zemotion's travels, fashion & photography

SingaporeBrides Paris Behind the Scenes

2009-12-19T20:36:00.010+08:00

For some odd reasons the frequency of encountering rain is super high when I shoot outdoors whether in Singapore or overseas. It's something a couple of my editors had been commenting on excessively this year, and at one point I was blamed for bringing rain on shopping days upon my touch-down. D:

Right, if I could reeaaaaally make rain... hurhurr.

But frankly, I'm not really one to complain about it.

Rainy days do make shootings more difficult, but I find gloomy skies wonderful.

And when it rains, everything starts to catch light and become reflective, I think that in itself adds a beautiful touch to an image.

I lost a lot of sleep during the stressful 3-4 weeks of planning.

The Parisian model agencies my editor was speaking to were really unresponsive, and I had became skeptical of working with people on first contact out of fear for the unreliability of a new person. It happened too many times when I was in Europe -- hair/makeup/models not turning up, cancelling a day before shoot, etc. We had planned so much with regards to the locations and styling I just couldn't risk it, having limited days in Paris.

Eventually we found a good management from the Netherlands for the model, and I had Andrea Perry-Bevan, whom I worked with in Manchester about half a year prior, to fly in for the hair and makeup.

All this was done whilst preparing for a campaign for Orchard Central, shot on the day I was due to take off. I quite literally went to the studio with my luggage and stuff so I could head for the airport straight after.

I arrived in Paris on a Saturday morning, had a meetup with some local fans from facebook at Six Huit before moving on to drop my luggage off and start the location recceing.

We were scheduled to shoot two days, one on location indoors and one outdoors. To put it simply, it just translates to a hell lot of recce work.

Unfortunately, we didn't accomplish that much in the end on Saturday, with my jet-lag kicking in and being exhausted from the last shoot and all. And the places we went just weren't satisfactory.

We continued on Sunday. Places to places. The final decision for the indoor location was a really old hotel with gothic furniture from the 16th century. It was small, but splendid. I stayed a night in the room after the shoot since it was paid for. :D

It was really funny when I met up with the chief editor of Gothic & Lolita Bible a few days later, to find out that she was staying in that very place during her visit. We two were going on and on about this "awesome gothic hotel" we each knew, and then suddenly someone else asked the name, and we realized it was the very same one! Hahahaha.

Monday we moved on to check out potential outdoor locations. I wanted to cover notable places and we narrowed the list down to: Arc de Triomphe, Pont Alexandre III, Eiffel Tower, Lourve, Sacré Cœur and Notre Dame.

That night Andrea was dropped off at the wrong hotel, we had a huge scare waiting, but she found her way eventually.

With all things in order we were more or less set for the shoot the next two days.

Tuesday morning our model Anne arrived from Amsterdam. The team waited for her at the hotel while Andrea and I went flower shopping. It ate a lot of time from the morning but it's a component I can just never seem leave to someone else to do.

The entire shoot was done with natural light that came in through the windows.

I am fortunate enough in the sense that SingaporeBrides always allows me the maximum freedom in direction, so I can have my own lighting and mood and expression down to the smallest details in each photograph.

Of course I do discuss with the editor on my plans, concepts and directions, but because of how flexible they are while knowing what's acceptable and not for their own direction (many times I think clients don't know what they don't want), I find that I create some of the best editorial images with and for them (aside from maybe Bazaar, which works pretty much the same and similarly the quality of results).

On the second day rain came around mid-day. It wasn't heavy, but enough for us to need umbrellas. I was prepared with a parasol I'd bought from Korea 5 years ago for the very purpose of photo-taking. =D

And so my assistants held makeup items and umbrellas for Andrea and me, and we continued shooting that way in the rain till the end.

There're quite a few outtakes from the shoot I love that couldn't work in the editorial as a set, however, I hope I'd be able to revisit them one day~

I really enjoyed working on this and I hope everyone like the images. Now I shall be off to do my packing for Tokyo. Though actually, I don't have much to pack aside from a kimono for new year's eve, seeing as how I haven't unpacked from Lijiang. Hahahaha.

SingaporeBrides.com - Paris

2009-12-17T21:44:00.013+08:00

Slightly overdue... But here's the editorial for SingaporeBrides.com.

Check out the full spread at here.

Editor: Chin Leng
Photography/styling: Zhang Jingna
Photography assistant: Adrien
Hair/makeup: Andrea Perry-Bevan
Model: Anne S

Nursing my horrible sunburn from Lijiang right now. Sighhh.

See behind-the-scenes post here.

