Yours Lovingly

Fake Love MV Review

2023-12-28T15:41:00.004+05:30

I was wondering why this MV has a special place in my heart. It might be just an assumption, but each of them represented different emotions humans feel when their heart ache. It's so beautifully choreographed and they expressed the emotions through their expressions and voices too.

Namjoon - Confusion

Seokjin - Despair

Yoongi - Disappointment

Hoseok - Pain and fear

Jimin - Agony

Taehyung - Emptiness

Jungkook - Anger/ Rage

It is so fascinating how they design their set and props, leaving the audience to wonder about the theme, concept and story. Yep. That's what it is. It's not just a song. It's a story. It's our story.

Blue and Grey --- Lyrics

2021-03-27T00:40:00.002+05:30

Song Title: - Blue and Grey

Album: - B.E. (20 November 2020)

Where is my angel
Haruui kkeuteul deuriun
Someone come and save me, please
Jichin haruui hansumppun
Saramdeureun da haengbokanga bwa
Can you look at me? 'Cause I am blue and grey
Geoure bichin nunmurui uimineun
Useume gamchwojin naui saekkkal blue and grey

Eodiseobuteo jalmotdwaenneunji jal moreugesseo
Na eoryeoseobuteo meoritsogen paransaek mureumpyo
Eojjeom geuraeseo chiyeolhage saranneunji moreuji
But dwireul doraboni yeogi udukeoni seoni
Nareul jibeosamkyeobeorineun jeo seoseul peoreon geurimja
Yeojeonhido paransaek mureumpyoneun
Gwayeon buraninji uurinji
Eojjeom jeongmal huhoeui dongmurinji
Animyeoneun oeroumi naeun nailji
Yeojeonhi moreugesseo seoseul peoreon beullu
Jamsikdoeji ankil barae chajeul geoya chulgu

I just wanna be happier
Chagaun nal nongnyeojwo
Sueopsi naemin naui son
Saekkkal eomneun meari
Oh this ground feels so heavier
I am singing by myself
I just wanna be happier
Igeotdo keun yoksimilkka

Chuun gyeoul georireul georeul ttae neukkin
Ppallajin simjangui hoheup soril
Jigeumdo neukkigon hae
Gwaenchantago haji ma
Gwaenchanchi aneunikka
Jebal honja duji mara jwo neomu apa

Neul geonneun gilgwa neul banneun bit
But oneureun waenji natseon scene
Mudyeojin geolkka muneojin geolkka
Geunde mugeopgin hada i soetdeongin
Dagaoneun hoesaek koppulso
Chojeom eopsi nan deonggeureoni seoisseo
Nadapji ana i sungan
Geunyang museopjiga ana
Nan hwaksiniran sin ttawi an mideo
Saekchae gateun mareun ganjireowo
Neolbeun hoesaekjidaega pyeonhae
Yeogi sueok gaji pyojeongui grey
Biga omyeon nae sesang
I dosi wiro chumchunda
Malgeun naren angaereul
Jeojeun naren hamkke neul
Yeogi modeun meonjideul
Wihae chukbaereul

I just wanna be happier
Nae sonui ongil neukkyeojwo
Ttatteuthajiga anaseo nega deouk pillyohae
Oh this ground feels so heavier
I am singing by myself
Meon hunnal naega utge doemyeon
Malhalge geuraesseotdago

Heogonge tteodoneun mareul mollae juwo damgo nani

Ije saebyeokjami deune good night

English Translation

Where is my angel
The end of the day
Someone come and save me, please
A weary sigh of a tiring day
I guess everyone's happy
Can you look at me? 'Cause I am blue and grey
The meaning of the tears reflected in the mirror
My color hidden with a smile, blue and grey

I don't know where it went wrong
Ever since I was a kid, I've had a blue question mark in my head
Maybe that's why I've been living so fiercely
But when I look back, I'm all by myself
That hazy shadow that swallows me up
Still, the blue question mark, is it anxiety or depression?
How am I so regretful?
Or maybe it's me that loneliness gave birth to
I still don't know, dark blue
I hope it doesn't erode me, I'll find an exit

I just wanna be happier
To melt the cold me
My hands have reached out countless times
Colorless echo
Oh, this ground feels so heavier
I am singing by myself I just wanna be happier
Am I too greedy?

I felt when I walked on the cold winter streets
The sound of my fast heartbeat breathing
I still feel it
Don't say it's okay
'Cause it's not okay
Please don't leave me alone, it hurts too much

The way I usually walk and the light I always receive
But today it's a strange scene
Is it dull or is it broken?
But it's heavy, this lump of metal
Approaching gray rhino
I'm just standing there without focus
It's not like me at this moment
I'm just not scared
I don't believe in the God of confidence
Colorful words tickle
A large gray area is convenient
Gray with hundreds of millions of facial expressions here
When it rains, my world
Dancing over this city
It's foggy on a clear day
Always together on rainy days
Toast to all the dust here

I just wanna be happier
Feel the warmth of my hands
It's not warm, so I need you more
Oh, this ground feels so heavier
I am singing by myself
In the distant future, when I laugh
I'll tell you I did

After secretly picking up the words in the air
Now I fall asleep in the morning, good night

Life Goes On --- Lyrics

2021-03-27T00:23:00.006+05:30

Song Title: - Life Goes On

Album: - B.E. (20 November 2020)

Eoneu nal sesangi meomchwosseo
Amureon yegodo hana eopsi
Bomeun gidarimeul mollaseo
Nunchi eopsi wabeoryeosseo
Baljagugi jiwojin geori
Yeogi neomeojyeoinneun na
Honja gane sigani
Mianhae maldo eopsi

Oneuldo biga naeril geot gata
Heumppeok jeojeobeoryeonne
Ajikdo meomchujil ana
Jeo meokgureumboda ppalli dallyeoga
Geureom doel jul aranneunde
Na gyeou saraminga bwa
Mopsi apeune
Sesangiran nomi jun gamgi
Deokbune nulleoboneun meonji ssain doegamgi
Neomeojin chae cheonghaneun eotbakjaui chum
Gyeouri omyeon naeswija
Deo tteugeoun sum

Kkeuchi boiji ana
Chulguga itgin halkka
Bari ttejijil ana ana oh
Jamsi du nuneul gama
Yeogi nae soneul jaba
Jeo miraero daranaja

Like an echo in the forest
Haruga doraogetji
Amu ildo eopdan deusi
Yeah, life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Tto haru deo naragaji
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah, life goes on
Like this again

I eumageul billyeo neoege na jeonhalge
Saramdeureun malhae sesangi da byeonhaetdae
Dahaenghido uri saineun
Ajik yeotae an byeonhaenne

Neul hadeon sijakgwa kkeut ‘annyeong’iran mallo
Oneulgwa naeireul tto hamkke ieobojago
Meomchwoitjiman eodume sumji ma
Bicheun tto tteooreunikkan

