Mind Games II

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

I have used Emile Coue’s most famous quote of “day by day in every way I am getting better and better,” a few time in my past posts.  I think we will delve a little deeper into just what that quote can do for YOU!  I have dubbed this short series “Mind Games” and though the definition has multiple meanings I hope that the post just prior to this one has pointed to the definition I had in my mind.  Mind Games - like that negative connotation is about working the mind, working your mind into frenzy, altering your senses and sense-abilities; but from the Ya-ttitude^TM-positive perspective.  We will apply these games in a way that sharpens the deep caverns of your mind so your subconscious becomes your new best friend; always standing at the ready, always there to protect you, always there to help you and always there to remind you of just what you need to do, and just how to get it done.

If you have not read my post just prior to this one, it would be a great time to stop and read: Mind Games: Tuning Up the Band, and then come back and pick up right here where you would have left off.  If you have already read it then let’s get this party started.

Mind-Mastery is quite the tricky business and not something I claim expertise or command over; but if you continue to exercise your mind and work your thought process into a finely honed tool then that will be your self-preservation savior, then you can be the Master of your own mind.

Suggestion is one of the most powerful mind tools that there is.  Just think about all of those infomercials, advertisements and all of those con-men who make their livings “suggesting” things to you that you JUST HAVE TO HAVE!  We will get to methods of suggestion in a few posts from this one and once you fully understand how they really work on you, avoiding them will be easy and will make you a better life for you to live within.

Auto-suggestion is a form of suggestion, only this time you will play the role of super sales person and drive your own needs and wants into you!  Now, since this piece is titled “Now I lay Me Down to Sleep,” let’s do a simple mind-game; one that will become part of your nightly ritual; one that is part of mine.

Remember:  This is just one part of that mind game you will play; but when we get through these lessons you will realize how much of an integral part it will play.

Upon finding that comfortable spot in your bed and as you feel yourself relaxed and you feel your mind start to open up to the developments of thoughts and ideas (just breath and relax - it will come to you).  Recite the following:

 “Every day in every way I am getting better” - that’s right and again!  “Every day in every possible way I am getting better.”  The go for ten times - if you can do it out loud to yourself - it would be all the better, but at the very least “mouth” the words as you say them to yourself.

“Each and Every Day I am Getting Better in Every Way!”  Then personalize it!  Tell it to yourself like you are that super salesman and are selling the concept to you!

“Benny” - “You know that each and every day - You are so much better - So much better in every possible way” - And Again… Twenty times is always the charm.  So make it part of your nights ritual - twenty times!

Emile Coue really preached the fact that this statement, affirmation should be very vague.  As non-descriptive as possible.  No specifics at all.  Just-“Better!” - You are Better!  You are getting better!  Every day You are Better!  In every way You are Better!  And I would tend to agree that keeping the statement vague but strong is the definite way you should start this self-sales program.  But as in everything we do, we want to grow and get better and so will this affirmation.

Stick to the basic line, and of course, personalize it and tweak it to fit for you!

You are Better - You are always getting Better - No need to be perfect - Just Better!  Every day you will be better.  Every day you are getting better.  You are getting better because you want to be better and you have to be better.

I recommend using this in its more simple form for at least the first 90-days of your minds-self-sales training and then you make it even better.

Day 91… You get stronger.  You tell yourself where and how.  You are better today than you were yesterday and again tomorrow better than today.

You are a better reader and a better writer.

You are a better parent and a better child. 

You run faster, longer and harder and your mind and your body are stronger.

You cry better and you laugh better.

You are better at your job and make those who work with you better.

 You are a better learner and a better teacher.

You are a better Lover and your lover is better to you.

You love better and are able to feel loved better than ever before. 

You are now a better friend and your friends are better for it.

You smile better and brighter and you make others smile better and brighter.

The list can go on forever and should.  Personalize it.  Make it yours.  Everything you have become; a better person and in that all the other people around you have become better!

Mind Games I

Tuning Up the Band

12 Mind-Busting Stimulants

We all know that there are just THOSE times that our mind-body needs a little boost.  Interesting thing about that is many of the best BOOSTERS around tend to be things that we already do.  Once you become conscious of the effect that they have on you, you will always know how and when to recall those boosters you need.  Seek them out from within your own mind!

A Dozen Mind Busting Stimulants

1. Sexual Expression or transmuted sexual expressions can key the mind up for amazing and incredible feats of inspiration.  One of – if not the most – stimulation of the Mind/Body boosts!

2. Love is the ultimate aim of most people’s sexual desire.  But it serves several purposes.  If you can combine love and the desire for sex  you then have the most unbeatable mind/body stimulant possible!

3. A little play is a fantastic way to let that subconscious mind get to work.  I try to work the theory of 8-hrs of work, 8-hrs of sleep and 8-hrs to play – enjoy something – use the time to just relax – but use it for YOU!

4. Your religion and or your faith are the noble stimulants.  They are full of assurances.  Your faith need not come from religion, but those with faith in themselves and their religion (be it what it may) have a great way to renew their sense of purpose.

5. Mastermind Alliances are another of the most powerful stimulants; and we will visit that in the next part of this Mind Games Series; but if you can seek out the zeal and understanding of other people when you need a lift and a boost your mind-body will be forever grateful.  Mutual suffering will cause people to work together and pool their minds in a focused direction; the direction of relief of their suffering.  You may want to hang around for the next part of this series – we come up with some really awesome theories and ideas. 

