T-S Blogs

Therapy: Grandma's Potato Problem

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:05:23 -0700

This is one of my favorite childhood stories. Now that I have some new readers, I thought I would share it again in order to provide some more psychological abuse!

Have you ever had a childhood memory, that when you really thought about it, was just a little weird? It seems like I have quite a few of those but this particular memory is well, disturbing. And, it's guaranteed to probably buy me a space in Hell, especially after Uncle R reads about his involvement and realizes I'm giving up a family secret that should have died ages ago.

When I was a little girl, my paternal grandmother was a breast cancer survivor. She was faced with getting a mastectomy and back then, reconstructive surgery really wasn't an option so women were supplied with prosthetic breasts. My grandmother's big round squishy breast was kept in the top drawer of her vanity. I don't know why she kept it in a drawer rather than in her blouse, but then again, sometimes Grandma liked to drink her dinner rather than eat it.

Uncle R and I both knew where she kept her booby prize and would often peek in the drawer to check it out, occasionally poking it with a curious finger. We each had a thing for its silky, squishy texture and we would prod it for hours (kind of like a kid's stress reliever ball - but weirder). We eventually got braver and on some days, we freed the little critter from its dark abyss, in order to just hold it for a few minutes of guilty pleasure.

One day, while Uncle R and I were visiting Grandma, we found her lone hooter lying on the bathroom counter, looking rather forlorn and lost. Our little brains worked in symphony and mischievous thoughts raced through our heads; a game of hot potato would certainly entertain her little friend while providing us with hours of endless enjoyment. Back and forth, side to side, we flung that cantaloupe size piece of squishy fun into the air, all the while listening for any evidence that Grandma might be stumbling up the creaky steps. Hearing nothing, our quiet chuckles quickly turned into gut busting belly laughter that echoed throughout the second floor bathroom. Over and over, we pelted each other with the voluminous sphere, until we were left with fresh red abrasions wherever our tender skin was exposed.

I don’t know how long Grandma was watching before she finally cleared her throat and made it known that she did not approve of our new sports activity, however, I’m guessing it was for awhile – judging by the sting left on our little butts and the threat of a “report” being made to our dad. All in all, Grandma never did make the dreaded “report” to our dad and we were let off with a warning. It never really stopped us from periodically checking in on our new little buddy, but we certainly never allowed it to become airborne again.

Therapy: How I Spent My Friday Night - A Story Of Danger

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 09:38:33 -0700

Now that I've captured your attention, here is a blow by blow of how I spent my exciting Friday night. I've placed it into chronological list fashion, in order to enhance the excitement. I've even added military time to give you a feeling of intrigue.

1830: Finished up at the carnival after watching Taters vomit up greasy, frothy french fries. She had taken a horrific ride on the Gravitron after I told her I didn't think it would suit her tummy. It took me a second to realize it was my kid throwing up - and stop laughing. I told her so!

1900: Dodged crazy drunk men and women on quads, and successfully made it home.

1930: Started editing more wedding photos with the help of Corona Light. She's a helpful gal.

2000: Editing and playing on Facebook.

2030: The editing program is open but so is my Facebook, Myspace, and Pandora.

2031: Caught a drunk guy in my front yard, trying to use my driveway as a short cut to the neighbor's beer. He was greeted by a stern warning and a garden hose. I apologized to Hubby for not allowing him to do some yelling but when you're good at something, it's hard to give up the power.

2033: Drunk guy is back, and hovering by the fenceline bushes. I grab the garden hose and cover him again, threatening to unleash a flurry of unfiltered stinky well water should he choose to cross the threshold of my homestead. He instantly puts his hands up and says he just wanted to apologize. Oops, my bad. I let drunk guy go and released my grip on the garden hose.

2035: Time for Corona Light's sister, Apricot Ale.

2100: Back to editing. And Facebook. But mainly editing.

2100 - 2300: Still editing and entertaining the beer sisters with Facebook.

2301: The drunk neighbors show up on ATV's with 50 of their closest friends. The bon fire is lit and the drunken country karaoke singing ensues.

2330: The singing is continuing and I feel as though Kenny Chesney is my livingroom, screaming at me about some stupid beach. I can feel his breath on my cheek - oh wait, maybe that was just the cat wanting out. The beer sisters made me have a little trouble confirming this fact.

0001 - 0200: The party is in full swing and some jackass is blaring a modified truck horn from his little Toyota. I don't know what is so exciting at this time of morning, but someone is whooping and hollering. I play Gladys Kravitz and peek out my front door, clucking my tongue in disapproval. Or, it could be the dry mouth the beer sisters were giving me. I continue on with my editing. And Facebook.

0230: I'm flippin' exhausted and someone has just turned up the stereo on the truck in the neighbor's yard. I stomp into the bedroom to wake Hubby up and ask if he could hear the music. He informs me he hadn't until I had so kindly woken him up.

0233: I look up neighbor's phone number and in my best friendly, 0230ish voice, ask him to have his party goers turn the music down. He calls me "Sweetie" several times, so I think he still loves me. Afterall, he's normally the word's best neighbor.

0300: I'm finally asleep and the faint sounds of Merle Haggard bounce around in my head. I occasionally hear a yell or two and that damn truck horn, but the beer sisters tell me to shut up and go back to sleep.

0830: Awake! Thanks Gunny. I know Noggin doesn't play on your TV but good lawd, son, Mommy needs her sleep!

How was your Friday night?

Become a Better Father: Test

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:21:15 -0700

Test

Therapy: Rodeo Week; One Redneck's Celebration

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:15:47 -0700

Judging by the sound of country music, racing ATV's and the whoopin' and hollerin' coming from the neighbors, I suspect rodeo week has hit the town of Fortuna. As I sat here today, editing endless wedding photos from a June shoot, I watched a bazillion jacked up trucks pass by my house, stuffed full of cowboy and cowgirls, heading on over to the world's best neighbor's house. I really love my neighbor, but this time of year causes the man to go a bit insane. We're talking tents in the front yard, tons of picnic tables with last years booze and food still stuck to the tops, Garth Brooks screaming over his stereo speakers, endless amounts of Natural Ice, and of course, drunk cowboys and cowgirls showing the Valley how to live it up.

I carefully watched him today, out in the front yard with twenty of his best friends, setting up temporary Humboldt condos. He caught my eye and offered to put some tents up in our yard. I smiled, thanking him for his thoughtfulness and promptly turned him down. If his three day party is anything like it was last year, I expect to look out my livingroom window and seem him at some point, passed out cold on a picnic table while the rest of the revelers continue to party and dance around him. It's kinda like something from "Lord of the Flies" - some sort of redneck spiritual revelry that I simply do not understand.

I anticipate the happenings to pick up full force once Friday hits and the ATV riders get ready for the Quadiator event at the rodeo arena. What could be better than excessive amounts of alcohol, too much testosterone, and men with bats chasing other men with balloons on their head, in an effort to pop the balloon? Nothing I can think of! Whoever thought of this event is a pure genius and I thank him or her for the entertainment. It's sure to get the party started.

