YesButNoButYes Stories

Out of work? Keep Busy.

2009-11-07T12:14:12Z

The unemployment rate in America has reached 10% for the first time in decades. Fuck! If you are one of those unfortunate folks in the 10% bracket, I wish you luck in your search for gainful employment. I've been there, it sucks. But everyone's expendable these days, "aside from the guy with the thickest shaft in the porn industry." So keep your head up. Don't give up. Chances are, the reason you were let go has more to do with a bad decision someone with a C-level title made. Not you. But I digress. While you are out of work, why not use that time for something constructive. Be an extra on a film set. Comment in our forum. Or try one of the other 10 Things to Do If You Become Unemployed.

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Women's Soccer = Awesomeness!

2009-11-06T23:53:31Z

You don't get to see these moves in MMA action. If all sports were full contact like this, I think ESPN and other sports channels would be on permanently in my household. The University of New Mexico's women's soccer team has just made a special place in my heart.

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3.3 Chords & the Truth With Johnny Wright Episode #1

2009-11-06T18:18:14Z

We all saw Adam's pathetic attempt at a solo record. The opening was so gay, he could have slipped in the volleyball scene from Top Gun and nobody would have batted an eye. "Perfectly on theme," they'd say. My opening is little more, shall we say, in the awesome category. Not something that could appear as a montage in High School Musical 7.

So here's an update from The Emerald City.

I really do need a theremin.

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Dick Towel (NSFW)

2009-11-06T17:00:20Z

Comedy, thy name is It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And, quite honestly, how did it take so long for someone to create and market this product? While it isn't Kitten Mittens, it's damn close to genius. And, because of certain words and images on the video, we embedded it after the jump. It's worth a watch, especially if you're a fan of the show and/or in need of a Dick Towel.

(Via @CoolMoD)

Continue reading Dick Towel (NSFW)...

Where the Dirty Hipsters Are

2009-11-06T16:01:11Z

At YesButNoButYes, we have taken a few shots a dirty hipsters before. And we have no plans to stop. Ever. Especially when there's a funny, though poorly acted, parody of Where the Wild Things Are out there.

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Glottal Opera

2009-11-06T15:58:47Z

Thread tiny cameras through the singer's noses and focus on the larynx. Then have them sing sweetly and see what it looks like deep inside. Yes, that's really what this is. (via b3ta)

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The 11/3 Project, Conspiracy

2009-11-06T11:35:36Z

The Daily Shows first rate parody of a Glen Beck rant, just happens to be about Glen Beck and the conspiracy to destroy his body.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The 11/3 Project

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

The Woman Born with Two...

2009-11-05T22:53:03Z

We've always thought about it. At least all the men have thought about it. Just imagine the possibilities. But after giving it some though - and trust me, I gave it some serious thought, I've come to the conclusion that there are many more entries (pardon the pun) in the negative column.

Lauren Williams, who we can only assume was the product of government and/or advanced pornographic testing, was born with two love boxes. That's right, two deep sockets. Two snooches. Two poons. Two quims. Two bajingos. Two great divides. Two honey pots. Two minges. Two fun hatches. Two vaginas!

(Via PerezHilton)

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Watching Movies Backwards

2009-11-05T20:45:37Z

What if we watched movies in reverse? Then, good guys could become villains. Guns could give life. And stories of redemption would unravel. Basically, you get a completely different movie. And that's why this exercise is so much fun. Just pick one of your favorite films and play it in reverse. I'll start. Here are the synopsis of 26 popular movies watched backwards.

Continue reading Watching Movies Backwards...

Shatner Performs Levi Johnston's Tweets

2009-11-05T18:25:26Z

While the really weird of you are waiting to see Levi Johnston's wanger in Playgirl, here's a treat.

Last night on Conan, master thespian William Shatner gave a tear-jerking performance of Alaska's favorite meathead/father of a bastard child's Twitter entries.

Very insightful. Like a young Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Speaking of morons on Twitter, after a Democrat won New York's 23rd Congressional District for the first time since the Civil War, Sarah Palin chimed in. Some of you may recall The Barracuda was instrumental to get moderate Republican Dierdre Scozzafava to drop out of the race by endorsing the much more conservative Doug Hoffman. Oops. It backfired. Doug lost.

Mrs. Palin then Tweeted "The race for New York's 23rd District is not over, just postponed until 2010." For crying out loud. In that spirit, I would like to congratulate the Philadelphia Phillies and let you know you didn't lose the World Series last night, you just postponed winning it until 2010. Way to go.

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A Scary and then Sad Story

2009-11-05T17:48:10Z

It happened in Dayton, Ohio in June. And this guy was there with his camera and commentary right afterward. (via Bits and Pieces)

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Movie Titles as Movie Quotes

2009-11-05T17:38:26Z

Gabe at Videogum put together clips of movie quotes that are also movie titles. That description won't make much sense until you watch it. Believe me, the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

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Teen Pawns Alex Trebrek

2009-11-05T15:01:55Z

Wrong answer but, we applaud the effort. Smart ass.

