YUN [space] ZHEN !

current state of my table V

2012-01-30T00:40:00.000+08:00

Time for the state of table post! It seems a few posts ago I packed up my table already. Er... back to normal. Haha. Life doesn't stagnate at one point.

This is the working corner. Table and cupboards.

The cupboards. Hehh. Spot the creepy pig.

The other cupboards. I don't own those behind my chair. Unfortunately.

The table mess.

It looks very messy right! (As usual.) But this is 乱中有序 okay. I know where everything is. Mostly. Hehe. Sometimes things do maintain the "lost" status for a day or two though, sometimes forever.

As usual, this accurately reflects life right now! In limbo. :( Like how secondary school has ended and junior college hasn't started. And when I want to clear something, I don't know whether to clear it or not. It is that sort of feeling where you know where you are, where this place is supposed to be, but you are still sort of lost, because you don't know what is supposed to happen, or what is happening.

npcc training 27/1

2012-01-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

Okay so nothing exciting has happened recently! Haha.

Training today was alright. I guess.

Truth is I am still not used to being a CI! :O Yes I know right. I only realise now that being a CI is hard. Not in the sense that you must have complete mastery of your knowledge, or always know what to do in a fix. That's simple things we are already trained to be. Maybe at least for the former. But anyway, the harder part is in the grooming process of your cadets. I guess I'm still not confident enough of what I want the Sec 4s/3s/2s/ future Sec 1s to become, and how to achieve that. I don't know what kind of response I am looking to get from them, and how to go about getting their response. It is more a perplexing issue than a stressful issue. Speaking of which, I don't have complete mastery of my knowledge yet haha. Don't worry, I am working on it. Slowly.

Muji Lemon/Strawberry Jelly Marshmallow

2012-01-25T00:31:00.000+08:00

So er recently nothing to post about ya. :( Sad.

Haha yeah anyway I previously mentioned about posting about marshmallows. Actually there is no big deal about marshmallows usually. But I am sort of fascinated with Muji food items. Actually they sort of remind me of combat rations... high classed. Thus the fascination you know. The way they package and sell their food reminds me of food that will never expire which reminds me of... combat rations. Unfortunately so. You know how combat rations always expire 2 years later. (If you've never had the fortune of first hand experience with combat rations, well, be thankful heh)

Lemon version! It actually says ゼリー入りレモンマシュマロ。

Jap lesson crash course:
ゼリー = jelly
入り = inserted
レモン = lemon
マシュマロ = marshmallow

RJC JIP

2012-01-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

Meh. So boring. Haven't posted for so long. But believe me, I've gone through more than 10 drafts of posts and all of them couldn't flow right. I don't know why one would have writer's block when it's just typing out your stream of consciousness. Looks like my stream of consciousness has regressed.

Bleh I was going to write about NP x.x but nevermind. JIP!!! (January Induction Programme, in case you know I don't know)

What has JIP been like?

Heh ultimate boring to the max.

Actually it's not really a matter of how important these talks are and about respect for the speaker or you know those things they drill into your head unsuccessfully.

But it's about context.

What do we understand or can be even concerned about JC life? Nothing they are talking about is immediately relevant to us, JC1 students wearing the RGS pinafore. Talking about GP, PW, Econs. Bleh. Like telling a kindergarten child about the economic crisis. I'm serious. I remember my kindergarten teacher asking us to go back and "research" on this building collapsing thing. Not the exact words used, but the same concept. And I didn't understand what she wanted us to do. These are memories you store in your brain forever, but only understand it 10 years later.

Other than the talks.

First day of JC

2012-01-13T00:52:00.000+08:00

Summary of today:

Many many boring talks x.x
Have to acquaint myself with a whole new canteen :(
Noob pinafores
PMEH got approved! :D

Other than that. Actually I can't wait for JC to start. Haha it seems so exciting. And challenging. I love a good challenge. What a lie.

But there is so much to anticipate! :O

What will my class be like! (Amazing how there's enough people for PMEH and I don't know anybody taking that)

What will such a combination be like! It is daunting in a way. Because science and humans have different requirements also. I don't want to be a science student T_T I want to be a hybrid student.

And project work seems exciting!

Spring Cleaning Escapades: The Drawer of T Shirts

2012-01-11T02:30:00.002+08:00

The Spring Cleaning Escapade Continues!

Er actually I did this a long time ago but obviously a lot of things came up.

Anyway, there is nothing much to explain. By now, you must have a sense of how disorganised I am. Messy is the right word actually.

So this is actually my drawer of shirts. Er, I meant The Drawer Of Shirts. With just four years of RGS, you get a lot of random and rubbish (school approved) shirts that you wear less than 5 times in total. They used to be in my main wardrobe but they took out so much unnecessary space I cleared out one drawer specially for Shirts a few years ago. It started out quite neat. I folded it quite nicely one. But you know... over time.

The only way to spring clean is to throw out all your stuff and redo everything. Also 顺便 clean it down with a wet cloth lah. The process was quite quick because aim here was not to clear but reorganise. I used the Samurai Fold method I recently learnt in Taiwan on TV to fold everything! It is a miracle seriously.

(Everything else cut off for people who don't care about how I am learning to be neat -sniffs-)

O level results, poly or jc, subj combis, and a sort of happy relief

2012-01-11T01:38:00.000+08:00

Hmmm oh shit I think I might have entered another emotional phase where I feel sad listening to every Chinese song. I hope this hormonal imbalance doesn't get out of hand. Bleh. x.x

Er if it is necessary to post about O level results, I got B3 for Chinese, A2 for Japanese. Both results were within expectations I guess. To be honest, I really took the O levels for fun, so I didn't expect to do too well, but not too badly either. I guess the irony is that these marks are not just average to other students, getting an A may mean more to them than it will ever mean to us. Even when people cry over their Bs or Cs or Ds, I always know there are always people out there less privileged than us. Er this is turning out to be quite condescending but I don't mean it that way. Anyway, I think we should just be thankful for what we have.

