I’ll be teaching at the Attic Institute. If you’re in the area and interested, please register. It is a fabulous organization and I’m honored to be a part of it.

Specifically, I’ve plucked out three particular topics that I think will be helpful to writers.

• The first class (“Cool Tools for Writers”) will use my Writing a Novel When Busy video to begin a discussion about the possibilities for writers beyond Microsoft Word. Even though most of us geeks intimately know the billions of alternatives, many of my writer friends still use Microsoft Word as their only tool. I hope to open a few doors with this course… without actually getting too in depth… yet.
• The second one (“Obsession x Voice”) will be a little more abstract as I take Gruber & Merlin’s brilliant SXSW discussion (which I summed up in my Obsession x Voice video) and talk to students about ways of focusing and enhancing their creative projects. This course is a little risky in that I arrogantly suggest this technique can work for something very specific (like making one character in a novel more interesting), or something very general (like finding a compelling niche for your blog). I hope it works out because I feel that this OxV mindset can help an artist in so many ways.
• The third class (“Scrivener”) is the most concrete of the three courses. I just teach Scrivener Scrivener Scrivener. I won’t torture them with my one hour Scrivener video, but I will project my computer on the big screen as I walk them through a few of my projects. I’ve helped quite a few writers ramp up with Scrivener and I find that they sometimes need to see it in-action in order to get that AHA! moment. I hope to AHA! the shit out of them.

I’m excited and nervous. I’ve taught writing workshops before, but I’ve never used my video series in tandem with teaching. Who knows… perhaps it will help launch a new “I’m a Failed Teacher” series…

I don’t know what people officially classify these things but I call them computers. And I do heavy-duty writing (or writing-related) tasks on all three of these computers. But I do slightly different things with each one. So I stupidly end up carrying all three around with me most of the time. Bad on my back (and bad for the way people mock me), but good for my writing.

And here is roughly how I use them:

The great organizer and assessor: MacBook Air

So this is the one that is least surprising as a writing tool. A laptop computer. But I don’t do so much straight-up writing on this thing. I use it to organize and assess my writing projects. I keep my novels in Scrivener and so I often use my computer to look at my novel at a high-level. For example, I’ll look at the novel with Scrivener’s outline view or the corkboard view, or I’ll assess how chapters or scene transitions are going, or look at pacing issues, or point of view issues, or problems with the characters in my story, or realize that I have a nasty habit of letting sentences run on forever… I also use my laptop when I’m interacting with several programs at once. For instance, if I need to modify a screenshot and then convert it to a different format and then insert it into a document and then email it to my editor. I can move files around between programs more easily on the laptop. Basically I connect the dots on this computer. But I don’t often create the dots here.

The great in-your-pants solution: iPhone

I make sure that my writing is synced with Dropbox or iCloud so I can get to it from this device (or really any device). I can also do basic project and task management from here (even though I prefer to do the more heavy-duty task management on either of the other two devices). Basically this is my ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE computer. When I’m in the bathroom stall at my day job, this is the only computer that I can sneak in there without people thinking I’m crazy or disgusting (more so).

The great do-one-damn-thing-at-a-time appliance: iPad

I saved my favorite computer for last. This is the computer I use to focus on a particular thing and get it done. There are many clean, well-designed, undistracting apps on this computer (too many to mention). I’ll write scenes for my novel with my iPad. I’ll write short stories or essays. I’ll write blog posts. I’ll edit my writing. I also sometimes do outlining on my iPad. If I’m writing something from scratch, I may use an external keyboard for speed. But often times, I don’t need an external keyboard because I don’t need to type at full speed for the kind of writing/editing/reading that I do on it. I also find that task management and project management is great on this thing with apps like OmniFocus and TaskPaper. It’s a pleasure to do uninterrupted work on the iPad.

The great rationalization

Before you send me an angry note stating that I can do task X perfectly fine with device Y, keep in mind that I’m (slightly) less dumb than you think: I realize almost any of these tasks could be done with the other computers. There is a bunch of overlap between these devices (and the overlap is only growing), but for me it’s a matter of where these tasks feel most natural, most pleasurable, most productive.

So… have I convinced you of each of these devices’ worth? Or… have I convinced you that I am stupid enough to buy anyfuckingthing that Apple sells?

Other Person: Check this out. It’s just like a regular popsicle stick, except it costs $799. And it has the Apple logo on it.

Me: It’s amazing!!! I suddenly need one! When can I pre-order!?!?!?!?!

So here are the two podcasts:

• Mac Power Users: Workflows with Yuvi Zalkow. Where I talk about how I use my Mac & iPhone & iPad to make presentations and write novels.
• Mikes on Mics: How Packed is Yuvi’s Mac? Where I talk about how many good (and bad) apps I have sitting around on my Mac.

