7 Ways to Become More Resilient This Year

Helen Odessky — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 20:47:08 +0000

Build good supportive relationships. It has been found that people who have good relationships with family and friends are happier and more resilient.
Adopt a hopeful outlook. Optimism has been linked to resilience. If this does not come naturally to you, ask yourself how a more optimistic friend would look at the situation.
Remove the crisis from setbacks. Getting through a difficult situation is tough enough without feeling the pressure and urgency of overreaction. Try to focus on action instead.
Take excellent care of yourself. When you get adequate rest, nutrition and exercise, setbacks become easier to weather.
Look at setbacks as a chance to grow and learn something about yourself. People who adopt this attitude are able to see the situation with a broader perspective.
Develop and support a positive view of yourself. Remind yourself that you have strengths and resources that will help you get through tough situations and setbacks. Make a list of your strengths and refer to it periodically.
Work on goals and take action. Having personal goals and taking steps to remedy or better your situation has been linked with resilience building.

If you need help in the Chicago area, call Dr. Helen Odessky at (847) 529-8600.

Anxiety in Men

Helen Odessky — Thu, 01 Dec 2016 22:22:49 +0000

In my practice I frequently work with men who experience panic or anxiety. Of course every one experiences anxiety uniquely. However, what I noticed is that men experience anxiety differently than women. In general, men trend toward thinking in categorical terms such as sick/well, strong/weak, right/wrong or win/lose. When applied to the experience of anxiety this often creates a barrier to seeking help. After all, if we think categorically, then seeking help can be interpreted as a sign of weakness or that there is something wrong with us as a person. This involves the feelings of shame, and many times men struggle in silence, or worse yet, they pretend that everything is okay. Therefore, rather than showing worry or expressing how anxious they feel, men may act irritable, indecisive or show more doubt than usual. They may become angry or show frustration when forced to confront a situation that makes them anxious or become silent and stonewall. This makes a conversation about anxiety a tricky one.

If a man in your life is struggling with anxiety you can help him by approaching he issue gently, and avoiding putting a label on it. For example, you may say something like “I have noticed that you haven’t been yourself lately” or “It seemed like you are not enjoying yourself the way you used to.” Approaching the topic without judgment allows you to have a conversation free of diagnosis or labels and allows him to have a space to talk and feel heard. Second, after you have a conversation going, ask him what he thinks might be a possible solution. If he brings up seeking help, you can be supportive of the idea by asking if he would like you to be part of the process, either by helping him find a therapist, or accompanying him to the first session. If he does not have a solution, you can ask him if he has considered counseling. If his answer lets you know that he feels seeking help is a sign of weakness, let him know that you consider acknowledging a problem and attempting to solve it a sign of strength, not weakness. Finally, he may be wondering if he has disappointed you with this revelation, so let him know how much you admire and respect him for being open with you about his struggles. This is no small thing, and gives him a “win” when he is having a rough time.

If you would like help with anxiety in the Chicago area, call Dr. Helen Odessky at (847) 529-8600.

Managing Holiday Anxiety

Helen Odessky — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 02:21:59 +0000

Holidays can be a time of joy and connectedness, as well as increased stress and anxiety. The anxiety often comes from a few sources; expectations, being around family members who bring up uncomfortable topics, and increased demands on our time and energy.

We love the holidays, however Hollywood movies have created this myth of the magical holiday, with a magical Hollywood ending, where everyone ends up having a good time and even relationships rife with years of conflict are mended. When we predictably have a less than magical holiday experience we can feel disappointed, cheated and bitter.

The reality is that putting this much pressure on one single day usually robs us of the enjoyment that we can experience. The solution is often to adjust our expectations. Expecting bumps in the road helps us prepare for them and to have a game plan. Your child might not love the gift you got them, but focusing on being together and doing things for someone other than themselves is something to be treasured.

Often being around family members can create stress, particularly if they feel that the holiday get together is the perfect time to quiz you about you life. These questions can range from asking about your romantic life, starting a family, a career change or even be disguised as advice on parenting your children. Worse, yet, sometimes uncomfortable and contentious political topics are brought up. Although we cannot avoid someone bringing up an uncomfortable topic, we can deflect the question, use humor or change the subject. If all else fails, you can politely but firmly exit the conversation to help the host, speak to someone else or use the restroom.