People I know on facebook, on whatsapp (yeah it's the same people), getting worried about JAE. It's a bit weird watching people decide, weigh the pros and cons and I cannot really say anything because I'm in no position to. Anyway, for the people who googled things like the above. Any might land here sometime soon. Or next here. Poly or JC? That's not a question because it has no answer. Each has its own pros and cons and I'm not in any position to say this since I am on a straight train to JC. But it is true sometimes I am envious of Poly students because it seems much less academic, and more application-based. Some people say you shouldn't waste one more year in Poly. But as Confucius says, it doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop. JC has it's own advantages too like you really do learn more in depth things and it preps you better for university if you ever intend to go there. I guess the two things to weigh are perhaps your own interests and your own future. I guess as the convention goes, JC is better in terms of your future. But you have to know what you do in JC is not necessarily enjoyable or fun, and I believe sometimes you don't even know what you're studying for. It is not a place to go if you really place your interests in front of anything. Anyway not many will have to make this painful choice between Poly and JC.

What is a safe subject combination in JC. A safe one in my opinion is PCME. Standard combinations are PCME and BCME. But in my opinion, BCME is not exactly safe unless you aim to go into Biomed or Biochem or Bio something. It's actually not a tiny field of expertise. Singapore is developing its Biomed/Biochem manufacturing industry and I wouldn't say there's no future. But really if you don't intend to go anywere down the Bio-sth lines, then don't bother. PCME is safe because it's the most boring subject combi ever haha. But I did consider it for more than a while anyway. The next few more common ones are CME-sth(which is not bio or physics) or the standard humans combis which I don't know about. And it seems not many people take PME-sth, so I am under rare :O But actually it's listed as standard. Have we gone through this debate about the importance of chem before? Er anyway apparently Chem is hard so luckily I dropped it :D But then there's still time to change my subject combination. There is always time.

Maybe these two topics deserve more than one paragraph each and an entire post, but I feel I'm not qualified to speak about this.

(I forgot to say this, but they parquet-ed the floors of the J block classrooms! It smells nice in a new sort of way but gets choking after a while. And mirrored the walls of the second and third floors and it's like some dance centre now. And soundproofed the thing. The parquet squeaks when my tracks shoes are wet so hmm.)

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Anyway 8th consecutive day doing NPCC-related things. I don't think I'll ever again break this record in my entire service again. When I went back today, to see only, not really to supervise or anything, and just to give a few tips that maybe I cannot give during normal trainings because I don't look so closely at how they tie their lashings and hitches, anyway, when I went back today, I think I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe the Sec 4s were not ready to be Sec 4s, maybe it was not right to be so harsh on them yet, maybe we should have been more understanding, but actually we understood everything but there is not time for them to take their time to grow up. I guess we were all there once, what is there that I cannot empathise with? But maybe, just maybe, throwing them into a pit of alligators, giving them a wake-up call, forced them to mature almost overnight. I was really glad to see that they are such sensible kids. I hope this lasts. But yeah, I was pleasantly shocked to have found out they arranged for their own practice by themselves and looking at the turnout, I am glad. I am glad because I know even if they do not achieve their goal, they'll find it worth it for every ounce of effort they put in and they will find it worth it because they are putting a lot of physical and mental effort into it. Jiayou, Sec 4s.

O level results

2012-01-08T00:29:00.001+08:00

I've written 2 posts justifying my activities for the past few days but they never work out the way I intended for it to. Either it evolves into anger, disappointment or worry.

So anyway for the past 6 days, my life has revolved around NPCC. Er nothing much to report. Today is another day dedicated to NPCC. Seven consecutive days. Actually it is still quite alright for now, except for my slowly disappearing voice, and the cough that will not be recovering anytime soon. Yeah I know this are things I should have known would happen the day I decided to become a CI. I'm used to it already now. But hmm, a bit worried if when school starts, the workload gets even heavier than what I'm used to, wonder where my priorities are going to lie.

---

Anyway, today is O level results day :O These days, probably half the people on my news feed take the O levels, the whole deal. With every facebook status, I can feel their nervousness and excitement. But I feel none. Er not trying to be elitist here.

Anyway, I guess it is a big deal for them, because this is going to decide the next two or three years of their life. Whether they are going to poly or JC. Which poly. Which JC. If they end up going to poly, like most people I seem to know are considering, then it also decides which course they are going to take. Which also will decide what kind of careers they will go into. It's a very very long chain of reactions. It's a chain of reactions some people believe started from PSLE, or even before that, your family background. But let's not go into that.

But this long chain of reaction doesn't apply to me. Because even at this stage I already know what subject combination I'm going to take in JC. I have the privilege and freedom, to choose anything I want to do. Not only at this moment, the options available to me are vast, but also I can see these options, many of my peers only see these options at 2pm today. The feeling of fear and anxiety cannot exist for me as it does for them.

True, I did take part of the O levels too. Shouldn't I be excited about the results. Like Higher Chinese results will determine whether I continue taking the same subject in JC. But I already have my next course of action anyway. IF x happens, I will do a. If y happens, I will do b. (Japanese results are irrelevant because it's one of those regrets in life you can't help but give up on.) Anyway, I already have my Plan B, and I know it is a safe plan (only factor is time), so there's nothing for me to anticipate.

Er actually it sucks always being singled out because you don't take the O levels, the real deal, don't go through the nervous waiting, but I rather my life be planned out for me earlier so I have the time to pursue other things. This is a lie, I have not pursued much things with my given time. But there are downsides to this IP system too. I know O level kids always complain that the IP system is unfair, for them. You've heard the story. And fine, yeah actually I agree. But I cannot say anything because I'm on the other side of the system...

