A Journey to Social Mastery

Throwing My First BBQ

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 16:33:00 +0000

One of the core strategies I employ to increase my social circle, be a leader in my social circle and to have an interesting lifestyle is to throw events.

I have become extremely proficient with throwing large scale house parties, averaging between 30 and 50 guests. I have been contemplating throwing a BBQ on such a scale, but with a hired chef and bartender. I decided to throw a small BBQ (ten guests) as a trial run, without hired help, to see if (1) I enjoy throwing BBQs for friends, (2) What the costs will be, and (3) Figure out the logistics of throwing one.

I will be serving chips, baby back ribs, hot dogs and hamburgers, plus frozen margaritas and daiquiris, dessert. On food alone I spent approximately two hundred for an expected ten guests, though at the time of this writing it may end up being only seven total.

Even though having guests bring food would cut costs, I do not like the concept of having guests bring food items for the simple fact that people are unreliable. There is always a significant chance that several, if not more, guests will cancel, flake or arrive late.

Some re-usable items for the party that I purchased were:

(1) 20’ x 10’ Tent: $280.00

(2) Cooler: $70.00

(3) Margaritaville Fiji Frozen Concoction Maker: $349.00

(4) 6’ Folding Banquet Tables x 3: $210.00

Total Cost of Reusable Items: $839.00

As obvious from above I enjoy going all out. It is my belief that if you are going to throw a party, it should be of such caliber that any other party/bbq/dinner party/event that an attendee has been to before would pale in comparison. Put another way, if you are going to do something, do it right.

I put this entire thing together last minute, on a Tuesday, with the bbq being in a few hours through txt messages. Typically I use Facebook’s event feature to organize events, which I will do for future bbqs.

I set the BBQ to start at 3 p.m., with the ribs already on the grill at noon since they take four hours to cook. This will be the time I serve chips, dip and frozen margaritas and daiquiris. I’ve never been to a party where frozen drinks were served. I’ve been to parties and bbqs however that had non-frozen margaritas…icky. I have plenty of beer from my last large scale party a few weeks ago. From 4:30 to 5 p.m. I will serve the ribs, hot dogs and hamburgers. At 6 p.m. I will serve dessert which I purchased a large red velvet cake and a large apple pie. I expect the whole event to be over between 8 and 9 p.m.

I will provide an additional update a week from now on how the above plan unfolded.

A New Direction for this Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 03:11:00 +0000

It has been over a year since I've updated this blog. The reason for this is that my focus has shifted. Over the last four years my outlook has evolved from the traditional pickup mindset of night/day cold approaches on girls to building a massive social circle through developing an attractive and exciting lifestyle. After some thought on the matter I have decided to retool this blog to better represent how I now life my life. Gone will be field reports, lay reports, and the like and more posts on how to improve your lifestyle and live an attractive life. The PUA community still has a place in my life and I believe that every man should learn the techniques and philosophies of the community, but this blog is more geared for those that have already went out and done their approaches, know how to build attraction and rapport with the opposite sex and close them. It is for those looking for how to incorporate that aspect of their life into bettering their life as a whole.

Approach: Stephanie

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 21 May 2011 12:00:00 +0000

It was around midday during the week a couple of weeks ago when I sat down in the enclosed waiting area on one of the Long Island Rail Road platforms to wait for my train. An attractive blond sat down two seats down from me and began playing with her kindle or nook. I was enjoying my apple and was waiting to finish before I opened. By the time I was done I realized that she was playing some sort of game on the thing, which I had no idea you could even do, so I opened with, “Playing anything good?” as opposed to, “Reading anything good?”

The girl lit up instantly. I firmly believe, especially once you are out of the early morning hours, that most people are simply bored and starting a conversation with a girl will typically brighten their day as long as you do not come off as creepy or needy.

We discussed the game a bit, I asked to see the thing, fiddled with it for a moment and then handed it back to her telling her that it was neat. I transitioned into a conversation about books. It seemed natural considering we began with a game on her nook (we will just assume it is a nook).

She asked me my name, I asked her hers and then I asked her about the case she had with her that looked like it contained a musical instrument. Most of my transitions will come from observations or a natural offshoot of whatever topic we are discussing. This makes the conversation flow naturally rather than come off like an interview. Of course I do have quite a few defaults I fall back on if the conversation feels like it is losing energy or stalling.

It turned out she was a music therapist and worked at several different locations and was in the process of heading from one location to another which was why she was waiting for the train (which was a different train than I was waiting for).

The conversation was moving at full speed when her train showed up. She got up to go and hesitated which indicated to me she wanted me to number close, but I actually didn’t want to. I already have a girlfriend and this girl gave off super girlfriend type vibe…not the sort of girl you can bring to a bar for a couple of drinks and then sleep with, which is all I’m looking for. I let her go.

While out that Friday night I see I have a new friend request notification on my phone on Facebook. I take a look and I see the name Stephanie and I’m thinking, who the hell is Stephanie, must be spam. On Saturday when I actually take the time to look at it, it was the same girl. If a girl friend requests you on a Friday or Saturday night that is a major indicator of interest. That means she was either hanging out with her girlfriends talking about you and they decided to look you up and friend you or she was sitting there all by herself thinking about you with nothing to do on a key night to be going out.

I wait a few days before I accept the request, a little puzzled as to how this girl even found me. All she knew was my first name, that I was an Attorney and possibly the town I lived in. I probably asked hers when I was prescreening logistics.

The following exchange occurred via Facebook messaging:

Me: I knew you said you were a music therapist but you never told me you were an internet sleuth ;-) How in the world di you find me…or is that a trade secret?

Her: Haha well you know I can’t give all my secrets away….I thought our conversation was cut off too soon so I figured there must be a way to find you! Hows that reading going?

Me: Well after taking the trouble to find me I should disappoint. Do you have any plans for next Friday? We can meet for drinks and continue where we left off :-)

Her: Well that sounds like a Fabulous idea! I’d love to :-)

Me: Choose a place that you like somewhere near you and we’ll go there :-) What is your cell phone number?

Her: [She gives her number]

A few things are happening here. Even though I mentioned she gave off the girlfriend type vibe, I figure she is seriously interest in me, might as well just follow through and see what happens. I have my girlfriend staying with me and threesomes will typically happen AFTER you have had sex with the new girl and you’ve prescreened an openness of the idea with her. Obviously at this point I’ve done neither, so the simple plan was to have her choose a place she felt comfortable with by her. Meeting for drinks and seeing if I couldn’t venue change back to her place.

Sometime after I got her cell number I txted her asking what place she choose. Then I got absolutely no response until Thursday. I knew at this point something happened. You don’t go responding almost instantly to my messages to waiting a couple of days to respond.

Apparently she had spent that time Facebook stalking me and came to the conclusion that it looked like I may have a girlfriend. This is why being friends on Facebook with a girl you haven’t slept with is a big negative. Sleep with her first.

She texted me and told me it looked like I had a girlfriend and if that was the case she wouldn’t want to get involved with that.

I was upfront. I told her that I was seeing someone and that it was complicated, but we shouldn’t get together if it made her uncomfortable with hanging out with me.

She actually didn’t respond at that point, and I didn’t think she would. She has commented on a few Facebook posts since then and I on hers, but in the end the fact that I was in a relationship killed this one.

But just as a side note, I love situation openers, they work consistently and can be used anywhere.

What are you reading?/Reading anything good?

What are you playing?/Playing anything good/fun?

Ask about something interesting they are wearing or have with them

Comment on something in your common environment

And so on.

They work great on stationary targets. Moving targets it is better in my opinion to just go direct and get out asap after you have closed, but if they aren’t going anywhere immediately you are better off just coming off as a nice sociable guy than laying out all your cards on the table with a direct approach, because if you aren’t calibrated correctly with the direct approach you are done.

