by Jessica Jurgensmeier

The refrain to the hymn “Grace Greater Than Our Sin” has been ringing in my ears for the past couple weeks. Verses like, “Where sin increased, grace sin increased all the more” (Romans 5:20) have increased in beauty. Even after 16 years of living redeemed, I still can’t help but cringe at my own depravity and absolute need to be rescued from myself. By the grace of God, I am a saint still trapped in this ugly flesh. But what is the immediate reaction of a holy God to our unavoidable failings? Grace.

I am at a beautiful stage in my life right now, courting a godly man whom I respect and trust. Prior to courting Jon, I thought I knew courtship stories well. In my mind they all followed the same outline. A perfectly godly man meets a perfectly godly woman; they fall perfectly in love and remain perfectly holy and pure until the day of their perfect wedding at which they share their perfect first kiss. What I never paid attention to was that these stories always take place in a fallen world and involve fallen people.

Sin in our lives is inevitable, especially in relationships. Can we be honest about our failings in this journey from brother and sister to husband and wife? Has anyone really gotten through it without sinning?

I know I made the mistake of relying too much on my rules to make me holy, rather than relying on grace.  It was not any horrible sin by the world’s standards, but instead a gradual conceding in our hearts from the highest path. In not keeping within the boundaries we had set, we made mistakes that hurt me emotionally and clouded both of our minds.

Looking back, could we have attained a greater level of holiness in our relationship? Absolutely. Yet still, we are squarely in the center of our Savior’s grace. Our sin was already in God’s budget! What’s more, my God is a God who works all things for good and that good is making me more like Christ (Romans 8:28-29).

Because we have had to take a step back to examine ourselves, we have greater clarity than ever. Now I know the great extent of Jon’s Christ-like humility. This man takes responsibility for his actions and is committed to dying to himself. I would not yet have gotten to experience Jon’s character in such an intimate way had we not stumbled.

Obviously, our aim is perfection (Matthew 5:48); but our reality in this life is grace (Galatians 2:20).

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

But then the next day, between the into-everything toddler and the fussy baby, all the housework and the working-hard husband, I started to get discontent.  Why isn’t it like the way it used to be?  Back when we were so completely focused on each other and told each other “I love you” every ten minutes or so (really, if anyone else ever read our old chats…!!). 

Now, what little time we have together in the evenings is spent taking care of our little ones, cleaning up from supper, and catching up on anything that didn’t get done during the day.  It seems that we’re always tired, from a toddler who wakes up very early and a baby who is having a hard time with teething.  I started over-thinking it all and wondered, what on earth had happened to our love?

Several nights later, we got home late, with two littles who should have gone to bed much earlier.  My husband and I worked together as team getting them ready for bed, and once they were asleep we dropped exhausted into our own bed.  As we lay there, too tired to do anything more than hold each other, tears came to my eyes as I realized…this is it.  This is what true love looks like in this season of my life.  What had happened to our love is that it had grown…and changed..and deepened.

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis puts it so well:

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing… It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling.  Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all… And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last.

“If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married’, then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were.  Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years?  What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?

“But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love.  Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God… ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.  It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.” (emphasis mine)

“A deep unity”.  That is what love looks like now.  Unity as we learn how to raise our littles.  Unity as we learn how to juggle priorities in life.  Unity as we keep continuing to learn how to love each other.  This.  This is it.  And this is very good.

originally published at Something Simple

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

It’s a unique stream of conversation around our virtual table here at YLCF.

Pride.  Beauty.  What God can do with a broken heart.

In many ways, it feels like each of us are writing to “the girls we used to be.”

But we don’t want to be always looking back.

As the new year began, it became my prayer that we would be able to serve you our readers more specifically than ever before.  And that means getting to know you better—who you are now, not who we were at your age.

We want to know what you are doing these days, what your families look like, what your struggles are.  We want to get to know you better—those of you who are here at our “table,” reading and commenting.

“Write like a hostess. Serve the women who are at your table. Don’t worry about the ones who didn’t show up.”
(Lisa-Jo Baker and Emily P. Freeman at The Relevant Conference)

If this blog is our table, then we writers are the hostesses.

If we are the hostesses, then we need to know who you are in order to serve you better.

We love seeing those little thumbnail images of your faces, in the comments and on our Facebook page.  But we want to hear more of the stories behind the faces.  We want to get to know you so we can pray for you more, so we can serve you better.

Won’t you pull up a chair for a moment and tell us about yourselves?  We’ve put together a quick, three-part survey to help give us a better feel for how old you are and what your lives look like.  The last section has some open-ended questions giving you more opportunity to share your heart.  Trina has even made some little favors to say thank you to three of you who respond to the survey: a cheerful little felt flower for your purse, sweater, or hair.  (Drawing will be held February 8—please include your email address below to be entered.)

{feed & email readers: click through here to take the survey}

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

by Jessica Eve deCastro
(click here to read part 1)

It all climaxed when I moved out on my own. That final break from anything familiar, stepping out into the truly unknown, was like what I imagine that leap from the airplane is like: opening the door to a high-speed spiral with nothing but a parachute. At twenty-three, I should have been prepared for this. But I was not. Nothing in my upbringing was meant to prepare me for the real world, but rather to shelter me from it.

