Marathon Youth Ministry

Best People Best Places

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 12:17:00 +0000

Today kicks off our high school program Uprising, I'm real excited to see the students again and meet some new faces. It's also a chance for me to see some of the ministers that I've missed during this summer season. It's also a chance for some new ministers to get their hands dirty, to get involved and see what this is all about. I'm excited for them but nervous which is normal considering I don't really know how all our first time ministers will serve. I had a good conversation the other day with a youth minister about their hiring process for adult volunteers. We decided that even though no system is perfect there needs to be a few steps that a youth worker can take to make sure they are successful in placing the best adults in the best places. Here is what I suggest:

Step 1: Meet With Who You Recruit.  Now, it might be hard with the million different things you have on your plate, but it's important to have some sort of interview process. When you meet with someone you can pick up on body language, you put a face to the name and you give yourself the opportunity to get more comfortable with the volunteer. If you can't meet face to face, the phone is fine (in my opinion) but I would try having a trusted ministry leader or a fellow staffer conduct in case you can't.

Step 2: Background Check.  The denomination I work for requires it and has a system for this, but if your church doesn't have this established, you should look into it. Our background check allows us to check references and see if the volunteer has ever been involved in illegal activity.

Step 3: First Serve.  This can actually be done before Step 2. A First Serve gives the volunteer an opportunity to try out the ministry before fully committing. It's easy to assume that because they said they wanted to get involved that they would be all committed; however, if they've never seen your ministry they won't know what to expect. They may not like it, may feel uncomfortable or realize that they don't really like teens.

Step 4: Buddy Them Up and Train Them. Give them an experienced volunteer minister to serve alongside. They may have served in a student ministry in a different church; however, new church, new systems and new culture. Give them someone to shadow or team up with that can answer questions when you aren't around. Give them someone who knows names and how to learn them. Give them someone they can lean on.

Step 5: Follow Up.  One thing we do is have a 3 month review. We just started doing this last year, but it's important to review the new volunteer ministers. But we don't just take the time to analyze them, we allow them to analyze us. When they walk in, they have a fresh set of eyes; therefore, they can tell us what we're missing.

Hiring volunteer ministers shouldn't be complicated or overwhelming. When implementing the steps I'm not the best at doing it, I know it's something our Adult Ministry Coordinator would love for me to do better. Once we implement a system and stay to it we can hopefully avoid situations where we are letting go of ministers months, weeks, or even days after they serve.

I know that there are more or different steps to recruiting ministers I would be more than interested to hear other people's thoughts.

Holiday? But School Just Started

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 12:17:00 +0000

It seems like every week of the fall there is a day off from school for our public school students. At first I thought Rosh Hashanah was this Friday so I got excited not because of the new year, but because it means schools are closed. With Friday off, it means students were less likely to worry about homework on Thursday night and could attend our high school program kickoff. But after further examination I realized it was Thursday, which is still okay. With the schools closed it means students (who do not practice the Jewish New Year) are just hanging around, which means perfect opportunity to hang out and minister to them.
I need to get better at tracking holidays and days off for the students. I find myself realizing the day of or the day after that there was no school and that students were at home, watching television or playing video games. Days off are a blessing for full time youth ministers because it gives it can be a bonus day to minister to them without interfering with after school activities and homework.
So this Thursday I plan on grabbing a little lunch, maybe coffee with the students, just to check-in and see how there first two weeks of school have been thus far. I would encourage other youth workers to take some time to look at your local schools calendar to determine days off (holidays, professional days, exam days, etc.) where you can connect with a few students here or there outside the regular atmosphere. How do you plan on spending your student's day off?

Back To Work Again

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 12:30:00 +0000

I'm feeling rested after my little vacation. I would have liked to have taken 2 weeks off but with the fall kickoff this Thursday it was a little hard to make that happen. Nonetheless, I feel pretty good walking into the office today, but then again I know I have to check email, listen to phone messages and tackle the world...well that's what it feels like. Honestly, walking back into the office is a little intimidating after taking some time off. Even if it doesn't really happen we imagine paperwork up the whazoo, phones ringing off the hook and meetings that will never end. So how do we take on the first day back?

Take a Breath - It's revisiting the unknown. Even if you have worked there for 40 years, it can feel as if you are walking into an entirely new world. Breathe, pray and ask God to guide you through.

Make a List - Start prioritizing what's your day. Even if you aren't sure what's number one right and what's number two, take the time to make a to-do list and start knocking it out. If you need to re-prioritize do not worry.

Messages and Emails Midday - Temptation is to check that blinking light right away. If you waited a few days or weeks to check those messages waiting until lunch won't kill you. An email or voice message can totally sideswipe you from getting in the groove, so leave it alone.

Don't Stay Too Late - You may have a lot of work on your table; however, don't burn yourself out your first day back. You may want to stay a little late, and you can but pick a time you will go home and stay to it.

I'm going to do my best to take my own advice, it's always a lot easier said then done. But I'm actually excited thinking about getting my fall started, getting to see the students again and motivating adults to serve God through student ministry. Unfortunately that can all get washed away if I'm not prepared for my first day back.

What Would You Do With No NFL?

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:48:00 +0000

I'm not sure how many football fans read this but by now you've heard the discussion of a lockout for the 2011 football season. I'm not the biggest football fan, if I cheer for a team it's the NY Giants. I prefer college football even though I have no specific team. But I can't imagine how the biggest sport in this county could cease to exist for a year on the professional level. How about you? Could you imagine if there was no professional football on Sundays for a whole year? I'm not sure what your area is like but Baltimore loves the Ravens, when it comes to this city football is king. With no Sunday football games to attend or watch you might wonder, "What does this mean for my ministry?", "What does this mean for my church?" So what does it mean for church if the NFL locked out?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post we hosted a Family Ministry Kickoff for our kids and student ministers this weekend. One of the central themes mentioned in our kickoff is seizing the opportunity that God presents to us. Some times in ministry we'll focus too much on why students are coming or are not coming but then forget to follow that up with, "What should we do now that they are here?" While evangelization is an important purpose for our ministries to focus on we need to be ready to take care of an instance when students start showing up. What would you do if one night 50, 100, 200 kids just showed up? I'm not saying that would happen with the NFL lockout, but it's possible right? No football, means a very different weekend for many people? I think some of us may have to change the way we do ministry because no football means a void in many people's lives.