Anyway er whatever it is, I know a lot of people getting their O level results today. I wish them luck. :D

A lookback on the old years

2012-01-02T02:36:00.000+08:00

Hello, sigh.

I originally wrote a super long post. But then it got erased in my clumsiness. This is the first time Blogger has done this to me (considering my long history with Blogger, that's not bad) so I'll let it slide.

Let's rewrite everything and skip out unnecessary and boring details this time!

---

So anyway I was originally intending to write about er marshmallows, or my spring cleaning escapades which has progressed by one drawer, then the new year came, and it is obligatory to write about it.

Actually for the past 2 years, I've been secretly making new year's resolutions. Actually they aren't really new year's resolutions but yearly goals. Which are mostly the same. Nevermind :( Anyway I've actually achieved whatever goals I had for the past two years so hey, not bad. They tell you that the key to making resolutions you can keep are to have SMART goals. But I'll tell you it's simpler to be vague.

Taiwan 2011 IV

2011-12-31T01:06:00.001+08:00

Back from Taiwan! The last few days were not very interesting. Nothing much to report! Went back to Taipei. More food. You should try not to buy things from Ximending from the random stalls because you find the same things at other night markets at lower prices. Except the ones with proper brands and companies... you don't have a choice, they are all fixed anyway.

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NPCC is going to take over my life soon and I will become a no lifer.

The spring cleaning escapade continues. Once my shirts get out of the laundry.

Taiwan 2011 III

2011-12-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

So in the past few days, I've been to Sun Moon Lake, Jiufen, er and actually I cannot really remember already :( There is not much to say, this is an obligatory updating of this blog so that you know I'm alive and ten years later I can still sort of remember what I've done, yes? Maybe not. Sigh.

Sun Moon Lake is beautiful with imagination only, I guess. Somebody on the web called it the most overrated lake in the world, I sort of agree haha. Just that you don't happen to be in the right place at the right time and with the right eyes. There was too much fog so sunset and sunrise were a bit disappointing or nonexistent.

Jiufen was today... basically it is mostly a very touristy place and all the shops are very touristy too but then there was an Ocarina shop I enjoyed very much hehe. Er and there is a lot of eating things too. I meant there are. Anyway, but yea a lot of people and it was a very bustling atmosphere I guess, maybe. Basically it's one street uphill so you keep walking and walking and at some instances you don't really know where you are walking to. But after many such instances, you come to an opening, sort of like the light at the end of the tunnel, and then you know that amusing walk uphill with all the funny foods was to look at the scenery.

Haha but the nice thing about Taiwan's scenery is its mountains. Honestly they all look the same and maybe you think they aren't very exciting but there is something very quietly serene about them, the layers and layers of mountain, disappearing into the thin layers of fog.

In other news, went to a few night markets too. Went to Shida night market again! Yay memories! But it looked super different too because I think more shops were open and we walked deeper into the night market than I did last year. And we went to Wufenpu shopping district/night market which just sells clothes, a lot of it. But you mostly cannot buy a lot because cannot wear in Singapore anyway. Sigh.

Taiwan 2011 II

2011-12-23T20:33:00.000+08:00

So in the last two days or so, or maybe three...

We left Taipei, took the bullet train to Taichung, the bullet train, which as per normal, is quite boring. Just sleep lah.

And then the original plan was the take bus to the next hotel but this taxi service interrupted us and offered a nice deal... sleep in the taxi for a little bit more money. Er fine, we'll take it. Haha anyway er it didn't really go like that but anyway the taxi driver was very nice and friendly and the taxi was also not what I like to call boxy... you know the wreck taxis are made of usually. And the journey was more than an hour long up the mountains and the taxi delivered us all the way to the doorstep of the er next place, so I don't think it was a bad deal haha.

So anyway next destination, Nantou county, Chingjing（清境）. And we stayed in a 民宿, guesthouse in the mountaintop. We stayed at 清境觀星園景觀山莊 which is the located at highest amongst all the guesthouses there... so hey the view was not bad haha. Actually in fact it was pretty spectacular.

The first day we just lazed around. Then we went to the 農場, which is to say, there is nowhere else to go except the 農場... really. There's nothing to do on top of a mountain except look at the view and play with sheep and watch them poop like it's raining (I'm serious) ... Er well, life's good.

And the next day we just lazed around. Really nothing to do. It was super cold on top of the mountain. Single digit degrees Celsius. But hooray for a bed that comes with a heater so your bed is super warm, almost steaming if you want it that way, and it's the most intoxicating feeling ever to just sleep on a steaming bed in cold Winter, if we can call this Winter. They do call this 冬天 though so...

There is not much food in Taichung sadly, there is food lah, but not much variety.

With every lunch being cup noodles... argh this is very unhealthy.

The 民宿 provide dinner though which is happy steamboat! Eating steamboat in chilling weather is one of the luxuries of life. Haha.

Next stop: Sun Moon Lake

Taiwan 2011 I

2011-12-20T23:37:00.002+08:00

Back in Taipei! Haha I love Taiwan I don't know why. Er it's quite run down and everything and I still think that they seem to still be living in the past, not moving on. But there is something quite enjoyably carefree about this place.

So far. Erm we have not been to many places haha.

Yesterday was just a day of touching down, checking in, and then roaming deserted streets because the shops were all closed and there were not many "shops"... more like stalls.

Today hmm...

Taiwanese trains are pretty quaint. They remind me of Japanese trains because they are more metallic than Singapore's trains. Singapore's trains are more polished and Taiwanese trains are more... raw.

We went to Taipei 101 to discover that the observatory level was higher than the lowest level of clouds and it was a pretty thick layer of clouds rolling about too. Hmmm. At first you get annoyed that you cannot see anything and it's just like being in an airplane because it's just clouds below. But then the winds shift and the clouds shift along and it gets pretty surreal. You feel like you're at he top of the world, the clouds occasionally diverge to reveal to you an inconsequential world, Man's world, which is actually your world also. And it gets pretty fun to play with the clouds. To watch them rolling about and wait for them to shift and then you catch the moment where you can see humanity below you.