6. Autosuggestion is a way of implanting the ideas you want in your conscious mind, by training your subconscious mind.  Stay tuned for a post entitled “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” It will show you how you can really use this to your mental and physical advantages.  You will be able to use it whenever you need it, and it will be at the ready, with little effort!

7. Music is full of everything that moves the mind and body as well as your soul.  I can honestly say that this is more of a new concept top me and I have to thank Kelly from “What does this song mean to me” for really showing me what music can do.  But give it some thought.  Music is full of rhythm, pulses and beats.  You can select the type of music to to calm you down, spur you into action or allow you to deeply feel the sexual expression and love. 

8. Working hard on that burning desire, your obsession, your ultimate goal is another awesome stimulant.  Check out my 4-step plan.  It will help you get that goal and that desire and your mind moving to where you ultimately want to be!

9. Exercise is another super stimulant.  It allows you to burn off pent up energies.  To refresh the muscles while driving away frustrations and clearing and stimulating the brain with fresh blood and oxygen.  Exercise is a fantastic way to think up new ideas.  A win-win as it trains both the mind and the body!

10. Friendship is a great stimulant.  Talk your problems and your accomplishments over with your friends.  Laugh with them and help them smile as they help you smile too. 

11. Work is another wonderful stimulant.  It is an opportunity for creative expression and imagination.  Try something small like returning a phone call or even better yet, how about a hand-written thank-you note to someone that really deserves it.  Not an email, but make it a task.  Write it, mail it and enjoy the creativity. 

12. Children are amazing inspirations.  Those of us who have children know how much they can inspire you.  My amazing daughter just shocked me by applying to join the Peace Corps.  I didn’t know if I wanted to kill her or hug her; But what a great inspiration.  Build strong relationships with your children.  Spend as much time with them as you can, and then add just a few more minutes to that.  There is always time for your children.  Don’t have kids?  Then volunteer your time at a church, school or foster home.  Help other children and watch how much it will help you too. 

You mental and your physical health are tied together.  You really cannot separate the two.  While you are working to strengthen one, you should be working to strengthen the other.  A positive effect on your metal attitude will lead you to work on positive physical changes. And we all know that positive physical changes are a fantastic mental-attitude adjuster.  You mind and your body will take you to those places you want to be, to your ultimate successes.  Take care of both of them and they will take care of you. 

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby

 There is just so much interest over such a small word.  The curious emails and notes I have received has definitely pushed me into writing this piece a little faster and releasing it a little earlier than I had originally planned.  Seems I somehow piqued the interest of some and then there is always my “agent” who keeps pushing me to write and write so more. 

Now to start this off on the right foot, I think we will bring my favorite author Napoleon Hill back for a quick visit.  I will quote some of his wisdom as my lead in and then we are off to talk about sex.

“The emotion of sex bring into being a state of mind.” And  “Because of ignorance on the subject, this state of mind is generally associated with the physical and because of improper influences to which most people have been subjected in acquiring this knowledge of sex, things essentially physical have highly biased the mind.”

The desire of (not for) sex is the most powerful of desires.  When this desire drives one, just about anything imagined is possible.  It really is amazing that when someone is driven by this desire how keen and fine tuned their senses become.   Will power, courage, the ability to create and an incredible persistence to accomplish are born of this emotion.   Just give it some thought for a moment.  When this desire becomes strong and the need for sexual contact overwhelms someone, often caution is thrown to the wind, and people freely run the risk of the loss of fame, fortune and even life to indulge of it.  Think now what harnessing this energy could do.  Think about what redirecting that energy into something different would allow you to accomplish. 

We all know that sex is an amazing source of energy; an enormous source of focus, concentration and direction; so why not redirect it every so often. 

Napoleon Hill, as well as many others called this the “transmutation of sexual energies.” 

Nice!

Doesn’t than make it sound so scientific, so psychological and so very professional.  I think it is quite simple to apply and something that will take us all to a whole new level, a new level of you! 

Definition Time:  Transmute:  Changing or transferring of one element or energy into another. 

See there – I told you,  it is really no big deal. 

O.K. – Let me just step back a minute and set a foundation.  The emotion of sex has many positive possibilities.  I can think of three constructive possibilities that we need for this discussion. 

1. The continuation of our species.  There it is - the main function of sex.  But it does have some great side-effects now, doesn’t it.  But of course it is good for all of mankind. 

2. One of the side effects is the maintenance of our good health.  We all know that mentally and physically speaking, sex has no equal.  It is the magical elixir of life – therapeutically speaking of course.  It does have some amazing positive effects for both mind and body.

3. And finally; the transformation of our own mediocrity into pure genius- through that aforementioned transmutation, of course. 

And now back to the regularly scheduled programming:

“Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby!”

The transmutation of sexual energy definitely calls for some major will power – that much is for sure.  But the rewards for your will power are world-changing.  Some of the world’s greatest buildings, museums, cathedrals, universities, paintings and music have been created by some of the greatest Artisans ever – using this technique.  Now… It’s your turn. 

