Slicker Than Your Average~

Wearing Yellow

2012-02-18T19:10:00.002+05:00

I do not usually care enough about politicians to go to their protests and listen to them throw around slogans.

But I was present yesterday at the Tsunami monument in Male', as a mere yellow dot among a sea of outraged citizens who were gathered there in protest against the coup d'état that dislodged the country's first elected government.

Impressive time-lapse of yesterday's protest by Senses0

Something about the 7th Feb coup d'état has rubbed me the wrong way. It has made me angry in a way I cannot easily explain.

Maybe it was the brutal police violence inflicted on my people. Maybe it was seeing eight cowards in riot gear senselessly beating and kicking an unconscious man. Maybe it was watching helplessly as videos emerged of the renegade Police taking away my dad and other citizens, and hitting them with batons that we entrusted them with.

Perhaps it was the disgusting influence of corrupt, tainted businessmen in the whole sordid deal that pissed me off the most.

How did they even dare to think they could impose their will on us - using the public-funded military and police force no less - and get away with it? What arrogance drove them into thinking they could just beat up, lock up and intimidate the country's citizens into submission? It was a rape of democracy brazenly carried out in full public view.

There is a reason why they call it blind rage. I have refused to condemn the so-called 'arson' and torching of police stations and courts in Addu. I daresay, if I had the chance, I probably would have done it myself.

But last night's massive protest has shown me a new light. The feelings of rage and revenge have given way to a feeling of pity for these fools who think they can control the Maldivian public at gunpoint again.

You have to hand it to the MDP, they know how to do a protest right.

There was music. There was dancing. There were the fiery speeches. There were the occasional videos played on screens, showing the renegade police tear-gassing and raining blows on unarmed citizens and their elected leaders the day after the coup d'état, that still makes one's blood boil no matter how many times one sees it.

But more importantly, I saw young people. Children, young teenagers, old people. Some of my 'non-political' friends also joined in the protest for the first time.

And why shouldn't they? A handful of coup leaders have displayed unbelievable arrogance in snatching the public's vote and - to literally add injury to insult - have brutalized them on the streets.

How did Dr Waheed and his traitorous allies dare to go on air and say with a straight face that they will deny the Maldivian public the right to express their opinion on a ballot? Astoundingly, he also claimed that government was toppled because 'the President had lost support'.

The problem I have with that is that Dr Waheed does not get to judge on behalf of the public. Nor does Jameel or Abdulla Riyaz or Nazim get to decide on our behalf. Nor does the Police.

(It enrages me that while they were engaged in their treachery for their wealthy masters, religious vandals stormed the National museum and destroyed the last remaining treasures of our rich Buddhist legacy)

I have not deputed these people to vote on my behalf. Nor did the the tens of thousands who gathered last night.

I do not recognize the legitimacy of the band of men who have declared themselves the government, after forcing out the people's elected leader at gunpoint.

For this reason, I cannot begin to accept a solution that involves having them seated in their usurped chairs till 2013.

All of us who gathered last night had but one demand: Elections. Now.

If Waheed or the Golhaa's minions can win the public vote, I shall accept and defend the public decision wholeheartedly. But I refuse to have someone rule over me forcibly at gun point.

For all their guns and filthy money, I pity the thieves who thought they could rob us of a democracy. No matter how much they censor the protests on their private propaganda outlets and pretend otherwise, I am satisfied now that elections are inevitable.

I also demand an inquiry into the events of 7th Feb; the police and military who broke the oath they made to the public should be stripped of their uniforms and forced to stand trial. The coup leaders should be identified and punished with the harshest possible punishments for undermining the country's democracy.

There is no other way to ensure that the arrogance of a few rich, power-hungry men do not threaten to collapse the rule of law in our country again.

_

P.S. - I normally dislike associating myself with any political party. It goes contrary to my sincerely held belief that party leaders should work for the public rather than the other way around. However, last night, I wore yellow as a sign of dissent against the current proxy dictatorship imposed on our people. I have not signed as an MDP member, and I probably won't, but I fully intend to rally behind President Nasheed until the people's mandate is restored in a public election.

A great betrayal

2012-02-12T21:28:00.004+05:00

With today's appointment of a cabinet full of the former (current?) dictator Gayoom's henchmen and supporters, the coup d'etat in the Maldives is complete.

I can't help but feel a deep sense of betrayal from countries like India and the United States that have granted legitimacy to the illegal, puppet government that has been installed in an outrageous power grab that took down the country's first democratic government.

Their unfortunate decision to recognize Gayoom's proxy government is bound to have far reaching consequences, and has set back the Maldives by a decade.

In a way, the country is worse off than before we achieved democracy. The country is now an open police state, as seen in the brazen crimes committed in full public view by the Maldives Police Service.

In the below video taken on 8th Feburary in Male', the police thugs have just charged at a crowd of President Nasheed's supporters without warning. They catch hold of a man and, without any provocation, take turns repeatedly kicking and brutally assaulting him until he is unconscious. I was watching the scene when it happened. The man lay face down, unconscious for several minutes before they dragged his broken body and roughly shoved him into an ambulance.

This is just a glimpse of the kind of terror inflicted by Waheed's masters to intimidate the public. Neither Waheed nor the newly appointed Commissioner of Police - another known Gayoom henchman - has condemned this outrage.

I am ashamed to say India and the United States / UK / UN have decided to recognize a government that has been installed by these terrorists.

The below video shows senior MDP leader, and former Parliamentary majority leader, "Reeko" Moosa Manik narrating the details of the horrifying assault on him on the 8th February, the day after the coup d'etat. From his narration, it appears the Police were possibly trying to kill him.

Several others were similarly assaulted on the same day.

The below video shows the brazen political violence committed by the highly politicized police / military. The people waving flags are supporters of the erstwhile dictator and his allies, who are cheering on the mutineers as they march up to the MDP party camp in Male' on the day of the coup d'etat, and proceed to ransack the place, set it on fire, and assault activists of the party.

During the initial assault by the rogue "star force" police, they threw pepper-spray bombs and assaulted senior members of the party who happened to be at the camp. Some were beaten, and others were forcibly held by the police and had pepper spray sprayed directly into their open eyes.