So lets say in 2011 the NFL locks out, how would you seize an opportunity like this?

On a separate note, I'm going to be on vacation this next week, I would like to post; however, I'm planning on spending time with family. So I'll talk to you all after the holiday.

Sharing Vision With Children

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:52:00 +0000

Yesterday Lisa Scata (The Director of Children's Ministry) and I hosted a Family Ministry Kickoff for our ministers. We had games, I gave a keynote, we had music, food and an opportunity for all the different ministries to breakout and talk about goals and strategies for the year. For me it was definitely easier cohosting the event then trying to run my own separate Student Ministry Kickoff. Overall the whole morning was a win and I would strongly encourage youth pastors to work as much as possible with the children's pastor. When you do, you benefit in many ways but probably the best way you benefit is from:
Sharing the Vision: I believe the most important ministry for student ministry is children's ministry. You and I both know it's much easier to work with teenagers who have a healthy faith foundation. While a lot of that comes from the home, it also comes from the success of the children's ministry. Our church's vision is Love God, Love Others, Make Disciples. In order to add to this vision of growing people who love God, others and become better disciples of Christ, we in the student ministry want to raise up irresistible examples of Christ who are consistent and authentic in their faith and relationships (Our Vision: Irresistible. Consistent. Authentic. Ministry). But we can't get there unless the kid's ministry is living out a vision that leads into ours, which is raising up children who pray to God, live in Christ and grow in their faith (Kids Ministry Vision: Pray. Live. Grow. In Christ).

It was essential for us to bring our ministers together because then they could talk about the vision within their own ministries and with other age levels. By communicating between the two ministries we can be sure to add accountability and guidance. While we depend on the kid's ministry to set us up for success, it's essential that we as student ministers can give them a clear understanding of how we want to receive them. Each church does it differet, each ministry does it different; however, if there isn't consistency and communication, then there isn't growth.
I would love to have other youth pastors or children's pastors share the ways that they work together to raise up disciples in their church.

How To Stop Feeling Unprepared

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:37:00 +0000

Last year before I ran in the Baltimore Marathon, my wife and I left with what we thought was plenty of time only to get stuck in traffic a mile and half from the starting line with 15 minutes until the race began. With no time to spare my wife suggested I get out of the car on the highway and run to the starting line. I got all my gear together and ran, praying to God that I had everything I needed for the race (my power gels, hat, racing bib, etc.). I arrived in time, had a good race, but couldn't help feeling the whole time I was running, "Did I forget something?"
I don't know about you but there is nothing worse than walking into an evening of ministry feeling unprepared. You don't know who's leading what activity, what the worship songs are going to be, whether or not the giveaways have arrived, do the small group leaders have their questions, did I remember my bible...you know what I'm talking about? Well, even if you don't, even if you've always been 100% prepared it's important to create a system and structure that's going to lower the risk of that ever happening. So what are we doing?

It starts with making sure people are delegated responsibilities. Creating roles for people (i.e. activity leader), will give them the responsibility for making sure something is prepared for the evening. If you want to delegate even more responsibility you can ask people to create, supply and run the game all together.
It then follows with an agenda. I know people dislike agendas, but they are important to keep things tight, to keep everyone on board and to help answer that question of, "What's next in the evening?" This is something to circulate amongst your ministers (I've attached a sample copy for our 7th/8th program below).
Lastly it follows with a master's of ceremony. For our worship we have an on stage mc and behind the scenes mc. Both are responsible for keeping the flow, both are responsible for making sure people get their stuff in. The behind the scene's mc is making sure whoever is leading the game isn't stopping mid sentence because we are short one pen. The on stage mc isn't because we are throwing a show, but he or she is there to make sure the students don't lose interest, if they have questions they have someone to go to.

This is something that has evolved for us over the years and it's not quite perfect; however, we find that it's helped us communicate clearly and never feel as if we are walking in without a clue on what it is we need to do.

What do you do as a leader or a team to help the communication flow through your ministry?

Sample Agenda for 7th/8th grade program

What Do You Have For Me? Clear and Simple Ministry

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 13:06:00 +0000

Our church is planning it's kickoff weekend for the fall and the discussion around the office is what is that going to look like for each ministry. Any big weekend at Church of the Nativity is called a tent weekend because 9 out of 10 times there is a huge tent parked in front of the church, duh. Inside the tent are opportunities for kids to adults to get involved in programs, ministry, membership and so on. Even though people have tried (and one guy got injured) you can't go around it, you can't go under it or over it, you need to do go through it to get into the church. It's not that we are going to force you into something, we just want to make sure you see that their are many ways to get further involved in our church body.
This year our signage is a little different, in the past it's read: Student Ministry, this year it's "I'm a teenager what can I do?" It's a good question, not one that we are often asked. Usually the question I hear is "I'm a teenager what do you have for me?" And that's a hard one because it tempts and pressures us to try and appease students by offering them everything. So is that possible?
No, it's not and I can't promise that question is ever going to go away. It's human nature to seek what's best for us. But if you want to minimize the question it's important to offer ministry that is clear and simple.

CLEAR MINISTRY - This means having a clear vision, clear mission, clear systems and clear communication. Vision doesn't have to be complete. Again you and I were created with a specific purpose, not the only purpose; however, you need to be clear about what (vision) you are trying to accomplish and how (mission) you plan on accomplishing the what. Then you need to tell your students, ministers and parents. People love vision, that's why sports are so popular. What's the vision of a team? Winning the championship. How are they going to do that? By winning more games than the other teams. I know there is more to that, but when you boil it down it's clear.
SIMPLE MINISTRY - When we are simple in student ministry we can guarantee the maximum amount of focus and energy on a specific program or event. Don't do everything, do what God has designed you to do best. I know students, ministers, and parents will want you to do more, but you have to play to your strengths. Busy doesn't mean success. Margin creates health. A simple ministry might not attract everyone but it will have a lasting impact on the people that it does.