Want some more info about these podcasts and the people behind them?

Mikes on Mics is a relatively new podcast with two great folks who talk about productivity (but even better, they talk about their failures in productivity). They also mandate that you drink a beverage at the start of the show. I should say that we did two back-to-back podcasts (only the first one goes live today) and I get a little sloppy by the end of the second one. For good or for bad, I’m coherent this round… I’ve been friends with Mike Schechter for about a year now and he has a great website, bettermess.com, where he turns over all sorts of issues, including productivity insights, ADHD topics, and occasionally he helps me understand what was actually comprehensible from my own videos. I’ve just recently gotten to know Mike Vardy, who also does a bunch of interesting work online in addition to a book on the way.

Mac Power Users is an awfully popular podcast that has been around for a few years. David Sparks and Katie Floyd do a fabulous job of really digging into how you can use the Mac (as well as iPhone/iPad) to get a shitload [my wording] of useful work done. This show is single-handedly responsible for most of my favorite apps that I own. I’ve also enjoyed David’s books about getting work done on your iPad and on your Mac.

Fabulous fun on both these shows. (Though I admit I’m scared to listen to these episodes for fear of being horrified to hear my ramblings…)

Without doing a lick of research (or even bothering to read his book), I swiped Malcolm Gladwell’s notion that it takes 10,000 hours to master a particular craft. (Don’t quote me on this!) I just love the idea of that number because it is a damn big number. And I think it is roughly true. It takes a long time for most of us mortals to get good at writing.

And so here is my not-entirely-educated take on it:

Click here to view other “I’m a failed writer” videos.

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Wait. First, here’s my quick book update:

I’ve been schmeckel deep in book publishing matters and I haven’t had time to keep up with much else. (More on that later, when I have more perspective on it.) In any case, I’ve started an events page where I plan to put events as the book release approaches. Still a bit premature for book release information but I wanted to get a few known events on there. By the way, the novel will be released on August 14th. It will also be available in various digital formats in mid-July.

OK. Now let me elaborate on my editor/publisher obsession:

My publisher has already committed to publishing my book. They’ve already paid me the advance. We’ve signed the contract that assures me (as I understand it) a lifetime of riches. They’re in it. At the same time, they need the book to be as good as it can be. They’re a small publisher and they can’t fuck around with second-rate books. So my editor at the publishing house is willing to kick some ass to make it better. No hand holding. No hugging. (Definitely no spooning, though I’m tempted to ask again.) Just make the damn book better. This of course doesn’t mean that the editor has to be an asshole. But it means that he needs to be brutally honest, at least where it counts. For instance, him criticizing my baldness will (most likely) not help the book. But if he doesn’t think the ending delivers on the promise of the story, then he better help me understand this problem so that I can work like hell to fix it.

It turns out that this is a pretty productive place to be: to love a book but also to be viciously committed to smacking the thing into the best shape possible.

When my editor told me that he didn’t really like the end (and by ‘end’ he meant the last 1/4 of the damn book!), I had a few serious days of moping (read: drinking). And then I got back to the table. Actually the work happened all over the place – not just at the table… on the toilet (which obviously won’t surprise any of my readers), but also while walking around, while driving to work, while reading other books, while unloading the dishwasher… I had to retool my schedule as much as possible to accommodate a tight deadline – four weeks to incorporate hundreds of edits in addition to fixing the flawed ending. (I should clarify that my gut instinct was that he was right in his feedback, even if it took some time to digest it.) Perhaps I’m not able to judge how successful I was, but I believe the book is far better because of this experience.

And now I wish everyone could get this experience – not just when working with a publisher on a soon-to-be-published book. It probably takes a certain kind of personality and certain kind of experience to truly look at your own work with an eye like this (I usually can not), but it is easier to look at a fellow writer’s work with this mindset. Now if you hate the other person’s writing then this of course won’t work, but I’ve worked with many writers who have writing that I really like, but that also needs some real attention.

If you’ve already got a great writing group or writing partner, then you’re on the right track. But it’s more than that… I think very often writers don’t use this mindset to approach another writer’s work… I think we writers need this kind of loving yet viciously honest (and focused) feedback as much as we can get it. (I added the word ‘focused’ in there because I think it’s essential that the feedback deals with the most important problems first. I don’t want vicious feedback on my comma splices if my narrator is an intolerable schmuck who makes a reader want to throw the book across the room in frustration after 12 pages. Then again… that would be a pretty cool reaction.)

How about this way of summing up the publisher’s mindset: If you’ve already bought the rights to publish this person’s book with a limited budget and now you must work like mad to make it better where it counts, how would you approach the situation differently?

