Gutted

Well, it seems that for all of my talk about trusting your gut and following your own heart, I am having a bit of a problem following my own advice.

Cobbler's shoeless kid, that's me.

You see, basically trusting your gut entails trusting yourself.

Trusting your judgement.

Trusting your heart.

Taking that leap of faith that maybe, just maybe, you do know what is best for you.

Oh you can listen to other people's opinions, absorb what you want, what you need, or what you are even in the mood to hear.

But it basically boils down to this,

Whatever you and your fears want to believe is what you will hear.

That little voice inside you that has been there since birth gets buried once the fear and paranoia monster show up. They take over, and you question yourself.

There is pride as well, the fear of being made a fool of, the fear of making yet another mistake.

They can be a pretty overwhelming trio at times, consuming you and making you think and do things that you may not normally do.

They can also make you distrust.

Distrust others, but mainly yourself.

The more you question your gut, the lesser your inner trust becomes.

Trusting yourself is probably the hardest trust of all to learn.

No one wants to get hurt, especially by their own doing.

But in my experience, the only times I have been seemingly hurt or wronged is when I have done it to myself, caused it myself.

You cannot learn to trust any other human being until you learn to trust yourself.

And that, my dear readers, is so so so hard.

You want to believe your friend's when they tell you what to do or think or say.

Hell you might even want to believe me right now.

But I don't know you, nor you I.

Only you know you, and only you know what is best for you.

We, and yes I most definitely include myself in this , have to stand firm in our own beliefs and own gut. It's a hard struggle, and one that will take a lifetime to perfect, however it is the only way you can trust yourself, heal yourself and believe. You may be proven wrong, but the sting is lessened by the knowledge that you honestly, truly believed you were doing the right thing.

Because YOU told YOU to.

So my friends go for it, trust yourself, and I shall try to do the same from this day on, and hopefully in time I will be able to trust others and perhaps, just perhaps, be right in doing so.

xo

Cheekie