There are so many exercises out there on how to be clear and simple. So many youth ministry and church resources that explain how they simplified and made clear their mission and vision (Go to the resource links on the side of this blog for more great examples). What we need to do is constantly think about being more clear, more simple and that means asking for feedback, reviewing what you are doing and prayer. When we are clear and simple, it's hard not to be focused on God.

Adding More Time to Your Work Efforts Without Adding More Time To Your Work Day

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:00:00 +0000

In yesterday's post I mentioned that most of us are entering a crunch time in regards to preparing for our fall seasons. With that said it's no question that time is precious. And we all believe that we cannot create time, so the question has to be, how do we become more efficient with our time. I came across an excellent article by Michael Hyatt, the Chairman and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers. The article is entitled "How to Shave Ten Hours Off Your Work Week." It's filled with great tips on how we can be a little more focused and a little more efficient, I strongly recommend checking it out.
What I like about the article is each step is practical and something I never really considered; however, I believe there are a few more obvious steps that we can take to improve our work effort for each day, they are:

Get Some Sleep: I know this is obvious but I'm serious, sleep is so important to how well we function. Go to bed at a decent hour, don't watch television before you fall asleep or to help you fall asleep. You want your mind to be at rest and television, coffee, gaming, it will stimulate your mind. I suggest prayer as the last thing you do, because I can't think of anything better to put your mind at rest. If you can walk into work restful then you are golden.

Improve Eating Habits: I know I'm not a nutritionist; however, there is one meal I think we don't treat right...breakfast. I'm not your mother, but eat your breakfast, coffee is not breakfast, if you eat a well balanced meal you are going to get through the day without bonking and going for cup number 5 of coffee. Eat something hearty, get some dairy, eat plenty of fruit, bulk up with energy rich foods.

Devote Each Day To God: I'm getting in the habit of reading a chapter from the book of Psalms and Proverbs. It's my quiet time with God before I run, before I shower, before I get ready for the day. At the end I just ask God to allow me to get done everything that I need to get done within the designated time that I've given to my work day, so that I can give the rest to Him and my family.

I know these three steps are obvious, but I know I can easily neglect doing them. If you think about them they are very biblical principles. Jesus rested and spent time with His Father when He needed to refresh. Daniel proved that eating healthy will make you stronger and healthier. As youth workers we need to constantly remind one another of the obvious and not so obvious.

So I would encourage you all (especially veterans) to share what tips do you take to be more efficient in your work day.

The Monsters of Ministry

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 12:49:00 +0000

In about 2 weeks we'll be kicking off the fall season for student ministry. I'm looking forward to seeing the students on a regular basis, starting a new message series and working with ministers I haven't seen all summer. However, with 2 weeks until the first ministry night I've realized that there is still a bit to do on my check-list. I'm not too worried because I've been in this situation before and I know it's not due to laziness or neglect. I just need to buckle down, focus on the tasks at hand and pass it over to God. Easier said then done and that's because of the monsters we face in ministry, especially when planning an event or kicking off a new season of ministry. What are these monsters? And how do we combat them? Well this is what I suggest:

Vanishing Volunteers - You get anxious because you need two more small group leaders, a worship leader, someone to order pizza; however, you can't find or think of anyone to fill that hole. This for me was my number one monster, not having enough ministers for a certain program. How I combat the situation is through prayer. I know that seems obvious but seriously just ask God to calm those nerves. Ask Him to show you whether you need a new plan and then ask Him to send you more gifted ministers. There have been times where I've needed to alter a program because of a shortage of ministers and that's okay, it actually took the program in a new and better direction. We have to remember that God knows what we need and He'll give us what we can handle.

Hidden Students - You fear that no students will show up, because you haven't seen them all summer, your pastor may be reluctant to make an announcement, you don't have all the right addresses, you just don't know how anyone is going to hear about the ministry. Well, if you haven't started, begin inviting students. I use to look at the first day of program as the day where every single student in the community had to be there or else by January no one was going to come anymore. With that attitude that can actually happen. I need to remind myself that we are constantly inviting students whether it's week 2 of a series or 3 weeks left in the season, it's essential to continuously reach out.

Saying It All - You are overwhelmed by the games, activities, messages and curriculum you have to produce for a whole year of programming. What are you going to do in week 25? Who is going to produce the memory verse cards on week 19? It almost seems like you have to rewrite the entire bible but make it better. If you feel like you are writing and producing it all, let me remind you about outsourcing. Go to bluefish.tv, simplyyouthministry.com, ym360.com, etc. There are so many great men and women who have been there and done that, let them take care of the work load. Take your time to produce your own curriculum, in fact don't worry about producing your own curriculum because whether or not you do that doesn't determine how successful you are as a minister. Our goal is to bring students to Christ, not fill their heads with theology. Play to your gifts.

I know what I'm offering isn't rocket science, but I don't think most ministers need a revelation, they just need a reminder. So in short remember God is in control, He'll give you what you need and can handle, there are others out there willing to help you and your ministry is meant to continuosly grow.

I would ask that other veterans offer their insight and advice to those who are stressing about the next season in ministry, so that we can all be in this together.

Best Prep Means Best Results

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:25:00 +0000

I used to paint houses when I was in college. At the time it was good pay but a lot of hard work. Getting to work at 6:30am and not finishing up until 6:30pm was brutal especially during those hot days. My main responsibility was to prep the walls. Basically that means sanding, spackling, scraping, wiping, washing, taping and laying down the tarp. I never appreciated this tedious work until I realized how important it is. If you want the best results on your walls all the work goes into prepping, not the painting. Paint distributors will try to fool you on this but it really comes into how well you prepare your walls.
I think we see how this principle transitions into student ministry; however, there are areas where it can easily be over sighted. Here are two questions to ask yourself to determine, "How prepared am I?"
How are you walking into each opportunity? You need to know how you are going into a situation because if your heart is not in check, if your mind is not settled, how can you give the message, the activity, the song, or the student the attention he or she needs? Something we need tighten is prayer time before serving with our leaders. I'm not sure how all my leaders are walking into a night of ministry, but I know with prayer we can give them the opportunity to offer that up to God. You wouldn't want something happening in your life to affect what you are doing in a negative way.