Suddenly, nothing in the reality of my life matched up with that image of the perfect Christian girl in my head. The struggle resulted in a lot of confusion. It resulted in trying to let go of old paths so that God could show me the path of Truth. It resulted in making some mistakes.

Part of me came close to shedding absolutely all that had hampered me. I wanted to not worry anymore, to stop stressing about every detail of life and just finally, for once, do what I felt like. But there was that other part of me that held me back, that clung to the wisdom I had once known, that whispered gentle warnings and, often, condemnation.

It was — it is — so easy to feel like I have gotten out of God’s territory. It’s frightening. Those other “perfect” Christian girls still have “perfect” Christian lives. Their parents are still together. Their churches are still intact. Many of them are married and having children now. I read the blogs of these truly lovely, sincere girls and am often inspired and encouraged, but they also make me think sometimes that something must be terribly wrong with me.

But then I found two blogs of a different kind, quite by accident, stumbling upon them in the haphazard mix of information that is Google while researching random things. On the surface, they looked like some more “perfect Christian girls” — happy wives and mothers. But on further reading of their stories, there were some very un-perfect flaws and huge lessons of God’s grace. Pregnancy before marriage. Adultery.

What?

As I read their stories, poignantly honest, full of humility, punctuated by the reality of God’s grace, my soul was lifted up.

They’re Christians, too.

They are girls and women after God’s own heart who have fallen, like David did. Their lives aren’t according to the formula, and yet the fruits of the Holy Spirit and the gifts of God’s blessings are still showing up. The familiar stamp I am used to seeing on the lives of the “perfect girls”? It’s on these lives, too — the lives of girls who made mistakes and needed forgiveness.

The “perfect Christian girl” me realized that it’s only pride, and, in some measure, the weakness of fear, that made me need that “perfect girl” image and that “perfect” Christian life. It’s a lie that those are the only ways to claim God.

Jesus came to save sinners. God is right where it’s messy and hurting and broken and dark; right where He is needed the most. He is not afraid to get His hands dirty; He holds our dirty hands with compassion, and washes them clean over and over and over again.

I can no longer take refuge in a life that looks perfect because it follows the formula of an extremely conservative subculture. It was that very image that was standing between me and fully knowing God’s heart. He doesn’t want me to take refuge in a life of familiarity and comfort and “cleanness.” He wants me to take refuge in Him.

And, with this knowledge, my whole desire is to learn all over again what it means to love Him, to follow Him, to please Him.

No more “perfect Christian girl.” Just Christ’s girl.

Jessica Eve deCastro is a 23-year-old college freshman, newly independent apartment-dweller, and “grown-up” sister, daughter, and friend – a misplaced “perfect Christian” girl who is learning that God has her right where she needs to be.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

by Jessica Eve deCastro

For so long I was the “perfect” Christian girl. It was my whole identity; it was my source of comfort; it was my source of pride; it was what I lived for.

And I wasn’t alone. Through the internet, books, and pen-pals, I knew that there was a whole generation of perfect Christian girls like me. (It always bothered me, though, that their parents all seemed to have great marriages and everyone in their families seemed happy. It bothered me a lot, because in my family, that wasn’t the case.)  I decided that one day, I would have a family of my own, and it would be… perfect.

I didn’t realize the arrogance. My motives were coming from a heart that loved God and only wanted good. The motives were humble, but I was digesting a lot of unhealthy things in the teachings that we held.

That what was when I was fifteen. Four years later, everything fell apart.

I was done homeschooling by then. My mother was done with our home church. My parents were done with their marriage. In fact, my mother was done with our whole life on the farm and it was time to go: all of us children went with her.

In that whole crumbling and smashing and falling apart and confusion of my entire world, I didn’t know what was true anymore. I didn’t know if my faith was my salvation or my millstone. All I knew was that there was a God, that He was the God who loved me when I was a child and loved me still — and that I still loved Him. But I wasn’t sure any more who He was and what He wanted – not to mention who I was; and didn’t know how to know.

In a way, my life began at nineteen, when we moved away from it all. There were suddenly options and possibilities. I wasn’t hidden away anymore, with people telling me all the things I could and could not do (although I so often wished I still was).

Now, it was okay for me to get a job outside the home. It was okay for me to make friends. It was okay for me to listen to other kinds of music. I was allowed to have a boyfriend.

But there was still that “perfect Christian girl” me that worried. One part of me was getting to know a bigger God of grace and love, Who cared about my heart, not if I wore blue jeans. The other part of me found it hard to place God in my new life because it looked so different from my old one.

(to be continued…)

Jessica Eve deCastro is a 23-year-old college freshman, newly independent apartment-dweller, and “grown-up” sister, daughter, and friend – a misplaced ‘perfect Christian’ girl who is learning that God has her right where she needs to be.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

When the first day of school finally arrived, my daughter and I were both so excited to get started!  I felt like I was truly prepared and ready to ace my first year of “real” homeschooling. After all, the key to success (in homeschooling and anything else!) is a painfully exact level of organization…right?

Perhaps not right.

My daughter wilted under my organization. I really don’t know how else to describe it. The lessons plans I had written up, detailing our school mornings down to the minute, were far too rigid for her. My idea was that we would begin each day with handwriting, and then progress through reading, math flashcards, workbook sheets, etc., always in the same order to provide a comforting structure.  That was monotonous in the extreme to her five-year-old self. I was so dismayed to see her eagerness and enthusiasm for school waning daily, and so frustrated and disappointed that my carefully planned approach had gone so awry.

