Za'chomics

Journal: Bamboo House Korean BBQ

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 04 Aug 2019 14:30:00 +0000

The day we feasted like pigs! It was one Saturday afternoon when I texted my bro if he wanted to eat dinner together. The same question appeared every time.

Highlight of The Month: April 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 28 Jul 2019 10:40:00 +0000

Trying new stuff can be daunting. We can be so comfortable with the chicken rice store that we always go to. But, after days and months of eating that, it can be boring.

Highlight of The Month: March 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 12:11:00 +0000

March is an amazing month. I had a new mission of driving all the way to Ipoh for a company event. It was my first long distance drive. I wasn't sure of what to prepare.

Stories: Bracelet

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 11:42:00 +0000

I never thought of wearing a bracelet because it feels like a hindrance. Heck, I don't even wea a watch. I dislike how that part of my skin which is in contact with the watch would sweat.

Highlight of The Month: Feb 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 18 Jul 2019 08:28:00 +0000

This is probably the best month of the year by far. Because I get to fly back hometown and enjoy some lazy days with my family. The trip back home was better than usual because I timed it with my bro. So, the long 4 - 5 hours trip was not that boring and sucky.

Journal: Steamboat Adventure @ Village BBQ

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 Jun 2019 02:28:00 +0000

I always love all-you-can-eat steamboat buffet. It's like a unique hobby that I take pleasure in that I only partake rarely. It does come with a side effect thought. That is the feeling of regret and hating food after being stuffed like a stuffed toy.

So, my bro went to this Village BBQ place with a bunch of his friends two years back. One attractive thing about it is that they have this live prawn catching activity. You eat them fresh as how you caught them. My bro have told me about this a long time ago. I just kept it in my to do list till now.

Getting there is half the challenge. Using e-hailing services is cool but it would cost like 40 pieces of gold for the trip there. We didn't have our own mode of transport back then. Neither a donkey nor a horse.

Opportunity came and we finally have a way of getting there with the most comfortable means possible. Bro drove there after work. We arrived early and walked around to explore the place. The restaurant opens at 5pm. It was incredibly windy. It rained a short while after we arrived. We stormed the restaurant after and got a seat. We were the first to arrive.

We checked out the food that they have before going for our seat. They got huge clams, weird shaped white seashells, snail with weird giraffe pattern, normal clams, prawns and there's one cracked open with a chunk of flesh stuck to it. I'm excited to eat these weird animals.

After a few bites on their seafood, I've came to a conclusion that I only like the prawns thanks to their natural sweetness. The others tasted normal. It would be a huge upgrade to their tastes if they're cooked with ginger sauce or something. Boiling itself doesn't do justice to the potential that they have. My bro isn't exactly fond of seashells. There has been a news that someone got hospitalized for eating seashells that contain flesh-eating parasites. News like this really freaks people out. We ate some and I started to get sick of it. It tasted bland and not that tasty. It's better if it's cooked with spicy ginger sauce or something. Boiling and eating is only good for prawns and crabs. Speaking of crab, they're so small that it doesn't worth taking any. It's also dangerous for my tooth.

It was a non-stop mouth stuffing adventure. I ate more than I should. My bro gave up eating before me. The fruits were good. There's watermelon, guava and papaya. The ranking would go from watermelon to papaya and guava being third place because they're not sweet.

They also got this grill placed next to us to be shared with other customers. Because it was just me and my bro at that corner, we drag the grill thing closer to us so we don't have to get up if we want to smoke some skewers. The whole grill was just for us.

A couple suddenly came by and ask if we've done eating. We said yes and I proceeded to the counter to pay. It costed over 100 bucks for the two of us. I spent some time walking around trying to get my tummy feel better. As I walked, it gets harder. I'm bloated. Standing straight turns to be an impossible feat. I have a food baby. Is this how pregnant mother feels like? Bro went in a bakery across the road to check out some bread. I just walk around outside the shop regretting and trying to not die. It was late and bro had to go work tomorrow. So, we got into the car again and drove back. I kept quiet for the first few moments of the ride because the food baby is really doing something weird to me.

I burped little by little. With every burp, I released the horrendous souls of the weird animals that I ate. After a few burps, I felt better. I am no longer a bloated balloon. One thing for sure is that I've never exceeded my limit like this. Made me hate steamboat at that moment. I was at one of my weakest point of my life. A sniff of the smell of food would have destroyed me. You gotta be really careful with the water that you drink. The first few gulp is like Thai massage to your throat. Soothing and pleasant. Right until it reaches the stomach where all the mix of food is, that's when the bloating starts.

So, will I ever go back to this place again? The attraction being the live prawn catching is fun but it's extremely limited. It ended too quickly and the restaurant kinda being stingy with restocking the live prawns there. It was an eye-opening experience especially among kid. There's also unique seashells around with fun skewer grills to cook things up. Those are like the good points. Deducting the distance and the price which is over 100 pieces of gold for two person including tax... it's kinda not worth it in the end. Good experience though. At least there's some unique factors to it.

Highlight of The Month: Jan 2019

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 12 Apr 2019 05:45:00 +0000

This is a journal noting down on the good things that happen within the month. It can be little things but that's alright because big things are made of little things. In life, there's ups and downs. That's the seasoning of life. I'll just put in the good ones here because it would help me feel better when I read back... hopefully.

