When you are a giving soul, like so many of us are, you want to put all of you – the best of you – into everything you do. You strive to be fantastic, not to serve yourself but to pass it along, to share that fantasticness with others.

Sound familiar? If it does, you’ve probably also learned that nothing can dull that shininess and awesome like fear and stress. That just moving through this world can gunk up the works a bit. Because when you’re stressed or afraid, when the world just sucks, your energy and brilliance are funneling toward that problem – to solve the issue, make it better, avoid it. You’re spread too thin, not being your best you. And the dullness builds. The tarnish accumulates. Waiting for the day that the tides turn and you can catch a wave back to fantasticville.

Brave Enough for Anything

In one of my favorite books, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making, the main character encounters a soap golem on her travels. The golem tells September:

“When you are born”, the golem said softly, “your courage is new and clean. You are brave enough for anything: crawling off staircases, saying your first words without fearing that someone will think you are foolish, putting strange things in your mouth. But as you get older, your courage attracts gunk and crusty things and dirt and fear and knowing how bad things can get and what pain feels like. By the time you’re half-grown, your courage barely moves at all, it’s so grunged up with living. So every once in a while, you have to scrub it up and get the works going or else you’ll never be brave again. Unfortunately, there are not so many facilities in your world that provide the kind of services we do. So most people go around with grimy machinery, when all it would take is a bit of spit and polish to make them paladins once more, bold knights and true.”

We all encounter stress and fear. The difference, I think, is in the handling. Some of us are better at greasing the cogs, at shining our courage than others. Perhaps some of us have our own soap golems tucked away, or maybe we have friends to polish our courage for us.

But underneath it all, it exists for all of us. That original courage, the bravery that shines so bright that fierce words and slung mud slide right off.

What steps can you take today to polish up your moving parts, to re-become a bright and shining brave soul?

Image by Keith Williamson (CC-BY) via Flickr

You are not whole. You are not finished. You are not done.

And you won’t be until your very last breath on this world.

All of the things you’ve done, lived, and experienced, good and bad, make you the person you are today.

Your today shapes your tomorrow.

Your choices make your stories, now and always.

If you don’t like the way the story’s going, change it.

Create different paths for your future self to go down.

Build a different heart, a different mind, a different world.

It’s all up to you.

Image by David Kemp (CC BY) via Flickr.

The only thing worse than not getting what you want is not knowing what you want in the first place…

What do you really want?

Look beyond the surface of your goals, beyond the plans and the bucket lists and the to-dos.

What do you really want?

If you’re pushing to work for yourself, why? Do you want freedom? Flexibility? Creativity? No pants?

If you want to go to the gym more, why? Do you want better stamina? Better health? Increased flexibility?

Answer and keep drilling. Keep digging. Keep asking why until you get to your inner truth.

The forget everything else…and work outward.

Want better physical flexibility? Release your gym schedule. Try some yoga at your desk routines, or start with a few neck and shoulder rolls. Move on to hot yoga, or Pilates, or beginner ballet.

Want a more flexible schedule? Ask about comp time at work, or find a job that allows for a versatile schedule.

Take little steps, make little shifts, to bring yourself closer to what you really want.

But you can’t do that until you know what you really want.

Dig, dig, dig. Drill, drill, drill. Be open to learning what’s hidden way beneath the surface.

What’s really beneath it all? What do you really want?

Image by Robert S. Donovan (CC BY) via Flickr.

You know all those things that are sitting around unfinished? How they weigh on you, even when you’re unaware of it? Kate Johnson of kate-johnson.com is holding a free online creative campfire this weekend to help you finish up those unfinished projects. With my life (and projects!) in boxes right now, I’m not in a great place to take advantage of this freaking amazeballs program, but I will be there in spirit!! (Hmmm…maybe “packing” can be my unfinished project?) Anyway, I am so in love with the idea that I asked Kate to drop by and tell you all about what she has going on!

Most of us have creative projects left in some intermediate point between the sweet intensity of the beginning of a creative endeavor and the sometimes sweet, but often emotionally loaded, end.

Some projects may even be very close to completion, but we just have not been able to do that last thing…or we have hesitated to call it “done” because we are not quite ready to move on.

I invite you all to join me this weekend, March 23, 24, and 25th, for a completely free virtual weekend retreat. Wherever you may be, let’s join psychic forces and share the intention to move one of our creative projects closer to completion. 

