A Journey to Social Mastery

Review of October’s Party

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:50:00 +0000

I had hosted my most recent apartment party this past Saturday and it was a complete success.

There were a total of 31 of us. Only a handful of guests flaked. Below are some reflections on the party:

New Additions That Were Successful

Food: In the past, for fifteen guests I would order four pizza pies. For over 30 guests I was unsure of how many pies I should order. I considered just doubling the number to eight considering that four worked well for fifteen guests. However I just felt that was way too much of one thing so I opted for less pizza and decided to supplement the pizza with wings. As a result, for the increased guest list I ordered 6 pizza pies (2 plain, 2 pepperoni, 1 sausage, and 1 meatball) and 3 dozen wings. My guestimate worked well since only three slices were left over. In addition to the pizza modification I added cheese cake to the dessert menu. It was served a couple of hours after the pizza.

Games: There were only two new games added to this party. The first was Left, Center, Right (LCR), which was not played. However, every time I host a party different games are played depending on the social dynamics and interactions of the guests. The second new addition was a game similar to Russian Roulette called Lightening Reaction. Basically four people hold a joystick. A light on the machine flashes with music playing. When the light goes off the first person to press the button on the joystick wins and the losers (the other three players) get a respectable electric shock. If a player presses the button on their joystick before the light and music stops they are the only one to receive the shock. It is very fun to play and even more enjoyable for the guests watching the losers reactions when they get zapped. The other games played during the night were Shot Glass Checkers, Flip Cup, Beer Pong, and Apples to Apples.

Liquor: We added some new drinks to the menu. The first was Captain Morgan’s Coconut Rum which happens to work very well mixed with Fruit Punch. We also had Bacardi Long Island Ice Tea which worked well as a shot.

Future Ideas

At this point in time my parties pretty much work like clockwork and run very effectively as is, but since I am a perfectionist I always look for ways to improve upon the experience.

Music: One idea I have is to add wireless speakers to both the kitchen and bathroom to extend the reach of the music without raising the volume of the music in the apartment. The problem with just raising the volume is that the louder the music is, the louder the guests are so they can hear each other, which of course increases the chances of complaints. 30+ people are loud enough, no reason to artificially raise the volume.

Cupcakes: Anyone in NYC who has tried cupcakes from Magnolias or the Buttercup Cupcake Factory know how great it would be to reproduce those cupcakes. That is just what I plan to do for a dessert option at my parties. I plan on purchasing a professional mixer and will make a batch of different flavored fresh cupcakes. I suspect they will be just as much of a hit as the chocolate fondue has been.

Frozen Drinks: I now have one of those Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker machines which are these huge blending devices that make it very easy to make restaurant quality mixed drinks very easily. I plan on implementing the machine at future parties.

Popcorn: I recently purchased one of those old fashioned popcorn machines which I think will be a blast to use for movie nights which I am considering beginning soon. Basically rent a newly released movie and then have a handful of friends over to enjoy. But of course it is a way better experience if you can mimic the movie going experience more effectively. So I plan on having nachos with cheese and popcorn available for the occasion.

Orgies Do Exist – And I Had a Soft-Swap

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:20:00 +0000

Before sharing this experience I want to confess that I never really thought that people had orgies or that they were so common and what surprised me the most was that so many very attractive people would be involved in such things.

I am going to define an orgy as group sex where many people (6+) play with each other as compared to just many different couples swapping in the same environment but separate from each other.

On Saturday night my LTR (Long Term Relationship) – who we will call Samantha – and I were invited to a couples only swinger dinner party. We have recently been attending a lot of private parties but this was the first dinner party that we’ve been invited to. The party took place at a couple’s home and approximately a dozen couples attended. The rules and setup were simple, there was a cocktail hour that allowed guests to socialize, then dinner was served, and not too long following dinner, the party was moved to the basement where four beds were set up. Guests were not required to participate but if they wanted to watch they would have to do so in the nude.

For those wondering what types of people attend these parties, I have to admit I was very surprised at how attractive many of the couples were. They ranged from average to just plain wow.

We mingled with many of the guests but after dinner, one particular attractive couple caught our attention. They were both in their early twenties and were both attractive and just down to earth. We will call them John and Megan. After dinner we approached them and chatted for awhile. They were a bit shy, but to break the ice Samantha asked Megan if she wanted a drink. After the drink Samantha asked Megan if she wanted to make out. She said yes and we all proceeded down to the basement play area.

Everyone was naked down there and many of the guests were already playing with each other. The four of us stripped and sat down on a bed next to each other and Meagan and Samantha began to make out. Megan went down on Samantha and fingered her and then Samantha reciprocated. During this whole time a couple was having sex next to us.

After Samantha went down on Megan for a short period Megan asked if Samantha wanted to swap partners. At that point I made out with Megan and fingered her as she played with me and then she gave me a blow job while John went down on Samantha and Samantha gave John a hand job. Then I went down on Megan until she came. Shortly after we swapped back to our original partners (me with Samantha and John with Megan) and had sex with our respective partners. This was considered a soft swap which consists of swapping partners to the point just before actual vaginal intercourse.

While we were playing with John and Megan a massive orgy was forming on beds near us. There must have been about twenty people on those three beds all eating each other out, giving blow jobs, and having sex. We couldn’t even distinguish who was who. It has to be one of the most interesting sexual sights I had ever seen. And the moans and noises emanating from that pile of people was amazing.