But, wait! Writing about January stuffs when it's about the mid of April now? "You must have superior memory that surpass the average human minds!" You probably wondered this. Or not. It's okay. I would like to imagine some people would thought of that because at the end of the day, I just want to feel like a super hero sometimes. *teary eyes

I have this handy dandy phone that have been with me for around 4 years now. It has sustained many falls, bruises and scratches. Yet it still works fine. Kinda ... it had a great fall in March and I had to bring it to fix. Anyway, I always write notes in it. That's how I keep record of things I wanna draw or write.

People like to setup new year's resolution but not me. I made some lists. I made a wish list of things that I want to buy to reward myself. The things also must fulfill two criteria. First, it must be useful. No fancy items like a toy mask or things that I would rarely use. Second, it must be at the best price. Sometimes, non-branded item works better than branded ones. For example, sports shoes. I bought a branded one but the base tore apart. The padding came off, revealing the vulnerable cushion side of the base. It was horrifying. Maybe it's not original? I don't know. Paid about RM120 for it while it's on sale. With the same price, I can buy 3 not so popular branded sports shoes.

Anyway, I learnt to buy shoes that doesn't have paddings on the base because that part will certainly come off first. I think this has been a thing going on the industry. A lot more designers realized that and a lot of shoes sold out there don't have any paddings anymore. Just a single threaded foam that would wear with more uses. It's the best the world has to offer with current technology I guess.

I also made a bucket list that lists down what I wanted to do. One of them is getting 50k followers on Instagram. There's also other stuffs like try more new food, have more short trips... These are just planned things that I wanna do for this year. It's good to have goals and measurable at that.

On this month, I received a letter from the company announcing my increment. It's just 3%. Kinda low. I consulted Gina on this and she said that it's normal. Better than nothing. I guess so. It's a new field for me after all. My previous IT job could give 6% and more. So, it's like that huh...

Then, there's approval of Adsense for this website. Though it's earning like 0 at this moment but it opens up to new doors. It's extra monetization means!

I also managed to cross off one item from the bucket list - celebrate by eating nice stuffs at least at 3 places. So far, I've been to a night market with my bro. The food there is not cheap at all. But, it's a new try. It was raining when we arrived so we waited in the car. Then the rain slows down to a drizzle. That's when we start storming the place with our umbrella. There's very huge chunks of roast pork, fresh seafood, produce and food. We bought chicken dim sum (not so good), take away noodles (RM 7+ which is quite pricy), bottled guava drink (no added sugar, healthy but guava is rarely sweet so you can guess how it tastes like), dumpling (for breakfast), bananas, jackfruit ... that's all I could remember. We also ate at EatMor, an all-you-can-eat steamboat buffet restaurant. We ate as much as we could. It has huge variety of option but it isn't exactly perfect. The crabs aren't fresh. They don't have the natural sweetness to it. The minced garlic has a rotten smell probably coz soaked in water for too long. My bro highlighted that to one of their staffs and they replaced the whole garlic bowl. We also tried a pork bone broth restaurant. It was very flavorful. I like the herbal soup taste. It ain't cheap but it's a good treat to have once a while. That's three good eats within a month. That's like way too much and over because I was thinking to have separate sessions of it which is spread out through the entire year. Oh well, I enjoyed it. That's what matters.

Started a mini project which I have yet to finish because lack of time and motivation that fuels it. But, I started it. That's the first step! It's about making short animated stickers for Giphy. I find it hard to be creative on this because it has to be something that people can use to express about something. It's a new thing to me but no rush. I'll get it done!

For my baby car, it always get pooped on. So, I made a simple car wash liquid using dish soap and baking soda. I'm not sure how it would be like if used long term. There's warning that certain brand might harm the car's paint. But, it's just a trial for me. I need it to wash the car sometimes when there's like stubborn poop stain on it. There are very sucky animals out there that violently poops on people's car. Anyway, I made a small bottle of it and keep it in the trunk. I use it to wash the car sometimes when it's unbearable to see how many poop stains there are. Besides, I want to get them while it's fresh because it gets harder to remove as they become more solid as time passes.

It's a good month overall.

Comic: Raw Food

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Feb 2019 15:10:00 +0000

My colleague friend treated me mangoes. It was so yummy. He had a few slices in a zipper bag. Because he understood that it's a bit troublesome to wash hands and he didn't had toothpick with him at that time yet he still wanted to treat me. So, he push a slice out from the opening of the zipper bag and I had to bite it with my face a few inches away from his hands. It was romantic.

Bromance. Don't get it wrong!

Animals Meet Handlettering!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 07:08:00 +0000

So, I was exploring hand lettering one day and I really like them. Here's some animals recreated with the alphabetical letters that make them up! You can also find their merch's here.

This Is What Happens When You Waste Food

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 06:52:00 +0000

They come back as zombies! So, never waste food! I made these to practice my drawing skills. I also posted it on here- if you would like some merchs :)

15 Fun & Casual Puns That Will Make Your Day

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 03:16:00 +0000

I draw comics and also create designs! Here's some of the practices I made when I first started to learn Illustrator.