Well, enough complaining for now. I need to go find a clean pair of Daisy Dukes, my favorite beer koozie, and of course, some fresh possum meat to bring for the BYORK (Bring Your Own Road Kill) BBQ at the neighbors'. Heck, if you can't beat'em, JOIN'EM!

Den of Jen: The Soy Controversy, Revisited

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 21:44:19 -0700

The website "Women to Women" has an interesting article on the use of soy in women's diets, especially menopausal or post-menopausal women:

New health information on the safety and health benefits of soy

Den of Jen: Martha Stewart's Twitter Sugar Cookie Recipe

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 19:17:42 -0700

Martha Stewart has more than 1 million followers on Twitter. Here's the Sugar Cookie recipe -- or rather, Twecipe -- that she recently "tweeted."

(Twitter, for the novice, is an online service for sending short messages -- no more than 140 characters are allowed, hence the service is ideal for receiving text messages on a Web-enabled phone as well as online. If someone "follows" you on Twitter, that means they have signed up to receive any 140-character message you "tweet." Recipe "tweeters" enjoy the challenge of condensing a recipe to texting-type abbreviations. For those of us who need a little help, myself included, I have attempted to translate it into Recipenglish.)

MARTHA'S SUGAR COOKIES

BestSugarCookies beatLBbut &3Csug+2egg+tvanil& 1.5tSalt+5CFlour /into2wrap&chillRoll.25“Cut/15m@350F

JEN'S TRANSLATION

Best Sugar Cookies

Beat 1 pound butter, 3 cups sugar, 2 eggs, 1 teaspoon vanilla, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt and 5 cups flour. Divide into two pieces, wrap and chill them. Roll out to 1/4-inch thick. Cut into shapes. Bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Therapy: Redding; A Gastric Adventure

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 17:05:30 -0700

We took the kids on a quick jaunt to Redding over the weekend. Since Hubby had to work late, we ended up taking two different cars, with me ending up with the three munchkins. My kids are normally good travelers, but it's still about 50/50 if you will see vomit on our drives. I have very sympathetic pukers, so we make sure to take our time and make frequent stops.

Prior to leaving for the trip, Hubby and I decided not to tell the monsters about the trip. It's so hard to let them know in advance because if we do, each day is broken down into twenty million questions about when we're leaving, how many more days, about how many minutes until, and so on. It drives us freakin' bonkers. I scurried about the house, hiding bags, dodging questions about missing swimsuits, and otherwise trying to be a mommy ninja. It worked and they were only informed of the trip when they got into the car and saw two sheets of Chuck E. Cheese coupons waiting for them. It doesn't take long for Chuck E. Cheese hints to set in.

The ride went great and we only had to stop once; the double dose of Triaminic did wonders. The first place we hit was In-N-Out where C-dub proclaimed it was the "bestest" food he'd ever tasted. He was so enchanted with the burgers and fries he proclaimed the place should win some sort of food award, as he was walking out the front door. Before the food could settle in and the kids (or I, for that matter) could get full, we raced over to Coldstone Creamery and partook amongst the world's best ice cream. They have a new flavor called Chocolate Cake Batter. If you love the original cake batter flavor and you even remotely enjoy chocolate, drop what you're doing now and go. Run, swim, power walk, or drive, and do what it takes to get your arse to Coldstone. It was that good.

After rolling ourselves out of Coldstone, we checked into the hotel and I took a quick scan of the swimming pool area. There were only a handful of guests, so I decided it was safe to break out my swimsuit with the kiddies. You wanna see it? I know you do. It's only natural to be curious...

I looked good...

The hotel had a really nice swimming pool, big hot tub, and a fun toddler pool that stayed oddly warm no matter what time of day. Plus, they had pool side bar service which I decided to try out once I had Hubby there as parental back-up.

Once my mermaid and mermen were done swimming, we headed back up to the room to wait for Hubby to arrive. I herded the kids into the bathroom to de-chlorinate themselves. As Gunny walked across the bathroom, I noticed he was leaving a little blood trail. He noticed too and instantly started to yell, "Momma! I'm bledding on dah floor!" He had previously cut one of his little toes and the wound had reopened up during his backstroke.

While applying pressure and trying to talk him into the benefits of a band aid, I heard Taters start to cough. During last weekend's camping trip, she had developed a nasty head cold that result in a lasting seal bark which sometime violently triggered her gag reflex. I walked back into the bathroom just in time to see her upchucking her Coldstone. I lunged forward and helf her hair back - all the while pretending I was in laying out on a white sands beach in Mexico with a bucket of chilled Coronas.

C-dub, who was still lounging in the tub, seemed to not even notice his bleeding brother and gagging sister. Rather, when the chaos settled down, he asked me, "Mom, why is der a naked yady staring at me?"

I did a double take and followed his gaze from his seated position in the tub, and this is what I saw:

A rather crispy edged, 2008 Playboy, probably placed there by some little perverted teenage boy, trying to hide his bath time fun from Momma. C-dub was very interested in what I was going to do with the Playboy, so I threw it up on the top shelf in the closet. Hopefully, I could share some love with the next family with small children - just as we had experienced.

Once I contained the blood, puke, and mild porn, I left Hubby several text messages advising him of the liquor I would need in order to proceed with the weekend. He happily obliged me and arrived at our room just prior to midnight. What a friggin' relief.

The next morning, we made our way to the Turtle Bay Exploration Park and Sundial Bridge. This is the second time we have visited Turtle Bay and we love it there. Lots of exhibits, tons of things to see and do with the kids, and excellent air conditioning provide for a super fun time. When we visited this time, they had a special viewing of "Sue" the T-Rex:

They also had an awesome exhibit of Lego structures:

And his butt (ha!):

After the indoors stuff, we visited some of the outside exhibits, including the aviary. I think this was probably C-dub's and Tater's favorite spot. I love birds but having this many birds in one spot and all the aerial poop freaked me out a tad. I also kept get accosted or molested (not sure which one applies) by a little red parrot who loved my camera. Here's the little perv:

And his little pervy friends:

You could buy little feed sticks for a $1, and the little suckers quickly became your best friends:

We then went to my favorite place which is the butterfly house. It's a big greenhouse type setting and there are butterflies everywhere! C-dub is not too big on the butterfly scene, so he guided up through with the butterfly information sheet the worker provided to us. By the time we left, he proclaimed himself to be an expert on butterfly identification.

My favorite shot of the day - found outside the butterfly house!

Prior to leaving, we walked across Sundial Bridge. It has a frosted glass bottom which makes it very interested yet terrifying to walk across:

I gave Taters my back-up camera to shoot with. We fought all afternoon for shots, but I let her have this one :-):

After we left Turtle Bay, we spent a few hours being tormented at Chuck E. Cheese. The kids had a blast and we were all exhausted by the time we got back to the room. Unfortunately, the sight of the pool was similar to what a shot of caffeine might do and the kids were once again raring to go. And that's pretty much how we spent the rest of the weekend - in and out of the pool. It was a fun weekend but I'm so glad we're home. I think our traveling is done for the summer - at least until hunting season opens.

Therapy: Things That Entertain...

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 15:50:32 -0700

...my children currently. I think the skating baby one is just freakin' creepy. And hilarious to hear Gunny imitate Charlie's brother with his own English accent.

