaranteed entry to the ING NYC Marathon for 2013, 2014, or 2015; OR 3) Guaranteed entry to the NYC Half 2013.

Wait, what?

The NYRR 2012 Marathon Options Suck

In my opinion the NYRR options, all three of them, suck.

Option #1 – Refund. While NYRR has always had a no-refund policy for the Marathon, given these extraordinary circumstances, we are offering runners who were entered in the 2012 Marathon, and were unable to run due to the cancellation,  the opportunity to obtain a full refund of their 2012 Marathon entry fee (excluding the $11 processing fee).

A refund means a runner who won the lottery, earned a guaranteed spot after losing the lottery for three consecutive years, or actually qualified will forfeit their entry for a future race. Sure they get their money back (between $215 and $347 minus $11), but they have to start the entry process all over again.

Option #2 – Guaranteed entry to the ING New York City Marathon for 2013, 2014, or 2015. Entrants in the 2012 Marathon who choose this option will be granted guaranteed entry to the Marathon for the year they choose. Runners will be required to pay all processing and entry fees at the time of application (in the given year), with fees maintained at the same rate as those paid in 2012.

After Sandy blew through NYC, the NYRR told runners they were guaranteed for 2013 if the runner pulled out of the 2012 race. The NYRR just added two more years and included all runners to the deal. What they didn’t include in so many words is that runners who take Option #2 will lose their 2012 entry fee (between $215 and $347) and have to pay those fees again for whichever race they end up running. So, to run the 2013, 2014, or 2015 NYC Marathon a runner will end up paying between $430 and $694 (not including the travel dollars spent for the 2012 race and any travel that will be spent for a future race).

Option #3 – Guaranteed entry to the NYC Half 2013. Entrants in the 2012 Marathon who choose this option will be granted guaranteed entry to the NYC Half 2013, to be run on March 17, 2013. Runners will be required to pay all processing and entry fees at the time of application. Availability will be limited.

This option is just mind-boggling. Runners who wanted to run 26.2 miles and paid for 26.2 miles will not be refunded their fee, but will be able to run the 13.1 mile race. That means runners will run half the distance, forfeit between $215 and $347 in fees from the 2012 race, and pay additional fees between $117 and $128 to run the half marathon. Seriously, I’m not even sure the NYRR tried with this one.

A Better Option

Guaranteed entry for 2013, 2014, or 2015 at no charge. Entrants in the 2012 Marathon will be granted guaranteed entry to the Marathon for the year they choose. Runners will NOT be required to pay entry fees, though they will need to pay an $11 processing fee.

If a full refund is on the table, then why not offer 2012 Marathon entrants a guaranteed entry at no charge? It’s the same thing. Clearly runners want to run the marathon (not the half) that’s why they registered. By combining Options 1 & 2 (and ditching Option 3 altogether) the NYRR will offer a fair and balanced response to an already ridiculously mismanaged situation.

My Choice

Gosh, so many great options to choose from.  I could go with Option 1, and it would only leave me $98 in the hole, and I’d get to start the lottery process all over again. That’s pretty sweet. Oh man, but there’s also Option 2 which guarantees me an entry into one of the next three races, and requires I pay another $266. Tempting. Wait! There’s more! Option 3 which basically says, “Screw it. Run the race  you didn’t want to run and pay out the nose for it.” Hmm. Decisions, decisions.

Well, since Option 1 puts me 3 years and $98 in the hole, and Option 3 is just stupid, I will most likely choose the less sucky of the available options, Option 2. And when I do I will end up paying $619 for the “option” to do so.

Thanks for limiting my options NYRR.

NOTE: I understand that I am complaining. The title should’ve given that away. I understand that refunding a race this big is unprecedented. I understand that the NYRR paid for food, shirts, and police well in advance. That’s why the NYRR has race insurance. How else would they be able to afford a refund? And what about the police? The NYRR raised their entry fees by ~$60 in 2012 to pay for police and private security. Since the race never took place they never used the resources and that money should be credited back to the NYRR. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle. Yo Joe!

This is a post from y2kemo

Well, you can follow the advice of any one of a million posts written by people who half used an app twice, grabbed a few screenshots, wrote a post about their “experience”, and promptly deleted the app.

Not helpful. 

Or you can read my bit ‘o knowledge. I download and use apps more than once. The good ones move to my home screen, the bad ones get buried in a folder on the last page and eventually deleted. The following apps are the the ones I consider essential.

Social

Tweetbot (2.99 | iPhone link | iPad link) Sorry Twitter, your native app is OK, but Tweetbot is the real deal.  Multiple timelines, smart gestures, push notifications, mute filters, timeline sync, customizable navigation, and support for multiple services like Pocket, Instapaper, and Readability, save drafts, add locations and POI’s, attach photos/videos/notes, manage your lists, etcetera etcetera. Given the native app is free I was hesitant to pay $2.99 for Tweetbot. But it’s been worth it.

Facebook (free | iTunes link) The Facebook iPhone app sucked for many iterations. With the release of version 5 the app is finally good.

Skype (free | iTunes link) Facetime is great, but it requires an iPhone, an iPad, and other Facetime users (i.e. people on Apple devices). Skype works on cellular and WiFi networks and allows you to communicate via text or video chat with other Skype users regardless of platform or device. If you travel, live away from your family, or just like to video chat then you need to install Skype.

BeejiveIM ($4.99 | iPhone link | iPad link) Of the host of chat aggregates out there I like Beejive IM the most. I’ve tried Meebo (free), Trillian ($4.99), and IM+ Pro ($9.99) but I always come back to Beejive. It’s great and easy to use.

HeyTell (free | iTunes link) HeyTell is the app equivalent of Nextel’s push to talk feature (or a walkie talkie). Instead of text messaging you voice message with others and have the ability to archive each conversation. I find that I use HeyTell way more than SMS. The only downside is the clunky set up. However, once it’s up and running it’s friggin’ awesome.

WhatsApp ($.99 | iTunes link) WhatsApp is a cross-platform smartphone messenger available for the iPhone and all other smartphones. Switch from SMS to exchange messages, pictures, audio notes and video messages for free. This is a great app if you have friends who live overseas or who use a device other than the iPhone.

Google Voice (free | iTunes link) I give out my Google Voice number to anyone outside of my social/familial circle. Primarily because I hate being targeted by spammers and can just turn the tables on folks by dumping them into a long boring voicemail with the hopes they’ll go away. Anywho, the Google Voice app lets me manage my account (and send text messages) right from my iPhone without the hassle of a desktop browser. I have tried GV Mobile+ ($2.99) as well (and their latest update is pretty awesome) but I’ve grown to love the official gVoice app. Besides, it’s free and GV+ is not.

Productivity

DocsToGo Premium ($16.99 | universal | iTunes link) Back when I had a Palm T|X I had DataViz’s Documents To Go. It’s basically MS Office on your phone. With it I can edit Word, Excel, and PowerPoint files with the added bonus of accessing and syncing files with Google Docs and Dropbox. I’ve tried QuickOffice ($9.99) but after it corrupted several files I gave up on it and went back to DocsToGo. And, iWork (Pages, Numbers, and Keynote) is OK especially with iCloud syncing, but I always go back to DocsToGo.

LogMeIn Ignition ($129.99 | universal | iTunes link). I’ve been using LogMeIn on my desktop computers for years. When the iPhone app came out for $29.99 I pounced on it. If you have an iPad you needn’t think twice. LogMeIn Ignition gives you access to all of your linked computers and it gives you the added ability to manage files across all of those devices. Hands down it is my favorite app. If you don’t have $130 then try their free remote app.

1Password Pro ($14.99 | universal | iTunes link) I used to store all my passwords in my browser via Xmarks. This was OK until I came across 1Password. Now I can access all of my password, software, and secure notes right from my iPhone or iPad, and sync it with whatever computers I have the desktop client installed on. This app is a huge time saver and has helped to solidify best password-creation practices.

Todo ($4.99 | iTunes link) I’m a guy who need lists. It’s how I get things done. I’ve tried several apps and finally decided to go with Todo. Apart from the iOS apps they’ve got a sweet Mac desktop app (iTunes link), and provide the ability to keep everything in sync with either their own cloud syncing service (so you can sync with other devices) or with ToodleDo (which is my approach). Some people like more stuff and for those folks I would recommend Awesome Note, Evernote (iOS | Mac), or Things (iOS | Mac) For me, Todo will do just fine.

Dropbox (free | universal | iTunes link) If you want your files on the go then quit goofing around and download Dropbox (or Skydrive). You get 2GB free and 250MB for each referral (I’m up to 25GB thanks to their scavenger hunt). Seriously, it’s fantastic.

