Blog, Zulfiqar, Blog!

Don't read the blog? Nevermind the Twitter

2009-03-29T00:40:00.003+05:00

An exercise in futility, appropriately comparable to processed substances sold as food and quantum mechanics' relentless flirts with gravity in order to arrive at a unified theory of everything. If that doesn't make sense, it really doesn't matter anyway.Go to Zulfiqar's Twitter - The Zulfitter.Title: Tui Tah and the Shakespearean Monkeys - A Heartwarming Tale of Short Attention Span and Long

Romantic Republic

2009-02-25T03:49:00.021+05:00

Chapter None"The problem with being an atheist is, my dear," he flicked the cigarette expertly like Eastwood never did, then quickly ducked in vain as the butt boomeranged back towards him along the evening wind's wild, strong gust... "that it is really your own problem." He cursed silently and brushed the smoldering remains off his Armani. Damn, he thought, will have to get it drycleaned yet

Britney Spears

2008-07-28T04:35:00.014+06:00

I began blogging in 2000/1. Ha ha, yeah right, pops! You'd probably say. Well, it is sadly true because the original blog from Karachi really sucked and is now stored securely at the US National Archives under Lincoln Memorial, and it won't be made public until the year 2055. Even Dan Brown acknowledged its existence in his famous book 'The Mai Kolachi Code.' I highly recommend that book.

The End of Year Post

2007-12-18T21:45:00.000+05:00

The readership demanded an end-of-year post. And what a year it has been! Well, here it is with all due apologies and respect to freedom, liberty and the civil society's democratic struggle in my homeland.Special apologies to the original photographer whose photo I, er, enhanced, and those who appear in it.

The Great Blog Post

2007-10-31T00:10:00.000+05:00

According to some readers of this blog (like my famous appearance on Oprah, they're also a figment of my imagination as no one really reads this stupid blog, ha ha), I should try posting more meaningful experiences. You know, the kind that makes a blog uber-readable and ultra enviable.So, last week, I visited an unbelievable number of a few thousand blogs, which took most of my week's 8 minutes

iPhone - Apple reinvents monopoly

2007-09-26T05:41:00.001+05:00

With apologies to Apple Inc, American Telephone & Telegraph and iPhone-assemblers in China.

Helium - It's light gas

2007-09-26T05:24:00.001+05:00

With apologies to Helium.

Second Wife

2007-09-26T05:01:00.000+05:00

With apologies to Second Life.

Epic Part 3 - Trapped

2007-05-01T18:35:00.000+05:00

How ironic, he thought as he tried to make room for himself over the rusted cast-iron planks on the wildly chugging freight-car of the train: it rocked, rattled and screamed more than a bouncing cat inside an old canister of oil being kicked and hurtled by two 9-year old brats returning home from school after a bad day of getting bullied by Deishu the ugly, rat-faced fat 8th-grader.Yes, Deishu

Here's a load off

2007-04-27T21:28:00.000+05:00

While doing a painstaking research on what to blog about - amidst mounting pressure of failure... isn't it strange that you come across what is infinitely the most amazing video clip that you have ever seen in your entire life:

Epic - Part 2: Train across the ocean

2007-04-18T02:45:00.000+05:00

He kept on walking until the land gave way to the ocean, which in fact was a muddy swamp of a river but he had flunked elementary geography in high school. Out of a corner of his eye he could feel the bi-plane now spiralling like a moth on three screwdrivers and eight tequila shots, so he rubbed his eyes violently because the corner of his eye had caught an eyelash and there was no kamikaze

My secret chats with Halle Berry

2007-04-13T22:31:00.000+05:00

Now that Halle Berry reveals that she chats anonymously on the Internet, it's time I came out clean and reproduced this Instant Messaging session with her (my secret online handle is Abdul_Hashim_Cool_Dude, for those who didn't know):Anonymous_Girl_HB: Hello there, handsome.Abdul_Hashim_Cool_Dude: My God, you sound like Halle Berry!Anonymous_Girl_HB: How on earth do you know that?

Here begins the great epic of our time

2007-04-10T05:29:00.000+05:00

It was a dark, stormy night. No, it was a dark, cloudless night with few stars scattered across the sky, like after a pack of cheap instant macaroni splits open with a crackle and a gush of rock-hard broken pasta pallets sprinkle all over the kitchen floor."Damn..." he mumbled as he looked up toward the sky and saw a tiny bi-plane spinning out of control, as if a freshly bug-sprayed cockroach

Serenity? Oh, please!

2007-04-05T19:20:00.001+05:00

It's now clear that given appropriate voting rights, the teens will elect the latest cute-ass fad-queen to lead the free (and not so free) world... The Guardian reflects:SFX magazine recently solicited votes for the best sci-fi movie ever from its own top 10: fans could cast their votes by clicking on the website. Serenity has just emerged as the winner (one place ahead of Star Wars). It's a

A Malaysian car that 'sounds like a disease.'

2007-04-05T04:32:00.001+05:00

According to this BBC story:Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has come under attack in Malaysian parliament for labelling one of the country's cars the worst in the world. The BBC presenter has been filmed attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer before blowing it up... In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for