Therapy: Punta Gorda

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 22:49:38 -0700

Last weekend, Hubby and I packed up the 'ol Winnebago and took our brood out to A.W.Way Park, located in the beautiful town of Petrolia in the Mattole River Valley. I must tell you that I am in love with this area and truly believe it's one of the best places on Earth to visit. It's located about a little over an hour out of Ferndale (depending on which way you go and how familiar you are with the road) and about 20 minutes away from the gorgeous Lost Coast and Pacific ocean. The road is a little sphincter puckering in portions and you may have to occasionally share your lane of travel with a mad heifer or crazy sheep - but it's entirely worth it.

My family decided to take a break from constant swimming and s'more making, to take a hike out out to Punta Gorda. This gorgeous lighthouse was deactivated back in 1951, but still stands today as a reminder of it's hard work keeping sailors and boats safe off of Windy Point.

Punta Gorda was was originally nicknamed the "Alcatraz" of lighthouses, due to it's rustic location and difficult surroundings. I would have to say I totally I agree with this analogy because it's not at all easy to get to. You can access the lighthouse by following the Lost Coast Trail or by accessing BLM property and taking the "short" cut. You need a four wheel drive and the rough gravel road takes you over the tops of windy ridges and through some very beautiful, yet terrifyingly steep scenery. Can you tell I'm just a tad bit of an Acrophobiac? To access either way, you'll need to turn onto Lighthouse Road, just outside of Petrolia.

Here is the "short cut" down to the beach:

Taters kept stopping to admire the various plants and rocks strewn about the trail. I had to reminder her to keep moving so that I could keep my lunch down. Between the heights and bumpy road, my stomach was a tad bit unhappy.

As you can tell from the pics, it was very foggy that day, which is common for this location. The nice thing though, was that the wind was very minimal which is also a rarity for the Lost Coast. It made for a very comfortable hike.

Once you get to the beach, this is what you'll find:

People actually live in the above two cabins. From what I heard, they park at the top of the point and take the same trail we had traversed to access their home. I think I'd seriously consider a helicopter or some sort of Star Trek Transporter if I lived here. I couldn't handle that walk every day although you'd be guaranteed buns of steel after just a week or so.

Further along the beach, you'll find great tide pooling, seals, sea otters, and a plethora of cool rocks and shells. We made sure to keep our distance from the seals as many of them appeared to be angry or pregnant mommas, not too keen with us trekking through their home. We were super excited to see what appeared to be a baby sea otter scampering up the beach. It quickly hid itself under driftwood, and we kept walking to avoid ankle bites from momma.

Our buddies, Miss K and Miss M loved the tidepooling:

As you get farther down the beach, you'll want to hop up on the Lost Coast Trail so you can see this:

The lighthouse is in really good shape. The kids certainly loved exploring it and took turns climbing the ladder to the top in order to see the amazing views:

It's a tight fit at the top of the ladder and if you're not a size 5 or negative A cup, it's kind of a challenge to wedge yourself into the tiny opening. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this fact with you, other than Miss K and I had an interesting conversation with our hubbies about it. I know, TMI, Sandi, TMI.

After exploring the lighthouse and surrounding cement pads, we took a couple of family shots and made our way back:

Our buddies:

And us:

I didn't take any pics of us walking back because I was breathing so hard that I fogged up my lens and sunglasses. What was a rather quick jaunt down, was a long-ass walk back. I stopped numerous times to "check the children," even though they were way ahead of me. I gotta get my butt into better shape or seriously look into that Transporter.

What fun things are you doing this summer?

Therapy: To My Girlfriends...

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:17:59 -0700

Sorry guys, but this one is for the ladies...special thanks to my friend, Carolyn, for sharing it with me.

Words For Women To Live By...

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.

2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.

3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.

4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!

5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).

6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.

8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.

9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.

11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.

12. Remember where ever there is a good looking; sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullschat!

13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.

14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

'Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there' 'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live for today'. Now smile and send to any girl wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from life , that might need a reason to smile!

Become a Better Father: Cool and Refreshed Website

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 11:01:10 -0700

Hey...Check out the new BecomeaBetterFather.com website.
Free and cool stuff and easy to navigate.
Podcasts, movies, and a Free Goal Setting Roadmap to your compelling life Plan.
Stop by today!

Therapy: An Early 4th Of July Thanks

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:54:12 -0700

God bless America. Thank you to all those who serve or have served, and prayers to those who have protected us by making the ultimate sacrifice.

Therapy: A Campin' We Will Go!

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 21:25:44 -0700

I'm so excited...tomorrow we're leaving for a three night, four day camping trip in God's country (Petrolia - in case you didn't know). We haven't been anywhere as a family for a long time, probably since last year's camping trip:

It's funny how difficult and time consuming planning for a camping trip can be; I've made two separate trips to Safeway this week alone, just for our "simple" camping trip. Unlike our more sophisticated friends, we've yet to make the jump to a trailer or camper and we stick to our two room tent and ten layers of padded flooring. The kids dig it and I actually don't mind it. It's amazing to take the "ceiling" off at night and look at the shooting stars - or maybe they're just passing satellites - but who really cares 'cuz they still look pretty nifty. Try doing that in your RV!

I'm actually having a little anxiety about this trip because it was my idea to go in the first place. I tend to be the one who stays at home on major holiday weekends but I knew with the upcoming events, this might be the only long weekend we'd have available for camping. I'm hoping things aren't too crazy and that our fellow campers can tolerate our redneck ways for a couple of days at least.

Hopefully, there will be no public displays of nudity like last year:

And certainly, no more debauchery with water balloons in the sports bra:

Or complete messes made of adorable faces:

Things might be gettin' a bit ugly (again) this year but it will be fun. What are your plans for the 4th? Are you crazy like us and braving the crowds? Or, do you prefer a quiet evening at home, blowing off your digits with family?

Therapy: Louise - The Big Cheese

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:10:48 -0700

The hazards of having an excellent huntress in the house (a.k.a. Gracie the kitteh kat), has been wearing on our family lately. Gracie seems to really enjoy supplying "her" brood with breakfast, lunch, and even dinner, consisting of whatever may be wandering around under our front porch. She was so gracious to us the other night, that she brought in a young mouse I'm sure she planned on making into some sort of mousy sushi role. C-dub found her bounty, carefully wrapping it up in a paper towel and eventually bringing it to me.

"Mom! Look what Gracie killed this time. A rat!" as he pushed the napkin into my face. Not the best thing to be unprepared for - especially if you're not a huge fan of the rodent kind.

I carefully unwrapped his bundle and inspected the little body, preparing myself for a bloody pile of gore or even worse, some sort of kangaroo rat prepared to jump on me with rabid fangs. Instead, I found a tiny little brown mouse, still warm and softly breathing. It looked like Gracie had given it quite the spit job as it's fur was peaked in patches and it's little beady were tightly shut.

I folded the napkin back up and thought for a second on what to do.

"C-dub, the little fella is still alive. Gracie didn't kill it."