Kuang Hong Postcard Collection

2009-12-03T21:42:00.004+08:00

24 postcards

US15

Free shipping on all products worldwide till Dec 31st 2009.

All available titles:

Noah and I have known each other for some six years now. We've both grown and influenced each other so much over the years, thinking back, it's incredible how fast time flies. I'm so glad we finally got publish something together. (Well, at the same time anyway. Haha) He's preparing for an artbook which had been delayed for years and years, but hopefully with the new year coming it's going to happen. And if it does, we may hop by SDCC together. Crossing fingers now. :D

Zhang Jingna Postcard Collection

2009-12-01T22:23:00.010+08:00

24 postcards

US15

Free shipping on all products worldwide till Dec 31st 2009.

Order links for all available titles:

Thanks to all those who helped make this happen, and had supported me so much thus far.

This is for you.

I ♥ you all.

04.11

2009-11-27T16:42:00.006+08:00

Found these while looking through photographs for some interviews.

Lately I'd been thinking of dyeing my hair black again.

Lauren

2009-11-24T12:55:00.008+08:00

Preview from a new series for fashion.singaporebrides.com, photographed in New York.

It was just starting to get a little chilly at that time, but the weather was kind with us when we shot -- kind of a rare thing when I shoot overseas, something I was infinitely grateful for.

The location was empty save for a cellist playing when we arrived. I had Lauren leaning against some pillars at first, then a few different poses and I was more or less ready to move on. We were pressing for time and I was trying to finish within a few frames so we could change into to the next dress before the light went out for the day.

However the music kept playing, and playing, and it was so magnificent and poetic as the melodies echoed throughout the halls I felt an urge and need to capture the beautiful moment in which we were submersed in. I told Lauren to hold up her dress, to twirl and walk and move towards the light. She did, and everything came to live in the viewfinder. I had my shot.

It's one of those 'simple' photographs, where everything else is stripped away and the image is about the essence of a certain moment. I had my assistants moved away with the reflectors to give her full space for movements and photographed with whatever natural light there was left before the sun went down. In those moments it was just about the harmony between the two of us, and it was beautiful.

The images should go live some time later this week, I'll update. :D

Production I.G and Storm Lion Unveil “Titan Rain”

2009-11-21T03:55:00.002+08:00

Singaporean company Storm Lion is collaborating with Production I.G (Patlabor, Ghost in the Shell, Ghost in the Shell: Innocence, JIN-ROH) on "Titan Rain", a full 3D CG animated feature film.

An amazing feat for a local firm. (Production I.G, hello?!?!!) Hahaha can you tell I'm super excited? XDD Read more about the amazing team involved on AnimeNewsNetwork.

I'm attending Anime Festival Asia later, will have some prints and new postcard books for sale at Storm Lion's booth. Do drop by to say hi if you're around! <3

Gift

2009-11-18T21:56:00.006+08:00

During my visit to the deviantART headquarters in L.A. last month, I was asked whether I'd seen the newly introduced framed prints from their prints store. I said no.

And a couple days after I'd returned to Singapore... I received these:

I know. I know. The peeps at dA are just way too nice and it's gonna make me a spoilt child one day. Like, seriously.

But yeah, thank you so so much guys. You don't know how touched I am. T_T

The packages were actually pretty heavy, if I were the postman, I'd have been annoyed at having to lug these up four flights of stairs to my apartment. So thank you too, Mr. Postman~

And so we move on to the opening:

Meticulously packed + perfect condition = *is happy*

deviantART logo on the back of frame.

The print quality and presentation are so awesome I can't find anywhere in our house actually worthy of having them hung.

Plus it'd be kinda narcissistic, lol.

Oh well, I guess I'll figure something out eventually. XD

Before I end, I just wanna thank everyone who left kind words and messages for the previous posts. Jingna ganbare desu~

PS: For those who asked, the top is from Stigmata (a label under Sexy Dynamite London)

11.17

2009-11-17T14:41:00.006+08:00

Repetition

2009-11-15T20:59:00.005+08:00

Do you sometimes feel that life repeats certain of its events in a certain manner, with a certain time cycle?

Lately I'd been thinking about mine.

And feel somewhat fortunate that the frequency of depressive years isn't extremely high. Except when they happen, it's so very condensed.

I have a familiar feeling from long ago, a numbness from loss. It makes me go through my days as if everything is fine, as if I have no tears.

Even though I really really want to cry.

印象 Interphoto Vol. 53：张晶娜－追求影像的自由

2009-10-28T22:30:00.002+08:00

A feature interview for Poco.cn, which flatters and delights me to no end.