Link Clean Up

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 14 May 2011 17:47:00 +0000

I've gone through all the links on the left hand side of the page and removed almost all of them that were outdated. There were a couple on the forums list that weren't working that will be removed in a couple of weeks if that remains the case. If you feel a blog or forum should be listed let me know.

Also, does anyone know what happened to the Real Assanova's blog? It now goes directly to some unrelated website.

New Years Eve Threesome

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 13:00:00 +0000

For New Years Eve we went to a friend's house party on Long Island. This was a non-swinger party. Our friend's home is a very large five bedroom house on the water. At the last minute we invited a female friend of ours to join us. I knew before hand that she was attracted to girls and she was completely aware that my girlfriend and I are swingers. My hope was that we could end up in a threesome situation, but logistically speaking things did not fall into place the way I had hoped.

My goal was to have her, Lisa, a cute Ukrainian girl, come to our apartment and then the three of us would go together to the party which was 45 minutes away. This would allow Lisa to drink freely since she would not have to worry about driving and also force her to come back to our place before heading home. Instead she was held up at work and had to meet us at the party. As a result I thought she would be a conservative drinker, especially since she is a lightweight to begin with and wouldn't let loose and have a great time.

That assumption was totally off base. Throughout the night she matched drink for drink with my girlfriend and I and was flirting with the both of us throughout the night. However, at some point she took a liking to a Single Guy at the party, Jude, and began spending a significant amount of time with him. They danced, snuggled up with each other on a couch, and even kissed.

Sometime around 1 a.m. I noticed she was no longer in the house. She was outside with Jude as people were trying to figure out the complex parking situation to get out of the driveway and leave. Apparently Jude first asked her if she would like to go up to one of the bedrooms. She said no. Then he asked her if she wanted to go back home with him. She said no again. Finally he asked if she wanted to go back to her place with him and she said no. He left without asking her for her number at that point.

Back into the house she came, quite a bit disappointed. However, she was back to drinking and flirting with my girlfriend and I.

If a girl is turned on by one person, that physical/emotional state is not localized to just the person who turned her on. If that person is no longer present, that physical/emotional state can be maintained and taken advantage of by another person who can continue to escalate physically and emotionally with the girl. In addition, if a girl's self-esteem has just taken a hit because she felt rejection by someone, she may seek validation from someone else by being receptive to their sexual advances.

The three of us went upstairs to the bedrooms to look for a free room to have fun. Lisa just let us lead the way and didn't actually ask why we were heading to a bedroom. However, all the damn bedrooms had people in them taking naps except the master bedroom. In addition, we caught a straggler, the host, our friend, Chris.

Chris knows we are swingers and must have assumed we were about to have a threesome and instead of just letting us have our fun seemed to be attempting to get in on the action. He tried to get us all to go into the master bedroom with him, but neither my girlfriend, nor Lisa had any interest in such a scenario. He was without realizing it, being a massive cockblock.

I had to think very quickly so I said to the three of them (my girlfriend, Lisa, and Chris) that we should all go back down. Once downstairs, we all ended up on a couch. I whispered to my girlfriend to take Lisa back up to the master bedroom, which she did. I chatted with Chris for a few minutes and then told him I would be right back and I went up an alternate staircase to get to the bedrooms. I tried to lock the master bedroom door behind me, but it just would not lock. I decided to just say fuck it and closed the door and hoped into bed with my girlfriend and Lisa.

My girlfriend and Lisa began making out and I started going down on Lisa when all of a sudden I heard someone come into the room. I look up and I see Mitchell, one of the partygoers, walking up to the bed. I look at him and say, “Get out” as I pointed to the door, followed by, “And don't tell anyone what we are doing.” He looked at me blankly for a moment and then turned around and left. I proceeded to go back down on Lisa again when a couple of minutes later the door opens again.

This time about ten people come into the room including one girl who jumps on the bed. Mitchell apparently thought it was funny to crash our fun. And I thought Chris was being a cockblock. Such behavior could easily end a threesome or even regular sex between two people. Anyhow, I squeezed the girl's boobs that jumped onto the bed and told her to either join in or get out. She actually looked like she was considering it when I just had enough of all the gawkers and told them to all get out, which thankfully they promptly did.

Once out I began going down on Lisa for a third and final time. I then put on a condom and entered her missionary and the threesome continued without a hitch. Thankfully we weren't bothered for the rest of the night.

It was a pretty good start to the New Year ;-)

Threesome: Emma & J

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 16:00:00 +0000

My girlfriend and I went to a party in the Hamptons back in August. We were hanging out by the pool when I saw this cute, blonde, Eastern European girl walking by in a towel. She had on a green bracelet that was glowing. As she passed by us I smiled at her and told her she was glowing. This stopped her and she came over to us to chat. We flirted a bit and I asked her if she wanted to join us in the hot tub and she said yes. My girlfriend, J, and Emma went into the hot tub and I went to go use the restroom. When I came back the two of them were flirting with each other a lot. I joined in, began applying kino and flirting some more. At some point we asked her if she wanted to head to one of the bedrooms with us and though a bit hesitant she came with us.

It isn’t like I said we were going to have a threesome so when we got there I wasn’t exactly sure if she knew where this was going. My girlfriend and her began making out and clothes started coming off, and my goal in these situations is to basically get it in as soon as possible before the girl backs out. You never know when a girl is going to get weird. Emma was lying on her back and my girlfriend sat on Emma’s face to be eaten out. I basically went down on Emma for about a minute to make sure she got a little turned on, slapped on a condom and entered her missionary. From there I knew there wouldn’t be any problems. That is the hardest part. There were no issues, no last minute resistance, though she probably wouldn’t have been able to voice an objection considering she had her mouth full.

From there we played for about an hour, with us switching to different positions and having sex with both of them. Emma wanted to go for a round two but I was pretty shot after that. We’ve kept in touch since then but haven’t scheduled a repeat as of yet.

Love Systems on ABC's Nightline

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 03:06:00 +0000

Love Systems was featured on ABC's Nightline this week. Below is a video of the segment:

About Me (Yummy Stale Bread)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 00:10:00 +0000

How I Got Started in the Community

My journey began in 2004. I stumbled upon an article in the New York Times by Neil Strauss which discussed the community. After a follow-up search on the internet I landed on the Fast Seduction website. I browsed the site, but came away from it highly skeptical, and I had not returned to it until a couple of years later after reading the Game. I had seen the book on the bookshelves and more or less rolled my eyes and went on my way, but it kept calling out to me. Eventually I decided to read it and from there I moved onto the Venusian Arts Handbook. I have been consuming community products ever since and expanding and improving my knowledge and practical abilities with women in the process.

This Blog

In 2007 I decided to begin my own blog to chronicle my journey. At that point in time I would say that my knowledge of pickup was very solid. I began sometime mid 2007 compiling my own handbook detailing all my knowledge on the subject, which has since expanded to include other socially related topics as well. It is still being updated regularly and is now hundreds of pages and very detailed, covering every aspect of seduction. I am at the point where I am trying to translate all that knowledge into consistent success.

My System of Seduction

I believe that everyone that strives to become successful in seduction eventually develops their own system. This system will be unique to them and may incorporate significant portions of material from other systems. I used Mystery’s M3 Model as a foundation and incorporated numerous concepts, advice, and practical techniques from a very large number of figures in the community. Other than Mystery, I have been most heavily influenced by Mehow, Pickup 101, Juggler Method (Charisma Arts), Love Systems, David Wygant, and Real Social Dynamics. This strategy has been very effective and I have come a long way on my journey to social mastery.