I could see the innerworkings of C-dub's and Taterbug's minds; suuhhhwwwwhhhhheeeettt!!! A new family pet! Gunny could care less and in fact, ordered his Grandpa to throw the mouse out to the dogs. He tends to not be attracted to cute little fuzzy things.

Quashing the kid's longing for a new pet, I told him that I didn't think the little fella would probably make it. Cradling the mouse, I contemplated putting it back outside to let nature take it's course. It was cold and windy outside and I knew it wouldn't take long for either the elements or even the rooster, to hunt it down. As I watched it struggle, I couldn't help but kick into mothering mode and begin to feel sorry. So much so, that I crafted a mouse ICU out of an old treasure box, and placed it on my kitchen counter. Totally unsanitory, but you're looking at a broad who hatching call ducks on her kitchen table. That's what Chlorox wipes are for and it's all the more reason to eat dinner on the couch.

For the next 24 hours, we carefully watched and took care of the little guy. Our "care" consisted of lifting the lid to see if it had drank any of the water or had moved from it's side position. It wasn't much but the kids and I decided we were at least giving it a better chance at life than should we have placed it back out into the wild. The mouse eventually worked into the name "Louise the Big Cheese" and the kids contemplated what she might look like fully grown - even though they seemed to understand she probably wouldn't make it to adulthood.

On the morning of the second day, we found Louise curled up, and no longer in pain. It was decided we would bury her in my front planter bed, amongst the gladiolis I had recently planted. After I dug the hole and placed the tiny body inside of it, I asked the kids if they wanted to say anything.

C-dub's reply was, "Louise. She was a good mouse."

And onto mouse heaven she went. Although sad, I was proud of how the kiddos accepted her fate and helped to say goodbye. I don't think Gunny ever caught on with what happened and his only concern was whether or not the dogs like the "ouse." He can be such a little hard headed turd.

I'm looking into turned Gracie onto the vegan lifestyle. Anyone know where they make soy mouse or tuna flavored hummus?

Therapy: Tuesday Talk

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:16:01 -0700

At a loss for a complete story, here are some Tuesday ramblings for ya...

1. Taters has recently developed a longing to cook some Tilapia. The problem is, she hates fish and she only got the dang idea off of a Nintendo DS game. She recently told me, "Mom, I think I'm gonna start trying to eat more fish this summer. I'm gonna make myself not think about those little things swimming in a bath of their own filth and breathing in their own pee and poop." Then she suddenly reconsidered, "Um, yeah, like that will ever happen Mom!" I guess my kitchen is safe for now.

2. We visited Ocean World (Crescent City) over the weekend. While waiting for the big kids to pet the sharks, I suddenly felt a tug at my pant leg and heard Gunny say, "Mommy, can ya hold dis?" As I looked down, I saw him half naked, handing me his jacket and t-shirt, all the while slowly trying to put his leg over the edge of the shark tank. Gunny, we don't swim with the sharks; we just pet them. Gosh he's fast.

3. Wally World sucked this weekend. I'm not sure what they're doing (I've heard rumors of a grocery section to be added) but I was very disappointed in what they had to offer - or should I say, didn't have to offer. It was still fun taking the kids out for a quick trip and nobody threw up, which was truly a bonus.

4. I brought Hubby into the current day and age with a brand new iPod for Father's Day. Then I loaded it with 100 of Taterbug's favorite prepubescent songs. Bwahahahaha!!!

5. I almost set myself up for the "big talk" with Taters this weekend after explaining that Rocky Mountain Oysters did not hold urine. Blame stupid Guy Fieri and his show, Guys Big Bite, for providing me with one of the most uncomfortable car rides. EVER.

6. Roller skates are hard to locate in Humboldt. I'm going to have to order my white leather, pink wheeled beauties off of a Amazon. I'm sure my feet will be way too pretty for Roller Derby.

7. This week marks the end of Taterbug's jazz dance classes. They are having a huge production and this week's dress rehearsals have truly shown me that I don't have an ounce of girl left in me. I can't wield a curling iron to save my life, nor can I create proper high pony tails combined with perfect little girl make-up. I guess the pageant lifestyle is out for us. What a bummer.

8. The whole John and Kate Plus 8 fiasco is really bothering me. I guess the producers are putting their show on hiatus but the damage is already done and those poor kids will never be the same. I used to watch the show when the kids were smaller, but as they got older and the relationship changed between mom and dad, I honestly felt uncomfortable watching it. It was too voyeuristic - I didn't like watching a couple who were predictably, starting to implode. Blech. I hope the network provides some excellent counseling options.

9. I had a wonderful anniversary breakfast of Coke and pre-cooked bacon - on our finest china. Thank you children.

10. Ed McMahon died. RIP.

Become a Better Father: Fathers Day Writing Contest Winner!!

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:12:43 -0700

2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest Winner Announced!!

THIS IS OUR 2009 WINNER—A TRIBUTE TO SINGLE PARENTS EVERYWHERE!—Good job Caitlin!

My Dad is awesome because he is the best Dad in the world! What makes my Dad so awesome is that he plays the role of “Dad” and “Mom” since he has raised me and my older sister as a single parent. He works so hard every day, he has his own business, but he still makes time for ball games, dance recitals, track meets or whatever my sister and I are involved in. We can tell Dad anything. He listens to us vent, he hugs us when we cry, and he corrects us when we need it. Our house burned in December, but my sister and I knew that when Dad said it would all be ok, it would be ok. We knew our dad would work non-stop until he had it built back, and that’s exactly what he did. We know if we need anything, he will make it happen. He’s a “dad” to all our friends as well. They all call him “Daddy Matt.” His girlfriend has two boys who he also treats like his own children. We have all become like one big family, and he is the Dad who loves us all. He does everything from play Playstation with them to coach them in wrestling or train them at the gym. They would say he deserves some kind of “Dad of the Year” award as well. He also takes care of anything his mother needs since she is a widow. He cuts her grass, takes care of her car, whatever she needs. He is the most unselfish person on the planet! He does all this and still manages to also be the best cook ever! My dad is awesome!”

Caitlin Y

Therapy: I Survived!

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:11:48 -0700

I shot my first wedding over the weekend and I'm happy to report that I lived through the experience. It was a small, intimate event, which made it a little less overwhelming for me as a brand spankin' new photographer. I did realize I'll never quit my day job and I'll leave big events, such as weddings, to the people who can dedicate the proper amount of time required.

I remember back in the day, paying my photographer a little over $600 for engagements shots and a wedding album. I seriously cried having to write that check not understanding why on Earth, simple pictures could cost so much. I'm now painfully aware of the value I actually received. Sure, your photographer spends all day at your wedding, but in reality, this is only a small part of the process. He or she still has to edit, package and prepare all of your gorgeous shots.

For the four hours I was there, I took over 400 pictures. I now have to go through each one, editing the good and tossing out the bad. I may have to take things out and add things in...it's quite the adventure. Just estimating, I've spent probably over 10 hours (editing) over the past two days and I'm only 1/3 of the way into the process. I'm not complaining because I do love this. Seeing what I can turn my photos into is just a neat thing to go through and I look forward to it. Does it get tedious? Heck yeah! A little boring? Some times! Would I wanna do another wedding? No thanks!