ScannerPro ($6.99 | iTunes link) I used Genius Scan+ ($.99)  for the majority of 2012. Then I bought Scanner Pro and I don’t even have the former on my phone. That’s how awesome Scanner Pro is. You just scan your receipts, notes, or whatever other document and presto! Your scanned docs can then be emailed and printed, uploaded to Dropbox, Google Drive and Evernote, or saved on the iPhone/iPad. If you use a whiteboard a lot (I love my Idea Paint wall btw) then this app is a must.

Google (free | universal | iTunes link) It’s Google in your pocket.

News

Reeder ($2.99 | iTunes link) Reeder is my go to RSS feed reader. It’s clean and it is blazing fast. If you’re someone who thinks RSS still has a future then Reeder is for you. If not, then go to B&N and read the newspaper ya douche.

Instapaper ($4.99 | universal| iTunes link) In iOS5 Apple built a “save it later” feature in its Safari iOS browser. I’m not a fan. I continue to go with Instapaper so I can archive web articles I couldn’t finish and read them offline at a later time. Besides, Instapaper is integrated into many apps like Twitter and Reeder making it quite useful.

Alien Blue (free | iTunes link) If you read Reddit on you iPhone then you need to get Alien Blue. It’s jam packed with features for the cost of nothing. And if you fork over $1.99 you can upgrade to a Pro version that create posts, integrate Imgur, subscribe/unsubscribe to Reddits, and add/manage multiple accounts. Totally worth it.

AppAdvice ($1.99 | iTunes link) A great app for all things iPhone and iPad.

Music

Pandora (free | universal | iTunes link) Create a radio station online for free and listen to it on your iDevice. That’s it. AND IT’S AWESOME!

Remote (free | universal | iTunes link) If you hate walking over to your computer every time you need to skip a song in iTunes then the Remote app is for you. Turn on home sharing, pair the app with your library, and control your iTunes right from your iDevice. Great for parties!

TuneIn Pro ($0.99 | universal | iTunes link) When I travel I often come across radio stations that I really like. TuneIn Pro gives me complete access to these stations, and let’s me record what I hear if I want. And when MLB and NFL seasons are in full swing I can dial up my favorite team’s station and listen to the broadcast.

Photo/Video

ReelDirector ($1.99 | universal | iTunes link) The best video editing app on the iPhone bar none.

iMovie ($4.99 | universal* | iTunes link) The second best video editing app on the iPhone (because it renders faster than ReelDirector).

Pano ($1.99 | iTunes link) This app gives you the ability to create a panoramic photo with ease. It rocks the house. Read my review and judge for yourself.

PhotoSync ($1.99 | universal | iTunes link) Getting photos from one iDevice to another, from an iDevice to a computer, from my computer to my iDevice, or up to Facebook and Dropbox is all possible thanks to PhotoSync. Download the app. Download the desktop program. Get to syncing. It’s that easy.

Camera+ ($0.99 | iTunes link) The native camera app in iOS6 is an improvement. But Camera+ is still the king. Chock full of features the only thing it doesn’t do that the native app can is take panoramic photos. But, hey, you’re using Pano for that now.

Utilities

Mobile Mouse ($1.99 | universal | iTunes link) OK, so sometimes I’m lazy. Like when my computer is 10 feet away and I don’t feel like getting up to click OK on an install. That’s where Mobile Mouse comes in. Download the app. Download the desktop program. Then start controlling your PC/Mac from your iDevice over your local network.

Google Maps (free | iTunes link) I’ve tried many GPS apps for the iPhone. I really like Motion X ($.99) and Copilot Live USA ($4.99). Then Google up and released a native maps app that has voice guided turn-by-turn nav and all the stuff that comes with Google Maps. And it’s free.

iBooks (free | universal | iTunes link) While my favorite e-reader app is really Stanza (free) I keep gravitating back to iBooks for reading PDFs and eBooks for w/e reason. Doesn’t matter really. They’re both free. Of course if you really want to splurge go with Good Reader ($4.99) it’s an amazing PDF reader. If you don’t want to spend the cash, just go with free.

Flashlight (free | iTunes link) It’s a flashlight, with 10 strobes and a compass, and it’s free.

KeyRing (free | iTunes link) I’m not a huge fan of carrying around rewards cards in my wallet or on my key chain. So when I came across KeyRing I’ve since removed all of the rewards cards from my both. It’s super easy. Just scan the bar code, identify it, and then show it to the merchant when you shop.

Others

Of the 252 other apps installed on my phone, about a third are games, and others are apps that I use on occasion. For instance if I see a wreck I fire up Emergency Radio to find out the details so I can plan an alternate route home. If my Bears are playing I turn to the official Chicago Bears app to follow their progress. I use Word Lens to translate menus from Spanish to English. I spy on my dogs with iCam.  And when I’m on the road I use WiFiFoFum (removed from App Store) to find WiFi hotspots. The ones listed above are the ones I use regularly.

Make the most of your $800 mini-computer and its $1200/year annual pricetag, and spend the $200 to download my essential 31. When you do, you’ll thank me. And if you don’t, I really don’t care.

What are your essential iPhone apps for 2012? Which favorite app of yours didn’t make the cut? Got recommendation questions? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com. BTW, if you still feel the need to look for a more comprehensive list click the following link for more search results.

This is a post from y2kemo

click to download a larger version

Just a maze I drew on a folder while bored in a meeting.

Free free to download and solve it.

Got thoughts? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

If you haven’t read The Oatmeal by comic Matthew Inman you are missing out. It’s a rather funny online comic. Seriously, go read some of the more popular ones, then come back…or don’t. I don’t care.

Well the other day he wrote a comic called ”The delicate relationship I have with my keyboard.” A visual representation about his feelings towards his keyboard.

He leads with the ESC key saving him from a full-screen video of gorillas masturbating, and ends with repeated use of the F5 key on a slow-loading webpage.

Enter the Internet trolls.

The F5 joke

When the comic was published, some folks didn’t take to kindly to Inman’s F5 joke. Reddit was all “downvote.” Twitter was all “RT: The @Oatmeal is a douche.” And Facebook was clueless. One dude from BuzzFeed wrote a scathing article about Inman. And Inman responded to the BuzzFeed dude in kind. Whatever. It was a wildfire that shouldn’t have been.

As Inman points out in his BuzzFeed response “I’ve written (and continue to write jokes about abortion, murder, urine, boners, poverty, and panda bears shitting on infants.”  Seriously, he’s written some pretty insensitive stuff (not 1980s insensitive, 21st century political correctness don’t-spank-your-kids kind of inse. Does that make the F5 joke any better? Better to whom?

When I read the keyboard comic I wasn’t conjuring up images of The Accused. I read it, and moved on. Seriously, I’ve watched Eddie Murphy, Richard Prior, Bill Cosby, Andrew Dice Clay, George Carlin, Robin Williams, Bob Saget, Daniel Tosh, [insert other comedians]. Inman’s joke (and his comedic style) is bland in comparison to these guys. Inman’s F5 joke was a joke that fell flat. Why is this an issue? So you didn’t like the joke. Comedians make bad jokes all the time (see Dane Cook). Get over it.

In the end, Inman removed the F5 joke from the comic, defended himself a few times, and moved on with his life. I suggest you do the same.

Me, I’ll continue to read The Oatmeal. When something strikes me as funny, I’ll laugh. If it doesn’t, I won’t.

Got thoughts on The Oatmeal? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com. P.S., Mr. Inman please don’t sue me for posting the F5 comic.

This is a post from y2kemo

The first year I ran as a gift. Last year I went as the Grinch pushing my son in a sleigh. This year I went as a tree.

The tree idea came to me as I nearly suffocated in my Grinch mask last year. I didn’t just want a tree. I wanted one with lights, garland, ornaments, and a real moving-around-the-tree train.

Over the next 51 weeks I planned my costume in my head. And like a kid who’s had all year to put together his science project I finally made it to Hobby Lobby to get materials for my tree the Monday before the race.

Making the Costume

click to enlarge

I knew I wanted cloth for the tree so I mosied on over to the fabric center, and had the lady cut me a 2 yard by 1 yard piece of green felt.  I picked up a needle and some green thread, and continued to walk through the aisles looking for inspiration.

As noted above, I wanted a moving train. I was going to use a hula hoop for the base and cut a slit in it to run the train on, but hula hoops are big and heavy. So, I started thinking of something else. Then I remembered that my mom used to have a big hoop for sewing. Surely this place would have something like that.