Journal: 2018 Milestones

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Jan 2019 04:12:00 +0000

2018 has been an amazing year! There's mix of amazing things I've been through and also the dark side of it. But, I'll be writing the good things only because positive vibe only. I'll be breaking down the highlights according to month. Not all months are filled with adventures and missions because there's work demand in certain periods. Anyway, let's see how 2018 was like:

January - This is the month of lost. I have been freelancing for some time and I thought I should get a proper job with my freelancing experiences. This is where I learn to handle rejection and not to dwell in it.

February - Went for more job interviews. Learnt the different patterns of employers and their ideologies on their company. There's some things I can see that I want in my employer and developing poor company culture is not one of them.

March - Got a new job in graphic design after being rejected in other 5 job applications. First step of changing my whole life.

April - I've been focusing on this job and enjoyed the security that a job provides.

May - Doing nothing new here. Perhaps, I got too comfortable with my job?

June - Malacca trip! Went there with my buddy, Mob. We walked a lot and he has been complaining that his legs hurt. Mine are still fine. This show that I have better stamina! But, my neck hurts. Need to improve on my posture.

July - Made my first travel video from the trip. Managed to insert some video transitions in there. Looking good all the way. Also, reached 10k followers on Instagram for Za'chomics. Wohoo! I also bought mud crab to eat as well because I'm craving for them. But, it doesn't taste good. One of the claws are too hard to break and we don't exactly have a hammer for that. So, we had to throw it away.

August - Started bursting night run. I can run for 7 to 8 laps continuously. I can only do 2 laps before. I probably can go more laps if I push it but I don't want to exceed the 45 time limit. I got other things to do!

September - My birthday month! Bro got me a sports shirt which is something that I always wanted.

October - The company has celebration going on and I have to prepare a lot of artworks to be printed and displayed. There was one Saturday, we have to go and work from 5 pm till 1 am. Luckily there's still e-hauling car services that I can rely on. If not, I'll have to stay there till the event day which is the very next morning of it. And, I'll look like a panda.

November - Right after the company's celebration, there's the new launch of another company. There's more work to be done and I have been too busy to do anything on my personal projects. But, it's fine. Despite the business of October and November, I do enjoy it. I have a bunch of colleagues that I can make jokes and laugh with even when we're all stressed out.

December - My car finally arrived! My baby! I learn some stuffs about the car on how to make use it and make things better. I'm thought of a list of things to be put into the car. I also have been thinking some DIY things to make because I want to make full use of the minimal space that I have and I don't see anything in the market that could satisfy my requirements. Oh, there's also about the pendrive thingy. It wasn't playing when I plugged it in before coz turns out you need to format it as exFat before putting your music files in.

2018 has been a good year all in all. There's some setbacks at some point but every bad thing that you've gone through has lessons to it. It makes me stronger for 2019. I'm excited to plan and execute what I'll be doing this year.

Journal: Noble Steed Arrived 28 Dec 2018

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Dec 2018 01:25:00 +0000

It was in plan for quite a while now and it finally has arrived! Galloping through the seven seas, a bright red stallion stormed its way through the vast plains to arrive into my embrace.

I've been trying to get a car since July this year but there were hurdles to leap over - the factory dashboard mould was said to be damaged and had to take over a month to get it fixed. Then, there's the misunderstanding with the bank agent. He called me asking for more details on the loan which I thought was someone who randomly called to ask if I applied loan recently. And those, add up to the months of period of delay. But, it was no rush.

I have to be honest. I was nervous at first because I am driving auto on unfamiliar territories. I used to drive manual. Auto is foreign for me. I went out with my bro to retrieve the steed yesterday. As we tried to drive out, we tried to shift the gear but the stick won't budge. We used our wits and prayers to try to get it move. It was solid as a rock.

My bro waved his hand towards the sales agent. He came and asked what's wrong. We had to let go of our pride and inquire the necessary information from him. That got it settled. We waved goodbye to him and out onto the next stage! Like a rabbit released into the wild, we galloped our way and never looked back! Mostly due to embarrassment earlier.

**This blog is taking a new direction! Journal!
A while back... like way back, this friend of mine, Eva had this thingy with journal. She takes photos and prints them out. Then, she compiles it in a physical journal. There's writings and drawings all over. It was nice!

Comic Series: How To Care

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 21 Oct 2018 00:07:00 +0000

I created this comic series because I wanted to show people how to care. It mostly involves doing the small things. They may be simple but not everyone could do it. It has to start from the heart. Set the intention right. Every time you're doing something, think of how it could help the one you care.

Stories: Train Seat

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 30 Sep 2018 07:14:00 +0000

This happened in one of my mundane train trip to work. I was sitting next to a guy. He was playing with his phone. The seat to my left was empty. It was a usual boring morning train. Everyone was with their own things. Some still fighting the sleepiness. Some numbing their existential pain by hearing music with their eyes closed. Others just stares into space.

The train came to a stop. The door opened. An auntie came in and saw the empty seat next to me. She walked towards it to claim the seat. In the transition between standing and sitting, the train suddenly moved. She lost her balance. Then, the unexpected happened.

She sat on my lap. My left thigh to be exact.

She sat for about 1 second or so before slowly turn her head back and discovered that I have become her chair.

She immediately said sorry. But, I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was going into shock. Then, she said sorry again. I mustered whatever that's left of my consciousness and said "it's okay".