The desire for sexual expression is natural, it is inborn and it is instinctual.  It is a desire that cannot and should not be hidden or eliminated.  What you need to do is give it an alternate form of expression; a form of expression that can benefit the mind, the body and the soul.  We already are quite aware of the facts that if it is not given this alternate form, it will seek out an outlet that is purely physical.  And while this is a channel that needs to be satisfied as well, the alternate channel can satisfy more than just the physical pleasures.  (And once you satisfy a few mental pleasures and use it to build a dossier of your future, you can go back and still enjoy the physical)

Someone said that “a river may be dammed, and its water controlled for a time, but eventually, it will force an outlet.”  This is exactly the case of the energy of the emotion of sex, so use it to your advantage and refocus its strength into something other than the physical every so often.  Think about this for a minute, that sexual energy you feel often drives you to do amazing things when you do not even realize it.  How many of you select a position on the treadmill where you can see a great body in front of you.  You seem to be able to run faster, longer and with less pain as long as you have focus on that “body” in front of you.  Simple, maybe, but I am pretty sure you get the point.  Hey, I’ll be the first to admit I seek a great “backside” to focus on when I am running at the gym, and thank you whoever you are each and every day.  (I hope no one at the gym actually reads this) 

Now think how incredible a person you will become once you take this transmutation (that you already know about and do), and start to focus your energies into a creative outlet.  Focus your desire into genius.  I am not telling you to become celibate so you can write the next great American Novel.  What I am saying is that every so often, try to use that power, that drive, and that feeling and convert into something positive.  Whatever you decide that positive is - is always up to you.  Build a model airplane with your children, re-sod the yard, or write your next blog post, and so on and so on.  The focus is yours to chose, but the desire has to be yours to focus. 

Scientific Evidence as given us these two facts: 

1. The people of greatest achievement are people with highly developed sex natures; and people who have learned the art of sexual transmutation.

2. The people who have accumulated great fortunes, and achieved outstanding recognition in literature, art, industry, architecture, music and so many other professions were motivated by the influence of their sexual desires (usually a great woman for men and vice versa).  “Behind every great man is an even greater woman?”  So much of that is true!

The emotion of sex is an irresistible force against which little can get in the way of.  There is no “immovable” body meeting the force of sexual desire.  That immovable body – is getting moved.  Use the emotion to drive you to greatness.  To accomplish your dreams, desires and goals and then, enjoy the rest of the night!

Remember – The emotion of sex contains within it the secret of creative ability; try it out tonight!

Next time?

I think we need to play some Mind Games…

Ben

One of the great parts of life is you just never know where your next boost of inspiration is going to come from.  I do have someone who pushes me hard to continue with my writing and even then, sometimes I just can not come up with something I feel is quality or I just do not feel like doing it.  Ya!  I am just as human as you are.  I know - it’s weird, aren’t I supposed to be the one who continues to push you - well even I need a push every once in a while - it’s great to be human and even greater to have an inspiration that drives you to continually be the best you can and then even better so.  Another great tool in finding inspiration is your network.  Today I received this note in my email from someone in my linked in network.

When times are hard?

With the worldwide economies threatening meltdown, and the bad news that seems to batter us daily - what would be the one tip you would share to anyone looking to ‘thrive’?

It would be great to hear lessons you have learned, quotations that you believe could make a difference, inspirational thoughts, or tips that we could all benefit from.

Thank you

John Vinson 

It is from a friend of mine on LinkedIn.  Of course the message was not for me specifically, but damn it was a great question and it really got me thinking.

Now I am sure I am about to ramble on for a while, but before I grab the soapbox and go on and on - I really am posing this question to all of you as well.  I would love to see and read in the comments below what you do when you feel down, what you use as motivation and where you get your inspiration from.  So - after the long-winded approach to  souping   you up - please feel free to share with the few thousand of the readers here - what it is that makes you the best you can be, when things are tough.

Now motivational quotes are amazing things, and I believe that one of my all-time favorites is one that gets credited to Dale Carnagie and Napoleon Hill.  I do not really think either would care if they were credited here, as long as they knew that it was something that people still say almost 100 years later.

“Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.”

 It is a quote that I use as the tag line on all my email.  It is just an incredible quote.  From every mistake, every heartache, every supposed disaster and imagined setback, you will find in it the key, the ingredients, the information you need to go forward and be better than you are, better than you could have ever imagined you could be.  It is a quote I try to live by and one I try to instill in everyone I work with.  There are no defeats, just defeatists, and once you figure out that all you did with that mistake is learn how to do it the right way next time, you will realize just how much you can learn and be better from those errors.  We all make them, understand how to use them for your advantage!

Napoleon Hill is also the owner of one of the quotes I just love.  Someone once said that “if life hands you lemons you should make lemonade.”  I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of people, who can be credited with that one, but Napoleon Hill did it his way and I am Para-phrasing.

“When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Then open a lemonade stand and sell it to all the people who are shouting the lemons at you!”

Damn Brilliant!

Take the crap that everyone is trying to dish out and package it in a way to sell it right back at them, only make you a profit doing it!  Remember friends, profits are not only attainable in the form of cash!   You do not want to be the lemon farmer, that is for sure, but if it is lemons you have - then lemons you will sell!  Take what you have and make the very best, the very most of it.  You know that the answers to the questions you have are available.  They are usually deep within your subconscious mind and in there you can find all the best self-help books and articles ever written, because they were written specifically for you and by you!  You know what is best for you - so fear not, have faith and go forward into those lemon groves and sell!