We definitely had a wonderful time and exchanged contact information with John and Megan to hang out in the future and probably play again, possibly moving into a full swap where we have sex with each other’s partners.

Guides

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:23:00 +0000

This will be the future location where I link to guides I have written. The permanent link can be found at the top right hand corner of this website. I'm going to try to write a new guide every three months or so.

How to Host Apartment/House Parties (v.1.0)

How to Host Apartment/House Parties (v. 1.0)

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:55:00 +0000

I’m hosting my 13th party next month. My parties have come a long way since the first one I hosted back in April of 2008. This one looks to be the largest one yet. I’m expecting between 25 and 30 guests. The invites went out a little over a week ago and I have received 22 confirmations so far.

Since I have modified how I throw my parties I have decided to make a short guide explaining the steps I take from start to finish in hosting these parties.

Why Host a Party?

Hosting a party has many benefits. Below I will list a few:

1. If you have a large social circle it can be difficult to regularly spend time with many of your friends. By hosting parties, you allow many people in your social circle to come to you at the same time. Thus strengthening your relationships with those people without having to commit to spending time with each one of those people individually.

2. Hosting a party allows you to invite people you may not yet be friends with but you are interested in getting to know better. It is not as intimidating for them as a 1 on 1 interaction and provides a “safer” environment for them to get to know you better, and allows you to more easily incorporate new people into your social circle.

3. You can encourage friends to bring guests. This allows you to meet a variety of new people and if you like those new people you meet you can always invite them to future parties or social events.

4. Hosting parties or events positions you to become a leader of your social group. People will come to you wanting to know what the next party or social event is and when it will be.

5. Hosting parties or events creates immediate social proof.

6. Guests reciprocate. Many guests will invite you to parties or events they may be a part of in the future.

The Art of Hosting

Before we get into the specific steps to hosting a party I am going to briefly discuss the role of the host and the actual art of hosting a party.

Hosting a party is actually a lot of work but can be a blast. Learning to host parties is like learning pick up, you try new things out and learn from your mistakes, discarding what doesn’t work and keeping or improving upon what does work.

As a host, if the party does not go well, or guests are not enjoying themselves, the blame falls squarely on your shoulders. It is your job to make sure that overall the guests are fed well, drinking, socializing, and enjoying themselves. You will always have a few guests who bad seeds, but you cannot make everyone happy.

One major mistake I notice many people that host parties make is when the host becomes a guest at their own party. What I mean by this is that instead of making the rounds, making sure everyone is enjoying themselves, and directing the flow and energy of the party and the party’s activities they take a passive role and behave as though they aren’t hosting the party but rather is just a guest of the party.

Invitations

I create an events page on Facebook. I make sure all the information is filled out and I create a graphic to go with the event.

I then invite my guests.

I then send out a txt message to all those I invited informing them of the date of my next party and that the invites have been sent out on Facebook.

Two weeks before the party I begin calling, txting, or Facebook messaging those that have not yet responded or put selected maybe encouraging them to attend.

A week before the party I send out a message to all guests and those that have not yet responded and selected maybe to choose either Yes or No and a detailed for the party providing directions, parking information, etc. I have found that “Maybe” on Facebook generally means No.

The day of the party I send out a txt message to all those that have confirmed they were coming asking them to call or txt if they are going to be late or cannot make it.

Cleanliness

Make sure your house/apartment is clean. A messy place is a big turn off for many and you do not want to give guests any reason for not attending a future party.

Most importantly, make sure your bathroom is spotless.

An unsanitary bathroom will definitely attract attention, especially the attention of female guests. Make sure there is extra toilet paper and I keep a glass of mints on the bathroom so guests can “Freshen up” if they happen to upchuck or plan on smooching with any other guests.

Encouraging Others to Arrive on Time

Many people do not show up to parties when they begin. People generally trickle in a couple of hours after the party is underway. However, this creates an odd situation for the few guests that arrive early and will dissuade them from arriving on time during the next party.

You need to emphasize that you want to people arrive on time or close to the beginning of the party as possible.

One way to do this is by providing incentives to people to show up on time.

I accomplish this through having a set schedule involving when snacks are out and when pizza is ordered. As discussed below I only have the Fondue, which is very popular, out between 7 p.m. when my parties begin and 9 p.m. when the pizza arrives. If guests arrive later, they lose out.

Should You Have a Cover Charge?

At prior parties I required from each guest a $5 cover charge and a six pack of beer to help offset my costs. However, I have abandoned the $5 cover charge which has led to an increase in guests.

Whether to have a cover charge or not really depends on how well you can afford to host the parties. The parties can get a bit pricey between all the snacks, the pizza, and the liquor.

Snacks and Food

Having well fed guests are very important. Many guests go to parties expecting there to be food. I’ve been to parties where the host neglected this very important aspect. It is hard to enjoy yourself when you are starving and the host comes off as incompetent or cheap if he or she does not provide for the needs of the party goers.

I make sure that there is a fridge stocked with bottled water and Red Bull, plus a limited supply of Sprite and Pepsi. However, note that I do limit the amount of Sprite and Pepsi in the fridge because I prefer my guests to be drinking alcohol and not soda. Why Red Bull? It is a caffeine boost that will make guests more awake.

I use a Cuisinart Electric Fondue Set and put out a spread of Graham Cracker Crumbed Marshmallows, Oreo Crumbed Marshmallows, Regular Marshmallows, Rice Crispy Treats, and Strawberries. I melt chocolate in the fondue device. This has been a real hit with guests. Prior to this point I had out a bowl of party mix and a bowl of Tostitos Scoops and Salsa.