Kkeuchi boiji ana
Chulguga itgin halkka
Bari ttejijil ana ana oh
Jamsi du nuneul gama
Yeogi nae soneul jaba (jaba)
Jeo miraero daranaja (Oh, oh, oh)

Like an echo in the forest
Haruga doraogetji
Amu ildo eopdan deusi
Yeah, life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Tto haru deo naragaji
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah, life goes on
Like this again

I remember, ah-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I remember, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
I remember, ah-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I remember, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah

English Translation

One day the world stopped
Without warning
Spring didn't know to wait
Showed up not even a minute late
Streets erased of footprints
I lie here, fallen to the ground
Time goes by on its own
Without a single apology

It looks like rain again today
I'm soaked to the bone
Still won't stop
Running faster than that cloud of rain
Thought that'd be enough
Guess I'm only human after all
I'm in a world of pain
This cold the world gave to me
Prompts me to press the dust-covered rewind
Dancing off-beat lying on the ground
Once winter comes, let's exhale a warmer breath

There's no end in sight
Is there a way out?
My feet refuse to move, oh
Close your eyes for a moment
Hold my hand
To the future, let's run away

Like an echo in the forest
The day will come back around
As if nothing happened
Yeah life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Another day flying by
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah life goes on
Like this again

Let me tell you with this song
People say the world has changed
But thankfully between you and me
Nothing has changed

With the "annyeong" that we start and finish the day
Let us thread tomorrow with today
Stopped for now but don't hide in the shadow
Once again daylight will glow

There's no end in sight
Is there a way out?
My feet refuse to move, oh
Close your eyes for a moment
Hold my hand
To the future, let's run away (Oh, oh, oh)

Like an echo in the forest
The day will come back around
As if nothing happened
Yeah life goes on
Like an arrow in the blue sky
Another day flying by
On my pillow, on my table
Yeah life goes on
Like this again

I remember, ah-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I remember, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah
I remember, ah-yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I remember, ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah

Love BTS

2021-03-27T00:00:00.001+05:30

BTS, also known as Bangtan Sonyeondan meaning Bulletproof Boy Scouts, is the biggest k-pop boy band liked millions of people all across the world. The seven members are loved for their magical voices and adorable personalities. They debuted on 13th June, 2013 under Bit Hit Entertainment(now known as Hybe) and never they stopped in creating sensation with their music. Their fans call themselves "Adorable Representative M.C. for Youth" which is abbreviated as A.R.M.Y. The seven boys are the pride of South Korea playing a crucial role in the said country's economy. They are known for their theme they choose for their songs. It connects the A.R.M.Y. emotionally to them without language barriers.

BTS in MV Euphoria

Addiction: I take over you...

2020-11-08T22:41:00.001+05:30

Hola fam! We hope you are having a good time even in your hectic online class schedule. Team “Yours Lovingly” is here with a new article, which we believe is a contemporary issue. Happy reading.

Disclaimer: This article is not to offend anyone’s feelings or opinions. All the characters are entirely fictional. We apologize beforehand for any trouble :).

We procrastinated a lot when a friend suggested us to write an article about addiction. We know quite a lot of the population is addicted/obsessed to/with something. We read a lot of articles related to drug addiction, alcohol addiction, smoking and many other things. But we read something about ‘porn’ on some website. With all the technical advancements we have and a new discovery everyday, everyone knows everything. Everything is just a click away. We have been using mobiles, laptops for long now and as we usually believe, darkness attracts people more than light does. Bad things attract more than good things does. Of course, good and bad is a perception again. Because our lives have been complicated since the invention of mobile phones. So, people are driven by their hormones and end up in a random porn site. The number of viewers watching porn has been substantially increased in number in the past few years. The reasons being easy availability of internet, more and more makers of porn and self-made videos! Most of us, the teenagers are curious about this 18+ content and start watching it at 15? This is wrong. Teens are easily distracted and they are misled by these so-called videos. They believe in what they see. And we all know what they see is not the truth. So, we came up with an imaginary interview between a psychiatrist and a reporter to stress upon the point ‘porn addiction’.

(setting: psychiatrist Dr. Saanvi Davis’s house)

Reporter --- Ms. Levinika

Levinika: Hello viewers. I am here today to interview the founder of ‘RARE’ rehabilitation center. Let’s get on with the interview now. (after a pause) Hello doctor. I am Levinika from ABCD channel. Glad to meet you.

Saanvi: Hi Levinika. I am Dr. Saanvi Davis, a psychiatrist. Glad to meet you too.

Levinika: Saanvi Davis?

Saanvi: Oh! (smile). I married a foreigner.

Levinika: (politely smiles back) That explains your name. Why did you choose to establish a rehab center in India?

Saanvi: Because I love this place and I am passionate about my work. I have seen many kinds of patients with different mental health related problems in my career. 30% of the cases were of those people who were addicted to something and lost control over their lives. I wanted to help those patients through a rehabilitation center.

Levinika: What kind of cases do they deal in the rehab center? Is it only particular for a certain segment of the population?

Saanvi: We deal all kinds of cases here. Be it a drug addict, alcoholic, tobacco addict, or a behavioral addict, we treat different type of addictions following different methods. Also, we treat those people who are suffering from serious illnesses and motivate them for a good recovery.

Levinika: What do you think about addiction doc?

Saanvi: That’s a tricky question. Addiction, to put it in simple words, it is the extreme obsession with something.

Levinika: Do you mean, obsession and addiction are the same?

Saanvi: No. Obsession is about repetitive thoughts about something which we can’t let go of. But you can find a way out of it. But when we talk about addiction, it is not healthy, for your body and for your mind too. It feels like you can’t stay away from that particular thing and if you do, it may lead to depression. It feels like you have no other world than that, say drinking. You will start to believe that there’s no other purpose for your life than drinking. You will ignore your friends, family. I have seen three typical cases of porn addiction when I was working in foreign countries which are different from the others. I saw them struggling and depressed.

Levinika: Depressed? Porn addicts? It’s really rare to see such cases. People doesn’t treat it as an addiction unless there are severe consequences. Would you mind sharing their stories with us?

Saanvi: Mm, I like your passion for your work. I would definitely share it with you. It would also help spreading awareness.

Levinika: Thanks doc. So, what about the cases that you talked about?

Saanvi: The key problem here is porn is available to anyone and everyone. Most of the cases were related to watching porn online. Many studies have been conducted on online pornography use. 25% of search engine requests are related to sex. 35% of downloads from the internet are pornographic. 40 million Americans say they regularly visit porn sites. 70% of men aged 18 to 24 visit a porn site at least once per month. The largest consumer group of online porn is men between the ages of 35 and 49. One-third of all internet porn users are women. Children are also exposed to these sites and no one can stop them from viewing because parents have become busy earning money. Pornography addiction frequently co-occurs with other mental health disorders. Some issues relating to social anxiety and loneliness can give rise to porn addiction, while others may stem from the addiction itself. Conditions that frequently co-occur with pornography addiction include depression, anxiety, social anxiety, mood disorders, sex addiction, memory problems etc.

