But by Monday evening, I decided something was definitely wrong with his rear right paw and possibly also the left paw because he kept lifting his paws off the ground, mostly the right one but sometimes the left one as well. I tried to take a look, but he almost ripped my face off when I touched his paw. So without a second set of hands to hold him, all I could see was a little bit of his paw getting a little raw from him licking. I decided to take him to the vet on Wednesday if he didn’t get better.

Yesterday I dropped Foster off at the vet in the morning, and let me not digress and talk about the receptionist again this time cause it will just frustrate the shit out of me even more. Foster’s paws had been getting worse, not being able to play with Georgia and having trouble pooping since he has a hard time getting into the position to push since he keeps trying to lift his rear right paw off the ground. But I wasn’t worried too much because I thought it was some superficial wound like a little cut on his paw pad made worse by him licking.

The vet found out not only his rear paws, but all four of his paws have skin legions or ulcers that look as if he scraped them on a rough concrete surface. The rear left paw was in the worst condition. The vet thinks Foster has Lupus because not only there was no such occasion for Foster to have hurt his paws like that but it’s very uncommon for a dog to hurt ALL of his paws like that. He’s pretty sure it is lupus since he has seen enough cases like this even though the only way to make sure is to do a biopsy.

I am angry. I am tired. I am frustrated. I am afraid I’m about to crack.

For now, I came home with antibiotics and anti-inflammatory for the wounds. If his paws don’t get better after this round of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory, then we’ll go from there and treat it with steroids. In the mean time, I’m looking into natural remedies that would help with canine lupus, but it looks even the most holistically minded people seem to say the steroid is the way to go (from what I’ve found out in a very short period of time). If you have dealt with canine lupus or know anybody who has, please let me know. I would like to hear about the experience.

I’m too sexy for my itch Too sexy for my itch

Too sexy for a bitch

This past weekend, however, I did not have a chance to take a nap. I was busy Saturday doing weekend stuff like laundry and whatnots and running around different stores to find things I need, like foam for seat cushion and an enzymatic cleaner, etc. I was at work all day Sunday since it was the monthly maintenance Sunday when we do all our maintenance work on the servers and I worked longer hours than usual and hence no naps for me again. So now, yesterday and today, I’ve been having trouble. I’m tired and sleepy. My eyes keep closing and my brain is foggy. All I want to do is lie down somewhere and take a little nap.

Are you wondering if there is any point to this post yet? Cause I sure can’t remember why I started this post like this, but I KNOW I had a point… I just can’t remember. Sorry but I’m telling you I had a point. Trust me although I’m not sure if I digressed somewhere above. I’ll try to update it later if I do remember. Maybe I shouldn’t post this. But then I may never remember. So I’m going to post it anyway. Feel free to give me suggestions on what my point would be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I’m going to eat cakes and pies and all kinds of artery-clogging and fattening food in honor of your birthday today cause that’s the least I can do, ya know?

As you can see, I can work on only a few items a day since I only have an hour or two a day on a good day, and certain things need to be done during certain hours of the day. But I’m not using it to improve efficiency although by organizing my to-do list like this, it did improve.

There are a lot of items in the Backlog category, which I use to put the items that I need to do but not ready to work on or the items that I need to remember to do some time in the future, like buying the frozen raw food patties for the dogs and portion them or preparing the daily medications and supplements for each dogs  for whoever is going to take care of my dogs while I’m gone, etc.

It’s a pretty cool tool. I hope they come up with an app for iPhone by the time I get it next year since I would like to be able to see this when I don’t have my laptop or  internet connection.

The seat of the chair that she usually sleeps in and I use to hold her upright after her meals is completely soaked with her vomit. So I need to get the foam to replace it, and looking at it online, it’s more than $200 for one stinking foam for the seat! I feel like I’m in a twilight zone or something.

I’m tired. There is a road block everywhere I turn. I still haven’t filed application for passport yet since I can’t confirm the information I have on my parents’ birth place. I left a message for my vet to discuss boarding my dogs there twice. I haven’t heard back. Getting Bailey chair was another circus yesterday. Apparently people who I contacted to have it made are going on a vacation on the 16th of this month for ten days. They were once burned by somebody who had a Bailey chair made and didn’t want it when it was finished, so they do not start making it until they get the payment. So they wanted the check overnighted if I wanted it shipped before they leave for their vacation. But I rarely use checkbook any more, I do my banking online 99.999999% of the time, so I couldn’t find my checkbook. And the story goes on and on and on…

I’m tired. Giving up sounds so sweet right about now.