About My Success

I would have to say that as a result of the community my lifestyle pre-community was not even recognizable to what it has become. I have created a lifestyle where many of the females in my life know I have an open relationship, I love to have fun, and where I have become a leader in my social circle by hosting parties monthly. This has made it much easier to be intimiate with girl's I incorporate into my social circle. I keep track of the number of girls I have been intimate with and keep a tally on the main page of this site. These lays come from a combination of (1) Girl's I have incorporated into my social circle, (2) Girl's I have cold approached, and (3) From Swinging with my girlfriend. The majority of my lays come from the third category and I've created a completely seperate blog detailing my adventures in swinging and as a result, those experences are seldom shared on this website.

Lay Report: Cristine

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 20:26:00 +0000

On Friday night I went out with a friend who I have known since College. She was newly single and wanted to go out and have fun. In the past I’ve tried to have a threesome with her but things never progressed to that point, though we remained friends. Periodically she would give strong indications that she was interested in sleeping with me.

She is Chinese and comes from a traditional Chinese background which means casual sex with such a girl is a bit different from how typical seductions would go if say you were attempting to sleep with a typical white American girl. I made the mistake a few weeks earlier at a party she threw of being my usual sexually confident self which turned off her traditional Asian friends immediately. Apparently one of the worst things to occur in the Asian culture is to lose face among friends and since her friends disapproved of me I decided to interact with Cristine much differently than on past occasions when we went out on Friday.

I decided instead of being my overly sexual self I would tone done my behavior dramatically. I decided I wouldn’t talk about sex, girls, no sexual kino, no overt flirting. Just be cool, laid back, do light kino and have fun over drinks.

When we originally made plans I gave her a compliance test. I told her that I wanted her not to look like she just rolled out of work after a long day in the office. She told me should would shower and put makeup on and I told her I expected her to dress nice as well. She told me should wear a nice dress. I like girls that try to look good. I hate when girls don’t respect themselves enough to look decent.

When I got to her place she was wearing a nice dress and shoes and all done up. We were off to a good start. I went in to use the bathroom and then asked her if she minded that I left my keys in her place so I didn’t have to carry them to the bar with me. This gives me a legitimate reason to HAVE to return to her apartment after the bar.

We walked to a bar that was about a ten minute walk away and the entire time she was asking me about my adventures in swinging (she knows about that aspect of my life). There was really no changing the topic with her, she had lots of questions. When we got to the bar we ordered a couple of drinks and hung out by the bar.

I decided to get first round. Offering to buy the first round makes you look generous but at the same time you are actually not spending any money on the girl because she is paying for the next round. After that, since people finish drinks at different speeds you can just buy your own drink when yours runs out and she can do the same for herself.

While we drank and had a good time I made sure I locked myself in by leaning back against the bar and having her face me. At some point we danced. A couple of times she made comments along the lines of how good of a friend I was and without any legitimate reason to do so that we would never sleep with each other. I have not at any point told this girl I wanted to sleep with her. I’ve always told her the door is open if she would like to have a threesome with my girlfriend and I, but never that I wanted to or intended to sleep with her. By her bringing it up, especially more than once, that told me she had sex on her mind (not that it wasn’t obvious from the topics of conversation she chose), but more significant, was that she had sex with me on her mind. If a girl says the two of you are not going to have sex and she is the one that brought it up, then more than likely the two of you are going to have sex.

She would keep asking me if I thought this girl or that girl was attractive and what kinds of girls I’ve slept with (ethnicities) and were there differences between them. At some point I laid a foundation for having no strings attached sex. I told her I do not get emotionally attached to people I sleep with and if I do become involved with a friend I would only sleep with them once or a month or so and not make it a regular thing but that sex among friends is nothing more that sharing a fun intimate experience with each other.

Many Asians have trouble processing alcohol and as a result cannot have a lot to drink. After two drinks Cristine was drunk, though in a good way and not in the sloppy sort, and told me she wanted to head back to her place. We left the bar and held hands on the way back to her apartment. Once there she asked me if I would like anything else to drink and I ended up having a shot of Jager.

We went to the couch and I put my arm around her. She was talking, though I cannot remember about what. I started feeling her up a little and then started making out with her. I told her we should go to the bed and took her by the hand and led her there. She asked me if I had condoms and I said of course. She stopped for a moment and asked if I knew we were going to sleep with each other and I told her that I always carry condoms with me when I go out and I had no idea. She expressed surprise that I didn’t know. The truth is that I did know, but girls want to feel that sex is spontaneous and exciting, not planned out. It has to feel as though it just happened.

I started taking off her clothes and mine and making out with her on the bed. There was a slight amount of verbal last minute resistance with her asking if we should really do this. I told her it felt right. She didn’t protest and I worked my way down her body and went down on her. As I was going down on her I slipped a condom on and as I came back up I started making out with her and slid my cock into her pussy. I actually came pretty quickly, which is a shame. I never quite understand why one night like Friday night I cum after a couple of minutes and on say for instance the next night where I fucked a really fun girl from Argentina that I could pound away at her for twenty or so minutes without an issue. But back to Friday night. I decided to go back down on her to give me time to recover. After a few minutes she said she had to pee and when she came back I went as well. I came back and she was passed out on the bed. I laid down next to her for a little while, got bored and decided that since I had a hard on again I would go for round two. This time I was pounding away at her and she told me to fuck her harder and then I noticed she was bleeding. I did kind of get turned off by that so I let myself cum and when I did so she said to me that I wasn’t even hard anymore. I told her of course not, I just came, and that she was bleeding. She did warn me that if I fucked her very hard she might bleed, but I didn’t think that would really happen. Anyway, she seemed exhausted after that. I got dressed, wished her a good night and headed out.

Threesome: Elisa & J

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 02:44:00 +0000

I had a threesome this past Saturday night. Elisa was a girl I slept with a few times about a year ago. I ended things with her but she has been exchanging text messages with me since that time. She asked to attend my most recent party (which was this past Saturday) so she could relieve some stress from breaking up with her boyfriend. This was a VERY simple threesome to setup. I asked her if she planned on crashing at my place. She said yes. I knew I didn’t have to worry about her going anywhere after the party. The party ran late and she fell asleep on the couch. I told J, my girlfriend, to bring her into the bedroom. After the last of the guests left I went to the bedroom and got right down to business. Basically I knew Elisa wanted to reinitiate sexual relations with me for the past year. She knew that the only way that was going to happen was via a threesome. Once she asked to attend my party I knew it was a done deal. The threesome itself was pretty fun. Elisa was extremely shy, my girlfriend of course is not (from all the swinging we’ve been engaging in). I went like a marathon man between the two of them for about an hour. Will we do it again? Not sure. Elisa has been messaging me during the week and I know she wants to see me again. Will keep you posted.

Review of RSD's Free May 6th Seminar

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Wed, 12 May 2010 00:13:00 +0000

Last thursday, May 6th, I attended the Free Real Social Dynamics seminar held in New York City. Overall it was pretty interesting. Tyler is an excellent public speaker and is quite funny. He went over some key concepts to game and also introduced us to a couple of in-field videos of him in action. They were offering an 8 hour seminar featuring many many more in-field videos called Hot Seat that weekend for a very reasonble fee but I chose to pass since it would occur in the same location and after sitting there for three hours for the free seminar my back was killing me, I couldn't even begin to imagine what 8 hours would feel like. This was the second free seminar I've attended from RSD. At this point I would definitely recommend attending one of these types of seminars if they are ever passing through your city.

I’ve Met a Fake PUA “Guru”

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sun, 02 May 2010 15:00:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy, L, at a party who is heavily into online product marketing. He has been reading books and will be going to a seminar on it. He basically creates websites that offers free “reports” if you subscribe to his newsletter with the intention of releasing a product down the line and offering it to his newsletter subscribers or promoting the products of others and receiving compensation through affiliate links. Now this should sound familiar because a lot of PUA “Gurus” do this. HOWEVER, I was fascinated to learn one of these websites he started had been a pickup website.