The original is presented in flash here (warning: music). For those who find it too much work to browse through or not loading outside China, here's the text~

张晶娜
前新加坡国家队射击运动员。
放下步枪，拿起相机，年仅19岁之时获得新加坡摄影师大奖。
在相机的取景器里，她瞄准着每个动人的瞬间，捕捉下一幅幅令人惊艳的图画。

出生于北京一个体育传统家庭，张晶娜8岁移居新加坡，14岁的时候，只是经过短短 9个月的训练，便成功加入新加坡国家射击队并打破了新加坡的全国纪录。18岁开始拿起相机成为摄影师，19岁成为Masters Photographers Association 最年轻的得奖者。08年开始在美国、新加坡举行个人作品展览。

这一连串经历不禁令我们联想起一个形容词——天才。

“凄美、浪漫又带着一丝忧沉”

强烈的情绪透过她的画面，深深地触及观众的灵魂。凝视着张晶娜的一系列作品，实在很难想象这是出于一个年仅21岁女孩的手笔。能拥有这种超越年龄的成熟风格，难道这是与她练习射击时所培养的稳重有关？

接过我们的疑问，张晶娜说：“摄影与射击的关系其实没有太大，唯一相同的，两者其实都是在追求心中的一刹那触动。”

“摄影对我来说是什么？是自由，是我的语言。”——张晶娜

放下自己曾经最爱的气步枪，走上时尚摄影的道路，对张晶娜来说或许并不是偶然。

追求美好事物，是人类天生的本能。透过摄影的语言去表达自己，追求自由，这就是张晶娜。

古典油画里面华丽的服饰、绝美的场景布置、人物的一颦一笑、举手投足间的美态尽展，都是吸引张晶娜走上时尚摄影这条道路的原因。美丽的人事物，对她总有着一股强烈的吸引力。或是飞舞的裙摆，或是恬静的一个姿态，在张晶娜的镜头下都得到完美的呈现。

这种呈现，其实就是一种表达。艺术家们通过不同的语言去表达自己的情感，学习过时装设计的张晶娜最终还是选择了摄影来表达，因为与时装本身相比，她更愿意把时装当中画面之中的一个要素。因为透过拿着相机，她获得了更大的自由。

张晶娜曾说过，她年少的梦想时当 Gundam Wing Zero（一部热门动漫中的机驾战士）的驾驶员。
有着这样不切实的梦想的人，自然都是很浪漫的。
这份浪漫，透过张晶娜的作品，感染着所有的人。

“凄美、浪漫、忧沉”是张晶娜对自己作品风格的诠释，无论是English Rose中的迷离，抑或是Forgotten Fairytales之中忧郁，都是浪漫化的传达。

她认为，真正能触动人的作品，必须能和观众心目中一些理想化的感受作出联系。可以是关于过去的怀缅，也可以是关于未来的期盼，只有这种能够触动观众的作品，才能够历久弥新。

请用三个形容词形容一下你自己。
感性、执着、自由

我们都知道，你在成为摄影师之前从事的是另一个与shooting有关领域。在你眼中，射击与摄影你更喜欢哪个？两者之间又是否有着联系呢？
现在来说最喜欢摄影。他们之间关系不是特别大，但参与这两者都有种为了追求心中的一刹触动的感觉。

是什么样的原因让你走上时尚摄影这条道路？
是对古典油画的挚爱，特别是里面华丽的服饰、漂亮的场景、人物的神态等等。

对于你来说摄影意味着什么？
自由。我的言语。

修读服装设计课程后，为什么没有选择当一名服装设计师呢？
我没有修读完整个课程。因为学习服装设计主要是我把服装当作我想要的画面的一个重要元素，所以有必要去了解。但是自己拿着相机的时候我感觉拥有最多的控制权，觉得拍自己作品的时候比设计东西的时候要来得开心，更有满足感。后来这种心态变得越来越明显，当拍摄工作越来越多的时候，我就决定全力投入到拍摄当中了。

你觉得新加坡、东京和北京三地的时尚圈有什么异同？
我很少花心思去了解圈子这些东西，能够有好的团队好的工作气氛就好。但我个人感觉国内和新加坡的时尚还是偏保守些（主要是群众的承受性吧），东京会比较边缘化、狂野一些，大概因为各种不同的环境和媒体影响，造型妆型等都会非常有创新感，走在时尚边缘。

你的创作的原动力来自哪里？
让自己作品的视角以及风格更加具有美学上的深度，让自己的作品越来越美，就是我创作的原动力。我希望有一天能够拍出我心中的那一张完美的映像。