As some of you know, I have been trying to figure out a way to visit my dad in Korea before he dies. So many things need to happen for me to be able to go because three of my four dogs are special-needs.

Brandy cannot be properly taken care of in boarding situation or I cannot find anybody to take care of her because she needs to be held in upright position after a meal for an hour and will still regurgitate some food due to megaesophagus. So I searched for a way to build a Bailey chair for Brandy. When I say I searched for a way to build one, I mean I searched for somebody who can build it for me. Thankfully, I found some people who custom build it according to Brandy’s measurements and ship it charging only material and shipping cost.  They FedEx it so it doesn’t get damaged, so it’s going to run about $150, but they are going to give me the exact cost of shipping as soon as they find out. I’m waiting to hear from the vet if they are willing to take care of her with the Bailey Chair.

Both Brandy and Brooklyn need to be kept separate from any other dogs including each other. I’m hoping the vet and the staff are willing to put up with managing them separately from others.

Georgia of course is a problem. First of all, I’m afraid they will lose her. She’s so scared of strangers and strange places, she will do anything, including even having to go near the object of her fear, to get out of the scary situation by bolting. And she’s quite an escape artist because of her determination. Second of all, she will probably not eat or drink, and will refuse to pee or poop on leash if they bring her outside. I still have to find a solution for her, preferably somebody staying at my place.

I picked up an application for passport and filled it out. Tomorrow, I’ll have the passport photos taken and drop off the application. I hear it will take about four to six weeks to get the passport, but with more fee, the expedited service would take two to three weeks, unless of course something goes wrong, which was the case for a coworker of mine, who paid for the expedited service but got his passport three months after the application.

Other than these, there are still a lot of things that need to be done, like looking for the substitute for the dogs’ raw diet, etc. I constantly think of something and have to write it down, but God forbid something comes to mind when I can’t write things down! It turns out my memory lasts only 2 minutes on a good day, and why is it always the case something comes to mind when I can’t write things down?

All in all, with the airfare and boarding etc, I will need about $2,500 if I can buy the tickets soon, which will not be the case since I don’t know when I’ll get my passport. Whatever it is, all of it will be borrowed from a friend since my credit card is maxed out and can’t take it any more.

Now I’ll be very busy for some time cleaning up the pigsty I call home in case I get lucky and find somebody to look after Georgia at home.

Please pray that my dad is still alive when I finally get to go see him.

Maybe, just maybe those squirrels would come down here if I stand on two legs and wish it long enough and stare at them hard enough…

I gathered all I needed and sent the information off to mom, which, if anybody else is interested, can be found in Earth Clinic ACV page. I was looking around Earth Clinic to get more information for Georgia other than the correct dosage of ACV since, on top of arthritis, she has allergies and is prone to yeast infection and of course has anxiety issues. And you know what caught my eye?

People take ACV to lose weight! Say what? Really? Seriously? Holy crap! Really? Seriously? Really? What baffles me is that there are so many people who obviously are not selling ACV are claiming it works. Out of those who either said Yea they lost weight or Nay they didn’t, about 80% said Yea and 20% Nay. Are these people joking? Are they delusional? One person actually wrote that he lost 12lb, from 193lb to 181lb, in 15 days by taking apple cider vinegar! Excuse me? Come again? Just by taking ACV? Unfuckingbelievable! Are you sure? Are you slightly loopy?

I’m very skeptical doesn’t even cover it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for ACV. There are just too many health benefits well documented to push it aside as some humbug. I know a lot of people are not keen on remedies from “alternative medicine,” which by the way, seems like a misnomer to me because in fact, these remedies have been in existence way waaaaaay before what we now call “conventional medicine” at present. So basically what we call “alternative medicine” really is conventional and vice versa. And I know many opponents of these remedies give an example of somebody’s experience in which a certain remedy has not worked. But people should keep in mind that what works for many doesn’t mean it will work for EVERYBODY and what doesn’t work for many doesn’t mean it will not work for ANYBODY. But I digress. I seem to digress a lot these days, but it’s my blog and I can digress if I want to, kk?