A girl’s parents brought her to me to treat her lack of focus on studies. They tried every means possible to help her but it was in vain. She had anxiety related problems and was depressed all the time.

Levinika: Teenagers these days are easily depressed.

Saanvi: Yes, they have become fragile. They have unstable minds. I asked the girl’s parents to leave her to me. I asked her a few general questions and she answered naturally. Then I asked her what her favorite subject was. Her answer shocked me. She said that she didn’t know what subjects were taught at school. She was 16 when I handled this case. I asked her if she has any friends at school. She kept quiet and didn’t answer me for a while. But after sometime, she started speaking. ‘I am the typical shy type girl who cannot make many friends. I was terribly insulted in the class when I couldn’t answer a question. This made me feel disappointed with myself and I isolated myself from others more than before. I was 14 then. I had a mobile phone which was meant to help me in studying. But I started watching movies and web series which are of no use to me. I wasted my time on social media whole day. One day, I came across a link in a website where I download movies. I opened it to see what’s in there. It was a porn site. I got scared when people in the video were…’ she stopped and continued ‘Then I watched the next one and the next one. And I ended up watching it for 4 hours. I felt it was wrong. But then I watched it again the next day, the following days. I couldn’t stop myself from watching it. After a long time, I started comparing my body to others. I felt even more depressed. And went incognito mode again. This happened for two years. I started failing in subjects. I never was focused in the class. I became rude and always having dirty thoughts in my mind. One day my mom caught me watching those videos and they asked me about what was happening. They confiscated my mobile phone and grounded me for months for not studying well at school. With no social interaction, I became weak. I ate lesser and lesser, and couldn’t sleep well because of poor mental stability. Every time I watch it, I felt guilty as if I was doing something wrong…’ she stopped there and didn’t talk again. I counseled her and I assume she’s doing well now.

Levinika: What do you think doc? Is watching porn good or bad? What’s your view? There are people who say it’s good and teaches us ‘sex education!’?

Saanvi: We cannot really say if it’s good or bad. We can’t blame the makers for making our children get addicted and do wrong things. The makers make the video to earn money and get a few bucks or I should say a lot of bucks. And the viewers watch it for pleasure!? I don’t know. Speaking of ‘sex education’, India do lack it. But learning that from porn is a bad idea. Porn is abusive. You can never really learn the purpose of sex from porn. It’s just an excuse from those who are addicted. I have heard a boy saying that to me.

Levinika: A boy?

Saanvi: Yes, the second case. This time, the parents dragged him into my room and locked it from outside. I freaked out for a second and calmed myself down seeing that the boy was unwilling to take the counselling. I asked him the same general questions that I asked the girl. His tone was rather arrogant for his age. He was just fifteen. ‘So, what’s the problem?’ I asked him. ‘I have no problem. The problem is theirs. They think that I am in trouble.’

‘May I ask why do they think that you are in trouble?’

‘They think watching porn is wrong. That’s why they think I am in trouble.’

‘Don’t you think it’s wrong. Especially at your age?’

‘You are doctor, right?’

‘Then you would have studied biology?’

‘Yes. I did.’

‘Then it’s natural right? People having sex?’ I was astonished by his question.

‘Mm…Hmm…’

‘So, what’s wrong with watching porn?’

‘Well, you have got a terrible logic there.’

‘Why do you think so?’

‘Let me ask you a few questions. What do you do in your free time?’

‘Watch porn’

‘Before you started watching it’

‘Football’

‘Are you good at playing football?’

‘I am a pro.’ He smiled arrogantly.

‘Well, can you play a match now and win it?’ He remained silent to this question.

‘Okay. Let me ask you another question. What are your grades before and after?’

‘They were average for a while and I failed two subjects recently.’

‘Your parents think that your grades have something to do with you watching porn. Is that true? What do you think?’

‘They just couldn’t find a better excuse.’

‘Okay. Do you have a girl friend?’

‘No. No one could meet my standards.’

‘What do you mean by standards? Do you think girls in real life are the same as those of in porn?’

‘Aren’t they? They just feel the same as men do. But they don’t express right?’

‘And how exactly do you know that? Can you read their minds?’ he remained silent again.

‘When did you start watching it?’

‘When I was 14, my friends were watching too.’ Jeez, what kind of friends do this kid have?

‘Mm… Let me put it like, peer pressure?’

‘At first, yes. But now I don’t really regret it.’

‘You got addicted to porn at such a young age and your parents are worried about you. Do you ever know that your father is just a clerk in a bank? Look at your clothes. All branded. And look at your father’s clothes. All worn out. I can say that he is working hard for you! (after a brief pause) Okay. Let’s skip this. You were average in your studies. But they never brought you here because you studied less right?’

‘Yes.’ He said hesitantly.

‘Your parents work hard for you. They never blamed you for not studying well because they knew that football is your passion. And they let you play. They have always looked out for you. And then you started watching porn? Then you ignored your studies and your passion’ dead silence followed my statements.

‘Coming back to your question. People having sex is normal. We have billions of human beings on earth. At least, tens of thousands of them must be doing it in every given day. Even animals have sex. But it has only one purpose according to biology. For reproduction. Whereas people video recording their sexual activities is abnormal. And watching it at a young age is even more abnormal. I hate to say that you do think logically. I think you are the captain of the team?’

‘Yes’

‘I assume you make great strategies with your logical thinking. Why waste it on trivial arguments?’ he wanted to say something but stopped.

‘Look, your parents were concerned about you. Only you. Not your studies. Not football. They wanted you to have a good childhood. You are just fifteen. Have you ever realized it? You still have a long way to go’ I said. It took me two hours on this particular case. Later, I talked to his parents and now he must be studying well and often invites me to his football matches.

Levinika: That was unexpected.

Saanvi: Yes. People who are addicted often thinks that they are right. That case was easy because he was a kid. But there was this couple who came to me. That was a hard nut to crack. The couple got a divorce.

Levinika: A divorced couple? As in, they were on the verge of divorce before they came to you?

Saanvi: Yes. They have a son.

Levinika: Despite having a son, they asked for a divorce. What caused it?

Saanvi: Addiction again. I interviewed the husband and the wife separately. Surprisingly, the husband didn’t talk much. He had dark circles as if he had not slept for days. I had goosebumps when I talked to the wife. After collecting her details, I asked her ‘Why do you want to get a divorce?’

‘If you marry a man like him, you would definitely want to.’

‘What about him?’

‘You are a psychiatrist. You must have seen different types of patients. Also, different types of addicts. Right?’