The story is even worse in the outlying atolls of the Maldives. In the southern atoll of Addu, people have apparently been taken on to coast guard vessels, been stripped and beaten. I do not have a clear confirmation of the incidents because all the State media have been taken over by the coup perpetrators and turned into the their propaganda outlets. But given the abundance of available videos of the crimes openly perpetrated by the rogue security forces in Male', there is no reason to doubt the stories reaching me from the atolls.

It is amazing how any government in the world can still remain reluctant to label this outrageous coup d'etat as a crime of the first order against the Maldivian people - and their first democratically elected government.

This isn't about the MDP or President Nasheed. It is about condoning an undemocratic power grab led by enemies of democracy, corrupt businessmen and Islamist forces in the Maldives - one that utterly shatters the country's democratic hopes.

The sacred process of appointing a government through the ballot box has been replaced by the method of terrorizing citizens, and forcibly unseating their elected government by gross abuse of the powers of the security forces.

No amount of sugar-coating or using fancy terms like 'unity government' can hide the ugliness of this episode. The truth is plain and obvious. The people have lost control of the country's media, police, military, Judiciary and Executive, which are now all firmly back under the thumb of undemocratic forces. It won't be long before they usurp the Parliament as well, by simply buying the MPs.

At this point, the country's democracy lies utterly destroyed.

In other words, it is an upsetting betrayal by the international community.

I cannot, in my right mind, accept the legitimacy of this criminal dictatorship that has been imposed on my people - with international support, I'm sad to say.

_
P.S. Ever since the coup d'etat, I've been getting intimidating messages from both self-proclaimed "religious" (anonymous) representatives and members of the armed forces that I personally know.

I'm being reminded that I no longer have a President who will fight to uphold my freedom of speech, and therefore I should be 'careful' of what I write. To directly quote the MNDF guy: "i urge you not to touch with islamic issues'(sic)

It is easy to imagine that my criticism of the current police state will not go down well with the criminals in power. Such a shame that after three years, I have to once again start thinking of potential consequences before I write.

A mutiny against democracy

2012-02-12T01:56:00.003+05:00

Other countries in the region, such as Pakistan, have experimented with letting the armed forces dictate the rulers of the country. And in the bargain, Pakistan has become a failed democracy mired in chaos and conflict.

It is therefore tragic that the Maldives is all set to follow in Pakistan’s footsteps, without even having experienced two election cycles.

Could future political parties in the Maldives come to power simply by winning influence in the police and armed forces? Will the demands of a few hundred uniformed personnel strip 300,000 people of their democratic verdict?

If the currently installed government is granted legitimacy, what would stop the country’s defense forces from pointing a gun at future elected governments? [Read more >>]

Chapter III: Return of the Golhaa

2012-02-10T10:15:00.001+05:00

The coup d'etat was pulled off without a hitch.

The country's first democratically elected President has been removed from office, and in his place has been installed a puppet government of the Gayoom establishment.

The Golhaa has already unleashed his rabid dogs - the mob of violent, uniformed criminals known as "Star force" - upon the people to intimidate them into surrender, just like in the good old days of the dictatorship.

On their very first day after coming to power, the proxy dictatorship has rounded up several hundred people - my dad among them, who has given me first hand information - and detained them in prisons.

The air in the capital has once again acquired the familiar sting of tear gas, people have been beaten unconscious on the streets, and MP's have been clobbered half to death.

Even the toppled President himself has been roughed up by Golhaa's mad dogs.

President Nasheed, after being attacked by Police thugs

[Source: Haveeru]

The traitorous coup leaders have moved quickly. Despite their ridiculous pretext of 'upholding the constitution', the planning involved was evident in the manner in which the MNBC state media was taken over within hours of the coup.

It was then handed over to the management of opposition propaganda outlet VTV, and immediately renamed as 'TVM' as it was known earlier during the Golhaa dictatorship.

While the Golhaa's thugs were on a rampage against civilians in public, the state media and opposition propaganda outlets were playing children's cartoons.

A man beaten unconscious by riot police the day after the coup.

[source: sun.mv]

The heads of the Police and Armed forces have been replaced with Golhaa loyalists. The Executive cabinet is being reconstituted with Golhaa apologists.

To consolidate their power over the state after a 3 year absence, however, the Golhaa knows he needs to get Anni off the streets.

Yesterday, the newly appointed Home Minister Mohamed Jameel of the DQP - an impossibly humourless man, a Gayoom ally and a prominent party involved in this gross treason - has revealed in a press conference that he intends to charge the ex-President with terrorism.

Sounds familiar? It should be. This won't be the first time the Golhaa dictatorship has charged Anni with terrorism and put him behind bars.

It shouldn't matter what the charges are. The mid-level Courts are hand picked by the Golhaa, and their only apparent responsibility is to carry out the Golhaa's bidding. So they could charge him with stealing Christmas, and still get a conviction.

Indeed, the Courts have already issued an arrest warrant.

The only thing that stands between Anni and an eternity in prison is the international goodwill that he has built up - and whatever influence that carries with the proxy dictatorship.

I don't know how we have let this happen. But it is clear to me that we Maldivians need to flip back our calendars a few years and start over again.

We simply cannot afford to go back to being enslaved by the Golhaa, or live in terror of the Golhaa force again.

And this time, we need to do a better job of flushing the piled up, 30 year old shit that's clogging our pipes, and carefully sort out the judiciary, the Gayoom clan, his corrupt cronies, and his "Star Force" thugs. It's the only way the Maldives can ever progress.

These criminals need to be in prison. Not beating up citizens

[Source: Haveeru]

Just as before, there are those who'll oppose every effort at public resistance.

"You'll encourage violence!"
"Don't disturb the peace!"
"Act within the law!"

I am usually an advocate of Gandhi's methods of non-cooperation and peaceful civil disobedience. But having seen people - people I don't even know or recognize - being beaten up unconscious in front of me by a state-sanctioned mob has flipped some kind of switch inside me.