I played dumb and he explained to me that there is a very popular niche market that is potentially profitable and he originally planned to attract subscribers to his newsletter with the hopes of creating his own product but he decided not to pursue it ultimately because the market is very competitive. Yea, no shit. It is competitive with people that are actually PUAs who offer real products of value, bootcamps, seminars, and infield videos of their abilities, not wannabes that really have no real value to offer in exchange for cold hard cash – those people disappear like L has, but sometimes not before they take some poor smuck’s money. It takes countless hours of building the knowledge base and then the practical expertise to be consistently successful with women and I found it not only amusing but a little pathetic when I see someone clearly knows such a community with a wealth of knowledge exists and instead of really learning from it and offering real value he is trying to exploit it instead. Very sad.

Art M. Day Game Seminar on Wed May 12th in NYC

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 01 May 2010 15:00:00 +0000

The NYC Inside Out Social Dynamics Group is hosting a Seminar titled "Art M - Day Game Revealed" on Wednesday, May 12th at 7:15 p.m. at Ripley Grier Studios, 520 Eighth Ave (36 & 37 St), New York, NY 10018, Studio 16D. I have been to one of Art's seminars before and enjoyed it. Price of admission is $15 if you pre-pay, $20 at the door.

Below is the Description:

Art M. of New York Dating Coach [www.newyorkdatingcoach.com] will be speaking to our group about his specialty - Day Game.

Some little known facts about Art, that are both obvious and not:

- Art is a partner and head coach at New York Dating Coach. The company has been around for a little over 5 years, which is quite an accomplishment considering how competitive this "industry" is

- Art's colleagues at New York Dating Coach comprise an "ensemble" cast of specialists that work together to serve almost all the needs of his clients [including night game, fashion/style, improv comedy, wing woman services]

- Art is an accomplished master in the Russian martial art Systema, which is taught to the Russian elite special forces [behind his good guy smile and suave demeanor is a guy that can really watch your back and literally take out the AMOG's - lol]

Some of the takeaways you can expect from Art's presentation:

- Signal Awareness in day time. Signals will tell you the story of what will happen next

- Subway game. Day time subway approach break down. Arthur is know for taking a phone number in just few sub way stops. Learn how you can do that ...

- Logistics. In day game logistic will make or break your set. Be wise about it

- Date Flow. One of the most ignored parts in process of pick up, the flow of the date. Do you know flow of your dates? Hear what you are missing in your dating life.

***

Arthur is known as a day time meeting and dating master. His book Park Bench Dating was the first book in the dating world that focused exclusively on meeting and socializing in day time. Released in 2006, Park Bench Dating has received critical acclaim from media and readers. Arthur is well known in the USA and abroad -- his latest appearances covering the psychology of dating were featured on a national morning show in Japan and in the Herald Tribune.

"Everything starts from your mind. If you are a nice guy you have a nice guy's mindset which acts as a barrier and limits what you think is possible. Once that barrier is shattered, the way you think changes, the way you carry yourself changes, how you talk changes, and meeting and dating women becomes natural."

- Arthur Malov

Arthur's insight into day game and the psychology of dating is profound. He has coached men who went on to be Mystery Method instructors and helped men have transformational success in their dating life and be able to enjoy their love life. He has been featured in The New York Times, Time Out New York, Learning Annex, Russia Today TV, and has appeared on several TV and radio shows in the USA and internationally.

***

If Day Game is something on your agenda of things to tackle during 2010 and beyong, you want to be at this presentation.

So, RSVP yes now, and make your $15.oo payment via Paypal [any credit card will do, you do not need a PayPal account to make payment] to secure your seat. $20.oo at the door if seats available.

As usual, I will refund you money if you don't think you got at least 10 times the value of your payment.

We will be going out after this meeting, so even if you don't cannot make the meeting portion, show up at 9:15 to meet up with your wingman.

Cheers,

Philip

p.s. - take massive action ...

Real Social Dynamics Free Seminar May 6th in NYC

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Sat, 01 May 2010 01:06:00 +0000

On Thursday, May 6th in New York City, Tyler Durden of Real Social Dynamics will be doing a FREE seminar. I will be attending. Go to http://rsdfreetour.com/ for more information :-)

Where Have I Been? Fucking A Lot of Hot Girls of Course

noreply@blogger.com (Yummy Stale Bread) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 23:16:00 +0000

Why no lay reports then you ask? There are…just not on this blog. I have become crazy involved in swinging. And as a result I decide to create a completely independent blog where both myself and my girlfriend blog about our experience, dish out advice, etc. Basically the same thing I do on this blog except in the context of swinging.

Almost every weekend my girlfriend and I go out to different swingers parties and just have lots of raunchy sex with very attractive people.

You may ask what any of this has to do with pickup, but the truth is that everything you learn in the community applies to all areas of social life. To swap with a couple or play with a single girl at one of these parties you still need to be able to approach, open, build attraction and rapport and close. The only difference is that most of the people at these parties are ready to close if you get through attraction and rapport.

So where does this leave me, the community, and this blog?

I plan on continuing this blog, but while I still go to a ton of parties, throw my own once a month, and talk with pretty girls I see throughout my day, I haven’t focused on going out and sleeping with those girls simply because I know that on any Saturday night I can go to one of these swingers parties and KNOW with absolute certainty that because both my girlfriend and I are attractive and I know how to succeed with women (thank you pickup community) I am going to get laid and the only thing I had to pay for was gas to get to the party.

Of course if I do decide to play with regular non swinging girls I will most likely post a report on her to share my experiences and I will attempt to write some more guides and the like :-)

New York City PUA Events for January 2010

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 20:53:00 +0000

In an effort to keep my readers and myself better informed on the different community events occurring in New York City each month I post a calendar at the beginning of each month listing all upcoming events I am aware of. New York City is a place that has several different community groups and there is no reason to learn pickup on your own if you do not want to. If I have a missed an event that you feel should be listed please do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Thursday, January 7th
Title: Sarge NYC Meetup
Host: Sarge NYC
Location: Beauty Bar, 231 E 14th Street, New York, NY 10011
Time: 9:00 p.m.

Saturday, January 9th
Title: Style Make, Night Game, Day Game and Dating Mindset
Host: NYC Wingmen
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 Eighth Avenue, New York, NY 10011, 6th Floor, Room 16J
Time: 7:00 p.m.
Cost: $10
Description: “Welcome to New Year. We have decided to start it off with a Bang by featuring two speakers at our first meeting. Our first meeting will be about Image and Style, Night Game, Day Game, Inner game. The first speaker will be David Dupree. Natural extraordinaire, he has numerous TV appearances as a night game dating coach. He is also one of the main coaches in a pick up reality show that is slated to be released soon. David has dated actresses, models, wealthy women and debutantes in several countries and several languages. Let him tell you about his recent trip to Paris where a lightning fast pickup led to him singing on stage at one of Paris' most famous Jazz clubs. The man who developed the 'put-a-quarter-in-the-machine' method known as "Entourage Game" and an expert in the least discussed but most necessary social skill, David will explain HOW to develop, or improve, conversational ability. " Small talk must be learned, and CAN be learned. If you are not flirting and socializing when you should, you are missing out not only on your dating life but also on your social life." -David Dupree David is one of the top night game naturals in New York. Natural style in night game is about conveying your passions and personality and the way David does this without routines is amazing to watch. He has developed businesses in fashion and has a great sense of style for men who want to improve their image to get higher quality women and he will share his views at the meeting. * The right way to demonstrate value. (hint: Picasso should never say he's a painter.) * How women view you based on your style (Dressing well is not the point) Our second speaker will be our very own Organizer, Arthur Malov. He is known as a day game master. His book Park Bench Dating was the first book in the PUA community that focused exclusively on day game. Released in 2006, Park Bench Dating has received critical acclaims from the media and from readers. Arthur is well known in the USA and abroad -- his latest appearances covering the psychology of dating have been on a national morning show in Japan and the national Japanese magazine Aera. Arthur's insight into day game and the psychology of dating is profound. He has coached men who went on to be Mystery Method instructors and men who had transformational success in their dating life and just enjoyed their love life. He has been featured in The New York Times, Time Out New York, Learning Annex, Russia Today TV, and has appeared on TV and radio shows in the USA and internationally. “