Sure enough, a few moments later I was “trying on” embroidery hoops and settled on a 23″ hoop for the base and a 10″ hoop for the top. Needing a way to connect the two hoops and provide stability for the costume frame I hit up the dowel/wood strip section and grabbed four basswood 24″ x 1/2″ x 1/8″ strips.

click to enlarge

Having everything I needed to start the project I went home and sketched out a design. Yeah, uh, kind of backwards, but whatever.

I measured off random equal distances for the basswood and duct taped them to the hoops (using the gold tape from last year’s sleigh project).

I then wrapped felt around the frame, cut it down to size, and sewed the top and bottom around the hoops by hand. A couple slits later and I was sewing the sleeves. Day 1, complete.

On Tuesday I found myself back at Hobby Lobby. This time in search of elastic, 2D ornaments, garland, a star, and lights. I found the first two.

Back at the house I took a piece of poster board and made a cone, wrapped felt around it,  and made a hood. Originally I was going to sew the back of the hood and use Velcro to secure it to the front, but I chose to sew the base around a length of elastic and use that to secure my hood to the frame. Day 2 was in the books.

Day 3 took me to meet my friend who was kind enough to lend me lights. Afterwards I hit up Michael’s where I abandoned the loan and purchased a 9′ strand of battery-powered lights, as well as two 3′ strands of garland, a couple 1 foot squares of yellow felt, yellow thread, and silver and gold glitter.

click to enlarge

In the craft shop (i.e. dining room) I made a yellow star, stuffed it with pieces of yellow felt, and sewed it to the top of the hood. Using safety pins my wife marked the top and bottom of my face hole. I then stuck a ruler against my face to get measurements and measured off 3″ to the right and left of my nose. I punched a hole in the center of the oval and cut a strip up, down, left and right (not to be confused with up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A). I cut off the excess and sewed the loose flap back on itself.

I strung the garland and the lights using safety pins (until I had time to sew them down), and “hung” the ornaments (gift tags) using duct tape.

On the inside, I made a poster board/duct tape housing for the battery pack, and fastened it to the frame using zip ties and more duct tape. I then ran duct tape between the strips of basswood to keep the frame from jostling as I ran.

click to enlarge

The night before the race I sewed everything that could move or potentially fall off during the race (btw, sewing by hand blows), and removed any unnecessary safety pins (mainly because getting stuck 1,000 times by a loose safety pin would also blow).

Still longing for a train, I came to the realization that a motorized one was out of the question. As I stared at the tree, the ornaments gave me an idea.

A couple of Google searches later I found the perfect cartoon train which I downloaded, printed, and glued to poster board. I carefully cut out the train cars, covered the back with duct tape so I could sew them later, punched holes through both ends using my needle, and secured it with thread.

Finally, after four days of work, my tree was done. All that was left was a 5 kilometer run.

Race Day

The next morning I showed up with my wife and son, met my sister and niece, some friends, registered, and began my pre-race ritual which includes 386 bathroom breaks and a 10-minute warm-up.

With a few minutes to go I slipped on my costume, had my niece throw glitter at me, and made my way to the start line.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoc7gLHegzE

The race course is a familiar one. The first mile is basically all down hill. The second is mostly uphill. The third returns the favor with some rolling hills. And, the last tenth of a mile is a straight shot to the finish line.

I was pleased with how the costume performed. It held up well and didn’t bother me much. On occasion the duct tape braces I “installed” to prevent jostling stuck to my shirt just enough that it would pull it up. Whenever it did, I’d have to pull my shirt back down and readjust the frame. A mild nuisance.

The glass ornaments on the strings of garland didn’t bother me, neither did the plastic lights. The tree sleeves were plenty loose and the hoops never rubbed me the wrong way. What nearly brought me to a crawl was the hood.

You see, to give the hood shape I stuffed paper in it. In doing so I took away the felt’s ability to breathe. No ventilation meant that as I ran, the heat circulated where it was— above my noggin. Needless to say, by mile 1 my head was sweltering. By mile three it was closing in on unbearable. Eventually I crossed the finish line in 21:12.

Overall, I was pleased with my costume-adjusted time, happy with the way my costume turned out, and super stoked with the prize for Best Costume (a two-person whitewater rafting and zip-lining adventure).

Stay tuned for next year’s costume. I already have a few ideas.

Got thoughts? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZTZJ-i8QuY

I grew my stache in the name of men’s health, running, and good fun. This is how it turned out.

Download the GIF version. And if you’ve got thoughts on my 30 days of Movember, share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

My sister and I post marathon

If you’re bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things, you don’t have enough goals. – Lou Holtz

At the beginning of the year I set a handful of running goals: run a 5K a month; set a new marathon PR; and run a barefoot half and full marathon. Up until this past weekend I’ve knocked out 10 of 12 5Ks via Anywhere5K, set a marathon PR in Chicago (3:31:25), and ran a barefoot half in Indianapolis.

Since the NYC Marathon fell through, I decided to make Charlotte’s Thunder Road Marathon my first barefoot marathon. As an added bonus, my sister was going to run with me, and I was going to help pace her to a new PR.

Training

Let’s back up. I didn’t start running barefoot yesterday. I’ve been running barefoot for a few years now. I started with several short runs. Worked my way up to racing 5Ks. And over time I increased mileage and speed. Nowadays, I alternate between Vibram Five Fingers (VFF) and my two bare feet.

In preparation for my 2012 goals, I upped my barefoot mileage in March, and eventually knocked out the Indy MiniMarathon in May. Over the summer I ramped up my barefoot mileage to about 35% of my runs.

By the fall, my race schedule picked back up. I ran a few more barefoot 5Ks, logged a handful of 10 milers (including the Army Ten Miler in D.C.), and following the Chicago Marathon in October, ran the rest of my training runs sans VFF.

By race day I was feeling pretty good about the race. Not just the about the mileage, but about my feet’s ability to endure 26.2 miles of blacktop.

Race Day

Charlotte was special for a number of reasons. Sure I was running my first barefoot marathon, but I was also running a marathon with my sister for the first time, and we were going to get her a new marathon PR. Prior to the Charlotte race my sister’s marathon PR was in the early 5 hour range. We were hoping to cross the finish line in under 5.

Charlotte Marathon route

On race day, after snapping a few photos, exchanging hugs with my other sister and her family, we settled in near the 4:30 pacing group. First the anthem, then a NASCAR engine started, and eventually the 3,000+ marathon and half-marathon runners crossed the start line and began moving down the road.

My sister and I found our groove straightaway, and the two of us crossed mile 1 at 9:45. It was a wee bit faster than our 10:00/mi target pace so we slowed up and crossed the second mile at 9:53 pace.

At the 10K mark we crossed the chip mats at 1:01:15 (9:51 pace). My sister was running strong and my feet weren’t hurting at all. BTW, since I was running barefoot I had to tie my chip around my ankle using the drawstring from my other sister’s pajamas (thanks sis).

A few miles later, around mile 11, some dude was having a seizure on the curb. I stopped to see if the three people helping the guy needed anything, but a police officer had arrived just as I did. Not long after that, EMS showed up. What’s crazy is the seizing dude, as he began to come around, kept saying he was fine and that he wanted to run even though his legs were still flailing. Dude, I admire your dedication, but your brain is telling you to call it a day.

Marathon elevation +/-

A mile later we crossed 12 at 10:01 pace. Shortly after that we split from the half marathoners and carried on with the rest of our race. My sister felt good. My feet felt great. We were rocking on down Thunder Road and feeling confident about reaching our sub-5 hour goal.

Then around mile 16, my sister had to slow up. Her groin was giving her a few issues. We walked it out and got back at it. We spent the next two miles at ~12:00 pace, waved to our other sister at 18, and then dropped back down to the 10s for a couple miles before my sister hit the wall around mile 20. Her knees were aching, and she was low on energy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OCDKmkPBjQ

Up until that point we were rockin’ a 10:24 pace. The next 5 miles were a mixture of 98% run, 2% not run, and 0% complaining. All at a respectable 12:20 pace.

Mile after mile I would count down the mileage, and my sister would always reply, “Piece of cake!”

With one mile to go I told my sister there’d be no more walking. We were going to finish this race running. And we did. She rocked the last mile and 2 tenths at 10:30 pace.

Here we are crossing the finish line…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9JiT57lLvs

with a final time of…

Post-Race Thoughts

I couldn’t be more stoked for my sister. She set a goal and bested her PR by over 20 minutes! Congrats to you sis!

As for my first barefoot marathon, I was more than pleased with how the race went. The only sign of wear came around mile 21 when a blister on my second toe started to make itself known. It didn’t hurt as much as it felt like I was constantly stepping on a twig. Apart from that, my feet were just dirty and scuffed.