‘Yeah. Definitely. That’s my job. Is he addicted to something, like alcohol? That’s the reason you want a divorce?’

‘No. He’s not addicted to alcohol. Even if he is, I can take him to a rehab. Why would I want a divorce for such reason?’ Looks like, the matter is not as simple as I thought.

‘Then what was your reason miss?’

‘We were just like any ordinary couple. We fell in love after our parents fixed our marriage. We got married in less than a month after we knew each other. But I didn’t realize what kind of a person he is until our wedding night…’ she paused.

‘What about that?’

‘He…, he asked me to wear a weird dress. Like that of a cat girl. It was too revealing but I agreed with him since we were the only people there in the room. I wore it and he looked at me disgusted? I think that’s how to describe it. He left me alone in that room and went back to his friends. Guess what he was doing that night? He was watching porn with his friends in our to-be-home. He was never satisfied with me. He despised the scar on my waist. He said I was ugly. He had never talked to me in a nice way. One day he got drunk and went home. On that day, he was a beast and he wanted me to do all kinds of things that they show in porn. I was hurt. He hurt my body. He hurt my soul. He raped me. But we are married. That’s the only obstacle that was stopping me to file a case on him. I talked to my parents and in-laws. They were the least concerned anyway. I was pregnant and he despised me even more because I can’t be his tool for sex for a long while. He wanted to secretly abort the child. I discovered it somehow and moved out for a while. I had this baby. I refused to have sex with him later one day. He tortured me the whole day with his cuss words and cursed me behind my back. He ruined my reputation. So, making the long story short, I filed the divorce.’

I was impressed by her strong character and personality. Rare to find these days! ‘I will help you get the divorce. And I will help you get the custody of your child.’ I promised her and I kept my promise.

Levinika: I can’t believe that there are such cases in our society.

Saanvi: Yes, there are. In 2013, Cosmopolitan magazine surveyed 68 top sex therapists in the United Kingdom. Of them, 86% felt that porn hurt their relationships and 90% had seen an increase in relationship troubles due to porn use. Most sex therapists also said that porn increases men’s expectations of sex with their partner, while porn has a negative effect on women’s sexual confidence. Other surveys back these numbers up. A study from 2012 found that men’s porn use can lower the self-esteem of their wives and girlfriends. Infrequent porn use does not negatively affect marriages or other romantic relationships. However, the more frequently men view porn, the more insecure and unhappy their female partners tend to become. About 56% of divorce proceedings cite an “obsessive interest” in pornographic websites. There’s even worse content online like child porn which is really sad in today’s society. This is why I recommend not to get addicted to porn. Not watching it at all is even better.

Levinika: Yes viewers. Do follow Dr. Saanvi Davis’ instructions. To watch this interview online, go to our YouTube channel ABCD news. If you want to contact the rehabilitation center, we provided the details in the scrolling on your screen. This is Levinika signing off. Meet you in the next video.

Editor: - Annem Ananya Sri

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Nationality: - Refugee

2020-10-25T03:12:00.004+05:30

Hola fam! Team 'Yours Lovingly' wishes a very happy "VIJAYA DASHAMI" to all of you. We wish you health, wealth and prosperity. As we said before, this is the 'big announcement day'. The blog was started when we recognized the value of appreciation. We wanted to find the right audience for our works. We thought of expanding the range of topics and entertain more people who likes to turn to books, poems and stories to relieve their stress. So, taking the big step today, we are going official from now on. We promise you all to provide the best content and we hope you support us in our journey. Happy Reading!

In September 2015, the whole world shook when a boy's corpse washed ashore from the Mediterranean Sea. He was at a very small age to even know what death means. The heart melting picture of the boy made the people open their hearts and talk about the sufferings of refugees. They lose everything; their houses, their belongings, their loved ones and even their lives. This article is written as a tribute to the refugees who are fighting for their survival in many corners of the world. Here's the story of a little boy who lost half of his family in Taliban attacks and left his country for his life as a refugee.

"At least 79.5 million people around the world have been forced to flee the homes. Among them are nearly 26 million refugees, around half of whom are under the age of 18.

There are millions of stateless people, who have been denied a nationality and lack access to basic rights such as education, health care, employment and freedom of movement."

Img and Info Src: - https://www.unhcr.org/figures-at-a-glance.html

On the autumn day of October 31, 2002, I turned 16. I never thought of my sixteenth birthday after celebrating my fifteenth one in Afghanistan. I never thought of spending any day of my life in an alien land, becoming an alien myself to those who live in that alien land.

I sat on a crooked chair, near the window of our single bedroom flat, watching out the smokes evolving from the two-way road filled with vehicles.

Slowly remembering the tales of my past, about how I spent early days of my life, how I whirled along with those village winds, how I played with Zara di, how I enjoyed the smell of kebabs Ammi made for all of us, how I hid myself in the rose bushes until angry Abba jaan cools down, how I fused myself with the heroes of the illusional stories sad by Dadi jaan, how I fought with Zara di for foreign goods baba bought for us, above all, I missed my home where I spent all the happy days of my life. Ahh! My beautiful home, it was designed with small domes and arches seems like medieval mahal of Mughals, made with makrana marble, surrounded by a small garden with palm, pomegranate trees rose shrubs. I bet that you can’t find a beautiful place than our house in the streets of Herat. Now, I miss all of them, all those winds will never flow again, all those roses will never blush red again, all those heroes gone dead, especially every moment I spent with my loved ones with whole hearted love, shatters my heart into pieces when I think of them…! Because they are DEAD! Sorry... Nope…! They were murdered; murdered by the cruelest things I had known – Taliban…!

A warm tear rolled down from the edge of my eye. Sometimes the dead things will come alive in the mysterious memories even if we bury them deep inside our hearts…! And that’s what we call it – “The past”.

Everyone had a past and when we compare with the present, the things in the past will be better for some, may be worse for other proportions of the population. And for us, the most helpless creatures – “Refugees”; the past is “brutal”, it brings back the grief, the torment, every time we recall it…! We neither bury it in the shades of dark nor we try to recollect it in the bright mornings…! Sometimes, it owns us, it consumes us in the most barbaric ways that one can think of, it makes us “numb” and “nostalgic”.

As today is my 16^th birthday, I don’t want to carry all that pain from my previous birthday here after…! It’s better to release all the grief isn’t it…? So, I am Alfez Ikram Khan , born in Herat, Afghanistan. I come from a Fauji family. My father Izaz Khan worked as Faujidhar under Dawood Khan after the demise of my grandfather Ibrahim Khan. My mother Sheema Sian Khan is the most beautiful women in my eyes and may be father’s eyes too. That’s the reason why he married her fighting with the entire crowd of our Uzbeks family and they both had their little princess Zara Khan as their first child and the craziest brut, me as their second and the last one…! Also, my sweetest dadi ma Afsana Khan lives with us too…!