你认为怎样的摄影作品才能打动人心？为什么？
能够与观众产生联系的产生共鸣的作品才能打动人心。人都会为自己曾经历过、感受过，或者一直渴望的东西而联想起过去或未来，这种联想就是作品触动人心情感的出发点。

你怎么看待你的风格？哪些作品最能代表你自己？
凄美、浪漫、忧沉。
《Forgotten Fairytales》、《English Rose》、《Celosia》、《Lilith》、《Redemption》、《Gone》。

至今最满意的作品是哪个？能否和我们谈谈它的构思及其创作过程。
《Forgotten Fairytales》。虽然已经是比较早期的作品了，可能是因为现在已经习惯了这种创作过程中的艰苦，所以觉得某些早期作品会更贴心一些。

这套作品的构思和概念，来自从童话故事提炼出灵感。拍摄地点是在拍摄之前带了不同的模特去侦察了两次才决定好的。因为拍摄地是老房子，当时很担心会被拆掉，所以时间安排得非常紧凑（拍摄后来不久的确就被拆掉了）。服装是我在学校缝纫课上的作品。当时还带了两个不错的同学一起做这个概念，每人设计一套服装。

对于将来，你有怎样的规划？会继续在别的领域作出尝试吗？如果会，又是什么呢？
我会继续寻求突破，准备下一册作品集，个人巡回展。以后还希望可以拍短篇故事或电影。也想开个游戏公司。

Night Fever

2009-10-26T23:13:00.005+08:00

Elle Singapore Nov '09

Photography: Zhang Jingna
Styling: Aida Dolrahim
Hair: Ash Loi
Makeup: Peter Khor
Model: Valeria Kazakova/Mannequin

Wheee recent work are starting to roll out~

I'm still waiting to get the Pond's ads done with Cut Mini in Jakarta, and Sony Vaio ads from China... Alas, it's impossibly hard when I don't live in there. If anyone sees them please send me a pic if you have. =D

Had a small gathering with some friends to sorta celebrate my recent title from the MPA awards at Moomba today. The truffle eggs, the truffle eggs... Make every single trip so damn worth it even if I hate going into the CBD area.

We opened a Dom Ruinart '96 I'd kept for some time, it had gone so bad to the point it was undrinkable. So guys please don't keep wines and champagnes in your bedrooms unless you only wanna use them for cooking ahahhaa. XD (okay maybe I'm exaggerating about the undrinkable part...)

Upcoming I've a mountainload of retouching to catch up on. But afterward it's gonna be a month or so of off. I think I'd worked quite hard enough this year so perhaps it's about time I can take a breather. The next shoot will probably be at the end of Dec in Tokyo. Its planning is most likely gonna take up just about all my free time, I'm crossing fingers it'd turn out good~ I'm kinda nervous and anxious about it. More info later hehe.

Yoshiki/Sugizo Dahlia Solo Intro

2009-10-20T13:52:00.005+08:00

Looked at this while video-surfing for work and had an impossible urge to share it.

When this happened that night, my heart throbbed so much in exhilaration I almost couldn't breathe.

Sugizo's violin's always so tragic, so beautiful. There's a certain haunting beauty in the despair and tension of the sounds that I really love. To experience it live was something so incredibly amazing it's indescribable in words.

Newcastle

2009-10-16T04:43:00.001+08:00

Master Photography Awards 2009

2009-10-13T10:19:00.005+08:00

I won the title of Overseas Master Photographer of the Year at the Master Photography Awards 2009, held last night at Hilton in Newcastle, UK.

We did a short interview with BBC briefly after the awards dinner, at which point I was so overwhelmed my brain fried and refused to function. If you do actually happen upon it when it's out (I don't know when, and people somehow always find out about these things before I do), please forgive me for sounding too dumb lol. *headdesks*

Will update with more photos later. Just got back to New York today. I ought to start packing for tomorrow's flight to LA, but my body hurts from all the plane and train rides so bad I don't wanna move. ._.

Hope everyone's had a good weekend too~ <3 PS: Meetup for New York will be this Sunday 3-6pm, 18th Oct. On 7th Ave and W 58th St. Pretty near Central Park~ More info here.

New York

2009-10-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

I'm still trying to cultivate a habit of taking more travel pictures. And despite having finally borrowed a compact camera this trip, I still don't. =_=' This shot is stolen from my assistant Teresa's camera when she was taking behind-the-scenes for us last night.

Me in Times Square~

And Teresa.

Assistants and interns please be prepared when applying, thank you. =D

Backtracking a few days from before I went off to Yale. This is from the outfit shoot for Monoxious with Arissa.