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McDonalds to sponsor F.A.T. team

2009-11-05T02:45:30Z

The world loves football (soccer) and McDonald's loves fatty foods. It was only a matter of time before the fast food giant stepped up and put their name on a team jersey. Ronald and Co. just wanted to make sure they found the appropriate sponsor first.

According to the Football Association of Thailand (FAT), McDonald's will provide £450,000 in cash, and the rest in products, in exchange for shirt sponsorship for the next three years.

For that, they will get to sponsor the Thai National Football team. The money will be used for equipment, training and support. The team has never made the World Cup and is currently ranked 110th in the world. Thai officials hope McD's money will help make the World Cup dreams come true. Players meanwhile, will be able to fuel up on free burgers. So, don't could on it. via Guardian

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Relive our Live Blog

2009-11-04T23:14:18Z

November 4, 2008 was a historic night for America. YesButNoButYes made a little history as well. Our first ever live blog. We had dozens of fans, Loyal 77 members, and your favorite writers typing and drinking as the results came in. Lots of wonderful comments were made. Given it's been a year, take a look back via the YBNBY Live Blog 2008 Rewind If you scroll through the comments you might see some references to my get out the vote effort in PA.

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1.5 Chords & the Truth with Echowood, Episode #1

2009-11-04T15:08:47Z

I'm breaking my silence. I may get kicked out of several writer's unions, the State of New York, and my dinner club for posting this, but it needed to be done. Johnny decided to take matters into his own hands, fly to the West Coast, and film his own 3 Chords & the Truth without telling me. Well kids, I'm here to tell you - this shit just got real.

I've put together my own show, appropriately titled 1.5 Chords & the Truth with Echowood which will, no doubt, rapidly climb to the top of the YouTube viewing charts. So while Johnny hires actors to portray his "family," I'll be bringing you hard-hitting interviews. Let the games begin.

Oh, and Ivo ... you're treading on some thin ice my friend. Don't think I haven't noticed your insolence over the past month.

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Trent Reznor Has A Sense Of Humor

2009-11-04T14:32:42Z

I'm a huge fan of Nine Inch Nails and alot of their videos are highly creative (i.e. [Only](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgt_WDjbO0o)). I honestly don't know if this is the official video for the song Discipline (from The Slip) but it's funny as hell to watch (albeit slightly gay in a Village People way). Thanks Trent for the good times and hopefully we'll see Nine Inch Nails reappear somewhere down the road!

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We Are Douchebags

2009-11-04T04:44:24Z

This was too good to pass up. For too long, the douchebag has been the butt of jokes and mockery, but they're taking the word back. Some of this may hit a bit close to home for certain writers on staff at YesButNoButYes with a love of pink shirts and Axe body spray, cough*Echowood*cough, but this piece almost makes you feel bad for them, and take pity on their Ed Hardy bedecked gym soaked bodies. Almost.

(Via LaughingSquid)

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Abraham Lincoln Hunted Sasquatch

2009-11-03T23:16:42Z

In "newly discovered journals," historians have found records that American president Abraham Lincoln embarked on an exhibition to hunt and kill the legendary sasquatch.

In 1937, Lincoln searched in uncharted areas of the Western United States determined to find the ape man he had been told about by a Native American medicine man named "Darting Ferret."

Lincoln and his hunting party tracked the beast through the Northwestern wilderness, coming so close as to smell the horrific acrid odor of the animal. In his journal, Lincoln wrote, "It smelled like a cross between the stump end of a wooden leg and the devil himself if he were prone to vapors."

The group saw the apeman below while they perched on a hillside. The animal "had the hair of a bear, but the shape of a man." Lincoln, impetuous and never shying from a fight, charged the Bigfoot. Overpowered by the strength of Sasquatch, Lincoln was pinned down and at the creature's mercy.

Bigfoot only examined and smelled Lincoln. Then had mercy on Abe and walked into the woods. Never to be seen again. Both legends, Sasquatch's and Abraham Lincoln's have continued to grow.

(Thank you Monkey Goggles for the good laugh.)

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Lover Caught Hiding Outside

2009-11-03T19:02:18Z

It's an old story. Husband comes home early, wife panics, her naked lover jumps out the window to hide. You usually see this in comic form. In the case of 25-year-old Sun Meng, the window was on the second floor of a large apartment building in Chengdu, China, a city of 11 million people. A neighbor snapped a picture, which was uploaded to a community internet site, and Sun's life changed immediately.

"My family is ashamed and none of my own neighbours will talk to me any more," said Sun. "I know what I did was wrong but I was afraid he would kill me. "People are even laughing at how I look naked - but I have to point out it was a very cold day," he added.

Cold day, huh? Likely story. I blame sheer terror.

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