Would things have been differently had I pushed myself at a faster pace? Probably. Will I run another marathon barefoot? Most likely. For now, I’m going to revel in the moment. I completed my first barefoot marathon and lived to tell the tale.

My feet post marathon
Click to enlarge

Got thoughts on my first barefoot marathon? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

It used to be that you could only emulate the NES on a PC, but some crafty developers have made it possible to emulate the NES on a Mac.

If you’re one of those folks who want to set up an NES emulator on a Mac here’s what you need to do.

Choose Your Emulator

Of the handful of NES emulators available for the Mac, I suggest using Nestopia or Maciform. I’ve been able to get both up and running with my Gravis GamePad Pro, and both are compatible with the ROMs I use on my PC (I use nesterJ btw).

Nestopia emulator

Nestopia (free | download) Nestopia is the current king of the NES emulation hill. It’s fast, precise, and is darn near perfect. And if you want to go full screen and use a USB game controller you’ll need to download and install the add-on, Emulator Enhancer (shareware | $30 | download). FYI, I’m including the install instructions for EE because it’s not as easy as “double-click to install.” Emulator Enhancer installation

1.  Open your Hard Disk.
2.  Open the Library folder.
3.  Open the Application Support folder.
4.  Copy the Emulator Enhancer folder into the Application Support folder.

Maciform (free | download) Maciform is a great NES emulator that works with Mac OS X. It’s not as configurable as Nestopia, but it’s gaining on Nestopia in popularity and support. Download, install, and start loading your ROMs.

Getting your GamePad or Joystick to work with OSX

The keyboard is great and all, but if you’ve got an old USB gamepad then you might as well use it. To do so, you’ve got a couple of options. You can download a shareware program called USB Overdrive (shareware | $20 | download) and map your controller to the keys associated with the various buttons in your emulator, or you can download GamePad Companion ($7.99) from the Mac App Store and do the same thing. I tried unsuccessfully to get USB Overdrive working so I dropped the eight bucks for GPC.

GamePad Companion by Carvware (Mac App Store | $7.99) I’m not a huge fan of paying for a program when there are free alternatives, but GamePad Companion is awesome. Available in the Mac App Store, the app lets you configure your gaming device to act as a keyboard or mouse. I installed the app and was playing Tecmo Super Bowl in minutes.

All I had to do was map my GamePad Pro…

…with the default layout for Nestopia (Player 1 = blue and Player 2 = green).

Click to enlarge

Games

Now all that’s left is for you to quit goofing around and start playing some of your favorite games!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PBvOxicz-0

---

Got thoughts on how to set up an NES Emulator on a Mac? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Jetpack is a powerful WordPress plugin with a Swiss Army Knife set of features.  Its latest release added Publicize which provides a means to connect a WordPress site to popular social networks and automatically share new posts with friends and followers via Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Yahoo!, ann Linkedin. Whoa! Awesome. There’s just one problem. Jetpack screws up your Open Graph data.

Some folks, like me, use a plugin like Yoast’s WordPress SEO to manage Open Graph data, while others enter the data manually. With the latest version of Jetpack installed, the og info generated by Jetpack causes posts’ metadata to be incorrectly displayed. And since there is no way to disable Jetpack’s implementation of Open Graph data you’ll have to do it yourself. Lucky for you, I have the solution.

To remove the Open Graph tags, open up your theme’s functions.php file and paste the following code:

// Remove Jetpack Open Graph data
remove_action( 'wp_head', 'jetpack_og_tags' );

That’s it. If you’re using a caching plugin you’ll need to empty the tank. And if you’re curious what your page looks like when you share it, hit up the Facebook Developer’s URL Linter at: http://developers.facebook.com/tools/debug

Got thoughts on how to disable Jetpack Open Graph? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Get out and vote!

Got thoughts on the election? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

If you know the whereabouts of these two people please contact your local authorities or email me at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Then I had encounter with a little fella standing at my bedroom door. While unsettling, I chalked the experience up as “I’m pretty much crazy.” Then, this past week, my in-laws visited and something beyond weird happened.

Before you continue to read the rest of this post click play on the video below and turn the volume at a level that is somewhere between “pants pooping” and “there’s a dude in my closet.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvkKX035484

Right, so, normally I turn off my computer before turning in, but on occasion or twelve I leave it on to increase my overall energy usage for the month. On this particular evening I opted to run up the bill. Hardly out of the ordinary. Just not eco-friendly.

I woke up the next day, made scrambled eggs, a pound of bacon, pancakes, coffee, yada yada. While I slaved in the kitchen, my family and family-in-law were just yacking it up in the dining room.

My cuñado starts telling my wife a story of his night on the hide-a-bed. Oh man. I figured he was going to complain about the bars that run horizontally across the bed. You know the ones that make it impossible to comfortably sleep ’cause your back and arse are laying on metal friggin’ pipes? He didn’t. Instead he pauses in his story, turns to me with a bit of a pale face, and says:

Around 2:45 AM your computer started playing music somewhat loudly.

EXHIBIT A:

A little bothered he got up from the bed and attempted to turn the music off. As he grabbed the mouse he watched the cursor move around the screen and then the computer turned off. Satisfied, he went on:

After I turned off the computer I went back to bed.

He went on to say:

The song is about the singers wanting to marry the neighbor. Very strange.

Curious, I walked over to the computer and looked around. I immediately noticed something that he wouldn’t have known. The mouse he used was not the mouse that controlled the haunted PC. You see, I have a two computers and two mice. To make things even weirder, the mouse was turned off. As in NO POWER.

I got up. Walked back to the table and started eating again.

CUNADO: Que paso?

ME: You didn’t turn off the computer. Something else did. Pass me the bacon, please.

Got thoughts? Leave ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

With a green light, tens of thousands of runners and their families frantically rebooked flights so they could get to New York City in time for Sunday’s race. Others, like myself, opted to eat the cost of the race (between $215 and $367) and defer entry to the 2013 race.

On Friday around 5PM, as runners picked up their packets from the race expo, Mayor Bloomberg released the following statement:

We cannot allow a controversy over an athletic event, even one as meaningful as this, to distract attention away from all the critically important work that is being done to recover from the storm and get our city back on track.

Not long after, NYRR held a press conference essentially saying that the race was dividing instead of unifying the city. Yeah, that’s putting it lightly. While some took a passive approach like the NYC runner who created the Facebook page Cancel the 2012 NYC Marathon (now called Let’s Get NYC Back on Her Feet, others took to social media and threatened runners if they participated.  Not exactly unified.

Shifting focus

I, like many people, think canceling the race was the right thing to do. I don’t think, however, that the management of the situation was appropriate. But you know what? It’s over. The race is canceled. And it’s time to shift focus to the relief efforts.

And that’s exactly what the folks (pictured below in a photo posted by ING NYC Marathon) are doing. Instead of heading home on Friday, they got up on race day and headed to Staten Island to help in relief efforts. Truly inspiring.

Runners from all over the world are headed to Staten Island to help in relief efforts

Thinking of next year

The NYRR’s policy on cancellations is simple. No refunds. Great. I get it. Especially since the majority of the money was spent prior to race day. Majority? Yes, majority. You see, the NYRR raised registration fees about $60 for each participant to cover the cost of police and race day security. Since the race didn’t take place those resources were not used. And it would seem that the city of New York owes the NYRR some money.

Following this logic, the 2013 registration for all participants (2012 runners are guaranteed entry BTW) should receive a discount. And that’s all I have to say about money. OK, I’m moving on for real this time.

A recap to my rambling

I really wanted to run the 2012 NYC Marathon. After the storm I really wanted the race to be canceled. Now that it is, I really want people to move passed the marathon clusterfrak and get NYC and the entire East Coast back to how they were.

Lower Manhattan blackout post-Superstorm Sandy (New York Magazine)

Got thoughts on the NYC Marathon? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

For his first Halloween Jose went as Brak. Last year Jose tucked himself into a monkey costume. This year he flip-flopped between wanting to dress up as a dinosaur or an engineer. The latter won out on gameday.

After visiting with friends Jose worked the block. I handed him his bucket, took his hand, and explained to him the rules: 1) Say “Trick or Treat” 2) Say “Thank you.”

His very first house he stumbled over the words and stared at the bowl full of candy in front of him. By house three he was moonwalking to the door and freestyling variations of both rule #1 and rule #2.

I can’t wait for his fourth Halloween, and I’m pretty sure he can’t either.