And then the clouds got too thick and I was pretty sad I couldn't see the night view because the night view is pretty spectacular you know.

Then moving on to Shilin Night Market! The most delicious street in the world. Er aiya like every other night market, it is filled with ~~ugly~~ super fashionable clothes and not that much food. It is like a permanent pasar malam you know. Actually some of the clothes there are quite nice lah but you cannot buy anything anyway because you cannot wear it in Singapore so you know... sigh.

Food food I love food. Taiwanese food is oily and unhealthy, I have no idea why you don't see obese people walking in the streets, but it is delicious. 蛋餅 is my favourite!

CIBTC VI - Pass Out Lo!

2011-12-19T12:30:00.000+08:00

Investiture was yesterday. We've finally Passed out. 149 Trainees. 5 squads. 3 weeks. 1 D11.

Yay haha so proud of all of us!

In the end it turned out to be not as scary as I feared, but it really was one mindblowing journey, one whirlwind adventure, passed by a bit too quickly in the blink of an eye

D11 Delta! Best squad ever! Okay maybe not, but forever will have a place in my heart in my memories. There should have been a best squad award... :x

-insert another group photo-

And Wonder Women Welfare! Most enthu ATC group! :D for good reason too! Definitely an inspiring combination of people that I will forever remember!

-insert more photos-

Not to forget the super committed and dedicated instructors!

The following journey will probably be tougher than the cibtc phase, but it also brings so many new possibilities. Can't wait for it. In fact, it has started already. Now we are probationary cadet inspectors. Six months later, we will be full fledged cadet inspectors. It will be another journey that will pass by in the blink of an eye. Let's make good use of it.

CIBTC V - ATC summary

2011-12-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

Here's a brief post, so that you know I have survived the most part of this course, and because there's still a thousand and one things to do (coughuniformcough)

Anyway, ATC was a blast. Actually I didn't know what I expected, but I think it turned out a lot better than I expected. And even the walk to campsite/back to jetty was not tiring anymore (unless you have blisters on your toes... then it becomes painful) and sleeping in tents is no longer uncomfortable.

To put it in a word (or two), I thought it was beyond exciting.

Give me the chance to do it all over again, I will not necessary do so, it won't be the same. So I'm glad for this opportunity, I tried my best to treasure and value every moment and opportunity.

In two more days, or one, we'll be passing out already. Time flies. From RC1 Day 1 till now, it has flown by in the blink of an eye. The next two years can fly by in the same blink. Must 抓紧时间 already and after this, think carefully about my priorities.

Christmas Present to Myself ^_^

2011-12-13T01:32:00.000+08:00

Actually I don't really have the habit of celebrating Christmas or anything so actually I cannot justify to myself why I would buy a Christmas present (and to myself of all people, what a selfish person I am!)

But actually this is just to give me an excuse to buy something for myself again. Not counting all my splurges on 小吃 stuff, and on 0.38 pens when I need to, I rarely spend money to buy things for myself. Actually I am trying to justify buying something above ten dollars which doesn't have a realistic purpose. Not having the habit of spending money unnecessarily (except on food), it takes me a long time to get over spending anything more than ten dollars at one go. The last time I bought a rucksack from Muji (which I still do love terribly till now) and I wouldn't have gotten over the moneyzzz if my mother hadn't sponsored half of it. (It was eighty dollars by the way but I bought it at 10% off, so it was seventy dollars or so which is still a lot of money).

Anyway my favourite stationery store has to be Kikki.K which I happily browse around in at Ion whenever I am there but can never afford to buy anything there because the price never justifies the functionality for me. Anyway that day I stepped in and probably spent eternity in there again until I saw something that I really liked and even after walking through the rest of Ion, I kept thinking about it, because I was scared it would get sold out or something, and then I knew I had to buy it. (You know the test, if you keep thinking about something you want to buy, it means you really need it).

Anyway basically... let's get on with my purchase.

(Picture heavy post so I'll happily cut it off here)

CIBTC IV

2011-12-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

hmm a bit sleepy.

Today was quite fun in a sort of boliao lame and stupid way. Er apparently I should use stupid and idiots less. Today was quite fun in a sort of nothing-to-do way when actually we had so much to do. Freedom to control your own time is very liberating. When you follow a strict schedule you can never keep up with for 8 days, you finally learn to appreciate this sort of freedom. It takes me trials and tribulations (or actually just the loss of) to make me learn how to appreciate something. I have to learn faster.

Anyway, today was supposed to be a meeting to discuss ATC stuffs but I went to Orchard earlier to you know retrace footsteps that carried memories... and to eat. Okay I went to Orchard earlier to eat lunch with myself, and 顺便趁机享受四年来的这个游乐园。

Went to Kikki.K! Becuase that's the first shop I always see when I exit Orchard MRT. Okay no lah, because it is one of my favourite stores.

Ate Gindaco Takoyaki! What brilliant invention is this, I never get tired of eating it everytime. The good thing about eating with yourself is that you can use the extra bamboo skewer, I meant extra satay stick, and then use both sticks as chopsticks! Actually you can just ask for more sticks when you don't eat with yourself.

Went to Muji! My other favourite store. Because actually I had nothing to buy there, but it gives me a very calming feeling whenever I step in, I ended up buying things to eat. Japanese Plum Rice Cracker and Strawberry Chocolate Marshmallow which both sound dubious but turned out quite nice.

And then went back to Kikki.K because to buy myself a present. Haha actually I feel very pleased with myself because I've wanted to buy something from there since it first opened in Singapore but I could never justify the cost versus practical purpose thing to myself. Anyway I am so pleased I typed out a blogpost on that already. :D I wonder why you would be interested in where I spend my money on but nevermind, the blogpost exists.