So, in the end, I've learned some of my strengths and weaknesses all through a very humbling process. I hope the bride and groom will be happy with their pictures because so far, I'm proud of myself for the job I did. I went outside my comfort level and discovered it wasn't so bad. Would I do it again? Maybe, but it's gonna a be awhile. Hubby misses having a laptop computerless wife laying next to him at night :-).

Want to see more of the pics? Visit my photo blog, Pixel Queen Photography.

Therapy: Thanks Pops!

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:13:21 -0700

To all the dads in my life, thank you so much for all that you do and the blessings you have given me. To all the other dads out there, have a wonderful day!

A Naughty Father's Day Tribute

Another Naughty Tribute:

Relatively Safe!

Therapy: Eleven Is Our New Lucky Number

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:45:02 -0700

Eleven years ago, this guy:

and this girl:

met up with a bunch of their friends and family:

and did this:

Happy anniversary babe! Here's to another 11 years, three more kids, a couple more cats, a new dog and a handful more chickens. I love ya - thanks for putting up with me :-).

Therapy: The Censorship Of Picasso

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 17:09:47 -0700

While I was in cleaning mode today, I happened about several drawings lying on C-dub's floor. He had evidently channeled Picasso last night as there were several partially drawn on, crumpled papers, strewn about his room. As I collected the pages and tried to pile them into the resemblance of neatness, I glanced at each one admiring his art work.

It's amazing to see how he is really putting things together on paper and how his drawings are starting to form into stories. I love how he is actually starting to also write real words and sentences other than just some made up chicken scratch and goofy pictures of Taterbug. He's quite the little artist when he wants to be and I try to encourage him as I do with Taterbug.

While sniffling over C-dub's maturity and hugging his semi-stinky camouflage blankie close to my heart, I noticed that one picture really seemed to have been shining star for the night. Carefully drawn and complete with bubble narration, I picked up Picasso's piece to have a closer look. What was my prodigy writing? What was he trying to tell the world?

I read the top portion and realized it was some sort of brilliant comic strip piece:

Little man big mowth.

Charming and so descriptive!

The next sentence that caught my eye was on the bottom. He so loves the exclamation point - just like his mother! Oops, I did it again!!!

ha!!!!!! Brger!!

I'm not sure where he was going with the above comment but I'm sure it was on a path to brilliance. Before framing this little gem, I took a closer glance as the text in the bubble. It was scrawled hastily and evidently a very important part of his story as he had circled it:

How...molle crap

Molle crap? I whispered in awe at what message he was trying to say.

Molle crap?
Moley crap?
Holy crap?

When "holy crap" eventually came out of my lips, I knew we had a problem. I packed the page out into the living room and quietly asked my little trucker if he had authored this piece of work. He turned bright red and asked me, "Did ya read it Mom?" Upon being informed that I had in fact read it, he giggled nervously and then begged me not to show it to his dad. We then had a chat about writing naughty words in our artwork, and how his new first grade teacher would be none to thrilled to see this sorta thing written on his paperwork. He seemed to understand my concern, judging by the wide eyed look and apologies I received.

I eventually placed the picture into his memory box as a reminder of his first bout of censorship. I guess I should be happy that at least it wasn't a true cuss word...or that I didn't find him writing it in wet cement, directly adjacent to his name that he had also scrawled in. Let's just say that when you live in a small town, it's probably not the best idea to do that sorta thing and then lie about it to the coppers. Especially, when you have a unique name and the coppers happen to know your family very well. I think Hubby might have a comment or two about that...

Den of Jen: Fruit Smoothies

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:03:30 -0700

This recipe was published in the Project LEAN column (written by Joyce Houston) on June 10, 2009.
(It was adapted from “Lunch Lessons.”)

— 3 large, ripe bananas
— 1 1⁄2 cups chopped fresh or canned pineapple (canned in juice, drained)
— 1 1⁄2 cups calcium-fortified orange juice
— 1 1⁄2 cups plain nonfat yogurt
— 1⁄4 cup ground flax seed (optional)
— 16–18 ice cubes

Combine fruit, juice and yogurt in blender and process until smooth.

Add ice cubes and ground flax seeds and re-process until smooth.

Makes eight 1-cup servings, with 125 calories per cup, 2 g fat (0.19 g saturated fat, 0 g trans fat), 28 mg sodium, 3 g fiber, 27 g carbohydrate, 4 g protein.

Den of Jen: Grilled Garlic Breadsticks with Sweet & Zesty Sauce

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:01:50 -0700

— Two 20-ounce balls pizza dough, room temperature
— 1 tablespoon kosher salt, divided
— 2 tablespoons garlic powder
— 2 teaspoons ground black pepper
— 2 teaspoons onion powder
— 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted
— 15-ounce can diced tomatoes
— 2 cloves garlic
— 2 tablespoons honey
— 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
— 1⁄4 teaspoon dried oregano
— 1⁄2 teaspoon dried thyme
— 1 teaspoon hot sauce

Heat a grill to medium-high.

On a lightly floured surface, roll the pizza dough into large rectangles. Use a pizza wheel or knife to cut the dough into long strips, then cut each strip into roughly 5-inch lengths. Set aside.

In a wide, shallow bowl, mix 1⁄2 tablespoon of the salt, the garlic powder, pepper and onion powder.

Place the butter in a second wide, shallow bowl.

One or two at a time, place the strips of dough in the butter and turn to coat evenly. Shake off any excess butter, then lightly dredge the strips through the seasoning mix to coat. Set aside.

In a blender, combine the diced tomatoes (with any juice in the can), remaining salt, garlic cloves, honey, balsamic vinegar, oregano, thyme and hot sauce. Puree until smooth, then transfer to a small saucepan and heat over low.

While the sauce heats, arrange the dough strips on the hot grill, spacing them about 2 inches apart. Cover and grill for 1 to 2 minutes, or until the strips are puffed and lightly browned on the bottoms.

Flip and grill, covered, for another minute.

Serve the breadsticks with the dipping sauce.

Serves 8, with 257 calories per serving, 10 g fat (5 g saturated, 0 g trans fats), 19 mg cholesterol, 40 g carbohydrate, 6 g protein, 2 g fiber and 1,148 mg sodium.

Den of Jen: Whole-Wheat Pizza Dough

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:59:48 -0700

This whole-wheat pizza dough from “Pizza: Grill it, Bake it, Love it,” by Bruce Weinstein and Mark Scarbrough, uses whole-wheat and all-purpose white flour, so it is has a little more toothiness and flavor than a standard pizza dough.

The earthier flavor of this crust stands up well to more robust flavor combinations, such as black olive tapenade (instead of tomato sauce) with caramelized onions and feta cheese, or roasted garlic puree, roasted red peppers, arugula and a sprinkle of Gorgonzola.

— 3⁄4 cup lukewarm water (about 110 F)
— 2 teaspoons active dry yeast
— 1 teaspoon sugar
— 1⁄2 teaspoon salt
— 1 1⁄3 cups whole-wheat flour
— 2⁄3 cup all-purpose flour, plus additional for dusting
— 1 tablespoon walnut, canola or vege-table oil, plus additional for greasing

In a large bowl or in the bowl of a stand mixer, stir together the water, yeast, sugar and salt. Set aside for 5 minutes, or until the yeast has bubbled and foamed. If it doesn’t foam, start again with fresh yeast and check that the water isn’t too hot.