Quotes, wonderful things, but Yes, I know - not for everybody.  Hey, I can honestly (and why would I not be honest) tell you that there was a time in my life that I scoffed at their effectiveness, so why would I think there are not many of you out there that are of the same thought.  I am definitely not the smartest man out here. Not even close.  That’s why you need friends, colleagues, a network; family or any kinds of support group you can muster.  You can never go it alone.  You need “inspiration” and you need “smiles.”  Get it where you can and get it as often as you can.  You know the people who can push those buttons of yours; the one(s) who really get you going.  Keep them close; they are invaluable.  And I am willing to bet - the same way you are getting motivation and smiles and that “go get it” attitude from them, you are giving it right back without even realizing.  There are some great friends I have made over the last year or so in this crazy world of blogging.  Some who have pushed me hard, others who make me laugh, some who make me smile and there is one who can do them all to me.  I feed off of and am motivated by the comments left here, and the emails received from YOU the readers - You guys amaze me at every turn.  You have no way of knowing just how amazing I feel when I know that I could help one of you in any small way.

I am motivated by the blogs that I read daily.

The funny-wacky-crazy world of “The Crotchety Old Man” - Thanks Joe.

The humor and brilliance of Rob’s Megaphone - You won’t believe your own mind.

The laughs from Amy Oops - Insane!

The nakedness - and the self teachings of Naked in Eden - Fly Robin Fly

The amazing information from Kitchen Table Medicine - What’s Up Doc

The Unlimited attempt to help others from the insane “Pot Politics” world Of John Sullivan

And the endless amount of music that colors my Ya-ttitude and my Mood from Kelly at

What Does This Song Mean To Me!

I could easily add another 20 blogs to the list.  And I probably will in other writings.  But if you start your day with a little bit of Humor, knowledge, laughter, motivation, love and Music, then you are well on your way to getting this crap the world tosses at you out of your way.

I think the soapbox is starting to suffer under my weight so I better try to bring this to a close.

I know that some of this seems too easy, too cheesy, too simple and well - plain ole crazy.  If you think that watching every minute of CNN, reading every piece of negative Palin, Obama, McCain, and economic news (think - wouldn’t 777 generally be a good luck number?) is making your days any better than you and I both know you are dead wrong.  Yes, you need to be smart, and informed, you DO NOT NEED to be overwhelmed with that entire negative way of thinking.  Remember all those people ARE GETTING PAID to get that negative news to you.  When they leave you in a bad way, they go home and enjoy a bottle of wine and a good steak.  Why let them ruin your day.  Find a way to take advantage of all that crap, and see how soon you can be smiling all day and all night long.  You know what it is you want to do; you know what it is you can do.  Now take those things, make a plan, get your ass behind it and push it to the limits of your imagination.  Do not sit back and wait for Rhonda Byrne and her magical Secret to attract “stuff” to you.  It is not going to happen.  Get up and get out and make your mark!

Next Time?

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!

Ben

 The End of the Midsummer night’s Dream.

The one great thing about taking some time off is it allows you to really sit back and see what is going on.  The other really great thing is that you can react to what is going on as well.  I decided that August/September would be down months where it comes to writing.  Yes, I wrote a little here and a little there; and those of you who received your articles and your ghost writing - well I hope it all works out well for you.  But for the most part I took off the better part of 8 weeks and relaxed the mind from the rigors of writing.  I spent much more of my time trying to learn and understand all the nuances of the social media networks that have engulfed our internet-world and then a considerable effort was placed behind the development of that social network as it applies to personal mental attitude and leverage within the world of the internet.  I can tell you that just as you think you may have really figured out how that sneaky world of social media works, someone gets banned or gets a rug pulled out from under you.  Sometimes its as simple as an adjustment to an algorithm or worse a shift in power within the leadership of one of those sites we are all trying to learn and let’s admit it folks manipulate to help us as much as possible.  One of the things I keep running into is the almost “holier than thou” attitude that many of these sites give off.  I am wondering when the day will come when they figure it out.  The reason people (well most people) put in massive amounts of time and effort into one of those social sites (you know who you all are) is that they expect an eventual windfall.  Possibly an increase in page rank, or a huge influx of traffic, but be sure folks, those who are working hard, have a goal in mind and are working towards it with every digg, stumble, mixx, etc.

These sites have to realize that just as easily as it is for them to “shut off the flow” of traffic to a site, it is equally as easy to lose massive amounts of your current population.  There are some out there in the world of the internet who have it figured out.  They rely on our traffic to build them up, but they realize that they must work to build you up as well, once this reciprocity is gone, odds are so is a good portion of the active user base.  Blog catalog comes to mind.  Initially it was a great place to drive traffic to a site, then with a few changes and an revamp to the front page - the flow of traffic disappeared literally overnight, and based on Alexa, so did a ton of their  traffic and users.  But you know what else you can learn while you take some time off and step back to watch what is going on around you?  You realize that in order to make everything you want come true you need to redouble the efforts.  Go with the flow, always take the high road and just keep on truckin!  Keep those good friends you have made along the way at your side, because they want to be there and you want them there.  And with all of that in mind - how about a little Positive attitude push for the week.

Having and maintaining a positive mental attitude should be first on your daily list of items to accomplish.   I am betting that you are sure to hit the bathroom and brush your teeth every morning.  You are cleaning and showering and getting ready for the day ahead.  So as part of those plans, you sharpening that focus on what your attitude for the day is going to be like is just as important.  It’s more important than taking out the garbage, its more important than paying your bills, than turning on the news or even washing the dog.  Does this make me sound a bit nuts?  Does this sound like I am being unreasonable?