We lived in the happiest world one can imagine until Afghanistan fell in the hands of Al-Qaeda. In the name of world peace, they destroyed our inner peace and happiness…! They made us homeless occupying our houses, buildings, belongings too… They made us question our existence. So many questions that hit my heart left unanswered. They made us feel dead by killing our beloved viciously…!

I was still sitting on the chair lamenting about what happened a year ago.

1 Year Ago,

It was a cloudy day. I was playing with Idris in the wheat field. Everything was good until we heard a 20000 hertz sound. We saw two grey bird like flying war planes in the blooming blue sky. We were too innocent to imagine what was going to happen. All we knew was that it was not something good. We ran as fast as we can, to reach our homes. We saw some people in their mid-20s holding guns and firing bullets on every living thing in their vicinity. Poor Idris! He got perplexed in that messy situation and ran towards those heartless men and got shot in his heart. I still remember that shade of red from the heart of my friend, whom I played with and spent all my childhood till then. There was no time left for me to process the situation and mourn for him. I kept running through streets, shut shops, houses, shrubs, waters and I tried my best to fill my lungs with air to save my life. I reached my two storeyed building, it was locked from inside. I started knocking the door. No one answered me. I was scared out of my wits. I shouted loud enough to echo in every room of our house and banged at the door with all my might. Abba jaan opened the door and lift me, a fifteen-year-old boy with his bare hands, took me in and closed the door. That happened in the blink of an eye. Zara di ran towards me and hugged me. Ammi and my dadi ma joined her, and we all cried our eyes out. None of us expected that we would be able to see each other again. I felt the warmth and love in their fear. After what happened a few minutes earlier, I was frightened with all those unexpected incidents. I cried like a baby hugging my Ammi for a long time. Abba left the room and walked upstairs. He looked away from the window. I wished that it would never happen again.

That night, Ammi baked some bread on Tandoor, and some Aloo Shorwa. We ate in dead silence. None of us slept that night. We slept in the same room that day except, my dadi ma chanting her prayers with a rosary in hand.

Finally, Abba jaan broke the silence, “They are so cruel. Killing people in the name of Allah. They are doing no good to people.”

“But why are they doing this in the name of Allah, Abba?” I asked.

"Alfez, humans are all good. But when we intend to do something bad, we search for names for it like religion, god, caste,hatred! Rubbish! We say that it is for our own good. But nothing good happens through that. We don’t think for others. Fulfilling our selfish reasons, feeding our darkest desires, we don’t want to stop that shit. Once we start doing something like that, we cover our mistakes in the name of love, goodness, peace! Allah is love; they are the ones with hatred.”

“But Quran says carry mercy and kindness in your heart for all people” I exclaimed innocently.

"Alfez, they are hardly humans to understand anything. They are misguided and they fulfill their cruel intentions anyway. They don’t care about what’s written in the holy books. Instead, they listen to their misleading ‘so-called’ leader. They kill everyone in the name of their idea of spirituality.”

“What can we do now Abba jaan?”

“Have faith in god son”

“Abba, can’t we flee?”

“This is your home Alfez. You were born here. Running away is for the cowards. I hope you are not one”

“But Abba jaan…”

“Sleep for now” Abba jaan ordered me and turned to the other side.

We were spending our lives in fear. After that day, everything changed. We were prohibited to gather outside, women and girls were not permitted outside without a male companion, all girls lost their right to education, no woman is pared if she talked with men in a louder voice, purdah was made mandatory to all women, no child played freely, no man made their evening pleasant after that, no woman was allowed to breath freely without the layers of black fabrics covering most of their faces, freedom, liberty, everything was in the hands of those who held guns. We were barely surviving each passing day.

We were happy until that very day. After a couple of weeks after that incident, spent uselessly, aimlessly, in the war of survival and life, Zara di looked from the window where she found beautiful red roses blossoming in the green shrubs. She got mesmerized with that beauty and she wanted them. She walked out unknowingly. She plucked one of those flowers with her mellow hands. She never knew at what cost she was going to have that rose. She never knew that those roses will soon be put on her grave. She never knew that behind those beautiful bushes, was a man about 6’2” height, in an olive-green colored uniform, holding a barrel gun in his hands. She didn’t wear purdah because the bushes were in the house premises. He grinned at her madly. She lost her grip and the rose fell off her hand. He grabbed her neck with his big palms of rough layered skin. She was trying to shout, she was trying to hold her breath, she was trying to free herself from his clutches, but she couldn’t. I looked out from my window and saw her struggling in the garden, but I didn’t know how to react to that. I was still recovering from what I saw last time, recovering from what happened to my friend. I couldn’t convince myself to go out and help her. I was too frightened. I was still that little boy who witnessed his friend’s death right in front of him. ‘I wanted to call Abba jaan. But what if they shoot him too? What if she dies before I go on a rescue mission? What if I do nothing?’ Too many questions left me puzzled. And before I could figure anything out, everything happened in a flash. She tried to see her family for one last time, her eyes welled up with tears, looked at her idiot brother from the glossy window. Her vision blurred; her breath become uneven. She was suffocating in his firm grip. She finally gave me a helpless look. She pointed her hand at me seeking for help, but she couldn’t understand why her brother was standing there motionless, more like a stone without any movement in him even after seeing his only sister in such a miserable situation. She lost her hope in the fight for her survival and I am one of the reasons for that. At last, she shed a tear from her right eye, the most painful moment I have ever experienced in my entire life. After fighting for a while, she gave up…! Her struggle went in vain and she’s no more…!!! And I, just like what I did when my friend died, did nothing even after her demise. She left her breath right in front of me, and I, good for nothing, just an additional useless existent being on the earth, didn’t even try to save her in her worst moment. She pleaded for help with her eyes. She asked me to do something with her sight…!

He laughed at the white pile of her body on the ground, kicked her with his leather shoe to test if she’s alive. He fulfilled his psychotic pleasure and left that place.

I stood there, looking at her corpse, turning pale. I didn’t dare to go out and lift her dead body and pay respects. I was afraid of the Taliban. I was ashamed of my existence.

After a while, Abba returned from his work. He never expected that one day, the first thing he would see after returning from work would be his dearest daughter’s cadaver. He ran to her, shook her once, twice, thrice, but poor didi didn’t move. He saw the red bruises around her neck…! Finally, Abba jaan broke that unbearable silence by yelling her name.

“Zara!!!?”

I rushed outside after hearing his scream. Ammi and dadi ma ran from the kitchen, leaving the bread in tandoors.

Abba lifted her body up and moved her into the house. Me, including Ammi, dadi ma were too confused to say anything. Even when I knew everything, I couldn’t let a tear out. Something was piercing my heart. I felt like someone placed a stone between my rib cage and slowly hitting it with hammer, raw pain flowing through my nerves. My guilty conscience made me suffer every second of my life thereafter.