Got thoughts on Halloween? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Central Park, the NYC Marathon finish line, is closed due to Hurricane Sandy (URL)

I’ve been trying to get into the NYC Marathon for 3 years. Since my PR is nowhere near the 2:45 guaranteed entry time, I played the lottery. Each year I lost. Good news for me, if you lose the lottery three years in a row you’re automatically accepted the fourth year. Huzzah! I was stoked. I trained and trained and trained. Then, with less than one week before the race, Hurricane Sandy rolled up and kicked the East Coast square in the junk.

Lower Manhattan was submerged. Public transportation knocked out. Airports shut down. Much of the city lost power. Houses burned. Others destroyed by flooding. People died.

Look, I was in NYC on 9/11. Sandy is not 9/11. I remember how long it took to get things up and running post-9/11. Sandy did way more damage. Frankly, there is no way the city is going (or should try) to rebound from the storm in just a few days. But that’s exactly what the New York Road Runners (NYRR), the host organization of the NYC Marathon, wants to do.

We’re 100-percent committed to staging the race.

OK, maybe not 100% as stated in another press release 90 minutes later.

This is a very challenging time for the people and City of New York. The City is rightfully focused on assessment, restoration and recovery. At NYRR, we stand with our City agency partners and support their efforts. The Marathon has always been a special day for New Yorkers as a symbol of the vitality and resiliency of this City. NYRR continues to move ahead with its planning and preparation. We will keep all options open with regard to making any accommodations and adjustments necessary to race day and race weekend events. We will provide an update and more detail as information becomes available.

Well, more like 18% given that NYRR CEO Mary Wittenberg said:

The decision whether to hold the race [is] “entirely” in the mayor’s hands.

Here’s a suggestion NYRR (or Mayor Bloomberg or whoever is responsible for making NYRR’s decisions), cancel the race and give runners free transfers to the 2013 race.

Reason #1: Infrastructure

86th street subway station under water (URL)

Head over to the NY Times Hurricane Sandy section and it is apparent that the city is not ready to host 47,000 runners and their friends and family.

Subway lines are still suspended. Trains are suspended. Taxis and Livery cars are carpooling passengers. Buses are operating sporadically. Airports are just now opening back up with the exception of LaGuardia and there are thousands of rebookings to be made.

Then there’s electricity and water. Many homes and businesses in lower Manhattan and New Jersey (location destinations for many runners) are without both.

Where’s a runner to stay? How is a runner to get around? What do they eat and drink?

Reason #2: The Benjamins

The NYC Marathon costs a boatload of money to run. Not just for the organizers, but for the runners who are participating ($215 NYRR members; $255 for non-NYRR members; $347 for International applicants). Based on the current cancellation policies, a runner can transfer but they’ll lose their 2012 entry fee and will have to pay again in 2013.

Money has got to be a factor in the NYRR’s decision to move forward with the race. The race is expected to attract 47,000 people including 20,000 from overseas. Do the math and that’s roughly $12.8 million in entry fees. And the city isn’t off the hook either. If the marathon goes away, the city stands to lose out on $350 million in race-related revenue.

Reason #3: Resources

The 26.2 mile course avoids most of the areas hit hardest by Sandy. It starts in Staten Island, crosses the Verazano-Narrows Bridge into Brooklyn, onto Queens, across the Queensboro Bridge into midtown Manhattan, through the Upper East Side, across the Willis Ave. Bridge, a mile in the Bronx, back into Manhattan via the Madison Ave. Bridge, and eventually into Central Park.

Over the course of 26.2 miles there are Porta-Johns at the start, finish, and every mile beginning at mile 3. Water and Gatorade are available on any of a dozen tables on both sides of the road at every mile after mile 3. PowerGel at mile 18. Fruit is aplenty at miles 20-23. There are medical volunteers at every mile starting at mile 3. And, about 1,500 police officers are hired to secure the course.

Now, I’m not the brightest star in the sky, but it would seem that if I was in charge of the largest city in the United States, and that city was hit by an epic storm which left millions without electricity, adequate drinking water, or food, I would provide those things to those that needed it most, not 47,000 runners. And, if I was in charge of a race that usurped those resources in a time of crisis I would be ashamed. But that’s just me.

Reason #4: Logistics

LaGuardia runway under water (URL)

After Superstorm Sandy hit I watched the news regarding the race and everything that could impact getting to and from the start line. Relax, I’m not a complete a-hole. I checked on my friends, too. They’re fine. Thanks for asking.

On Tuesday NYRR threw up a “Our office is closed” banner on their website. Followed with a “100% go!” official statement. Which is followed by a retraction that includes “keeping all options open” regarding race adjustments. Then Bloomberg backed NYRR and shared his enthusiasm. And then Wittenberg said it’s Bloomberg’s call.

As you all decide the fate of the marathon (and by all means take your sweet time) you should consider the individual logistics of getting to and around the city.

This morning my wife woke up to the chime of a new email from her friend in Jersey City.

No power. No water. Supermarkets are barren.

Well that sucks. Then we called Delta.

Your flight will most likely be canceled. LaGuardia is under water and won’t be cleared until Monday.

Jersey City Supermarket on Wed

So let’s see. If I go I’d be traveling on a canceled flight with my wife and toddler to LGA, an airport that probably won’t open until Monday, with no promise of ground transportation to a location without food, water, or power. And if baby Jesus intervenes and I’m able to get to New York there’s still the getting around the city part.

At some point I’d have to go from Jersey City to and from the Javits Center for packet pickup. Then, on Sunday I’d have to wake up at some ungodly hour to maybe take the PATH to the city and maybe take the subway to Battery Park so I can maybe take the ferry to Staten Island.

Yeah, I’m not running the 2012 NYC Marathon. And I’m not the only one. There are loads of people who are deferring to the 2013 NYC Marathon (search Twitter for NYCM or NYCMarathon). And I would argue that some of those who will defer will be the elite runners (seeing how only one was in NYC as of Tuesday).

Your Move NYRR (or Bloomberg)

When former NYC mayor, Rudy Guiliani, was asked about the race at a press conference in Sydney he said:

I hope beyond hope they have the marathon on Sunday because we end up with about 30,000 runners and a couple million people on the streets of Manhattan, which reaffirms the fact that we’re tremendously resilient and can overcome anything…One of the proudest things that I watched and participated in after Sept. 11 was making sure the marathon took place (Bloomberg.com)

Come on Rudy. Let’s be real. The events of 9/11 occurred almost 2 months before the 2001 race. While the cleanup at Ground Zero continued for months, the city’s infrastructure was all but restored well before race day. Holding the race was a big emotional deal for the city and the country, but this situation is not the same.

Having 30,000 runners and a couple million people on the streets will add more pains to NYC’s already hemorrhoidal ass. Too many people aren’t going to be able to run the race. Too many resources are being taken from those who really need it.

Seriously NYRR, cancel the race and offer free transfers to the 2013 NYC Marathon.

Want to send NYRR your thoughts? Click here to send NYRR and NYRR CEO Mary Wittenberg a personal tweet! If you have other thoughts on the 2012 NYC Marathon share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Put on by the U.S. Army Military District of Washington, the race starts and finishes at the Pentagon, passing by DC landmarks including the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and the Capitol Building.

I ran the race in 2006 (1:13:05) and again in 2011 (1:17:29). This year, because the NYC marathon is just 2 weeks after the ATM, I decided to hold back a little and use the race as a barefoot warmup.

Pre-Race

Two weeks before the ATM I set a marathon personal record at the Chicago Marathon. One week later, after running .7 miles while pushing my toddler son, pain in my calf forced me to stop running. Adding insult to injury, my son told me to, “Go fast dad! No walking!” the entire way back. Thanks buddy.

Over the next couple of days I iced my calf, stretched it, massaged it, and did a myriad of strengthening exercises. On Monday, I hit the greenway up for 5 miles followed by calf therapy. On Tuesday, I ran 7 miles. On Wednesday, after running an easy 4 miles, I decided to run the ATM.

Two days later my friends and I arrived in D.C. We grabbed our packets at the Armory, and then joined a couple of friends for dinner. On Saturday morning we visited the National Cathedral, grabbed lunch at Union Station, and learned about bamboo at the National Botanic Garden. That evening we met up with another runner and his family from back home and the lot of us had a home-cooked pasta meal (including salad with 90 proof salad dressing).

Race Day

The alarm sounded at 545AM. I met my buddy, Jim, in the hotel lobby at 615AM. By 6:30AM we were exiting the Metro station at the Pentagon. Once on the grounds we dropped off our stuff at the garment check, hit the porta-Johns, and walked to our respective starting corrals; Jim in Wave 1 and me in Wave 3.