How are you setting up the environment? Again this is common sense, but I've walked into a series of youth events where the place is dirty, trashed, things aren't fully put away. Irresistible environments, create an atmosphere where the students are engaged and growing.

I know there are more questions to ask ourselves, but really the best way to be prepared is to find accountability and a team to whom you can delegate responsibilities. Praying together, communicating before, during and after a ministry night is key.

What's something you do to better prepare for a ministry event?

The Business of Making Ministry Like a Family

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:01:00 +0000

We have something like 50 ministers in our student ministry (5th -12th grade), that's a significant change from when I first started with 12 ministers 6 years ago. Back then I was only the middle school youth minister so getting to know, nurture and love on 12 people was a much easier task. I remember when I first started I met with each of them for coffee every couple of months, just to see how they were doing in the ministry. I can't do that anymore, I would just be going crazy, but I want to make sure my ministers still feel valued. And I know there are ways of doing that because I read about these seasoned ministers opening up their house, constantly hanging out, growing old with their ministers and I want that. But because we are a bigger team I don't have the time or energy so I have to act more corporate right? I'm running more of a business and less of a family operartion, correct?
Yes and No. It's a business because of the systems and structures that need to be created with a group that size. I need to make sure that the ministry has clear vision, mission, etc but, that doesn't mean family and community should be sacrificed, if anything it should be strongly encouraged.
Ministry is a family because your ministers are just as important (maybe more) as your students. If you don't have ministers, you won't have students. If you don't have God loving ministers, you won't have God loving students. So to make sure that happens it's important to have a healthy ministry leader to minister ratio. Right now I oversee about 5 people. Those people from a ministry standpoint mean a lot, I want to make sure they never get overwhelmed, that they feel supported; yet challenged and that they are always set-up for success. The way this is done is by opening up my house to them, getting to know their families, letting them know mine. I'll get them resources and invest in them as much as possible, which is important because I'm not paying these people to do what I need them to do. They are doing it not because of me but because of God, but they can always stop because of something I did or did not do.
I want my ministry leaders to pass that on to their leaders and sometimes we need to coordinate that. What we've done is grouped some of the ministries into teams of 3-5 people. Each team has a leader and that leader's sole responsibility is to coordinate 3-4 times when the team can get together just to share life. That's it, they don't have to plan meetings, events, etc. Just grow together, treat them like family, treat them like their community. And some have already started. My small group leaders coordinated a Christmas Party for all the ministers this past year. My Resurrection Director (7th/8th) put together a kickoff bbq a few weeks back. And it's been exciting to hear about friendships forming because of two people serving together. That's community.

What have other youth workers (especially those with larger teams) done to make sure community and Christ love is felt amongst the team?

College Ministry = Continued Ministry

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 12:30:00 +0000

I had breakfast with some of the students who graduated from high school this past Spring. It was a little sad because this would be my last time with them for a while. This week and next they begin leaving for college and when program starts up again this fall they won't be there. Most of these students I've known since they were in 7th grade so to see them 18 ready to take on the world is exciting. From talking with them over the summer I know most of them are nervous about college social life because the frat/sorority scene doesn't seem too appealing. I'm not naive to think they will experience college free of temptation, free of situations where their beliefs, values and faith will be challenged. I'm sure parents are more worried about their students than I am; however, I want to make sure that these students are set-up for success so that they can focus on their studies, their relationships, and their lives. So what's the plan, how do we continue to minister to our students after they leave home?
I've started talking with one of my student ministers about this situation. For her this is a close to heart subject because her daughter is one of those leaving home for college. The first step we plan on taking is to look at the incoming seniors. In our church we have a strong tendency to push freshmen small groups; however, I think a lot of energy this year needs to go into the seniors. Granted they won't have four years to grow if they are just joining a small group; however, it's never to late to start building the habit of accountable relationships. And those relationships will be essential as they make this transition.

The second plan is to create a network for the students who have left our area to stay in touch with what's going on in our local church. We're creating a Facebook page that will link them to our sight, link them to our messages, our small group resources, give them a chance to still feel connected to a local church, especially if they are struggling with that at college. Another thing we are looking to do is have the students connected with a student minister (i.e. their former small group leader) who will be there for them, to talk, pray, etc. We don't want our students to get the impression that because high school ends, so does our obligation to love and serve them.
Right now, that's all we have. In regards to launching a full blown college ministry at Church of the Nativity, that's something on my heart, just don't have the people, resources, time and space to do it all. I would like to make it a 2 year plan. My hope is to give college students the opportunity to connect or stay connected in a local church.
I know that many of us wish or hope to have college ministries and a few of us actually have that happening.
What are some of the steps and initiatives that you are taking to create ministry for college age students?
AND
What are some of the obstacles you see in creating or running a college age ministry?

BOOK REVIEW: How Did You Do It, Truett?

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 12:41:00 +0000

Last week my wife and I got invited to a Premier Night for a new Chick-Fil-A opening up in Hunt Valley, MD. How I got invited is a long story but it had to do with Church at Chipotle...go figure. But nonetheless I was thoroughly impressed with the evenings events. When we approached the restaurant we walked up on a red carpet, were greeted by numerous employees and were seated as if we were at a regular sit down establishment. We were waited upon and given our choice of anything on the menu, completely on the house. They also gave away prizes and I was fortunate to win S. Truett Cathy's Book - How Did You Do it, Truett?