Stories: Hiking Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 02 Sep 2018 04:13:00 +0000

Hiking is a pretty popular thing going on around here. This is a city area after all and hiking in the forest is the best way to escape from the hectic life of the concrete jungle. Having that said, I had never been hiking at anywhere at all.

One, is because all of these hiking places are not accessible without own vehicle. You can take Uber and whatnot but the trip back is going to be difficult because not much of these e-hailing dudes will be around.

I am just allured by the beautiful pictures of the scenery. Some of these places offer a nice Instagrammable spot at the end of it. That's a rewarding treat for some. Come to think of it, I think I have hiked before... inside a forest reserve jungle with my bro, uncle and dad. It was an exciting experience.

The trails are uneven. Making it difficult to keep your eyes forward when you make a step. You gotta keep your eyes down on the ground to see where you can put your foot on. It was inside a forest and everything is confusing. Our uncle has taken the path several times so he knows where he's going. There has been news that some people got lost and couldn't find their way out. It was probably a horrifying experience.

When our mom found out, she kinda discouraged us to do that again. So, that was the last time we ever did.

Now that I'm living alone, there isn't much peeps that I can tag along for hiking. All I can do is just read it from others' blogs. Like planning for vacation, the anticipation of it intrigues an excitement that I really enjoy even if I don't actually execute it.

So, here's a list of things/items that I think would be useful in a hike:

weather check
survival bracelet - comes with fire starter, whistle, knife
first aid kit
waterproof bag
water bottle 2L
get bearing before entering
map study
edible - both snack and plants that are edible (require research)
tricks to harvest water from the forest
glove
set of clothes to change to

Some places require climbing, hence the glove. That's bout it - a list of item to bring around, things to learn and skills to gain.

Stories: Emotional Bandaid

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 12 Aug 2018 13:41:00 +0000

When you're wounded, a bandaid could help. That goes the same when it comes with emotional pain. But, that requires a different approach. I've experienced enough pain and most of them come from the expectation generated by my mind. So far, I can say the less you expect, the happier you'll be. Just focus on living the reality and dwell less in the "what if".

Anyways, there are times where it is impossible to avoid stumbling onto occurrences that would bring your happiness level down. That's where emotional bandaid comes into play. It's something that I created to help me get through those hard times.

When I lost a huge part of me, it created a void. It was a pain that I could not withstand. Everyday, I felt like I'm dying. I figured that I probably won't live long with the pain that I'm going through. It sucked big time.

I sought the attention of friends and old friends. I initiated conversation with lots of people from my past as well as new people. Interacting with others help to distract me. For the first time, I called a friend that I've never talked to before. We're online friends by the way. If it's the normal me, I would feel the awkwardness that would forbid me from doing that in the first place. But, at that time, all I could feel was just pain. So I called. We had a long chat. I think I annoyed that friend.

The mind has become dangerous. When I remain idle, unhappy thoughts flood the brain. I couldn't let it consume me. I need to distract my mind with something. When I try to fall asleep, I would listen to some songs. Focusing on the lyrics until I am tired enough to fall asleep.

I also listen to motivational talks. Trying to shift my focus on improving myself. Sometimes, I stumbled upon motivational quotes online. I screenshot some of them. Reading them helps. I even set one favorite quote of mine as wallpaper.

"Believe that everything has a timing", until then, focus on being the best version of yourself. Eat well, take care of personal hygiene. Get that stylish clothing that you always wanted. Look good for yourself.

I also find a lot of distractions. Mostly, watching movies and anime. I immerse my mind into the story and that helps to quiet my mind. I have been doing that for about a month. I abandoned my comic-drawing temporarily because it felt like a chore and I'm not in the mood to create the usual funny comics.

One of the motivational Youtube video that I watched mentioned something about self-affirmation and visualization. Tell something good that will happen and visualize it. That would wire our subconscious to make things happen the way we want it to be.

With that, I try to look forward tomorrow with hope. Something nice that would happen. I anticipated it. Even if it didn't happen tomorrow, it still might happen the next day. I open up and keep noticing for opportunities.

"What is meant to be, will be". I've recently get to know about a news on the breakup of a friend of mine with a partner that has been together for a very long time. If they're really meant to be together, they would be together. Right? Or is it a play of fate and destiny? I would never know. Those are insignificant at this moment. Because right now, I just want to focus on being myself.

Back in uni times, I joined the volleyball team because it's the only sport that is nearest to my hostel. I don't need to travel far. It's just a stone's throw away like literally. I just need to peek through my window curtains to see the volleyball court. But, here's a catch. I don't know anyone there. My introversion don't do much help. Most of the people there already know each other as they're coursemates. It felt like I'm the only stranger there.

I played but I didn't communicate. I feel like I'm suffocating inside. I couldn't connect with them. You know the term "just be yourself"? I couldn't be myself yet that time. I need to break this awkwardness barrier inside of me. Only then, the true me will be revealed. That's the ultimate form for my unchained soul I guess. To be able to freely express myself without the chain of restrain of awkwardness.

Time heals all wounds. That's quite true in a way. The brain processes the tragedy and eventually, we start to accept what had happened whether we like it or not. It left a scar but we grow. We learn and evolve. Almost two months since the incident now. I can feel that I am getting better. Through this, I learn the things that I enjoy because only in doing those that I enjoy I would truly be in the zone and keep my mind in check.