“Zara, beti, what happened to you?” Abba screamed.

“Zara, why are you silent?” Ammi cried.

Dadi ma and I chose silence. But even dadi ma’s eyes were full of tears. I didn’t cry. Probably, I couldn’t.

“It must be the sin of those sons of b*****s… I will kill them today” Abba jaan’s eyes turned fire red and his face crimson with anger.

Without thinking a minute, he went out of the house with his licensed pistol. Ammi tried to stop him, but he waved her away. Dadi ma tried to stop him but he pushed her aside. I was such a coward that even in such a critical moment, I still chose silence. He angrily moved along the road and after that incident, I didn’t see him for a long time.

I didn’t know what happened exactly until that evening, until one of my uncles came home with a lifeless body of baba covered with blood everywhere, until my Ammi lost her husband, until my dadi lost her loving son, until I understood that I can’t talk again with Abba, until I knew that I can’t find Abba anymore, until we all knew that “Abba is dead…!!!”.

“Brave Izaz pointed the gun on the heart of that heartless Taliban. The next minute, couple of bullets penetrated through his body” Alam Kaka cried.

Ammi, dadi and everyone cried their heart out. On the other hand, I, his only son, his only child left, didn’t cry. No tears came out of my eyes. I stood there like a lifeless creature staring at nothing. The next day Mullah chanted prayers for the souls of Abba and Zara di to rest in peace. We lost them forever. The truth cannot be changed. I never expressed anything about their deaths. Everybody including Ammi thought that I might have too shocked after all those incidents. But they didn’t know what I did. If she knew it, she would hate me more than she hates the Taliban.

After some days, Alam kaka came to our house with his family to discuss something important to keep our going. Ammi offered him some mint tea to the guests in the house.

“The past has been painful with the demise of both Izaz and Zara. I know it’s not the time to say these things to you but, we had no option left with”.

Ammi wiped her tears as Alam kaka continued…

“Didi, we can’t live here for so long. This is no more the place that we had known in past. It became a war land. It became the place of dead and dying. This is not the place for us to live. We might die if we continue to be stubborn. Northern alliance has not arrived yet to save us and there is no guarantee that they would. Let us leave this place before it’s too late.”

After the demise of Abba, Ammi didn’t speak a word. She spoke after a long time to reply Alam kaka “But Bhai Jaan, where should we go leaving our house, belongings here? Your brother always loved this place more than his own life, how can we leave all his memories and run away from here?”

“Look, didi, I know what you are talking about, I can feel those things too. But nothing is worthy enough to take this risk of living here…”

“But…”

“Don’t think like that didi, don’t let the past hold you back. Don’t let your feelings and emotions take over your intelligence. Try to be practical. Alfez is growing up. He deserves a better future than this. Ammi is old. She must live in peace and you too Didi. You don’t have to live your rest of the life in that painful past”

“He is right Sheema. Nothing is more important than our lives. We must turn our eyes away from fire before it consumes us” dadi ma said.

“I will follow you all then. You both decide!” Ammi replied.

I and dadi nodded at Alam kaka.

“But where are we going Alam?” dadi ma asked.

“I know a friend in Delhi. We can move there”

“Delhi…, Is in?”

“India, Ammi”

“What? India? Why can’t we go to Pakistan? The land of Islam?”

“Ammi, Allah is everywhere. Pakistan is not safe either. Peshwar, Karachi, Lahore, maximal part of Pakistan is occupied by those Taliban. India is the nearest and safest place we are left with”

“How can we go there?”

“Ammi, we go there by flight from Herat to Delhi”

“What work do we do there? We have no livelihood.”

“Ammi, my friend already arranged everything for us. He owns a hotel in Hauzkhas, he was an Afghan too. He will provide us job there.”

“What if they find it out Alam?”

“They won’t find out Ammi. I had planned it all for us to reach safely to Delhi. You don’t worry. Just say OK! I will take care of the rest.”

“May Allah Bless you Alam”

Next morning, we all woke up early and packed our things. We left most of our belongings in our home except some pairs of clothes, our passports to reach Delhi, some valuables left in the locker for our future expenses in Delhi, and the most important thing, our family picture. I and Alam kaka along with our families, walked out of our house praying god to keep us safe.

We went to Masjid-I-Jami-I-Herat mosque and offered prayers. After morning prayer, we started our journey in Alam Kaka’s jeep. We can reach the airport by 6:15 and board the plane to Delhi before 7:00 and we can reach Delhi International Airport approximately after 4 hrs and 30 min.

We planned to tell that we are going to Mecca if anyone asks us. Everything was going well as per the plan. Alam kaka drove as fast as can, until we were stopped by a Taliban on the road side. He was tall, middle aged. He came and stood in the middle of the road to stop us. Alam kaka slowed down the vehicle and it finally stopped few inches away from that guy. He came near our jeep and examined everyone of us. He asked Alam kaka where we are going. Alam kaka said “We are going for Mecca”.

“Uh! Mecca?!”

“Ah! Mecca!” Alam kaka said.

His eyes stopped at my mom. He asked my mom to unveil her purdah. Alam kaka interrupted and said “She is not supposed to do so. Please let us go”.

He pointed a gun at Alam kak and said “She will”.

Ammi refused in protest. That guy penetrated the gun into kaka’s skin. Alam kaka’s wife got tensed and his daughters were crying. Ammi had no choice but to unveil her purdah. She did, revealing her long, fair face with clear jawline to the ugliest heart. He started ogling at Ammi in an unusual way. Ammi gave him a stern look. He asked Ammi to step out of the vehicle which Ammi refused in an instance. He threatened Ammi with the gun at Alam kaka’s head again. But this time, something really unexpected happened.

This inhumane deed of his enraged me. I clasped the gun in his hands and without thinking anymore, I pointed the gun at him.

Boom! He was on the floor motionless. No one came, because the sound of bullets was common in Afghanistan.

“Arey beta! Alfez! What have you done?” Alam kaka yelled.

“I served him what he deserved!” I said. It was as if I’m not the same person anymore. They say that people grow up in a particular moment of life. Some grow up when they are adults, some may grow up tomorrow, the next week, the next month, the next year, after 10 years and some people never grow up. I felt like I grew up in that moment.

Everyone in the vehicle turned silent and again we hit the road to the airport. I found that my heart felt light; probably it was relieved from all the guilt it was carrying till then. It’s hard to visualize the soft creature in you turning hard, when someone destroys the things it held dearest. That’s what had happened to me. I thought. We reached the airport. Chambers after chambers felt like, we were in some animated video game on which we have to cross sea, after that fire, after that thorns and snakes and finally reach the destination. Finally, our visas were verified. We, along with our luggage, went into the airbus. We sat on our respective seats. I got the seat beside the window and Ammi next to me.