If working by hand, stir both flours and the oil into the yeast mixture until a soft dough forms. Lightly dust a clean dry work surface with all-purpose flour and turn the dough on to it.

Knead by holding the dough with one hand, stretching it with the other, then pushing the heel of the holding hand into the mass. Knead for 10 minutes, or until the dough is smooth and elastic. If the dough gets sticky, add 1 tablespoon of all-purpose flour.

If using a mixer, attach the dough hook and the bowl to the mixer. Add both flours and the oil to the yeast mixture. Mix on medium until combined. Knead on low until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. If the dough gets sticky, add 1 tablespoon of all-purpose flour.
Using a paper towel, coat a large bowl with oil. Place the dough in the bowl, turning to coat all sides with oil. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and set aside in a warm, draft-free place until doubled in size, about 1 1⁄2 hours.

When ready to bake the pizza, divide and roll out the dough as desired.

Serves 6, with 160 calories per serving (without toppings), 3 g fat (0 g saturated,
0 g trans fats), 0 mg cholesterol, 30 g carbohydrate, 6 g protein, 4 g fiber and 196 mg sodium.

Den of Jen: Chicken, Olive and Chili Pizza

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:56:23 -0700

— 1 cup shredded or ground cooked chicken (ground beef or pork could be substituted)
— 1 teaspoon canola oil
— 1 teaspoon taco or chili seasoning
— 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
— 12-inch frozen tomato and cheese pizza
— 12 pitted black or green olives, halved
— 1 to 2 tablespoons chopped canned or jarred jalapeno or green chilies

Heat the oven according to package directions for the pizza.

In a small bowl toss the chicken with the oil and taco (or chili) seasoning mix.

Sprinkle half of the cheese over the pizza, then top that with the chicken mixture, then the remaining cheese. Top with olives and chilies.

Bake the pizza according to the package directions.

Serves 4, with 694 calories per serving, 34 g fat (16 g saturated, 0 g trans fats), 84 mg cholesterol, 59 g carbohydrate, 41 g protein, 3 g fiber and 1,690 mg sodium.

Den of Jen: Potato, Ham and Herb Pizza

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:54:07 -0700

— 1 tablespoon olive oil
— 1 1⁄2 cups frozen diced hash browns
— 1⁄3 cup chopped ham or Canadian bacon
— 1 teaspoon dried oregano, rosemary or Italian herb blend
— Salt and ground black pepper, to taste
— 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
— 12-inch frozen tomato and cheese pizza

Heat the oven according to package directions for the pizza.

In a large skillet over high, heat the oil. Add the hash browns and cook, stirring often, until browned, about 5 minutes. Add the ham or Canadian bacon and herbs. Cook for another minute. Season with salt and pepper.

Sprinkle half of the cheese over the pizza; top that with the potato mixture, then the remaining cheese. Bake according to package directions.

Serves 4, with 700 calories per serving, 34 g fat (17 g saturated, 0 g trans fats), 80 mg cholesterol, 60 g carbohydrate, 39 g protein, 4 g fiber and 1,902 mg sodium.

Become a Better Father: Writing Contest

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 21:03:52 -0700

2009 FATHERS DAY WRITING CONTEST

In honor of Father’s Day 2009 and fathers everywhere www.becomeabetterfather.com is sponsoring a Father’s Day writing contest. We want to know our readers opinions of what it takes to be a great father.

We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.

The question we pose is: ” My Dad is (was)awesome because…”

That’s it!

Here are the official rules…

1. Write about what you think a good father is (A poem,essay, or other writing form) and post on your blog with a link back to this blog post. LIMIT 300 WORDS.
2. Email your entry to sjhammond@suddenlink.net.
3. You must have your entry posted by midnight, Pacific Standard Time, June 21st, 2009.
4. June 22nd at 9pm PST, 2009, the lovely Mrs. Hammond and I will pick a winner based on what we think rocks!
5. The winner receives a free full one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, a Starbucks gift card, a full-featured blog post on become a better father.com, a cool certificate,and much much more!
6. We will post an entry on this blog on June 22nd 2009 containing links to all the entries, so you will get a free link out of the deal.
7. We will also do a press release on the winner of the Fathers Day Writing Contest… to be determined.

That’s it and good luck!

The question remains: ”My Dad is (was) awesome because…”

Best,

Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine

Den of Jen: This month's favorite food site

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:11:31 -0700

I recently discovered a cool website for foodies or just anyone who enjoys food-related topics: It's called (so original) "Chow" -- (www.chow.com).

The site is actually owned by CNet, which is owned by CBS Interactive. Chowhounds (users) are required to register, but it's free.

What I like most about Chow is that, for the most part, the writers are just plain folks who like to eat. Nothing pretentious, and there are lots of regular visitors so anything you post is sure to get a few replies (sometimes dozens). The site includes recipes, restaurant recommendations, cooking tips, blogs, videos (everything from hulling strawberries to grilling eggplant), and (my favorite) "Stories," which includes The Ten.

The Ten is just what it sounds like: Lists of Ten Things. Some recent ones include "10 Ways To Smuggle Booze Into an Event" (not that I condone that -- I don't even drink anymore -- but it's funny), "10 Canned Goods Worth Using (Don't Wait For the Apocalypse" and "10 Food Moments From 'The Office.'" Yes, there are actually some useful lists as well, such as "10 Vegetable Seed Suppliers" (which includes where to buy exotic and heirloom seeds) and "10 Things To Cook For One (subtitled "A Bowl Of Cereal Is Not Dinner").

There's much more to keep one happily clicking away for hours. Check it out.

Become a Better Father: 2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest

Sat, 30 May 2009 09:01:35 -0700

2nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest….email entries to sjhammond@suddenlink.net

In honor of Father’s Day 2009 and fathers everywhere www.becomeabetterfather.com is sponsoring our 2nd annual Father’s Day writing contest.

We want to know our readers opinions of what it takes to be a great father.

We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.

The question we pose is: ” My Dad is (was)awesome because…”

That’s it!

Here are the official rules…

That’s it and good luck! The question remains: ”My Dad is (was) awesome because…”

Best,

Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine

Become a Better Father: If you could have 3 Parenting “do overs” what would you do differently? Part 3.

Wed, 20 May 2009 22:07:29 -0700

The last installment of our Informal Survey…

ok. “do-overs”:
1. Stop saying, “No” immediately unless it’s a life threatening situation. Rather, come to their eye level or lower and explain to them why what they’re doing or thinking about doing might be a really bad idea, complete with realistic consequences of their actions.

2. Be more aware of the family history on mental health. Turns out depression runs in my family. Had no idea until 2 years after I figured it out. It really does take a toll on the family, especially the kids.

3. Take all that energy from yelling (see 2 above) and whisper. It’s amazing how quickly people shut down at loud noises, but perk up at really, really soft ones.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Not had child number 1
Not had child number 2
Not had child number 3

Bad parenting day today…..ask me tomorrow and the answer will be different. Now if you will excuse me I have to go find out why…

Child number 1 thought it was okay to go to the bathroom at school and send a questionable song to all of his 5th grade friends on the emergency cell phone that he wasn’t supposed to have brought to school.