I just love my Alice Auaa top so much~

Shopping with her~

Waiting for people on set

I was walking across the road back to the team and Teresa took this. It's so ridiculous and funny and I love it. :3

Forest Hills~ Around my neighbourhood :3

The hairpins sisters, hair styled courtesy of Furqan. Hahaa.

The Coldest Day

2009-10-02T22:04:00.010+08:00

One of the most disastrous shoots I'd ever had. But certainly most memorable and happy one as well.

The warning signs were there, everything was wrong even before the shoot took place. Arissa was going to model for this originally, I planned it so carefully, meticulously, had Rick spend a day doing location recce because it was in the middle of nowhere. And 3 days before, she called and told me she wasn't able to get on a flight (it was a high-traffic week I think) and the next available one was 2 days later which by then would be the last day of her leave, and pointless.

I was so devastated I cried, I think she did too.

Abby is my assistant from Brunei, she flew to Tokyo to assist the shoots with Chiaki and was going to follow me to Kyoto to meet up with Arissa.

Left without a choice since the whole team's already booked their tickets, I said, come model for me, let's just do the shoot and create some memories.

I've an obsession with flowers in Japan (okay I've an obsession with flowers, period) and usually shop for them before my shoots. But our call time being 8am, the train to location taking an hour and me wanting good morning sun for the light, we couldn't get flowers before we departed since no shops were open. Therefore I settled on buying flowers at our destination -- only to find that it's so obscure there were no stores at all. So we got back on the train to take to the next nearest civilization... and all this time we were already half frozen to death. (It was late winter, I underestimated the cold truly, this time)

So clearly the weather didn't favour us, and didn't plan to as the day went on. After finally getting the flowers and taking the train back, we discovered that our walk to the actual location was something like an hour instead of the 10min as Rick had told us.

It was so cold and the wind so cutting for the first time I feared that I was gonna end up killing one of my models from a photoshoot. Like, seriously.

And being persistent as I was, I'd asked her to go into the waters, wet and submerge herself at some point of time. And the water was, obviously, way colder. Freezing enough that my bones were in pain just by placing my feet in for a minute. I really thought we would die. Yet I was still asking her of it. I don't know what I was thinking, I reflected a lot upon it later on about how far we could really push another for a shoot... I think I just wanted to have something (even if just one picture) for everyone who already spent so much effort...

Abby shivered nonstop for some 3 hours after we got back into Kyoto. T_T

And then we had a parfait night (I think we ordered 8 in total?) lol.

I learnt defeat. Of things not carrying out according to plan no matter how meticulous I'd prepared.

It was painful, but we had so so much fun and laughter together. And Abby despite the cold still fought on to make the pictures for me, I realized how blessed and loved I was, truly.

She stayed in such high spirits, during our lunch break when she walked into a eatery completely drenched, she was even able to laugh at herself and attempt telling the lady boss (who completely didn't understand her) that she tried drowning herself and we saved her. Hahaha.

I can't say it's the most epic of photos, but all the memories that come along with this, I treasure so very dearly. Thank you Abby, Chris, Rick. You're some of my best assistants. <3 Model: Abby Photo/makeup/hair: me Assistants: Chris Wolf, Rick Bowen

Yale: Part I

2009-09-28T05:44:00.007+08:00

Okay, so I decided, at some point of time, to run away from New York and spend a week in Yale. So far it feels pretty surreal. The whole experience is super Harry-going-to-Hogwarts-like.

I haven't gone for any classes yet, but I'm super super in love with the architecture (interiors especially), here are just some photos first~

(And just to clarify for those who're confused, I'm just dropping in classes for this week only ^^)

Back of the Sheffield Sterling Strathcona building as the sun is setting

The Peabody Museum of Natural History

Divinity school

The Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library

Sterling Memorial Library's hallway.

*Added info from class. Yale University Library holds over 12 million volumes, the Sterling Memorial Library holds about 4 million. *_*

One of the reading rooms inside the library. I love T_T

Detail from Berkeley College's dining hall. I super loveeee.

And our common room.

Made me feel like I was on a movie set as we chatted into the night. I... I think I've used the word love too many times in this post already... but yeah, I love. ;_;

Also visited the Yale University Art Gallery and Yale Center for British Art, took some pictures with my Lumix, but I forgot to bring the USB cable so I'm waiting for my back up to arrive next week in New York. I think those will be in a later post if I manage to get around to them...

And just a last pic backtracking a few days taken in New York City.

Taken the day before I left for Yale. A collaboration with Arissa for her fashion blog Monoxious.