Going out with close friends help a lot. Because, I can be free and comfortable with them. There's not much sense of awkward moments. Everything is just nice. Contacting old friends help too. I actually talked to a nice friend. That friend bought me a book that might help me. I offered to pay back but nah. That friend insist that it's gonna be a gift. A gift worth sharing. I guess I am obliged to finish it.

At the same time, I am also constructing a list. A list of happy song. There's bout 10 in the list, but I'll continue to expand the list. I need it. There's one particular song that I listen to when I am in the dark. A song from Boku no Hero Academia, You Say Run. It hikes up my fighting spirit.

Anyway, I made a list called "support system" that is split into 3 categories: food, friends and activities. Food consist of consumables that will make me feel good when I eat them. Friends are those that I can interact and hang out with. Activities are those things that I can do that will make me feel good as well.

Here's what I've listed so far:
Food

buffet
soup
chocolate
anything I want & within budget at the momoent
melon ice cream
make a treat
white fungus soup

Friends

bro
chocomob
online friends
colleague
old friends

Activities

self-affirmation
belief
everything has a timing
badminton smash (I don't play but I think smashing will feel good)
bowling strike
"hope for the better"
language pickup
comicfy stuffs
videography on next trip
cooking (something nice)
running
plan a trip
watch favorite Youtube channel
make happy song list
list best comfort foods

These are what I have for now. It's enough to keep my mind occupied... I guess. Till next time, take care. List down what works for you because only you will know that.

Stories: Just Be Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 29 Jul 2018 12:00:00 +0000

A lot of us change ourselves because of certain people's critiques and comments. A change caused by other's opinion. Then, there's a bunch of famous saying like "don't care about what other's think"... "those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter"... and "just be yourself".

In a lot of ways, nothing is entirely 100% applicable. If you're a jerk, change. Don't be yourself. Be better. Be kind. Nobody likes jerk. But hey, that's up to you. Not gonna judge about that.

Recently, I've been going through some rough times. I have troubled my friends a lot with my problems. I can feel that they are distressed. My inability to manage my emotions well has worried them. It was then, I know I need to move on. I can't weigh them down. I know friends are supposed to be there when you need them. But, that doesn't mean I can keep on dragging them down. It's exhausting.

There are a lot of things not under our control. Sometimes, things happen. Really bad things. Things that take a part of your soul away and left a void. I have reached enough friends. Telling them about the problem and they've filled me in with the support that they can provide. I am grateful for that. Grateful that there are friends willing to be there when I needed them. The void is still there but it's less intense.

My problem was caused by my inability to be myself. I am awkward. Overthink a lot. The past, the future. I can feel restrains on me. Chaining me down. Sometimes, there are things I want to say but I couldn't. I hold it back because of other thought-generated concerns. It held me back. I am suffocating because of that. It wasn't good. And the result of that is what caused this void.

So, how to be yourself? Get rid of awkwardness. Awkwardness is the heaviest chain on me. The reason for that is probably because I couldn't connect to others well. So, I want to change. Connect. Connect. Connect. There are a lot of people around me. Seek that connection.

When I have this desire to connect to other people, my mind automatically finds a way to do that. Awkwardness happens because I don't have a desire to connect. I am just waiting for a stimuli and respond to it. Wanting a connection is the exact opposite. It's the capturing of tiny details and use it to make a proper connection even if it's with a stranger.

Be yourself. You can only truly be that when you get rid of the awkwardness within. And when that happens, you will be comfortable with yourself.

Stories: Creep - Part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 03:54:00 +0000

After the first encounter with Mr. Wrinkles, months has passed by.

One day, I was walking back home from work, cautiously looking at the traffic before crossing over to the other side of the road.

Just as I made that cross, someone shouted my name ...

I looked around and yup... you guessed it. It was none other than Mr. Wrinkles himself.

He was in his car and held his arm up high. I waved my hand up and immediately continued walking in a hurried pace. It's in the middle of the road after all. You don't stand around and enthusiastically "hi" back in that kind of situation.

His "greeting" felt strange. It's like he's desperate. Trying too hard.

Mr. Wrinkles seldom appears in the cell-group gatherings. Which in my opinion, is kinda odd. For someone who projected such enthusiastic energy in greeting me, he's definitely an extrovert and it's like his destiny to appear in gatherings like that.

But, nope. He seldom appears like one of those rare pokemon.

One day, my friend fetched me back after dinner. I saw a lot of people outside my house. I was confused with the commotion for a while then, I remembered ... they just had their cell group meeting!

I saw my house lead and greeted him. He was having a chat with Mr. Wrinkles. Mr. Wrinkles saw me and greeted me. He extended his left hand in a handshake gesture. Okay, at this point I felt strange once more. Not only that, the circumstances made me obliged to shake his hand.

First the try-too-hard greeting, now the left handshake? He sure is giving one heck of an impression.

I extended my right hand instead which obliged him to use right hand as well. He wasn't giving me a very firm hand shake. Heck, why are shaking hands anyway. That's what business people do.

Few weeks passed by and I was in my room fascinated with the wonders of Internet. All of a sudden, I heard a knock at my door. I looked at the door and I could see the shadow of a person standing in front of my door.

I took a deep breath ... getting ready to face the mysterious figure.

