Here's a tip. If, unlike me, you somehow manage to get a job that pays more than $9 an hour, especially in the music biz, never, ever, let anyone there know that you know me. Word might get back to the TIs.

Combat Jack had to find out the hard way.

Remember when I told ya’ll recently how I had an announcement to make? This isn’t it. Real talk, an unexpected opportunity came my way, a pretty big one too. Something that I had been planning for for a while. Entertainment related. Media related. Mad exposure. A bigger platform to support the Daily Math. Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the office. A week after the offer was made, the cats I was building with became real hard to find. Because I know how things get in the entertainment industry, I got a lil nervous. I started making mad calls, emails, text messages, Twitter tweets. Nada. This wall of silence went on for like a week and a half, even going past the day I was told I’d be starting. Yes. I got real nervous.

Eventually I got through to the person that made the offer. I was informed that the head honcho of the fine establishment I’d be joining decided they didn’t want to eff with me. Apparently said honcho had issues with fellow blogger and esteemed colleague Byron Crawford. You know how bol gets down. Well anyways, wha’ had happened was bol dropped some post completely unrelated to me in typical bol fashion, and said posts didn’t really sit well with said honcho. Them posts was too close to home is what my people told me. Said that same honcho did some research and discovered that me and Byron were cool, that we had history. Said honcho, so affected by the shit bol dropped decided that he wasn’t gonna eff with me. Ever. And just like that, I was fired from a job before I had a chance to start. Before I had a chance to meet the boss. For some shit I didn’t do. Unless you want to call it guilt by association. Then yeah, I guess I’m guilty. Guilty for knowing Byron Crawford.

The good news is, Combat Jack found another job, working alongside yours truly at XXL, starting next week. If necessary, I might be able to put in a word for him at one of the BGM's New York locations. The two of them combined don't compare to the job he lost, but what are you gonna do?

Combat Jack Joins XXL [Daily Mathematics]

Slug & Murs, Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez (Rhymesayers, 2009)
Felt is the occasional collaboration between Slug and Murs, in which each album is named after a (somewhat) fapworthy actress and produced by a different underground producer. I reviewed their last album here over four years ago. Jesus H. Christ. What am I doing with my life?

Felt @ MySpace

PROTAGONISTS

I was hoping the production on this album, by Aesop Rock, would sound like his work on None Shall Pass. This doesn't sound altogether different from (I think) "Catacomb Kids." They should havfe let him rap too. But then I guess it wouldn't be a proper Felt album.

FELT CHEWED UP

On the other hand, this is a bit too Aesop Rock for my liking. I wouldn't even like this if Aes himself rapped on it, let alone Slug and Murs, who aren't as well suited for that sort of thing. I suppose now is a good a time as any to mention that this album features some wicked scratches. Which is always nice.

GET CAKE

It's just them chanting about eating cake for about a minute. Is this meant as a sort of criticism of crunk music?

BASS FOR YOUR TRUCK

It didn't take long for things to get all emo, did it? But what does bass for your truck have to do with it? Are people in Minnesota still really into car stereos? I was looking at a Best Buy ad the other day, and I noticed they don't even bother to list car stereo shit anymore.

LIKE YOU

The message here sounds a bit too positive. I'd almost rather they be talking about girls.

PERMANENT STANDBY

And wouldn't you know, here they are again, rapping about girls. It sounds like they might be describing a date rape, so it's even kinda negative. Bonus!

KEVIN SPACEY

An instrumental interlude. Not half that bad, though I was hoping it might be a rap song about Kevin Spacey - perhaps about whether or not he's on the DL.

GHOST DANCE DELUXE

What's this, a song where production actually sounds appropriate? The beat sounds spooky as shit, and the rhymes really are about ghosts, albeit ghosts of girls.

REVISITING THE STYLEETRON

A party song that would just sound weird at a party. The only party this will be played at involves warmed over Papa John's, Natty Light, a desk lamp and some Internets pr0n.

WHALEFACE

A dis song with an extended ocean life metaphor. Um, why?

GLORY BURNING

A story about a guy who ends up in the trunk of a car. It sounds like Slug might rap about the guy in the trunk, and Murs might rap from the perspective of the guy in the trunk.

HENRIETTA LONGBOTTOM

Slug and Murs trade rumors back and forth about a local girl with a wicked camel toe. Retarded as it sounds, it's a gas to listen to.

SHE SONNET

I tuned out here to take care of some things. It sounds like they might have been complaining about the state of modern day hip-hop. Which is usually my favorite kind of rap music.

FELT GOOD

Murs declares himself superior to people who rap about killing people.

DEATHMURDERMAYHEM

Then here's a song about killing people.

THE PRIZE

The indie rap equivalent of that song where Jay-Z compares himself to Santa Claus. At one point, the word swag is mentioned.

G.I. JOSEPHINE

Sounds like it might be left over from the last Atmosphere album. In a bad way, natch.

THE CLAP

A sort of sex ed PSA. When you look at a woman, just assume she has the clap. I definitely assume that, when a woman looks at me.

WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED

When I saw Atmosphere at Lollapalooza this summer, their crowd was bigger than the one for Kanye's headlining set the year before. No bullshit. The other underground rappers must hate Slug. That must be what he's rapping about on this album.

GIVE IT UP

More complaining about shit, which I'll take as proof of the theory I laid out in my comments on that last song.

PAUL REUBENS

If this song has anything to do with the guy who played Pee Wee Herman, I missed it. There is a nice Sideways reference though. Murs isn't drinking any fucking Merlot. Slug announces that Felt 4 will be a tribute to Heidi Fleiss. Bonus!