The increased demands on our time and energy can range from long travel times to preparing holiday meals, and managing holiday traditions and rituals. Taking good care of our selves is often put on hold. However it can make a huge difference in how we manage stress. Deciding to get adequate sleep, exercise and some downtime, is helpful. Even five minutes of diaphragmatic breathing per day has been shown to decrease overall stress levels—something that most of us can do even when we are busy with the holidays. Finally, focusing on what we truly like about the holiday, often gives us something real and meaningful to look forward to.

If you need help with managing anxiety in the Chicago area, give Dr. Helen Odessky a call today at (847) 529-8600.

Can You Pass Out During a Panic Attack?

Helen Odessky — Fri, 11 Sep 2015 16:57:54 +0000

Find out the answer to the #1 question I get about panic attacks in this short video.

I hope you found this video helpful, I’d love to hear your feedback. If you need help overcoming Panic and Anxiety in the Chicago area, please give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847)529-8600.

Relaxation 101: Belly Breathing

Helen Odessky — Thu, 10 Sep 2015 22:33:35 +0000

The key to effective relaxation is to master belly breathing or diaphragmatic breathing. Please watch this short video below and practice this technique to reduce stress and feel calmer in minutes!

I hope you found this video helpful, I’d love to hear your feedback. If you need help overcoming Anxiety or Panic in the Chicago area, please give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847)529-8600.

How to Stop a Panic Attack

Helen Odessky — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 18:58:27 +0000

If you or someone you love struggles with panic attacks, please watch my new video “How to Stop a Panic Attack”

If you need help with Panic Attacks in the Chicago area, give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847)529-8600 to see if she can help.

Why Facing Your Fear Has Not Helped Your Anxiety

Helen Odessky — Wed, 05 Aug 2015 20:47:25 +0000

“Face Your Fears and they’ll never bother you again!” At least–that’s the promise! Except that it does not always work. If you are like many people that I see in my office you may have attempted to face your fears and found that it provides little relief. In fact, sometimes it even makes you more afraid to go into the same situation again!

Why does this happen? In my experience facing your fears is only effective if you have done the right kind of prep work. What I mean by that is, not that you have thought about it many times, or prepared yourself by doing your deep breathing techniques or relaxation exercises. Nor do I mean that mean that that you “feel fully ready.” To be honest, you may never feel fully ready to face your fears head on, and that’s okay. You may still be somewhat anxious and even that is Okay and will not derail your progress.

What I mean by the right kind of prep-work is that you have done the work on how your thinking may be contributing and sparking your anxiety cycle. What I mean by the right kind of prep-work is that you know how to respond to your anxious thoughts and physical sensations before you begin to face your fears. The reason that just facing your fears does not work, is that we often just muscle through the situation and rather than having it be a therapeutic learning experience. The only lesson that we get this way is “I am just glad it’s over with!” The result is that it cements our fear and anxiety rather than having a positive effect.

The next time you decide to face your fear, examine your thoughts and your beliefs. The truth is, if you cannot dismiss your feared thoughts effectively—you will get limited if any benefit from facing your fears. You are better off getting some cognitive behavioral therapy that will help you respond differently to your feared thoughts and then facing your fears. If you need help with facing your fears in the Chicago area, please give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847) 529-8600.

What it Really Feels Like to Live With Anxiety

Helen Odessky — Thu, 30 Jul 2015 19:03:42 +0000

It can happen out of the blue, you just had some good news, some really good news and your chest feels like you cannot freely breathe. You have felt this before, many times and yet every time this feeling comes back, it is hard not to dread it. This fantasy you have of a world where anxiety does not happen to you has been shredded and the elephant sitting on your chest just will not let up. You search for the free, unencumbered breath—in vain. There really is no reason. You cannot explain it away and it feels soul crushing.

And you wonder—did I really think I had this anxiety beat? Did it really ever go away? And, more importantly—how long will I feel this way, this hard to breathe, heavy chest and the dread of it all—Days? Weeks? Months? It starts getting rather bleak pretty quickly. De-spirited, you want to flee. This is the antithesis of your good news. And you feel guilty—what have I done to deserve this? And you feel ashamed—I still have it, it is still part of me. I cannot shake it.