As I pondered where to go with my daughter from the ruins of my organized plans, I was reminded of a place in the Scripture where God talks about what kind of plans He makes for us. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”‘ Jeremiah 29:11, well-known and easy to call to mind, but when I went to my Bible and read verses 12 and 13 as well, my eyes were opened. ”‘Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”‘

Slowly, realization dawned, as it so often does when I finally pause in the middle of all my “brilliant” human ideas and take the time to actually see what God’s word says. While I had spent weeks buried in my own plans, He had been patiently waiting for me to just seek Him with all my heart. How often do I wait until I’ve tried everything in my own strength that I can think to try, before I finally turn to God and seek Him with all my heart?

Predictably, when I finally submitted the issue of my daughter’s school time to the Lord, He immediately began to make our paths straight. My mind cleared, and I could see how hard I was pushing my little five-year-old to embrace a level of organization that was a challenge to me as an adult! Sitting down right after breakfast to a routine that never changed, and limiting her to “traditional” schoolwork (endless papers and workbooks!), were great ways  to stifle her creativity and her zest for learning.

Immediately, I started mixing things up for her by inserting a lot more fun into our school days. I had previously been too determined to achieve “success” to be willing to spend time learning through play — now I was realizing that at age five, she would still learn a lot more through play than any other way. Now we never do two “serious” subjects in a row. Once she completes a sheet of math problems, I read a book to her or she gets to do a page of mazes (which she loves). When she finishes reading a book to me or completes her reading flashcards, she gets down on the floor and goes through a series of P.E. exercises (somersaults, jumping jacks, and stretches) that usually end with her giggling uncontrollably. We have slowly accumulated some great educational games and toys, as well, like a bingo game that teaches reading, memory card match games, mosaics, and little clocks that have effortlessly taught her to tell time because she has so much fun setting and resetting them.

Letting the fun back into the time we spend together has drastically changed my daughter’s attitude toward school — she now bemoans weekends when her school tub is tucked back into the closet for a couple of days! I have also given myself permission to be less “hardcore” about the fact that we are now officially homeschooling; if my daughter does not learn best in three hour chunks of time five days a week, then the only reason to force that format upon her is if I’m more concerned about “doing it right” than I am about doing it right for her.

Recently, she and I have started taking a few minutes together at the beginning of the day to pray together, just the two of us. Since she already has two younger sisters and our house is a busy place, that one-on-one prayer time has been rare, and making it a priority every morning is really special for both of us. We pray specifically for her school time, among other things — for a sweet attitude (on both our parts!) and effective time together. I love hearing her specifically ask the Lord for this, and it has already made an impact on our relationship during school work.

It is a humbling thing when my plans fall so far short of God’s. Part of me would really like to think that I know exactly what I’m doing, but the reality is that I get myself (and the precious children for whom I am responsible) so tangled up when I act that way. All the time I spend rushing around concocting my own plans, God knows the plans that He has for me…and His highest plan is for me to find Him when I seek Him with my whole heart. And oh, how He blesses when I finally do!

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Fear is a strange thing to be writing about with two sweet children sitting on your lap. But it’s the very fact that I have these children that makes this subject a struggle for me. The thing I fear most is grief. I fear the way I would feel if something ever happened to them.

But I know I can’t let that fear eat at me all the time. One of my favorite quotes is from A.S. Roche:

“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”

These words encourage me to focus on something different when I start thinking down the “stream” of worry.

But it’s a challenge. And I don’t want to just keep running from the fear. As I was praying about it all one night, the Lord answered by showing me how grief is pain; then He reminded me of labor pains.

You see, both my son’s birth and my daughter’s birth were the same sort of pain. However, I dealt with their births very differently. For my son’s birth I was scared, and focused more on surviving than anything else. My mind was a wreck and my body followed suit. It took months to heal both physically and mentally.

My daughter’s birth was different. I had decided that I would focus on the Father instead of the hurt. Whenever I would catch myself fearing the pain, I would purposely turn my focus back to relying on God. As a result, my daughter’s birth was much easier. Technically it hurt just as badly, but somehow the hurt was much easier to bear. Healing was easier. I can’t describe how much better the experience was.

Every area of life has the potential for pain. But it’s become clear to me that how I deal with the pain affects its bite. Do I withdraw into myself and pull away from God? Or do I reach out towards Him in desperation? There’s not another option. Either I try to deal with it myself, or I rely on Him to deal with it for me.

While my son was being born, I relied on myself, and although I made it through, it was a struggle. However, with my daughter’s birth, I relied on God, and we conquered it together in half the time, literally.

To wholeheartedly rely on somebody, I have to trust them first. I know that the only way I can expect to conquer fear is by learning to trust Him. In truth, fear is just doubt disguised. When I doubt, I am not trusting, and therefore I don’t have faith.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

My fear of grief is only an issue because somewhere deep inside my heart I doubt.

What do I doubt? His judgment? His promises? His love? Who He is?

It sounds like I need to look at my relationship with my Father again. Relationship can’t be based on what used to be, but on what is now. I can’t tell myself, “We were on good terms yesterday.” What matters is today. Today may be all I have. Today is when I need to trust.