And then realised I spent too long in Kikki.K and Muji and then practically ran to Shaw to buy my RJC uniform. Okay truth be told, I walked there anyway. On the topic of which, somebody please tell me is the RJC skirt a skirt or a dress? (YT: "It's a tent" haha) So anyway I was almost tempted to buy XL for the skirt but I bought L anyway, er it's the waist circumference, the length for all is the same, which must make petite people really wear the RJC skirt like a dress. And then I bought 14, which is the smallest size for the blouse. This is actually unimportant, trivial information, but you know, it doesn't really make sense. Like one so big size one so small size. Anyway I will not launch into a wallowing-in-self-pity-instance about this thing everybody keeps talking about, about how the uniform sizes are meant for elves or something.

And when I reached Dhoby Ghaut, the meeting place, I reached there to realise actually there were people later than me. How delightful. Anyway, Shaw, Orchard, Plaza Sing, you don't realise how many memories you've left in such an exclusive playground until you've left. Stepping in these places actually made me feel normal again, because I think CIBTC had torn me completely away from an environment I was used to (but was not very happy in anyway. whatever)

And then we proceeded on to SOTA. And invaded their campus, which has too many security guards for their own good. Walk twenty steps and then you see another security guard post. But they have a beautiful campus, it would be a dream to study in such an amazing campus.

The rest of the discussion proceeded eventfully, but inefficiently. Just as well, I was tired of the NPCC-brand of efficiency.

Hehe I fished out my Japanese Plum Rice Crackers and Strawberry Chocolate Marshmallows to let everybody eat. It was entertaining to watch people's faces contort as they tried the Japanese Plum Rice Cracker. Actually it looks like this pink circular disc, which makes it even more dubious. And they were all like, "er, no thank you." Then when they finally took one to eat, half of them appreciated the interesting taste and the other half of them ran away from it hehe. The Strawberry Chocolate Marshmallow was well-received though. Should have bought more.

CIBTC III - Ubin Day

2011-12-10T23:00:00.000+08:00

Haha sorry if you don't like reading about CIBTC. :(

You know all the rgs people on facebook and twitter are either overseas/studying for SAT and here I am worrying about ATC. I don't know whether I have a life or not. Usually overenthu-about-NPCC-people are no-lifers and then muggers are no lifers too so in the end even if I become one of either, I will become a no lifer too. :( I have no life either way.

But side note, if you enjoy what you are doing, then it is not no life right.

One of the statements from CIBTC that stuck it out in my mind was "Being a CI is not a decision, but a lifestyle". To be honest, this lifestyle seems to be quite a cruel lifestyle, forever requiring you to be eternally responsible, do saikang, sacrifice for every little thing, be a candle that gives light to others by burning itself. But it is a rewarding journey and the candle finds its purpose in giving light to others.

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Anyway Ubin Day which is officially RC2 Day 4 but we all know that nobody actually treats it as a part of RC2.

Actually it was quite fun...

Flagstaff/tentpitching/recce/final briefing.

It's not to say any of the activities were particularly fun but I guess the way everybody approached it made the process really an enjoyable learning process. Urgh what a horrible clichéd phrase, I wish the school used it less so it will sound perfectly sincere and genuine when I use it when I want to use it. A beyond tolerant, very accepting way of working with each other, whether we know the person or not. Trying to strike the perfect balance between being strict and serious and never really getting there but you know, always somewhere there. There is a feeling about it I cannot pinpoint, cannot explain very well, falls beyond the realm of my communication skills.

Sometimes I give up at talking. Most of the time it's because nobody is listening to me. But sometimes, it's because I cannot find it in my ability to put across the feeling I want to express.

You know sometimes I wait for somebody willing to listen to me talk but when I start talking I realise I don't really want to talk, to be listened to, this time I want to listen, I want to listen to what this person has to say. This person who is always listening to me, I also want to listen to that person.

Haha when I am bored, I go "Come, let's have a conversation." I am working on my conversations. They usually consist of me asking "What is your favourite colour?" "Superman or batman?" but it is a nice feeling, although very unexpected, when somebody returns the question, and proactively listens too.

Sometimes when you think about it, it is a bit stupid, but when somebody asks you "What is your best friend's favourite colour?", you find yourself stunned. You know how your best friend thinks, you know how your best friend might react to a certain situation, you know how your best friend works inside out, but you just don't know your best friend's favourite colour. It's one of those things so stupid and trivial we never bother to find out. Er most of the time your best friend cannot really decide on a favourite colour anyway.

So anyway Ubin Day, besides trying to dance to Thousand Legged Worm while watching Eddie and Justin dance to it too, was a thinking day for me too.

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Home:Word

2011-12-10T01:16:00.001+08:00

Hmm usually I don't bother to embed videos or songs or whatever on my blog because I know nobody will click play anyway because I also don't on other people's blogs. So forgive me a little this time.

The first time I heard this song, it touched a nerve somewhere inside, I knew this song was a special song. The second time I listened to it, I teared. The third time I cried.

Actually this song is mostly rap, which is something I don't have a habit of listening and cannot sit through 5 seconds of, but this one is different, somehow. I think it's because firstly I actually understand what they are saying and also because it has some sort of rhythmic melody to it too and I guess finally it must because these are heartfelt words.

I guess this song struck a chord within me because the past two weeks I was just in another place not Home. Er yes HTA was fun, even with the food poisoning, but at the end of the day, nothing is better than home.

And it reminds you of all those things that you know you should always remember but always forget. About appreciating your family, the little things they do for you, wordlessly, without hesitation. It reminds you that no matter how busy you are with life, you must always remind yourself to take a break and breathe in the dampness after it has rained. And your family will always be there.

CIBTC II - RC2

2011-12-03T22:59:00.001+08:00

So RC2 is finally over, finally being the wrong word to use actually. Two thirds of this course is over.