And when you remember to, you breathe slowly and remind yourself that you do not really have to let it. That it will not crush you. That there really is this amazing life force within you that sometimes misfires and lets you know that you really are—fully alive. And, that even with no explanation it will pass. All in due time… all with little to no interference from you. And then you slowly let go of the elephant and remember to get back to your life. You still feel it sitting on your chest and you just move with it. It may be here for a while, it may come back, but you are not going to wait around for it. You have so many things that you need and want do—elephant or no elephant! And then you do.

What Is the Difference Between Social Anxiety and Shyness?

Helen Odessky — Fri, 17 Jul 2015 19:40:44 +0000

I frequently get asked about the difference between Social Anxiety and shyness.

Shyness is the experience of discomfort or awkwardness in social situations, particularly new social situations. It can be accompanied by reticence to engage in small talk, or to be the first to approach someone new socially. Shyness is a personality trait that at times may accompany social anxiety, but not all people with Social Anxiety are shy. Shyness is not painful and is at times something that a person is proud of, particularly f their culture prizes it. Social anxiety, on the other hand, can be experienced by people who otherwise enjoy being the center of attention, but are not able to due to Social Anxiety.

Social Anxiety feels painful and causes the person to feel, embarrassment, shame, and judgment in social or performance situations. Social Anxiety can also lead to depression because it can cause a person to feel doubtful about their social abilities, and to focus on their insecurities. In contrast, someone who is shy does not necessarily focus on their shyness as a liability or a sign that they are lacking social skills.

If your “shyness” feels painful, you may be struggling with social anxiety. Unlike shyness, which most people experience occasionally, social anxiety starts to interfere with your life. It can lead you to cancel social events, or to avoid social interactions altogether. Shyness does not keep someone from avoiding activities that they like. By contrast, Social Anxiety will keep you from engaging even in activities that you enjoy or find pleasurable.

If you are struggling with Social Anxiety, please know that you are not alone and treatment for Social Anxiety is available. If you are in the Chicago area, please give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847) 529-8600 to see if she can help.

Does Caffeine Cause Anxiety?

Helen Odessky — Wed, 01 Jul 2015 20:17:08 +0000

“Does caffeine cause anxiety?” –I get this question a lot as an anxiety therapist. Often it is a pleading look, asking: “Do you think if I just gave up coffee, my troubles with anxiety will be over?” At other time, it is a pleading voice “Please don’t tell me to give it up-I Love my coffee!” Before you quit having your daily fix, please read this article. The answer is nuanced and I will explain my thoughts on this complex subject.

Caffeine is a stimulant and is considered safe in moderation. It is commonly found in chocolate, coffee, teas, colas and energy drinks. A daily dose below 300 milligrams per day (roughly this translates to 3 — 6 ounce cups of brewed coffee) is generally considered safe. Some coffeehouse coffee is brewed to be much stronger—for example a tall Starbucks coffee has about 300 milligrams of caffeine, so buyer beware.

Other than dosage, you also want to consider your personal response to caffeine. Some people are caffeine sensitive and respond negatively even to to very small doses. What this means is that you can monitor your own subjective feelings on days that you consume caffeinated foods and beverages. If you experience negative symptoms, such as strong heart palpitations, irritability, a heightened sense of anxiety or sleep disruptions—it is time to re-evaluate your caffeine intake.

While moderate caffeine consumption may not affect your overall anxiety levels, if you experience Panic Attacks, you may want to reconsider your caffeine intake. Caffeine intake may potentiate panic attacks, by stimulating the “fight or flight response.” This means that it can serve as a trigger to an already sensitive system. If you are currently struggling with Panic Attacks, chances are that caffeine is doing more harm than good. I suggest that you work at gradually reducing your caffeine intake as you work to eliminate it. It is important that you use the gradual approach, as stopping caffeine intake abruptly can cause rebound anxiety.

If you are in the Chicago area and need help with anxiety, please give Dr. Helen Odessky a call at (847)529-8600 to see if she can help.