Well then how about this.  Without a Positive Mental Attitude and a positive physical attitude the items on your to-do list won’t matter anyway.  Unless you have your mind focused on the fact that you are going to be a success, you’re just not going to be one.   You must work on a plan and put it into motion, unless you are going to muster up all the courage and faith and focus in yourself, then nothing is going to happen for you anyway.  All the talk about Secrets has really screwed people up.  Yes, I agree you need a positive attitude, and you need to see what it is you want.  But I vehemently disagree with those who would have you believe that you can simply wish for it to happen.  That you can send out the vibes from you mind into the “ether” and in return you will find riches, a gorgeous wife,  a new car or even a parking spot, damn ridiculous.  If you do not work for it and the big one here is give equal value back for what it is you are trying to attain, you’re getting nothing.  Wake up folks, the world owes you nothing, you owe it.  Give and give from your heart, and then what you take it will be worth all the more.  There is nothing wrong and everything right with setting your mind on a course of positive action.  It’s the expectation that makes the event extra-special, not only the event itself.  As you paint your world the way you desire it, you will be striding into the future one positive thought at a time.  And one positive thought gets you a positive thought back and so on and so on and so on, until your world is filled will positive.

Here is a top ten list for ways to start you day in a positive manner and how to get a head start on your positive life:

1. Get ahead and start by affirming to your subconscious mind before you fall asleep each night that when you awake it will be a fantastic day that you are getting better in every way.  You are getting better in every way!  Create a little mind-script and replay it in your mind each night before you fall asleep.
2. Before getting up stretch but linger in bed as you become conscious, then when those cob webs are cleared away and you feel fully awake, be sure to tell yourself that today will be just magnificent.
3. Take a few minutes for quiet time/alone time before you jump into your day, trying to think of ways to change your routine and then express a prayer of gratitude for all you have been given, for all that you have and for all that is yet to come.
4. Make time to list in writing what you intend to accomplish that day.  Keep your to-do list reasonable and reasonably attainable.  Have some easy, medium, and hard things to accomplish and be sure to reward yourself with little things each time you finish one.
5. Be less serious.  Allow humor to enter your life.  Laugh and laugh again.  Smile.  Smile as much as you can.  Find reasons to smile, make up reasons to smile, find people who can make you smile and always keep them near, or think of things that make you smile, you can even just “think funny thoughts” if it gets you to smile.  That smile is an incredible tool to positive attitude.
6. Give up perfection because you can’t attain it anyway.  Emile Coue said that we should tell ourselves we are “getting better in everyway” “Each and every day We are getting better in every way” He never said we were going to be the best at it or perfect at it - just we would be better at it. So be satisfied with good enough on things that are really not that important.  “Polishing the silver is good for the family heirloom, but is it making a profound difference in your life”?
7. Focus daily on something that makes your heart expand.  Give back.  Give as much as you can.  Give from your heart and give from your time.  Your talent, your time and your treasure should be shared with those who need it.  If you are not living for something spectacular, then why are you living for less? Strive for the best, but be sure to always give your best while striving.
8. Extend yourself daily by doing a kindness for another that is not meant to be reciprocated.  Do it and forget it! This I cannot tell you strong enough.  Do it -and move on.  You need nothing, want nothing.
9. Elevate yourself by reading a classical book. A chapter a day? Make a list of 8 classics that you decide to read this year. Then two books that will help you move forward with your goals and another that will help you be a better you.  Then read something that just makes you laugh for the twelfth! There is a years worth of positive.
10. Remember to pay it forward!  Give before you get!  This line works for everything in life.  You might think about this the next time you want to do some of that social networking you are thinking about too!

What are you using to jump start your day, I’d love to hear from you!

Ben

The world of social media and social media web sites are all the rage.  Between Digg, Stumble, Yahoo Buzz, Reddit, Mixx, GLC Zone and all the others there are just too many places to try to call home (and each of you will have to figure out which of these you can really call a home.)  But, in reality, can you call any of these places home?

Home is a place where you can hang your hat, where you can feel comfy and cozy.  Home is where your heart is, but so many have recently felt their hearts hurt, or broken or even crushed over the last week, that I find it almost unfathomable to call any of he social media websites a home.

There were so many who started out as squatters.  Ya! In empty homes called screen names.  With very few friends and just so much they wanted to accomplish.  They had dreams and hopes, but like so many other people in life the great majority could not maintain and decided to move out or abandon their homes for other squatters or for those who saw and understood the possibilities to continue one with the dream and their personal missions.  They saw where their stick-to-itiveness, their faith in themselves and in their ever growing list of friends and neighbors were going to help them make their dreams and goals come true.  Not only for themselves, as it is rare that someone can attain all they desire without helping others along the way, but for their new friends their old friends and all the wonderful people who have moved in and taken residence in their neighborhood.

These nomads of the internet, the brave, devoted and hard working web-a-holics, and bloggers both thought and knew that the only way to get to where they wanted to be, to get ahead of the masses and create a place they thought they could call how was to stick it out, digg in and work hard.  They worked at their plan, fine tuning and adjusting on the fly.  They searched, located, recruited and assimilated as many like-minded friends as they could.  The made temporary and permanent alliances, some still hold strong today.  They found allies, companions, friends, buddies and cohorts to help them make that goal a reality; of course since their close neighbors had similar designs with this neighborhood, it was easier to move ahead and forge a new and shiny city from the little hamlet they had originally founded.  There was a goal, a plan and a burning desire to see it through and when you add the magical 4^th component a ground of like-minded individuals working towards a common goal - let’s just say that is the magic elixir to success!  Some might even call it a 4-step program to success.