“Cast all your care upon him; for He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)

Jessiqua Wittman is a child of God, a happy wife and mother, and a trying to get published author. Visit her blog, MemoirLife, or email her at jessiquawittman at live.com.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Before me was spread tomorrow,
Waiting for a story to write.
Behind me was today,
As I looked on it tonight.
A day of promise, new and fresh
Was opening before my eyes
And I stood, afraid to enter
Lest I should mar it on its rise.
What could I do to keep
Tomorrow, so beautiful and bright –
How could I, with joy,
Tomorrow’s story write?
I had not the strength or power
Needed to complete the task
And make my Tomorrow
Worth remembering til the last.

Oh Lord, Our God above,
It is you to whom I cry –
Grant me strength to live tomorrow
And not let another day go by
That is filled with sad mistakes
I could have left undone
Had I but claimed your promises,
For you will forsake no one.

Tomorrow, guide my stumbling feet,
Direct me in my way.
Teach me how to live today
That looking back tomorrow
I will have no regrets to pine,
Nor greet the fading of the day
With an aching heart of Sorrow
That I have fallen from your way.
And when I come to tomorrow,
May I rejoice to see
That your hand is guiding, leading on
Your life shining out in  me.

by Chantel Harding, circa 2005

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

This consistent order in the cycles of life, creation, and nature are a direct reflection of the orderly nature of God.  We were created in His perfect image and are being redeemed back into that image.

Sin’s entrance into the world broke the perfect order, creating the need for us to be called from what we are now to what we will be. The very heart of God is to redeem that order back to perfection. The cycles and seasons of life are there to remind us of the process of redemption. That is why God never calls us from something without calling us to something.

God calls us:

• from sin into righteousness.
• from death into life
• from slavery into freedom
• from discontentment into contentment
• from legalism to grace
• from self pity to thankfulness
• from bitterness to forgiveness
• from pain into healing
• from brokenness into wholeness
• from darkness into dawn
• from an old year into a new year

The list goes on and everyone could add a line that details what God has called them from and what He is calling them into, because it is a basic life principle. Everywhere in Scripture God calls people from something to something. The disciples were called from being fisherman to being fishers of men, David was called from shepherding sheep to shepherding Israel, and so it continues with every Bible character — and with us today.

What He calls us to is always better than what He has called us from. It never fails. Whatever God is calling you to (even if it’s big and scary-looking!) is better than where you are now, in the place He is calling you from! God cannot deny Himself. Therefore what He is calling you towards (if you persevere and stick it out with Him!) will be better, because the very heart and nature of God is to redeem us!

It’s a new year. What is God calling you towards? Rather than making a new years’ resolution list, what about creating your own “from – to” list? I started to realize the last few years that the Lord weaves different themes throughout my year. This past year was a journey of the Lord calling me from zealous passion to mature balance in just about every area of my life. He called me from control to trust and obedience in things I couldn’t see the results of yet.

The most beautiful thing is that the Lord is the dash in between the “from — to”. He not only gives us something better, but He gives us Himself as well.

The best resolution you can have is to ask the Lord what He is calling you towards in this new year. It will focus you and give you something to hang onto no matter what the new year will bring. Ask the Lord for a glimpse of His vision for you.

Friends, what is God calling you from? Where are you right now in life, your starting place for this year?  Most importantly, what is He calling you towards?  Ask Him what He wants to redeem in your life this year. And remember, He is always there with you.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

This new year was no exception.

I began it quietly enough, with a Bible in the lamplight — fireworks crackling over the city outside my window. With silent regrets on my mind, there seemed little to anticipate. I hadn’t put my Best Friend first as loyally and fervently as He deserved in 2011. I know myself.  How could I expect the new year to be anything more than more of the same?

This time He coaxed me through the ink-splattered pages of Isaiah. For my regrets, He offered a clean slate. For my doubts, He offered Himself.

Fear not…I will pour water on him that is thirsty

Come back… I have redeemed you!

C’mon. You and I can do this. Like we did last year, remember?

Once He shook off my amnesia, of course, there was plenty to remember: new-old lessons like tree rings, layering thicker and stronger in my life with every passing year.

Apply the power of thankfulness. It cuts through the fog of self-pity and entitlement that often surrounds temptation. It snatches me out of the swamps of a self-pitying life and sets me down, exclaiming, “My borders have fallen in such pleasant places!” It’s the antidote for jealousy, for fear of the future, for doubt. No wonder He says “in everything give thanks.” I think you could call it a universal remedy.

When in doubt, be a good steward. Left to myself, I’d fritter away countless opportunities just because of uncertainty in my life. But the guy who was entrusted with a talent in Jesus’ parable didn’t get off so easily. Don’t know when your master is returning? Invest. Don’t know where I’ll be living next month? Find this location’s opportunities and use them well this month. Not sure if this is the man I’m going to marry? Unselfishly invest in his well-being while I am part of his life. Not sure if I’ve found my life’s calling? Just enrich God’s kingdom however I can today.