Whether you have five minutes or the whole weekend, there is room for insight and progress, and there is such power in shared intention.

Maybe over the course of the weekend we can give ourselves permission to finish something, wrap it up, release it…or maybe we can move one of our projects closer to completion by making an honest assessment about what it will take to bring it to some sort of closure.

Come by the website, thatplacewego.blogspot.com, to share your thoughts if you’d like to and gather some support. Opening campfire is Friday night, when I’ll be posting a welcome video. I’ll be posting a few times a day over the course of the weekend, offering ideas, resources, and some reflections. Stop by when you can – I look forward to seeing you there!

Image by Doug Beckers (CC BY-SA) via Flickr

Kate is a start-up coach and consultant, a wonderer and imagine-er, a writer, a painter, a seeker, a gatherer, a creator. She created this series of online creative campfires to foster community and make the process of creating feel less solitary.
Kate blogs about creativity and the creative process at Heartwork, and she blogs about parenting after infertility at i-cant-whistle.blogspot.com. Emails are welcome! icantwhistle at yahoo dot com.

Why should people buy from you? Work with you? What makes you different from the next guy? Special? Unique? How are you perfectly primed to help them solve their problem, fill their hole, step forward on their journey?

Almost every purchase we make, online and off, is tied strongly to feelings and values. I buy bathroom cleaner because it’s what my mom used, and I buy pizza from a specific shop because it tastes like home (nostalgia). Along with the rest of western New York (or so it seems), I buy a specific brand of take-out coffee not because it’s the best (it’s not) or because it’s local (it’s not, unless you consider Canada local), but because it’s part of the culture, because you can raise your maroon cup in the air and hear battle cries of “Timmy Ho’s!” all around you (community). I buy the soap that makes my skin feel good (comfort), the coaching services that kick my ass (personal development).

Think about some of the purchases you’ve made recently – at the grocery store, from a restaurant, from an online merchant or service provider. Why did you make those choices? Why did you choose one thing over the other?

If you made any choices based solely on price comparison, it’s likely that you did it for one of two reasons (or a combination of both):

• Because low price is, right now, your highest value where that product or service is concerned; or
• Because you didn’t have a connection to, or reason to choose, any of your options, so you went with price.

So why does that matter? How does that impact you as a business owner, as a marketer?

• If  your potential clients have price as their absolute, unchangeable highest value, there’s nothing you can do to change that. Only they can decide whether your product or service’s pricing falls within what they are willing to pay. You have no control over that, so don’t waste energy trying to cater to the lowest price, or to price-match others. Price at a point that’s good for you and your offerings, and work on finding folks who will resonate with that price point as much as you do.
• It’s up to you to provide opportunities for connection. You can’t make the connection for them, but you can help your potential clients and Right People see how your product or service is perfect for them, how it will impact their world, solve their problem, or fill their need.

How do you do that? 

• Through testimonials and other social proof. The experiences that others have had with your offerings, your blog, your products, your writing – with you. They don’t have to be clients (or former clients) – think about other folks you have helped, in your personal and professional networks.
• Through brilliant and honest sales copy with (positive) emotional impact. We’ve all seen those sales pages that play on our fears, our tender points, and our squishy middles. Don’t be that person. Connect with positive emotions, the path that they’re on, not where they’re trying to get away from. And be honest! Don’t promise the moon and the stars if all you’re really delivering is the grass and the trees. (And we need the grass and the trees, by the way. We really do.)
• By being a true part of their community (not just advertising to them), and helping them discover how you can give them what they’re looking for. By connecting with them and having conversations about topics related to your offerings. And as you do, please remember – they are people, not a means to an end. Treat them with kindness and respect, and remember that you are there to share something awesome and to build relationships, not to make a quick buck.

You have the opportunity to build relationships with potential clients – and social media makes it very easy to get started – but the burden is on you to go the extra mile to make the connection, to show them why you’re awesome and amazing, to make your product or service stand out. Because when they’re ready to buy, that connection could make the difference between buying from you or buying from someone else (or buying nothing at all).

You’re Not Always What They Want

You can help people make their minds up, but you can’t change their minds completely if you’re not what they want in the first place. Case in point: in early 2012, Budweiser created an amazingly emotive and touching campaign that cuts straight to the heart of beer-drinking hockey-loving Canadians (and Buffalonians). It was incredible. It made me cry. I will remember that commercial for years to come.