We order Pizza at 8:30 to be delivered. If there are less than 10 guests at the time I order 2 pies. If there are between 10-15 guests I order 3 pies. If there are more than 15 guests I order 4 pies. We order equal number pepperoni and plain.

The Fondue stays out until 9 p.m. and then regardless of how much is left I throw out the rest. I also aim to put out slightly less food than is necessary to create scarcity mentality. The pizza arrives soon after.

After the Pizza is mostly gone I put out a bowl of party mix and a bowl of Tostitos Scoops with salsa.

When guests begin to leave at the end of the night I offer them a Red Bull or coffee. I keep disposable coffee cups and lids in my apartment. This allows myself and others to leave with a cup of coffee and not worry about returning a mug, but can rather dispose of the cup when finished.

Music

You should have music at a party.

For music I tune to one of the music channels provided by my cable provider called “The Hit List” and set it to a reasonable volume and then I put the remotes away in one of my bedroom drawers. I remove the remotes from the room to prevent guests from changing the volume and the channel. I do not want guests to change the volume because by raising the volume other guests will have to raise the volume of their voice to hear one another and I would like to keep complaints from neighbors down to a minimum. I do not allow guests to change the channel because I want guests to interact and not veg out in front of the television. I’ve seen at other parties guests change the station to a movie or to a sports game. If I wanted to have a football party I would organize one.

In addition, if you have a larger space or prefer not to use the television, I suggest you have an IPOD/MP3 compatible system that will allow you to create your own playlist.

Seating

Having more than twenty people at your place requires lots of seating.

I suggest buying folding chairs. I personally keep 14 folding chairs on hand, plus 6 dining room chairs (which I prefer not to be used), and a couch and a loveseat. This provides plenty of seating.

Games

Entertainment is always very important. You do NOT want your guests to become bored or to be stuck playing the same drinking game over and over again.

To address this I have the following set up:

A professional beer pong table. You can also play flip cup on the table. Both of these games are very fun and encourage others guests to drink. You can order one of these tables off of the internet for a little over a hundred dollars. They fold up into a suitcase so you can easily store them in the closet. One important note when dealing with beer pong and flip cup: Buy TONS of plastic party cups. Many guests do not like to reuse cups other people have played with before them. I keep literally hundreds of cups and dispose of them after each one is used during a game so no one has to worry about germs. You do not want your guests to be skeeved out or dissuaded from participating because of a lack of supplies.

In addition to beer pong and flip cup I have Apples to Apples (which I modified to require each round’s winner to take a shot), Poker, Spoons, Lighting Reaction Extreme, I’ve Never…, Naughty Charades, shot class checkers, and all the classics in case guests want to play (Stragego, Risk, Clue, Monopoly, Life, Jenga, Chess, Checkers, Connect Four, and Operation).

What is important is to make these games into drinking games. Attempt to make each games loser or winner have to take a shot. This makes these games much more interesting and keeps the party moving along nicely.

Video Games

I allow no video games to be played.

I have prevented this by not having any out and by removing the remotes for the television. I have found that video games bring attention to the television and not to the guests and actually hinder socializing. The goal is to increase social interaction and fun, not to direct all attention to a box. It doesn’t matter what the game, even games like Guitar Hero are actually detrimental in the long run and I find many people use such games as a crutch.

Alcohol

Alcohol is essential to having a very successful party (not so much for other types of social events).

I require guests to bring a six pack, but they are free to have as much beer as they can drink. I also give full access to my liquor supply to all my guests.

The reason I ask guests to bring their own beer is to cut down on costs, and it gives a greater selection of beer because everyone has different tastes.

I make sure my refrigerator has ample amount of space the day of the party and I put in about 12 bottles of my own beer and a bunch of Pepsi, Sprite, Red Bull, and Bottled Water.

As guests come in I start filling up the fridge with beer and guests self-serve at that point.

As for liquor, I keep a stacked bar and I attempt to make as many games as possible require the loser or winner to take a shot and I call for rounds of shots every 20 minutes or so. This keeps the party moving and the guests inebriated.

Smokers

Left unchecked smokers can be an issue. It depends on the crowd.

I don’t allow smoking in my apartment so smokers take smoke breaks outside the apartment.

During one party I had quite a few smokers and they all decided to smoke at the same time. This resulted in three things: (1) My party was reduced by about half which drains a tremendous amount of energy from the party, (2) After they were finished smoking they hung out outside for about 45 minutes, and (3) By hanging out outside so long while intoxicated and with so many of them we received our first noise complaint.

As a result I inform guests in my Facebook message two weeks before the party that guests should limit smoke breaks to ten minutes due to previous complaints. So far my guests have respected my wishes.

Sick Guests

If a guest is feeling sick I have them rest in my bedroom and take a time out.

I keep paper towels, water, and a “vomit bucket” in the bedroom. For those of you who wonder why I keep a “vomit bucket” and why guests can’t just go to the bathroom to vomit, apparently some just can’t. I’ve had guests vomit in my bedroom and it is way better to be able to just close a garbage bag and dispose of the vomit then have to clean a floor full of it.

Future Updates

After each party I learn something new. As I continue to learn and host better parties and events I will continue to update this guide. Feel free to make any suggestions or comments below.