Sunday, January 10th
Title: AFC Adam Lyons # 1 PUA
Host: Pickup Artist Events
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 520 Eight Avenue, New York, NY 10011
Time: 6:00 – 9:00 p.m.
Price: $19
Description: “Voted least likely to ever get a girlfriend at school, a love for dungeons and dragons, and an addiction to video games Adam appeared destined to be a loser forever. That was until he began learning the secrets of the game. Within a few years he rose rapidly amongst the ranks of the worlds pick up artists to be recognized as one of the top pick up artists in the world. Adam most recently was chosen as the #1 Pickup Artist in the world by a respected authority. Everyone who meets Adam is thrilled by his speeches and personality, so don't miss this opportunity to see him live in his first ever meetup appearance in New York City.”

I Watched My First Live Gang Bang

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:59:00 +0000

I went to one of the three on-premise swingers club on Long Island last night (Wednesday) with my PLTR. It was a couples and singles night. The location we were going to was being run by new hosts and the setup was different from the last time we had gone so we decided to go on a night where couples were free to see how it was. Apparently at the last minute a few women had contacted the hosts to arrange a few gangbangs because they wanted to experience having several men at once for the first time.

The woman we watched was an attractive woman that looked to be in her late thirties/early forties. Apparently her only rule was not to pull her hair. Other than that, she would do vaginal, anal, and oral and with oral she did not require a condom but actually encouraged the guys to cum in her mouth and on her face. She chose to have the gangbang in what is called “the Fantasy Room” which is a room with a king sized bed with one of the walls lined with windows. On the other side of the windows is a small dark viewing room where voyeurs can watch the action going on in the Fantasy Room. We went to this room to watch. The windows are literally touching the end of the bed so anyone watching is basically a mere foot or two from the action.

The entire gangbang lasted about two hours. First she had the men all line up and she did a visual inspection of about a dozen guys to determine if they had any visible signs of STDs. They all then proceeded to get undressed and go at it. The activity generally consisted of her blowing between one to two guys at once while a third was having intercourse with her or going down on her.

One bizarre twist was that a woman that appeared to be in her sixties, perhaps even seventies had asked to join the woman in the gangbang under the assumption that she would only participate with the main woman who organized the gangbang. Instead what ended up happening is that while most of the guys tried to focus on the attractive woman, some of the men decided that if the main woman was occupied they would be blown by the older lady. Some of the men even went down on her, and others had sex with her. It was quite an interesting but odd sight.

It was interesting watching the group dynamic in the room and how then men behaved. Quite a few of them had erection difficulties and many were just not aggressive enough. Those that took the initiative had the fun, those that didn’t expended a lot of their energy just stroking themselves hoping to be ready when their time came only to wear themselves out and not be able to perform when the moment of truth arrived.

It was all very interesting to watch, but there were a few issues I personally had with the whole gangbang.

The first is that she did not know these men beforehand. At the very least I think she should have required all participants to have had an STD test within the last month with a printed out copy and confirm the name on the test result matches the person’s drivers license. Second I would have gotten to know the guys beforehand. This would allow her to ask them questions about their sexual history that may be relevant. Third, she could have done way better than these guys. Most of them were not very appealing. She could have easily spent more time arranging the entire event and had more attractive men participate. Fourth and lastly, the entire gangbang had HORRIBLE logistics. Two of the guys occupied her way too much. One looked like he seemed to have downed a whole bottle of Viagra because I’ve never seen anyone go at a pace like him without losing an erection for two hours straight and the second one would not stop eating out the woman when he wasn’t fucking her. This didn’t allow the other men to participate and made the whole gangbang much less interesting than it could have been.

As far as me ever participating in a gangbang, I’m doubtful I would. I think safe sex is extremely important and this was anything but. A visual inspection does not protect from a variety of STDs, including HIV and as a result it was dangerous for everyone who participated. For me to engage in such activity, everyone would need to have been heavily pre-screened beforehand.

Maintaining and Building Value on Facebook (v. 1.0)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:33:00 +0000

Introduction

Whether you use Facebook for social networking, business networking, or just for fun, your value is either raised or lowered based upon your actions on the site, how you interact with others, and how they interact with you. Studies have shown that Facebook generally accurately represents a person’s persona because it is generally difficult to fake friend lists and control who posts things on your wall. You can give people in your life the impression you go out a lot, that you know lots of cool and interesting people, but the truth of the matter is, if that is not reflected on your Facebook profile, then you will come off as inconsistent and your value will be lowered. You can’t fake going out a lot when there is no one tagging you on Facebook in photos depicting your lifestyle. The simplest way to increase your value is to live a cool and interesting life. Aside from that however, there are some strategies one can employ to increase ones value through Facebook and also strategies to employ that will prevent unnecessary loss of value.

When You Go Online

Cool people go out on Friday and Saturday nights. That or they are busy. What they aren’t doing is going on Facebook. After 6 p.m. on Friday or Saturday, you shouldn’t be signing into Facebook at all, but if you do, make sure you aren’t logging into Facebook Chat, any other IM programs, or making status updates, posting articles or videos, or commenting on anyone else’s updates. If you do you are broadcasting to the world that you have nothing better to do but spend your Friday or Saturday night on Facebook. Another big no no is making Friend Requests during this time period. Many people receive a time stamped e-mail when someone friend requests them telling them when the request was made. It says a lot about you if you are friend requesting a particular girl at 11 p.m. on Friday. The impression you are giving is that you are alone and doing nothing on a Friday night and thinking about that person.

Negativity

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it” – well the same saying is absolutely true when it comes to Status Updates. People don’t like negative people. Try to keep your updates as upbeat as possible. If you don’t, you are going bleed out your value very quickly.

Photos

It is your job to understand how the photo features and tagging features work and to control what images you have out there. You should be regularly uploading photos of you with other people in fun environments. This means two things: (1) You have to go out regularly – if you don’t, you obviously can’t fake this and you won’t have any photos to post, and (2) You need to buy a nice slim pocket camera. If someone tags you in an unflattering photo, untag yourself, plain and simple. You control your image. If you fail to do this, and you have photos of yourself looking like a cross eyed dolt passed out on the floor, then your value again has nowhere to go but down.

Relationship Status & Other Profile Information

I personally prefer not to list my relationship status. This lets everyone wonder. If you are involved with someone and are still open to play with others, by adding the relationship you are potentially excluding a whole group of potential female playmates. In addition, no one likes drama, so I say it is better to stay away from the whole “It’s Complicated” choice. In addition, I would leave most of the other information out. No one really cares if you are on here for dating, friendships, or networking, so leave it blank, and I would also leave out religion and political affiliation – again you don’t want to have potential female playmates dismiss you because you don’t meet certain requirements they have on their internal check list. When you are just sleeping with someone, it doesn’t really matter whether they are Christian or Agnostic or a Liberal or a Conservative, so it is better not to disclose.

In addition you want to keep the overall information load from Activities, Interests, Music, TV Shows, etc. concise and to the point. No one wants to read too much information, so keep it brief and leave out information you know will obviously decrease your value.

Building Your Friend List

You should be attempting to increase your Friend List as quickly as possible. Every time you meet a new person while you are out you should add them as a friend a day or two later. The friend request feature allows you to attach a message to the request. I suggest that you add a very brief note on how you met – e.g., “Met at Yummy’s New Years Eve Party :-)”

I only have one exception and those are girls you are attempting to sleep with and who are available immediately to see. The less information they have about you the better-therefore you should merely be getting their phone number and making plans with them, not putting them on a slow track through Facebook.