Child number 2 thought it was funny to tell a Chuck Norris and Virgin Mary joke to his friends during study hall that was definitely not appropriate for 8th grade students.

Child number 3 thought it would be okay if mom came home and found her and her boyfriend making out on the couch with his hands down her pants - she is 16.

Do you think it is too late to get a refund on them?

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I would have protected my children LESS from the cause and effect of thier own behavior.
I would have been more strict about responsibility.
I would have been less accepting of negative behavior.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Scott,

I just joked today that I wish I had time to write the book “The Parent REDO”! How ironic…

As the mother of 2 ( 11 and 13), high maintenance pre teens, I do not think this space will have room for all of the “do overs” I could give you. You asked for three so here goes.

I would have kept “consistent” with rules…
I would have kept “consistent” with a routine/expected schedule…
I would have kept “consistent” with our overall expectations…

“Children will follow where we lead them..if we do not lead them, they will not follow.”

Permission granted to use quote from a guilty parent of great kids that have been lead by consistent love but not by consistent leadership. I will be the 1st to buy your book as the do overs are still possible…I hope!

Become a Better Father: If you could have 3 Parenting “do overs” what would you do differently? Part 2.

Wed, 20 May 2009 22:06:24 -0700

Results from our Informal Survey…

A lot of Doug’s advice struck a chord for me- the 3 things I took from his memorial service were:

1.) LIVE FOR TODAY. Do not dwell on the past, learn from your mistakes, but do not let them haunt you. Do not get caught up in the future. LIVE for the PRESENT! If you make today a success the success will continue into the future.

2.) COACH/MENTOR- take an active role in your children’s interests. Doug coached his last lacrosse game for his younger son’s team just a few weeks before he past away. His boys did not win that day, but they still felt like winners. Doug taught them that what was important was that they played their best, had fun, and had love & respect for their teammates and their competitors. Doug was in the habit of asking his team- “What is my job?” They would respond- “to love us.” “What is your job?” “to love each other.” I am not sure where Doug got these mottos but the point was- teaching & mentoring kids is great for the kids- but was also incredibly rewarding for Doug.

3.) LET GO OF REGRET’S! As tragic of a loss as it was to lose Doug at such a young age- he did get an incredible gift- his diagnosis forced him to let go of regrets. Every man has things he wishes he did differently but we are forgiven for our mistakes- and we should not dwell on them.

Anyhow- sorry for the long response- but these are some of the things I learned from my buddy Doug. And even though he was a “Man’s man” he was never embarrassed to say- “I love you Man!’ and neither am I.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Being a grandparent of two provides remarkable insight into my parenting background. Between my wife and I, we have grown daughters and all that comes with it.
1. I would be more relaxed about encouraging my offspring to explore and think for themselves.
2. I would instill less fear of uncertainty
3. That’s it because, while parenting was a “surprise” for me in my mid-thirties, I can’t imagine life without having at least one child.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Nothing! That doesn’t mean that I was a perfect parent. I simply would go through that season with the faith that carried me through it the first time. I believe that each child has his/her own spirit, soul, mind, emotion and will. I’d to my best, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to guide that child in the direction of their bent. I have noticed little consistency between what we may consider “great” parenting and how kids turn out. Raising a child is such an act of “trusting God” and a daily dose of humility as those little innocent creations remind us that we are not God and that we need to depend on Him all the more. What a terrifying responsibility…to bring a child into the world via birth or to parent via the blessing of adoption. Yet, having said all of that…I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

Become a Better Father: If you could have 3 Parenting “do overs” what would you do differently? Part 1.

Wed, 20 May 2009 22:05:38 -0700

Great question: these are the Result of our Informal Survey…

1. I would prepare earlier for adolescence. It’s a huge transition, and it starting to occur earlier - emotionally, if not physically.

2. I would challenge my kids more, earlier. I would give them higher levels of responsibility and allow them fail more often.

3. I would take more mission trips and fewer traditional vacations.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————–

The 3 do overs I would focus on:

* Provide chores at an earlier age and stress the value of money
* Give more independence at an earlier age. (walk to store, go out with kids)
* Spend more “quality” time (take on more my speaking engagement trips, don’t overwork, etc.)

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

1). I would have had all my kids go through the family meetings we did with the last four. The results on that go-around were amazing.

2). I would have done a better job of exposing all of my kids to the world - through travel and volunteerism. Time just got away. Exposure and Experience are the two greatest forces for creating Tolerance and Compassion.

3). I would have taught them better about finances and personal responsibility. They had specific chores and schedules with consequences clearly communicated, and we weren’t all that free & easy with allowances. But we didn’t enforce the savings account rules, and we helped them more than we should have with some of the things they would have appreciated more if they had participated in earning the ability to buy it themselves.

Become a Better Father: New Web Site Introduction

Wed, 13 May 2009 21:04:09 -0700

Fathers Day Writing Contest 2009/New Web Site Introduction

For Immediate Release

New Website Become a Better Father.com announces its podcast, blog, and online videos just in time for Father’s Day

McKinleyville, California. June 2, 2009. Scott Hammond, author, speaker, and parenting expert, releases, just in time for Father’s Day, exciting new resources for parents via his Web site: Become a Better Father.com. Visitors can expect a wealth of information that helps them employ Purpose-Driven Parenting to strengthen their family relationships and improve their lives.

As a father of nine (including two special needs children) and an extensive background in leadership training, coaching, consulting, writing, and public speaking, Hammond brings a unique and dynamic energy to helping others become better, more-effective fathers. Although Scott Hammond coaches fathers in particular, his offerings are not limited to just men. Anyone who parents can use his system to make great improvements in their familial relations and enjoy happier, healthier existences. Some of Mr. Hammond’s personal, encouragement-based coaching involves: effective goal setting, honest self evaluation, integrity-based communication, and credibility in word and action.

Are you an effective parent?

Hammond states, “Every parent feels a need to improve their parenting skills, to better reach and teach their children, and to leave a lasting, loving legacy so all family members can live healthier, richer, more productive lives. My parenting program helps fathers identify what they really want, to come forward and embrace their role in the family, and take the steps required for strong, lasting, and positive relationships”.

New Website Features, Just in Time for Father’s Day

The Become a Better Father.com Web site now features podcasting, You Tube videos of Scott in action, a Father’s Day writing contest, an award-winning Toastmasters speech titled, “The Upside of Down Syndrome”, Scott’s Seven Secrets of Effective Fathers materials, how to leave a healthy and strong legacy for our children, and much more.

As a trainer, coach, writer, speaker, consultant, and father, Scott Hammond delivers a comfortable, personal, and informal speaking style that motivates, inspires, and compels others toward positive personal and professional change. With a 30-year, award-winning background in radio, newsprint, and television media, Scott is uniquely qualified to offer a balanced perspective on family and career achievement.