“Dear passengers, we are going to take off. Please fasten your seatbelts.” A woman announced it in soft voice. For everyone, it was just an announcement. But for us, it felt like the announcement of victory and freedom, from Afghanistan. After a few minutes, we were no longer on the land of Afghanistan. I was literally immersed in my own thoughts of anxiety mixed with anger. Ammi placed her hand on mine and I titled my head on her in a sense of relief. After a long wait, we landed in a place which we had never seen before, a place which we never thought in our millions of previous thoughts to live in. We arrived in ‘India’.

Someone in his mid-thirties with a white-black checks scarf around his neck came to us and hugged Alam kaka.

“Assalamualaikum” said Alam kaka.

“Mualaikumsalam” said the man.

“He is Roshan, my friend. The kindest soul I have ever known. He offered help to us before I asked him for any help” said Alam kaka.

We all wished him in return. We went to his place, where we have to work for the rest of our lives to lead a life that we never imagined. It was a big hotel, with lights everywhere and fancy furniture, the smell of the delicious food fluffed my nostrils. He showed us the entire hotel and instructed our elders their respective works and he left. Although we were there to work, he treated all of us in a generous manner. He gave two rooms in the nearby apartment, one for Alam kaka’s family and the other for my own. Ours is a small one with a single bedroom, small kitchen and a hall only big enough for us to have a meal peacefully. Ventilation was not so good and a small window in the hall was seen. The two ladies, Ammi and dadi ma lived in the bedroom and I made the hall, my official residence. Ammi was designated to work in the hotel. Dadi ma devoted herself to do the basic house work and to take care of me. I had nothing to do and became the quietest person. We never talked most of the days and even if there was a conversation, it lasted no longer than a few phrases.

As days passed, Ammi and dadi ma got blended with the present. But I still couldn’t absorb the things happening around me. This was my past which shaped my future in the worst way possible.

“You are not supposed to ruin your future Alfez” said dadi ma.

“Uh!!?”

“You know what had happened was not a good thing. But good and evil are parts of our lives. You can’t be stuck in the so-called past forever. It’s not right Alfez”

“Ah!”

“You have a good future ahead. Go on with your studies. We will search for a good school here, in Delhi. Be a good son to your Ammi.”

“Ji dadi ma!” I said.

That day, dadi ma told the whole thing to Ammi and Alam kaka and asked them to join me in a good school. The next day we went to the nearby school.

“We want our child to get his education in your school” said Alam kaka to the principal of Saint Thomas school.

“Sure. We are here to educate your children. Here is the form of admission. Fill and give it to me” said the principal.

“Khuda Hafiz” said Alam kaka and handed me over that form. It was an A4 sized paper, with printed lines of blanks. It went like this….

Name: - Alfez Ikram Khan

Age: - 16 years

Father’s name: - Izaz Khan

Mother’s name: - Sheema Sian Khan

Religion: - Islam

Nationality: -

My hand stopped moving further. Nationality.!? I am neither Afghan anymore, nor Indian yet. I felt too sheepish to fill it as ‘Indian’. No government made a clear provision in its constitution for aliens calling themselves as its citizens. Most of the acts formed for a cause, left an impact on the immigrants from neighborhood. I no longer belong to Afghanistan. And I need an Identification Proof to call myself an Indian. I handed over the form to the principal. He read out all fields and lifted his head up ad said.

“Nationality?”

“Refugee…!” I stood and left the office.

--- Written by Sreedevi Thappita

Editor: - Annem Ananya Sri

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The light which lead me to darkness...

2020-10-19T12:55:00.001+05:30

Hola fam! We hope you enjoyed your weekend and ready for a challenging week ahead. Team "Yours Lovingly" wishes you all a very Happy Navratri. We wish you all good health. Stay home. Stay safe. We have a special announcement to make on 25-10-2020. Yes, ON VIJAYA DASHAMI. We hope you are as excited as we are for the announcement. Happy Reading!!!

He was quiet. He started to realize that he was wrong about it. About how he thought that she was his light. He sighed. The moments they spent together, the laughter, the smiles, the memories; everything started to fade as if nothing ever happened. A storm rising inside his head didn't let him sleep. He closed his eyes. Involuntarily, all his thoughts were about her. He didn't complain. He didn't resist. He waited, waited and waited until her thoughts shattered his heart into a bazillion pieces all over again. He sat up his bed and took his journal. He started to write. His feelings, his emotions, his unstable and weak heart, his tears were all poured into his poetry.

It resembles a star

But keeps you far to experience its radiance

It was a rainy night

So I didn't find her light

Clouds are it's friends

It didn't know they change colors

I was soaked waiting for light

She came as thunder from right

Besides quietly unfolding storms

hit heart till it's shattered to

her force,

Where my curtains raised to closet

breaking glass of memories

I can't help but plunge

In the abyss of

Soft broken glasses

As if my heart beats only for the rhythm of her thunders

Wait! Can't you feel the pain?

It's your glass that was broken

heat up and form up gentleman

-Naveen Vanguri

Radhe Krishna

2020-10-11T00:30:00.001+05:30

Hola fam. Team "Yours Lovingly" is here with a special post for all those who love to read telugu literature and novels.

The epic love story of Radha and Krishna is still very inspiring to the people. We all love this Gopi and Gopika's story since childhood. They taught us that love should be sacrificing and selfless. Here's a small story when Krishna shrieked of pain on his forehead and asked the other Gopikas to step on his forehead to get a relief. But they all hesitated and told him that he is a god and it would be a sin to do what he said. Then Radha appeared and Krishna told her the same as the other girls. She didn't hesitate for a second. She did what he said. When the other girls asked her if she's not afraid of going to hell for her actions and suffering. She replied, ‘My love was in pain and that’s all matters for me. I am ready to face the never-ending pain in the hell if it gives him relief for even a second’. Lord Krishna smiled back at the Gopis and said, ‘She is the true love of my life!’

So, as a tribute to their ever lasting love, we came up with this post. Enjoy reading and we welcome your opinions.