We fly around so much these days, our only opportunities to hang out are during the times when we're overseas. So we thought, might as well make the most out of them haha.

I truly do adore the light in New York~

On a totally unrelated note, does anyone have a good salon/hairdresser to recommend in NYC? My hair is kinda growing out and I really need to touch up the roots.

I'd always done the colours in Tokyo so I'm not sure if it's easy to achieve the same colours here since Japanese have their own brands and their colour tones. I'm a bit skeptical about a random walk-in, so would really appreciate if someone can introduce a good place (that's hopefully not going to cost toooooo much). Thank you. =D

Remembrance

2009-09-24T10:47:00.002+08:00

It's ironic how the further we are from a time, the more emotional we feel when we remember.

Perhaps, it's because there are lesser and lesser memories to cling on to as the fragments get filtered away.

Perhaps, it's because we don't want to be the only ones remembering, when others have already long forgotten.

The world began again, and we walked farther apart, and it’s much too late to find the past anymore.

Gundam Cup Noodle, I has it~!

2009-09-19T20:54:00.005+08:00

So we've seen the large 1:1 life-sized Gundam in Odaiba. Here I present you the tiniest 1:380 model. =D

Once more, in conjunction with the Gundam 30th Anniversary, here is Cup Noodle x Gunpla.

Smallest in history~

To get an idea of the size. It's not like my thumb is huge, the thing's just simply tiny.

There are 4 different designs in total. I've only got two and am too lazy to open the other one so... here's the completed model anyway. XD

It's quite nostalgic actually, despite how small and quick it is to assemble these things, it's been a long time since I'd made a model myself. Ahh childhood.

Well, I think this is all for nerdy posts. Now we wait for the 40th year anniversary. XD

/Edit:
For those who asked, it's from Tokyo. You can get them from toy stores, convenience stores don't carry them. :3

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-09-16T00:41:00.004+08:00

Harper's Bazaar Singapore Sept 09

Photography: Zhang Jingna
Styling: Alli Sim
Hair/make-up: Marc Teng
Manicure: Joyce Chang
Model: Weronika/Ave
Photography Assistants: Hoong Weilong, Abby Lim
Styling Assistant: Jacquie Ang
Additional Assistant: Michelle Chow

This was the first time I got to work with Marc. Really really awesome on set (and photogenic too) . We got to work together again on the Oct issue, which I think should be out soon. ^^

Just some behind the scenes

Abby and I being mimicking the pose silly, just 'cause we can. Hahaha. /lame

Anyway, I want to say big big thank you to everyone who left a comment (here or dA or twitter or via email) in response to the previous post. It really touches me that it meant... something to somebody.

In regards to writing more, I will attempt when time permits itself again. =D

Heading back to Singapore tomorrow, gotta start packing for New York and LA~ Anyone has a fav to recommend for to-do and to-see and to-eat? =D

My Education

2009-09-09T02:40:00.014+08:00

...or the thorough lack of.

I get asked about this a lot during talks and meetups, but the main reason that had me writing this down was probably due to the mails I receive from students saying they were inspired to pursue photography, art, or something else less accepted by majority of the parents out there because of me.

It's flattering yes, and I'm probably expected to be supportive, but I can't brush off the feeling that sometimes I think my articles and interviews romanticize my experiences too much. So much so that when people read those they're given some sort of impression that leads them to think -- "She left school and became successful in no time, I don't feel like I'm learning anything at all either, I wanna quit school too!" -- which then somehow helped them convince themselves that education is useless, and that it was ok to use it as an excuse to do something else for the sole purpose of using it as an escape.

Here's just a little something to better shed light on some stuff that led me to my decisions. It's just stuff that came to mind, so please do pardon the lack of coherence.

As a child, I always recalled my mother telling me a particular metaphor: if a house breaks out in a fire, the most important things to rescue will be books, for knowledge is power and the most valuable for one's survival.

It probably sounds a little silly in modern day context, but it puts the point across. Some of you will probably want to argue that it's money that one can't live without, sure it's important, but then we have another metaphor: you can have a mountain of gold and silver and spend it all without knowing how to replenish what you have (due to the lack of the knowledge of how to do it). So there.

I was at the age where parents' words were absolute laws we children abide by without questions, and I would believe whatever I was told with utter faith. My understanding then, at 4 or maybe 5, was that, knowledge was gained by learning, studying, and that's why we had to go to school. To learn.

As I grew older, I figured that studying didn't have to be confined into schools because we were all different. And that sometimes, the world was our best classroom, because certain things, I could only learn from actual experiences.