It's a quick read, only 97 pages and large print. The book is a basic rundown of how and why Chick-Fil-A was started. After reading it I realized a lot of the same principles found in Truett's book are transferable to student ministry, here are a few:

Courtesy Pays Dividends - Truett describes how important it is that the bathrooms are clean, that there are no lines and that people are greeted with a smile. I found this interesting because recently I feel like the largest criticism about student ministry is how it's turned into a show and less of a relationship. In retail good customer service will take you so far. It might seem insignificant, but you have to ask yourself, "How well do we treat each and every student that walks in through our doors?"
Timing and Sacrifice - Just because we have a good idea doesn't mean it's the right time to do it. Two things on my heart right now that I know are very difficult to do are college ministry and a helping hurting kids ministry. I just don't have the staff, resources and ministers to do it. Truett explains that timing is essential and even though we may have big dreams, we don't need to accomplish them straight away.
Identifying the Product - We could say the product is Jesus or Salvation but what I got out of this principle was knowing your vision and mission. If we are going in to a Sunday (or whenever you do ministry) just hoping to have fun you living out a mission it just might not be the one you planned on. Truett took time to develop the Chick-Fil-A Sandwich, we need to take the time to develop our mission.

I'll always talk highly of Chick-Fil-A because on top of good food, and family values, the restraurants purpose includes honoring God. That's one concept that Truett repeats throughout the book, that the only reason he is successful is because of the hardworking people that surrounded him and the God that created him.

Tell Me But I Won't Listen: How to deal with criticism

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:16:00 +0000

I'm only 29 which I consider young (if I'm in denial let me know) and because of my youth I still feel like I have a few things to prove. I don't know why considering I'm surrounded with people who trust me and give me a great amount of responsibility. I just notice when someone comes up to me to critique my leadership, speaking, writing, etc. I get a little defensive. I'll admit I've gotten better because parents use to write me emails critiquing my ministry, I took them as attacks; therefore, I wrote back an epic of an email explaining why they were misguided and misinformed and should get their facts straight. Let's just say I've broken that habit.

Today I still get defensive; however, I don't feel as if I have as much to prove. I don't feel as defensive and part of it's maturity but I've also learned a few steps that I now apply to deal with the criticism that comes from parents, pastors, teenagers, church members, coworkers, etc.

Make Email A Midday Thing - Don't check your email first thing in the day or last thing in the evening. If you receive something negative it'll set the precedent for the day or affect who you see or how you sleep at home. Unless you are looking for something specific try to check email after you have had time to settle into your day. Give yourself some time to vent and relax before you go home. Whether false or true you know that not all criticism is easy to shake.
Thank Them - If someone is critiquing how you are speaking, leading, writing, interacting with students make sure you thank them. Even if the criticism is something you know or don't agree with thanking is an important gesture because it builds humility; however, it also shows that you are willing to listen. As leaders we need to show that we are open to insight and advice. Thanking someone also diffuses any tension they may be feeling towards sharing their thoughts.
Know It's Not Always You - Sometimes a critique is really just someone venting about something that has nothing to do with you. Someone might send you a nasty email telling you that your program is ineffective. My first reaction is to write back an even nastier email; however, if you look at the words, or if you listen to the tone of someone's voice often you can tell it's not about you, you just happen to be in their focus at the time. I say let them vent and then usually you can diffuse the situation by arranging another time to meet in person to further talk out the issue.
Offer It Up To God - Taking critique, feedback or criticism is an emotional process and something that we need to constantly give over to God. I know when I'm tired and drained if I receive even the slightest comment I'm going to flip. We need to consistently ask God for His patience, love, mercy and grace. If we don't we'll find ourselves growing jaded, disgruntle and even burnt out.

Criticism shouldn't always be received as negative, Jesus was criticized and all it did was confirm that He was moving in the right direction. As youth workers we just need to know how to handle the situation. I know there are other great tips for handling criticism and sometimes we can create environments and situations that make it easier to handle.

I would encourage other ministers reading this to share their insight and feedback on what they have done when they've been critiqued?

What I Learned From A Whole Week Of Middle School Work Camp

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 13:02:00 +0000

I'm both sad and happy that our Middle School Work Camp S*MILE has come to an end. I'm going to miss the teens from the other churches and I'll miss being outside doing different task. However, I look forward to getting back to planning the fall for our church's student programming. I know I've stated numerous times how I don't enjoy the planning and preparing process of events, so you can imagine the stress and anxiety a week long event causes me. Despite those feelings, I couldn't be more happy with how things turned out. Each day parents came up to me and the other youth workers to share that their child would come home each day with stories about the camp. As hard as it is to do this camp I think it's important that we have a week of service for the middle school students. I'm not sure about your area but around here it is really hard to get them involved in service due to age restrictions (most places accept 14 and up). But hosting a week long camp is also important as long as we:
Challenge Their Paradigms - By taking the students to an array of places (farms, inner city day care, shelters, assisted living facilities, etc.) we are able to walk these students into worlds that are so different from what they are use to. I don't think our students are sheltered, but there is a lot they haven't seen, and a lot they don't know. Even if they don't initially embrace the experience you can tell that seeds are being planted.

Create Large and Big Community - There were some days where we had the huge group tackle a project. On these days the clicks form, you could see who had what type of work ethic; however, they still came together to take on a huge feat. On the days when the groups were made smaller you could see students reaching out to those they wouldn't do on a regular basis. Not only were you making them step out of their comfort zone through the service but through the group that they served with. What this emphasized is whether we are large or small we are united in Christ.

Encourage Story Telling - We had the students share their stories on Thursday to the large group. I'll admit we did a poor job of preparing them; however, some great testimonies emerged from certain students. I believe we were all designed to tell a story and even though there are many ways to tell a story outside of speaking, it's a habit that needs to be nurtured.

The camp just ended but I'll probably be meeting with my fellow youth ministers in the next week or two to digest the process. From this experience I'm hoping we can capitalize more on the community and more on the evangelization aspects of service. I'm not going to be too critical because after 3 years of doing this you can see that students are starting to do this for the right reasons, telling their friends to check it out, because they all feel that God is working.

