[Informative, honest and something of an eye-opener]

I’ve always been very public about my ABBCOM love, and I think you’ve captured the essence of why people love it perfectly, Rich.

Finally, I can not believe I missed the Robert Mugabe night – I actually howled with laughter reading that!

Bravo!!

All the others are legitimate everyday Parliamentary expenses.

So this is where you are hiding out these days. I am very happy to hear that you are enjoying NOT being an MP, as I did not vote for you at the last election.

However, as a now ex-constituent, I am still curious (and extremely furious) as to a number of your MP’s expense claims that have still not been accounted for.

These being…

1. On 15th January 2007 at Wooley Edge services (M1) you did claim for 1xCurly Wurly; 1x’Woman’s Weekly’; 1x box of ‘Milk Tray’; and 1x Leather Driving Gloves, Emergency Triangle, Tartan Blanket and matching Cravat, Drivers Box-Set.
Total Cost: £46.78

2. On 23rd May 2008 at Argos, York, you did claim for 1x Lego ‘Star Wars’ X-Wing Fighter, and 1x Hornby ‘Flying Scotsman’ train set.
Total cost: £229.98

3. At ‘Poundstretchers’, Leeds, on 18th January 2009 you did claim for 1x ‘Star Wars’ Lunch-Box Set.
Total Cost: £3.99

4. During a four day period covering the Liberal Democrat Party Conference, August 2009, you did make payments totalling £26500 to a Ms. Mae Ling-Long (AKA Miss Lucky-Licky) for sevices recieved (you have still not confirmed the exact nature of the services which Ms. Ling-Long provided).

5. On 25th September 2009, you made payment (and subsequent claim) to the UK Passport Office for £77.50, on behalf of a UK Passport application for a Ms. Mae-Ling-Long, a Thai national.

6. On 16th December 2009, you did claim for 1x ‘Turbo 3000′ Foot-Spa; 1x Thigh-High Stiletto Patent Leather Boots, Size 9.5; 1x 1000x7mm Wrall-Plugs; obtained from a MrCherryfruit69 via Ebay.
Total Cost £34.60 (including FREE local pick-up)

7. Finally, at TK-Max, Wheatley Hall Road, Doncaster, you did claim for 1x Star Wars ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ Single Duvet Cover and Pillow Case Set.
Total Cost £11.99 (-30% ‘manager’s special’ sale reduction)

Remember Mr Mound, you can run but you can’t hide: even Milosovic was caught in the end! (although I didn’t agree with the charges brought against him personally. In my view he was always acting well within his rights during the Balkan wars of the 1990′s as the Soverign leader of the former Yugoslavia: I’m sure Lady Thatcher would hold the same view)

I hope to be hearing from you soon.
All the best!
Name and Address supplied upon request

Woo.