I opened the door and it turns out it to be one of the cell group members asking me if they could borrow a red pen. I claimed that my pen has no ink but that person didn't mind. I guess they need it for some sort of activity. I hope they're not using it to poke things like a cat's butt hole or something unholy like that.

Soon, I find myself in my fantasy Internet world again.

I turned on my jam and shook my head in sync with the beat of the music. My head was literally dancing.

About an hour or so, another knock was heard. I figured that they will be returning the pen back to me. Alright ... I lifted my butt up and carried it towards the door, expecting to see that same person again but nope!

Mr. Wrinkles decided to grace me with his sudden appearance.

I got the creepy thought that Mr. Wrinkles used that pen as an excuse to approach me.

We talked a bit. He looked right passed me to see my room. Then, he asked for my number saying that in case he wants to invite me out for dinner some time.

Smells like a typical salesman tactic.

But, given that he is someone that the house lead knows, I didn't even hesitated to give him my number.

I was like ... "today is the day I stop being a hermit and actually make a new friend!"

After about a month, he called me out for dinner. I was having my dinner with another friend so I didn't go out with him.

After several times rejecting his invitation, he started asking probing questions like what time my office hours ends and what do I usually do after work. I told him a little bit and he arranged a time when we can really meet up which happened to be one Saturday.

Going out in a gang could be intimidating for an introvert but if it's one on one, it's like my moment to shine.

I initiated topics to talk most of the time. Talking about random things, recent events from news, food, my housemates and other interests. I was trying to pin point a topic which he could relate to and maybe eventually work my way from there.

But, nope!

My initiatives soon turned into a halt. I can't seem to find the right thing to talk about. I was thinking ... "Well, shiet, have my days of solitary finally transformed me into a dysfunctional human being?"

I felt bad and wanted to go back to my room where I can enjoy the familiarity of solitary once more.

Some other time, he asked me about my housemates and some personal questions.

I replied ... "Awkward...".

Which I think doesn't really knocked any sense into him. After a moment of silence, he looked at me as if I am obliged to respond to his interrogation. Oh, did I mention he was driving?

My heart screamed ... "could you please keep your eyes on the freakin' road?"

We arrived at a place for dinner safely, somehow. There wasn't any long chatter going on. Every chat ended quickly, giving way for awkwardness to set in.

It was then, my eyes was beaming with hope as I set my eyes upon one of the wonders of the world brought to you by science and technology ... a television. What a life saver! Now, I can pretend to be interested in that tv show that I can barely even hear what it's about because we're seated too far away and make the situation less awkward!

I stared at the tv until the food arrives.

At one point, I looked at him. He looked back at me and unnecessarily faked a smile.

I was like ...

"Why would you do that?"

"Do you want me to slap you?"

What are you trying to achieve with that fake ... oh, never mind. Weirdo.

After a while, I felt that he was looking at me. I looked back expecting him to say something. Because, that's why you would look at people. You wanted to say something...

He stared at me for about 2 seconds. I realized he wasn't going to say anything.

At that instant, I quickly broke off eye-contact. My instinct told me that this guy here could be a homosexual predator.

I continued eating my food.

Few seconds passed. From my peripherals, I could sense that he was still looking at me. Then, he turned away with a smirk as if he just won the staring competition.

After the dinner, he drove me back home. Before we reached my home, he told me that in the next outing, he will be talking something about income replacement which is another word for insurance.

Immediately, it all clicked!

That's why he shows no interest in any of my interesting topics that I have in my arsenal of conversation-initiation-starter pack.

I could sense a slight sour feel in my heart. I felt cheated by his insincerity to make friends.

After a few weeks, he came by to drop me the insurance policy afterwards. Once again, he, being a true icon of insolence, molested my room with his eyes.

And as I closed the door, he stared at me. I stared back in horror as I slowly closed the door shut.

It was intense.

Since then, I'd been drowning in my thoughts of negativity and finally came to a conclusion that there's no way I should allow my delicate self to be exposed to such horrid eye-contact anymore.

Because I have a small social circle and I don't really have someone that could give me proper, humane, and conforms-to-norms-of-society kind of advice, I have to make my own decision.

So, I killed him.

Just kidding. I kinda cut him off from my life. Ignored his calls, blocked whatever things that can be blocked ...

That doesn't feel like the best way. I should've been more honest to him about his creep stare and how wrong his exhaustive-application of salesman tactics made me feel. In hindsight, his action on questioning about my other housemates kinda made sense now. He wanted more people to join his "dinner".

But, I think that he would just stare back, stunned by my honesty.

So, I didn't tell him that.

Stories: Creep - Part 1

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 15 Jul 2018 03:54:00 +0000

One of my most annoying moment in my life happened in 2015.

It involves being approached by guy who doesn't know he is a born natural creep.

I guess I shall start from the beginning... how it all began.

For the sake of duty and fulfilling my responsibilities as a functional adult human being, I was cast away from my homeland and resides on foreign grounds to earn some gold.

I kinda found this place to stay which just happens to be about 1.1 km away from my office.

In case you're wondering about the blue area, that's the poop hot zone. If you want to grab the opportunity to step on dog shiet, that's where you would want to go.

Without sufficient gold to purchase a carriage, it's probably the best place that I could be staying.

The house lead is someone who is quite well-known in the church. Oh, house lead is the guy whom we pay our rental money to, by the way.