What I Learned From Day 4 of a Middle School Work Camp

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 10:53:00 +0000

Today is Hershey Park and I'm running late to get to the buses so this post will be short but I promise all of you I will sum up the entire week this Sunday. Yesterday we split the students up into five group and each attended a different assisted living facility (Broadmead, Gallagher Services, Arden Court, Blakehurst and Mercy Ridge). Each place offered it's challenges whether the client was old, disabled, or both, the students were definitely in another world.
When the students returned we gave them the time to prepare testimonies, which some of the students embraced, while others treated like a chore. I'm not sure as to why some of the students were reluctant to share but then again I thought about why sometimes I have a difficult time sharing certain things. I'm afraid of coming off silly with my emotions. We are taught to be strong, stoic, fun loving people and any sign of discomfort, weakness, or sappiness makes us seem inferior. I feel as if some of the students were feeling vulnerable and were reluctant to express their feelings. So here's my question, "Who then do they get to share that with?" I believe as youth workers we need to empower parents to continuously reach in to their teens lives and we need to ask questions and encourage them to tell their story. We need students to tell their story, how else will they continue to grow and lead others in Christ?

What I Learned From Day 3 of a Middle School Work Camp

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 11:34:00 +0000

I'm exhausted, the students are exhausted, we are a bunch of wimps because really there is no reason for us to be tired. No, it's really okay but you could tell that the students are physically wearing down. And it's not really because of anything we are doing. I found out yesterday some of these students are going to football, soccer, and field hockey practice after giving the Lord and the people of Baltimore 6 hours of service. I'm not even running this week because I want to preserve some of my energy, so I can't imagine how these kids are doing what they are doing.
Yesterday the students were split up and headed to three different sites. One group headed to Fitness Fun and Games a summer day care for little kids. A second group went over to Fr. Charles Hall and Holy Angels. Their goal was to set-up the new school that would be opening up in a few weeks. And the third group went over to Baltimore Station a place for men in recovery from alcohol and drug abuse. I feel as if the students look forward to because:
This is the day because of the relationships they build with the residents, clients and kids. And although the fruits of their relationships are not mature, they can see the gifts and blessings of meeting someone new. But I also think the students love interacting with all of these people because there are no preconceived notions, no rumors, no prejudgements made because of someone else. I also think the students love the day because they are out of their comfort zone but see the benefits that emerge from meeting someone new.
As youth workers we need to be providing them opportunities to sep out of their comfort zones, to meet people very different from them, to interact and listen to stories very different from the ones they hear at school or see on tv. We need to give the students the opportunity to hear these different stories because then they get more of God's story. It was rewarding for me to hear these students share those stories and I hope they continue to share them with their friends, family and peers.

What I Learned From Day 2 of a Middle School Work Camp

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 03:19:00 +0000

We picked potatoes today and all I could really think about is how I want to make french fries and gnocchi. We drove up north to Freeland, MD to First Fruit Farms a Christian organization that basically grows crops and then gives them to the MD food bank, food kitchens, etc. Last year we helped them pick tomatoes and zucchini, this year we took on potatoes. It was hot again, getting close to 100, the teens didn't bring much water so they depleted the water jugs we had pretty quickly, fortunately it would be a short day. In the afternoon we headed over to Beaver Dam so the teens could go swimming and cool off. Overall the day was fun, but quick; however, there was an interesting observation one of our adult chaperones pointed out:
She pointed out the different work ethics amongst the students. For most of them working outside almost seemed like a new experience, which wasn't much of a surprise considering the number one discussion around the water jugs was about which video game was the best, "Call of Duty" and some other one I don't remember. To break it down, the majority of the students stayed by the water cooler (and drank most of the water), then a slightly smaller group did the bare minimum picking up potatoes but only enough to look busy and then there was a group that was small but strong. They actually tagged themselves as the "Jesus Rocks Team". They picked the potatoes like they were picking gold, they enjoyed the camaraderie and the challenge.
Later on I surveyed the students to see what they thought about the day's task and many of them couldn't understand how people could enjoy actually picking crops. They thought it was hard and mundane. I can see where they are coming from because how can you feel joy in something that doesn't give back? When we go to a soup kitchen the minimum expected is a, "thank you". When we build a house we see a completed project, but picking potatoes? It was probably frustrating because they didn't see the fruit of their labor...feeding the hungry.
I don't think anything is wrong with these teens, they are just acting like teenagers; however, I believe we as adults need to be providing opportunities where students experience work that shows instant fruits and work where it might not be apparent. It'll challenge them to seek vision and purpose for what they are doing. It will teach them patience and humility that comes with knowing God's work isn't about filling a need to be affirmed right away.
We might have missed an opportunity to do that with this year's camp, but something we can do better in the future. It's a lesson in solidarity with a group of individuals you'll never see. It's believing that what you are doing now is going to affect someone in a positive manner down the road.

In what ways do you teach your students solidarity with those they don't see?

What I Learned From Day 1 of a Middle School Work Camp

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 11:30:00 +0000

It was a hot steamy day, which meant a hot steamy bus ride home. Girls, boys, doesn't matter deodorant is something yet to be discovered by some of these students...but that's okay I survived. We spent the day working at The Samaritan Women a transitional living facility for women. The facility is located on a farm in Baltimore City where women will receive vocational training in the culinary arts on top of horticulture. What the students did was clear the land, pull weeds, plant crops, move wood chips, etc. After 6 hours of manual labor in the sun, the students, the chaperones, the other youth ministers and myself were wiped. Even though I'm exhausted there is still much to reflect on, such as:
...when I attempted to motivate a group of 8th grade guys to rake and hoe weeds so that we could later plant peas. The boys were not motivated and you couldn't blame them, it was hot (I'm sure this is the 5th time I've mentioned that), so when we took our 5th water break in 1 hour we started talking about video games, which turned into a discussion about the end of the world, which turned into a discussion about heaven and hell. I didn't force it, but the conversation seemed to flow as if door after door of opportunity kept opening up. It never felt awkward and the more we traveled into the discussion the more they leaned in, the more they became interested.
What I learned from that experience is that some of the best Christ centered discussions we can have with our teens can take outside the small group or classroom. And the reason I feel this way is because those conversations are unexpected, everyone is caught off guard, which means our reaction and their reactions are genuine and honest. And that's what we want right? Genuine and honest discussions with our teens. It starts by listening to what is on their hearts and their minds, allowing it to bring up questions that tie into our faith (and don't worry God always gives us an opportunity to talk about Him) and the pointing them deeper into the discussion by asking them questions and sharing your own story. It's a simple strategy but one that I've found that works.