Right at this moment, I can absolutely justify the outrage and the anger of the people in my hometown of Addu. Following the brutal crackdown on President Nasheed's supporters in Male', they burned down all the police stations and courts in Addu - and I can say I fully understand the sentiment.

Gross brutality by a state militia is a strong provocation, Dr Jameel. Do not act surprised and pull the 'terrorism' card when people react with violence.

The Golhaa might have returned. But I think the citizens have wised up just a little since the last revolution. If you don't put your mad dogs on a leash, the people will.

PS: I usually try to refrain from using words like 'thugs' when referring to state authorities. However, after witnessing the brutality and violence inflicted by the Golhaa force, I find that no words can truly express my revulsion and contempt for these criminals.

By calling them 'thugs', I'm actually being needlessly polite.

~Peace!

Reign of terror in the Maldives

2012-02-08T21:48:00.002+05:00

***Updated: See below for updates*** _

There is a brutal, concerted effort by the runaway police department to crush protests by supporters of President Nasheed, following his release today.

I have personally witnessed the heavy handed tactics employed to combat MDP activists, energized by the release of President Nasheed earlier today after yesterday's coup d'etat that forced him to resign.

Tear gas was used indiscriminately on Orchid magu near the Supreme court building. Two people were beaten up and lay motionless on the street for a long time before they were dragged and shoved into an ambulance.

Then I saw a police jeep speeding into a crowd of protesters. A police jeep. Absolutely reprehensible.

Man beaten unconscious by the riot police today

[Pic source: Sun.mv]

I am not an MDP member. I have criticized President Nasheed often. But witnessing the coup d'etat unfold yesterday before my eyes is extremely troubling.

Especially worrisome was the violence and brutality of the "elite" riot police, created and trained under the Gayoom regime, who stormed into MDP quarters and trashed the place, and severely beat up several MDP activists in the events leading up to the coup.

I have seen videos of the MDP quarters set on fire and utterly destroyed. By the Police.

The violence leading up to the coup was simply unprecedented. The pitched battles between the police and the military was simply unheard of.

Traitors propping up the proxy government [Source: Haveeru]

Images of bloodied and beaten MDP supporters and activists are doing the rounds. From what I can see, the Police are showing absolutely no restraint.

The Police and military are traitors to the nation. The country is now a military state, with a runaway judiciary controlled by the old Gayoom establishment, and now a proxy government. In other words, every progress made under the democratic revolution is now completely reversed.

Former MDP parliamentary group leader "Reeko" Moosa, after being attacked today by the "Police"

[via Raajje TV]

The release of President Nasheed - no doubt under tremendous international pressure - is a huge tactical mistake by the coup leaders.

The country is full of 'activists', but none of them of the calibre of President Nasheed. His entry into a MDP meeting today, with a smile on his face, visibly electrified the utterly demoralized MDP of yesterday.

Within no time, massive crowds of his supporters poured out on the streets in Male', Addu, and other population centers of the country. Police stations and courts have been set on fire in the rebellious south - a known MDP stronghold.

The Police has since forcibly taken the President and other senior figures into custody. The ~~mayors~~ elected members of Addu and Male' have been attacked in the street by the uniformed thugs.

President Nasheed's supporters in Male' today

The military state has taken over the state media, which refuses to show any of the protests or the bloody crack down. (So much for 'protecting the constitution')

I am counting on foreign diplomats, media and other agents of influence - anyone who reads my blog to make sure the truth is out there.

I've always considered Dr Waheed a respectable, moderate and learned man. But his government - installed by a coup d'etat staged by the powerful opposition interests - is simply unjustifiable. There is no respectable option for him but to resign and hold immediate elections.

Every democracy of the world should condemn this shocking power grab - and the subsequent reign of terror.

Suddenly, we're back in 2006 again.

This is first degree treason by the criminals in uniform, the very people who are bound by law to protect the citizens. Treason, by the leaders of PPM, DRP, the Islamist parties and others who have been working overtime to revive the old Gayoom establishment.

Treason. Plain and simple.

_
UPDATE 1:

Sun.mv has posted a picture of Reeko Moosa Manik being taken into custody. The battered, bloodied image of Reeko from earlier in this post was obviously taken afterward. - clearly suggesting that the MP was beaten by the Police while in their custody.

Treason. Coup. Change.

2012-02-07T20:48:00.002+05:00

Don't get me wrong. I predicted this just two weeks ago. In fact, here's what I said in a piece for Minivan News, published on 24 January 2012

"It simply does not bode well for the country’s democracy when the powers bestowed to one arm of the State is unilaterally employed to twist the other arm.

The country has already had one failed attempt at democracy before. If the actions of the democratic leaders causes the general public loses faith in democratic institutions and the rule of law, then there’s no reason to believe it won’t fail again."

And that's exactly what happened last night. Our country's second (third?) experiment with democracy failed.

I was watching from a building with a vantage point, seeing the events of the night unfold on the streets below me. When the entire Police force refused to take orders and openly rebelled, I knew it was going to rapidly spiral out of control.

Once that happened, I saw the rioters lose all their fear. Stones and bottles were thrown. Window panes were smashed. Some of the protesters were relentlessly rebuking the armed forces for protecting 'the Jew' - and loudly applauding the Police.

In the meantime, the Vice President issued a statement ordering the armed forces to refrain from following 'unconstitutional' orders, while the rebelling police were calling for the Commissioner to issue an apology for issuing such orders.

Rumors flew that a faction of the army had also decided to join the rebels, but were being forcibly held at their base. In the space of a few hours, of course, the whole thing dangerously blew into a full blown national crisis.

A group of young men - ostensibly MDP activists - were seen rushing towards the republican square with sticks and other weapons. In the ensuing commotion, the police and the MNDF were caught in a vicious pitched battle, and copious amounts of pepper spray and tear gas canisters were being flung by both sides.

The way the situation was getting out of hand, I did momentarily fear there would be bloodshed. But the reality is that the country simply cannot afford to have the military publicly open fire on citizens. Even the dictator Maumoon with all his absolute powers didn't dare do it.

It just wouldn't work.

Given this, the President did the right thing by gracefully resigning in the face of a coup d'etat.