COMMENTS: Surprise, this album ain't half that bad. Aesop Rock's production doesn't seem particularly appropriate for Slug and Murs' emo rap, but I still kinda like it. Like most rap albums in the post No Limit era, it's longer than it needs to be. I'd get rid of the ones about girls who drink too much alcohol or whatever. If I wanted to hear that, I'd get an Atmosphere album. Murs probably felt the same way but didn't want to say anything, because Slug's the one with all the money.

BEST TRACKS: "Protagonists" "Ghost Dance Deluxe" "Henrietta Longbottom"

BONUS VIDEO: Behind the Scenes with Aesop Rock and DJ Big Wiz

Best Onion in a minute, nhjic:

WANTAGE, NJ—Acting on anonymous tips from within the Hispanic-American community, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials on Wednesday deported Luis Miguel Salvador Aguila Dominguez, who for the last 48 years had been living illegally in the United States under the name Lou Dobbs.

However, it's important to keep in mind the real reason Lou Dobbs left CNN.

Soros and the left-cover side of the global elite have realized a victory. Dobbs kept hammering on the broken border and this irritated the elite who want open and unchecked borders in order to drive down wages and destroy the living standards of middle class Americans. Dobbs was a roadblock in the elite’s plan to turn the planet into a unified slave labor plantation.

US Deports Lou Dobbs [The Onion]

Thought Police Drive Lou Dobbs Off CNN [Infowars]

(via)

Remind me to post this one again when T-Boz dies.

Could it be that the Illuminati, aware of Lil Boosie's influence on black youth, conspired to have him receive an especially harsh prison sentence, just like they did Prodigy from Mobb Deep? Should Jesse Jackson get involved?

Boosie says it's unfair that he's going to prison for four years, when this was his first offense.

. . . But really, I’d feel like I’m just punching these crackers back in the face for what they’re doing to me. This is my first conviction. Jesse Jackson needs to be down here screaming for me too. This my first conviction and I’m doing jail time. I know millions of people with paper on them for gun and drug charges, but [I got sentenced] because of who I am.

He was only gonna do two years, but then his sentence was doubled when his house arrest bracelet went off the other day. Hmm...

Here's how Boosie plans to keep hope alive while he's locked up.

Jail only makes you sell more records. Niggas are already asking to book me for the first Saturday I’m home. Offering [amounts of] money I’ve never gotten before [for shows]. I’m just gonna be in there chilling, looking at pictures, beating my dick to bad bitches.

Sounds like a plan!

Get Jesse Jackson On The Phone Now! [Crunk and Disorderly]

http://www.jonesbigasstruckrentalandstorage.com/bygoingtothiswebsiteiwaivemyrighttosuetobyjones.html

This guy Chance Keesling, a halfrican American fellow, did a tour in Iraq, went batshit, contemplated suicide, but made it back safe. Whew!

The military offered him a $27,000 bonus to go back, but he was like, fuck that shit! So they sent him back anyway, without a bonus, using stop loss, a policy where, if you were dumb enough to join the military in the first place, they can call you back, even if you already fulfilled your obligation. I think they also tried to pull that shit on that terrorist who shot up Fort Hood.

Anyway, as you might suspect, this kid Chance killed himself in Iraq during his second tour of duty. His parents (black mom, whited died, fyi) tried to get Obama to issue an official letter of condolences, but Obama wouldn't do it, because the military has a policy against sending a letter of condolences to the parents of soldiers who commit suicide. No, really.

Chance's parents got a letter from the government, the other day. They opened and read it. They thought it might be a letter of condolences from Barack Obama, but come to find out it was a form letter about adjusting to life once you get back from Iraq. Someone must have forgotten to update his file. Damn. It's no wonder the military didn't realize it had a terrorist in its ranks.

After the jump is a segment from today's special Veterans Day episode of Democracy Now! with Chance Keesling's father, Gregg Keesling.

50 Cent might be more on top of this online hip-hop foolishness than I am, even though he's got a rap career to focus on and all I've got is this buskit.

As I mentioned in yesterday's post for XXL, it didn't make sense to me why 50 Cent would have sex with Joe Budden's ex, Tahiry, other than that him having a thing for women with horrifically deformed bodies. What would 50 Cent stand to gain from dissing a rapper who's only popular amongst a few random white kids on the Internets? That would be like him dissing me. Even the ur-resourceful staff of ThisIs50 would struggle to find a woman who's had sex with me, especially given the way Anthony Sowell was allowed to operate with impunity all those years.

But I digress.

Looking over the comments section of yesterday's post, I learned that Joe Budden, in one of his video blogs, said something about how it was lame to dis Jay-Z. Which could be viewed as him dissing Beanie Sigel, who's pissed at Jay-Z, because Jay wouldn't let him sign with G-Unit a few years ago, when he was fresh out the joint and still had that certain sheen a nigga gets, and before Fiddy lost the plot. Fiddy might still sign Beanie Sigel, to spite Jay-Z, and so he banged Taheezo as an attack on Joe Budden, on behalf of Beanie Sigel.

My bad, if that doesn't make any sense. It's some pretty complicated shit. To think, Fiddy already banged Taheezo, in the time it took me to even figure out what was going on. He may have actually read that book he co-wrote with Robert Greene.

Best Jasiri X to date?

Semi-related: Vaccine Victim Desiree Jennings Viciously Attacked By Medical Establishment [Prison Planet]