So… where was I? I think I was at skeptical but all for ACV status above. Yeah, and as I read more about ACV, it sounded more like a cure-all miracle substance that could be taken orally or topically on skin. At least according to the ACV enthusiasts, that is. A lot of side effects and warnings were posted as well, but after reading through a dozen or so pages, it seems they were mostly the results of incorrect usage or just plain stupidity. For example, some airhead said she wouldn’t recommend it because her kitten cried in pain and walked around howling when she scrubbed (SCRUBBED!!!) undiluted ACV to a sore with a toothbrush, the practice, by the way, she continued for a whole fucking week! Yes, there are people THAT stupid! But 80% of people who lost weight by taking ACV is too hard to ignore. Either ACV really does help you lose weight, or ACV makes you delusional and loopy.

So after looking at pros and cons, as a community service to you all at the risk of becoming delusional and loopy, because I’m just so wonderful like that, I decided to be the guinea pig and try it out for myself. I’m going to go get some ACV and start taking it. I’m very skeptical, but you know that if anything sounds too good to be true, I’d probably jump on it and try it. No, you don’t? Should I remind you of that gadget I once bought that you wear around your waist and the gadget itself does all the work for you and you get fabulous abs in no time without you moving a muscle yourself? I will record my weight and report back on my weight change if there is any, but there is a great chance of me gaining weight than losing because that has been the steady trend the last four years or so.

Cross your fingers for the day I announce I have lost weight, no matter due to real weight loss or due to delusional and/or slightly loopy tendencies because I’d be happier either way as long as I think I look fabulous.

Eleven years is a long time. Some days we joked around – he especially liked to squeeze in the words “viagra” and “KY gel” somewhere. Some days we had nothing to say to each other than greetings. Some days we argued the mainframe or the Unix server was to blame for printing problem – I was usually right. Some days we talked about current events. Some days we showed each other the pictures of pets and talked about them. He didn’t know how many cats he had. Some days we had screaming matches, in one of which the sentences like “Fuck you” and “Go fuck yourself” flew at each other, and as a consequence, we ignored each other for months afterward. Some days he tried to convince me that I should incorporate myself as a nonprofit organization to deduct expense for my dogs. Some days he tried to sell me vitamins. Some days he tried to convince me I should get an expensive hobby and get a tax deduction. Some days he tried to convince me I should get cash for my clunker. Some days he tried to convince me that I should stop eating red meat and more veggies. Yeah, he usually tried to convince me, come to think of it. Not very successfully, I might add.

Several months ago, he tried to get rid of his pennies by leaving them out on top of a long  file cabinet next to his desk. He thought some people would take them. To his dismay, people started leaving their own unwanted pennies there and the number of pennies quickly grew. With so many pennies, some people started creating “penny art,” making images of things or just some abstract patterns with those pennies. Of course some others enjoyed destroying the “art.” He couldn’t understand why nobody wanted to take those pennies even after I repeatedly asked him why didn’t HE?

When I came back to work this Monday after a week’s absence, I was told he had been in ICU for 10 days already. He had called in sick the entire week before the week I missed work, so I hadn’t seen him for two weeks. I was told that he had initially gone to the hospital for throwing up blood and it turned out he had been bleeding internally. It had something to do with his liver, and he had liver cancer removed a few years ago – it must have been around the time we were ignoring each other because I had no idea he had liver cancer until two days ago. The doctors at the hospital wanted to transfer him to another hospital for liver transplant but before they could do that, his condition worsened.

He was a friendly enough person. With all his eccentricities and idiosyncracies, after more than twenty years of working at the same place, a lot of people at work maintained a love-hate relationship with him and he had become like an endearing family member. Some people  went to the hospital to visit. I had planned to visit him with two other coworkers today during lunch, even though he was not conscious, because we were told that he didn’t have much time left. His kidney was shutting down.

On top of his desk next to a bunch of scattered pennies, now sits a small leafy plant with a yellow ribbon with a card saying “In loving memory of Ben.” He died around eight o’clock this morning at the young age of sixty-five.

Rest in peace, Ben.