I must take the time out to say what I truly feel about President Nasheed.

I haven't the slightest doubt that he's a democrat in every sense of the word.

However, he is also more of an activist than a statesmen; more adept at giving populist, rousing speeches than building a national consensus. It is not surprising then that the last few months of the country has seen absolute political polarization - with no willingness on either side to compromise or see eye-to-eye on any issue.

President Nasheed's ability to turn conventional wisdom on its head and pull out one surprise after the other never failed to impress.

I severely criticized his decision to gamble with the country's economy by banning spas and massage parlours in the resorts. But one can't deny the sheer brilliance of the manoeuvre; the manner in which he publicly called the opposition's bluff and exposed the hypocrisy of the mullahs and the two-faced nature of people like Gasim Ibrahim.

Faced with an inflamed public charged with high religious rhetoric spewed by the local Taliban (I'm afraid, I have to include the likes of Dr Hassan Saeed in this), Anni could have easily chosen to plunge into feverish religious rhetoric himself.

Instead, he chose to make a public stand in favour of tolerant, moderate, traditional Islam. It is easy to underestimate the kind of courage it takes to do something like that in a society like the Maldives.

Where others like Velezinee and Ibra have repeatedly tried hard and failed, Anni succeeded in making the corrupt, runaway judiciary a subject of intense national debate, if only temporarily.

The Abdulla Ghazee episode proved to be his undoing. His activist bent of mind dictated, perhaps, that given the circumstances, the ends justified the means.

In a way, Anni has proved himself a sort of a soldier than a leader - more interested in building and preserving democracy than actually practicing it. This time, his big gamble failed.

Oftentimes in recent weeks, I have been forced to wonder whether it is worth preserving the 'Rule of Law' and the associated institutions - even when they are clearly dysfunctional and corrupt.Would the Maldivian public be better off with a benevolent, modernist dictator who can forcibly drag them in the direction of progress?

I hate to say that I can't answer it to this day.

One part of me understands how crucial it is to set proper democratic precedents in these early years. The other part of me sees not a ray of hope in the existing, corruption laden failure of a system - infested as it is by criminals and greedy businessmen consumed by avarice, and willing to burn society in the flames of violence and fundamentalism, if it means protecting their political or business interests.

Another thing that's constantly bothered me throughout the last couple of years is the lack of any credible opposition in the country - crooks and thieves with no apparent workable policies other than preventing the government from functioning in anyway.

It is not hard to see why the international community has been reluctant to back the opposition, or condemn President Nasheed's alleged excesses.

I truly dread to imagine bumbling idiots like Umar Naseer or Ahmed Mahfool (I'm sorry, I am unable to spell this guys name any other way) walk the hallways of power. This country simply cannot afford it.

But in a democracy, you have to live with what you get. And what you get is what you deserve. Maybe a stinking political system sustained by mindless personality cults, while masquerading as a 'democracy', is exactly what we deserve.

With the success of this coup, the Judiciary shall now instantly revert to being an instrument of political control and protection of the Gayoom clan and their cronies. I also predict that the local Taliban will again get a free run in spreading their hatred and paranoia, meeting even less resistance than the previous government. This is why I chose to use the word 'treason' in the title of this post. Traitors will now run our media and judiciary and other institutions.

As with every leadership change in Maldivian history, there'll be relentless efforts to demonize Anni in the coming days. From being a Zionist spy to a drunkard, he'll face every accusation.

And yet, despite all the flaws in his government, I sincerely believe that President Nasheed truly had great ambitions of going forward. The average Maldivian, however, insists on regressing. The relationship was bound to fail.

~Peace!

untitled

2012-02-04T06:01:00.000+05:00

to erase the god of ignorance;
to release from his dark clutches
bound prisoners of thought

to wipe away with reason
the blackness in their hearts,
and the darkness of their thoughts

science illuminates and reveals;
the futility of their prayers
and the battles that they fought

Citizen Sheep

2012-01-26T21:14:00.001+05:00

A Maldivian chronicler once recounted an anecdote of the late Prince Hassan Farid Didi who remarked back in the 1930’s that granting democracy to Maldivians is like giving a handkerchief to a monkey.

“The monkey doesn’t know what a handkerchief is used for and soon it will wipe its bottom with it” [Continue Reading]

[This piece was first published on Minivan News, 24 Jan 2012]

Pounding on an open door

2012-01-13T22:14:00.002+05:00

The world's largest Qur'an was unveiled in Kabul yesterday in the presence of senior clerics and government officials, who hailed it as a 'great achievement' for Afghanistan and Muslims around the world.

It took over 5 years to finish; 218 pages, with gilded letters and varied, intricate calligraphy designs on 7 feet long pages.

For five years, a calligrapher and his students toiled to produce a considerable work of art. It is beautiful and admirable by itself.. but strikes me as patently immoral and wrong given the larger picture.

It's the same nagging feeling I get when I see the Catholic Pope wearing a golden hat, sitting in his golden throne inside his giant palace, while preaching the words of a carpenter's son. I also feel the same when I'm inside a mosque with grand domes, high ceilings, plush carpets, and golden chandeliers.

Does this ostentatious display of extravagance and - in cruder terms, dick measuring - have anything to do with piety? How tall does a minaret have to be to impress God?

When you're in a war torn nation mired in corruption and violence, with Muslims killing each other and raping young boys.. you can't hail a giant book as an example of Islam.

It reminds me of the resonating words of one of the earliest Sufi poet saints, Rabi'a of Basra:

I carry a torch in one hand
And a bucket of water in the other:
With these things I am going to set fire to Heaven
And put out the flames of Hell
So that voyagers to God can rip the veils
And see the real goal.

~Peace!

How to multiply by 100

2012-01-09T21:56:00.001+05:00

The following horror story is based entirely on true events. Programmer discretion is advised.

Imagine a scenario where you have a number with 2 decimal places. Say, 799.00. But right at this moment, you don’t want that decimal point to be there.

In an ideal world, you would just multiply by 100 or something. The rest of humanity has done this for centuries without incident.

But this is not an ideal world. Far from it. This is a terrifying, cruel world with the madness pouring out of it like a burning clown juggling flamethrowers inside a cuckoo clock.