But I still won’t switch to Bud, because I don’t like it. I like thick, room-temperature beer that makes a spoon stand to attention: chocolate stouts and crème brûlée porters and Guinness Extra Stout. I am not, and will likely never be, Budweiser’s Right People. No amount of connection, emotion, or hockey will change that…and that’s really okay.

Getting Clarity – Food for Thought

In order to to show people why what you’re offering is the bee’s knees, you need to understand it yourself – you need to get clarity around your offerings. Because you’re not selling a product or service. You’re selling connection. Stories. Emotion. Outcome. Is it pride? Happiness? A better experience? A better life? A nicer home?

Here are some questions to get you started…

• Why are you the perfect person to be offering what you’re offering?
• What problem do you solve, what hole do you fill, or how do you help people along their journey?
• What makes your product or service, provided by you, different from something similar offered by someone else?
• Why would someone jump on what you have to offer instead of buying nothing at all?

Original image by Mathias Klang (CC BY) via Flickr

What if you could step outside your business?

Take not one step, not two steps, but a few big giant steps back?

Distance yourself from the entanglement of passionate, all-encompassing ownership?

This is the crux of that an business exercise that asks, “if an outsider bought your company today, what’s the first thing they’d change?”.

But I think that misses the point.

Because it’s not always about change.

Take a breath, and step back.

What does your business look like at a distance?

Can you see the things, invisible up close, that you might want to do differently?

More importantly, can you see all the things you’re doing right?

Image by Jaskirat Singh Bawa (CC BY-SA) via Flickr

Last Friday, I was hanging out, plotting and scheming with my amazing friend Christine (AKA “That Money Girl“). In the midst of heavy thoughts about success and wealth, and how our stories get in the way, we started chatting about pricing – specifically about “Pay What You Can” (PWYC) or “Pay With Your Heart” pricing.

When Kandice and I launched Teaching Redefined last month, we made a last-minute decision to offer it under a “Pay With Your Heart” program. (It’s like “Pay What You Can”, only squishier.) It fit with our goals for the course – to share our passion for teaching with as many people as possible, to connect people with their inner teachers, and to bring more effective, loving, creative teaching into the world – and it felt so good, so right to both of us to be able to offer it that way.

While this sort of pricing model seems to be fairly common these days (I’ve been the on the buying end of several PWYC deals), there’s not a lot of public-facing chatter about how it actually works out, from a business perspective, so I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences here.

Mostly? It was awesome. And a little surprising.

It was awesome because it let us reach people that we otherwise might not have reached, putting our message and goals out there without money being a factor. It was awesome for us because we were so burstingly fulfilled from just creating the course that we truly wanted to get it out there to everyone, but we kind of slacked on the marketing side of things. (You know that saying about how just because you know what to do doesn’t mean you’re actually going to do it? Yeah, that.)

The surprising part was the numbers. Participants were split almost exactly down the middle – about half paid less, and about half paid sticker price or more. Yeah, more. I’m still amazed by that. (I’ve heard other folks tell that it happens, but I’m not sure I ever believed it.)

Playing wild and crazy with pricing isn’t for everyone, though. If you’re out of line or not feeling good about it, or if the cost (in time, money, energy or feelings) is too high, PWYC is a recipe for disaster. If it’s feeling good, though, and you’re 100% on board, it can be awesome. How do you know if PWYC is a good fit?

I wouldn’t recommend it if…

• You have high per-sale costs.
  If your product or service costs a lot to produce or offer – if it’s time-intensive, emotionally or energetically draining, or if there are lots of materials or other variable costs involved, PWYC is probably not a good fit, unless you know you can recoup those costs elsewhere.
• You have a “reserve” amount in mind.
  Is there a minimum amount you’re hoping someone will pay for your offering? Is there a chance you’ll resent them, or feel like they’ve somehow cheated you if they don’t pay at least that much? Be honest with yourself! Setting yourself up to resent a client is nasty business, especially if you’re offering a service. And hey – it’s okay to have a minimum! It doesn’t make you a bad person (in fact, it makes you a savvy businessperson).
• You’re collaborating with someone, and they’re not fully on board.
  For a collaboration be successful in any situation, all the collaborators need to be on board with decisions made. You don’t want your business partner to feel icky about your offering, or resent your clients, do you?
• A “Pay What You Can” model is not fully in line with your values.
  If you feel that this sort of pricing is not for you, then it’s not. Full stop. If your gut says folks should be paying full price, go with it. Really.
• Your product or service is something that requires a significant time investment from the user.
  This is a big one for me, and why I currently have no plans to offer my one on one services on a PWYC basis. In my case, the money invested up front is more than a number: it’s a commitment to the process. (You know how you might ditch on a free outdoor concert quite easily, but rarely on the concert you spent $200 on tickets for? It’s like that.) Money can be a very effective and important barrier to entry for situations where a significant amount of time or energy is required. Think about what you offer, why it’s currently priced the way it is, and whether your pricing functions as a barrier to entry in a way that you desire.