• I’m totally erratic on Facebook. I’ve missed important births and deaths due to my erraticness.
• I have an interest in Pinterest that apparently isn’t strong enough for me to try it. Or even to understand what it is.
• Google+… I don’t use except to apologize to people who have sadly included me in their circle.
• I signed up but still can’t get rolling with Goodreads.
• But… I love Twitter.

I haven’t been on Twitter long but I find it a fabulous place to loiter. Though in order for me to enjoy it, I follow some rules. Now keep in mind that my goal is just to enjoy the thing, not to maximize followers or sell something. Sure, it would be nice if three or more of my followers bought my book, and I’m sure that I’ll ocassionally mention book release details, but it sounds painful to think about making $$$ on twitter. My goal is to enjoy the experience enough to actually stick around.

MY BASIC TWOOTERING [sic] PHILOSOPHY

I think of Twitter as a 140-character venue for storytelling. I will sometimes point people to a cool article or to one of my shameful videos, but mostly I try to treat it like a standalone place to tell micro-stories or one-liners. (If you follow me, you know I also have a weak spot for intentionally bad writing or productivity advice.) I’ll also retweet things I appreciate.

So keeping that philosophy in mind, here are my not-always-followed rules:

(Oh. Before you start. I’ll be sprinkling in tweets that I’ve appreciated over the months. They aren’t necessarily associated with specific rules. Click a tweet to see more tweets from that author.)

THE RULES

1. NO HASH TAGS. I don’t care what smart marketing people tell me about the benefits of hash tags… they look ugly. Occasionally, I’ll use a hash tag if there is a really good reason (like for a specific event). But with so little room to tell a story, why clutter it with awkward codewords? Using hash tags is like ending a poem with your grocery list. (OK. Bad analogy.) Though I admit some people know how to use hash tags as a punchline to their tweet. I accept that. When it is funny.



2. RETWEET QUALITY MATERIAL. Not much to elaborate on here. Though I probably should do this more often. I’m a self-absorbed asshole.



3. ARROGANTLY USE PRIVATE LISTS. It may seem two-faced, but I often use a private list to check-in on people. This list initially has everyone I follow but if a person talks too much (say, 20 tweets an hour) or they get too self-promotional or too preachy or start obsessing over something that doesn’t interest me, I drop them from this private list. I still check-in with everyone I follow, but that only occurs when I have more time. The private list is my way of quickly checking in.



4. LIMIT WHO I FOLLOW BACK. I admit at first I followed anyone that was foolish enough to follow me. But I’ve gotten less desperate now. So I only follow people either (a) who have a hell of an ability to say something funny or smart on Twitter, OR (b) who are competent on Twitter and also have an interesting blog or book or I admire them in some other way. I don’t follow people who #use #more #hash #tags #than #content. I don’t tend to follow organizations (I get standard news stuff elsewhere) unless the organization has put a hell of a tweeter in charge of their Twitter presence. And sometimes I don’t follow back simply because I got too lost and confused that particular week. It’s not you — it’s me.



5. IMMEDIATELY UNFOLLOW ANYONE WHO…. says something horrifying. Like something unironically racist or hateful. Or something positive about Santorum.
6. NO MAINTENANCE OR ANALYTICS. I don’t spend time scrutinizing my followers or who I should follow. I don’t do analytics. I don’t check if people follow me back. I don’t worry that some people I follow never say a thing. To hell with all that analysis. I just want a Twitter feed full of cool people.

Of course the whole Mike Daisey issue is troubling — it was a mistake for This American Life to use his material — and the effect of Daisey’s words is profound (see John Gruber’s piece for an insightful elaboration) but what also struck me about this episode was the rarity of witnessing such a sincere apology (I’m talking about Ira Glass’s apology, not Mike Daisey’s quasi-apology), along with such a thoughtful and transparent assessment of how it went wrong. If you haven’t heard it yet, you should check it out.

Ira Glass begins the show like this:

I’m coming to you today to say something that I’ve never had to say on our program.

He then explains the situation. What they knew, where the fact checking worked, and where it fell through. He takes responsibility. He explains what they should have done. He apologizes. And then, the show goes into great detail about exactly what was true and what was fabricated. It’s pretty fascinating.

But then. He talks to Mike Daisey directly. Asks him why he did what he did. There are some pretty long uncomfortable silences while they speak that make you feel like maybe you shouldn’t be listening in on this conversation. And then Ira Glass says this to Mike Daisey:

I have such a weird mix of feelings about this, because I simultaneously feel terrible, for you, and also, I feel lied to. And also I stuck my neck out for you. You know I feel like, I feel like, like I vouched for you. With our audience. Based on your word.