New York City PUA Events for September 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:41:00 +0000

New York City PUA Events for August 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:36:00 +0000

Video of Love Systems on the Tyra Banks Show

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 16:55:00 +0000

Savoy and Braddock of Love Systems were on the Tyra Banks Show this past Friday. The view is below:

Website Update

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 29 May 2009 05:47:00 +0000

I have decided to remove any blogs listed on the left hand side of this site if it has not been updated in the last 6 months. If you feel your blog should be listed, feel free to e-mail me and I will post it. This should help keep outdated resources off this site. In addition I've been pretty busy outside of the world of seduction so I have not really had time to focus on updates on this site. That should change a bit soon and there will be more regular updates.

New York City PUA Events for April 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:47:00 +0000

The Mentality of Most AFCs

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 23:36:00 +0000

A lot of AFCs think that if they do things for girls those girls will like them in return. This is why so many guys go out of their way for girls, whether those girls ask them to or not, even though there is little chance of anything developing from it. A scene from the movie called "Sex and Death 101" starring Simon Baker and Winona Ryder illustrates this point wonderfully so I thought I would share:

The Don on WGN News Segment

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 18:49:00 +0000

The Don from Love Systems was on a WGN News Segment explaining dating tips and advice. Below is a video of that news segment:

Swinging: First Time Visiting an On-Premise Club

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:41:00 +0000

Last weekend my Primary Long Term Relationship (PLTR) and I went to an On-Premise Swingers Club.

An On-Premise club is a club which sexual activity is allowed. Generally they have a separate section where partygoers can get nude and have sexual intercourse with one another. There are private rooms that have curtains, public rooms where everyone can clearly see what activities are going on, etc. This particular club even had a sex swing set up. Some clubs only cater to Couples only, others also allow Single Women, and still more also allow Single Men (though with different restrictions on days or screening methods).

In New York most On-Premise Clubs (including this one) do not serve alcohol, but they do have a juice bar (they serve soda, juice, pretzels, chips, etc.).

A lot of the more exclusive clubs screen not only the men, but also the couples. Some screening mechanisms are to see photos of the individuals before and others require having a current couple of the club vouch for the applicant.

The club we went to was NOT one of these very upscale clubs/parties that require a $150 to attend for couples and even more so for single guys and implement strict screening procedures.

We went on a night where it was free for couples (this was the main reason we checked the place out) and single men would be allowed in following 11:30 p.m. We thought it was a good chance to check the place out and not have to pay for the experience.

According to the nights total there were 16 couples and a whole lot of single men. I felt the place didn’t exactly do a good job of screening the men coming in. The club had said that upscale dress was required, but some of those they let in were far from it. These men paid $40 to enter the club.

The first odd thing we noticed was the creep factor of these guys. We walked into the play area (the area where people have sex) and immediately every guy in the place basically followed us in there. They were hovering. No one tried to speak with us, they just hovered. So we left the play area. Now I know how girls feel when a guy hovers and does nothing. 3 Second Rule guys.

So we hung out at the juice bar for awhile and every now and then we would go into the play area to see what was happening.

None of the couples interested us. Even the ones with attractive female halves did not also have an equally attractive male half.

By the end of the night three men opened us. Two were friendly, but we weren’t interested. They third one was creepy and tried using a weather opener to open us.
People did have sex however. One woman dragged her husband along with two other guys into one of the rooms and had a foursome. All those creepy single guys would run over to the room and even though the curtain was closed still peer in to watch the action. It was really a turn off.

The oddest behavior was the male masturbation. There were guys that would just sit down not too far away from us and stare at my PLTR and jerk off. They pulled out their little friends and start pumping away. Believe it or not, some people were creepier when they did this than others. One guy kept getting closer and the look on his face had such intensity to it that we had to just get up and leave.

So in the end, we didn’t play with anyone. None of the couples interested us (one did proposition us, but we passed) and definitely none of the guys interested us in the least.

What is really interesting is that if some of these guys dressed well and learned some social skills and didn't follow women around, they would probably see a lot more action at these types of clubs instead of throwing down anywhere between 40-100 dollars to just be creepy.

Lay Report: Audrey

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:06:00 +0000

Rating

5.5 – Cute (View My Detailed Rating Scale)

Details

I am going to call the girl Audrey.

I met this girl at a party at a friend’s house several weeks ago. She was the new housemate of my friend.

I had gone to the party with my Primary Long Term Relationship (PLTR) and at some point in the night I was left alone with this girl for a significant amount of time. Because I host parties regularly I had taken down her number earlier in the night, but at this point we both had quite a bit to drink and I was making a lot of sexual innuendos. For instance, at one point I accidently knocked a shot onto her lap and said to her, “oh no, I just made you wet, what are we going to do now?” You get the drift. I built absolutely no rapport. I only knew her name and basically nothing else (One thing of note is that she just recently broke up with her long term boyfriend on Valentine’s Day). We were just having a good time and I was just basically running social circle game the entire night. By that I mean that I established myself as a fun social guy throughout the night. I didn’t run routines or show sexual interest in anyone until Audrey and I were left alone and mostly I did that only because I was a bit bored and wanted to see what I could get away with.

At one point after people returned to the room Audrey and I were in, Audrey went to the bathroom. I was waiting outside the bathroom to use the restroom after her and when she opened the door to leave the bathroom she fell backwards against the wall in the bathroom. I went in there to help her up and she began to make out with me. She only stopped when someone in another room called her name.