Facebook Apps, Games, & Quizzes

Simply put: Stay away from them. By sitting there playing these inane games or taking these quizzes you are telling everyone on your Facebook you have absolutely nothing better to do with your time, hence a lowering of value results.

Baiting People to Interact with You

A busy wall shows others that people have an interest in you. There are two ways to bait people to interact with you on Facebook. The first way to go about this is to be active with commenting on articles and status updates that your friends post. They will be more likely to respond to your updates as a result. The quickest way of doing this is to just scroll through the most recent status updates on your home page when you sign on and just click the “Like” option whenever something interesting or positive is posted. The second way is to post articles, videos, or status updates that are interesting and provoke others to respond. Sometimes you might even want to ask a question in your post to encourage others to participate.

Events

Pay attention to events you are invited to on Facebook. It takes a lot to put together an outing or throw a party and those that do will become insulted by those that do not even take the ten seconds required to respond to an invite. Chances are you won’t get repeat invites if you do not respond to previous ones. At the very least choose no.

But on another note, these invites represent an opportunity to meet new people. I encourage you to leave your comfort zone and attend events even if you don’t know many people attending, which will quickly allow you to expand your social circle. After you attend an event, just go back to the event page a day or two later and it will be easy to friend request those new people you met.

Birthdays

Facebook does a wonderful job of telling you when upcoming birthdays are. These present an easy opportunity to keep communication lines open with those on your friend list that you don’t normally interact with frequently. I suggest sending them an actual message instead of just posting on their wall since this will make you stand out from the rest of the herd of people who are bombarding their walls with happy birthday messages. If you have a person’s cell phone number, either call or txt them instead of going through Facebook. It is more personal.

Don’t Censor

If someone posts something on your wall that you don’t necessarily agree with I suggest you don’t follow the impulse to censor. If you do this you will likely offend the person who posted the comment and they will be less likely to continue to respond to items or updates you post.

Conclusion

As you can tell, this is more of an article geared towards social circle game and does not directly deal with how to pick up girls using Facebook, though much of what this guide contains is relevant to that topic. I will continue to update this guide as time goes on. If anyone has any input, feel free to share either by posting a comment or via e-mail :-)

How to Host a Movie Night (v. 1.0)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:02:00 +0000

I have been thinking of additional ways to expand and strengthen my social circle aside from hosting parties every month or two. One idea was to have a movie night once a month. I had my first one last week. Obviously those with larger spaces to host a movie night will fare better than those who are limited on space. My ultimate goal is to replicate going to an actual theater to see a movie as closely as possible.

Choosing a Movie

I use DVD Express and Red Box to rent movies. They are DVD rental machines located at different supermarkets and grocery stores around the country (e.g., King Kullen, Waldbaums, Pathmark, Stop & Shop, 7/11, etc.). You can rent a movie for $1 and return it the following evening at 7 p.m. for DVD Express and 9 p.m. for Red Box. If you keep it longer you are charged $1 for each additional day. Both services allow for reserving movies ahead of time online and movies and new releases are released every Tuesday. By using one of these machines or if you prefer Netflix, Blockbuster, or your TV Service Provider, you can obtain the latest movie releases so there is a decreased chance of everyone having already seen the movie. There is something appealing about seeing a movie that just came out on DVD compared to something that has been available for some time.

Food

How would a movie night be complete without popcorn? I decided to purchase an old-fashioned popcorn machine to add a little fun for movie nights. I want the taste to be as close to possible as the movie theater as possible and normally microwaving popcorn just doesn’t cut it. I also have plenty of nachos available and heated up a whole bunch of cheese. For drinks I had Water, Pepsi, Coke, and Sprite. I make sure everyone has their own bowl of popcorn, nachos, and cheese, so there is no issues with double dipping or if anyone is a germaphobe they don’t have to put in an uncomfortable position.

Conclusion

That about sums up my thoughts on the subject for now. As I have more movie nights I will of course expand on what I find works and doesn’t work.

Review of October’s Party

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 21:50:00 +0000

I had hosted my most recent apartment party this past Saturday and it was a complete success.

There were a total of 31 of us. Only a handful of guests flaked. Below are some reflections on the party:

New Additions That Were Successful

Food: In the past, for fifteen guests I would order four pizza pies. For over 30 guests I was unsure of how many pies I should order. I considered just doubling the number to eight considering that four worked well for fifteen guests. However I just felt that was way too much of one thing so I opted for less pizza and decided to supplement the pizza with wings. As a result, for the increased guest list I ordered 6 pizza pies (2 plain, 2 pepperoni, 1 sausage, and 1 meatball) and 3 dozen wings. My guestimate worked well since only three slices were left over. In addition to the pizza modification I added cheese cake to the dessert menu. It was served a couple of hours after the pizza.

Games: There were only two new games added to this party. The first was Left, Center, Right (LCR), which was not played. However, every time I host a party different games are played depending on the social dynamics and interactions of the guests. The second new addition was a game similar to Russian Roulette called Lightening Reaction. Basically four people hold a joystick. A light on the machine flashes with music playing. When the light goes off the first person to press the button on the joystick wins and the losers (the other three players) get a respectable electric shock. If a player presses the button on their joystick before the light and music stops they are the only one to receive the shock. It is very fun to play and even more enjoyable for the guests watching the losers reactions when they get zapped. The other games played during the night were Shot Glass Checkers, Flip Cup, Beer Pong, and Apples to Apples.

Liquor: We added some new drinks to the menu. The first was Captain Morgan’s Coconut Rum which happens to work very well mixed with Fruit Punch. We also had Bacardi Long Island Ice Tea which worked well as a shot.

Future Ideas

At this point in time my parties pretty much work like clockwork and run very effectively as is, but since I am a perfectionist I always look for ways to improve upon the experience.

Music: One idea I have is to add wireless speakers to both the kitchen and bathroom to extend the reach of the music without raising the volume of the music in the apartment. The problem with just raising the volume is that the louder the music is, the louder the guests are so they can hear each other, which of course increases the chances of complaints. 30+ people are loud enough, no reason to artificially raise the volume.

Cupcakes: Anyone in NYC who has tried cupcakes from Magnolias or the Buttercup Cupcake Factory know how great it would be to reproduce those cupcakes. That is just what I plan to do for a dessert option at my parties. I plan on purchasing a professional mixer and will make a batch of different flavored fresh cupcakes. I suspect they will be just as much of a hit as the chocolate fondue has been.

Frozen Drinks: I now have one of those Margaritaville Frozen Concoction Maker machines which are these huge blending devices that make it very easy to make restaurant quality mixed drinks very easily. I plan on implementing the machine at future parties.

Popcorn: I recently purchased one of those old fashioned popcorn machines which I think will be a blast to use for movie nights which I am considering beginning soon. Basically rent a newly released movie and then have a handful of friends over to enjoy. But of course it is a way better experience if you can mimic the movie going experience more effectively. So I plan on having nachos with cheese and popcorn available for the occasion.

Orgies Do Exist – And I Had a Soft-Swap

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:20:00 +0000

Before sharing this experience I want to confess that I never really thought that people had orgies or that they were so common and what surprised me the most was that so many very attractive people would be involved in such things.

I am going to define an orgy as group sex where many people (6+) play with each other as compared to just many different couples swapping in the same environment but separate from each other.

On Saturday night my LTR (Long Term Relationship) – who we will call Samantha – and I were invited to a couples only swinger dinner party. We have recently been attending a lot of private parties but this was the first dinner party that we’ve been invited to. The party took place at a couple’s home and approximately a dozen couples attended. The rules and setup were simple, there was a cocktail hour that allowed guests to socialize, then dinner was served, and not too long following dinner, the party was moved to the basement where four beds were set up. Guests were not required to participate but if they wanted to watch they would have to do so in the nude.