Although the race weather forecast was perfect (b/t 49F & 55F) standing around in shorts and a T-Shirt was making me a wee chilly. To keep warm I paced, like a cow, in my corral. Around 7:30AM paratroopers fell from the sky. 7:40 I was back in the John. Wounded Warriors took off at 7:55. Wave 1 at 8AM. Wave 2 at 8:05. And at 8:10 the cannon fired, and Wave 3 and I were off and running.

2012 Army Ten Miler course map
Click to enlarge

I spent the majority of my first mile weaving in and out of traffic. Some folks darted across the road to pee in a bush. Others were already walking. Miraculously, and after running an extra fifth of a mile, I crossed the mile mark at 7:24. By mile two, things were beginning to clear. That’s when I came upon the second water station.

Chaos is the best way to describe it. It was as though the end of the world had begun and the folks in front of me were the looters searching for supplies. Needless to say, I passed on the water.

My feet after the 2012 Army Ten Miler
Click to enlarge

By mile 4 the crowds had tamed enabling me to settle into a comfortable 7:18 pace. This is also when I passed the first of a few Wounded Warriors. Seeing the veteran running with a cheetah leg prosthetic sent goosebumps over my skin. I couldn’t help but holler and clap for him.

I left the Potomac Parkway for Ohio Drive and eventually Independence Avenue where I crossed the 10K mark at 45:25 (7:18 pace). So far, everything about the run felt great. My legs felt good. My bare feet were doing fine. Breathing was normal. It felt like just another training run.

When I crossed mile 7 and turned the corner at Independence and 14th, I decided to pick up the pace a little. Over the George Mason Memorial Bridge and on to the final mile at the Pentagon I crossed the finish line at 1:12:06 (7:12 pace).

Post-Race

My feet survived with only a single blister on one of my toes. My legs survived thanks to my new neon yellow Zensah compression leg sleeves. My friends and I all finished and have plenty of great stories to share. Better still, I am feeling pretty darn good about my feet’s chances at the NYC Marathon.

Did you run the Army Ten Miler 2012? Do you have thoughts on barefoot running? Feel free to share your thoughts below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Seriously, don’t expect me to stick around if you’re going to make senseless small talk. If you have anything to add do so below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

The road to the finish line started off rocky after a bit of miscalculation. For whatever reason I had it in my head that my 20-week training schedule started in July. In late June I got to thinking about the marathon, backed up 20 weeks, and realized I was off by about 6 weeks.

Sure, I was logging about 20-25 miles a week, but I needed to be running 35-40 miles a week. So, I created a new training plan that spanned 92 days and 471 miles, and started July 7.

Training: Long Runs, Speed, and Races

Long Runs. On average I was running 13 miles on my long runs. Only 3 of my 13 long runs breached 20 miles. And my longest run was only 22 miles. I felt confident in my runs, and given this year’s heat I figured I could fare well in the Windy City’s cold.

Speed Work. I’ve never been a fan of speed work or track workouts until I started seeing the results of speed work and track workouts. Most of my speed days consisted of running 4 x 800 meters with a 400 meter nightcap. On occasion I mixed it up and ran an 800, then a 1600, and another 800. Or, 3 x 1600 to see if I could hold a consistent race pace.

Since starting speed work I’ve seen my 5K times drop from 20:52 in April to 18:54 in September. And, I’ve seen noticeable differences in my longer runs in both stamina and speed.

Races. Over the course of training I ran multiple 5K races including: Troop Tribute #Anywhere5K (20:43), Double Nickel #Anywhere5K (19:49), and 9-11 Memorial #Anywhere5K (18:54) as well the Blue Ridge Relay on a team of 12 in August.

Totals. 92 days (60 runs, 32 off); 432 miles; average pace per mile, 8:11

Pre-Race Prep

With my training complete it was time to get ready for the big day. The weather forecast called for a low of 38°F (3.3°C) and a high of 51°F (10.5°C). Given the forecast, I figured I would feel about 20°F (11°C) warmer or between 58°F (14.4°C) and a high of 71°F (21.6°C). No need for anything to keep me toasty warm.

I packed shorts, a long-sleeved shirt, and my #Anywhere5K dri-fit. Rounding out the equipment list was a pair of Vibram Bikila LS, a pair of green Zensah compression leg sleeves, a yellow Go Sport ID bracelet, and my Garmin Forerunner 210 GPS watch. No tights or thermal gear required.

Garmin version of the course map
Click to enlarge

My buddy, Paul, and I arrived on separate flights, and my aunt and cousin picked us up at separate times. The lot of us yucked it up on Friday, and Paul and I took the Metra into the city to get our race packets (Paul couldn’t run for medical reasons, but he paid for his registration so of course he was going to get his shirt and stuff).

At the expo I met a few #Anywhere5K fans, snagged a cow bell (a marathon tradition), and then found my name on the big Nike wall in the middle of the convention center.

On the way out we stopped at the info booth and talked to a guy who said there was no way I was going to make it to Corral C by 7:20 if I took the Metra line that ran by my aunt’s house. Fahrvergnügen! Instead, he suggested I convince my aunt to wake up at 4 in the morning and drive me to a neighboring city 20 minutes away to catch a train on a different line that was running on a modified, marathon schedule. Oh, is that all? Cake walk!

Making our way back to Michigan Avenue, we walked the final stretch of the marathon. It appeared to be flat with a hint of slow elevation gain (of about 10′ +/-). After a quick walk around Grant Park, grabbed a slice at O’Neils on Wells, caught the train at Union Station, and met up for some Chinese food with my aunt and cousin.

At dinner I floated the alternate route idea, and both my aunt and my cousin stepped up to the plate to offer Paul and I a ride to the Metra station in Elmhurst. Huge life-saving thanks! Bed called and I was out by 9PM.

Race Day

The alarm sounded at 3:45AM. I hit the showers, got ready, and proceeded with the pre-race ritual of emptying my bowels and bladder about 800 times. An hour later we were at the train station with my cousin. 45 minutes after that Paul and I were on a train with a gazillion other marathoners. Upon arrival I B-lined to a long line of dudes waiting to hit a single, double, or for the cycle. Finally, at 6:50AM, we left Union Station for the start line at Grant Park.

Splits

When we arrived, Paul and I agreed on a post-race meeting place, fist bumped, and parted ways. Paul hit up Dunkin Donuts, and I scarfed down some Chomps. Then, old squirrel bladder hit up the Porta-Johns for another round. Unfortunately, after standing in line for 10 minutes I still had 20 before I was going to get a shot at peeing, and only 8 until access to Corral C closed. So, I bolted and headed to my corral.

Thankfully there was another long line of folks with squirrel bladders. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, with 3 minutes to go, I  unlocked the potty closet, did my business, and pushed my way into the corral far enough to join the 3:30 pace group—my target time for the race.

I never heard the starting horn, but I did see the sea of people moving ahead of me. Slowly, walking turned to jogging, and eventually running. I crossed the start line, started my timer, and headed out of Grant Park.

By mile two I shed my long sleeve shirt and tied it around my waist and began to gradually increase my pace over the next five miles. When I hit 7:17 pace for mile 7 I throttled back, forcing myself to a pace closer to 8:00. At the half I was sitting pretty and on track for a 3:30 marathon.

Well, sitting pretty except for ye ole squirrel bladder. Yep, had to take a leak. I thought about letting it go, but remembered I wasn’t in a pool or body of water. Instead, I pulled the car over at a toilet stop in the West Loop and TCOB in true NASCAR pit stop fashion.

All smiles after the race.

A few miles later I saw myself running on the big screen. A couple steps later I heard my name called out, turned, and saw Paul with his hands cupped screaming my name. Thanks Paul!

Shortly after, around mile 17, I saw loads of signs telling runners there was no “Wall” ahead. And strangely, I agreed. My legs felt good and only a hint of “please stop” came from my left calf. I downed a Gu and kept on trucking.

I danced Gangnam Style with some folks at 20. Sang a little at 21. And grabbed a banana at 22. By mile 23 I was asking Gorbachov to tear down The Wall. I fought the urge to stop. I pushed myself through to mile 24. My calves were begging and offering bribes at this point.  I obliged and walked for 15 seconds. I told myself I had but 16 minutes to go and continued shufflin’.

Just before mile 25, I slowed to a walk again. And again, within 15 seconds I convinced myself to pull my pants up and get across the finish line.

In the distance I could see the crowd  at Michigan and Roosevelt where Mile 26 was waiting around the corner. I picked it up a notch. When I hit the turn my body was flooded with emotion and adrenaline. I started screaming “Woo!” like an idiot, flapping my arms like an even bigger idiot, and running. I sprinted up the hill, around the corner, and coasted to the finish with a big fat smile on my face.