So, in this terrifying world, here’s how you do it:

First, you need to ensure that there’s a decimal point. (But of course!)

This is best accomplished by the brilliant method of first converting a calculated sum to an integer (no don’t leave!), then converting it into text and then slapping a “.00” to the end. Then, finally, reconverting the whole thingama back to a float.

There you go. There’s your decimal point. Stay with me here.

Now that all traces of logic and reason have been completely vaporized and teleported to another dimension, we may proceed.

The next step is to search and verify if there does indeed exist a decimal point - disregarding the 5 lines of code you just wrote where you manually formatted that crap to include a decimal and two zeros at the end.

(Hey, jinnis exist, and they can mess with your variables and shit)

Once you have confirmed that a decimal place does indeed exist (what are the chances?!) the next thing to do is to figure out the portion that precedes it. In a sane, logical world, you might accomplish this by using something like a simple truncate function. But hey, where’s the fun in that?

Instead, you take that float, and convert that shit right back to text again.

Now, use a text function to return everything except the last three places. (ha! c’mon. it’s not like we don’t already know that they’re just the decimal point followed by the 2 zeros... bwahaa! LOL! shh! ahem *serious face*)

Now, store this returned value into a carefully hidden, completely anonymous textbox that will, at various points, store a variety of such temporary marvels.

Why? Because, fuck variables. That’s why.

But coming back to the text.. Come to think of it. What if the two digits after the decimal point weren’t zeros? I mean, we did manually stick that “.00” to the end. But who knows?! (See: The aforementioned Jinnis)

Indeed. So with just that scenario in mind, we use another text function to retrieve the last two digits. And..wait for it... append it to whatever was in the textbox.

The decimal point is now history.

“But”, you might wonder, “couldn’t you just have removed the decimal place with a simple replace method - or even better, never have put in the darn thing in the first place?”

In fact, why are we doing any of this?

Because. The world has gone utterly, irrevocably mad. That’s why.

If, at this point, you haven’t already pulled a gun on yourself, congratulations. You could be the next Dalai Lama.

_

*sigh* Fun times maintaining old code.

Why won’t anyone kill me already?

~Peace!

Shaheem Scandal

2012-01-08T00:12:00.000+05:00

For the remaining two people who haven't heard yet, prominent Adhaalath Party cleric Mohamed Shaheem Ali Saeed is caught in a 'scandal'.

Raajje TV aired hidden camera footage of a grinning Sheikh Shaheem getting it on with some buruga clad female.

Now, I have yet to see a Maldivian who hasn't engaged in casual sex, but just look at this man's resume!

Served as Minister of State for Islamic Affairs
Pushed for the original draconian Religious Unity Regulations
Has led hundreds in Friday prayers at the country's central mosque
Prominent advocate of 'sharia' punishments such as flogging for 'adultery'
Vocally protested last month to 'protect Islam' against corrupting influences

Considering all that, it would be just too easy to join in and revel in the hilarity of the moment.

Instead, I'd like to remind Maldivians that this right here is the biggest problem with theocracy and "God's law" - we only have vain mortals around to implement it.

This is absolutely why we cannot have afford to have religion in politics; those in power who seek to impose rigid "morality" on others seldom apply these scruples to themselves.

Ghalib put it most appropriately:

"The Sheikh hovers by the tavern door,
but believe me, Ghalib,
I am sure I saw him slip in
As I departed."
_

~Peace!

No animal shall sleep in beds…with sheets.

2012-01-04T00:12:00.001+05:00

Would Maldivians who today complain of the rising prices of coffee willingly go back to living in huts, defecating by the sea, and starving in stormy weather? [Read more]

-

Published on Minivan News, 3 Jan 2012

2012.

2012-01-01T00:16:00.000+05:00

Happy New Year.

Guilt trips.

As a species, did we really get our priorities right this past year? Will we get them right next year?

Hope the next year brings less religion, and more empathy to my people.

~Peace.

The Intolerant Constitution

2011-12-24T20:16:00.002+05:00

12th century copper plate grants found in the Maldives reveal the blood-soaked, painful process of conversion of the Maldives to Islam. The Sultans of the day went through the trouble of bringing in Buddhist monks and beheading them in the capital.

The modern day Maldives takes a much simpler route. The 2008 Constitution unilaterally declares all Maldivians to be Sunni Muslim without the courtesy of so much as an opinion poll.

Maldivians in general are quite proud of the ‘100% Muslim’ statistic that is frequently bandied about. But it raises a few fundamental questions that are nevertheless extremely taboo in the Maldivian society.

At what point of Maldivian history has there ever been a public census on religion?

Does the Maldivian state even have the right to unilaterally declare a citizen’s beliefs? Which other Islamic State or Empire in Islam’s 1400 year old history has taken this liberty – and under whose authority? [Read more]

[My piece published on Minivan News, 21 Dec 2011]

Sun, Sand and Intolerance

2011-12-12T11:20:00.001+05:00

“We are entering the fourth year of democracy but unfortunately, many basic freedoms and rights have yet to be achieved for all Maldivians. It is unacceptable in this day and age that non-Muslim Maldivians are discriminated against in their own country,” he said. “This is their country as much as ours.”... [Read More]

A cowardly attack

2011-12-11T06:56:00.001+05:00

Yesterday, a bunch of 5 or so bearded thugs were sent to the Artificial Beach in Male' to attack a gathering of silent protesters who were seated in protest against the lack of Religious freedom in the Maldives.

And they did this.

And that.

Here's how it happened:

A group of non-anonymous, vocally liberal, secular-minded Maldivians reached out to each other on Facebook. (And no. I promise I was not involved this time)

They had the same concerns as any other thinking, humane and considerate human being in the world would have about the lack of religious freedom and the oppression of minorities in the Maldives. In particular, they took the example of Ismail Mohamed Didi, the young non-Muslim air traffic controller who was driven to suicide in July 2010 after facing immense social pressure from the Maldivian society.

Knowing full well the dangers of standing up for something in a society as pig-headed as the Maldives, they nevertheless went ahead and decided to stage a silent protest on the Human Rights day, demanding Freedom of Religion.