Trust. Just do it. I can’t keep procrastinating on trust. If I can’t trust Jesus with this unwanted, anticlimactic, homely, nubbly, little faith-tester of a circumstance (whatever it happens to be today), I won’t be ready to trust Him tomorrow with something more grandiose. Either I trust Him, or I don’t. Right here is where the rubber meets the road. And what, exactly, is trust? Just slipping your hand in His, and walking up that road together. Because He has proved faithful in the small things I can see, I trust Him in the big things I can’t see.

Like last year at this time, I’m thinking about the simple word first.

First: Jesus.

Life is too short, and too full (of bad and even the wrong good things), not to put my Best Friend first.

So by His grace, I’ll…

Make the junk in my head wait (and wait) in line, while thanksgiving has first say.

Put investing in His kingdom first.

First (and last, and always), keep my hand in His.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

As last year came to a close, I did feel that sweet sorrow of closing a familiar book, but the stronger emotion was definitely regret.

There is nothing sweet about regret. Regret is bitter and unhelpful. Yet looking back at my last year’s goals and resolutions only increased the bitterness.

In short, I had failed. I hadn’t done everything I’d said I’d do. I hadn’t been fearless and independent. I hadn’t even kept up with my pen pals, something that I truly love doing. I hadn’t worked out consistently (once?).

It was a depressing way to bid 2011 adieu. And at that moment, when I looked back on my year with such remorse, I almost named my new year “The Year of Trying Harder.”

It seemed like a good idea. It seemed like trying harder was exactly what I needed to do. Make myself exercise. Tightly schedule my correspondence. Read this many books.

Work harder.

Do better.

Regret less.

But I caught myself.

Thank Heaven, I caught myself.

This year should not be “The Year of Trying Harder.” Nor should any year. Though discipline and effort might make this year, in some measure, a year of less to regret, it might make it a year of less. Less joy, less gratitude. And shouldn’t it be up to me how much I regret, regardless of how many tasks are marked off my list?

If on December 31, 2012, I look back on this year as a year of my own effort or even my own success, what am I truly celebrating?

Me. Only me. Alone.

I recently read these words of Bill Johnson:

“We were designed to need each other — God will not give us anything that strengthens our independence. Any vision you can accomplish on your own is not from God, or at least is inferior.”

God will not give us anything that strengthens our independence, so why strive to be independent at all? Why strive to be big, successful, accomplished?

In the nick of time, I changed my mind, as we rang in the New Year with family and friends around a fire pit on an evening barely cool enough for it.

This won’t be the year of Everly trying to do Everly’s best at everything. This won’t be the year of striving to be a better person or running harder to get further. No, far from it!

May this year be a year of Grace.

Accepting Grace.

Showing Grace.

Letting Grace do His mighty work in me.

Whatever it may be.

What He does through me or chooses not to do at all, it will be grace. What He allows me to attain, these will be gifts of grace. What He keeps from me, though I long for it, will be grace upon grace. It already is; I just need to accept it.

A year of accepting Him every day like I did that first day. Of leaning into Him and out of me. Of being “okay” with what He’s “okay” with and reveling in “the banqueting-house of His love.”

That’s a much less frightening, much more promising year ahead.

“Pray that this year thou mayst be holy, humble, zealous, and patient; have closer communion with Christ, and enter oftener into the banqueting-house of his love.”

-Morning and Evening, Charles Spurgeon

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Norah is an absolute joy and the delight of our hearts! We praise God for giving us this beautiful and precious gift.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

We use PaperbackSwap and Swagbucks.  We thrift and consign.  We don’t have a landline or cable.  We buy ahead, in bulk, what’s on sale.  And we always cook based on what’s in the pantry or garden.

I thought it would be the same way with Crystal Paine’s new book.  Except that the word “budget” tipped me off.

We don’t operate on a cash-only basis.  And we don’t “budget”, per se.  But that didn’t mean I couldn’t learn a new thing or two on saving money from “The Money Saving Mom” herself.

I’ve never even considered coupon clipping, since usually the ones I see are for things we never buy.  But after reading two chapters on couponing techniques, I realized that maybe some coupons could be worth my time and save me money!

I enjoyed all the little illustrations scattered throughout the book about how saving a few dollars here and there would quickly add up to big savings of more than a thousand dollars per year.  And even though I thought I had being “cheap” down to a science, it gave me a lot of new ideas for how I could make do with a little less here, or get something for a better deal there.

But most importantly, I appreciated Crystal’s emphasis on more than just money and things.  She made it clear that contentment was more necessary than riches; giving was mentioned almost as often as saving.  And she even had a few things to say about how decluttering could help save you money!

The Money Saving Mom’s Budget: Slash Your Spending, Pay Down Your Debt, Streamline Your Life, and Save Thousands a Year is a money saving read for more than just moms.  The sooner you get started operating on these money saving principles, the more natural the habit will become.  But the sooner you learn contentment, the sooner you’ll be happy — regardless of how much money you ever save or earn.

And, you can even save the price of the book — Crystal is giving two YLCF readers a copy of The Money Saving Mom’s Budget for free!  To enter the giveaway, comment and share one money saving tip you’ve learned.  (Giveaway extended: ended January 18 at midnight EST.)

Congratulations to Laura and Christine for winning copies of The Money Saving Mom’s Budget!

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Twenty-Eleven is past. I can’t change anything about it now, even if I wanted to.  When I think about Twenty-Twelve, I think of the choices that I want to make.