Holy shit. How often does this happen? Such humanity in this moment. Even while Ira Glass has to go through this messy and damaging situation, he feels terrible for the dude. Even so, he keeps at it, doing what he feels should be done.

I’ve always enjoyed listening to This American Life (and Ira Glass). But after this episode, I appreciate the show (and the man) more than ever. We need more of this (and voices like his) in our world.

The funny thing is that a key method I use to confront these big projects is so simple, so low-tech (so cheap in therapy costs!) that it almost seems like it’s cheating. And here it is:

I know, I know. It’s not the most profound idea. But I’m still amazed how much it helps. What about you? Do you have tricks like this?

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I went to AWP (Association of desperate Writers and desperate Writing Programs) this year with that platform stuff on my mind. (Was also thinking about if the wife would be furious with me for leaving her with the kids for four days.)

I ran into old friends, met some new folks, I drank far too much (as the old saying goes “beer then vodka then gin then bourbon then advil, you’re in the clear”), and I got a better feeling for what I consider non-shitty platformitude. (I’m just talking about the online face of platforms here…)

So here are three variants that I like from fellow writers I ran into at AWP.

1. the traditional platform, done well, done naturally

Author: Claire Bidwell Smith

She has a highly acclaimed memoir out right now. The book is described on her site as, “A resonant memoir of the ways untimely good-byes echo through the years by a writer who has considered every nuance of grief.” She is also a grief counselor. She has a blog where (it seems to me) she is having a conversation with her readers about grief. Not all the time, of course, but enough to see that she knows and respects her audience. This is what I imagine a good platform might look like. Her book, her career, her blog… they are all naturally connected.

2. social connectitude, done well, done naturally

Author: Cheryl Strayed

Cheryl is a mentor and friend. Her tremendous memoir is coming out on March 21. She doesn’t have a blog, but she has a gigantic network online, Facebook friends, Twitter followers. She also writes the highly regarded Dear Sugar column at the Rumpus. There are tons of reasons to expect this book to be giant when it comes out – she’s an incredible writer and many important people are excited about it – but it also helps that she has a ton of people in her social network. She is very supportive to other writers, promoting them more than herself. She also knows how to just have a friendly conversation online, without an agenda. (Because of this, she can accumulate 250 Facebook LIKEs faster than I can get my toddler to pee in a toilet.) The thing is that all this seems to fit with who she is.

As a side-note, read her famous Write Like a Motherfucker letter that spread like [insert something that spreads really fast] if you haven’t already.

3. the online storyteller is the offline storyteller

Author: Tod Goldberg

I’ve just begun looking into his writing and he’s a great writer. His tweets are funny as hell. His blog is funny as hell but also with poignant moments. (Plus, he gets to talk about things like the definition of ‘fucktard’.) His short stories have pieces of that humorous voice, but they’re also dark and potent and full of humanity. (He also has a bunch of novels, though I haven’t read them yet…) This is the kind of guy where I don’t think about it so much like a platform (he’d probably punch me in the face if he even knew I was using his name in the context of a ‘platform’) as much as he is being himself and he knows how to use his voice in these different (but related) ways.

where I pretend to bring things around

So that’s that: my completely incomplete assessment of platforms.

As for me, I don’t know what I’m going to do to convince more than thirty people to be interested in my book. My career is totally unrelated to my writerly life (if my boss reads this post then I owe you $20). My social connectitude is spotty. I don’t plan to blog five days a week. But I do know that the monthly videos are too damn fun and so I’m going to keep at it until they stop being fun (or I get arrested). I will also try to do this blog thingy once a week (but PLEASE kick my ass if it ever makes you nauseous).

I guess My Conclusion is that it’s probably healthy for authors to cover their ears and go la la la la la la la when people in the business say the word ‘platform’, but they also should think about how to get out there (physically or digitally) and engaged as much as possible without doing something that feels wrong or gross or forced. Some are blessed with obvious avenues, some are not. But do more than nothing.

Now the manuscript is with the typesetter. If I understand anything about the publication process, this is the part where a person carves out each letter from an old growth tree and then glues the letters (with Elmer’s glue) to a piece of parchment made from papyrus…

There are so many people to thank that I won’t even try to take that on right now. (The wife in particular deserves thanks. Imagine dealing with a toddler, a teenager, and a terror-stricken Yuvi all at the same time. Oh wait… why am I blogging about this? Aren’t I supposed to show appreciation to my wife in a distinctly non-blog-like manner?… I think my therapist said something about this before…)

Thank you for reading this little update. And don’t forget a shot of bourbon if all else fails.

Or even if it doesn’t…