Later on in the night Audrey was in the kitchen where coffee was brewing. The night was coming to a close and I needed a pick me up before heading out so I went to check on the coffee. We were the only ones in the kitchen and chatted briefly and then she began to kiss me and we started making out. However, she didn’t want to stop. My PLTR walked into the kitchen and finally Audrey stopped. My PLTR handled the situation completely fine and didn’t make any indication to anyone that what had happened fazed her in the least.

The following day Audrey sent me a text message. She wanted to know if my PLTR and I were okay after what happened the previous night. I informed her that my PLTR is completely fine and that we have an open relationship. Audrey then went on to tell me she wanted to hook up with me again then. I told her to have absolutely no expectations with me and she agreed she wouldn’t.

The friend that hosted that original party decided that she would have another get together the next Saturday to finish off all the Jell-O shots she made for the previous week that we never got to. At that party Audrey was consistently trying to get me alone with her to make out with her, and kept rubbing my leg and trying to put her leg on mine. She got really intoxicated and was slamming her phone and knocking over drinks. It was very unappealing and at that point I was pretty much turned off by her because of her behavior.

The following weekend Audrey wanted to hang out with me but I had other plans. She then txt messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out the following weekend, which would mark a month since I met her. I told her I would have to check my calendar and decided that I would hang out with her and if she acted in any way that turned me off I could always just end the night early.

This past Saturday Audrey and I went out to a bar and had some drinks. We had a good time, flirted, and built some rapport, and then made out. Now in all honesty I am very confident that I could have skipped the bar and went straight to the bedroom, but I wasn’t sure if I was interested. However, I was interested by the time we were leaving the bar. We went back to her place, I asked the requisite questions (e.g., when was the last time you were tested for STDs and what were the results), and then I went down on her.

The issue arose when I realized I had drunk way too much and I was having difficulty getting hard. This has happened several times in the past, but it is a psychological thing more than a physical. If I’m sleeping with a girl for awhile, it does not matter how drunk I get, I can get hard very easily; it is only with new girls that my equipment decides to malfunction when I drink. But this girl was not having any of that. She wanted to have sex and she wasn’t going to take any excuses.

She went down on me and played with me until I got hard. I slapped on a rubber and went to work. Overall it was a fun, playful experience that I would repeat.

The only issue is that because she is the housemate of my friend, some of my friends now know about my open relationship with my PLTR and I just like to keep most of my private life to myself. I think the fact that I actually have an open relationship and I slept with her housemate has made her feel uncomfortable, which I somewhat cannot blame her for since when I was going down on Audrey she was moaning loud enough to wake the dead, and she definitely woke my friend up.

Conclusions and What I learned

Girls are looking to hook up with guys for any number of reasons, but when a girl is really interested it is almost a done deal baring the guy not being interested or really turning the girl off. In this case, Audrey had recently ended a long term relationship and I was probably the first attractive and fun guy to give her attention after the breakup so it was fairly easy. She was looking to hook up, if it wasn’t me it would have been someone else.

New York City PUA Events for February 2009 (Updated)

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:40:00 +0000

In an effort to keep my readers and myself better informed on the different community events occurring in New York City each month I post a calendar at the beginning of each month listing all upcoming events I am aware of. New York City is a place that has several different community groups and there is no reason to learn pick up on your own if you do not want to. If I have a missed an event that you feel should be listed please do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Thursday, February 5
Title: First VibeFest of 2009
Host: VybeList / NYC Lair
Location: Chinatown Brasserie, 380 Lafayette St., New York, NY 10003
Time: 8:30 p.m.
Price: Free
Description: “Master Instructor of our 12 Week Program, Paul Bosche, will lead our first Vibe Fest of 2009! This is the official wingman meetup for the NYC Lair. We will all meet at the downstairs lounge of Chinatown Brasserie (make a left after you enter) between 8:30pm and 9pm ONLY. Afterwards, we will all go out in smaller, manageable groups. Yes, we will be pushing those who need it, into approaching and debrief afterwards. A great opportunity for those of you who just want real-time feedback from someone who knows - without having to trade for it.”

Thursday, February 5
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Location: TBD
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Saturday, February 7
Title: Image Consulting
Host: NYC Wingmen
Location: Ripley Grier Studios, 520 Eighth Avenue, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10018
Time: 7 p.m.
Price: $10
Description: “This Month our Speaker will be Ron Larson, he is professional image consultant and photographer. He had done photo shoots for GQ, Style, and various other fashion magazines. He was a judge at Miss America Contest. He will talk about styles that are currently in fashion, and then ones that never go old. If you want to learn what looks good on you, and some ideas on fashion and what to wear this is great place to start. He will talk about - How to mix colors. Some colors should never be worn together and some go together perfectly. Learn which is which. - Quick tips on looking trendy. - How to pick clothing, shopping tips - Individual advice. He will pick one guy at random and give him feed back and advice on clothing, hair style, skin tone, colors that go well with you and what to wear and not wear. If you would like to be that one person who is being reviews email me with request. - Overview of basic and more in depth fashion tips. Ron will talk about some cases of how few little things in appearance made big difference for some of his client.”