వాస్తవంలోనూ కవ్వించే మనోహర స్వప్నానివా

కలలోనూ బాధించే మధుర, క్రూర వాస్తవానివా

మైమరపించే సుందర రూపనివా

మదిని నొప్పించే తియ్యని తాపానివా

నీవుంటే వెయ్యి హరివిల్లుల మయం ఈ లోకం

నీవు లేని ఉదయమూ అంధకారమయమే, వినుమా నా శోకం

ప్రతినిత్యము నీ తలుపులే, అనుక్షణం నీ ధ్యానమే

మోయలేనంది నా హృదయం, తాళలేని ఈ విరహం

నీ కొఱకు పడుతున్న తపనయే నను బ్రతికించు ఆధారం

నా ఈ కన్నీరవుతోంది విరహ దాహాన్ని తీర్చు జలం

ఓపలేని ఈ బాధతో, తీరని తృష్ణతో, నిన్ను కాన వచ్చాను

నా తనువును, మనసును సమర్పణమనిపించాను ,

కానవా మాధవా, కానరావా మదనమోహనా

నను నీ రాధగా మలుచుకో రాధేశా

ద్వేషమే లేని నీ గుండెలో నను నిలుపుకోనుమా అవ్యుక్తా

నీ ప్రేమ దేశపు యువరాణిగా, నీ పట్టమహిషిగా

మురారి, నీ మురళిలో పాటగా, నీ అల్లరిలో చిలిపితనముగా దాగిపోనా

నీ సంతోషసమయంలో నీ చిరునవ్వుగా,

నీ శోకంలో కన్నీరుగా నేను నీ తోడు రానా ,

నిన్ను తలచినపుడు నా చెవుల్లో స్పష్టంగా ధ్వనించు నా ఈ గుండె చప్పుడు

నీ హృదయ స్పందనతో కలసిపోవు మార్గమే చూపవా

పాపపు విరహాముని కొని, పుణ్య సుఖాలతో

నను ధన్యురాలిని చేయ రావా…

నీ కొఱకే నే వేచియున్న, నీవే నా ప్రాణమన్నా

దయ చూడవా కృష్ణా…

---Written by Kautilya Makaelson

Toxic love --- Poem by Naveen Vanguri

2020-10-07T23:25:00.027+05:30

Hola fam. What's so good about poems? We say, read one and experience it. This one, is something special because it's a new writer with a new expression.

A broken heart may not speak anything. But it hides loads of emotions and suffers alone. It's not because it doesn't want to share it's pain. It is because the one and only person who it trusted, cared for, loved, has turned her back on it. It is because, what once was forever, ended abruptly without a warning. It is because the person in it's memories will not be a part of its future anymore. It is because it gave her the love more than she deserved. It is because for the world, the broken heart is no more than another example of a failure.

"And you took the emptiness in my solitude when you walked away..."

Read the thoughts of a broken heart, about one toxic love story and tell us about your story(if you have one, of course!).

The soul is recovering

And the memories are ocean

Longer it swims

The more I swallow

A hope, a light that comes and goes

Demands an intimacy and leaves a question

Is it a blessing or a curse

The efforts, the feelings takes the cost of potion.

Killing is it's property

Trust is the sword

Regret is it's mark

The more you think the more you bleed

Breaking you is what it does

Your time and emotions are it's food

Stitch the wound stop the pain

Wait and think it's your heart that's bleeding

---Naveen vanguri

The one and only Gen-Z

2020-10-05T23:14:00.002+05:30

Hola fam. Team "Yours Lovingly" is here again with an interesting article for you all which is about this generation. Yes. Let's talk about something which we have been ignoring since long time.

Our generation is weird. We love attention and we want to be popular for nothing. We can do anything for a few likes and comments. We flood our Instagram posts with hashtags so that the post can be viewed at various places. As being special is the new normal in the society, a huge pressure on our heads is taking us down, dragging us into the pit of despair or depression --- if you name it. The new generation --- everyone knows everyone; yet no one knows the real faces of people around them --- putting on fake facades for likes, comments, shares, jobs, impressions and approvals. The world has been too comfortable to us and the people became more sensitive This generation doesn't know what patience is. Everything is on their fingertips. They believe in their mobiles more than they believe in people. This generation --- weird it is and became scarier as well. Not everyone is a realist but behaves like one. Not everyone is mature but posts a quotation on being mature.

We all like the heroes but we love the villains. We don't mind posting shit about us to get few fake compliments. We started understanding villains and deep down there's a villain in everyone's heart. I'm wondering what kind if a villain I am. There are very less heart to heart conversations and everyone is hiding their hearts behind their darkest selves; a beast that shouldn't be unleashed. Being a psycho isn't something abnormal today and we have become weak mentally. We all have our reasons, And reasoning with people is very tiring. The slightest discomfort in life and we think to end our lives. There's no importance to the life of a being anymore. This generation --- living in lies-- expressing their feelings with the quotations that someone else wrote for someone else --- couldn't accept the fact they are just a tiniest part of the bazillion of population of humans on this earth And the saddest part is that being kind to someone has become very rare. Everyone's a writer, anyone can be an engineer, an MBA graduate, anyone can be an artist with a few brush strokes, anyone can sing live on the karaoke app and can be a singer, anyone can learn anything on the internet. A fake replica is looking better than a real thing. No more hand crafts and everything can be replaced by a machine -- by a machine which does the work better than a human. There's no more uniqueness left for the arts, relationships, love, romance and anything related to emotions. Sometimes I wonder how many people in this generation can really experience the broken heart syndrome. No one wants reasons and explanations. They will listen what they want to. People want everything to be under their control without doing anything. They want to be rich without working hard. No one is really bothered about the necessity behind their existence in this very planet. No one wants to find it out either. At this point, being a part of this generation, I don't know if I'm feeling sorry for this generation or for myself. I sighed "Duh. Humans are no more unique". #not_unique_anymore

---My thoughts "Kautilya Mikaelson"

Life's never been good without you

2020-10-05T16:14:00.007+05:30

Hola fam, I am Ananya Sri Annem. This is my first time writing in a blog. I'm starting it with a poem I wrote long ago. We all have secret crushes which we keep to ourselves and admire that "someone special" secretly. This is a poem that I wrote imagining things that never happened😜. I hope you all enjoy reading it.

"You have to be in love to understand love. Once you understand true love, you will never fall in love again"

LIFE WITHOUT YOU... … …

The brightest sun of the day is fading into the dark

The rainbow's colors are becoming pale;

they are colorless

Even the smallest sound of my surrounding is disturbing me

Sometimes I can't hear anything happening

The huge crowd of people seemed vanishing to my eyes

Now I can notice only one face, one man, and one thing in everyone

And that's you and your smile

Every sad song nastily laughed at my tears

A romantic song left me in agony

and I am the topper of the depressed school of the world

The red roses blossoming

The birds tweeting

The rain drumming the roof

The downpour of negative comments on my attitude

never makes me smile now as they did before

The smile's fake

The original one is stolen by someone who had also snatched away my bloody heart

The super sensitive skin you admired now can't sense a burn on it

Blood dripping off the body

I didn't care

I held your arm tight while I watch a horror movie with you

But no horror in my life can scare me than this one does

The street lanes we walked hand-in-hand now are seeming empty without your presence

Your touch that made me go crazy lasted no longer

The hair that I played with

The cheeks that I pulled naughtily

The lips that I kissed passionately

were no longer mine

The awkward silence filling my vicinity is turning me mad

Hell is the best place than the earth, I thought....

Wiping away a tear,

Yours loving Amara.