I’d recommend it if…

• You are clear about your goals, and they are not monetary.
  If you’re interested in offering a PWYC product or service to expand your reach, connect with a market you don’t normally connect with, or otherwise spread your good stuff around, and you really, truly don’t need to make money from the product, PWYC might be a good choice. While people may pay sticker price or more, there’s always a possibility that everyone will pay the minimum; you need to be sure that you’re okay with that
• Your cost does not drastically increase with additional sales.
  Ebooks and self-study courses are a really great example of this: you can create the information once and offer it a wide number of times without drastically increasing your cost in energy, time, materials, or effort. That’s not to say that you won’t be 100% present for any direct contact – you always should be! – but that you know you won’t be overtaxing yourself with work that you can’t afford, in one way or another, to be doing.
• A  ”Pay What You Can” model is totally up your alley.
  If PWYC makes your heart sing, makes you want to try it to see what happens, makes you want to shout “PWYC stuff here!” from the rooftops, it’s probably a good choice for you.
• You can honestly say that you will be as grateful for people who pay the minimum as you will for people who pay the sticker price (or more).
  This is the key, the most important factor in offering a PWYC product or service. Can you honestly say that you will not, even for one smidge of a moment, begrudge, resent, or feel cheated by anyone who does not pay full price? That you will assume universal awesomeness and be as full of gratitude for the big-dollah lovahs as the little-dollah lovahs? If you can – if you really, really can – then give it a shot. It feels soooo good.

Would I do it again?

That’s an emphatic yes – for self-study courses, at least. In fact, I’m excited to say I have two new offerings, and they’re both Pay With Your Heart:

What if instead of stress, hassle, and unwelcome obligation, your days could be filled with excitement, peace, and magic? And what if you didn’t have to find extra time in your schedule to make that happen? Everyday Awareness isn’t about making time. It’s not about finding something new. It’s about the magic in what’s already there.

The Evil League of You: How Undervaluing Yourself Destroys the World is a self-study e-course designed to give you the tools you need to raise your prices and feel damn good about it. Learn why you need to raise your prices, why higher prices are good for your clients, and how to combat internal resistance, increase perceived value, and notify your clients with confidence and ease.

Image by Robynlou Kavanaugh (CC BY) via Flickr

You can make a move, or you can stay where you are – that choice is up to you. But don’t fool yourself into thinking that the choices are equal or the same. Saying “it doesn’t matter” is defeatist and faulty, because it does. It always matters. “It doesn’t matter” is a choice to stay the same. “It doesn’t matter” is an excuse to not change.

What options or choices have you been comparing lately that feel the same, or maybe make you feel like it doesn’t matter?

Take time today to ponder the real differences between your choices. Does it make things clearer?

Image by Irishwildcat (CC BY) via Flickr

You don’t have to be impulsive to go with your gut.

You don’t have to build a rocket ship *right now* to reach for the stars, the moon, or beyond.

You don’t have to quit your job *today* to follow your bliss someday.

Acting impulsively? Isn’t really going with your gut at all.

While you’re building that rocket ship, you’re focused on building, not on listening to why you want to head for that part of the galaxy.

While you’re tearing your hair out, doing the “how the hell am I going to pay the bills” dance, you’re missing all the reasons that you wanted to leave that job in the first place.

Going with your gut isn’t about feeling something and taking immediate action.

It’s about listening. Understanding. Digging deep into your motivations, your desires, your dreams. About knowing what you really, truly want from this life. How you want to act, how you want to live, what path you want to follow, what footsteps you want to leave behind. Defining success, joy, and wealth on your terms.

If you’re unhappy, unsettled, or discontent, and you act on impulse, it’s very likely that you’ll find the same levels of gross in your next endeavor. That you’ll still feel icky. Stuck. Discombobulated.