Feel free to leave your comments or share your insight on what has worked for you.

SMILE: You're Doing a Work Camp With Middle School Students.

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 11:09:00 +0000

Today is Day 1 of Camp S*MILE our Work Camp for middle school students. It's going to be in the low 90's feel like it'll be in the high 90's. What do you get when you have 80+ middle school students doing manual labor in 90 degree heat...one stinky bus ride home. Don't get me wrong, I love the time I get to spend with students, what I don't like is the time that goes into organizing and planning. I'm just not a planner, even calling the pizza place that will supply lunch on Wednesday seems like toil. Fortunately, I have a couple of other great youth ministers co-leading this camp with me so it doesn't fall all on my shoulders.
Today we are going to be working on the campus of the Samaritan Women, a Christian facility designed to help women make a positive transition in life. Granted the students won't be working with the clients directly but they'll be serving them by beautifying the campus. This week I'm going to share with all of you insights I've learned from doing a middle school work camp, I hope that you come back to join me.

I Thought I Knew It All

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 11:33:00 +0000

It's a nice cool morning here in Baltimore, something we don't get too often in the summer, and as I prepare to speak all day and then run a work camp for middle school students this week I begin to ponder, "How did I get here?" That question isn't meant to be negative in any way, but sometimes it's just nice to stop and think about the path that we have taken. I've done this youth ministry thing for about 6 years, I use to think that was a long time in ministry, but the more youth workers I get to know the more I'm realizing many of us are in this for the long haul. I've also realized how my perception of a few things have changed over the years. Now with a couple of years under my belt I realize that I plan meetings different, conduct my work week in a whole new style and build relationships differently from before. So what have I discovered:

Meetings with Ministers - They should be prayerful. I use to get bogged down with the idea of fitting as much information into a meeting as possible, but I'm realizing more and more they need to include time to pray and reflect. After all isn't that the example we are trying to lead? Isn't that what Christ did first? He prayed and then He taught. So when you create your meeting agenda, start it off and end it with prayer time, not a prayer, but prayer time.
Managing Time - Don't fill your schedule just to have a schedule. Before you start planning what your week looks like ask yourself, "When am I most tired?", "When am I the best critical thinker?", "When can I day dream?", etc. By asking those questions you'll know what to do when during your week and during your day. A schedule gives your job more purpose and it leads you towards your vision. But make sure their is margin, so that if family, work project or life happens you can recover just a little quicker.
Collaborate Outside Your Church - Don't just plan with other youth workers, but grow. It's great when you can form personal relationships with other church ministers outside your church. I've got a few people that I meet up with, simply to talk about life. We don't plan events we just get together to share life, talk about ministry, vent a little, it's very therapeutic. There's nothing competitive about it, no one tries to impress the other, it's a time for us to build one another and laugh together.

I know there are thousands of veteran youth workers out there who have seen their perception change. What has changed in your mindset over your tenure of youth ministry?

Youth Ministry Identity Crisis

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:43:00 +0000

I never thought I would have to answer the questions "What do you want to be?" and "What purpose do you serve?" when it came to student ministry. I thought those answers were pretty standard. Coming into the job I wanted my youth ministry to be fun and I thought our purpose was to get students involved in youth ministry. That was my vision and mission for the youth ministry. But the more I worked with the students the more I realized that I needed something that was going to inspire the students, the ministers and me. Because if student ministries aren't striving to inspire students in a relationship with Christ, then what's the point?
A couple of days ago Lisa our Children's Minister and I were sitting down talking about vision and mission statements and this is what we discovered:

Vision Statement - Is a picture of what you would like your "organization" or student ministry to look like. The reason you create a vision statement is because you want your team to know where you intend to go. A vision statement is like having a destination, how you are going to get there no one knows; however, you have hope and confidence that you'll one day get there. So what do you want your ministry to look like? For our student ministry our vision statement is an irresistible, consistent and authentic ministry of teenagers spreading the word of Christ.
Mission Statement - Is a statement that answers the question, "What's our purpose?" You need to know why you exist or else what you are doing can become mindless toil. I'm serious you ever wonder why you are a youth minister? Having a mission statement will bring you back to why you said yes to God's calling. It's a reminder to your ministers why they are important. For our student ministry our mission statement is to create environments, opportunities and relationships that point students into a deeper relationship with Christ.

The problem many of us have with creating a vision and mission statement is that they tend to be too complex. This happens because we want to explain everything, but you don't have to, in fact a vision statement should inspire your team to dream big. With a mission statement you don't have to try to explain your whole denomination's purpose, in fact feel free to embrace your ministry's uniqueness. So what does your vision/mission statement encompass?