Sunday, February 8
Title: Let’s Go Window Shopping for Women – Featuring Race & Kelly from the Art of Charm
Host: VybeList / NYC Lair
Location: Ripley Grier Studios, 520 Eighth Avenue, 16th Floor, Room 16L, New York, NY 10018 Time: 6 – 9:30 p.m.
Price: $10 Members, $20 Non-Members
Description: “Race & Kelly from Art of Charm are our featured guest speakers on Sunday, February 8. Race & Kelly specialize in online pickup and we’ve had several requests from members to have them speak. So naturally, their topic this month is called, “Window Shopping For Women”. Why would you meet women online when you can meet women in person? We are not suggesting to meet women online INSTEAD of in person. However, why not use new tools to make what you are doing easier? Not only will you be meeting MORE women when you meet them online, you will also make it EASIER to meet women “in person”. Unlike in “real life”, when messaging a woman online you have time to think about what to say and how to respond. This completely reduces the anxiety of approaching an attractive woman the pressure of not knowing what to say. As you become more accustomed to successfully interacting with attractive women online in slow motion you begin to ingrain these habits into your subconscious and they become second nature. This allows you to become comfortable and competent at interacting with beautiful women in real time. In addition, there are more women online at any one time that at all the bars in your city combined. And since you decide on the criterion to search for it is like going to a bar that only lets in the exact type of women you are attracted to. How awesome is that!”

Thursday, February 12
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Location: TBD
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Friday, February 13
Title: Pre V-Day Sarge Outing
Host: NYC Wingmen
Location: TBD
Time: 9:30 p.m.
Description: “Finally, after a long winter hiatus, the Sarge Outings return! For the uninitiated this is an opportunity for you members to go out, have fun, meet new wings, try new strategies, and succeed all under the watchful eye of Assistant Organizers and mentors who will be there to critique and give feedback about your approaches. SPACE IS VERY LIMITED. I'll repeat that. SPACE IS VERY LIMITED. As such, I'll be opening up 6 spots for members. RSVP only if you absolutely know you'll be able to come out. The outing will be in Manhattan. Also, because of the extreme popularity of these outings those that RSVP for this outing will not be allowed to RSVP for the next. This includes instances where you RSVP and don't come along. This meetup will be targeted towards beginners and novices who wish to have initial approach, attract, and early closes critiqued. For those of you more advanced guys I encourage you to sign up as mentors, especially if you're looking for quality wings. The mentors I've worked with have all learned from myself, Art, and each other, and have seen great improvement of their game. They've also got a good pool of eligible wings in the process! Send me a message if you're interested in becoming a mentor. RSVP'S WILL OPEN ON FRIDAY, FEB 6 AT 12:00 PM NOON.”

Sunday, February 15
Title: Natural Game Seminar
Host: The Edge
Location: Pearl Studios NYC, 500 Eighth Avenue, 4th floor, RM 402, New York, NY
Time: 5 - 7 p.m.
Price: Free
Description: "This week I will be holding a Natural Game Seminar featuring some unexposed and talented PUA's in New York. The Seminar will be FREE, 2 hours long and followed by optional night game. The basis will be my own natural style, so expect some new ideas :-D Please email theedgemichael@gmail.com to confirm reservation."

Thursday, February 19
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Location: TBD
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Thursday, February 26
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Location: TBD
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Swinging: First Flakes & Future Dates

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:27:00 +0000

So we had two flakes this past weekend with single guys.
Some of you may be confused, as in, “Why are you meeting single guys?” confused, so let me explain.

This was basically my idea. With becoming involved with swinging I’m basically overcoming many hang-ups I have, and probably most guys have, when it comes to sex and people they are involved with. My Primary LTR will be sleeping with other guys when we swap with couples, so why not expand our sexual horizons further and try a MFM Threesome while we are at it. The whole way I look at all of this is that we only live life once, and I plan on milking life for everything it has. My Primary LTR is up for this, the next girl may not, that is if there is a next girl, you never know, but why not give it all a whirl with someone willing. There is a good chance all this can be very liberating and empowering.

Moving on to these two flakes. Apparently in the swinging world, a single guy will cancel for a variety of reasons. Some of those being: they are married even though they claimed to be singe and could not get away for the evening, got ‘cold feet’, are not who they said they were in the ad and are afraid that they would get found out, or ‘an unplanned event’ happened. The first guy for Friday claimed that our e-mail ended up in his spam folder somehow. The second guy did not respond to us at all until we texted him the day of asking if we were still on and several hours later (after we already made new plans with other people) he sent a response saying something work related came up. We have since moved on from these two.

Our first meetings are always Meet and Greets with no expectations. Meaning we just want to meet the couple or single person (m or f) and see if we have chemistry. It is like a date. If we like them, then the second interaction is when we plan on moving things forward. Perhaps the two nitwits above just wanted easy sex and moved on, but as a friend of ours who is a single guy swinger said, what single guy would pass up the opportunity to meet with a couple?

Anyway, moving on to our two future dates. We should be going out with two different couples this coming weekend. One is in their twenties, the other in their early thirties. Both are attractive and have been certified by other couples as being real :-) We’ll see how it goes.

Swinging: First Time Visiting an Off-Premises Club

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:35:00 +0000

When it comes to swinging clubs, there are two kinds. The below two definitions are based upon how these clubs function in New York. There may be slight differences elsewhere.

Off-Premises: These clubs serve generally serve alcohol and while those who frequent the clubs are encouraged to dress revealingly and naughty, nudity is not allowed and there is absolutely no sex allowed on the premises or even at times in the parking lot of the premises. These clubs are met for couples and singles to meet each other and then depart to a home or apartment or other location do get down and dirty with each other.
On-Premises: These clubs generally do not serve alcohol, but you can bring your own alcohol. At On-Premises clubs, there are specific locations in the club where sex and everything that leads up to it is allowed. There are private rooms, there are sometimes rooms where orgies happen, nudity is allowed, etc. Generally unescorted single men (if they are even allowed in the club in the first place) are not allowed in the areas where people play with each other.