The thirst to simply find out more about what I liked was my drive, and only much later did I realize that learning was really a lifetime affair.

A lot of things happened throughout my schooldays, outside of school. To cut it short, I was made acutely aware of death at a young age. It led me to believe that I didn't have many years left. So despite making efforts to get in, I spent my days in a prestigious school not quite studying as I should have been, utterly convinced that my end was near and I had every right to spend the last few years the way I wanted.

I had various interests that weren't quite academical, and with every additional one I was made all the more aware of not wanting to be in a school studying things irrelevant for my needs. But no, at that time, I didn't know what I wanted to be.

I was good in air rifle, but I felt that it would one day become dull if I stayed doing sports all my life (no offence to others in the line, it's just me).

I liked air rifle, but I liked difference, new and change even more. I wanted to do something that will make the next day fresh and challenging all at the same time. Air rifle was about hitting the barely 0.45mm bull's eye every single shot, about how many times I can repeat the same set of actions without mentally and emotionally wavering. But there's a limit set to it. You can only get 400/400 for 40 shots in a competition, and no matter how frigging perfect, may you get 109/109 for finals, it's as far it goes.

I didn't want something with a pre-set limit.

Along the way I met Yun (aka Arissa, aka Kagetsuki, aka minicloud, who still calls me by the nick I was using 7 years ago after everyone else has stopped), and thought she was possibly the coolest girl I'd ever met in my life. And because she was doing fashion design, I became somewhat interested, and decided to study fashion instead.

I was on leave from school to train for the Olympics selections that year, and with all the extra free time on my hands and interest in fashion, I selected a short course on makeup to learn. The knowledge in it played an important role in my photography later on.

I'm deviating a little from my original point here, but what I'm trying to say is, if you find something of interest, don't hesitate to learn it. An extra skill never hurt. (Although I don't know what reading The High Frontier: Human Colonies in Space in Primary 4 was gonna help me with, but I guess at least it gave me a dream to live out there... in the future. Like I can do a photoshoot in space or something... Yeah yeah okay I'm having Gundam daydreams again. Hahahaha.)

After various events, with extreme reluctance on my mother's part, I managed to leave RGS for LASALLE with the blessings of my principal. (Gotta admit having a good standing of achievements in air rifle helped)

I enjoyed my foundation year tremendously. It provided me with a variety of mediums and platforms I could learn about and experiment with, all in the realm of something I was interested in -- art. And from there, slowly but surely, sieved through was my interest for illustrative images.

My decision to leave school a second time grieved my mother to no end. She'd thought I really loved school and was enjoying it (which I was, till later, which I'll explain below), and couldn't understand why I wanted to quit a semester short to getting my diploma. My ex-step-dad and pals would scorn at her stressing failure as a mother, my maternal family was extremely academic and the whole family would calling my mum from the US and UK all over, repeating just how a degree was mandatory, every other night.

But really, attaining a diploma doesn't mean I'd retain the knowledge from school any better if I hadn't bothered to study at all. Without that piece of paper, what I'd learnt was already mine, and wouldn't be taken away from me. Right?

Here's a somewhat summarized snapshot of the story:

We were starting on a semester of men's fashion, but I was actually only interested in womenswear. However, the lack of interest was hardly enough to warrant my yearning to leave school.

That semester started almost a month later than scheduled; we didn't have lecturers for some of the classes; then an incident, a classmate cried and screamed at me in front of class just because of how unfair she felt it was that I got by well enough whilst missing school (for rifle training trips) while the rest couldn't catch up.

Traumatized on top of the disorganization of classes, I felt that it wasn't adding up to what I could get out of my own time if I did individual learning.

Also, I was becoming obsessed with photography.

I had a little popularity growing in deviantART, I would receive notes telling me that I had inspired an individual to pick up photography. It made me feel both happy and appreciated because it was something I thoroughly enjoyed, and at the same time seemed to allow a complete stranger to benefit from.

Around the same period I started getting small jobs, it was then that I felt the unstoppable yearning to better myself and my shoots. The want to do more, create more and improve more. Which all demanded more time and efforts than I was already giving, it was the moment for me to shed everything else to focus on photography only, and once that became clear, no one was going to stop me. I wasn't going to live down a life that wasn't mine.

A dear friend once said to me:

when we are alive, we need to do things that makes us feel right
things that give us that feeling that we are living our own lives, our own choices
and if we are honest with our own feelings
we ought not feel bad for making others sad
because lying is worse

It wasn't directed at my studies, but I think this quote can apply for a lot of things, really.