Teaching the Teachers

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:21:00 +0000

One challenge I see for all of us that work in a church is figuring out how to get fed on a regular basis. I know I tend to get the feeling, especially in high capacity seasons of just being drained. That's why it's important for us to make sure we spend time with God and seek spiritual accountability both in our professional and personal setting. And as important as it is to fill ourselves spiritually we also need to get filled with advice and insight on a professional level.
Now, I don't know about you but I love going to conferences. And I'm sure most of us do; however, some don't have conference costs in our budget. Same goes for resources that teach us the youth worker, there are some great tools out there but not everyone has the budget to purchase all of them. So how can leaders with low budgets still find the tools to grow and learn?
Bring the Conference to You - Purchasing a conference DVD is a possibility, there are many available but still some are just too expensive. That's why podcasts are such a blessing. Almost every successful church or church ministry has one and the majority of them are free. When you go to itunes, click podcasts and select Religious/Christianity from the list and bam! you have at your fingertips a whole library of great speakers that you would find at most conferences. But some of you may not know who to start with because the list is pretty overwhelming. Four that I regularly follow are:

Simply Youth Ministry Podcast - This is specificially for youth workers and is a great place to get your questions answered. Doug Fields, Josh Griffin, Katie Edwards and Matt McGill make you feel like you are sitting at the table.
Simply Junior High Podcast - Kurt Johnston from Saddleback brings you into the wisdom he's learned as a junior high pastor. And anyone who's in junior high ministry knows the more wisdom and guidance we can gather the better.
Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast - I'm a systems and structures junky, I have a business mindset and I love applying that to student ministry. Andy Stanley not only shows us how but why it's okay to do so. If you want build a good, healthy ministry team, listen to this one.
Catalyst Podcast - Want to hear Craig Groeschel, Donald Miller, or Rick Warren. Just go hear and listen to what they have to say. Never has it been so easy to listen to some great advice from some great leaders.

Teaching Tools For Me - I think many of us can google websites that will provide us with games and materials to teach our students, but what about for us youth workers? Where can we gain access to resources that will teach us? Start off with:

Blogs - All I have is my advice; however, go to the youth ministry sites I have listed to the left of this page. All of them have a free newsletter which is going to give you sound advice on what you can do to teach yourself and your leaders.
Community - When you go to most blogs you'll find that they have a built in community. Participating in these online communities are important because they can connect you to a youth worker in your local community. Having face to face time is important and if your denomination doesn't offer a local network, starting with these online ones are key.

I know what I've offered isn't news breaking; however, I meet so many ministers who miss out on the importance of growing themselves in ministry. But it's important to share our resources, because maybe there's something that I've found that you haven't come across, but I also realize there are things you know that I do not. I would love for people to share what they've learned with me and the other readers in their comments below.

When A Teenager's Life Doesn't Go According To Plan

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:32:00 +0000

I never planned on being a youth pastor, my plan was to be a documentary film maker. Looking back it's clear that God was guiding me to where I am today; however, coming to the realization that my film career was never going to happen was a little hard. I could go on and go deeper on other things that haven't panned out in my life, but that would take writing a book.

Amazon.com Widgets

In Pete Wilson's book Plan B, he talks about the struggle we can face when we realize our lives aren't going according to plan. Just when we think we are in control of our destiny someone or something comes in and takes away control. Is it God, is it sin, is it the devil? It's hard to figure out; however, when we shift our attention to God in times of transition we can learn to embrace the "new plans" for our life.

I think for a lot of students this can be a brutal reality. I especially think about this as we head into the Fall and see students who are about to engage in their senior year, getting ready to finish up SATs, write essays, and fill out applications. Just like anybody they have dreams and hopes, which can be dashed when things just don't go according to plan.
I'm a huge advocate of small groups, we are going to push them hard this year for seniors because in those groups we want to take time to help students process any changes or decisions they may have not forseen. We also want to give them support. I know small groups aren't the only solution to easing senior year stress, but with community we can give them the suppor they need.
As youth workers we all deal with this and would love to hear what you all offer seniors as they discern the next stage of life.

Limitless Gifts

cwesley@churchnativity.org (Christopher Wesley) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 12:32:00 +0000

As my 30th birthday approaches (in about 4 months), I'm coming to the reality that my body doesn't do what it did in my mid 20's and I know this reality will become more and more real as I approach the next decade milestone. It doesn't help when I don't take care of my body and this past weekend I ate a lot more than this fine specimen is able to handle. This morning before my run I felt bloated and blah. In the end the run wasn't horrible; however, it wasn't easy either. I have to now take into consideration not to abuse my body like I use to and that it needs more time to recover. As the fall approaches I know I'm at similar risk with ministry. There would be Sunday nights of student ministry that would wear me out to the point where getting out of bed on Monday felt like torture. So how do we avoid burnout and bruising weekend?

It's really by surrounding yourself with a dedicated team of ministers, but if you are new or not there yet the idea of not having those people can be overwhelming. So in the meantime take note of your:

Gifts - You can do best when you were designed to do best. God gave you gifts and talents so instead of improving on your weaknesses, work on your strengths. One night our band was a no show for the middle school program, with the exception of one guitarist, guess who sang? I did, guess who can't sing? That's right me. I am musical I play the piano and guitar, I just don't have the gift of singing, I have the gift of sounding bad and at that time I shouldn't have shared it. Some of us try to be well rounded but if we don't have that gift and force it because we see other ministers doing it we may cause harm. When we try to be everything we end up acting like a flashlight, we need to be more like a laser, focused and concentrated. And that brings me to the next thing:
Limits - We want to believe we can do everything, but we just can't. When you embrace the limits that God has surrounded you with you begin to discover how much you can really accomplish. When there are no limits its easy to develop "the grass is always greener..." mentality, because we are constantly looking to get off the path God has set forth for us. God put these limits in our life to help us, not to deter us. Some of those limits might be the demographics of your community, the size of your church, or the budget. And embracing your limits isn't just an act of humility, it's an act of thanking God for the path He's designed for you, in the end you'll feel more joy acting within His parameters. After all isn't that what we teach our students?

When we recognize our limits and gifts it becomes easier for us to welcome people into our ministry who compliment us and will help us take it to the next level. One of the keys to building a ministry team is recognizing where there are holes and who you need to fill them. With all that said, it's still important to recognize that we will have bad weekends or rough seasons of ministry, but by embracing our limits and gifts we relinquish more of our control over to God and allow Him to bless us with a great ministry team.

I know I only have 6 years of ministry under my belt that's why I would invite others to share what they have learned helps them avoid burnout and even a rough weekend?