From that tiny hamlet, villages of tents grew and then towns and small cities.  And as needs developed these friends were able to create methods for quick and concise communications.  They had in their midst the ability to share between each information at the speed of light.  They saw a strong infrastructure rapidly gown into that city, that shiny, new and exclusive city they all had dreamt of living in.  The common good of the people within the walls of this city was well taken care of; was it a common good?  That was yet to be seen, but for sure it was a cause that many had taken up.  And of course as in any other organized civilization, there were those who may not have totally agreed, but the ride was just so good to start that boat-a-rocking.

There were those who were quick to take the lead.  With opportunities endlessly presenting themselves almost on a daily basis, there were many who saw fit to grab the reigns and point the way.  The rich got richer, the middle class grew and exploded in population and the weak and poor were held down, struggling to find a place in this society.  Those who lead were fearless in their abilities, they had the strength in sheer numbers and the backing of those numbers, they were able to suckle from the teet of life and truly make what initially started out as such a gallant venture, theirs to control.  But it was not their fault, as while this city grew the governing body was created and the controlling body never said that it would share the wealth, explain the doctrine or allow the serfdom to achieve a status much higher than they were born into.  A human civilization would have much trouble with this, but with a tough method of punishment that included banishment and shunning of those who fought the “common good,”  uprisings were quickly eliminated, and over time the now huge country was calm, peaceful and growing rapidly.

Much time had passed, and the land was ripe.  A land of milk and honey,  well a land of circuit boards and data streams anyway; but they were etched clean and flowed with god-speed and static-free transmission.  Utopia!

And then they came.  The outsiders, it was slow, but it was steady.  They infiltrated.  At first they could only afford the homes on the edge of town.  But these new members of this society had shown up with a plan.  They were not going to let anything get in their way and they were going to become part of this beautiful and ever-growing society.  They came with friends in place and because they were more openly-friendly than those who have become the landlords of this community, they became quick to move up the ladder in fame, fortune and popularity.  Some had even been able to get to parts of the structure that none before them had ever even dreamed possible.  But these new people, the “traitors” so to speak, the infidels the corrupt the “new” had a different way about them.  They were more free in their ways and wanted a more open and transparent method of communication.  They not only wanted but needed the doctrines, the laws of the land the methodology to be taught and explained to them; and when it would not be, they searched for ways to assist the greater good.  Not because they wanted to overthrow those who would call this home, but because they wanted to call this their home too!

They joined hands, many of the downtrodden of the cities reached out to these newcomers; Offering assistance, aid and information.  The flow of information was quick and it flowed easy.  The old and the new became friends and many of those who could not reach the heights they wanted to, were now moving from their low positions and quickly rising through the ranks.  It was truly a people place.  But it was not something that those who built this country would stand still for.  They outnumbered the infiltrators in sheer volume, in status and in power.  And with the stealth of a ninja and the brute force of a sledge hammer -eliminated that which they felt was their competition and their enemy.  It was a quick battle.  The removal and banishment of the new was sudden and almost easy.  The new homes were destroyed and all evidence of their existence almost completely erased.  It was as if they were never there.  It came without warning and it was swift.  And then… it was over.  The place has returned to its previous form; Though these streets seems somewhat quieter then they were prior, and every so often the ravages of that destruction peek out from behind a corner, but rest assured that is quickly eliminated.

It is amazing how easily they eliminated that which they feared, that which they did not want to understand and those who were willing to embrace the old and bring new and diverse ideas to this amazing place.  The ways of the past have returned, and but for a few brave forward-thinking members of the original guard (fare thee well), much has remained the same.  To those who have given their lives we thank you, to those who have been expunged we say, “from each and every failure, the seeds of greater success are planted - learn from this and move forward,” and to all those friends who have seemed to lost their homes… remember - “They cannot take away from you what is truly yours.”  So if this land is not the home that will embrace you and your ideals take them to a new place and form a stronger and better place to call home…

You know what…  Home is where you hang your hat.  Take your hat and hang it somewhere else.  Somewhere where you can grow and learn; somewhere where you don’t have to digg^TM quite as deep to get the crops to grow.

This story is a work of pure fiction, but I would like to thank the following websites, blogs and their respective articles for the inspiration for this work of fiction. 

http://www.socialmediamom.com/2008/09/macros-bots-and-scriptsoh-my.html

http://www.infofreaking.com/society/heads-are-rolling-on-diggcom/

http://www.whatdoesthissongmeantome.com/2008/09/digg-is-screwing-itself-and-all-its.html

http://www.thegetsmartblog.com/2008/09/the-grim-reaper-has-visited-digg/

http://pulse2.com/2008/09/18/massive-digg-ban-for-using-greasemonkey-scripts-i-urge-you-to-avoid-all-digg-scripts/

http://nowsourcing.com/blog/2008/09/18/diggboss-digg-interview/

http://ashmadai.wordpress.com/2008/09/18/digg-uproar-digg-bans-users/

http://www.nothingcorporate.com/2008/09/5-reasons-why-stumbleupon-is-the-new-digg/

http://www.techcrunch.com/2008/09/19/digg-cleans-house-bans-80-script-users/

http://livingstrongandhappy.blogspot.com/2008/09/digg-banned-livingstrong.html
This story is dedicated to my friend Reg.  I never got to know you as well as I would have liked to; may you rest in peaZe.

Of course any resemblance to true events or people is completely coincidental and that’s the bottom line because it’s a Ya-ttitude^TM thing…

One Rotten Apple Spoils the Whole Bunch… Baby!