Looking back, actually although I dreaded it with my whole life, it didn't turn out that bad. RC1 day 1 took a long time to slowly get through yet the rest of the days feel by in the blink of an eye. I think when you've sort of really acclimatised to the lifestyle and environment, they readily pull you out of it and chuck you in another harsh environment. When you think it's the right time when you can start to enjoy yourself, you find yourself in a totally new environment again. Actually I was not quite ready to leave. But really give me the freedom to do things at my own speed, and to take a shower anytime I want, and I'll gladly leave HTA. Haha HTA is not a jail because the activities there are tough and tiring and you must forever be alert, but it is a jail because it deprives of you of personal freedom and space.

Actually RC2 was pretty brief and mostly it was just a culmination of what we have supposed to have learnt, assessments and all. Anyway, briefly, CA1 and CA2 were fine for me and after stalking everyone's marks, it seems better than average, so it's a good thing I guess. Although I though everybody would be less noob than me and have better hard skills and theory, I realised along the way that my assumption was based purely on their drill standard and it is an overgeneralisation but most schools focus on drills so much their cadets don't really know much about knots or things like that. But things like drills assessment... er I screwed up big time. Forever bad at drills. Once I master this drill, I immediately lose the results of my practice in another drill. Uniform inspection assessment went relatively well I would like to believe but actually I don't know my marks. Peeking at the marksheet, looks like I didn't get that many zeroes but ah well, we never know. But I think having mistakes with the sea combat uniform is easier to get away with than if you were to wear the land uniform.

Anyway, a bit of reflection on comfort zones :D The whole course is an adventure out of my comfort zones. In more ways than one. Firstly, drills has been the bane of my life since forever and even compared to people with noob drills, mine are just plain you know, nonexistent. Studying the drill manual at night, yet still not reaching standards the next day. It is a sort of lifestyle I got used to in the past two weeks. I am quite convinced I cheated my way into the course because I really don't have any coordination skills and even when people take one hour to learn a new drill, I take one day and more (case in point: I still cannot do hormat senjata).

The interacting-with-people-I--have-never-spoken-to part was not too hard for me because even though I am pretty petrified of being stuck in an awkward situation, I actually sadistically enjoy watching people being awkward so as long as I have the upperhand and the other party is being more awkward than me, I can be as strange as I like hoho. But haha there are so many interesting people in Delta that you really have to take your time to sieve out the diamonds in their personalities. No time to get to no everybody at a deeper level though which is quite sad lah.

Aiya my English has been quite weirded out ever since going for the course. My fingers have also grown amazingly stronger from carrying the stupid corporate bag everywhere. I meant, precious corporate bag.

Actually, I probably said this already, but actually the course is quite enjoyable even though it is also at the same time tough and tiring. It's the little things in between that keep you going, that gives the course a much more human touch, and makes it feel more like a journey than just a course. Like weird things the instructors do that you secretly discuss with those on the same wavelength (actually on me and Yan Han are on the same wavelength) and the laughter at random moments, at stupid funny and lame comments. The never ending support from everybody, people you have known for four years, people you have known for two weeks only, people you only got to know an hour ago. It is an enjoyable journey, to grow. It is an enriching journey, to grow and witness growth. But mostly, it is a heartening journey, to grow, to witness growth and to grow together.

CIBTC I - RC1

2011-12-03T19:44:00.001+08:00

Yeah lah okay.

I am back from RC1 of CIBTC. Left RC2, ATC, rehearsal, investiture. Ah haha this journey has turned out to be more exciting than I thought it would be. Naturally it is also stressful and tiring and tough but I don't feel like giving up at all. Er what, it is not that tough until I have to give up. You know how friction works, you know how things can only move with friction, we can only better ourselves and improve with difficulties and obstacles so actually I really am enjoying the toughness of it, probably the first time in my life I have continually pushed myself beyond my limits, mentally and physically.

I don't really know how to explain this, how to talk about why even though it is tough tiring and stressful, it is also really enjoyable. Naturally, the other factor is really the support you get around you. Everybody in the course don't hesitate to help each other. Like my drills suck and I was trying to learn Yang Tinggi commands for the whole day and I kept disturbing whoever was unlucky to sit beside me and nobody got annoyed with me. Even when I was at the water cooler some random guy was helping me clarify too. And like when you have to go take logs or disappear somewhere there is always somebody that automatically takes your bag for you, you don't have to ask, somehow your bag disappears from your hand naturally. It's not really a big kind of support but it is the small things everywhere that makes the course a lot easier to go through, somehow.

Okay so lah I don't think I was very prepared for the course in terms of hard skills but nevermind the course is for me to learn, everyday I find out there's more to learn that I never knew, every night I try to learn even more, read my course manuals, in the hope that tomorrow there will be less for me to learn, but no, never. I wrote this in my reflections, about stepping out of my comfort zones, the one place I hate and fear to step into is drills (and naturally so, long story) but I guess the course sort of forced me to step out of my comfort zone already, not completely yet though, I'm getting there slowly. Yeah anyway in 5 days I've learnt more drills than I've ever had in my 4 years and although I still cannot bang yeah, everyday I make lesser and lesser mistakes in drills. Er I am very bad at learning drills I realise, what people use 5 mins to get, I need half an hour (point, arms drills) or more and sometimes I have nightmares about my drills going wrong, but actually they still go wrong the next day.

Campcraft is still okay. I think my mental capacity has decreased due to lack of sleep or something though. Was trying to do diagonal lashing, which is normally not a problem for me, and I was stuck forever because somehow I just couldn't see where to turn the twine around and kept going round where the frapping was supposed to go instead and kept untying argh until the CII came to help me, which means my noobness must have been obvious enough. Cannot even see three perpendicular planes anymore. Sigh...