I had bested my personal record by almost 25 minutes with a time of 3:31:25.

Race Thoughts

Hands down this was my favorite marathon. Sure setting a personal record in the most ideal weather conditions possible was great, but the people were awesome. And it wasn’t just the 37,455 finishers who inspired me. The 1.7 million spectators kept me moving when I wanted to stop. Folks who came out on a freezing cold Sunday morning simply to cheer on a bunch of people they didn’t know. Thank you Chicago!

Up next, two barefoot races (Army Ten Miler in DC and the NYC Marathon) and the Charlotte Marathon with my sister. Stay tuned…

Got thoughts on running the 2012 Bank of America Chicago Marathon? Did you run? Share your comments below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

Every four years in November the citizens of the U.S. have to elect one of two candidates as the new or renewed President. This year the elephants nominated Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, and the donkeys stuck with Barack Obama and Joe Biden. I don’t remember being a part of any nomination conversation, but this is what I’m left with. So now what?

Educate yourself on the candidates. On their positions on topics that matter to you and to the country at large. Then on November 6, hit up your local voting station and cast your ballot.

Still not sure? Here are 7 reasons to vote.

7. 1,000 years of darkness
6. SNL needs direction
5. Big Bird
4. Millions of peaches
3. Mormon Jesus
2. Free “I voted” sticker
1. It is your responsibility as a citizen of the United States of America (unless you’re here illegally)

Now go vote ya douche!

Got thoughts on my Top 7 reasons to vote in the Presidential election? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

First you’re going to need to make sure you have:

• An out-of-contract iPhone
• AT&T login credentials
• The iPhone IMEI number (Tap Settings > General > About)
• Your email address

If you meet these requirements move on to Part 1.

Part 1: Request and Reset

1. Fill out the request form through AT&T.
2. Depending on the number of requests AT&T will send you an email with the rest of the info in +/- 5 days.
3. While you wait you might as well reset your iPhone. Tap Settings > General > Reset > Erase All Content and Settings.

Once approved, AT&T will send you an email with the following information and you can move on to Part 2.

Part 2: Finish the Unlocking Process

1. Open iTunes on your Mac or PC and verify that you have Internet connectivity.
2. Ensure a SIM card is inserted into your iPhone.
3. Connect your iPhone using the dock connector to USB cable that came with your iPhone.
4. If you reset your iPhone in Part 1 then you can skip this step. Backup and restore your iPhone using iTunes. For information on backup and restore, please visit http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1414.
5. After restoring, your iPhone will be unlocked and this message will appear in iTunes.

If you run into problems you can find additional information on unlocking at http://support.apple.com/kb/TS3198. You can try the old method of unlocking your iPhone by  contacting AT&T support via their online chat service. Or, you can leave a comment below and I can help.

Got thoughts on how to unlock your iPhone? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

I don’t mind that he smudges the screen or occasionally drops the device from 2 feet, but what drives me bonkers is when he manages to leave the app and go somewhere that he shouldn’t be. Well, thanks to a new “Accessibility” feature in iOS 6 called “Guided Access” this problem is solved.

To use it, fire up your iOS 6 device, open Settings and tap through to General > Accessibility > Guided Access. Turn the feature ON and set a passcode.

Next, open the app you want to lock down and triple-click the Home button.

If you want to disable Touch or Motion set those options to ON. If there is a particular region in the app you want to disable use your finger to draw a circle around that area.

Now, if your child tries to use any of the features you’ve disabled they’ll be shown a message telling them to move along.

If you want to exit Guided Access just triple-click the Home button and enter your password.

Enjoy!

Got thoughts on Guided Access for iOS 6? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

BRR 2012 Team GOFAR

Last year I joined Team Lost Soles to run the 2011 Blue Ridge Relay; a 208-mile race that starts in Grayson Highlands State Park in Virginia and ends in downtown Asheville, North Carolina.

In the course of a year we lost six “soles” from the 2011 team (RIP), but we gained 6 new ones for the 2012 GOFAR team (RIP soon). If you subtract 6 from 12 you’ll see that half the team was willing to give the BRR the benefit of the doubt.

BRR 2012 Team GOFAR consisted of runners ranging in age (36 to more than 36) and experiences (marathon to triathalon to ultramarathon). We pushed through the heat, humidity, and occasional downpours. We braved each others’ body odor and never-ending supply of poop jokes.

We did it all in a mere 31 hours 32 minutes and 32 seconds.

The Running Experience

144 teams started and all but 3 finished the BRR 2012. Each team had between 4 and 12 people (I heard one dude ran by himself and started a day early; I’m pretty sure he didn’t make it) running a total of 36 legs ranging from 2 to 10 miles. Sure, to a half, full, or ultra marathoner these distances aren’t all that intimidating, but when you consider you’re running up a 13% incline or down an equally steep decline, any mileage isn’t what it seems.

In total, 67% of the race was rated as Hard or Very Hard, 6% of the race came from Mountain Goat climbs, and only a third of the race was considered Easy or Moderate. What that boils down to is each person on a 12-person team had (on average) 1 Easy-Moderate run and 2 Hard-Very Hard runs. And if you ate a baked potato at EZ24 you had uncontrollable runs.

My Legs

About a month before the race the team got juiced up on coffee, passed around some complicated ranking system with spreadsheets, color graphs, anecdotes and waivers, and we “picked” our legs. By the end of our BRR Draft we each come away with roughly 15 miles of running. Me, I came away with a different van assignment than last year and Legs 12, 24 and 36 for a total of 17.8 miles. A few weeks later the BRR officials increased the length of my third leg (HEY OH!) due to road construction. As a result, I became the proud owner of 2 additional miles.

Leg 12 (9.5 miles, +663′/-482′, Very Hard, 77°, 8:20 pace) After sitting, standing, lying around for 8 hours I finally took the BRR slap bracelet from Jim S. and went on my merry way up the mountain. The first mile and a half was all “Sweet! This is gonna rock! Cake walk.” Then on a dime the route turned to “FTLOG! Can someone give me a ride? Hellllpppp!” Seriously, every time I thought I was cresting I was hit in the face with another climb. And another. And another.

About 5 miles in, I jumped on the Blue Ridge Parkway and began taking in the views. And by that I mean I passed a couple of overlooks, and ran by a dude walking his dog on the parkway. We looked at each other with the understanding, “I won’t tell anyone that I saw you if you don’t.”

By the end of the Parkway I had passed four people (the BRR term is “roadkill”). After passing the fourth I took the Blowing Rock 321/221 exit and began the slow climb to EZ12.

Holy h-e-double hockey sticks! Whoever thought it was a good idea to run on a highway in the middle of the afternoon WITH traffic has to be a former recipient of a Darwin Award. But then again, I agreed to run on it, so…whatever. Anyway, here I am, I just ran up a big mountain, made my way down a short slope, only to be rewarded with a half-mile climb to the finish. Not cool BRR.

On approach I heard a few people cheering for me (or yelling at me, not sure). Ten seconds later I handed off to Wes at Exchange Zone (EZ) 12 and wrung my clothes of all remnants of my first leg.

Handing off to Wes at EZ12

Leg 24 (3.2 miles, +52′/-515′, Easy, 66°, 5:54 pace) The 9-11 Memorial #Anywhere5K was Sat 9/8 and I was bound and determined to run it. Not for me, but to honor Mike Brennan, a fallen NYC Engine 54 firefighter. As we drove Leg 23 I kept telling myself I would be done and eating baked potatoes at the firehouse within 20 minutes. On arrival I got ready, took a leak or two, and made my way to the EZ. Without a care in the world I started warming up when all of a sudden I heard, “There he is!”

Pre-Leg 24

Good God man! Slow it down for the rest of us. Old Lightning Legs Jim was a good 5 minutes early. So early, I hadn’t started my Forerunner’s search for satellites. I was going to have to run the leg old school. And by old school I mean without GPS. Just me, my legs, and a stopwatch. Jim handed me the slap bracelet, I started my watch, and then proceeded to make the 2% quarter-mile climb to the top of a long downhill run.

A quick -2% decline turned to -4%. Roadkill #1 came within the first mile. Roadkills 2-4 came in the next mile along with -5% and -6% declines. As I ran mile 2 my dogs barked, knees rattled, and I kept thinking, “Dear Turtle, Please stay in your shell.”