It seems to me that bad attitudes compound faster than credit card interest.  I know from personal interaction that whenever I speak to people and especially when I do a one-on-one consulting job a good attitude spreads very quickly.  A few motivational quotes, some positive words, a plan, the method and the means in which to succeed help in spreading the good mood and Ya-ttitude^TM around quickly.  People really do want their worlds and their lives to be better and will grasp the Ya-ttitude^TM of positive life with both hands or embrace it wide arms wide-spread.  I can vouch for it; I have seen it; and I live it every day. 

There is still just one thing that is much more contagious than good attitude is and that is a bad attitude and negative attitudes.  I really do have trouble understanding it.  Is it “fashionable” or “cool” to be negative?  My guess is that you can make many more “wise-guy-” or “smart-ass-” style comments while you are trying to show off your cool new negativity.  Do they look smart?  Do they think they look smart because they can argue the “negative” side of a conversation or drag someone down to their level?  I am sure they believe they are - at least in their own eyes and mind.   And then the mob-mentality takes over and each negative comment and commentator is busy trying to outdo the other. 

I was recently part of a post-submission on Digg.com and it seemed that the submission got so hot that it hit the front page as a very popular piece.  In order to get to the front page of Digg.com the piece has to be liked and voted on by quite a few people.  So it was quite obvious that the article or the topic or something had the Diggers digging away; and then it went popular and hit the front page.  A few people commented and then one or two made what they deemed funny but degrading comments on the topic and the writer and then the mob-mentality took over.  And they had a blast with it - each negative comment trying to out do the other, and each time someone questioned the attitude or the reasoning they got blasted as well.  Why?  Because people with negative attitudes seek to drag you down to their level.  They believe that there is no reason you need to be positive because they are sure there is no reason they should be positive.  Their problem is that they are so stuck in the negative-rut that they cannot see the bright and beautiful positive light just in front of them. 

This is why when we talk about the 4-step plan to success I emphasize the 3rd step: Your mind tightly closed to all negative influence. Those negative influences can come from places you least expect; friends, family and acquaintances. Many others have a three-step plan and do not include this step, but I feel that it is as important if not THE most important of the steps.  It is definitely a step that can trip you up most easily, as we have become accustomed to listening to the opinions of others, especially where friends and family are concerned.

So as the Digger and the Writer found out.  Take a stand, tell it like it is.  Be confident in you and the things you do and never let anyone enter and take control of YOUR mind.  It is yours and you are the only person who will or will not allow entry.  Choose the information you assimilate and absorb wisely and above all else be YOU!

And because this post was made on such a sad day I will include a Special Estelle Getty Tribute (Sophia on the Golden Girls)

A Negative Mind Only Spawns Negative Thoughts and Ideas!

Try a Spoon Full of Positive To Make that Medicine go Down!

I was going through a bunch of the comments and emails in regard to my most recent series on the Great Fears and so many of the comments or emails tend to lean towards the negative.  So as a refresher to the main purpose behind your great

Ya-ttitude^TM, I am taking a day off from the fear series and dropping you a reminder.  A negative mind has not the ability to create positive or good thoughts.  You will be mired in the negative because it is what you spend your time thinking about.  No, this is not a link to the Secret, as that is a fairly useless set of instructions, you will get much further with a basic 4-step plan to success.  I do not completely disagree with the premise that you must think positive thoughts to attract positive things, but I do disagree vehemently with the thought that your thinking things will automatically just bring them to you.  You need to work at it.  You need to give back equally and of valued service.  You need to have an emotional tie to the thought and a drive and ambition.  You have to work those goals and your plan and align yourself with others to make it happen, wishing upon a star only works in Disney Movies.  Making your dreams come true happen everyday in real life; and there is absolutely no reason that YOU cannot make it happen for you.

When you allow yourself to dwell on the negative parts of your day or your life, your negative thinking expands to fill all of your thoughts and actions and will leave no room for positive thoughts and positive growth.  Remember: The good news here is the opposite is also true.  So as you fill your head with positive thoughts and actions it will leave no room for the negative to have any effect or affect on your life or your goals and dreams.  Just as the negative thoughts can become an endless downward cycle, you need to realize that these positive thoughts do the same and give you an endless upward cycle.  You can achieve anything you want when you put positive to the forefront; you can accomplish nothing when you allow the negative to be your driving factor.

I know you can and you know you can - so we can’t both be wrong!

You can because you will concentrate on the task at hand, using all of the past little tips on concentration and focus that we learned a few weeks ago and then you will break the task down into mini-tasks, each one with an goal and time-frame and a personal reward waiting for you upon its completion.  And when your job, goal and task have been completed, you will realize that your planning, your effort and your elimination of the negative will become a driving force to your accomplishing everything you want to accomplish; Always!

Remember to tell yourself:  I could do it, and I did!

The Fear of Old Age: Growing Pains!

The Fear of Old Age and those Growing Pains is very closely related to and influenced by three or more of the other Great Fears.  The Fear of Poverty, the Fear of Illness and the Fear of Death all have a place in the birth of this Fear.  All have a place in the manifestation of this fear and all have a great influence on how we feel about growing old.  These three fears have the pleasure of calling themselves the parents of the Fear of Old Age, but in our more modern time the Fear of Criticism and Embarrassment as well as the Fear of the Loss of Love and Loved ones also plays a great part in keeping the fear alive and growing.  The fear of Old Age is almost like a review of many of the fears we have previously discussed and of the one big universal one that we will be getting to shortly; The Fear from Death. 