So, keeping those two definitions in mind, last weekend my Primary LTR and I went to an Off-Premises Club here in New York. It was really overwhelming. I completely shut down. We didn’t interact with a soul. Okay, that isn’t exactly true. When we were leaving we chatted for a little while with the couple that owns and runs the place, but other than that, we just watched, drank, and danced a little, with each other. Everyone was having a lot of fun, there were very attractive people there.

One thing that is interesting is that one of the couples we did see (but did not interact with) messaged us on one of the online services we use and wants to meet up for some girl on girl action.

We are hoping that the next time we go to this specific club we will feel more comfortable and begin to mingle with other people there. As for visiting an On-Premise club, we will be doing that no matter what on Valentine’s day, but more on that later :-)

Swinging: Results of Our First Date with a Couple

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 04:19:00 +0000

This weekend was the first time my Primary LTR and I went on a date with another couple for the purpose of possibly swinging with each other – or put another way, of swapping partners.

We went to the couple’s house for dinner and spent the evening socializing with them over dinner, dessert, and drinks. It was a very interesting experience. Overall we had a good time, but not quite in the way we were hoping.

In general we enjoy sexually aggressive females and men (if they are not creepy), but this couple was far from that. Rather they acted like a lot of our vanilla friends.

Quick Side Note: The swinging community is very similar to the pickup community in many aspects, and one of those similarities is that it has its own jargon/terminology for things. A vanilla friend/person is someone who is not part of the swinging community.

So, basically it felt like we were hanging out with a regular couple. There was little to no sexual tension, flirting, or anything of that nature. The girl was extremely shy, which is likely the cause the lack of sexual tension. In many cases, females that swing are bi-sexual or bi-curious. This makes it very easy for things to move in a sexual direction since the females can hookup first and then the men can join in and then swapping can actually then begin to occur.

Because of her shyness, we felt that the sexual chemistry was lacking. In the end, nothing sexual did happen for those that are wondering.

If they want to hang out again with us, we will give it another go to see if perhaps their female half will open up a bit. Otherwise, most likely they will be relegated to the friend zone.

Swinging: First Date with a Couple Scheduled

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:08:00 +0000

My Primary LTR and I scheduled a date with a couple for this weekend. Our original plan was just to spend time with them and see if we have chemistry and not move to a sexual level on the first meeting. However, we are in agreement that we are willing to engage in sexual activities with that couple if the chemistry feels right.

Depending on how comfortable we feel we may engage in sex between my Primary LTR and myself in the same room as the other couple and not swap, or, we may Soft Swap which means we would swap partners and engage in sexual activity short of intercourse, or, if we feel the mood is right we may engage in a Full Swap which means we would swap partners and engage in full intercourse.

At the moment we have about a dozen or so couples that are interested in meeting us in the very near future. The only issue is that I live a very active life, from the numerous hobbies I engage in, to a very intense social life, so at most we can managae is a couple a week. Keeping that in mind, there should be plenty of updates on this aspect of my life and for the time being I will keep posting those adventures here on this blog.

Entering the World of Swinging

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:58:00 +0000

My Primary LTR and I watched a show together this past summer called Swing Town. The show was about a couple who upon moving to an upscale neighborhood discovered that their friendly neighbors were in fact swingers. This show led to a discussion of exploring the possibility of experimenting with swinging. In December we signed up for a swingers website and have since that time been in contact with about a dozen couples, one of which invited us to a New Year’s Eve Lifestyle party. We decided to go and it had to be the most exciting party that either of us had ever been to.

I share this new part of my life with my readers simply because I view pickup as not just improving your social skills with girls, but as a journey to improve yourself in all facets of life and to open yourself up to new experiences, and as a result of how I have changed since becoming involved in the pickup community, it is those very changes that has given me the confidence to experiment in this sort of way. I of course will still study community material and go out and meet single females for my own enjoyment, but I am debating whether to share my exploits in the world of swinging on this blog or create a separate one just for that purpose.

New York City PUA Events for January 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:27:00 +0000

I’m Back Guys

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 06:08:00 +0000

Hey guys, I know there has been a lack of posts throughout December. This site will be back to its normal regular posts in January. I’ve just been so busy with parties throughout December and finals for school that I haven’t focused at all on anything community related. I should have an events calendar of NYC PUA Events up in a couple of days and some updates on what I’ve been up to.

Mystery on Jimmy Kimmel

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 21:02:00 +0000

Mystery was recently on Jimmy Kimmel discussing the new season of The Pickup Artist. Below is the video:

Video: Two Love Systems Instructors Square Off On Keys to the VIP

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 15:46:00 +0000

Two Love Systems instructors, Steve "Sphinx" and Pierre "Biscuit", face off in a new episode of Keys to the VIP. Check it out.

Part 1 of 4

Part 2 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Part 4 of 4

Approach: House Girl Look-a-Like

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 00:13:00 +0000

Location

Long Island Bar

Description

Girl sits next to me in Bar Booth

Rating

6 – Attractive (View My Detailed Rating Scale)

Opener

“Have you ever seen the show House? ”

Transition

“How do you guys know each other?”