For those wondering what types of people attend these parties, I have to admit I was very surprised at how attractive many of the couples were. They ranged from average to just plain wow.

We mingled with many of the guests but after dinner, one particular attractive couple caught our attention. They were both in their early twenties and were both attractive and just down to earth. We will call them John and Megan. After dinner we approached them and chatted for awhile. They were a bit shy, but to break the ice Samantha asked Megan if she wanted a drink. After the drink Samantha asked Megan if she wanted to make out. She said yes and we all proceeded down to the basement play area.

Everyone was naked down there and many of the guests were already playing with each other. The four of us stripped and sat down on a bed next to each other and Meagan and Samantha began to make out. Megan went down on Samantha and fingered her and then Samantha reciprocated. During this whole time a couple was having sex next to us.

After Samantha went down on Megan for a short period Megan asked if Samantha wanted to swap partners. At that point I made out with Megan and fingered her as she played with me and then she gave me a blow job while John went down on Samantha and Samantha gave John a hand job. Then I went down on Megan until she came. Shortly after we swapped back to our original partners (me with Samantha and John with Megan) and had sex with our respective partners. This was considered a soft swap which consists of swapping partners to the point just before actual vaginal intercourse.

While we were playing with John and Megan a massive orgy was forming on beds near us. There must have been about twenty people on those three beds all eating each other out, giving blow jobs, and having sex. We couldn’t even distinguish who was who. It has to be one of the most interesting sexual sights I had ever seen. And the moans and noises emanating from that pile of people was amazing.

We definitely had a wonderful time and exchanged contact information with John and Megan to hang out in the future and probably play again, possibly moving into a full swap where we have sex with each other’s partners.

Guides

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:23:00 +0000

This will be the future location where I link to guides I have written. The permanent link can be found at the top right hand corner of this website. I'm going to try to write a new guide every three months or so.

How to Host Apartment/House Parties (v.1.0)

How to Host a Movie Night (v.1.0)

Maintaining and Building Value on Facebook (v.1.0)

How to Host Apartment/House Parties (v. 1.0)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:55:00 +0000

I’m hosting my 13th party next month. My parties have come a long way since the first one I hosted back in April of 2008. This one looks to be the largest one yet. I’m expecting between 25 and 30 guests. The invites went out a little over a week ago and I have received 22 confirmations so far.

Since I have modified how I throw my parties I have decided to make a short guide explaining the steps I take from start to finish in hosting these parties.

Why Host a Party?
Hosting a party has many benefits. Below I will list a few:

1. If you have a large social circle it can be difficult to regularly spend time with many of your friends. By hosting parties, you allow many people in your social circle to come to you at the same time. Thus strengthening your relationships with those people without having to commit to spending time with each one of those people individually.

2. Hosting a party allows you to invite people you may not yet be friends with but you are interested in getting to know better. It is not as intimidating for them as a 1 on 1 interaction and provides a “safer” environment for them to get to know you better, and allows you to more easily incorporate new people into your social circle.

3. You can encourage friends to bring guests. This allows you to meet a variety of new people and if you like those new people you meet you can always invite them to future parties or social events.

4. Hosting parties or events positions you to become a leader of your social group. People will come to you wanting to know what the next party or social event is and when it will be.

5. Hosting parties or events creates immediate social proof.

6. Guests reciprocate. Many guests will invite you to parties or events they may be a part of in the future.

The Art of Hosting

Before we get into the specific steps to hosting a party I am going to briefly discuss the role of the host and the actual art of hosting a party.

Hosting a party is actually a lot of work but can be a blast. Learning to host parties is like learning pick up, you try new things out and learn from your mistakes, discarding what doesn’t work and keeping or improving upon what does work.

As a host, if the party does not go well, or guests are not enjoying themselves, the blame falls squarely on your shoulders. It is your job to make sure that overall the guests are fed well, drinking, socializing, and enjoying themselves. You will always have a few guests who bad seeds, but you cannot make everyone happy.

One major mistake I notice many people that host parties make is when the host becomes a guest at their own party. What I mean by this is that instead of making the rounds, making sure everyone is enjoying themselves, and directing the flow and energy of the party and the party’s activities they take a passive role and behave as though they aren’t hosting the party but rather is just a guest of the party.

Invitations

I create an events page on Facebook. I make sure all the information is filled out and I create a graphic to go with the event.

I then invite my guests.

I then send out a txt message to all those I invited informing them of the date of my next party and that the invites have been sent out on Facebook.

Two weeks before the party I begin calling, txting, or Facebook messaging those that have not yet responded or put selected maybe encouraging them to attend.

A week before the party I send out a message to all guests and those that have not yet responded and selected maybe to choose either Yes or No and a detailed for the party providing directions, parking information, etc. I have found that “Maybe” on Facebook generally means No.

The day of the party I send out a txt message to all those that have confirmed they were coming asking them to call or txt if they are going to be late or cannot make it.

Cleanliness
Make sure your house/apartment is clean. A messy place is a big turn off for many and you do not want to give guests any reason for not attending a future party.

Most importantly, make sure your bathroom is spotless.

An unsanitary bathroom will definitely attract attention, especially the attention of female guests. Make sure there is extra toilet paper and I keep a glass of mints on the bathroom so guests can “Freshen up” if they happen to upchuck or plan on smooching with any other guests.

Encouraging Others to Arrive on Time

Many people do not show up to parties when they begin. People generally trickle in a couple of hours after the party is underway. However, this creates an odd situation for the few guests that arrive early and will dissuade them from arriving on time during the next party.

You need to emphasize that you want to people arrive on time or close to the beginning of the party as possible.

One way to do this is by providing incentives to people to show up on time.

I accomplish this through having a set schedule involving when snacks are out and when pizza is ordered. As discussed below I only have the Fondue, which is very popular, out between 7 p.m. when my parties begin and 9 p.m. when the pizza arrives. If guests arrive later, they lose out.

Should You Have a Cover Charge?

At prior parties I required from each guest a $5 cover charge and a six pack of beer to help offset my costs. However, I have abandoned the $5 cover charge which has led to an increase in guests.

Whether to have a cover charge or not really depends on how well you can afford to host the parties. The parties can get a bit pricey between all the snacks, the pizza, and the liquor.

Snacks and Food

Having well fed guests are very important. Many guests go to parties expecting there to be food. I’ve been to parties where the host neglected this very important aspect. It is hard to enjoy yourself when you are starving and the host comes off as incompetent or cheap if he or she does not provide for the needs of the party goers.

I make sure that there is a fridge stocked with bottled water and Red Bull, plus a limited supply of Sprite and Pepsi. However, note that I do limit the amount of Sprite and Pepsi in the fridge because I prefer my guests to be drinking alcohol and not soda. Why Red Bull? It is a caffeine boost that will make guests more awake.

I use a Cuisinart Electric Fondue Set and put out a spread of Graham Cracker Crumbed Marshmallows, Oreo Crumbed Marshmallows, Regular Marshmallows, Rice Crispy Treats, and Strawberries. I melt chocolate in the fondue device. This has been a real hit with guests. Prior to this point I had out a bowl of party mix and a bowl of Tostitos Scoops and Salsa.

We order Pizza at 8:30 to be delivered. If there are less than 10 guests at the time I order 2 pies. If there are between 10-15 guests I order 3 pies. If there are more than 15 guests I order 4 pies. We order equal number pepperoni and plain.

The Fondue stays out until 9 p.m. and then regardless of how much is left I throw out the rest. I also aim to put out slightly less food than is necessary to create scarcity mentality. The pizza arrives soon after.