One of them, Dhona, made a short video to publicize the event, which of course caught the attention of intolerant nitwits, too many of whom have an internet connection.

It also caught the eye of 2 of our honourable MPs, who I shall not yet name. Let's just say they both belong to this certain political party that is run by a certain former autocratic ruler. (Yes, I can be very vague.)

Anyways. These 2 honorable MPs summoned Dhona via a mutual contact to a 'meeting' on Thursday to discuss what this planned protest was about. By the time she went, however, there was only one of them there.

Dhona told the MP exactly what had been planned - a group of Maldivians were going to gather at the Artificial beach, and sit in silent protest for the cause of freedom. The MP, for reasons not entirely clear to me, tried to dissuade her from "organizing" the event, going so far as to quote scripture. It didn't work.

On her way back, however, the mutual contact who had been present throughout the conversation told Dhona to avoid going to the assembly, as things could get ugly. He also told her, about 2 days in advance, that they would target Hilath.

Oh yeah. When I said the bearded thugs were sent, I did mean they were sent. By who, I do not know.

Anyway, the group wasnt' intimidated by the threat and went ahead with the plans. They assembled outside a fast food restaurant near the beach, as the main stage had been booked by a certain political party run by a former dictator.

Hilath called me at a few minutes past 4 to say there was a group meeting up and if I was joining. I would have, but I was busy working, so I didn't.

Less than 25 minutes later, I'm informed that he's seriously hurt. The hired pseudo-religious thugs arrived out of the blue. Without any provocation or notice, they went straight to attack Hilath, kicking him on the chest and aiming for the head with stones.

The fight in progress.

Dhona had the presence of mind to whip out her phone camera and start taking pictures, even as she was being threatened.

Hilath bled a lot, as seen in the pictures. In the struggle that ensued, some others suffered minor injuries.

The Police arrived, but by then the thugs had apparently left, but not before issuing more threats. One guy in particular, didn't like the fact that he was being photographed. In fact, he didn't like it to the extent that he has threatened to kill anyone who leaked his photograph.

So naturally, here's his photograph.

It's the least I could do to honour the wishes of a grown up man who's threatens a girl with harm

Even after the Police arrived, I'm told there was some confrontation. One man was openly threatening the girl with violence, saying the Police couldn't stop him. This was, of course, said within the policeman's earshot and he didn't do a thing. In the Maldives, religion gives everyone a license to threaten / hurt / kill.

Hilath was taken away on a friend's motor bike to the hospital where received stitches on his head.

Since the Police at the scene seemed to think it was too beautiful a day to engage in mundane tasks like gathering witnesses or taking statements, three of the attendees decided to go to the Police HQ itself to have the case reported.

They showed the cops pictures of the attack in progress, as well as the attackers. But the Police refused to take a statement from anyone except Hilath.

This is strange behaviour on their part because the rest of them were attacked and threatened as well, even in Police presence.

Even more startlingly, they refused to accept the photographs as evidence until they'd spoken to a 'superior officer'.

I presume the conversation went something like this:

"Sir! We have three key eye-witnesses from the public assault crime scene with multiple photographs of the crime in progress. Do you think we should take a look at it.. you know.. for evidence perhaps?"

"Yes, doofus bin Einstein."

"Sir! Y'ssir!"

Anyways, they called later in the night asking for the photographs, which, I'd like my fundie friends who're reading this to know have also been distributed to every media outlet and agency the FB group could think of.

Now, let's check the fundie social media checklist at this stage.

a) Passive aggressive name calling, with the tired old 'ladheenee' phrase. Check.

b) Faux outrage and chest thumping pseudo-nationalism and bravado. Check.

c) Too much information. Threats. Check.

So. It appears the cowardly attack on the silent, non-violent protesters today was entirely premeditated and planned.

It is just ironic when the so called practitioners of the 'religion of peace' show up in public to assault civilians, use swear words and threaten a girl.

I'm also a bit disturbed at the possible implication of a certain 2 MPs in this case, because the advance warning proves beyond all doubt that someone in their immediate circle knew it was coming.

Why? I don't know.

I have been told in no uncertain terms that I WILL come to harm, and stand a real risk of getting attacked / stabbed / hurt / mugged in public for writing this post and publishing these photographs.

I admit that made me consider this for a while. Say, about 20 seconds. But when you have cowardly thugs - no matter how well protected by politicians - coming up and harming unarmed civilians and my friends, and threatening an innocent girl with 'dire consequences', I'm afraid I cannot let it simply pass.

That would be too cowardly a thing for me. Even if I had to get stabbed for it. Which I absolutely expect to happen.

Here's one last picture from Facebook, of the alleged thugs.

~Peace!

P.S. Tell mom I love her.

warm up

2011-12-08T18:37:00.001+05:00

For all my alleged computer-savvy, I prefer sitting in a cafe' with a pen and notebook when I'm writing.

At least thrice in the last month, I have angrily scribbled long passages, jotting down my frustrations and wanting to know answers. But each time, my pen just falls silent from the sheer depressing nature of my words.

Seeing the unabashed bigotry, censorship and raging intolerance in my country has always been disheartening, but recently I've begun feeling the same sense of hopelessness that many people had warned me of before.

I've actually begun avoiding the local news to avoid the constant stream of boiling bullshit. I've tried writing about these things.. but it's just too disappointing. I'm beginning to think that if the Maldives wants to burn, let it burn. I'll just fiddle.

And yet, the burnt and broken SAARC monuments in Addu, the crass response to a well-intentioned speech by the UN Human Rights Chief, and the million-idiots march scheduled for later this month... all beget the question: how low can we stoop as a nation?

I often ask this question. But now I realize I don't really want to hear the answer.

_

A toll on liberal voices

2011-11-25T18:05:00.001+05:00

If Gayoom planted the seeds of religious intolerance, the harvest is now in full bloom under President Mohamed Nasheed's government.