But if you listen, really *listen*, to what you know deep inside of you, you’ll be able to follow paths that were otherwise hidden to you. Find ways to make small changes to bring you closer to your dreams.

Because it’s all about feelings, baby. That’s what your gut knows. Feelings. Values. Instincts.

Listen closely. Listen long and hard. And make your move.

Click here for part two: a six-year follow-your-gut voyage. Yeah, I said six years.

Image by Jane Rahman (CC-BY) via Flickr.

Freebies are great, awesome, and absolutely the Thing To Do. But are they doing you, and your audience, any favors?

Freebie-with-signup is a nifty idea, right?. Create something cool, that your audience will love. Get them to sign up for your list, because we MUST FEED THE LIST MONSTER OM NOM NOM. People sign up to get the freebie, and then you can send them your stuff.

Anyone see the disconnect there?

Why on earth did we make the mystical leap between “wants to read my freebie” and “wants to hear more from me”?

At best, I think, it’s presumptuous. We assume that the content of our freebie will be equal to the interestingness of our mailing list content to the user (and WOW, is that not always the case). We assume that the reader is going to be so into our stuff by the end of the book, or class, or worksheet that they want all our other stuff too.

At worst, it’s a slightly slimy, conniving way to grow your list to that magical 1,000. Come, read my thing, and become a number on a list of other numbers.

Yay. Just what I always wanted. a PDF and a number.

Both of these scenarios, though, are missing a key component: creating a list of interested people – Right People – that actually want to hear from you.

Self-Selection: Let Them Do The Work for You

See, a newsletter or mailing list is kind of the ultimate in self-selection. These are the folks that are interested, the folks that really dig your shit.

Wouldn’t you rather have 50 people that dig you than 200 that just wanted your freebie, that click “delete” (or, worse, “this is spam”) every time your message comes through?

This is, incidentally, also why you should never, ever, ever add people to your mailing list without their express permission. (This includes people who’ve taken an unrelated course, or someone whose business card you picked up at a mixer.) Not only is it incredibly rude, it does you absolutely no good! Why have people on your list that don’t want to be there? Focus on the folks who dig your stuff!

Let’s give ‘em something to talk about

The next time you sit down to write or promote your newsletter, think about how interesting, how valuable it is for your subscribers. Not valuable as in “discount coupons for your stuff”, but how does it impact their lives? Their businesses? Or whatever part of their world you’re out to help with?

Now think about ways you can communicate the value of that content to potential subscribers. Is it life-changing? Business-boosting? Does it make them think? Help them grow? Give them easy inbox access to your blog posts? Provide weekly cosplay makeup tips?

Give them a reason to be there, other than a freebie. And hey – give ‘em a freebie if you want to – freebies are cool! – but don’t make it the key selling point.

The example that inspired this post

A few weeks back, I stumbled across a new-to-me blog. I poked around, and read a bunch, and really, really grooved with the blogger’s message and ideas. So I signed up for his mailing list, because I wanted more of what he was doing. Wanted that connection.

And then, with my confirmation link (yay double opt-in!), I got a link to a freebie. The signup form I used didn’t tell me I’d get a freebie (or if it did, I wasn’t paying attention), and it wasn’t plastered all over his site. It just popped up in my inbox, a magical gift from someone I really wanted to get to know (in a non-stalkery way, of course.)

It felt so good. So right. So non-slimy, un-salesy. (Especially in contrast with a few things I’ve signed up for since then, which were so slimy that in one case, I unsubscribed even before I grabbed the freebie I’d signed up for in the first place.)

There’s no “right way” to do this whole dance, by the way. What felt right and good to me felt good because I was that guy’s Right People, whereas I clearly wasn’t for the one I unsubbed from. And that’s good. (Heck, it’s better than good.)

Be mindful about why & how you do what you do.

I’m not calling for some sort of weird ban on or boycott of freebies. That’d be weird and kinda sad. What I would like to see, however, is a bit more mindfulness, some more thought and reflection, going into these freebies and their associated newsletters. A slight release from the “build your list” mentality. More reaching out, less digging in.

Would your subscribers sign up if there was no freebie? What reasons can you give them to grant you a spot in their inbox, to give you their valuable attention, to surrender their precious email address? What can you give them in return, on an ongoing basis? How can you best give them the opportunity to self-select, so that your message is reaching the people that are listening, that want to hear?

Image by Paigey Pics (CC-BY-ND) via Flickr