If there's any room vacant, he is the one who will be head-hunting the tenants. If there's any complaints or request for facility improvements, he's the one to go to. If there's an escaped zoo lion running loose in the house, he's the one that takes care of it.

Sometimes, the house lead organizes gatherings (cell group) with fellow church members in the living room.

It's a good social event. The perfect hostile environment engineered to pulverize any introverts that have not built up any advanced level of coping mechanism.

I figured that if I did join them, I will finally be a normal human being again because I will have more friends.

But ... nope. Awkwardness is too integrated into my genes.

One day, the house lead sent a message to the Whatsapp group to call for a game of basketball. The group is for the house tenants, so naturally I expected that only the house members will participate.

Wrooongggg!!!!

I was happy and living a peaceful life. My life was secure and stable and I was going to have the very first game of basketball with my housemates and all of a sudden, one by one, house lead's cell group members pops out from everywhere.

I was surrounded by ... I don't know ... 10, 20 or a hundred of them.

I've been set up.

The first thought that came to my mind ... the one and only thing ... is that I wanted to run away. But I sucked it up and went to the game anyway. I can't back out now.

I always imagined myself shooting the ball from half court and managed to score. Everyone would be looking at me with jaws wide open. And as I dribbled with the ball, I could move so smoothly as if I'm waltzing my way between them. It was nothing less than a graceful ballerina. Like what everyone thought is just a sport, I managed to make it looked like an elegant classy dance.

With that kind of mindset, I knew I was going to outperform everyone. I am a beast. I am the best.

I missed every shot I took.

And my stamina was nothing more than an thin slice of bacon that could be finished instantly in a single bite.

I was hyperventilating. Most of the time, I was standing there and trying to slap the ball away from other people's hands. It was sissy. Nothing close to elegant classy dance that I imagined to be.

I'd never felt so humiliated.

Finally, it's time to walk back to our respective home.

At long last, I get to go back to my room for a moment of peace and ... WAaaaaiiiiITTTT !!!

I was mentally prepared to chew on a piece of bland bread for my dinner, and this call shed its bright colorful light into my life. I could hear ... hope.

A small part of me thought of the awkwardness of eating with unfamiliar people but my hunger overwhelmed that thought completely.

We went to a local food court. And, my oh my ... more strangers appear one by one. We sat together and my housemates introduced them one at a time.

I put on a smile and said "hi" and "hello" alternately. It's a standard behavior in my meeting-new-faces protocol.

It is inevitable that we will definitely forget each other's name and faces. That's how destiny wills it. But, I'm just here for the food anyway.

Right at the end of the dinner, someone proposed a second round, desserts.

The house lead, being a keen guy, asked if anyone would like to go back home and skip the round two. This question was obviously directed at me since I'm the only stranger in the group and he knows how introverted I am.

I didn't respond. I felt like I would be spoiling everybody's mood if I did that. Even if I did respond, I would probably be the only one who's leaving and the house lead has to purposely drive me back to our home then come back out again for the dessert time.

I guess I could tolerate the awkwardness a little bit more.

We walked to some place near for dessert and I didn't even ordered anything. I just sat there looking at people, putting up a smile. It was miserable. What was I thinking? I should've just gone back.

I can't even pretend to be playing with my phone because I didn't bring it out!

Oh, c'mon!!

The take-out-your-phone-and-pretend-you're-doing-something-to-save-yourself-from-all-those-awkwardness technique that I had perfected my whole life...

I thought I wouldn't need it.

I thought we would just have our dinner and go back home straight.

I was naive.

The situation is as you can guess ...

A few minutes later, another of their member appeared. Let's just call him Mr. Wrinkles. Yup, he's the main antagonist in our little story here.

The house lead introduced us and we had a very short chat. Heck, he's not even introducing him with his real name, which I found out later. Where's the sincerity in that?

Despite the short chat with Mr. Wrinkles, that's the only moment when I felt less awkward because I am actually engaging in a live real human social interaction process of communication...

I am talking to someone like everyone is doing!

We sat for a long time ... I'm not sure ... it felt long probably because I had adrenaline pumped in my system throughout the entire hangout... for fight-or-flight response.

It was a true relief to me when we're finally going to go back home.

To be continued ...

Stories: The Buddy Trip

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 15 Jun 2018 07:00:00 +0000

I seldom go on for a travel. One main reason is because I'm a loser and I don't have anyone to go with and secondly, it's pricey. I have adapted to the life of Internet so well that I don't have to be at the tourist spot to experience what tourist would experience. Yes, the profuse sweating, stinky armpits and bumping into strangers in a crowded street.

After several episodes of depression, I've decided to move out of comfort zone. Articles online mention that traveling helps with depression. All this time, I longed for doing something different. Anything that I think would help which includes making friends with the neighbor's cats and fully coat sushi in wasabi paste. I didn't like traveling before but now, it's in the list.

So, I threw hints to a close friend that I think would be willing to go on a trip with me, Chocomob. I picked a spot with lots of foods because we are tankers when it comes to eating. Once upon a time, due to poor communication, we've ordered pizzas beyond our normal eating capability. We were poor students at that time. No fridge in the house. So, we have to finish it. Chocomob and I each ate one large pizza. For the record, it wasn't exactly our fault either. One of our friend was so sure that another friend didn't eat his dinner so he gave us the green light to order for him as well. Anyway, on that day, we had developed a different level of disgust towards pizza that only few would understand.