Controversial preachers like Bilal Philips and Zair Naik, who have been turned away from other shores, were brought in to preach at heavily publicised and nationally televised public lectures. Where there was once a vague fear of Christian missionaries, there is now a full-blown paranoia and open hostility towards non-Muslims, visible in the form of a strong backlash to the mildest of provocations...[Read More]

_

My article on the growing censorship and religious intolerance in the Maldives. [Himal Southasia, 25th November 2011]

Censorship again.

2011-11-19T12:38:00.001+05:00

The other day, I alerted Hilath that his website was not accessible.

He wasn't in Male' at the time and sounded surprised, and said he would check with his webmaster and respond to me.

Sure enough I got the following SMS the next day:

"Dhiraagu has sent an e-mail to my webmaster saying my website has been officially blocked due to an offical request from Telecommunication Authority of Maldives"

According to him, the email sent by his hosting provider gave no reasons for the ban, nor any word on who originally demanded the censorship.

A Sun Online report the next day, however, carried a statement from TAM saying that the ban was carried out at the behest of the Islamic Ministry, which is run by the same Adhaalath party mullahs who are often heavily criticized by Hilath in his posts.

This is worrying for several reasons. When a so-called democratic government assumes the power to unilaterally silence its critics without any notice, then you know that tyranny has taken hold.

It is even more alarming when you realize that this was no formal media organization or news website. It was a citizen's personal blog that has been shut down by the self-appointed gatekeepers of Islam.

Now, Hilath's blog needs no introduction.

The man has been pushing the boundaries of free expression in the Maldives, speaking openly about fanatic wahhabism, gay rights, and the all-round hypocrisy of the Maldivian state - a country that has in recent weeks virtually become unadulterated pornography for anyone who gets off on intolerance and bigotry.

At least the burnt, smashed and petrol bombed remains of the SAARC monuments in Addu could be explained away as the actions of crazy fundie idiots who are incapable of reasoning, and whose hatred and paranoia is known to explode into all-too-familiar violence and destruction.

But when a government run by the Maldivian "Democratic" Party, led by President Nasheed who was once a condemned journalist himself, goes about censoring websites and silencing critics, then it is time to sit up and take notice.

This isn't, after all, the first time this government has clamped down on free speech. In the first few months after coming to power, the government shut down a dhivehi language Christian website and several other websites critical of the Adhaalath party mullahs.

Apart from this, the government intelligence agencies continue to spy on citizens' personal communications and police personnel have been discovered to anonymously harass ordinary citizen bloggers, including me.

Today, the hollowness of Anni's promises of making the Maldives 'a haven for dissident writers' lies exposed.

Instead, the message is quite clear: kneel down before the Islamists in the government, or they will gag you and force you into submission.

If anyone still has any illusions that we're living in a democratic state, they can lose them now.

~Peace!

Sun Online feels threatened by Jesus

2011-11-08T18:42:00.001+05:00

A Sun Online magazine report I read today suggests that at least one of its reporters has begun seeing Jesus Christ in SAARC promotional posters hung at airports and other public spots around the country.

Source: Sun Online

According to the report, images of Jesus were accompanied by the slogan "building burijus", which is no doubt some kind of secret, subliminal Zionist code for leading pious Maldivians astray.

Being a responsible news media, Sun Online protects its readers from Jesus by publishing a poor quality photograph of the offending banner clumsily placed on one side (which I have reproduced here cropped and rotated 90° in Paint, out of concern for your necks)

This might seem funny to my average reader, but I assure you this is no laughing matter.

As I have previously pointed out on this blog, Maldivians are perhaps the world's truest Christians - being the only population in the world that is seemingly just one visual stimulus away from dropping their Islamic pretenses and following in the path of Jesus, their Lord and Saviour.

The Sun Online reporter, for instance, notes that his magazine was being contacted by "concerned citizens" who were no doubt beginning to question their Islamic faith after seeing the prophetic images of Jesus popping up everywhere.

According to Mooinc, the design consultants who came up with the concept, the banners attempt to capture the theme of cultural and religious diversity in South Asia, which I'm shocked to learn actually consists of several countries that are not the Maldives, and not all of whom are '100%' genetically coded Muslims.

Maybe it is just me, but I can also easily spot a Buddhist chakra and other religious motifs in the same picture that Sun Online has published. But clearly, the power of Christ compels this Maldivian reporter to ignore everything else, and focus the headline exclusively on the Kimono-wearing awesomeness of Jesus.

This conforms completely to the prevailing theory that if Maldivians were to convert away from Islam, it will automatically be into the welcoming arms of Christ.

Thus we have the Kasauti generation of Maldivian women who can sit through hours of Ekta Kapoor produced bullshit on TV, yet remain completely impervious to the constant stream of Hindu religious rites, rituals and deities that are often depicted in them.

But an image of Christ hanging at the airport? Call in the National Guard!

Wait. Turns out the National Defense force is in Addu and - holy crap! Are those sniffer DOGS?!

That guy in the middle alone would make any bomb disarm itself. Just saying.

[Source: Haveeru Online]

Here's another interesting fact about Maldivians: We show a remarkable immunity to any seduction attempts from Hindus / Buddhists... but our collective will crumbles before the overwhelming power of dogs.

Dogs are right up there with Jesus Christ in their ability to shatter the average Maldivian's religious beliefs.

To be very clear, the average Maldivian runs into stray dogs all the time when visiting neighboring countries like India and Sri Lanka, and the worst that happens is some mild amusement.

But just as with Jesus, the Pope and the Cross - the same dogs gain magical powers once they land on Maldivian soil.

The sniffer dogs brought in for security purposes at Addu, for instance, have become controversial enough to attract multiple reports in the local media.

Even the MNDF officials are at pains to convince a wary public that these infidel dogs will be handled only by their Sri Lankan handlers because quite conceivably, the dogs might magically pass on the kaafir to our innocent MNDF personnel and, I presume, turn them homosexual.

You already see one guy taking pictures of our infantry's posteriors

[Source: Haveeru Online]

Clearly, our Zionist overlords have once again come up with a clever plan to disrupt the country's religious unity with magic Jesus banners, and they've also infiltrated our Defense forces with canine warriors, but I'm glad that our media - and at least one Sun Online reporter - is right there on the front lines, risking everything to bring us crucial, timely reports on issues of such national importance as banners hanging in airports.