I saw a few folks up ahead just before I hit town, and when I made the left onto Baker Lane I passed one of ‘em, Roadkill #5. The remaining small group of runners were about 100 yards ahead. Then 50, 25, until I finally passed all but one as I turned down Friendship Baptist Church road. CYA Roadkill #6 and #7.

Roadkill #8 was a little harder. I was within 50 yards of the Bakersville Fire Dept when I yelled out, “GO FAR” to alert Wes of my arrival. I put whatever I had left into the final sprint, passed #8, and finished in 18:54—A 5K PR. I rewarded myself with a Diet Coke and some homemade chocolate chip cookies (thanks Ms. King!)

Leg 36 (9.5 miles, +663′/-482′, Very Hard, 74°, 7:33 pace) The last leg of the course. By this time Van 1 had already showered, eaten lunch, and texted a lot of smack. Van 2, however, had run through a downpour and climbed up two mountain goats.

At EZ36, as I waited for Jim to arrive, I talked to the race volunteer who said we were the 79th team to check in. As he continued to talk I tuned him out when I saw big black death-filled clouds off in the distance. The dude saw what I saw and pulled out his phone to call up a weather map. Sure enough, the gods were about to unleash their wrath upon Asheville. Two minutes later, cold 8 ounce drops of rain began falling as if Pegasus was taking a huge leak on the course. I went from shirtless to shirted in 10 seconds and wet to covered thanks to Mary Beth’s willingness to hold an umbrella over my head. Thanks MB.

Headed for home

Eventually Jim arrived at the EZ. He smiled like a champ, handed me the slap braclet, and B-lined for the van. With the rain continuing to fall I began my 1.5 mile 4% climb up the mountain. My teammates passed me on the uphill climb (honking and hooting from the comfort of a dry van) which is also when I saw a gal who I intended on catching and passing.

Not long after I crested the mountain and began the downhill, I heard footsteps. Son of a biscuit! I was roadkill. 20 minutes later I heard more footsteps. FIDDLESTICKS! Roadkill again. Thirty minutes after that a van pulled up and shouted “I love Uranus!” Clearly they were enthusiastic about the planetary system. Unfortunately, I know nothing of the “Bull’s Eye Planet” so I pressed on and left their intergalactic cravings unsatisfied.

Somewhere around mile 4 my quads begged for a break. So for a mile or so I ran down a -10% decline like a ballerina. A big doofus-looking ballerina with toe-shoes and compression sleeves. All the while that gal was not but 50 yards in front of me just chuggin’ along. Darn you woman!

Eventually (or thankfully) I started the decline down Town Mountain Road and could see Asheville straight ahead, “HUZZAH!” …and a line of apocalyptic storms to the west, “FFFFFFFFF!” At the end of TMR I turned up College and proceeded to climb a half mile before turning on Spruce. “200 yards to the finish,” said the volunteer. I forced my legs to pick up the pace and then onto the finish line road where I saw my team, raised my hands, and the lot of us finished the race together.

Team GOFAR 2012 is all smiles the day before the BRR

The Overall Experience and a Little Advice

I can say with an almost straight face (and without lying enough to break the ninth commandment) that the BRR is great. First, I must thank my wife for letting me run, again, and my sister for watching my dogs, again. Second, lastly, finally, and in grateful conclusion I owe a huge thanks to Bill, Will, Bobby, Wes, Jim K, Jim S, John, OMD, Linda, Mary Beth, and Colleen!

Sleep on a pew and eat pancakes for breakfast at EZ30

So, having thanked those that got me to Asheville by way of pain and suffering, I shall share a little friendly advice for those of you thinking of running the BRR:

• Break out your best poop jokes.
• Nothing on God’s good Earth smells as bad as high-mileage Vibrams.
• If you run Legs 11, 23, and 35 you will receive the Oscar Pistorius Tough Legs award.
• A hard third leg is not a bad thing.
• Don’t leave your key in the hinge of a bathroom door.
• Every leg ends on an uphill, even when ending on a downhill.
• Chicken and dumplings with a side of dumplings is a beautiful thing.
• The conclusion to, “I ate a baked potato with chili and cheese” is not a beautiful thing.
• There is a good reason the picnic table next to the Porta-Johns is available.
• Runners do not carry matches or lighters.
• Purple is an ugly color filled with spite, rage, and hatred.
• It is, in fact, possible to use a Porta-John 41 times in 24 hours.
• Saying “Woosh” with a few hand movements is universally understood.
• Stay on course.
• If you see a runner in a ditch babbling incoherently because they went off course an extra 15 miles, just keep going.
• The other van always has the easier legs.
• If you get lost and a dog bites you, finish the race and wait 2 days before seeking medical attention.
• “You go girl!” is an all-purpose, all-gender cheer.
• “Looking good!” can also be used as an all-purpose cheer. Even if the recipient of said cheer is not looking very good.
• You can’t un-experience the BRR

Last Words

The Blue Ridge Relay is a demanding race. If for whatever reason you spend enough time in a peyote-filled teepee that you actually believe the idea of running a 208-mile relay race through the mountains to be a good one you need to be prepared. And by prepared I mean deprive yourself of sleep for 30 hours, cover your face with sweaty clothes, and bang your head against a wall covered in nails laced with urushiol oil for at least four 3-hour sessions prior to the race simply because the running is the easy part.

Bring on BRR 2013.

Did you run the Blue Ridge Relay? Are you as famous as we are? Share you experiences below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

There’s a couple other kids, one of whom, Jack, grows up to be Sean Penn. Score! Who doesn’t want to be Sean Penn? OK, probably a lot of people. But, Sean Penn is rich in real and coincidentally, in movie life too.

Jack’s dad (Brad Pitt) plays a stern 50s dad who is supposed to be a totalitarian. “Do this, not that. I’m mean because I love you! Tough love!” Meanwhile, mom (played by some actress) is all girly; seeing things through her soul and not her eyes.

Open ‘em up mom. Life is not just about soul. Unless, of course, you’re Ray Charles then you should probably stick with seeing from your soul.

But wait, there’s more!

Dad wants Jack on his team. Mom wants Jack on her team. Jack just wants to be a kid and not deal with all the drama. To make the movie worse, present-day Jack (Penn) is a rich dude who spends his time on screen crying, thinking, running through dunes, and trying to reconcile things with dad so he can go on to be a better character. Jack, it took you 120 minutes too long to wrap up this movie.

But that’s not the worse part (which is oddly enough the part that critics raved about). No, the worst part of the movie involves the director’s decision to inject dinosaurs and photos from the Hubble telescope. Wavy lines and upside down shots of shadows playing in the street.

If you’re thinking of watching this film, even after my most glorious and generous description, here’s how you do it.

Step 1: Press “Play”
Step 2: Go to sleep

Oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT! Got thoughts on Tree of Life? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

The other day I went for a 10-mile run. I went the usual four hundred times then took off out the door. Two miles in I felt my bowels warming up in the on-deck circle. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before I stepped into the batter’s box I altered my route to take me past a Porta-John at a nearby park, right around the 3-mile mark.

As I approached the John my abdominal muscles were quivering and working overtime. My stride completely fell apart. With a mere 50 feet ’til I spelled relief I just kept muttering,

Don’t go. Not yet. Don’t go. Not yet.

I slid my water bottle off my right hand and opened the door. My body now had an 0-2 count and the pitcher was winding up to throw one right down the middle. The slant of the John made it difficult to set my water bottle down. As it wobbled, I thought of the alternative. Then I thought about what would happen if my bottle touched the floor of the less-than-clean Port-a-Loo. Clinching my cheeks I finally balanced my bottle with enough time to get in position to land my seat on the seat.

As relief played out in real time, I continued to sweat profusely thanks to the 175% humidity. With an end in sight, I attempted to unravel some toilet paper but my sweat-soaked hands caused the 1-ply to fall apart with each tug. Try after try I got the same result. Eventually I just balled up enough T-P to clean up my business.

If you’re still reading this, it’s because you’ve been there or you’ve been close or you’re worried that you’re going to end up like this guy. Maybe not in a Porta-John. Perhaps you had to duck behind a tree with a patch of dead leaves. Or, maybe you were lucky enough to get back to your house, but unlucky enough to have to unlock the door and walk from home plate to second.

Point is. There is no point. Running sometimes stinks. And by stinks I mean you have to poop.

Got thoughts on running stinks? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo

In 2004, no cyclist won stages 13, 15, 16, 17, or 19 in the Tour De France, OU neither won nor lost the National Championship, and Joe Paterno did not coach the Penn State Nittany Lions to a 4-7 season

Got thoughts on unforgettable moments in 2004 sports history? Share ‘em below or send me an e-mail at me@y2kemo.com.

This is a post from y2kemo