After the Pizza is mostly gone I put out a bowl of party mix and a bowl of Tostitos Scoops with salsa.

When guests begin to leave at the end of the night I offer them a Red Bull or coffee. I keep disposable coffee cups and lids in my apartment. This allows myself and others to leave with a cup of coffee and not worry about returning a mug, but can rather dispose of the cup when finished.

Music

You should have music at a party.

For music I tune to one of the music channels provided by my cable provider called “The Hit List” and set it to a reasonable volume and then I put the remotes away in one of my bedroom drawers. I remove the remotes from the room to prevent guests from changing the volume and the channel. I do not want guests to change the volume because by raising the volume other guests will have to raise the volume of their voice to hear one another and I would like to keep complaints from neighbors down to a minimum. I do not allow guests to change the channel because I want guests to interact and not veg out in front of the television. I’ve seen at other parties guests change the station to a movie or to a sports game. If I wanted to have a football party I would organize one.

In addition, if you have a larger space or prefer not to use the television, I suggest you have an IPOD/MP3 compatible system that will allow you to create your own playlist.

Seating
Having more than twenty people at your place requires lots of seating.

I suggest buying folding chairs. I personally keep 14 folding chairs on hand, plus 6 dining room chairs (which I prefer not to be used), and a couch and a loveseat. This provides plenty of seating.

Games

Entertainment is always very important. You do NOT want your guests to become bored or to be stuck playing the same drinking game over and over again.

To address this I have the following set up:

A professional beer pong table. You can also play flip cup on the table. Both of these games are very fun and encourage others guests to drink. You can order one of these tables off of the internet for a little over a hundred dollars. They fold up into a suitcase so you can easily store them in the closet. One important note when dealing with beer pong and flip cup: Buy TONS of plastic party cups. Many guests do not like to reuse cups other people have played with before them. I keep literally hundreds of cups and dispose of them after each one is used during a game so no one has to worry about germs. You do not want your guests to be skeeved out or dissuaded from participating because of a lack of supplies.

In addition to beer pong and flip cup I have Apples to Apples (which I modified to require each round’s winner to take a shot), Poker, Spoons, Lighting Reaction Extreme, I’ve Never…, Naughty Charades, shot class checkers, and all the classics in case guests want to play (Stragego, Risk, Clue, Monopoly, Life, Jenga, Chess, Checkers, Connect Four, and Operation).

What is important is to make these games into drinking games. Attempt to make each games loser or winner have to take a shot. This makes these games much more interesting and keeps the party moving along nicely.

Video Games

I allow no video games to be played.

I have prevented this by not having any out and by removing the remotes for the television. I have found that video games bring attention to the television and not to the guests and actually hinder socializing. The goal is to increase social interaction and fun, not to direct all attention to a box. It doesn’t matter what the game, even games like Guitar Hero are actually detrimental in the long run and I find many people use such games as a crutch.

Alcohol

Alcohol is essential to having a very successful party (not so much for other types of social events).

I require guests to bring a six pack, but they are free to have as much beer as they can drink. I also give full access to my liquor supply to all my guests.

The reason I ask guests to bring their own beer is to cut down on costs, and it gives a greater selection of beer because everyone has different tastes.

I make sure my refrigerator has ample amount of space the day of the party and I put in about 12 bottles of my own beer and a bunch of Pepsi, Sprite, Red Bull, and Bottled Water.

As guests come in I start filling up the fridge with beer and guests self-serve at that point.

As for liquor, I keep a stacked bar and I attempt to make as many games as possible require the loser or winner to take a shot and I call for rounds of shots every 20 minutes or so. This keeps the party moving and the guests inebriated.

Smokers
Left unchecked smokers can be an issue. It depends on the crowd.

I don’t allow smoking in my apartment so smokers take smoke breaks outside the apartment.

During one party I had quite a few smokers and they all decided to smoke at the same time. This resulted in three things: (1) My party was reduced by about half which drains a tremendous amount of energy from the party, (2) After they were finished smoking they hung out outside for about 45 minutes, and (3) By hanging out outside so long while intoxicated and with so many of them we received our first noise complaint.

As a result I inform guests in my Facebook message two weeks before the party that guests should limit smoke breaks to ten minutes due to previous complaints. So far my guests have respected my wishes.

Sick Guests
If a guest is feeling sick I have them rest in my bedroom and take a time out.

I keep paper towels, water, and a “vomit bucket” in the bedroom. For those of you who wonder why I keep a “vomit bucket” and why guests can’t just go to the bathroom to vomit, apparently some just can’t. I’ve had guests vomit in my bedroom and it is way better to be able to just close a garbage bag and dispose of the vomit then have to clean a floor full of it.

Future Updates

After each party I learn something new. As I continue to learn and host better parties and events I will continue to update this guide. Feel free to make any suggestions or comments below.

New York City PUA Events for September 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:41:00 +0000

New York City PUA Events for August 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:36:00 +0000

In an effort to keep my readers and myself better informed on the different community events occurring in New York City each month I post a calendar at the beginning of each month listing all upcoming events I am aware of. New York City is a place that has several different community groups and there is no reason to learn pickup on your own if you do not want to. If I have a missed an event that you feel should be listed please do not hesitate to e-mail me.

Thursday, August 20th

Title: What Women Haven’t Told You: Female Perspectives on Pickup
Host: NYC Inside Out Social Dynamics Group
Location: CAP 21, 18 West 18th Street, New York, NY 10011, 6th Floor
Time: 7:30 pm
Cost: $10
Description: “Hey Gents, August 20, Thursday @ 7:30 pm - Picara, one of the few female dating coaches in NYC is coming to speak to our group - the topic, What Women Haven't Told You: Female Perspectives On Pickup. What Peter & Picara wrote up about the August 20 presentation: When we first started attending men's group meetings, and talking to guys in the "seduction community," we noticed something peculiar. A lot of the guys we met seemed to be spinning their wheels, wasting time on things that weren't improving their dating lives, that were even, dare we say it, handicapping them. We sensed a major problem, that no one talked about. And it all had to do with how guys in the community viewed women. I mean, haven't you ever wondered why guys in the community feel like they have to hide their intentions from women? Or why they need pseudonyms or fake screen names? I mean, is it even necessary? What if this stuff was actually holding you back? On Thursday, August 20th, we'll be answering these questions and more in a presentation that any lover (or soon-to-be lover) of women will want to attend. Among other things, you'll learn... * How women actually look at men (and at pick-up artists). * What women actually want, some of which is waaay different than what your favorite guru has told you. * How to become an excellent translator, and learn to speak womanese yourself. * A way to get female advice that'll skyrocket your game. Afterwords, we'll be having a round table discussion with a Q&A, so bring your questions. And, in case you're wondering who we are: Peter and Picara are Co-Founders of Charmistry (www.charmistry.com). We're dorks at heart who later found our inner Don Juan (and Dona Juana). Plus, we make a mean grilled cheese sandwitch. Picara doesn't think that's an appropriate bio but, wtf, I'll put it in anyway. Best, P. This should be interesting, fun, and have plenty of actionable tips that will help you all with your interactions and dates with women. Bring your questions - we will reserve ample time for Q & A at the end of the presentation. Cheers, Philip. p.s. - we will be going out after this presentation - so even if you cannot make this presentation swing by at 9:30 to meet your wingman.”

Saturday, August 22nd

Title: Psychology of Dating
Host: NYC Wingmen
Location: Ripley-Grier Studios, 510 Eight Avenue, New York, NY 10011, Room 16K
Time: 7:00 p.m
Price: $10
Description: “In this session i will cover inner game and more so psychology of dating. Which is often forgotten behind "approach, kino, iois.mltrs" and other acronyms, yet more important then those combined. With a right mind set you can do approach, social interaction and not worry what you have to say next..”