Lectures were mostly okay. Er what, come on I'm a History student, if there's one thing I can sit through, it has to be lectures. No matter how boring it is. I mean... no matter how anticlimax it is. But you really get to see the lecturing style of the various CIIs and secretly you hope that when it is your turn one day, actually you hope you won't be like them.

Otherwise, yeah. I would like to proclaim that Delta squad is the best squad, but to be fair, I don't really know how the other squads are performing. I think it is our good fortune to be blessed with two very good CIIs. One er although a bit annoying at times (sshhh), actually I admit that he is quite astute in his observations etc (must be the IB training), and despite the sarcasm that overflows from every word, okay I will stop here. The other one is very funny in a genuine way and me and Yan Han are probably the only ones laughing over every little thing he says or does (but to be fair, Saman laughs over every not-funny thing the former CII does). Compared to the glimpse I have of the other groups' CIIs, haha okay fine, all have their pros and cons.

Delta squad is very supportive and helpful, but to be fair, in this course, who isn't? I think what makes us special, is the amount of rubbish some people say. Yeah but it builds up the atmosphere and turns what might have been serious atmospheres into friendly environments. I think we are definitely one squad already. But the harder question is how to help others perform, not just perform yourself. How to push others, not just push yourself. Push others in front of you and pull others along with you.

Okay aiya super tired already. Chionged ATC proposal from morning to afternoon. Not my job, but my responsibility = saikang. At least when you do saikang yourself you can make sure it's perfect. And must go kiwi boots, understand drills manual, practice, study, mug, do homework.

it is the start of something new

2011-11-27T23:49:00.001+08:00

I think it's kind of creepy how the same ideas and same thoughts always seem to coincide between people whether they know it or not. I find it creepier when they coincide with my own life. "I was just thinking that this morning," sometimes I secretly think to myself. Sometimes it's a frustrating feeling that becomes released because suddenly you find out somewhere someone, they have the same thoughts as you, the same ideas, going through the same things as you. Sometimes when you get used to it, you become disappointed because suddenly you come to another sudden realisation, this person is not as omniscient as you assumed so. But there was never any reason that person should have been, any person should have been, always there at the right time to say your feelings and inner thoughts for you.

But to simplify things. Actually we are all going through the same things in life and why sometimes I find myself applauding silently for a virtual acquaintance, is that he or she dares to put into words (or sometimes, is able to put into words) what I normally dare not (or can't). It's not a matter of whether it is there or not because it is. It is only a matter of admitting it is there or not which sometimes we unsuccessfully attempt and successfully fail at.

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In other news, uniform collection for my three week long grasp at ambiguity only really felt like the real start of yeah my three week long grasp at ambiguity, when in truth this journey and decision started long ago from when I played around with the idea in my head, to when I kept changing my final decision (talk about final), to when I accepted it for final but pretended it wasn't, to when I filled in the form perhaps on a whim, to the confirmation email, to the dinner that sort of made me more anxious. A lot of points where it should have already started, and now there is a more solid grasp of things. It really does feel more real, like it's really going to happen. But really it hasn't sunk in.

yes, the rgs pinafore is uncomfortable

2011-11-26T18:33:00.001+08:00

To whoever who googled about whether the rgs pinafore is comfortable or uncomfortable, if you come back again, THE RGS PINAFORE IS NOT COMFORTABLE AT ALL. This is one of those stupid things nobody talks about but since you asked, I shall tell you, why the rgs pinafore might possibly be one of the most uncomfortable uniforms in this planet. Aish maybe not that bad yet.

Anyway, the first obvious reason is that it is two-layered. Which means hot and stuffy. Generally you sweat in Singapore no matter what you wear as long it's outdoors and not raining. But with the rgs pinafore, you sweat more and stink more. It is not a very comfortable feeling.

2) The Shirt inside always rides up then you have to pull it down again. After two years, somehow it stopped happening for me. Or I just stopped noticing it.

3) The material is very light (trying to make the stuffiness more bearable) but as a result, your pinafore becomes lopsided the moment you put anything into your pocket. Which is why the Kool Kids never put anything in their pocket and leave their wallets and handphones everywhere and forget to take them afterwards. I initially just put everything into my pocket too, but the imbalanced feeling is very annoying so I converted. Yeah and besides that, your pinafore will have this lump of stuff on one side and the other side won't have... imbalanced!

4) The belt.

Well, I hoped that proved informative on whether the rgs pinafore is comfortable or not. Answer: no. In the first month of rgs, I initially thought "hey if I become a prefect I'll upgrade to a more comfortable uniform!" But that naturally changed after meeting real prefects, and er well, safe to say, I would have never make the cut.

In rgs, they teach you all good essays have a counter point. Why would the rgs pinafore be comfortable?

1) The first button is unbuttoned (except with tie) so more breathable space thankfully although I don't know how that makes up for all the other uncomfortable-ness.

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In other news, actually usually nobody reads my blog during the holidays, but er it seems more people are reading my blog than during normal holidays. I actually don't know why I'm explaining this but let's just assume all of you all are my close friends okay. Actually er maybe it's just the same people refreshing my pageviews. Anyway, in the next three weeks I will be entering the birthplace of doom for a three-week torture course. Hopefully it turns out not as bad as I think it will be and maybe even fun (!) but it's always safer to expect the worst.

Naturally I am lazy to schedule any posts for your reading entertainment (because it is not my job to entertain you haha although sometimes I find it entertaining myself). But please stay tuned if you like my cleaning escapades haha. I think trying to organise my life must be a life-long endeavour.

cupboard spring cleaning!

2011-11-25T00:14:00.001+08:00

Going for three weeks of torture, body and mind, especially mind, on Monday. Wish me luck. I don't quite understand still why I chose to go for this. I can list out the reasons. But I don't know if I believe in them. Anyway, aiya heck.