###

Become a Better Father: Fathers Day Writing Contest

Wed, 13 May 2009 21:02:40 -0700

nd Annual Fathers Day Writing Contest

We value your opinion and would love to hear from you and what you think makes a great dad.

The question we pose is: ” My Dad is (was)awesome because…”

That’s it!

Here are the official rules…

1. Write about what you think a good father is (A poem,essay, or other writing form) and post on your blog with a link back to this blog post. LIMIT 300 WORDS.
2. Please leave a comment on this blog post to let us know you entered.
3. You must have your entry posted by midnight, Pacific Standard Time, June 21st, 2009.
4. June 21st at 9pm PST, 2009, the lovely Mrs. Hammond and I will pick a winner based on what we think rocks!
5. The winner receives a free full one-hour consultation with Scott Hammond, a Starbucks gift card, a full-featured blog post on become a better father.com, a cool certificate,and much much more!
6. We will post an entry on this blog on June 22nd 2009 containing links to all the entries, so you will get a free link out of the deal.
7. We will also do a press release on the winner of the Fathers Day Writing Contest… to be determined.

That’s it and good luck! The question remains: ”My Dad is (was) awesome because…”

Best,

Scott Hammond FO-9
Father of Nine

Den of Jen: Gotta love technology (most of the time)

Wed, 06 May 2009 11:34:19 -0700

So last Thursday (4/30) at 4 p.m. PDT, I ordered a sling-type carrying case for my new mini-laptop/netbook. Since I got free two-day shipping from Amazon, I expected it on Monday. After I placed the order, they sent me an email with a link to track my package.

When I got to work Friday, I clicked the link and it took me to Amazon's package-tracking page, where I found this:

Track your package
Date/Time/Location/Event Details
May 1, 2009 08:39:00 AM EUREKA LOCAL SORT CA US Arrival Scan
May 1, 2009 08:15:00 AM EUREKA CA US Arrival Scan
May 1, 2009 07:00:00 AM MATHER CA US Departure Scan
May 1, 2009 06:31:00 AM MATHER AIRPORT CA US Arrival Scan
May 1, 2009 05:54:00 AM MATHER CA US Arrival Scan
May 1, 2009 05:22:00 AM MATHER CA US Arrival Scan
May 1, 2009 03:47:00 AM LOUISVILLE KY US Departure Scan
May 1, 2009 02:07:00 AM LOUISVILLE KY US Shipment received by carrier
April 30, 2009 08:20:52 PM Campbellsville KY US Shipment has left seller facility and is in transit

-------
Three hours later, a co-worker comes back from picking up the mail downstairs and hands me a package from Amazon. Cool.

So this is what I love about technology (most of the time):

My order is shipped about 4 hours after I place it. It flies in a plane from Campbellsville KY to Mather CA (near Sacramento) while I am sleeping. About an hour after it arrives in Mather, it's in the air on the way to Eureka. It arrives here before I finish breakfast and is handed to me before I'm even close to thinking about lunch.

Yes, I know all about vendors-from-hell experiences with ordering products online. I've had some of the worst, and some of the best. And yes, I know about, and believe in, and mostly do "buy local." I sincerely tried to find something like this in 4 local stores. Nada. Zip. Zilch. That's how I ended up at Amazon.

Gotta love technology (most of the time). My new bag and I are very happy together:

(In case you're interested, the item is the "Caselogic XNTM-1 Slim Line eSling".)

Prague: The Pension Florida, Ch. 8

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:35:29 -0700

Wolfgang

I remember once, back in the early Nineties, I was on holiday in Greece with some friends. We were all up on this cliff and diving into the sea. It was beautiful, clear sea, and when you were up high on the cliff you could look down and see the bottom, even from way up. Once though we found this cliff and everyone dared me to jump, cause I've always been one to take a dare. This cliff was enormous. My friend later said he counted up to seven before I hit the water, which means I must have reached terminal velocity. Anyway, on the way down I tried to keep my legs together, but the wind was so strong at that height that I couldn't. When I hit the water it was literally like hitting cement, mate. I hit so hard my swimming trunks were up around my neck. All I remember is I had just enough to get to the surface. I kept thinking, I got to get to the surface. My friend was already swimming toward me, he knew when he saw the size of my splash. I reached the surface and was already sinking again, something was wrong and my friend came and got me and pulled me to shore. The doctors at the hospital later said they couldn't believe I was still alive. Broke my back. Today you can still see that one collarbone is higher than the other, by at least half an inch. The doctors said I could have been paralyzed. Even today when I'm walking sometimes one leg will just go numb for a while.
I was just thinking about that story this morning because I hurt my back again. What happened is I was lifting this keg in the bar and something just went out. Man I couldn't even turn my head, if I wanted to see something to the side I had to literally turn around, mate. That made the meeting with the Plastic People difficult. We met at Shakespeare's and the guy, Vrata, he's in his sixties, and he says, 'Man, you need a chair?'
I don't like other people knowing my business, mate. Jake, this American mate, he's the one introduced me to Vrata. He was trying to make it up to me for something that happened the other day. I asked him to loan me 1,000 for a few days so I could cover some debts. I ended up needing a couple more days and he said no problem, then the next day he gets to drinkin' and comes in and in front of my barman and a few other people starts telling me off about it. I went and got the money, which I had been saving to give back to him, and told him to get out and not come back. You understand, eh? When you're running a business you can't have these kind of things happen and he knows that. So after the meeting with Vrata Jake and I went back to Reincarnation, I have been closed the past few days since that incident, and we had a beer and talked. Told him thanks for helping with Vrata, for thinking of me, but that that doesn't change anything. The same with Grub, he came by to get his shit the other day and I told him I meant it when I said don't come back. It's crunch time for me, mate. If I don't find a way to get this bar going I don't know what I'm going to do. I'll be totally busted. I am already busted to tell the truth, but if I can just keep going somehow, keep my head above the water for a few more months, keep getting the shows in like Plastic People, it might just catch on. The problem is on this street there are already five or six other bars. That's what people tell me, the people who are waiting for me to fail anyway. But I think they're wrong. The Reincarnation has something the other places don't have, a real live venue space. And it's got history, this old building. And I've got the whole multicultural exchange idea,which none of the other places on the street have. We've had groups from Manchester, from France, from Prague, we'll have more bands from England coming over. In exchange we send bands from here over there. You see how it is, mate. A lot of Czech places around here are xenophobic. Like this place Retro down near Namesti Miru. The other night there was a dance party downstairs at Retro and it was only Czech. They wouldn't let any foreigners in. My place isn't like that. It's supposed to be open for everybody. Some of the locals have come to the last couple concerts, a couple anyway. You could see they were impressed by how good the place looks. I'm hoping word will get around. But I think also the owners of the other bars are scared. Like a few months ago when this guy Adam opened his place, all the young people who used to go to Pavel's started going there. They're afraid maybe the same thing will happen. But that's not what I'm after. I'm not out to hurt anybody's business, mate. I just want to get my own going. Some people, like Jake, they say, 'Wolfgang, you got to be crazy, or brilliant ... opening a new business in the middle of an economic crisis. Maybe I am both, mate. But it's like that time I jumped off the cliff in Greece. Something told me beforehand, you know ... but I had to do it.