This new year, I want to worry less and trust Him more. I can’t know what the days of 2012 will hold, but what I do know is that He knows. I want to rest in Him a little more this year than I ever have before.

This new year, I want to smile more. I know I don’t smile as much as I should. I want to work on those wrinkle lines around my eyes and mouth that will one day be evidence of the way I chose to view the happenings of my life.

This new year, I want to find joy everywhere. I want to be like a bird who sings even when my heart feels like there is no song. I want to find joy in unexpected places, and I want to be like the stars, and light up the darkness around me by sharing  the joy He gives wherever I go.

This new year, I want to read more real books again.  Blogs are wonderful and can inspire and challenge me in so many areas of my life, but there is still nothing like sitting under the trees with a book and soaking it in and letting God use the words to speak strength to my heart.

This new year, I want to listen more and talk less. Sometimes, saying it best really does mean saying nothing at all. It is a skill I feel God asking me to perfect.

This new year, I want to become a better companion. I want to bless my husband, to hold up his hands, to challenge him and encourage him in the good things of this life.  I want to be a better friend. I want to reach out more, and be a blessing to the dear people God has put in my life. Only God’s grace can help change my fumbling attempts into something beautiful and good.

This new year, I want to live this life that He’s given me on purpose. I want to let Him direct my steps, and not be so easily distracted by the nonessential things.

This new year, I want to learn how to write.  It overwhelms me when I think of how much I don’t know about writing well. If writing is part of what makes me feel His smile, I want to become better, so that what I write will honor Him more fully.

This new year, more than anything, I want Him to be the purpose of my life and my passions. Nothing else matters, except that He is honored by the humble outworkings of my life.

I don’t really know what Twenty-Twelve is going to look like. Sometimes that both thrills me and terrifies me a little. But now, in the dawning of this new year, these are the kinds of things I want to choose. I can’t change circumstances, but I can choose to find beauty and to trust Him with the future. This is where I want my focus.

This new year, what do you choose?

This new year, may He be the very center of our choices.

photograph of Janine P. in a beautiful Colorado mountain field taken by her husband, Joshua

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

It was a few weeks before Thanksgiving.  We decided to go on a special outing as a family for the afternoon. Plans changed several times, but we finally landed upon Plan C — the park — with the picnic dinner I’d already packed.

We enjoyed a nice picnic and then proceeded to the busy playground. We very rarely go there on the weekends, preferring to play when it’s less crowded.  But since our family was a ratio of 2:2, I figured it safe to have each of us big kids watch one little kid.

But it didn’t take long to notice something very disturbing. As I was pushing my son on the swing, I didn’t chat with the other parents who were also pushing their children — I just pushed. There was a dad pushing his daughter there, but he was preoccupied. Yes, he was pushing his little girl and she was having fun, but for him, it seemed a good way to occupy her while he was busy talking on his cell phone.

While helping my daughter work her way across the monkey bars, I encountered a sweet little girl of seven, who was also trying to complete the task of making it all the way across the bars without dropping. My daughter and I struck up a conversation with this little girl, and after she’d had a few failed attempts at the monkey bars, I began looking around for her parent. I was helping my child, and I wanted to help her, but not without making contact with her parent first (that’s just a given courtesy on the playground). There was no one nearby who looked like they were keeping an eye on her.

Then she offered a piece of valuable information by saying, “That’s my dad”, as she pointed across the playground to a man sitting on a bench, completely engrossed in his business. “He’s the one with the blue iPad!”

I couldn’t help but wonder: was she proud that he was her dad or proud of the fancy contraption in his hand? Then again, why shouldn’t she be excited about his latest piece of technology? After all, she obviously could see where his priorities were.

So I helped her. A total stranger (thankfully a nice one) helped her across the monkey bars, rather than her own dad.

As my kids played in the sandbox later that afternoon, their daddy and I sat on the edge with our toes in the sand.  We couldn’t help but observe all the other kids who were like those little girls: playing at the playground and making memories, but not with their parents. The majority (yes, we counted — it was 75%) of the parents at the playground were so absorbed in their handheld devices that they had no idea that their kids would like nothing better than to be played with, simply played with.

I felt like making an announcement on the playground — the kind I’d like to make when sitting in a restaurant and seeing people “having lunch” with someone while talking to or texting someone else. Couldn’t they see their children’s eyes saying, ”Tell me I’m loved by making me a priority!”?

It’s so easy to get sucked into the web world. Oh, the time that can be wasted on things that aren’t really that important, all while our children are ignored.  I want to stay so sensitive in this area.  If my kids feel like they play second-fiddle to a phone, computer, etc., they’ll only follow suit as they get older — they’ll think that’s what is normal and important.

I want my children to come to me and engage with me, especially as they get older; but how can I expect them to if I don’t show them the same courtesy?

Someday (soon, I hope) that man will wish he had helped his little girl across those monkey bars; he’ll want that night to return when he could encourage her and hear her laugh as she completed her task. All too soon she’ll be grown and he’ll be left alone, holding his blue iPad.