I planned for the trip. Surfing through different parts of the internet, scanning through each blogs that I can find to identify must-eats and must-visits. It's a fair trade of work considering that Chocomob will be driving.

Cool and collected is what I would describe him. He's okay with lots of my suggestions and keeps up with me when I want to eat something or taking shots of videos around.

The trip was quite uncomfortable at some time. The blazing sun light was licking every inch of our exposed skins. Roasting it slowly. There's one cafe that we couldn't find despite following the map. We walked around thinking that the map might be pointing to a spot behind the lot. But it wasn't. Turns out it was shared with another store. The sign board was obscured. We found it nonetheless so it was well worth it considering that they serve incredibly nice pancakes.

We tried to head over to a back alley where they serve famous seafood of clams and shellfish. It was very crowded. We couldn't get a seat so we decided to dine elsewhere. Chocomob complaint that his leg was hurting. It was then, I realized, I am the fittest one between the two of us. I imagined giving him a piggy-back ride. It felt ... impossible. He's heavy and I'm skinny. I'll break like a twig.

Time passes fast when you're enjoying it. It's two days now. We pretty much have visited everywhere worth visiting around there. So, the second day is a bit more relaxing. Chocomob's legs was still hurting so we go around in his steel steed.

People always love traveling. At least that's true for some of my friends. But, all I've experienced is uncomfortable state of being drenched in sweat, smelly and the scorching sun. A lot of foods are overrated and over priced. I guess that goes the same everywhere?

I'm only doing it for my depression. One thing I enjoyed about the travel is the video editing part. Memories in videos is worth looking back more than plain photos I guess?

Stories: Sudden x.x

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 12 May 2018 05:58:00 +0000

Death is always sudden and surprising. When I was in secondary school, two of my classmates passed. One was due to genetic disease another was due to malaria. When I got the news, I was shocked. It was then my breath stopped. I almost fainted.

I always saw people in drama fainted from getting bad news. But, I never really understood how that happened until then. My mind keep playing the moment we interacted with each other. We were enjoying our conversation. It felt just like yesterday. I can't believe they're gone.

Few weeks back, another old colleague passed away due to cancer. I was shocked to receive the news as well because she looked well and okay when I left the job 8 months ago. Wish for their souls to rest in peace.

So, whenever you feel like throwing your life away, ask yourself, have you lived well enough? Anyway, this derived two thoughts. First, is detox week. Detoxing is important as you never know if something is already growing inside your body. I don't want a sudden death because there are several missions in my life that I have yet to complete.

Second, is to think of how I can enjoy my life more. Let's give that a thought. I haven't really figured out the second part yet.

Stories: The Illusion of Safety

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 09 May 2018 09:35:00 +0000

This story is about my bro, Mika. Bro recently got a new job somewhere else. Given the nature of his job, he has to wake up early. Public transportation is not even operating yet. Under that circumstances, he has to stay at the hostel provided. It is within walking distance from work.

It was a modern prison. The room has no windows. The door can't even be locked from the outside. So, if you're a thief, you can just waltz right in and start sniffing for gold coins. It really shows how dedicated and concerned the employers are for the safety of their staffs.

One day, something unexpected happened. Someone broke into the hostel. It wasn't exactly a break in. It's more like an unfriendly visiting by a fellow ex-colleague. The culprit has key access to all the doors. Some belongings were gone. Luckily, my bro didn't bring anything valuable.

Once again, this shows how brilliant and hopeful the employers are. Negligence in changing the lock every time a staff leaves is truly a sign of how much they trust their employees. The other day, one guy just waltz in and asked for $1000 from the cashier. Despite there's CCTV footage, the boss refuses to report to the police because he wanted to take care of the reputation of his store.

The store is located in a busy town with lots of cars driving by. Normal people would thought that it's safe. It's definitely not. I thought the prison-like hostel is the only problem Mika has to face but it turns out to be something much dire.

We need that carriage for a better life-changing opportunity.

Stories: Unsaid

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Apr 2018 13:14:00 +0000

There's this friend of mine called Onion. Onion loves cat. He has about 6 of them now. Most of the cats are strays and he just picked each of them from the street. He feels sympathetic towards the kitties. So, he adopted them.

He's a saint. A cat saviour. A hero. A kind soul.

One day, I saw a kitty at the bus stop where I waited for another friend to fetch me to work. It was raining. The kitten sat outside the protection area of the roof. It was drizzling. I thought of picking the cat up where it's dry but I got worried it might wander off towards the road and become a road pizza.

I didn't know what to do. But, I did something that I shouldn't have. I told Onion about the cat. He asked what did I do to the cat. I said nothing. I felt bad with that answer considering that he's a cat lover. He probably felt bad for the cat as well.

He is better off without knowing about the cat in the first place. But, there's one thing when you're close to someone, you just spout out things without thinking it through. That's what happened. Before telling someone something that you just feel excited about, think. Stop and think of how it will affect the person. Is it necessary for that person to know? Will it make that person feel bad?

There's abandoned kitty everywhere. I think it will be happier for him not knowing of those that he couldn't save.

Stories: Comfort Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 24 Mar 2018 07:22:00 +0000