Eventually, when I left school, I'd already done a magazine cover, earned an average of at least roughly 800SGD per job with constant enough job offers.

If we look only at the basic of 1200SGD a month of a fresh diploma graduate, I wasn't too badly off. (Okay so I don't really know the exact figure, maybe it's higher, maybe it's lower, I didn't really care anyway, it was just numbers conjured up to explain to my mum I wasn't gonna starve to death) It definitely wasn't much, but it's something.

So no, I didn't just make my decision based on thoughts and ideals alone.

I knew quite clearly what I needed and wanted, that my learning had to encompass experiences from a working environment which I was already getting, which the school did not and could not provide, which needed more time for than I could have afforded while still being in school.

I knew what I didn't have and had to work on, and very importantly the simple truth of having to support myself, my overheads, and the fact that I was ready with the ability to face them.

I left school, but I was not runaway from learning.

Pursue your dreams, but don't use it as an excuse to escape.

So um, there. It got a bit longer than I expected. Sorry. XD

I contemplated about writing the pursuit of dreams, turning pro and experiences, but obviously, that would somewhat turn this entry into an autobiography and make everyone on this page fall asleep. So maybe next time.

PS: Despite the fact that I'd tried self-betaing 98124 times, I'm sure there're still errors and pointless sentences where I got carried away, so please forgive me.

PPS: But if you made it to the end, even if it doesn't help you in any way (since it's more addressed to a small group of people), I still hope you enjoyed reading it somehow... yeah. XD

PPPS: I just realized that this coincides with Obama's speech to students on education, just a note this was written quite sometime before, and thus is in no way a response or opinion towards his speech. ^^;

摄影之友: Feature+Interview, Aug 2009

2009-09-03T20:20:00.005+08:00

Part of a 14-page featured article profiling 6 top/up-and-coming female photographers in China at the moment.

For some reasons my answers for Chinese interviews always end up being really short and curt-sounding. It's probably my lack of vocabulary and practice, but definitely not my intention, please do forgive. T_T

Q&A里两次出现“（这是她的原文）”，我读到那段时实在是哭笑不得 =.=!!

印象中，一般被采访的人有什么不清楚的问题的话，写稿的应该要补充或者修改问题的吧？

尽然就这样登出来了，我晕啊～～～～

PS: Any thoughts on the new layout? I kinda thought maybe it'd go better with my new homepage. But it's just a bit hard to find time to revamp the whole thing @_@

The Banquet

2009-09-01T22:50:00.013+08:00

Gothic & Lolita Bible #34

Editor: Toshie Mihashi
Photography: Zhang Jingna
Assisted by: Chris Wolf
Hair&Make-up: Shunichi Kawada
Models: Cay, Kazumi, Karina, Uri, Chikage, Runa

Have to say, this was one of my most fascinating shoots to date, with the most awesome behind-the-scenes photograph (the first pic. No, really, that did not go into print, and yes, that's me in the centre).

I'm proud to have sorta designed the set for the epic shot. =D

And I love the hair and makeup to pieces. All done by Kawada-san, including the hair props/accessories. How frigging awesome is that?

I haven't gotten my copy of the mag so I'll add up the models names later, when I find out. ^^;

And just a few more around the last shot. Please pardon the lack of variation.

It's pretty amazing... Isn't it? To think how back in those days, we'd actually flip through this very magazine together.

It's strange how I never quite wrapped my mind around the concept that, one day, eventually, I will be older than you.

Never quite thought about how life would be beyond that time.

Yet here we are.

This is for you, .

Happy birthday.

Studio safety + designTAXI interview

2009-08-28T13:38:00.007+08:00

I was giving a talk for Profoto last night, during the light change I talked about the importance of putting weights and sandbags for light stands and booms -- that I'd been on sets when lights fall -- and boom! A beauty dish crashed to the floor behind me.

Oh. The irony.

At least no one was injured, and the light survived the crash (amazingly. The last 2m fall I experienced didn't kill the bulb either. Profoto FTW~!).

But yeah, studio safety. Use sandbags, weigh down booms, tape down wires and no uncapped liquids anywhere near the equipment vicinities.

I'd been on a sort-of break the past week. It's the first time I get to spend such a long break in Singapore in the past year.

It's actually pretty awesome to just laze around, attempt my 1984293 books and meet up with friends. I think the last time I had hung out with so many people in the span of a week was some 7 years ago.

A while back I was privileged with a featured interview for designTAXI.

Check it out here: The Front Seat Interview - Melancholy as an Aesthetic Emotion

It's one of my favourites to date. Thank you Gwen for the awesome questions~