Kino

Light toughing several times during interaction

Close

None

Details & Dialogue

I want to preface this by stating that I was completely shit faced at this point in the evening. I just went out to have fun, not to approach girls. That being said, several friends and I went to a bar on Long Island and at one point in the night me and one of my friends sat down in a booth that was empty, except there were drinks all on the table, so I assumed at some point the drink’s owners would return.

I went to the bathroom and when I returned, sure enough there were new people in the booth. On one side was a couple and on the other was my friend all the way in the booth with a girl sitting next to that it appeared he was trying to interact with. I sat down right next to her and about a minute later I suppose the girl had enough of him and looked at me and told me she had to get out, so I let her out and my friend at that point decided to go buy some drinks. The girl that just rejected him reminded me of Cutty on the show House for some reason – basically a 20 something year old version of her.

Anyhow, she sat next to the couple and somehow or another a few seconds later she was sitting next to me. In my drunken state I don’t remember why she did this, but I decided to take it as an IOI (because why not) and said to her, “Have you ever seen the show House? ”

She said she watches it all the time and I told her that she reminds me of the woman who runs the hospital. She asked me if I was serious and I told her I definitely was and at this point, even though I was completely trashed, I’m pretty confident that I had hooked her. The only issue was that I botched it up right after. I asked her how she knew the couple, but at that point the couple were in their own little world and I should just have continued my interaction directly with her and made her qualify herself. She bailed a few seconds later and my friend returned with the drinks.

Conclusions and What I learned

It was just practice, even if I was inebriated.

Social Circle Game: Second Party of October

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:01:00 +0000

On Saturday I threw my second party of the month. Earlier this month I had my 26th Birthday Party celebration and this past Saturday I threw another UFC party. I basically have a UFC party every month, and the plan is to throw myself a birthday party every year and three “regular” house parties throughout the year and possibly other special events parties for holidays, etc. I also have a wide range of other events that I plan on throwing throughout the year. The next one up is a wings night taking place early in November followed by another UFC party mid-November.

What I Did New This Time

Shot Glass Checkers: I purchased plastic cheap plastic shot glasses (about 200) from a party store. Each side’s shot glasses were filled with a different flavor malt beverage (e.g., Mike’s Hard Lemonade). When you jump the other player’s piece, they need to drink that shot. If you queen (or is it king?) you then place one of the previously used shot glasses under the one that became a queen to distinguish that piece from the others. The loser has to drink all the remaining shots on the board.
Apples to Apples: This is a board game that one of the guests brought that I turned into a drinking game and have since purchased my own copy of the game to have at future parties. Each player is dealt seven "red apple" cards; on each is printed a noun or noun phrase (such as "Madonna", "Canada", "The Spanish Inquisition", etc.). The judge (a chosen player) draws a "green apple" card on which is printed an adjective ("scary", "frightening", "patriotic", etc.), and places it face-up on the table. From amongst their red-apple cards, each player (except the judge) chooses a card that they think is the best match for the green apple card, and places it face-down. The judge shuffles the red apple cards, reads them (often aloud), and decides which noun is the best match for the adjective. The player who submitted that red apple card wins the round, and takes the green apple card to signify the win. All players then draw red cards until they have seven again, and the role of "judge" may pass to another person (generally going to the next player in line, though some rules have the round's winner becoming "judge"). Basically what I did was to have whoever won the round take a shot. It became very fun very quickly.
Poker: At the suggestion of one the frequent guests to my parties, I purchased a poker set so guests can play poker w/ casino like chips if they like.
Signs: I placed signs around the apartment to make life slightly easier for the guests, displaying where the recycling garbage should go (cans and bottles) and where the regular garbage was.
Clean Up: I always clean the entire apartment before each party and immediately following each party. I now have an iRobot Roomba which is an automated vacuum that will clean the apartment for me. I have it automatically clean the apartment (floors and carpeting) Monday – Thursday and now I set it to clean immediately after the party while I work on putting away other things, etc.

Things I realized & Future Ideas

Bar Stools: I realized that while I can fit between 20-25 people in my apartment for a regular party, I am much more limited for the UFC parties because people would like to watch the fights on the TV and there isn’t enough room w/ all the chairs out. If I use Foldable Bar Stools, guests who sit on those stools will then be sitting higher than those in the regular fold out chairs and will be able to still see the screen, thus accommodating up to 15 guests who can all watch the fights.
Shot Raffle: I have decided to try a shot raffle during the next party. That means that I will have some kind of bowl, glass, bin, jar, etc. where everyone can place a paper with their name on it and every thirty minutes I will pull out a name and they have to do a shot. It seems like an easy way to keep the alcohol flowing freely.
Door Sign: I am still having issues with people paying the $5 admission. Everyone but two paid this last time. The parties are expensive to host and I really would like to have everyone pay without bringing it up to them, it just makes it awkward when I have to do that. I am planning on putting a sign on the door right below the door bell explaining that admission is 5 and a six pack of beer per person and that the fee jar is on the first end table in the living room.
An Efficient Guest List System: I have been organizing spread sheets for each type of event and keep track of who comes, who misbehaves when they do come, who says they are coming and then flakes, and who just does not respond to invites or expresses no interest in attending. This will allow me to better focus my invites on people I know are really interested in attending and will actually attend.

Conclusions

It is very interesting that with every party and event I host I learn new things from and come up with ideas to improve the experience for both the guests and myself as host.