In essence this fear of Old Age will serve as a great way to review our understanding of some of the topics we have recently covered, as well as a great way to increase our knowledge surrounding these fears and how to understand and handle them in our every day lives. 

My perspective on this fear is a bit different than the classic perspective and with that thought in your mind I feel much more comfortable calling the Fear of Old age, The Fear of Growing Older.  It is not purely Old Age that is a fear, but growing “Older” that scares most of us.  The fear of Growing Older encompasses many smaller fears that finally create the great Big One!  Whether we are in our teens or our sixties the fear is almost the same.  Though certain aspects of the fear are heightened at different ages, the components of the fear basically remain the same.  And the interesting part is that some of the larger parts of the fear (as in the fear of poverty - translated into “paying our bills”) weigh heavy on all age levels in this fear. 

I remember being about seventeen and hanging out with a bunch of my closest friends one night at a park in Brooklyn that we called home.  Amazingly enough that conversation skewed its way into wondering how we are going to pay bills and things when we finished High School for some and college for others.  It was a deep and wide spread conversation for a bunch of kids that ranged from 15 to 18 years of age.   I remember talking about being the accounting major and taking all those classes on how to write checks (remember those) and balancing books and such and being sure that “this is no big deal.” While others wondered where does the money actually come from?  The teen mind is active and moving forward, but still wonders how it will be as they grow older and where their wealth and happiness will come from once they have left the cozy nest. 

There are two age groups that seem to be the ones I work most with; those in their late twenties and those who have crossed the line at forty and slightly beyond.  The interesting thing about those two groups is that they fear much of the same as it involves growing older.  The twenty-something’s are afraid that they have reached their creative and work-worthy limits.  At this point in their lives, if they are not “set” then they are in trouble is exactly what they fear.  Now as for the twenty-something’s that fear is probably one that comes from times gone by.  It was not all that long ago that a “future-forward” person was married, had their children and their career in full swing at 28.  In today’s ever-changing world it is not a necessary.  I work with many people between the ages of 25 and 31 trying to show them that the “great veil of the future” starts to lift itself at around thirty.  From that point you can start to see what it was you did and how you need to work on those goals, and what it is you want to do with your life and start setting a focus and plan to attaining it.  It seems that at the tender age of thirty life starts to show itself in full transparency to an individual.  Your thoughts become more focused and your work ethic hits a much higher note.  This is a fantastic point in your life to overcome the issues that make us fear growing old and old age.  It is the perfect time to get your plan in place, start to work hard at attaining it, this is a great time to gather that group of like-minded people to work with you and you work with them in the attainment of you goals and this is a sensitive time where negative influences are concerned.  It is a sensitive time as many people are now in full career swing and friends and even family can come down hard on you when you want to go for a major change and move forward with your life’s-goals.  If it is something you really want and really intend to work at it - then work hard to block out those negatives and keep the positive outlook.  It will allow you to be much more comfortable with old age and growing older as it happens each and every day. 

When working with the group that is slightly older and in their early to mid forties things are remarkably similar, but in a slightly different aspect.  This group seems to find fault with itself more than any other (except teenagers - but that is a whole other book).  There is a definite tendency to “slow down” and develop a false inferiority complex solely based on age.  They feel they are “slipping or losing touch” which is very strange because at this ripe “young” age (between forty and sixty) the greatest use of our mental and spiritual assets and attributes are available.  Many forty-something’s speak apologetically about their age as if age is an excuse; Instead of realizing that reaching the age of forty, fifty and sixty is an advantage and a gift of wisdom and understanding.  How many times have you said “if Only I was Younger?” This is a period in your life when you can use all of the knowledge and experience you have gained as well as all of those friends and contacts and build it into your dream.  It is a perfect time to apply everything and get everything as you have now entered the age-of-wisdom and can now be exactly that which you have strived for and if you have not yet started - it is a PERFECT time to get that plan down and move forward. 

You must realize though, that if you are to use your skill and wisdom and all the knowledge that being a forty-plus individual has given you, you must also dress and act the part.  Do not try to hide behind fashion-forward clothing and try to be 21 when you are 41.  The effect is more ridiculous than advantageous.  I am not telling you to not be fashion conscious, just be age appropriate.  Dress like the expert you now are.  When you are trying to project confidence and expertise you need to look the part.  You need your potential “customers” realize that they NEED you because YOU are the expert.  If you are going to be the expert - play the part well!  You are now at a stage in life that affords you the spoils of expertise, do not give it away by trying to be someone or something you are not; take advantage of what you have learned.  That is the way to ward off the fear of Old Age. 

Remember: You control all that you want to be.  You are the master of you ship, so set sail for success.  Do not fear old age and do not fear growing old, as both should be embraced and taken advantage of so that you can prosper.

My Good Friend Nicole from Kitchen Table Medicine would also love to help you. Take a look at her Anti-aging Diet. 

Do not be embarrassed about your age - no matter what your age is! - You are better today and everyday - in every way!

Do not fear poverty - You are on the track to defining your goals and your future - poverty does not stand a chance against your force of effort!

Do not fear Illness - as at this age - at any age - you are better than you were yesterday and getting better every day!

Do not fear the Loss of Love - You are better and smarter and wiser with age - all attributes that the ones that you love and that love you appreciate!

Do not fear growing older - It is exactly like your plan - it gets better, focused, defined and refined each and every day!

Do not Fear Old Age - Embrace it, as it is coming regardless - so why fear it - use it to your advantage!

Three Times