Further Reading:
“If you really love your children…” by Sally Clarkson
“Why the Kids Really Need a Little Red Hen Mama” by Ann Voskamp

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

I’ve made new year’s resolutions as long as I can remember. In the beginning they had to do with flossing my teeth and writing in my journal more frequently. Eventually they got deeper: I made vows to learn to love God more in the new year, and to “work on having healthier relationships.” Now my resolutions have reverted to the concrete again, though I have no idea why. I suppose am unable to philosophize when three children take turns waking me in a two-hour rotation through the night…

I digress. This year’s resolutions include…

• Learn to make Kimchi. I don’t even know what this is. Some kind of sauerkraut that everyone who eats healthier than I do absolutely loves.
• Be a reader of books. As opposed to a reader of the internet. Nothing against the internet, but if I want to be a good writer, I need to feed myself the best of the best, which means I’m going to concentrate on time-tested classics in my spare time.
• Study massage therapy. This is a big goal — a life long one I’m finally taking action towards this year.
• Make my studio a beautiful place. This will mean organizing that closet and making curtains, among other things.

Why am I sharing these goals with you? Because one of the secrets to actually getting closer to your goals is accountability. Failure is less of an option when others would know. When family or friends know about my goal, we become a team of sorts — some will cheer, some will help me practically towards my goals, others will inspire me by their progress ahead of me on the journey. Also, I’m a real sucker for affirmation, which I’ll be sure to get when I report back to a friend on a goal met.

Another reason I love resolutions is that I’ve learned the little trick that turns them into New Year’s Predictions – something that turns goals into actualities. It’s not magic, and you’ve heard it before: just break each goal into smaller, daily tasks. This takes a little planning, a little setting out on paper. Big goals like learning massage might require a calender and the index of a massage therapy book, dividing out the chapters over the next year. Little goals like a new recipe mean jotting down new ingredients on your shopping list for this week. But if you take the time to divide that goal into small, daily or weekly tasks, and then show up the next day ready to roll your sleeves up and get to work (even if it’s only for 15 minutes), then by February your year might already be shaping up to be one filled with personal growth milestones.

Personally, it’s going be great to have curtains in my studio. I’m going start on that tomorrow.

Have you made a plan that will turn your resolutions into predictions?

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Cool and clear was the night
That shepherds watched their sheep;
Up in fields on yonder hills,
While in the valley Bethlehem lay asleep.

They gazed up into the starry sky,
And they talked of things yet to be
They talked of the Promised One,
And of Messiah, who their hearts longed to see.

As shepherds watched their slumbering sheep,
A glorious star appeared that night.
It was brighter than ten thousand stars;
The dark sky it made seem light.

“What can this thing mean?”
The shepherds watched with fear,
When an angel said to them,
“Don’t be afraid; I bring a message of good cheer!”

“Today time is fulfilled and the Messiah
That you long for, now at last has come!
Born this night in Bethlehem’s stable,
You will find the Promised One.”

When he had finished speaking,
The sky was again filled with light,
Ten thousand and ten thousand angels
Filled the air with song that night.

“Glory to God in the Highest!”
In triumph their voices rang,
“And peace on earth, goodwill to men!”
In glory the angels sang.

Then all was quiet again,
The night once more was still.
But never did the shepherds  forget,
That night with rapture filled.

When angels sang on Bethelhem-hills,
While all the world was asleep
And welcomed our Messiah,
While shepherds watched their sheep.

poem by C. Harding
photos by Elisabeth A.

This next week will be a quiet one here on YLCF.  Maybe you’ll want to look back and read a post or two you missed, or catch up with old friends in the virtual Christmas Post Card Exchange.  Know that each of us are holding you dear in our hearts and in our prayers this holiday — holy day — season.
-Gretchen for the YLCF Team

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

We loved the novelty of walking down the middle of a road blocked off for an art show, casually taking our time through any stall that interested us. But the real treat was when we came upon the booth of an artist we knew.  Mom especially loved pottery and had taken classes and formed relationships with several local potters. So when we saw the gleam of sun on glaze, we left off flipping through watercolor prints or trying on funky sliver rings and hurried to the tent of one of our friends.

Mr. Givens was big, hairy, loud, and fun, yet with the unmistakable flair of a true artist in his every move and word. We admired his work, but when we were at his booth, we spent most of our time with him — watching him slap a hunk of clay on his demo wheel to form something graceful out of a slimy, muddy mess while we giggled at his jokes or heard about his latest technique.

Then there was Mrs. Redman —  tall and thin, full of artistic angles and a wild mane of curly, red hair. As much as we loved her affordable seconds bin and adorable clay Christmas ornaments, we loved her voice, her smile, her sparkly, kind eyes, and the way she would converse with us kids as individuals even more.

Yes, our favorite parts of the art shows were the artists.

And that’s why it’s odd when, in the middle of the night, when all is quiet and I have a chance for thoughts of my own, I choose to admire and caress the various blessings in my life, rather than turning my heart toward the Creator of these gifts.

He’s the God of the universe, yet we can call Him friend. We can sit with Him and listen and share and watch His artistic hands at work, and get to know Him better…

…or we can keep our distance and just admire the gifts. The depth of our enjoyment depends on a choice for fellowship over mere acquaintance.

This Christmas, when you have a moment to pause and reflect in the gentle light of the tree, will you choose to revel in the gifts, or the great Giver?

Photos taken by Elisabeth at an Armenian pottery shop in the Old City of Jerusalem.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t come back just yet, Jesus – and don’t let us die yet either. There are too many happy things still to enjoy. And I haven’t tried that new box of watercolours.