~Peace!

Audible words

2011-11-05T03:31:00.002+05:00

Tonight, on an impulse, I decided to download and listen to an audiobook.

Somehow the idea of being read to rather than reading has never really appealed to me. I've tried listening to Podcasts and such before, but got bored quite quickly every time.

Reading remains one of the most satisfying things I do. The idea that I can create entire worlds, characters, plots and emotions in my head that are different from what anybody else imagined while parsing the same written symbols is just fascinating. (It also explains why I almost always hate the movies based on the books I like)

But tonight, I downloaded Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes - and listened to a female voice narrating 'A Case of Identity' as the good Dr. Watson.

And I admit. It turned out to be kind of nice.

After over a decade of desperately trying to figure out how to read my books while also dealing with the mundane but inescapable chores that life throws at us, this seems to be quite an elegant solution.

Right now, I'm working at a decent pace while also simultaneously listening to Steve Jobs' biography - and I'm surprised to know that I'm able to do both effortlessly.

Like Jobs himself is purported to have said: "I've finally cracked it!"

~Peace!

Black October

2011-10-31T02:08:00.000+05:00

This is kind of a personal post. There's probably nothing funny in here, and there's a good chance you might not even change your sexual preferences at the end of it. In other words, a complete waste of a blog post. Proceed with caution.

It's not every day you see a battle-weary blogger reduced to making emo posts on his once purposeful blog.

But this is no ordinary month. And I want to make sure I record this for future reference.

October has been by far the worst month of this year. Considering how I've still barely healed from the terrible wounds inflicted by February and May, that's saying quite something. At the end of it, I find myself tired, my self-esteem broken, my productivity dead and my reputation in tatters.

Right in the first week of this month, after I realized I wasn't getting any better at feeling comfortable in larger groups, I ended up canceling all my attempts at socializing. Somehow, things only got worse from there.

For some reason, I've been plagued by a feeling of despondency. I would literally sit with a utterly basic problem for hours without making the slightest headway, knowing full well that the normal me could tackle it in seconds.

There was a particularly bad week or two where, despite a deadline whooshing by, my mind just refused to focus on work. Considering how work is pretty much the only thing I have left to do anymore, you can imagine how shitty this can get. I'd sit all day and all night seeing bits of code dance in front of my eyes - and things just blurring into each other.

October thus became an endless ordeal of frustration, desperation, shame and guilt (refer the aforementioned deadline)

Then there's the sleeplessness.

For a couple of weeks, I averaged less than 2 hours of sleep per night. I would go to bed at dawn, and wake up startled just minutes later thinking I'd overslept. And this would continue to happen every few minutes. A week later, I found myself going to bed with just a little under an hour before I had to report to work again.

What makes it particularly worse is that I'm unable to quite explain to a third person, say my poor boss, why I'm so messed up.

'Wow. How come you're taking so long to do something this basic?'
I... don't... know.
'Is something wrong?'
Yes..?
'What is it?'
I.. don't.. know.

Like I've said before - in any decently run universe, my ass would have been fired twice over already.

One office-mate who I spoke to about my problem has suggested that this could be depression. But I don't feel particularly upset over anything. I've trained myself not to think about anyone or anything that would bring back bad memories.

In order to deal with this, I've mentally associated the 'bad' period with October - and I'm feeling slightly better knowing the month's come to an end. In fact, I've physically felt myself getting better - and there are increasingly moments where I feel suddenly in control.

The week long holidays in November should give me a chance to take a breather, step back, reboot and then get back into it with some semblance of normalcy.

But for now, I am full of regret over the wasted, terrible days of this terrible, terrible month.

~Peace!

[P.S. - I'm longing to once again lie on a beach at night, watching the stars fall. With any luck, I'll get myself to do this in the holidays]

:-(

2011-10-20T00:11:00.001+05:00

Distracted. Demotivated. Tired. Listless. Lonely.

The pits.

DhiTV fails at Science, Reporting

2011-10-17T00:16:00.001+05:00

Misinformation is a plague.

Tonight, DhiTV reported that a Swedish "scientist" had made an announcement at a conference in India that suggests Anni was lying about climate change and the threat of sea-level rise.

The reporter then plunged into a long report about how 'scientists' now claimed that it is proven beyond doubt that sea-levels are not rising in the Indian Ocean, and if anything, it was actually receding causing islands to grow in size.

Resorting to the time tested use of clever weasel words, the report also helpfully added that "some people" were now claiming that President Nasheed was only making these tall claims abroad to boost his personal image.

'Some people' tell me DhiTV is a filthy, irresponsible, misinforming propaganda outlet that is clueless about Journalism

(Not my view, of course)

What DhiTV failed to mention was that Nils-Axel Mörner, the said "Swedish Scientist", is a known climate-change denialist - and has been thoroughly discredited by the mainstream scientific community.

His claims carry weight among the ignorant due to the fact that he was former Chairman of the International Union for Quaternary Research's (INQUA) Commission on Sea Level Changes and Coastal Evolution.

But INQUA itself has distanced itself from his remarks, and said in a letter that "Nearly all of these researchers agree that humans are modifying Earth’s climate, a position diametrically opposed to Dr. Mörner’s point of view."

More interestingly, this 'scientist' is also into the medieval practice of dowsing.

This means that this man rejects overwhelming evidence and scientific data (that has convinced every other climate scientist in the world) as 'the greatest lie ever told", but he genuinely believes he can detect water and precious stones by holding a Y-shaped stick over it.

Curiously, however, he continues to generously refuse James Randi's million dollar offer for proving his supernatural abilities.

It's a shame when a so-called 'News' channel fails to properly present relevant facts, just so it can push its own political narrative.

Because of DhiTV's lack of journalistic ethics or responsibility, a lot of their viewers will sadly go to bed tonight a little more ignorant than before.

~ Peace!

Lessons

2011-10-07T04:12:00.000+05:00

A girl I once knew spoke of being inspired by the line 'Happiness is a habit'. Somehow, I never got the meaning.

But I am increasingly aware that loneliness is an addiction.

.