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Anyway. Holidays (or what remains of it after deducting my three week torture course and ten day holiday) is the standard time to spring clean. I am a hoarder and messy bug. But this is the tidiest place in my entire life. My room cupboards which I never actually use regularly. They... are for storage okay.

Emptying out everything so I can wipe the cupboards clean.

All my mess. Actually these are all my memories. Books. A lot of books. (Never knew I was such a book person right). Things from primary school until now. Boxes acting as time capsules for both primary schools. One for RGS does not exist. I cannot find a box of appropriate size. (But the real reason is, I didn't have a lot of physical keepsakes left at the end of 4 years). Playing cards. Actually there isn't a lot of sentimental physical attachments outside of my time capsules. There are the remnants of the Taiwan trip though.

And after one afternoon of procrastination, waiting for the cupboard to dry, and rearranging everything. I think I created more space woohoo!

Yay so cute! Japanese 不倒翁s from my trip to Japan in P6 of which I remember nothing. Putting all these random things in front of my books effectively do not allow me to conveniently reach my books. :( Er haha these are the books I have never read/probably will not read in the next five years.

These are all my beloved 幾米 books! Er yes actually his books fill me with a feeling of peace and contentment. Haha yes maybe about time to cross that off the before i die list. or maybe after I get more more more! At the top of my stack is the only 寂地 book I have because she doesn't have many anyway.

This is my cupboard! Let me introduce you to my cupboard! Aiya skip if you don't want to read lor.

AFA11

2011-11-20T20:49:00.001+08:00

Is coincidence just our name for those moments when we are most truly aware of the fearful symmetry of existence?

Hehe just read this sentence in the appendix of a batman and robin graphic novel and it is one epic sentence. You know the best lines don't appear in movies or tv dramas or real life, they appear in comic books. Everything is just too epic in comic books.

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In other news, this seems like a very long time ago, but I went for AFA11. If you don't know what that is, you are a complete n00b, just like me. Er... I mean... this is just not our cup of tea. It actually stands for Anime Festival Asia 2011 and it's just... an anime convention. Basically it is very boring, there are ten million stalls selling merchandise for ten million animes and also for brainwashing organisations like AKB48. Er I mean, it is actually quite interesting because wow I never knew real otakus existed in Singapore.

Yeah it was quite boring for me because watching animes is not really my hobby. I tried okay. After coming back from AFA I tried to watch あの日見た花の名前を僕達はまだ知らない which is a very long name for an anime and er I guessed the whole story in one episode no thanks to the spoilers my sister keeps dropping along the way. "She's dead right? -_-" "Yeah she's dead!" "It is too obvious!!!" I went online to check whether I guessed correctly and guess what I did! Although I didn't actually guess Menma's task was to make Jintan smile again or something like that. Oops sorry for the spoiler.

Menma...
Who I still cannot recognise haha

Yeah and I kept confusing Black Rock Shooter with Hatsune Miku and getting scolded by my sister. At first I thought you know it was purely my fault but I discovered that it's not completely my fault okay! Apparently BRS originated from a Hatsune Miku song haha. My sister said that the creator of BRS was touched by a Miku song. Hey give me credit for knowing who Hatsune Miku is at least.

So many Mikus...
Too many

Okay in other news, basically the convention is just you know anime-related merchandise and some random stores selling katanas (swords) and er animal hats and you know cute, almost-cosplayish-costumes.

There was the Moe Moe Kyun Maid Cafe and some difficult name Butler Cafe. Of course I have no money for such wuliao-ness right. But actually I thought it was quite cool and interesting so I tried to peep hoho. The Maid Cafe had windows and a back door thing which is just a hole. As expected, most of the customers were cheekopehs er I mean guys. It didn't look very exciting... The Butler Cafe was harder to peep into because they had no windows and they curtained off the back door :( So sad. So I couldn't tell what happens inside but from my guesses, not much. The queues were interesting to observe since both were side by side and on one side all guys and all the other side all girls.

Cosplayers! Wow first time seeing so many cosplayers. Yeah I know I very noob thanks. I thought that was one of the cooler parts of AFA although nobody specifically invited them, they just self-invited themselves. Basically my journey through the massive amounts of cosplayers just consisted of my asking my sister, "who is that? With the poofy hair? How about that one with the white hair? Oh is that Miku? Why are there so many Mikus? Look there's three in this small area already. Eh look that one so cool! Eh why got no power rangers ah?" For the record, there were too many with poofy hair although there was one with hair that stuck out like a sword ready to stab somewhere at the back of his head, there were a few guys crossdressing as girls I don't know why they would want to do that, I found out Snow Miku is a Hatsune Miku with white hair, apparently the fashion this year is Hatsune Miku and last year was Black Rock Shooter, there was a girl that cosplayed as a pokemon, there were power rangers but I had no destiny with them, we saw a masked rider though.

One of the cooler cosplayers
I personally thought so
Except I have no idea what
he's supposed to be

The cooler things was probably like the nico nico douga live streaming thing that they were doing. Because you the comments were all very funny early on (by the next day the comments got boring already) and it amuses me, netizens' obsessions with random people like laptop guy and toaster guy.

All in all, I spent nothing except money on the $8 ticket, and my sister spent over $100 buying nendodroids and some tribute artwork to BRS and still regrets not going for the concert segment and buying more nendodroids. She doesn't understand what "save up for next year" means. I thought you know I would buy something too you know, for the sake of commemorating the event or something. But I couldn't actually find anything I particularly liked seeing that I'm not an anime otaku either. Perhaps the closest would be Gundam because if I really had to pick a favourite anime, then it would have to be Gundam Seed Destiny. But problem with Gundam... so many series. Anyway I'm not very interested in fixing a Gundam up. No, they don't make Lacus Clyne nendodroids... But my favourite is still Cagalli and Athrun...

So many gundams :O

I hope you enjoyed laughing at my noobiness. You know if you happen to be the un-noob reader.