10 years in one small box

I've been cleaning up a lot around here lately, trying to make room for the fiance, who's moving here when we get married in late June. So far, I've cleaned off one shelf of a bookshelf [still!], sold my CD player and speakers, and gotten rid of a lot of miscellaneous junk that I don't really want him to replace with junk of his own. So not much real progress to speak of.

But I am very proud of this one thing. I had had a bunch of letters and cards in a corner of the utility room for quite some time. They used to be in a sack, which had fallen apart a long time ago. So I thought I'd sort through those and figure out what was worth keeping. I discovered that I'd already sorted through the vast majority of the pile a long time ago, and most of it was good stuff. So I found a nice box to put it in, and now it's all set. 10 years of correspondence in one box.

But [as you're probably aware], that wasn't the interesting part. I was so intrigued -- and saddened -- by the pattern I discovered. In the early to mid-90s, my friends and family and I wrote each other all the time. I found so many letters from high school and college friends in the years after graduation. Some were 3 or more pages, typewritten. Lots of thank-you notes from friends and family. And they started to taper off in the mid-1990s. By the time my daughter was born in 1999, I was down to practically nothing.

I attribute this to two things:

• Email
• Life

Both are pretty easy to understand -- we all started using email more and more. In fact, a lot of the later correspondence in my box consists of emails I printed out. But I think the fact that we CAN correspond for free anytime we want has led many of us to correspond far less often than we should.

And in the years since my daughter was born, many of my corresponding friends have also married and had children. These days, I'm lucky to find time to load the dishwasher. [Side note: I've had an awesome Mother's Day. It included 4 loads of laundry [3 are already folded and put away, go me!], 3 loads in the dishwasher [one more to go after this one], vacuuming, and a whole passel of cooking. And, some nice time with my kids. :) ]

So I'm resolving to send more notes. They are awfully nice to receive and have to reminisce over.

P.S. I will note, I have several family members and a couple of friends who are wonderful correspondents to this day. My aunt Linda hasn't ever missed my birthday, nor those of my children. And practically everyone I'm close with sends me a wonderful Christmas card every year. But that's all I've been doing myself. Mine are not even personalized any more. Sigh.

Comments

[Malia]

My maternal grandmother never missed any of our birthdays either. We always got cards in the mail from her. Over the years, the number of actual cards I would receive dwindled to two, hers always being the one of two that came. She died a couple of years ago and I think what I miss most is getting a card from her on my birthday! The director of the preschool that my daughter went to and that my son will go to this fall is the other person from whom I receive a birthday card. It will be a sad day indeed when she is unable to continue with that tradition!

You've inspired me to be more intentional about sending actual cards and letters, more often than not!

[lynne boyer]

My grandmother passed away a little over a year ago at the age of 95. I have so many notes that she sent me over the years. Because she never was really in the computer world, her handwriting remained lovely.

Obviously, I miss her for many, many reasons. One of those is the words of encouragement, advice and love that she always seems to write to me just at the right time.

Write more notes! You'll be glad you did.