My love of Christmas hasn’t waned any in the years since then. Those of us with the dubious honour of belonging to that dark wasteland between Generation X and Gen Y are supposed to be filled with a cynical sense of meh about the commercial nature of the whole affair; we were meant to outgrow Christmas a long time ago. But I can’t help it. I love it.

I love church carol services, hearing gospel-focused music on the radio, trawling around looking at Christmas lights, pushing through the masses at shopping malls, watching Little Women, sitting outside after dark, preparing plates of crackers and cheese, even feeling the slow-growing march of Summer pressing in and onto us. I love that, in place of stockings, our family still uses the dorky pillowcases we’ve had since forever. I love that we all still wake up too early on Christmas morning. I love that, before anything else, my Dad will read the nativity story from the gospels, or perhaps a Christ-child prophecy from Isaiah. I understand the concern that many have about this season: that in amongst all the festivity, true meaning gets trampled underfoot. But for me, every bit of it shouts the Messiah’s name, and I love it.

Loving something, however, doesn’t mean it will always meet my needs or fulfill my expectations. In fact, sometimes it seems that the more invested I am in something, the more capacity it has to break my heart. Christmas does exactly that for so many of us. We want to it to be a time of overwhelming love, but we fail to be loving or someone fails to love us. We want to give, but there isn’t enough. We want to feel secure, but there is no job waiting for us in the new year. We wanted to have our stuff together by now, but everything remains up in the air. We wanted this Christmas to be the one we finally get to share with a beautiful man or a new baby or that loved one who keeps insisting that God is irrelevant, and instead we’re alone. We want to feel peace, but instead we carry regrets.

Christmas can be beautiful, but it can also hurt.

That’s why my childhood prayers at the end of each Christmas Day betrayed a poor theology of God’s greatness. It’s okay – and fairly normal – to want to live a long life. But holding onto Christmas while saying ‘wait’ to Christ makes no sense. It makes no sense because Christmas can and often does disappoint, but Christ never will.

That doesn’t mean, of course, that following Christ always seems like the happiest thing. It doesn’t mean that we won’t occasionally feel disappointed by Christ. We may feel let down by Him, but we will not be let down by Him. The gifts He offers might not be ones we had on our wishlists; maybe they don’t even seem like the right fit. But we should pause before asking for a refund. He sees deeper into our hearts than we can possibly know, and pushing aside His intended gift while clinging to our own ideas of happiness is like turning down a feast because we’re certain the turkey bone we’re gnawing on is infinitely more satisfying. ‘What father gives his kids stones when they ask for bread?’, Jesus once asked. If human, earthly, fallible parents know how to give good things to their children, imagine, then, the infinitely greater gift-giving of a perfect, heavenly Father (Matthew 7:9-11). It’s impossible for us, who love Him, to begin to conceive what He has in store (1 Corinthians 2:9).

I want your Christmas to be wonderful, drenched in hope and happiness. If it is, only imagine how much greater God’s heavenly gifts will be. But if Christmas this year disappoints, or leaves you feeling lost, rejoice that in Christ you are truly found. He is able to do more and more abundantly than we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21). Look up, my friend. The Son is shining.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.

Winter was not my favorite of the seasons, but my family and I eagerly looked forward to the days after Thanksgiving when we would fill our long evenings with baking banana bread and packing up little bags of cheer to share with our neighbors near and far at Christmas time.

The nights were often windy and the cold was good at finding any little crack to creep into, even if you dressed up like a snowman with parkas and mittens and scarves. Trudging through deep snow with heavy boots on was exhausting sometimes. But there was nothing  that compared to the expression on those faces as we sang words of hope and good cheer to the lonely people who lived tucked away in the mountainside around our country home. Seeing tears come to hardened eyes, and smiles light up faces that had looked weary and sad made the cold seem insignificant and the boots feel lighter as we went out  night after night to go caroling.

I treasure the many memories made while going a-caroling to those who hadn’t had any Christmas joy for a very long time.  Most of these people did not claim to know Jesus. Most of them had long, bitter lives that had hardened them and made them try to forget.

I may have never been able to go to their house and ask to pray with them. We may not have been able to go and tell them that there is Someone who still loves them, no matter what they have done. But at Christmastime, we could go and sing songs of Bethlehem. We could share love and a little glimpse of Jesus that we could have never shared with these rough men and women at any other time or place.

I can’t tell you if any of those neighbors found Jesus because of the carols we sang them or the love we shared with them on those cold nights. I don’t know if they think of the tidings of joy that we sang to them, of the story of One who was born to die so that we could live.  I don’t know if any of it made a difference in the long run or if with the last slice of banana bread and the last fading of winter, it was all a forgotten memory.

But the one thing that I do know is that on those cold nights, I felt that this was my corner and my chance to share good news. I felt that God was smiling on us as we sang with a prayer in our hearts and that it was not wasted time.  I know that these were some of the happiest nights of the season. They are evenings I will always think of with fondness, no matter how many Christmases I am blessed to enjoy.

And this year, though it may be rain we trudge through instead of snow, with so many people sad and alone and discouraged, hurt or out of work, and with my own heart longing for home, I think it is time to go a-caroling once more. I can’t wait.

©2012 Young Ladies Christian Fellowship. All Rights Reserved.