Tough love available here

I think of myself as a fairly indulgent parent. I let my kids watch more kinds of shows on TV than most of their friends' parents do. They certainly don't lack for clothes or toys. We eat a lot of cookies around here. But from time to time, an event will make me realize I can be pretty tough.

This household runs on the premise that if you can do something, then you should be doing it yourself, and not asking someone else to do it for you. This is harder for me than it is for anyone else, because in almost any case you could think of, I personally could do it faster than [name a child] could.

Recently, I realized the 2yo could put on and take off one of his pairs of shoes. The first time he did it, he was so excited! Big cheers all around.

So this morning, that was the pair of shoes handy. I gave them to him and said, "Sit down and put these on, please."

"No."

"2yo, I need you to put your shoes on now. We're almost ready to go."

"NO! You do it."

Can I just say, there is no way to get my back up faster than to sass me. I am the queen of sass. No one is allowed to sass me!

"I am not putting your shoes on. You can do it. Remember how you did it the other day? Now we've got to go. Come on."

"I caaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn'tttttttttttttttt."

Oh Lord. That child was on my last nerve. This is the point where I yelled at him. I am a yeller and I can own that. I do not hold grudges, but you don't want to get on that last nerve.

I can at least place this neurosis, my problem with "I can't." Two things:

• When I was in elementary school, I was on a competitive gymnastics team. That's a whole other story, but my coach was very strict on one point: You were not allowed to say, "I can't." Don Kirton was a very good teaching coach, really understood kids and got the best out of you. But more than once, I saw him kick someone out of the gym for saying, "I can't." And frankly, he was right. The kids who believed they could do it, did it. You had to have a level of physical skill. But the mental attitude divided the kids who were really great from those who were just good.
• My dad, also not a fan of "I can't." I don't remember his ever kicking anyone out of the house for saying it, though.

So, I left the room. I left the 2yo sitting there on the bed with his shoes, hollering about how he just couldn't do it. About 2 minutes later, silence.

Then: "Mama! I did it!"

Comments

[Mom]

Priceless!

[Mom]

One of the things I hate most about living in Florida is that I miss MOST of these moments with my grandchildren. I have such fond memories of you and your sisters and so much wish I could see those same or similar events with Ellis and Jacob. At the end of the day nothing really matters except family and I am fortunate to have the best one ever..... YES, EVER

[Pookie]

The last post about a reason that I did not like Florida was actually mine.

Pookie

[lcreekmo]

Here's the really funny part. This morning, we went outside early to work in the yard. I set the 2yo out on the back step, shoes in hand. I said, "As soon as you put those on, you can go play in the yard."

I had to scold him a couple times for stepping into the grass with his socks on, but that child played on the patio for TWO SOLID HOURS because he wanted me to put his shoes on. Hahahaha. He apparently had forgotten who he was dealing with.

After we'd been outside that long, he finally came up with something he wanted to do badly in the yard, and the shoes were on in about a minute. Meanwhile, I got a heck of a lot of work done. :)

[Kate]

OMG, you just gave me an idea. I'm totallly going to ban I can't and I'm never in my adult learning classroom. Totally shuts down learning.

[fluffernutter]

My daughter, Sweet Cheeks, is an only child and no matter how hard you work not to be your kid's servant, when she's an only child, you CAN do more, so you do. It has led to what I call "The Super Show" of helplessness. This morning, we were late, so I poured her milk into a "to go" cup with a lid. We looked for a straw but couldn't find one and finally just had to leave. In the car, she pouted and said, "Mom, how, how am I going to drink this?" I suppressed a laugh and said, "Sweetie, people have been finding a way to convey food to their mouths for millions of years, and I'm going to believe with my whole heart that you will find a way to drink the milk."

[Wormwood's Doxy]

Our stock phrase around here is:

"Can't never could do anything."

Glad to know that I have company in the World's Meanest Mommy competition! ;-)

[lcreekmo]

Oh, I haven't thought about that phrase in a long time. I'm totally stealing it.